Aaron’s Talking Points #12

It’s high time I shared more of Aaron’s fun (or sometimes not!) way of viewing his world. Enjoy!

I took my bracelet off in the van on our way to Aaron’s day group this morning because I didn’t think it matched the red in my blouse. Within three seconds of taking it off, Aaron had it on. When we pulled up to Paradigm, he jumped out of the van faster than greased lightning! He didn’t want me to make him take the bracelet off. Here’s the picture that Barb sent me. HaHa!

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Aaron was excited to tell me what he did today at Paradigm. It involved a Spangles hamburger, but he was also glad to help buy things for group homes at Sam’s.

Aaron: Mom!! Today I went to Sam’s with Amy!

Me: You did? What did you buy?

Aaron: Things for group homes. And we stayed a LONG time! Like til 1:09!!

Me: Really? It wasn’t 1:10?

Aaron: No!! It was 1:09!!

Me: Not 1:10?

Aaron: No! We stayed til 1:09.

This conversation never gets old and never ceases to make me laugh. 😁

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Aaron was talking about the drive home from his group today. “Mom, our driver missed the first two road spaces to our house!” Well, I guess turning off on the third road space was a charm because he made it home.

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Aaron was talking again yesterday about the girl in his group who likes him, so I told him to tell her that they could be friends without her having to be his girlfriend. Later he said, “Mom, I’m going to keep those words inside of me.” In other words, he doesn’t want to tell her that because he likes this situation! Oh boy!

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There was one piece of pizza left so I offered it to Aaron, although I asked him if he minded that I had taken a bite out of it. His reply: “Well, just so I don’t get your germs. I don’t want to become bossy!” Now I’m wondering who I caught MY bossiness from!

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Aaron was a little sad when I picked him up one day last week. It seems that his good friend was having a bad day…as many of the clients sometimes do, including Aaron…and she had hit Aaron. He talked and talked about it over the weekend.

He and I were in Dillon’s on Saturday, and we passed through the beautiful flowers in the florist area.

“MOM!!” Aaron blurted. “Can I get N some flowers because she hit me??”

At first, I laughed, but as I thought about it I realized what he was really saying. He wanted N to feel better, so he thought flowers should help. He was willing to give his friend something sweet even though she had been mean to him.

This sure has given me something to think about the last few days, and it’s not just that maybe if I hit Gary then he’ll bring me flowers. 😉 Aaron has focused my thinking far deeper than that, as he often does. 💕

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We got Aaron a new bed. It’s bigger than his old bed so we’ve cautioned him about bumping his legs on the end of it. He’s done very well with all the changes, including putting his night stand with all his “stuff” on it on the OTHER side of his new bed.

Tonight at supper, Gary asked Aaron how he slept last night.

“Good,” Aaron answered. “But the edge of that bed keeps hitting the edge of my leg!”

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Aaron: Mom, Jackson gassed. Can you smell it?

Me: No, I can’t smell it.

Aaron: I think you can smell nothing. I think something’s wrong with your nasals.

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Aaron’s EEG went well. I don’t know when we’ll get results. As we left on the elevator we wondered what time it was & so I quickly looked at Aaron’s wristwatch. I said, “Oh, it’s 10:45.” You know what’s coming, don’t you? Aaron then looked at his watch & said, “No. It’s 10:46.” I wonder if people could hear the laughter coming out of the elevator. And Aaron can’t figure out why on earth I think that’s funny!

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Aaron: “It’s cold! Does that mean it’s half-winter?” A new season has begun!

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Gary and I returned home after being away this weekend. Aaron was doing his usual talking, then paused as he remembered something important.

“MOM!! WAIT!! I got you something!!”

He ran up to his room and came back with a beautiful pouch that our friend Terri had helped him buy for me. Aaron was super excited as he handed it to me and said:

“MOM!! This is for you, but if you don’t want it then I can keep it!!!” 😁😁

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Aaron has been very happy that Gary and I were planning a trip to Topeka. “No parents!” he says. Yesterday he asked what time we were leaving, and I told him we were leaving at 3:00. “Can’t you leave early?” he asked. “Like 2:59?” 🙂

By the way, we left at 2:52. We showed him!

