Month: February 2022

When I Don’t Understand

Years ago, in 2008, God put Gary and I on a very difficult life path.  I say that God put us on that path because Gary and I fully know and trust that God does direct our steps when we are living in obedience to Him.

The situation was very hard for us.  We were still in the phase of hurt and grief some weeks later when we went out of town for a few days.  There in our hotel room, as Gary was studying for his upcoming Sunday School class, I opened my Bible and found myself looking at Isaiah 40. 

I began reading.  Soon I was pulled into what Isaiah was sharing about almighty God, the God that I know and love.  I continued into chapter 41, feeling God’s Word wash over my wounded and tired heart. 

Did God give answers to our situation in these verses?

No.

But what God did do was to draw my eyes to Him…to Who He is…and off what was clamoring for my focus all around me.

It was very easy during those days…and still is, honestly…to look at the clutter of hurtful events and let that be where my eyes stayed. 

But Isaiah’s words pulled my eyes away from that clutter and shifted me instead to God Himself.

I am so burdened right now about the horrible things happening right now in Ukraine.  We all are. 

Why, God, are you allowing this to happen?

Where are You?!

I have been reading and pondering again through these Isaiah chapters.  I have no answers for the situation that God is somehow allowing in Ukraine. 

But I do know that God is the One Who measured out earth’s waters in the hollow of His hand.  He spread out and adjusted the heavens with His fingers, weighed out the mountains, sits above the circle of the earth, and sees earth’s inhabitants as grasshoppers. 

God created the stars, leads them forth by number, calls them all by name, and because of His might and power not one of them is missing.

“So why, Jacob,” God asks, “do you say your way is hidden from God and the justice you are due escapes My notice?”

This God of Jacob is our God today!  He is one and the same, never changing in His love for each of us.  

But I believe that many of us want to ask Him the same about Ukraine. 

God, do You care?  Is the horror in Ukraine hidden from You?  Where is the justice?

Alec Motyer says:  “…our inability to discern does not mean that no discernment is at work; our inability to see point or purpose does not mean there is no point or purpose.  The more we exalt the greatness of our God, the more we learn to appreciate our smallness, weakness, incapacity.  We need to learn not to fret and fume; we need to accept our limitations of knowledge, wisdom, and foresight.  Or, as Isaiah tells us, we need to practice waiting for the Lord.  Waiting is looking.”

And as we wait on the Lord…as we look to almighty God…we pray for all those who are suffering so much right now. 

            “Have you not known?  Have you not heard?

            The Lord is the everlasting God,

            The creator of the ends of the earth.

            He does not faint or grow weary;

            His understanding is unsearchable.

            He gives power to the faint,

            And to him who has no might he increases strength.

            Even youths shall faint and be weary,

            And young men shall fall exhausted;

            But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;

            They shall mount up with wings like eagles;

            They shall run and not be weary;

            They shall walk and not faint.”   (Isaiah 40:28-31)

All I know to do is to push away the clutter of my own thoughts…keep my eyes focused on almighty God…and pray for the precious people of Ukraine to be able to do the same.

Here’s A Rose!

Once again, this year our friend Jody at our local Dillon’s store made sure that Aaron had a box of beautiful red roses to take to his day group on Valentine’s Day.  And this year, unlike last year, Aaron did stay at Paradigm (his day group) all day.  Special days are hard for Aaron – too many expectations on a day full of a party atmosphere.  It all drives Aaron a little crazy. 

My favorite picture of the morning was Aaron’s sheer delight after giving a rose to Antoine, one of his favorite staff. 

Antoine takes Aaron to QuikTrip on most days.  He is so very patient and understanding with Aaron, even when Aaron’s exuberance is a bit much. 

I captured pictures of Aaron giving a rose to Barb, our dear friend in so many ways.

And to Victoria, his very special friend.

Last week Jody saw to it that Aaron and I also had roses to hand out to our Meals on Wheels clients.  Look at the loveliness!

Aaron enjoyed taking a rose to each door and handing one to each of our sweet clients. 

I relish seeing the way Aaron loves giving those roses away.  These are memories tucked happily into my heart. 

