When is the Time to Trust?

A couple mornings ago I felt compelled to open my very old copy of the classic devotional book, Streams in the Desert.  This book was a gift from my home church when I graduated from high school way back in 1973.  But even though my graduation date makes the book old…of which I am all too aware more and more each day…the actual writings of Mrs. Charles Cowman were first published in 1925.  Her writing style may be old school, but the deep truths contained therein are timeless.

I was touched deeply by what I read that morning about faith and trust.  I jotted a few notes, tucked the truths away in my mind, and was soon about my busy day.  Aaron was staying home that day and we had fun plans!

Our plans were to meet some friends at All Star Sports for a morning of games.  My friend Joyce and I had decided to get our two sons together.  It would be the first time that Johannes and Aaron would be with each other for an outing, and we both wondered how it would go.

How it went was great!  I mean, there wasn’t tons of interaction between them, but the ice was broken, and plans were made for more time together.  Sweet Johannes held his hand out and with a prompt from me, Aaron shook his hand without squeezing it too hard, and Joyce and I laughed and were happy.  The boys had a good time and that’s what mattered!

 

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Aaron and I then went to eat some lunch and to drop off donations at Goodwill before heading home.  Soon after we got home, Aaron took a nap.  I had the monitor nearby, listening as I always do when he sleeps.  I really didn’t expect to hear a seizure, so I was surprised when I suddenly heard that unmistakable sound coming across the table where I sat.

It was a hard seizure, lasting close to 3 minutes.  And exactly one hour later, to the minute, he had another one.  It wasn’t as long as the first one but was still 2 minutes long.  Thankfully, he was done then and had no more the rest of the day.

It’s so surprising, even now after all these years, how quickly Aaron can go from being out and about, happy and fine, to having a seizure.  I don’t try to figure them out like I used to do, but I still find myself wondering why.

Even the next day on the way home from his day group, his speech was somewhat slurred, and he was very tired.  He fell asleep on the way home instead of his usual non-stop talking.  Was it the residual effects of yesterday’s seizure, I wondered?  Is his sodium low again?  Will he have another seizure when he gets home and takes a nap?

 

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So, even though this is Aaron’s life and our life, it’s still disconcerting.  Worrying.  Unsettling.

My mind was drawn back to the devotional I read earlier that morning.  I went back to it and was, as I always am, so amazed at how God has for me just what I need when I most need it.

Mrs. Cowman’s words were based on the story of Paul’s shipwreck in Acts 27.  The south wind blew gently as the sailor’s pulled anchor.  Paul had warned them not to take this trip, but they didn’t listen.  And that south wind was such a hopeful sign to them that they were right, and Paul was wrong.

But soon a terrible storm hit.  For days the ship was violently tossed on the waves.  During that horrible storm, with no sun or stars for days…with everything thrown off the ship that could possibly be tossed overboard…verse 20 says that all hope of being saved was abandoned.

But an angel of God stood before Paul to assure him there would be no loss of life.  Paul stood bravely before those battered and terrified seasoned sailors, and confidently said, “So take heart, men, FOR I HAVE FAITH IN GOD!!”

I thought about our life with Aaron…the ups and downs in so many areas…and the fear concerning his seizures.  How that day had been so much fun and so without fear, and then out of the blue came two hard seizures.  It was easy for fear to replace our fun.

My need to trust God is always there, right at the surface, even underneath all the normal and the fun and the hopeful.

But ACTUALLY trusting God is a must when suddenly the normal and the fun and the hopeful is yanked away.

That level of trust is a conscious decision that I must make.

That level of trust isn’t based on circumstances or on feelings but is rooted in God Himself…in Who I know Him to be.

This year for all of us has seen the rug pulled out in so many areas of our lives.  Things were going along pretty well for most of us.  Then…BAM!!

COVID…jobs…riots…anger…fear…disagreement.

I want to leave you with the hope that God is not taken aback or surprised by any of this.  He has a purpose and a plan.

Can you say, with Paul, that you have faith in God?

I want to leave you with a wonderful poem shared by Mrs. Cowman that I read that morning.  I hope it will mean as much to you as it did…and does…to me.