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Aaron and I are watching Rocketeer. When the girl hit the bad guy over the head with a vase, Aaron said, “She bonked him into sleep, right?” HaHa!

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Aaron saw a bowl of whole, uncapped strawberries on the kitchen counter and so he grabbed one to eat. He carried it over to me and said, “Mom, can you cut the flower off the top?”

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Aaron, watching Laura Ingalls at the fair on Little House on the Prairie as she tried unsuccessfully to find the coin under the shell: “She has UNLUCK!!” 😆😆

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Aaron pulled a muscle in his leg a few days ago. He’s been limping around but is better today. Still, it’s bothering him that this mysterious thing happened.

Aaron: Mom, I feel like I’m getting old!

Me: You’re not old!

Aaron: I’m 34!!!

Me: 35. You’re 35.

I’ve always had the gift of encouragement. 🤪😁😁

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Today our dear friend, Terri, spent some time with Aaron while Gary and I were out. They went to lunch, walked around a lake and saw ducks and geese and a snake, went to see Terri’s bird, and just had fun. Aaron totally enjoyed it. But as usual, Aaron has his own take on things.

Aaron: Mom, I don’t think Terri looks like the kind of woman who should be watching over me.

Me: What on earth do you mean?

Aaron: Well, she looks like a Grandma! 😅😅🤷‍♀‍

Terri, you meant it when you said you think Aaron’s funny, right?

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Aaron: “Mom, are cashews normal nuts?”

 Me: “What’s a normal nut?”

Aaron: “Nuts that aren’t cashews.”

 I need to sit awhile and think about this.

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Just awhile ago Aaron said, “Mom, someone in my group told me that eating pears will put hair on your chest. Is that true?”

Me: “Well, Aaron, I’ve eaten plenty of pears.”

Aaron: “But girls aren’t ALLOWED to have hair on their chests!”

I cannot tell you how relieved I am right now!

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Aaron and I are sitting on the front porch enjoying this beautiful evening. A neighbor that we don’t know real well came walking by with her dog. She spoke and I spoke, which Aaron saw as his wide-open door.

“HEY!!” he loudly yelled. “WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE VOLCANO??!!”

She was a trooper and answered him. while he vigorously rubbed his hands together, totally delighted.

He’s just hilarious!!! So random!! 🤣🤣

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I’ll be back with more another day, of that I am certain! 🙂 🙂

This Gift Has My Name on It!

Gary and I were sitting beside our decorated tree one night before Christmas.  We were not alone for long, as is so often the case.  Aaron soon joined us.  He was, of course, drawn to the presents under the tree.  His observant eyes had seen his name on a gift!

“Look!!” he exclaimed, “this gift has my name on it!” 

His childish delight made us smile.

His childish delight is, in fact, a gift to us.

Yet there are other aspects of who Aaron is that we would not describe as a gift.  Maybe more as a burden?  An annoyance? 

We know that God gave us Aaron, and he is indeed the whole package.  It’s just that some of the contents of that package are not what we would have hand-picked. 

Am I being too blunt here?

This reality of God’s gifts to me carries over into every area of my life.  Gary and I had been married for five years before we had a baby…Aaron.  We prayed for a baby.  God gave us Aaron.

Do I really trust God in this answer to our prayers?

So many times in my life I have prayed over some matter…some decision…some issue.  But sometimes God’s answers are not what I would have chosen.

Oh, they may seem wonderful at the time but later the gift might turn sour. 

What happened?

How easy it is, then, to play the guessing game.

Maybe if we had moved there instead of here.

Maybe if we had joined that church instead of this church.

Maybe if we had raised our children in this way instead of that way.

Maybe…maybe…maybe.

Yet if I am walking with God in obedience, and I am praying for direction, I must trust that the way He leads is best and for a reason.

Good reasons, always.

But not always easy.

I must reach out and take God’s gifts to me with trust.

The children of Israel knew that God led them miraculously out of Egypt.  No one could doubt that.  But then it wasn’t long before they disobeyed God.  Even the manna God provided to them became a source of discontentment and complaint. 

