Too Much Love!

I guess the best way I could describe Aaron and the subject of love is this: 

Aaron holds love at a distance, admiring the concept but not wanting or able to become too involved in the process.

Welcome to how autism colors every single aspect of Aaron’s life, and therefore ours as well…or anyone who is associated with Aaron.

Valentine’s Day has been on Aaron’s mind since soon after Christmas when all the red hearts and cute stuffed animals and boxes of candy appeared on store shelves.  Aaron flits from one shelf to the next, holding up items and laughing as he very loudly says, “MOM!!  Look at this!!  Can I have it??!!”

It’s all great fun as he zooms around finding lots of treasures.  This idea of love is safe as Aaron, ever hopeful about his quest for “things,” attempts to score a bag of candy or a cute trinket to tuck away in his room.

Aaron does love showing love, but on his terms.  Aaron’s terms are dictated by his inner workings and thoughts, deeply affected by the effects of autism. 

At our local Dillon’s just down the road, we have come to know Jody.  She is a joy with a warm and loving heart.  Jody has personal family connections to special needs.  She has come to know Aaron and loves to interact with him.  Jody knows that sometimes Aaron enjoys buying flowers there that he gives to certain people, often ones in his day group, Paradigm.

One recent day, when I was in Dillon’s without Aaron, Jody asked me if I thought that Aaron would like to give flowers to his friends at Paradigm for Valentine’s Day.  Dillon’s donates flowers to all sorts of local places like hospitals, nursing homes, etc. 

I thought that was a wonderful idea, so we made our plan.  Barb, Paradigm supervisor and second mom to Aaron (though she’s too young to be his mom!), gave me numbers, and Jody did the ordering, and Aaron and I did the picking up. 

Perfect, right?

Wrong.

Aaron and I were eating lunch after our Meals on Wheels delivery the day before the flower pick-up and delivery.  The day before the big Valentine party at Paradigm.

Aaron does not handle parties and celebrations well…at all. 

Aaron does not handle expectations well…at all.

“Mom?” he began as we ate our lunch, “you make me feel like you think I need to be in love with the clients.”

I knew we were in trouble with all this business of flowers and parties and LOVE.

I explained, much more than once, over the remainder of that day about the purpose of the flowers.  I knew I was fighting an uphill battle, though.

I especially knew this when yesterday morning, Valentine party and flower delivery day, Aaron stood by my desk early…eyes droopy with sleep…and spoke his first words of the morning:

“Mom, I feel embarrassed by this love thing.”

Sigh.

Over the course of the morning, I told him that I would take the flowers…that he didn’t need to go…that it was fine for him to stay home from all the party stress…and so forth and so on.

But no, Aaron felt compelled to go…to give this difficult day a try.

Later, as we picked up the big box of beautiful roses from the Dillon’s florist, one of the ladies there very happily looked at us and said:

“You’re delivering some LOVE!!!”

Bless her heart, she had no idea.  I don’t think she heard Aaron’s reply.

“No!!” he simply said.

But that simple reply told SO much!

I made it to Paradigm with grouchy overloaded Aaron.  He was showing anything but love, except to Barb when he gave her a gift he had made.  He managed a smile for a picture.

He fell on the floor when he backed up into a friend in a wheelchair (neither were hurt).  But that certainly didn’t help his love feelings.  The party atmosphere was loud and just too much for Aaron, but it always is, so we left and headed home…with Aaron feeling terrible about the fall and the unmet expectations.

The flowers were beautiful and made the clients, especially the girls, feel loved and happy.

Aaron enjoyed seeing a picture of his happy friends that Barb sent.  But again, seeing it from a distance was best for him.

Gary and I took Aaron to lunch at a small local Asian restaurant nearby.  This made Aaron happy.  He processed the morning as he talked about it with us. 

He also made us laugh and laugh at his reaction to only having ONE fork.  To Aaron, one eating utensil is never enough!  This is Aaron’s norm:

But he handled that one fork very well, which was an accomplishment worthy of note to me and Gary. 

Small victories are pretty big to us. 

Aaron’s happiness is big, too. 