 

When is the time to trust?

                        Is it when all is calm,

                        When waves the victor’s palm,

                        And life is one glad Psalm

                        Of joy and praise?

            Nay!  But the time to trust

                        Is when the waves beat high,

                        When storm clouds fill the sky,

                        And prayer is one long cry,

                                    O help and save!

 

            When is the time to trust?

                        Is it when friends are true?

                        Is it when comforts woo,

                        And in all we say and do

                        We meet but praise?

            Nay!  But the time to trust

                        Is when we stand alone,

                        And summer birds have flown,

                        And every prop is gone,

                                    All else but God.

 

            What is the time to trust?

                        Is it some future day,

                        When you have tried your way,

                        And learned to trust and pray

                                    By bitter woe?

            Nay!  But the time to trust

                        Is in this moment’s need,

                        Poor, broken, bruised reed!

                        Poor, troubled soul, make speed

                                    To trust thy God.

 

            What is the time to trust?

                        Is it when hopes beat high,

                        When sunshine gilds the sky,

                        And joy and ecstasy

                                    Fill all the heart?

            Nay!  But the time to trust

                        Is when our joy is fled,

                        When sorrow bows the head,

                        And all is cold and dead,

                                    All else but God.

 

 

Aaron on the Wild Side

Not even two miles from our house is an amazing wildlife park.  Tanganyika Wildlife Park is a favorite of ours, and definitely a favorite of Aaron’s.  Yesterday afternoon Gary and I took Aaron to Tanganyika for an afternoon on the wild side.  I loved these pictures so much that I just wanted to share them with all of you.

You can see by Aaron’s smile that he loves Tanganyika!

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We were greeted at the beginning of our visit by these ends!  🙂

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Aaron loved feeding Pluto some carrots.  Look at those teeth!!

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The penguins are adorable!

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We fed some lemurs but couldn’t take photos in there.

Then there was this huge guy, who is 48 years old!

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The kangaroo was soft and mellow.

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And Aaron LOVED the Lorikeets, especially the one who nibbled and licked his hair.

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This beauty danced when I played a song on my phone!  So much fun!

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There are so many other animals to see.  It’s just a great place…not too big but with plenty to see.

We ended with a stop to see and feed the giraffes.  Look at both these happy faces!!  What a perfect way to end our day on the wild side with Aaron!

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Setting the Mask Example

You know how you feel if you see a sign while you’re driving that says, “DANGER AHEAD!!”   Well, it’s not like we see those signs often, if ever, but in my life with our autistic Aaron there are most definitely sure pointers to a certain danger lying ahead of us.

Take, for instance…masks.

I knew when this COVID issue was ramping up and masks were becoming suggested…strongly suggested…then required…

Well, I knew we were probably in for a rough road ahead with Aaron.

Aaron…who would come home from school at a very young age with holes torn in his shirt because he had angrily ripped the tag out.  The tag irritated him and so I learned to cut tags out of each of his shirts.

Aaron…who furiously rebelled at wearing jeans when he was young because he only wanted “soft pants.”

I could go on, but you understand.  And so do many of my special-needs friends and other parents I don’t even know who are facing this mask dilemma with their tactically sensitive children…young or adult.

Aaron and I pulled into our Aldi parking lot when I decided to have him wear a mask for the first time.  Actually, I had been plotting this day for awhile.  I took Aaron for a nice walk nearby at Nellie’s Pond.  We sat on a bench and watched a family of ducks.  We watched people fishing.  We watched geese munching on grass nearby.  We were relaxed and happy.  A perfect time to broach the irritating subject of…MASKS!!

And to break the news to Aaron that on this day…in just a few minutes…he would be wearing a mask and I would be wearing a mask when we went to Aldi.

GULP!!

I helped Aaron with his mask before we exited the van.  He was not too happy, to say the least, but he did keep it on.  We hadn’t even opened our doors yet but I was telling myself, “So far, so good!!  The mask is ON his face!!”

“Okay!!” I happily exclaimed as we met at the back of the van and I took out my shopping bags.  “Let’s go shopping!”