Thank you to Jody and to Dillon’s for making those two fun days possible.  The kindness shown and the memories made are truly priceless!

The Special Quarter

I had taken Aaron in for his physical at the air base, which in itself is full of interesting Aaron moments. 

Here’s one:  He was very worried that he would need to give a urine sample, which he completely does not want to do.  We walked up to the counter at the Immunization Clinic to sign him in for a TB test.  I always try hard to be the first one at these windows in order to spare the poor airmen from Aaron’s loudly blurted and random comments or questions.  I indeed was in front of Aaron but this in no way deters Aaron.  As I signed him in and explained what we needed, Aaron pushed his head around the side of the window.

“DO I NEED TO PEE HERE??!!” he loudly and nervously asked.

I have to say that the look on the faces of the two airmen in the clinic was priceless.  I have no idea about the look on my face, but on Aaron’s was a look of panic.  I explained to the airmen as best I could while I tried to calm Aaron and sign him in on the clipboard.  And Aaron continued to ask his question over and over, bless him. 

Most people who encounter Aaron are treated to an impromptu lesson in special needs.  Like the lady yesterday at Wal-Mart in the produce section…the one that Aaron followed as he asked her if she liked cabbage because we were buying cabbage and he just HAD to know if she liked cabbage and why did she like cabbage…  All while I was calling to Aaron to come with me and trying to distract him from his quest to discover if this woman liked cabbage like we like cabbage.

And the dear cashier, who had to answer lots of questions from Aaron and listen to his commentary.  Do you like chocolate cake?  Do you like chocolate icing on your chocolate cake?  Guess what we’re having for supper?  Steak!  Do you like steak?  What kind of steak do you like?  I like boneless.  Do you like boneless?  Mom, what kind of steak are we having…….

Outings with Aaron, of whatever kind, often leave me with a variety of emotions.  Humor.  Embarrassment.  Frustration.  Joy.  Relief…when it’s over!  But mostly, I really do love my times with Aaron, stressful as some situations are. 

After his physical, we went to Jose’ Pepper’s to eat.  His favorite thing to do in all the world is to eat out.  And when he has gotten to know a server, like Emily at Jose’ Pepper’s, then his fun is doubled.  He walked in the door laughing and rubbing his hands together, oblivious to any stares from others.  He immediately spied Emily and he was off, trying to talk to her as the hostess was trying to figure all this out and get us seated, and I was trying to calm and quieten Aaron, and Emily was smiling broadly. 

We do make an entrance.

We were nearly through with our meals when Aaron spied something on the floor beside us.  I followed his gaze as he leaned out of our booth for a closer look.  There on the cement floor was a quarter.  Aaron was out of the booth in a flash!  He picked up his great find and proceeded to examine it closely.

“MOM!!” he very excitedly said, “it’s a state quarter!!  It’s HAWAII!!”

He was beyond happy at this treasure that had been laying right there on the floor for who knows how long.  Look at his wonderful smile.

He did not have a Hawaii quarter.  It is now safely in its place in his state quarter folder. 

For that day, for that moment, Aaron had found a priceless gem.

And I thought, as I watched him so full of delight at something that would be less than impressive to most of us, how this moment is so like my life with Aaron.

Do I focus on the routine life we have?  Do I see him through eyes of frustration or embarrassment?  Yes, I often do.

But I CAN make the choice to view him as a real gem, full of his uniqueness and spontaneity.  Sure, he can be aggravating and especially embarrassing in public, but how funny he is!  How refreshing…sometimes.  😊 

How full of lessons for Gary and for me, and hopefully for many others who encounter him. 

So, when we are walking to our car after our excursions, and I take a deep breath in order to settle my mind and calm my nerves, may I also use that same breath to thank God for the special treasure that He has given me right beside me in this life. 

And may others who bump into Aaron in the produce aisle, the check-in counter, the check-out lane, the restaurant…wherever we are…realize that there are many walking among us who are very special indeed!

What a gift it is to find them!

Tearing Our House Down

We had a very busy last few weeks of 2021, and an exciting beginning of 2022.

After several months of planning with our contractor and prepping the house…and ourselves…our big main level renovation is well underway.  We just finished up week number three!