A trip to Wal-Mart after lunch.  Some Red Hots and a new game for Valentine’s Day.  All these things made Aaron very content and happy.

We know to do life Aaron’s way when we can.  Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. 

Seeing Aaron’s reaction to his one fork held a world of meaning to me and Gary. 

I’ll hold that in my heart on this Valentine’s weekend.

We love you, Aaron! 

Up close or from a distance, depending on Aaron – of course! 

HALT!!

Walking into Wal-Mart with Aaron is like opening a box of Cracker Jacks.  You never know what the surprise inside will be. 

I sure do have some Wal-Mart stories.  Like the Valentine nightie story.  Maybe I should share that one yet again since we’re in that time of the year.  And yes, Aaron has seen some sexy little lingerie hanging in our local Wal-Mart, but I gave him THE look and walked briskly away with him trailing behind before he could say more than:

“MOM!!  LOOK!!  BRAS!!”

I made a mad dash for the electronics section then since I knew Aaron would follow me there…because as much as he was fascinated with those BRAS, he does love those shelves full of games and movies. 

I almost always give Aaron a few instructions as we walk into Wal-Mart, especially if he wants to branch off on his own…heading to electronics, of course.  Or the snack aisle.

Aaron, don’t run.

Aaron, don’t make funny noises…and yes, that includes farting noises.

Aaron, don’t ask the Wal-Mart associate for help a dozen times.

Aaron, if you do ask the Wal-Mart associate for help, don’t begin by saying, “HEY!!!”

Aaron, not everyone wearing blue is a Wal-Mart associate.  Please don’t ask multiple random people for help.

There are a few other guidelines that I wish I had given Aaron in the past, but the past is in the past, right? 

Aaron, please don’t pull a box of cereal out of the lower row of that huge cereal display at the end of the aisle. 

Aaron, please don’t make the fox whistle, especially when there are multiple couples nearby…including men with big muscles, you know.

Aaron, please don’t keep flashing the peace sign at every security camera you see.

And this one especially:

Aaron, please don’t sing the last line of the last song you heard in the van.   Repeating “Man!!  I feel like a woman!!” over and over was a bit much for me. 

This past Friday, Aaron and I made our weekly Wal-Mart excursion and of course Aaron wanted to venture off in his own direction.  Soon, I saw him up ahead in the snack aisle.  He saw me coming and immediately he did this:

He just held his arm out there for the world to see…and they did. 

He did NOT want to be interrupted in his private quest for the best and the most snacks he could round up without Mom’s interference and unwanted input. 

Oh Aaron, you do make me laugh!

And at least you weren’t singing or whistling!!

Set It Aside

One morning shortly before Christmas, Gary and I sat down to eat breakfast with Aaron.  We were enjoying our eggs, sausage, and biscuits while listening to Aaron talk…always Aaron is talking! 

Aaron pushed back his chair and got up to get something from the kitchen – probably more napkins or silverware since one napkin and one set of silverware is never adequate in Aaron’s book.  I looked up then to see that Aaron had put his biscuit off his plate.  He had set it aside in order to keep his plate from being crowded and to keep the food from touching. 

We just left it there, choosing not to make that action an issue on this pleasant morning.  Aaron has his particular ways.  And Gary and I have learned to choose our battles carefully because disrupting Aaron’s ways can leave a trail of anger and frustration for all of us…and many times, it’s just not worth it.

Such is our life with autism, this matter of what to set aside and what to put back on the plate.

I had a full plate of Aaron issues last week.  We had unaccounted money gone from Aaron’s wallet, which means he probably gave some away at his day group.  He knows better, but he has a very hard time resisting the urge to share his money with his friends.  Therefore, he has become quite adept at not telling the truth, which was another issue we had to handle with Aaron.

Aaron became so frustrated that on Wednesday, he erupted in anger and tears at his day group.  He called me on the phone several times…he threw his shoe and his glasses…he yelled…and all in all was just extremely unhappy. 

His coat also got torn on both sides.  Aaron said that was done in fun as he and another client chased each other.  Either way, Wednesday was a rough day in more ways than one.