We had taken only a few steps when…

“This is all TRUMP’S fault!!”  Aaron angrily responded.

Oh boy.

For some strange reason, since the virus first became an issue, Aaron had an issue with Trump.  He blamed the virus and the disruption in his personal life on Trump.  Who knows why?!

“Aaron,” I reprimanded firmly, “stop saying that!  Do NOT say that in the store!”

Aaron was quiet as we walked inside.  As he looked at some cookies, he made a comment about them and then stopped mid-sentence.

“My VOICE sounds funny!!” he blurted out.

“Then just don’t talk, Aaron,” I replied with impatience.  I walked away and Aaron followed, with me dreading what the next outburst might be.  I just wanted to hurry and be done with our shopping.  When Aaron gets upset like this, there is no pleasing him.  No pep talks.  No consolations.  No smiles (he couldn’t see them under my mask anyway!!).

Really, nothing helps but to end the misery and I was determined to not give him an easy out.

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Through the rest of the store he pointed out people who weren’t wearing masks.  I glared at him with my best glare!

He complained about being uncomfortable.  He said his ears hurt.  And the second we stepped up to the register line, he was done.  Off came the mask!

All in all, though, I thought it went pretty well.  Trust me.  It could have been FAR worse!

The following weeks have seen progress with Aaron and his mask.  Look at him here at his doctor visit in June!

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But there was a big hurdle ahead…one I really dreaded.

Going back to his day group, Paradigm.

Masks were being required there, although his wonderful staff said they all understood that not only Aaron but several of the clients might have serious issues with wearing a mask all day.

His first day back last week started out a little rough.  I walked in with him and my heart sank as he at first refused the hand sanitizer, and emphatically said NO each time he was reminded to wear his mask.  I left there and drove home with a very heavy heart.  But later, after he ate, he was told to look around at how everybody else had on a mask.  So he put his on and has done well every day since.

I was talking with some of the staff later in the week.  They are amazed at the resilience and adaptability from these special-needs adults.  They have so many challenges already on many various levels, yet there they are in their day group…happy, chatting together, eating, laughing, not able to go out in the community right now, some sitting in wheel chairs, struggling with all sorts of health issues and other problems…and they’re wearing their masks.

They’re not arguing about whether masks do a good job.  They’re not talking about conspiracy theories.  They’re not reading the latest media stories or listening to all the debates.  They just know that they are, at this point, required to add one more uncomfortable thing to their already uncomfortable lives…so they do it.

They just do it.

Sometimes I wonder if our special-needs ones, full of so much discomfort already, have an easier time adapting to just one more discomfort than do we.

We…who are acting a bit spoiled, I might add.

I have ONE thing that’s irritating to me on most days.  A mask.

I don’t have the myriad issues that Aaron and his friends at his day group have.

Then why am I the one that is quick to complain?

I am humbled, once again, at our wonderful special-needs population…many of whom were unable to be with their families for weeks as they were in lockdown in their group homes.

I am humbled by the parents of our special-needs angels…parents who are exhausted and worried and have yet one more huge concern to add to their already full plates.

So let’s follow their example and just do what needs to be done right now, thanking God for each day and not letting our little inconvenience of wearing a mask turn us into absolute grouches.

Smile along with Aaron, everyone!

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A Fun Fourth

Our Fourth of July was hot and sparkly, full of Aaron smiles and excitement, mixed in with too much quietness for my liking.  The quietness comes from not having our kids or extended family nearby.  I don’t even really like holidays for that reason, but I choose to count my blessings and enjoy our special Aaron times.

On Friday, Gary and I took Aaron out to eat at Cracker Barrel.  He loves that restaurant!  He left with a full stomach and a chocolate bar from the gift store, and ended up with a sack full of sparklers and other smoky, loud Fourth of July fun that we chose in the big tent a couple miles from home.

I’ll just leave you with pictures of our weekend, including a perfect front-row view of our town’s fireworks and the gorgeous full moon on Saturday night.   And lest I forget, we rescued a turtle that Gary found in our flower bed.  😊

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And my favorite picture of all says it all!