Soon the Israelites were comparing their present lot with the life they used to have in Egypt, creating more unhappiness and grumbling.

I do that, too.  I pray…I take God’s gift of an answer…and then when things get hard, I fight the tendency to complain and to compare.

If only I had what they have…lived where they live…got to go where they go…blah, blah, blah.

Such a trap!

This morning, I read the answer to this dilemma in my life:

“Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; and let those who love Your salvation say continually, ‘Let God by magnified.’  (Psalm 70:4)

I must keep my eyes on God in every area of my life. 

My gladness and contentment is in God alone, not in the events of my life – good or not so good.

So, when I reach out and take God’s gifts to me, may I not focus on the gift so much but instead may my eyes stay on the Giver of the gifts. 

That’s easy to do when the gift is fun and happy.

But I must understand that some gifts are not fun and happy.  Some are hard and sad. 

Yet on each gift, I see the tag.

To:  Patty

From:  God

Thank you, God, that every gift from You is good and perfect.  You didn’t say they were easy and fun. 

Help me to trust You.

“Look!  This gift has my name on it!!”

Our Thanksgiving

I don’t know if I’ll ever catch up with my blogging.  I’m so far behind that I haven’t even shared Aaron’s birthday pictures, and his birthday was nearly a month ago!  Oh well.  Life is busy and full, plus I just think I’m not as quick in many ways as I used to be. 

Enough of that!

I last wrote about Aaron’s increased seizures, and our son’s COVID diagnosis.  Thankfully, Aaron hasn’t had a single seizure that we’ve heard since that blog!

 Andrew has recovered from COVID and is exploring job opportunities since his racing furlough. 

Our trip to Texas for Thanksgiving went well.  Not perfectly smooth, but then is that ever the case?  God blessed us with safety and mostly good health and lots of sweet memories.  I’ll share those memories with pictures galore, so here we go!

Kyle and Andrea’s house was so warmly decorated for Christmas! 

Aaron did plenty of talking, as always!

And lots of laying on the floor petting these cuties.

Not the sock, Siggy!

He was pleased as punch to give Andrea the Thanksgiving picture he had colored for her.

And very surprised to receive a gift from Andrea’s boss at MD Anderson, who has taken a special and very kind interest in Aaron.

Our Thanksgiving Day was spent at the home of Kyle’s parents, Kent and Marie.  What a beautiful home and hospitality! 

Kyle loves goofy faces!

Aaron was nervous and sometimes grouchy in these new surroundings but soon he found his comfort zone – adorable Jax and Jill!

We are thankful for time together with family and friends.  Thankful, too, for all of God’s precious blessings, and for His comfort when we missed those not with us. 

May each of you be especially blessed as we remember God’s goodness, especially His great love that we next celebrate at Christmas.

Thanksgiving!

I want to wish each of you a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving! 

We made it to Houston!

I just wanted to share with you a picture of Aaron with his sister, Andrea.  Aaron colored that picture in his day group and was very happy to give it to Andrea.

I wish you all a very blessed day in whatever form it takes. 

May we all remember to count our blessings and keep our minds on the Giver of them all. 

Our Man Kid

A couple weeks ago I was talking to our daughter on the phone.  Almost always, when she and I are on the phone, Aaron will come bounding up to me and without lowering his voice he will ask if that’s Andrea.  I shake my head yes and so the hovering begins as he waits for HIS turn to talk to Andrea.  I finally let him have his time, knowing that if I don’t he will most likely linger close by until I do.

“ANDREA!!” he begins.  “Guess what game I’m playing now?!” 

And he’s off, talking about everything under the sun that has to do with his world.  He never asks about her life or how she’s doing.  Never.  But she understands that about her brother.  She laughs with him and talks to him about all his games and movies and answers his unusual questions about unusual things as seriously as if she’s talking to a lab manager about the proper way to conduct a molecular test. 

A couple weeks ago, she and I were talking about how Aaron is and how he must appear to others.  His conversations, his approach to life, his characteristics that others observe when they first see Aaron or if they know Aaron well…everything that makes Aaron who Aaron is.  Andrea said that he really is just a kid in a man’s body.