On Friday night, shortly after midnight, Aaron had the first of four seizures…the last one being at 6:40 Saturday morning.  I was fixing his favorite salad that morning, hoping he could enjoy it for supper as I hauled his wet bedding down the stairs and then helped him get settled on the couch for more sleep…and hopefully no more seizures. 

Bless his heart.  He can’t help his behaviors any more than he can help his seizures.  Yet while his seizures touch my heart, sometimes his behaviors do quite the opposite.

I thought about his biscuit as I was processing all that happened last week.  What do I set aside, and what do I keep on my plate?

I need to set aside resentment and anger, which is not always easily done.  Living full time with Aaron can take a toll on me and on Gary.  But God has led us to this life, and we know that He will keep us where we need to be if we just focus our eyes on Him and not on our circumstances. 

I must set aside selfishness.  Mending Aaron’s coat…taking him to have his bent glasses adjusted…washing his bedding and clothes…listening to his explanations over and over and over…  All these are actions that take my time and energy.  As any caregiver knows…as any parent knows…selfishness and service do not mix.  One must go off the plate.

Fear is another thing that needs to go.  Aaron’s seizures make my heart leap with fright for an instant.  I don’t think one ever gets used to them.  His future, too, can cause my heart to fear.  But again, I know that this path we walk is not alone.  God is with us each step and He has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind. 

Now what do I keep on my plate?  I keep the reminder of God’s great faithfulness.  I keep His Word in my heart.  I am mindful of His grace for each day and each moment.

I keep humor nearby, always.  A cheerful heart is the best medicine, like God said, for me and for Aaron, even when Aaron gives me a blank look when I think I’m very funny.  😊 

 I also count my blessings!  My plate overflows with blessings if I but look around me.  For instance, on Saturday I was very thankful for the blessing of a washer and dryer instead of a bucket and a clothesline.  Thankful for a warm house, food to eat and to fix for Aaron, and thankful that Aaron could eat some bacon and eggs later that morning.   And Aaron, who loves using multiple napkins, decided that the grease on his fingers could not wait for his napkin.  His eyes shot over to me as he wondered if I saw what he just did. 

“I was wiping a grease of bacon on my pants,” he seriously informed me.”

There’s the humor!!  😊 

Thankfulness, too, for Aaron’s amazing way with words.  After all, that’s a big reason I started writing this blog and named it He Said WHAT?!

And there is yet another blessing!  All my readers mean more to me than I can express. 

See how it goes?  My plate is filling up with good stuff, none of which I want to set aside. 

Time to taste and see that the Lord is good!

Aaron’s Talking Points #12

It’s high time I shared more of Aaron’s fun (or sometimes not!) way of viewing his world. Enjoy!

I took my bracelet off in the van on our way to Aaron’s day group this morning because I didn’t think it matched the red in my blouse. Within three seconds of taking it off, Aaron had it on. When we pulled up to Paradigm, he jumped out of the van faster than greased lightning! He didn’t want me to make him take the bracelet off. Here’s the picture that Barb sent me. HaHa!

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Aaron was excited to tell me what he did today at Paradigm. It involved a Spangles hamburger, but he was also glad to help buy things for group homes at Sam’s.

Aaron: Mom!! Today I went to Sam’s with Amy!

Me: You did? What did you buy?

Aaron: Things for group homes. And we stayed a LONG time! Like til 1:09!!

Me: Really? It wasn’t 1:10?

Aaron: No!! It was 1:09!!

Me: Not 1:10?

Aaron: No! We stayed til 1:09.

This conversation never gets old and never ceases to make me laugh. 😁

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Aaron was talking about the drive home from his group today. “Mom, our driver missed the first two road spaces to our house!” Well, I guess turning off on the third road space was a charm because he made it home.

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Aaron was talking again yesterday about the girl in his group who likes him, so I told him to tell her that they could be friends without her having to be his girlfriend. Later he said, “Mom, I’m going to keep those words inside of me.” In other words, he doesn’t want to tell her that because he likes this situation! Oh boy!

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There was one piece of pizza left so I offered it to Aaron, although I asked him if he minded that I had taken a bite out of it. His reply: “Well, just so I don’t get your germs. I don’t want to become bossy!” Now I’m wondering who I caught MY bossiness from!