 

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Magical and Maddening

“Aaron, look!!” I exclaimed one recent night as I closed our family room blinds.  Aaron walked over to join me at the window.  There, emerging from the grass in our front yard, were dozens of fireflies.  Lightning bugs, we called them where I grew up in West Virginia.

Aaron thought they were very cool!  He insisted that Gary come to the window as well, and so we stood there together for a minute, enjoying the sparkling little bugs.

A few nights later, Gary and I sat on our front porch after the stifling heat of the day had subsided somewhat.  It’s nice for us to enjoy a few moments of quietness and of being together, just the two of us without Aaron’s loud interruptions.  As dusk fell and darkness was encroaching, up from the grass once again came those beautiful fireflies.

It was captivating watching their glow, so many of them combining into a magical light show right in front of us.  So peaceful.

Then…BAM!!

Out on the porch rushed Aaron, who is rarely quiet.  There went the peacefulness of our front porch evening!

“MOM!!  Are we watching a Little House tonight?” he asked, knowing the answer.

I assured him that we would watch an episode, as always.

But, as always, that wasn’t enough for Aaron.

“When?” he asked.  “Can we do it now?”

I knew what was ahead but wanting to remain in the magic of firefly glow I told Aaron that I would let him know when I was ready.  This answer never suits Aaron.

One of the very hardest things for Aaron to do is to wait…on anything.  He especially finds it nearly impossible to wait on me to watch a program with him when HE is ready.  He escalates quickly into anger at those times, no matter what I say or how well I prepare him for the inevitable wait.  That night was no exception.

Our evening was quickly reverting from magical to maddening.

Such is often the life of a caregiver.

My blogging friend, Cheryl, is the author of a caregiving blog written out of her experiences as she cares for her husband who has Parkinson’s.  Our situations are very different but also very similar.  I have loved her insights and her godly wisdom.

In one recent blog…linked here… (https://parkinsonscaregivernet.wordpress.com/2020/06/13/similar-yet-different-but-really-similar/) – she wrote:

“But we live for the moments of joy: seeing our loved one smile, hearing them recount experiences from the past, watching them respond to family and friends, hearing them tell a favorite joke. Those moments may be brief, so we hold them sacred in our hearts and bring them to mind when the times are difficult. Another is the joy of knowing we are doing our best, that we are doing the right thing, that we are doing God’s work here on earth by caring for our loved one. Let’s not forget that, especially when the moments are difficult or uncomfortable.”

The difficult moments with Aaron often involve his autistic behaviors…his demands that life revolves around HIS order and expectations of how things are to be.  During those times, no one else’s desires or needs are considered by Aaron to have importance.

Maddening.

On our firefly night, we told Aaron that he needed to wait.  We tried to get him to  enjoy the magical lights in our front yard but he was blinded by his own frustrations and cared nothing for the beauty around him.  Only one thing mattered.  And he wanted that one thing NOW.

Anger intruded into our evening and stood on our front porch, as opposite in its effect as could possibly be when compared to the earlier joy of time together with Gary among the little sparkles in our yard.

Later, the anger was gone as Aaron and I watched our show.  Aaron is usually oblivious to the effect he has on us during those times as he brushes off the recent outburst and is happy in his bubble again, where all is well.

Oh, that it was so easy for me to do the same!

Like Cheryl said, though, it’s important to hold the moments of joy sacred in our hearts and in our memories.  And to know that we, as caregivers, are doing God’s work here on earth.

My heart this morning was heavy as I helped Aaron during his second seizure…knew that I would have bedding to wash later…canceled my hair appointment…and tried to still my worried heart about other matters.

I had finished my normal Bible study and so I opened my Bible randomly to see where my eyes fell.  I love doing that!  It’s like opening a treasure box that I just unearthed, excited to see what’s inside!

And look what God gave me!!

“But ask the beasts, and they will teach you; the birds of the heavens, and they will tell you; or the bushes of the earth, and they will teach you; and the fish of the sea will declare to you.  Who among all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this?  In His hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind.”  (Job 12:7-10)

It’s all in God’s hands!

Aaron…me…Gary…others I love…our world…

All life and breath is in God’s hand.  All of creation declares that truth!