Then later that same evening, Aaron and I were talking to a neighbor and her young son out on our driveway.  This little boy just looked up at Aaron as Aaron went on and on about whatever.  Aaron was talking rather loudly, as usual, and all the time he talked he kept working his fingers together the way that he does. 

Finally, our young friend was able to get a word in…a question, actually.   

“Are you a man kid?” he asked Aaron.

That question went completely over Aaron’s head as he just barreled on with his topic of interest at that moment.

But it stopped me in my tracks. 

“What a perfect way to describe him!” I quietly told his mother. 

And how interesting that Andrea and I had said that same thing, yet not as precisely, just that afternoon.

A man kid. 

There stands Aaron, looking every bit like a man…and he is.  He has a man’s voice, a man’s physique, a man’s facial hair, and even a man’s balding head.  😊

But he acts so much like a kid!  And to other kids I know it’s a process to try to figure Aaron out.  We’re so used to him that we don’t often mentally step back and think of how it must be for children to understand Aaron.

Tomorrow is Aaron’s birthday.  Our son, who is a man, turns 36 tomorrow!

Our son, who is a kid, is exuberantly excited about his birthday.  He always is, every single year. 

If you ask him how old he will be, he pauses as he tries to remember his new age.  That number of “36” means nothing to him.

But oh, his birthday means everything to him.  Just ask our neighbors, some from around our circle that we don’t really know.  If Aaron is outside and he sees someone walking by, he briskly heads to the street.

“HEY!!” he yelled the other day to a couple of ladies.  “It’s almost my birthday!!”

They laughed and congratulated him as they went on their way.

And our man kid stood there rubbing his hands together in delight, with his deep chuckle bubbling up, his sweater flapping in the breeze, and joy all over his face.

Remembering that Aaron is a man kid helps us enjoy him.

But more importantly, it helps us understand him…and understanding Aaron is crucial in how we live with him and deal with him.

Happy Birthday, Aaron!! 

We love you, man kid!!

Aaron’s Talking Points #11

Here are more of Aaron’s sayings, collected over the years. Have fun reading!

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Aaron and I finished our Skip-Bo game. I reached out to get some cards that he was handing me.

Aaron: Your hands are skinny……

And all I heard was the word “skinny.” Something on me was identified as skinny??!!

Aaron (continuing): …..like an alien.

Hmmmmm.

I’ll take it!

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While talking about his group this morning, Aaron said, “Mom, a girl there likes me. I would put it as she doesn’t love me but she likes me.”

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Aaron drinks water or other beverages like he’s in a contest to see who can down his drink the fastest. He turns it up, chug-a-lugs, and down it goes. He even drinks his coffee that way, once it cools, which is a total travesty. We’re always telling him to slow down…savor each sip…taste each swallow.

Today I fixed him some hot tea that he wanted. He came downstairs later, cup empty, and gave me this report:

“Mom! I was not drinking all of it. I was just drinking PARTS of it!”

In other words, he SIPPED his tea! But as usual, his description is far more interesting than ours. 😁🥃☕🥛

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Oh, silly people who call this little round thing a coaster. Aaron told me the correct name last night.

This is a drink plate.

Got it?

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Aaron was telling me all about the chicken in the deli at Dillon’s.

“They have fried chicken. They have that chicken with no bones. And they have pop-tart chicken!”

Um, that would be popcorn chicken, Aaron. But with pop-tart chicken you could have breakfast and lunch in one!

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Aaron and I were talking about how some people do bad things, and that the color of a person’s skin doesn’t make them bad or not bad. He thought a minute and then said, “So not a person’s skin or their species makes them bad?”

Species? Let’s start over.

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Yesterday Aaron and I were listening to Zac Brown.

Zac Brown: …and if you say that I’m too late, I’ll curl up and die in misery.

Aaron laughed and laughed.

Me: Why are you laughing at that?

Aaron: He said he would curl up by Miss Ugly!!

I’m afraid I let this life lesson pass right by as we both dissolved in laughter. 🤪😂😂

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Aaron had a seizure last night. Just one, but is he ever wired this morning! He was out of bed very early and has talked pretty well nonstop. He considered playing a game on his computer, but I reminded him that this is not a good idea after having a seizure.