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Aaron was a little sad when I picked him up one day last week. It seems that his good friend was having a bad day…as many of the clients sometimes do, including Aaron…and she had hit Aaron. He talked and talked about it over the weekend.

He and I were in Dillon’s on Saturday, and we passed through the beautiful flowers in the florist area.

“MOM!!” Aaron blurted. “Can I get N some flowers because she hit me??”

At first, I laughed, but as I thought about it I realized what he was really saying. He wanted N to feel better, so he thought flowers should help. He was willing to give his friend something sweet even though she had been mean to him.

This sure has given me something to think about the last few days, and it’s not just that maybe if I hit Gary then he’ll bring me flowers. 😉 Aaron has focused my thinking far deeper than that, as he often does. 💕

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We got Aaron a new bed. It’s bigger than his old bed so we’ve cautioned him about bumping his legs on the end of it. He’s done very well with all the changes, including putting his night stand with all his “stuff” on it on the OTHER side of his new bed.

Tonight at supper, Gary asked Aaron how he slept last night.

“Good,” Aaron answered. “But the edge of that bed keeps hitting the edge of my leg!”

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Aaron: Mom, Jackson gassed. Can you smell it?

Me: No, I can’t smell it.

Aaron: I think you can smell nothing. I think something’s wrong with your nasals.

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Aaron’s EEG went well. I don’t know when we’ll get results. As we left on the elevator we wondered what time it was & so I quickly looked at Aaron’s wristwatch. I said, “Oh, it’s 10:45.” You know what’s coming, don’t you? Aaron then looked at his watch & said, “No. It’s 10:46.” I wonder if people could hear the laughter coming out of the elevator. And Aaron can’t figure out why on earth I think that’s funny!

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Aaron: “It’s cold! Does that mean it’s half-winter?” A new season has begun!

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Gary and I returned home after being away this weekend. Aaron was doing his usual talking, then paused as he remembered something important.

“MOM!! WAIT!! I got you something!!”

He ran up to his room and came back with a beautiful pouch that our friend Terri had helped him buy for me. Aaron was super excited as he handed it to me and said:

“MOM!! This is for you, but if you don’t want it then I can keep it!!!” 😁😁

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Aaron has been very happy that Gary and I were planning a trip to Topeka. “No parents!” he says. Yesterday he asked what time we were leaving, and I told him we were leaving at 3:00. “Can’t you leave early?” he asked. “Like 2:59?” 🙂

By the way, we left at 2:52. We showed him!

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Aaron and I are watching Rocketeer. When the girl hit the bad guy over the head with a vase, Aaron said, “She bonked him into sleep, right?” HaHa!

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Aaron saw a bowl of whole, uncapped strawberries on the kitchen counter and so he grabbed one to eat. He carried it over to me and said, “Mom, can you cut the flower off the top?”

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Aaron, watching Laura Ingalls at the fair on Little House on the Prairie as she tried unsuccessfully to find the coin under the shell: “She has UNLUCK!!” 😆😆

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Aaron pulled a muscle in his leg a few days ago. He’s been limping around but is better today. Still, it’s bothering him that this mysterious thing happened.

Aaron: Mom, I feel like I’m getting old!

Me: You’re not old!

Aaron: I’m 34!!!

Me: 35. You’re 35.

I’ve always had the gift of encouragement. 🤪😁😁

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Today our dear friend, Terri, spent some time with Aaron while Gary and I were out. They went to lunch, walked around a lake and saw ducks and geese and a snake, went to see Terri’s bird, and just had fun. Aaron totally enjoyed it. But as usual, Aaron has his own take on things.

Aaron: Mom, I don’t think Terri looks like the kind of woman who should be watching over me.

Me: What on earth do you mean?

Aaron: Well, she looks like a Grandma! 😅😅🤷‍♀‍

Terri, you meant it when you said you think Aaron’s funny, right?

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Aaron: “Mom, are cashews normal nuts?”

 Me: “What’s a normal nut?”

Aaron: “Nuts that aren’t cashews.”