Now it’s up to me to trust our loving God and to rest in His hand.  And to…most importantly…trust Aaron into His hand and know that God put Aaron into our lives for a purpose I may never know on this earth.

But may I trust God’s knowing.  Trust and know just as much as the beasts and the birds and the bushes trust and know Who has done all this!!

Fireflies know, too, I am sure.

Maybe that’s why they shine their magical lights for all to see!

May I do likewise.

Photo by National Wildlife Photo Contest entrant Radim Schreiber.

 

Aaron’s Talking Points #8

Time for more of Aaron’s comments that I’ve collected over the years!  😊

 

I just watched Aaron chow down 4 slices of taco pizza that I fixed. Then he said, “You know, Mom……….that wasn’t my favorite.” And it took you FOUR slices to figure this out, Aaron?!

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This week, Luke B has started the next part of our remodel. It did not go unnoticed by Aaron yesterday that the baseboards in the hall are gone. He charged into the room where I was, excited and bothered.

“MOM!!! Why is Luke digging up the bottom of our house?!!” 😅🧐

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I’m heating up leftovers for supper tonight. Aaron decided he wanted some Ravioli Lasagna.

The time was 4:36.

Me: Aaron, do you want me to heat up your Ravioli Lasagna now?

Aaron: No. It’s not 5:00.

Gary: Are you hungry?

Aaron: Yes. But it’s not 5:00.

😁😜⌚⏲

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Gary’s working on his truck mirrors. Aaron was outside talking to him (of course!), so when Aaron came inside, I asked him what Gary was doing. His answer?

“Dad’s working on his look-out mirrors!” 😅😅😅

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I ordered a game for Aaron yesterday. I told him it will arrive in a week or in 10 days. Today he said, “So it’ll arrive in a week or in 10 days, which is a week & 3 days. That’s all, right?” He must know the EXACT day. We’ll have this conversation for the next week or week & 3 days! If it doesn’t arrive on time, I may take a trip for a week or a week & 3 days – far away!

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Me, at 11:37: Aaron, do you want some lunch? Some pizza?

Aaron: No. It’s not 12:00. Don’t rush me!

🤣🤣🤣

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I told Aaron that Gary and I were going out tonight. His response: “OK. Scram.” He doesn’t waste words.

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I was trimming our big Rose of Sharon bushes while Gary worked on our bathroom remodel. Aaron was helping me put the limbs in a trash can. He could tell that I was getting tired, so he had an idea.

“Mom! You should take a break…and fix supper.” 😅😛

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Aaron had seizures night before last and into the day yesterday. He was slow and quiet and all the other things that go into a seizure day.

But today…total opposite for sure. He was out of bed way too early for me on a Saturday morning, but not for him!

“MOM!! I woke up at 7:59, but I stayed in bed till 8:00! Was that good to stay in bed till 8:00?!”

Let me think before I answer that, Aaron. 🤔😜

Trust me, I was trying to pull up all my sympathetic feelings from yesterday as he stood in front of me before 8:30, fully showered and dressed and mouth working overtime

He followed Gary around like a little puppy, talking about anything and everything.

“DAD!! Have you heard about…?”

“DAD!! Have you heard about…?”

Finally, Gary muttered something for only me to hear…something about motor mouth. But sharp-eared Aaron heard it.

“YEAH, DAD!! Have you heard about Mighty Mouse?!!”

😂😂😂

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Aaron, talking about someone who got pulled over for speeding (it wasn’t me!!): “He was supposed to be going the speeding of 30, but he was going faster than that!”

The moral of this story: Speed the speed limit!!

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Aaron asked me to fix him some apples. Then came the big decision about when to eat the apples. Finally, he had a plan.

“I know, Mom! I’ll watch Pirates of the Caribbean during my apples!” 😁😁

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Aaron had one seizure last night. When he only has one seizure instead of three or four, that’s when he seems prone to having the serious drop seizures that have caused injuries. I ran out this morning before Gary went to work and bought Aaron a helmet.