Me: Aaron, you know that playing a game might get your brain too riled up.

Aaron: So a game might make me wild up?

I didn’t tell Aaron, but I actually think it’s too late to stop that! 🤪♥️♥️

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In Wal-Mart today, Aaron’s eyes latched on to a display of colorful, adorable, stuffed pigs. He instantly latched on to the brightest one there. He had me when he said, “Can I own him?” 😃

Aaron may be our adult son, but sometimes he’s just still so cute and dear. ❤️

And he now owns a very bright pig!

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I was frustrated with Aaron today when I picked him up from his day group because he told me he had given some of his money away to a friend. We work and work to make him stop giving away his money, but still he sometimes does this.

So, I gave him the lecture.

Then I gave a big sigh.

Aaron: Mom, don’t fight and don’t breathe!

Well, I guess if I quit breathing then I would also quit fighting. 😜🤔

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Since Gary and I got home from Houston, and after all of Aaron’s weekend seizures, he’s been telling us that his legs are weak. Finally, yesterday, he got it figured out.

“Mom, I think those six seizures stiffed my legs!!”

I want to show I’m sorry about his legs, but it sure is hard not to laugh at his wonderful way with words.

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Aaron and I got home from eating lunch out (at last!!), and then running several errands. He was very compliant with staying near me while we were out, using hand sanitizer at the air base before we could enter, and only walking one way up and down the store aisles. 🙄

Soon after we were home, he wanted a piece of cake that we made the other day, so I told him to wash his hands. He finally showed his frustration.

“Is that a government law??” he asked with disdain.

I assured him it was Mom’s law and he REALLY better obey that one!! 😂😂

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Andrea got me some beautiful roses and there are some ferns mixed in. Aaron saw pieces of the ferns that had fallen on the table and asked what they were. “Mom, I thought your hair was shredding on the table.” I hope not. I have enough hair problems without adding shredded hair to the list!

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Aaron: “So are you getting something special since it’s your Mother’s Day?”

I walked over to him, put my arm around him and said, “Well, a hug is special.”

Aaron: “I was talking about food!!”

Ah, if Mom gets special food then Aaron might get special food. Smart boy!

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Gary took Aaron out today, and when they came home, in walked Aaron with his arms full of candy and cookies and a really fun card for me.

Aaron: Here, Mom! These are for you.

Me: Wow, Aaron! Thank you so much!!

Then I decided to tease him a little.

Me: So, do I have to share these with you?

Aaron: No. I don’t like any of them.

And off he walked.

Never underestimate Aaron’s honesty and clarity. 😀😀

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‘Til next time! And trust me, there WILL be a next time! 🙂

My Lot in Life

Having Aaron still live at home with us can present challenges in various ways.  One issue that Gary and I face is, at times, trying to have a prolonged conversation with just the two of us.  It’s amazing how often we have the following scenario:

I walk down to Gary’s study and sit in the rocker.  Aaron is safely WAY up on the third floor, in his room, absorbed in a game or a movie.  But somehow, someway, it’s as if the tiniest sound of our voices reaches Aaron’s ears even through his earbuds.  Soon we hear the unmistakable THUMP THUMP THUMP of his heavy footsteps coming down first one set of stairs and then the second set of stairs.  Gary and I look at each other in resignation as Aaron charges into the study.  “MOM!!! (or DAD!!!),” Aaron bellows.  “Did you know that the core of the earth is HOT?!!  Why is the core of the earth hot?  Can we go to the core?  Would you like to go to the core of the earth??”  Aaron doesn’t notice the lack of interest on our faces or hear our sighs.  “No, Aaron,” I (or Gary) reply, “we don’t want to go the core of the earth.”  (Although that thought might be attractive at the moment in order to afford us some privacy!).  “Why not?!!” Aaron asks.  So we tell him that we will talk about this later and we tell him to go back to his room and ponder the core of the earth a bit more and we wait for him to leave before we try to resume our conversation.