 I need to sit awhile and think about this.

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Just awhile ago Aaron said, “Mom, someone in my group told me that eating pears will put hair on your chest. Is that true?”

Me: “Well, Aaron, I’ve eaten plenty of pears.”

Aaron: “But girls aren’t ALLOWED to have hair on their chests!”

I cannot tell you how relieved I am right now!

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Aaron and I are sitting on the front porch enjoying this beautiful evening. A neighbor that we don’t know real well came walking by with her dog. She spoke and I spoke, which Aaron saw as his wide-open door.

“HEY!!” he loudly yelled. “WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE VOLCANO??!!”

She was a trooper and answered him. while he vigorously rubbed his hands together, totally delighted.

He’s just hilarious!!! So random!! 🤣🤣

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I’ll be back with more another day, of that I am certain! 🙂 🙂

This Gift Has My Name on It!

Gary and I were sitting beside our decorated tree one night before Christmas.  We were not alone for long, as is so often the case.  Aaron soon joined us.  He was, of course, drawn to the presents under the tree.  His observant eyes had seen his name on a gift!

“Look!!” he exclaimed, “this gift has my name on it!” 

His childish delight made us smile.

His childish delight is, in fact, a gift to us.

Yet there are other aspects of who Aaron is that we would not describe as a gift.  Maybe more as a burden?  An annoyance? 

We know that God gave us Aaron, and he is indeed the whole package.  It’s just that some of the contents of that package are not what we would have hand-picked. 

Am I being too blunt here?

This reality of God’s gifts to me carries over into every area of my life.  Gary and I had been married for five years before we had a baby…Aaron.  We prayed for a baby.  God gave us Aaron.

Do I really trust God in this answer to our prayers?

So many times in my life I have prayed over some matter…some decision…some issue.  But sometimes God’s answers are not what I would have chosen.

Oh, they may seem wonderful at the time but later the gift might turn sour. 

What happened?

How easy it is, then, to play the guessing game.

Maybe if we had moved there instead of here.

Maybe if we had joined that church instead of this church.

Maybe if we had raised our children in this way instead of that way.

Maybe…maybe…maybe.

Yet if I am walking with God in obedience, and I am praying for direction, I must trust that the way He leads is best and for a reason.

Good reasons, always.

But not always easy.

I must reach out and take God’s gifts to me with trust.

The children of Israel knew that God led them miraculously out of Egypt.  No one could doubt that.  But then it wasn’t long before they disobeyed God.  Even the manna God provided to them became a source of discontentment and complaint. 

Soon the Israelites were comparing their present lot with the life they used to have in Egypt, creating more unhappiness and grumbling.

I do that, too.  I pray…I take God’s gift of an answer…and then when things get hard, I fight the tendency to complain and to compare.

If only I had what they have…lived where they live…got to go where they go…blah, blah, blah.

Such a trap!

This morning, I read the answer to this dilemma in my life:

“Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; and let those who love Your salvation say continually, ‘Let God by magnified.’  (Psalm 70:4)

I must keep my eyes on God in every area of my life. 

My gladness and contentment is in God alone, not in the events of my life – good or not so good.

So, when I reach out and take God’s gifts to me, may I not focus on the gift so much but instead may my eyes stay on the Giver of the gifts. 

That’s easy to do when the gift is fun and happy.

But I must understand that some gifts are not fun and happy.  Some are hard and sad. 

Yet on each gift, I see the tag.

To:  Patty

From:  God

Thank you, God, that every gift from You is good and perfect.  You didn’t say they were easy and fun. 

Help me to trust You.

“Look!  This gift has my name on it!!”

Our Thanksgiving

I don’t know if I’ll ever catch up with my blogging.  I’m so far behind that I haven’t even shared Aaron’s birthday pictures, and his birthday was nearly a month ago!  Oh well.  Life is busy and full, plus I just think I’m not as quick in many ways as I used to be. 

Enough of that!

I last wrote about Aaron’s increased seizures, and our son’s COVID diagnosis.  Thankfully, Aaron hasn’t had a single seizure that we’ve heard since that blog!