Aaron is staying home today to:

  1. See if he has anymore seizures.
  2. Participate in helmet training

So far, we have seen:

  1. No more seizures
  2. No helmet training participation

I have constructed a scientific formula based on our testing today.

Autism + Helmet = BIG FAT NO!!!!

Further testing and participation look doubtful. 🧐😟😬😝

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I’ve shared before about how Aaron has a very difficult time understanding and remembering family relationships. Remember when he was struggling with the fact that Andrea was going to marry Kyle? We told him that he wasn’t losing Andrea but instead would gain a brother. Then on a bad day, he responded, “I DON’T want Andrea to marry Kyle!! I don’t need a Grand-brother!!” 😄

So the other day, this happened:

“Mom, guess who picks up Chris at Paradigm? Sometimes his younger dad, and sometimes his grandfather!!” 😂👨‍🦰👴

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Aaron: Mom, do you want to play Skip-Bo?

Me: Mmmmm…..

Aaron: Do you want to?

Me: I don’t know.

Aaron: So do you want to play Skip-Bo?

Me: Mmmmm…..

Aaron: Do you want to?

Me: I’m thinking.

Aaron: Well, I wish your thinking would HURRY!!

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Home Again, Home Again!

Hello!  Remember me?  I really haven’t dropped off the edge of the earth, though I have felt like I’ve done just that at times.  Seems like forever since I have had anything resembling a normal routine!

My husband and I just returned from a wonderful week in Texas with our daughter and son-in-law.  Aaron stayed at home with a caregiver.  All the preparation for our trip, our usual busy days, and then being gone surely made it hard for me to blog or to read the blogs I follow.  Am I ever behind!!

But it was so worth it to be away for a WHOLE week…to have time with Gary, and with Andrea and Kyle.  We had hoped that our son, Andrew, could join us from Indiana but racing is getting ready to start again and the team has more work to do than seems possible to accomplish.

Gary and I truly relaxed while in Texas.  No sight seeing trips since many venues were still closed, so we spent tons of time together talking, cooking and eating, watching various shows and sermons, shopping, and so forth.

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And let’s not forget the fun of seeing our Grand Dogs, including meeting Siggy for the first time.

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Aries
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Darcy

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Oakley
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Siggy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We also got to see Siggy climbing his favorite tree!

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And the patio table!

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Andrea and I had lunch one day by the bay near their house.

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We celebrated my birthday there on the 18th.

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And Andrea’s as well since hers happens on the 27th.

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We celebrated Father’s Day with Kyle’s parents who came over for the day on Saturday.  How fun to see Kent and Marie, and to have both dads together!

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Gary and I don’t typically get to share our special days with our kids, so this time was really extra special and wonderful!

Aaron stayed at home with Karlea, our excellent caregiver.  Aaron really loves it when Gary and I are gone, and he doesn’t hide it one bit.  He loves all the one-on-one attention…loves going fun places…loves not having bossy parents around…and REALLY loves eating out at restaurants or getting take-out every day.  Aaron was having his own version of a vacation while we were having ours!

But yet, as he always does, Aaron called multiple times every day.  I didn’t answer each time but when I did I would hear Aaron usually say, “HEEEEYYYY!!”  Or say no greeting at all but instead launch into whatever he had stored up to tell me about.

“Hi, Aaron,” I would say as I answered the phone.

“Mom!  We went to Olive Garden today and we got a salad!!  What’s that juice that’s on it???” he immediately asked one day.

Karlea had plenty of laughs, too, like the day they ate at Cracker Barrel.  Aaron saw the deer mounted on the wall, rolled his eyes, and said, “I just can’t believe they took a real deer and put it in a restaurant!!”

I answered the phone for one of his calls on Saturday.

“Hi, Aaron,” I said as usual.

“GUESS WHAT???!!!” he blurted out.  “You’ll be home DAY AFTER TOMORROW!!”

Then he added:  “Karlea said we need to get the house stick and span!!”  😊  😊

So, we are home and life is returning to our version of normal.  Shortly before our trip, Aaron and I went shopping.  He had a seizure that morning, and I wasn’t sure he would feel up to going out.  But he did, and we had a nice time, which made me extra happy because of how his seizures sometimes ruin his days

When we got home and sat down to eat lunch, I asked Aaron to pray.