I have been known to say, more than once, something to this effect: “You know, it seems to be our lot in life that we can hardly have a private conversation.”  Gary and I laugh as we both agree with this truth in our lives.

However, there are times that referring to my lot in life can take on a more serious tone and one that is defeating.  I may not even verbalize my thoughts.  That thought may be fleeting or if I’m not careful, may take root in my mind. 

My “lot in life” may be an ongoing situation, such as having our adult special needs son still living with us and facing all the challenges that brings. 

My “lot in life” may be a sudden situation that intrudes into my peaceful life.  We all have them.  Health, finances, children situations, jobs…

There is a truth that I must remember when my mind travels to considering my “lot in life.”  That phrase conjures up a roll of the dice…the hand I was given…good or bad luck.

Each of those concepts go totally against my walk with God.  As a follower of Christ my life is not controlled by luck or how my stars are aligned or any such nonsense. 

Here’s how David put it:

“The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; You hold my lot.”   

(Psalm 16:5)

My life’s circumstances are not controlled by chance but are designed by God for me.

God is providentially ordering my life. 

And He is doing the same for yours if you are His child and are following Him.

Therefore, I can…I SHOULD…be content with God’s design of my life.  Even the very hard parts that bring tears and fears.

One more thing.  My “lot in life” is not your “lot in life.”  And your “lot in life” is not my “lot in life.”

When I go to comparing my life to yours then I will inevitably be either discouraged or boastful…and both of those attitudes are terribly wrong.

Again, David said it well:

“I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.”  (Psalm 16:8)

God is to be my point of reference.  He is the answer to all my questions.

God is the One Who has given me my “lot in life.”

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP

Such a Fun Fall Day!

Gary and I had such a fun day yesterday with Aaron! 

The day didn’t start out with great fun, however, as Aaron had a doctor appointment.  He doesn’t usually mind the actual appointment, but that little side trek to take blood wasn’t what I would call fun. 

I’m so thankful that Aaron handles blood draws with calmness, though.  What a blessing that has always been!

In the afternoon, Gary and I took Aaron down to Klausmeyer Farms.  The fall day was perfect for outdoor fun! 

There were plenty of photo opportunities.

And the corn maze! 

We let Aaron lead.  He at first was hesitant about that, but then totally enjoyed it.  He would laugh and laugh when he came to a dead end and had to turn around.

He loved petting the animals, of course. 

And we ended our time there with a visit to the pumpkin patch, where Aaron found a large pumpkin which he is all too eager to carve. 

A big meal at Texas Roadhouse was the perfect ending to our fun day with Aaron.  As we ate, Aaron talked about his happy day.

“The pumpkin patch enjoyed me!” he exclaimed loudly.

Gary and I smiled at his wording.

We enjoyed you, too, Aaron! 

THIS much!

It Was a Trip!

Well, we are home from our trip to Gary’s beautiful Smoky Mountain hometown.  Days have been busy as we settle in, with Gary and I getting ready for another trip next week…this one without Aaron…so time is short for all the writing I would love to do.

As many of you know, our trek home was to help Gary’s sister, Sandra, when she returned home from having knee replacement surgery.  So, in a sense this was a working trip, and one that we are very thankful we could take.  A big thanks, as well, to all of you who were praying for us and for Sandra!

We brought Aaron with us, much against his desires…and at times, our better judgment.  😊  But we know that he needs to travel some with us, and that this will occur more now that Gary is retired.  Plus, family wants to see Aaron, even if Aaron is less than enthusiastic.

There is so much about traveling that is a struggle for Aaron, but the biggest issue is his autistic need to have his life in just a certain order.  Sorting and packing and stuffing things in a car is NOT Aaron’s definition of order.  I work hard to have his DVDs in one tote…his music CDs in another…his snacks in a snack bag…his sweater…his Handy Answer Garden Book…his computer that Gary packed in a box…  You get the picture.

Aaron does not.

We had already decided to take his stuffed snake and his very most favorite blanket.  Yet on the morning we were leaving, downstairs he came carrying a game system that did not even work properly and that he never uses.  And two extra Handy Answer books that I knew he would not touch.  These became his hill to die on.  No amount of persuasion worked to make him relinquish these suddenly all-important items, so in the car they were also crammed and away we drove. 