 Andrew has recovered from COVID and is exploring job opportunities since his racing furlough. 

Our trip to Texas for Thanksgiving went well.  Not perfectly smooth, but then is that ever the case?  God blessed us with safety and mostly good health and lots of sweet memories.  I’ll share those memories with pictures galore, so here we go!

Kyle and Andrea’s house was so warmly decorated for Christmas! 

Aaron did plenty of talking, as always!

And lots of laying on the floor petting these cuties.

Not the sock, Siggy!

He was pleased as punch to give Andrea the Thanksgiving picture he had colored for her.

And very surprised to receive a gift from Andrea’s boss at MD Anderson, who has taken a special and very kind interest in Aaron.

Our Thanksgiving Day was spent at the home of Kyle’s parents, Kent and Marie.  What a beautiful home and hospitality! 

Kyle loves goofy faces!

Aaron was nervous and sometimes grouchy in these new surroundings but soon he found his comfort zone – adorable Jax and Jill!

We are thankful for time together with family and friends.  Thankful, too, for all of God’s precious blessings, and for His comfort when we missed those not with us. 

May each of you be especially blessed as we remember God’s goodness, especially His great love that we next celebrate at Christmas.

Thanksgiving!

I want to wish each of you a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving! 

We made it to Houston!

I just wanted to share with you a picture of Aaron with his sister, Andrea.  Aaron colored that picture in his day group and was very happy to give it to Andrea.

I wish you all a very blessed day in whatever form it takes. 

May we all remember to count our blessings and keep our minds on the Giver of them all. 

Our Man Kid

A couple weeks ago I was talking to our daughter on the phone.  Almost always, when she and I are on the phone, Aaron will come bounding up to me and without lowering his voice he will ask if that’s Andrea.  I shake my head yes and so the hovering begins as he waits for HIS turn to talk to Andrea.  I finally let him have his time, knowing that if I don’t he will most likely linger close by until I do.

“ANDREA!!” he begins.  “Guess what game I’m playing now?!” 

And he’s off, talking about everything under the sun that has to do with his world.  He never asks about her life or how she’s doing.  Never.  But she understands that about her brother.  She laughs with him and talks to him about all his games and movies and answers his unusual questions about unusual things as seriously as if she’s talking to a lab manager about the proper way to conduct a molecular test. 

A couple weeks ago, she and I were talking about how Aaron is and how he must appear to others.  His conversations, his approach to life, his characteristics that others observe when they first see Aaron or if they know Aaron well…everything that makes Aaron who Aaron is.  Andrea said that he really is just a kid in a man’s body.

Then later that same evening, Aaron and I were talking to a neighbor and her young son out on our driveway.  This little boy just looked up at Aaron as Aaron went on and on about whatever.  Aaron was talking rather loudly, as usual, and all the time he talked he kept working his fingers together the way that he does. 

Finally, our young friend was able to get a word in…a question, actually.   

“Are you a man kid?” he asked Aaron.

That question went completely over Aaron’s head as he just barreled on with his topic of interest at that moment.

But it stopped me in my tracks. 

“What a perfect way to describe him!” I quietly told his mother. 

And how interesting that Andrea and I had said that same thing, yet not as precisely, just that afternoon.

A man kid. 

There stands Aaron, looking every bit like a man…and he is.  He has a man’s voice, a man’s physique, a man’s facial hair, and even a man’s balding head.  😊

But he acts so much like a kid!  And to other kids I know it’s a process to try to figure Aaron out.  We’re so used to him that we don’t often mentally step back and think of how it must be for children to understand Aaron.

Tomorrow is Aaron’s birthday.  Our son, who is a man, turns 36 tomorrow!

Our son, who is a kid, is exuberantly excited about his birthday.  He always is, every single year. 

If you ask him how old he will be, he pauses as he tries to remember his new age.  That number of “36” means nothing to him.

But oh, his birthday means everything to him.  Just ask our neighbors, some from around our circle that we don’t really know.  If Aaron is outside and he sees someone walking by, he briskly heads to the street.

“HEY!!” he yelled the other day to a couple of ladies.  “It’s almost my birthday!!”