“Dear Lord,” he began, “thank You for this food and thank You for having us a good time while we were shopping.”

There went my heart.

“Dear Lord,” I will add, “thank You for our trip to Texas and thank You for having us a good time while we were there!”

And thank You for bringing us safely home again to Aaron.

To Ignore Aaron

Anyone who has been exposed to Aaron will no doubt agree on this:  Aaron is very hard to ignore!

Aaron is going to do what Aaron is going to do.  He is mostly unaware and uncaring of the reactions he generates from others.

Whether he is sitting in our front yard relaxing as he breaks apart the mulch:

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Or dressing in this hilarious “fashion” for all to see:

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Or deciding to pet Moe, our neighbor’s cat, on Moe’s level:

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There is generally no stopping Aaron from forging ahead with his version of living life to the fullest!

Aaron struggles with waiting on me to do an activity with him.  I often don’t tell him that we’re going somewhere, for instance, until shortly before we leave.  If I tell him that we’re going out, then he hovers and gets very impatient with me.  Best to just dash out the door quickly than to endure the anger that his impatience causes.

But some activities are set in stone, for the most part, and Aaron will begin his hovering when HE is ready for whatever that event is.  Every night we watch a program together.  Most often it’s a series that we are going through.  Right now we’re watching Little House on The Prairie.  Nearly every night Aaron will begin his impatient waiting for me to be ready to watch our next episode.  He will stand outside my bedroom or bathroom door, talking and questioning and getting angry if I don’t hurry.  One recent evening, I told him to NOT wait outside my door.  I was pleased that he obeyed, and I could get ready in peace and quiet.

But when I rounded the corner to go downstairs, here is what I saw:

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Oh Aaron!!  😊  😊

“I’m waiting on you to get ready!!!” he informed me.

And once again, Aaron was impossible to ignore.

When Aaron has crossed the line with his behaviors, though, one way to get my point across to him about his disobedience is to ignore him.  I become quiet and I barely answer his questions, if at all.  It’s hard for me to do that but I have learned that being ignored by me speaks more profoundly to Aaron than all the words in the world that I could use.  He knows he has really done wrong and that he must make it right.

Last week Aaron and I were in a store.  We were checking ourselves out when I ran into a problem and needed help.  When the attendant stepped around the corner to help me, I saw that it was someone I have come to know there.  Aaron knows her, as well.  This person has a hard life, and sometimes she is very down.  She doesn’t hide it, and when she approached me, I knew that she was having a bad day.  She didn’t engage me at all when I spoke to her.  I can handle that – no problem.

But Aaron doesn’t get those cues from people that you and I see.  He noticed that her hair was different and so when she walked away from me, he followed her.  When she stopped a short distance away, with Aaron at her back, he rubbed his hands together as he happily spoke to her.

“Your hair is short!!” he declared.

No response from her as she kept her back to Aaron.

“Your hair is short!!” he tried again.

Still no response.

I called Aaron back to me, telling him that she was busy, and he didn’t need to bother her today.  I knew he was confused, though, because typically she engages him with interest and kindness.

As for me…I was so angry.  For someone to dismiss and ignore Aaron has always been a very hard thing for me to handle.

I stayed pretty riled up about it for the rest of that day.  I talked to my husband and to my daughter about it later.  I stewed and brewed for quite some time.

But God, as He always does if I but listen, told me that I should not only pray about my reaction but that I should definitely pray for this sad person.

And that I should remember a verse from Psalm 37 that I had recently studied:

Cease from anger and forsake wrath; do not fret; it only leads to evildoing.”  (Psalm 37:8)

Do you know what the word “fret” means?  It means “to get burned up.”

And that’s exactly how I felt!  It burned me up to see Aaron being so blatantly ignored!

Yet what I needed to carry away from this situation wasn’t my load of anger, or my justification for it.  I needed to release my feelings to God and just put a stop to my desire to get even…to report her…to make a point.

Getting steamed about our hurts often leads to evildoing, as that verse says.  We certainly are seeing that in our country today!