Gary and I were exhausted before we had even left our circle.

Aaron settled in his seat behind us, alternating mostly between watching a movie or listening to music, whooping or clapping way too loudly until we objected loudly and he quietened down until his next burst of excitement.  We saw cows and horses and sheep and rivers and lakes and interesting buildings.  But the buildings that Aaron loved most were ones where we stopped for gas, for inside those buildings were LOTS of snacks he did not have in his snack bag and slushies and hot dogs and all sorts of other possibilities. 

I had packed separate bags for our hotel stay that first night in order not to lug in all our heavy luggage.  Of course, Aaron’s arms became full of his two extra Handy Answer books that he did not need in the hotel room and his blanket that MUST go on his bed. 

Sigh.

Later, after a frustrating dinner at a REAL restaurant – as Aaron calls it – we were in our hotel room for the night.  The two Handy Answer books were on a table not to be touched again until they were carried to the car the next morning. 

And Aaron was snug in his bed reading his Handy Answer Garden Book with his blanket on top as it always is and always should be. 

This blog would be way too long if I included details of everything.  I’ll try to be brief by saying that Aaron really did do amazingly well considering all he had to handle.  He was bossy at times, but we knew he was just trying to control his surroundings.  It’s actually very interesting to watch but requires us to pull back and observe without our frustrations obscuring our view. 

We got to Sandra’s house the night before she came home from the hospital, so we had time to get situated and organized.  Gary got Aaron’s computer hooked up on the desk in his bedroom he used.  I got all his other things put in place…his star lamp we had packed, his Handy Answer Garden book within reach of his bed, his other two Handy Answer books off to the side to remain untouched, his music and his movies, his monitor on the nightstand, and finally his blanket on his bed just right. 

I got my part of the monitor plugged in and like we always do at night, I pushed the talk button and told him good-night one more time.  Getting everything all set up and plugged in was a bit of a challenge, so when I told Aaron good night I added:

“We’re up and running, Aaron!”

Aaron:  No, I’m not.

Me:  You’re not what?

Aaron:  I’m not up and running, I’m in bed.

A laugh was a great way to end the day!    😅😅😅

It was a blessing to be there to help Sandra, who is doing very well in her healing and progressing with her walking.  We got to spend time with lots of other family, which was wonderful!

Like I said, Aaron had so much change to handle and all of us were proud of how well he did.  All of us, too, were recipients of his anger and frustration that at times got the best of him. 

One evening Aaron was upset and very out of sorts.  Nothing calmed him and no one could reason with him.  But the person who helped him the most didn’t even realize that he held the key which set Aaron back on the right track.  Gary’s cousin, Bob, let Aaron talk about Star Wars this and Star Wars that.  Bob listened and commented and asked questions, and Aaron slipped back into his happy place where he is at home though he was not at home.  Aaron needed familiarity and having someone let him talk about a subject that was so out-of-place for all of us but Aaron was exactly the solution to ease his unsettled mind.

The last day and a half were particularly rough.  Aaron was done.  He was overloaded and spent and just so ready to go home.  He didn’t want to come out of his room.  He lay in his bed with the covers pulled over his head.  When he did emerge, he was defiant and angry. 

He focused his anger on Sandra.  I felt so badly for her. 

Sandra was his target because he knew we had come to help her, so in his mind his misery was her fault.  Nothing could dissuade him from that skewed perspective. 

My brother and sister-in-law came that night to visit, and somehow their attention…and their gift of a West Virginia Mountaineer cap that Aaron loves!…broke the angry cycle.  Jeanie’s great interest in those Handy Answer Books sealed the deal!

The next morning, we re-stuffed the car and said our goodbyes.  Aaron was happy as he could be, of course, as you can see in this picture with his Aunt Sandra and Aunt Mary Leah.

We soaked in the beautiful views as we drove away through those gorgeous mountains.

We smiled at Aaron wearing his ever-present sweater at a rest stop, no matter the warm temperature.