Aaron is not a fan of upheaval of any kind.  I would say that having our kitchen, family room, living room, and dining room torn apart at the same time qualifies as upheaval, right?

Two days before the work started, there stood Aaron staring at a wall in our kitchen.  I just stared at him, waiting for him to tell me what he was doing. 

Aaron:  Look!  There’s a crack in this wall.

Me:  Well, I think it’s just the paint but anyway, this wall will be coming down soon.  We’re going to see some very interesting things in the next few weeks.

Aaron:  Not me.

Me:  What do you mean?

Aaron:  I don’t like this. 

Me:  Why not?

Aaron:  Because Luke might turn off the electricity while I’m on my computer!

Luke, whom we’ve known since he was a teenager, has done our other remodeling.  He finished our entire upstairs last year.  So he knows Aaron well and is as prepared as one can be for the comments that Aaron will inevitably make. 

Gary and I decided to stay in the house during this renovation.  We put together a makeshift kitchen in one of our upstairs bedrooms.  I told a friend that if I couldn’t cook with all the gadgets I have then I’m pretty pathetic.  😊

Three days into our first week, this friend laughingly said she would like to know what I had been cooking that week.  Here is my answer:

Monday – leftovers.  I felt invincible

Tuesday – I decided to unbox my new air fryer and learn how to use it because I thought I needed some extra stress in my life.  I cooked Aaron’s brats in it.  I was fixing Gary and I some precooked Angus patties in the microwave and then some steamed cauliflower in the microwave.  And salad for all of us.

The microwave shut off because it won’t work at the same time the air fryer is on.  Too much electricity being used in our upstairs at the same time.  😝😝

I had enough Olive Garden dressing in our little frig we bought for our makeshift kitchen, but I was determined to find the extra bottle that I knew was in one of these food boxes, but I could NOT find it and I was so FRUSTRATED by that point!  Aaron loves that dressing!  I did not want to run out!  Then it became an issue over me saying to myself, I WILL find that dressing!! 

I found it today in the box with the baggies and foil.  😂😂

And the steamed cauliflower last night was slightly – largely – on the crunchy side.  We sounded like we were eating Doritos.

Tonight:  I wisely used my well-known crock pot and rice cooker to make Taco Chicken Bowls.  Took me awhile to find the rice.  WHERE IS THAT TUPPERWARE CONTAINER OF RICE???  I JUST saw it yesterday!!!

I found it, finally, under a bunch of cans.

Thursday:  We are eating at Outback.  😅😅

But things got much better after that first week.  We are truly thankful to be at home and so blessed that we have plenty of room upstairs, and then a whole downstairs where Aaron and I can watch our shows at night while Gary reads. 

Aaron still wishes that Luke would just stop all this nonsense.  He has told Luke multiple times that he wishes he would quit tearing our house down!  And yesterday, with two new workers here, Aaron walked up to them and nicely said, “I wish you would go home and quit tearing our house down.” 

I told them that Aaron was our welcoming committee and to just carry on.  😊

It is not a small project!

Aaron wishes it was small…and fast.

One night, before bed:

Aaron:  Mom, is Luke almost done?

Me:  Oh no, Aaron.  This remodel will take awhile (without defining “awhile.”)

Aaron:  Well, I wish it was done right away ALL the way because I don’t like that sound they make!!    😂😂

Aaron really does have a lot to get used to, like finding an empty can of black beans on the bathroom counter.  I needed to drain them in our bathroom sink as I was putting supper in the crock-pot in our Makeshift Bedroom Kitchen.

Aaron walked in the bathroom and immediately spied the empty can of black beans on the counter.

Aaron:  MOM!!  Why do you have black beans in the bathroom?!

Me:  I had to drain them, so I used my bathroom sink.

Aaron:  Oh.  I thought maybe you were using them on your hair!!

Hmmmm…he may be on to something there.  On many days I would try ANYTHING to help my hair!! 

Black Bean Bouffant!!   😂😂

I’ll let you know if it works – may even post some pictures!

But for now, here a few more shots of our work-in-progress.

And, as you can see, Luke and his team really are making progress! 

If we could only convince Aaron of that. 🙂