How much better it is to talk to God about it, and to follow the example of Jesus…who, though reviled, did not strike back.

It’s a choice I am allowed by God to make.

Do I choose peace?  Or do I choose conflict?

It’s best to follow Aaron’s example, too.  He does bounce back quickly from his anger and hurt, most of the time, settling in to the next thing that captures his attention.

So, like Aaron, I’ll find and choose the joy…in whatever shape it takes.

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Aaron’s Talking Points #7

Here are more of Aaron’s comments that I have collected over the years.  Enjoy!

 

Aaron told me that the other night he had one of Andrea’s hairs on his toothbrush. “Mom, some of Andrea’s hair leaked onto the counter and got on my toothbrush!”

It’s a good thing he doesn’t keep his toothbrush in my bathroom because my head leaks lots of hairs!

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Aaron: Mom! Did you know there’s an OLD Robocop movie that was around when Dad was around?!

I didn’t tell Aaron, but I think Gary is still around. I’m running down now to check, though, just in case he knows something I don’t know.

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Aaron got a little choked during supper. His observation:

“I swallowed it down the wrong throat!”

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Aaron saw the news and pictures of the nuclear reactor fires in Japan. So he asked, “Mom, what are those ball buildings?”

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Aaron also saw a nuclear physicist being interviewed. This man had some wild gray hair, much like Einstein, so Aaron got excited and asked, “Mom!! Isn’t that the guy that invented…….oh, what was it?………H2O?”

Ummm….No, Aaron. Different formula. Same hair, though.

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Aaron and I were just watching the news. A special segment came on about Michael Jackson. Aaron said, “Hey, I know some of Michael’s dance moves. Want me to show you?”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Aaron is almost as concerned with the weather as he is with keeping correct times. When time and weather collide…well, hold on!!

Aaron asked me on Thursday night when it was going to rain, as he does nearly every night. I told him that we might get some storms over the weekend. Silly me.

Aaron: When will it storm?

Me: Maybe Sunday evening.

Aaron: When is evening?

And before I could form a reasonable answer:

Aaron: What time is evening?

And again before I could answer:

Aaron: Is evening lunch time?

Me: No, not lunch time. It’s…

Aaron: Is it supper time?

Me: YES!!!! It’s around supper time.

Aaron: So it will storm at 5:00?

AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

My plan is to keep a close eye on The Weather Channel, Weather Bug, MyRadar app, AccuWeather, KAKE Weather, KWCH Weather, and 101.3 storm chasers. At the first inkling of a storm here, we are eating supper. I don’t care what time it is, we will eat supper, people!!!!!! 🤣😬💦💨🌩️⛈️⚡

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Last night Aaron wasn’t sure that he wanted to wear green today. “I don’t want to look like a vegetable!” he said. Well, he had four seizures last night so he didn’t get to go to his day group today. I have been counting my blessings today, and one is for Aaron…..that he didn’t have to go out today looking like a vegetable!

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Aaron told me that today he was walking downtown with his group and saw a German restaurant. He looked in the window (poor patrons!) and said that he saw bottles of wine. “So Mom, is that what Germans like for food? Wine?!! Is that all they eat?”

Maybe we should go and check it out!!

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Every time Aaron and I go to Dillon’s he must, if possible, stop by the fresh fish and seafood display. He loves seeing the shrimp, the lobster, the crab legs, and anything else that’s there. Today there was a surprise! Two whole fish!! Aaron was so thrilled that he pushed himself in front of a little family as he exclaimed loudly:

“MOM!! LOOK!! He’s all fish!!!” 😂😂🐟

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Aaron: Mom! If I had a clone, it would be the same of me.

Me: That’s a great way to put it, Aaron!

Aaron: Would you want a clone of me?

Me: NO!! I mean, no.

Aaron: Why not?

Me: Because ONE OF YOU IS ENOUGH!!!

Aaron: OK.

He just walked off with no reaction. Oh, the tragedy of so much wasted sarcasm in this house!! 😆😆💙💙

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And we’ll have more of the same of these Aaron Talking Points!

Trust me!  😊  😊

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