Now Aaron is home where he belongs.  Home where he is once again finding something else unique in the produce section at Dillon’s.

Home where he can settle in to watch a show with Mom and eat his snacks, with his blanket over him as it should be.

We’ll let the dust settle before we mention a possible Thanksgiving trip! 

So Many Changes!

Hasn’t this been a year of change?  My goodness, all of us are suffering from whiplash when we think of how quickly we’ve been hit with change across the board, in every area of our lives. 

When I fine-tune my vision and focus on our little family in our own little world, I see how all these changes…and other more personal ones…have affected us a lot.  Gary and I don’t just have ourselves to consider, of course.  For us as parents, certainly, we always look at how change is affecting our children.  It doesn’t matter that Andrea and Kyle, and Andrew, all live far away.  We still ponder and pray every day about their lives and what impacts them.

Here at home, though, we are the most affected by how changes in life hit Aaron.  Trust me, the word “hit” is appropriate when speaking of Aaron and change.  Sometimes Gary and I don’t quite know what hit us when change hits Aaron.

Aaron has handled COVID issues very well, for the most part.  He’s still thoroughly sick of it, pardon the pun.  Yet he wears his mask well in public and has adjusted to this new way of living much better than some I know.  I’m very proud of him for that.

His day group opened the first part of July and things have gone well until recently, when several clients tested positive for the virus.  The day center has been closed now for over two weeks.  Aaron doesn’t mind that one bit because he loves staying home.  Our quarantine is over, and he and we are fine, but the center is still closed.

We’ve still been able to enjoy walks outside, exploring some new areas and appreciating the familiar ones.

Petting Moe, our neighbor’s cat:

And loving some time on our friend’s farm:

Besides all the COVID stuff going on, we’ve also had personal changes in our life.  Gary retired this past summer and we wondered how that would affect Aaron, but he’s adjusted beautifully and really enjoys having Gary home all the time.  I mean, now Aaron has another set of ears to listen to all his talk…and what’s not to like about that?!

We’ve had more remodeling done, including…and MOST importantly…Aaron’s room.  Aaron struggled with moving into his brother’s old bedroom.  He oversaw Gary and I as we moved his desk and computer to its new and temporary location, complaining like an old man about it…hovering and huffing a LOT!  He soon realized that his desk chair didn’t move so well on the new hard floor with no carpet, so he bemoaned the fact that his carpet was soon to be a thing of the past.  He tried to urge Luke and Noah, our remodeling team, to NOT take out his carpet but to no avail.  He also spoke to them about all the noise they were making and to please NOT turn off the electricity again!! 

He is now back in his own bedroom, with the hard floor and with his furniture rearranged.  Hey, if we’re pushing Aaron to adjust why not try even MORE new things, right?!  He’s just happy to be in his own bed again and in his own room, so this further stretch for him is being tolerated well.

Success!

Except for our latest change.  Gary and I are taking Aaron with us on a trip back east.  We’re going to Gary’s hometown in the Smoky Mountains of North Carolina to help his sister after her knee replacement surgery.  AND…we’re taking Aaron with us.

Aaron would rather stay home, in his own house and his own room, even though we did put that hard floor in there!

Aaron loves Aunt Sandra and will talk her ear off on the phone, but Aaron loves being home even more.  It’s been a push to get him to settle down about this grand plan of traveling again.  Gary and I have had to be firm.  I’ve told Sandra to put on her thick skin. 

Aaron wanted to talk to Barb, Paradigm manager and Aaron’s second mom, about all this trip business.  She facetimed with him yesterday and it was so sweet.  She helped tremendously!  We may be doing that again from North Carolina!

We leave in the morning.  Our vehicle will be full of Aaron’s CD’s, DVD’s, blanket, pillow, books, food, drinks, his computer, Nintendo and games, and his stuffed snake. 

He is comforted in knowing that tomorrow night we will stop to stay in a hotel and best of all, we will eat out in a real restaurant. 

Gary and I would be comforted in knowing that as you think of us, you would pray for safety…for Sandra’s knee surgery to go well…and for Aaron to have a great time and to be happy. 

We hope to see lots of happy smiles just like this!  Thank you for praying!