They laughed and congratulated him as they went on their way.

And our man kid stood there rubbing his hands together in delight, with his deep chuckle bubbling up, his sweater flapping in the breeze, and joy all over his face.

Remembering that Aaron is a man kid helps us enjoy him.

But more importantly, it helps us understand him…and understanding Aaron is crucial in how we live with him and deal with him.

Happy Birthday, Aaron!! 

We love you, man kid!!

Aaron’s Talking Points #11

Here are more of Aaron’s sayings, collected over the years. Have fun reading!

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Aaron and I finished our Skip-Bo game. I reached out to get some cards that he was handing me.

Aaron: Your hands are skinny……

And all I heard was the word “skinny.” Something on me was identified as skinny??!!

Aaron (continuing): …..like an alien.

Hmmmmm.

I’ll take it!

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While talking about his group this morning, Aaron said, “Mom, a girl there likes me. I would put it as she doesn’t love me but she likes me.”

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Aaron drinks water or other beverages like he’s in a contest to see who can down his drink the fastest. He turns it up, chug-a-lugs, and down it goes. He even drinks his coffee that way, once it cools, which is a total travesty. We’re always telling him to slow down…savor each sip…taste each swallow.

Today I fixed him some hot tea that he wanted. He came downstairs later, cup empty, and gave me this report:

“Mom! I was not drinking all of it. I was just drinking PARTS of it!”

In other words, he SIPPED his tea! But as usual, his description is far more interesting than ours. 😁🥃☕🥛

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Oh, silly people who call this little round thing a coaster. Aaron told me the correct name last night.

This is a drink plate.

Got it?

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Aaron was telling me all about the chicken in the deli at Dillon’s.

“They have fried chicken. They have that chicken with no bones. And they have pop-tart chicken!”

Um, that would be popcorn chicken, Aaron. But with pop-tart chicken you could have breakfast and lunch in one!

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Aaron and I were talking about how some people do bad things, and that the color of a person’s skin doesn’t make them bad or not bad. He thought a minute and then said, “So not a person’s skin or their species makes them bad?”

Species? Let’s start over.

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Yesterday Aaron and I were listening to Zac Brown.

Zac Brown: …and if you say that I’m too late, I’ll curl up and die in misery.

Aaron laughed and laughed.

Me: Why are you laughing at that?

Aaron: He said he would curl up by Miss Ugly!!

I’m afraid I let this life lesson pass right by as we both dissolved in laughter. 🤪😂😂

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Aaron had a seizure last night. Just one, but is he ever wired this morning! He was out of bed very early and has talked pretty well nonstop. He considered playing a game on his computer, but I reminded him that this is not a good idea after having a seizure.

Me: Aaron, you know that playing a game might get your brain too riled up.

Aaron: So a game might make me wild up?

I didn’t tell Aaron, but I actually think it’s too late to stop that! 🤪♥️♥️

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In Wal-Mart today, Aaron’s eyes latched on to a display of colorful, adorable, stuffed pigs. He instantly latched on to the brightest one there. He had me when he said, “Can I own him?” 😃

Aaron may be our adult son, but sometimes he’s just still so cute and dear. ❤️

And he now owns a very bright pig!

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I was frustrated with Aaron today when I picked him up from his day group because he told me he had given some of his money away to a friend. We work and work to make him stop giving away his money, but still he sometimes does this.

So, I gave him the lecture.

Then I gave a big sigh.

Aaron: Mom, don’t fight and don’t breathe!

Well, I guess if I quit breathing then I would also quit fighting. 😜🤔

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Since Gary and I got home from Houston, and after all of Aaron’s weekend seizures, he’s been telling us that his legs are weak. Finally, yesterday, he got it figured out.

“Mom, I think those six seizures stiffed my legs!!”

I want to show I’m sorry about his legs, but it sure is hard not to laugh at his wonderful way with words.

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Aaron and I got home from eating lunch out (at last!!), and then running several errands. He was very compliant with staying near me while we were out, using hand sanitizer at the air base before we could enter, and only walking one way up and down the store aisles. 🙄

Soon after we were home, he wanted a piece of cake that we made the other day, so I told him to wash his hands. He finally showed his frustration.

“Is that a government law??” he asked with disdain.

I assured him it was Mom’s law and he REALLY better obey that one!! 😂😂

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Andrea got me some beautiful roses and there are some ferns mixed in. Aaron saw pieces of the ferns that had fallen on the table and asked what they were. “Mom, I thought your hair was shredding on the table.” I hope not. I have enough hair problems without adding shredded hair to the list!

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Aaron: “So are you getting something special since it’s your Mother’s Day?”

I walked over to him, put my arm around him and said, “Well, a hug is special.”

Aaron: “I was talking about food!!”

Ah, if Mom gets special food then Aaron might get special food. Smart boy!

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Gary took Aaron out today, and when they came home, in walked Aaron with his arms full of candy and cookies and a really fun card for me.

Aaron: Here, Mom! These are for you.

Me: Wow, Aaron! Thank you so much!!

Then I decided to tease him a little.

Me: So, do I have to share these with you?

Aaron: No. I don’t like any of them.

And off he walked.

Never underestimate Aaron’s honesty and clarity. 😀😀

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‘Til next time! And trust me, there WILL be a next time! 🙂

My Lot in Life

Having Aaron still live at home with us can present challenges in various ways.  One issue that Gary and I face is, at times, trying to have a prolonged conversation with just the two of us.  It’s amazing how often we have the following scenario:

I walk down to Gary’s study and sit in the rocker.  Aaron is safely WAY up on the third floor, in his room, absorbed in a game or a movie.  But somehow, someway, it’s as if the tiniest sound of our voices reaches Aaron’s ears even through his earbuds.  Soon we hear the unmistakable THUMP THUMP THUMP of his heavy footsteps coming down first one set of stairs and then the second set of stairs.  Gary and I look at each other in resignation as Aaron charges into the study.  “MOM!!! (or DAD!!!),” Aaron bellows.  “Did you know that the core of the earth is HOT?!!  Why is the core of the earth hot?  Can we go to the core?  Would you like to go to the core of the earth??”  Aaron doesn’t notice the lack of interest on our faces or hear our sighs.  “No, Aaron,” I (or Gary) reply, “we don’t want to go the core of the earth.”  (Although that thought might be attractive at the moment in order to afford us some privacy!).  “Why not?!!” Aaron asks.  So we tell him that we will talk about this later and we tell him to go back to his room and ponder the core of the earth a bit more and we wait for him to leave before we try to resume our conversation.

I have been known to say, more than once, something to this effect: “You know, it seems to be our lot in life that we can hardly have a private conversation.”  Gary and I laugh as we both agree with this truth in our lives.

However, there are times that referring to my lot in life can take on a more serious tone and one that is defeating.  I may not even verbalize my thoughts.  That thought may be fleeting or if I’m not careful, may take root in my mind. 

My “lot in life” may be an ongoing situation, such as having our adult special needs son still living with us and facing all the challenges that brings. 

My “lot in life” may be a sudden situation that intrudes into my peaceful life.  We all have them.  Health, finances, children situations, jobs…

There is a truth that I must remember when my mind travels to considering my “lot in life.”  That phrase conjures up a roll of the dice…the hand I was given…good or bad luck.

Each of those concepts go totally against my walk with God.  As a follower of Christ my life is not controlled by luck or how my stars are aligned or any such nonsense. 

Here’s how David put it:

“The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; You hold my lot.”   

(Psalm 16:5)

My life’s circumstances are not controlled by chance but are designed by God for me.

God is providentially ordering my life. 

And He is doing the same for yours if you are His child and are following Him.

Therefore, I can…I SHOULD…be content with God’s design of my life.  Even the very hard parts that bring tears and fears.

One more thing.  My “lot in life” is not your “lot in life.”  And your “lot in life” is not my “lot in life.”

When I go to comparing my life to yours then I will inevitably be either discouraged or boastful…and both of those attitudes are terribly wrong.

Again, David said it well:

“I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.”  (Psalm 16:8)

God is to be my point of reference.  He is the answer to all my questions.

God is the One Who has given me my “lot in life.”

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP