Category: Adult Autism

Aaron’s Move: Battle of the Books

The day of Aaron’s move to a group home is drawing near.  He will be moving on Monday, August 3.  It’s still hard to believe we’re really doing this. 

Aaron continues to talk excitedly about moving to anyone who will listen, or to anyone who might pause near him in a store aisle, or to anyone whom he thinks he might know even if he doesn’t……

If you see us out and about in the next few days you might want to hide unless you have extra time to listen to Aaron talk ALL about moving.

But Aaron is also showing some concerns about this huge change in his life.  He’s been talking more this week about missing us when he leaves, and about not wanting to leave his room.  Some of his increased concerns are no doubt because we have started moving some of his things over to his group home.

Aaron loves his Handy Answer Books.  I counted 31 of those books!  He has had them stacked in a very high pile beside his bed.  He won’t hear of any better ideas for their storage, so his mountain of books has stayed there and has grown even taller with each new book.

A couple days ago I put the books in three baskets and carried them to our kitchen, where I put them on our kitchen table bench waiting to be taken to his new room. 

I picked him up from his day group that afternoon.  He hurried inside and by the time I walked in the house, the books were not on the bench.  I knew exactly where they would be.

Sure enough, quick as a flash he had put the books beside his bed where, to him, they belong.  At least they were still in the baskets.

“Hey Aaron,” I said.  “I had those books downstairs so that we can take them to your new room tomorrow.”

“Well, I’M not moving tomorrow,” he quickly responded. “I want them to stay here!”

I left it alone for awhile.  Later I broached the sensitive book subject again and he agreed to let us take them to his group home.  A small yet huge step for him.

He came downstairs before he went to bed to dig in his books until he was satisfied with what he needed to see.  I just watched, not wanting to pester him in whatever his needed mission was at that moment.

Dear Aaron.  I know we can’t begin to imagine the turmoil in his life that the removal of his favorite books caused.  They are safely in his new room across town now, waiting for him to join them again.

Aaron is putting on a brave face, but we know that this change is more monumental to him than we can ever fully realize. 

Only God knows what thoughts are rumbling around Aaron’s brain as he sees the only life he’s known being uprooted and drastically changed. 

We know God is in it and that He will take care of Aaron.  He knows Aaron even better than we do and loves him even more.

God knows our worried thoughts, too, and that my heart that feels like it might break.

God didn’t clearly answer our two very huge prayers regarding Aaron moving only to leave him or us stranded.  We know that in our heads.  Our hearts are taking a little longer to adjust.

But I do look forward to seeing how this move will show us God’s loving care in very real and sweet ways.

And I would not be at all surprised to walk in Aaron’s new room one day to find all 31 Handy Answer books out of their bookcase and stacked on the floor beside his bed in a very tall book tower. 

Don’t tell Aaron, but I don’t think I would mind that one bit. 

Moving Aaron

Yes, you read that title correctly.  Aaron is moving!

We have known for a long time that moving Aaron to a group home would need to be a part of his future.  But that part of his future was something we would always refer to as coming someday.  The prospect of him moving really wasn’t anywhere near a reality to us, though we knew that this “someday” would…someday…need to be THE day.

Gary and I have faced the truth that we are officially in our old age.  We have never wanted or planned for either of our other children to be responsible for Aaron moving when we are gone.  We know that planning for and carrying out Aaron’s next steps in life should be our responsibility, not theirs.  We also have known that facing this big challenge should be done before a crisis of some sort hits me or Gary. 

But what we have known for years in our hearts and on paper has been extremely hard to carry out in Aaron’s life…and in ours.  So many obstacles.  So many emotions.  So many reasons to wait until a better time.

A few months ago, we put out some little feelers to our good friend at Aaron’s day group.  She is like a second mother to Aaron and has known him for years.  I told Barb that we were ready…maybe?…to pursue these next difficult decisions for Aaron.

Aaron has a sweet friend at his day group.  Victoria and Aaron have a very special relationship.  We finally started letting Aaron call Victoria his girlfriend last year.  They really do seem to love each other. 

We talked and prayed about Aaron moving but had no idea how on earth to make this happen.  Aaron would NOT want to leave home.  He would be very angry and resistant to even the idea, much less an actual move.

One day I told Gary that the only way I could see this working was if there would be an open room in Victoria’s group home.  Co-ed group homes are common. But that was a real stretch, I knew.  Her house was full, with no vacancies expected.  But I prayed anyway that if this was God’s will then a room in that house would open.

On May 4th, I got a text from Barb.  She told me there had been a change and that suddenly there was a room opening in Victoria’s house.  Oh my!  Talk about mixed emotions!  We had excitement mixed with concern.  But deep down I knew that God had opened a very definite door for us.  We could not walk away and ignore this precise answer to prayer.  Gary agreed and so we knew we must move forward.

Our other prayer now was that Aaron would want to move.  This was another huge obstacle that we saw no way around but for God to work a miracle in Aaron’s heart. 

On the day Barb told us about the open room, I started a journal of God’s doings during this process.  I would open my Bible and read on those pages.  On May 5th, the day after Barb told us about the room, here is what I read.

“When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, You knew my path.”   Psalm 142:3

And:  “You have worked wonders, plans formed long ago with perfect faithfulness.”   Isaiah 25:1

God strengthened my spirit so much that morning with those precious promises about this path He had put us on for Aaron.  I certainly did feel overwhelmed, but I knew that God knew my path.  Our path.  His plans for Aaron and for us would be covered by His perfect faithfulness to all of us.

With Barb’s help, we planned for Aaron to go to the group home one day for supper.  We had Victoria ask him and he was beyond excited.  That day he rode to the house in the van with Victoria and the rest of the residents.

 He hung out there for a few hours and ate supper.  While there, the staff showed him the empty bedroom, and they talked to him about moving there. 

When I went to pick him up, I cringed when Aaron told me that they had shown him the room and asked him if he would like to live there.  I didn’t know they would do that yet. But Aaron was all about it!  He thought that was a great idea! 

Since then, Aaron has still been very upbeat about moving.  It’s amazing!  Another very big answer to prayer!

But he’s also going around telling everyone that he’s going to move in with his girlfriend. 

“Um, it’s not exactly like that,” I feel compelled to add.

So here we are.  We are having our intake meeting next week.  I’m not sure of an exact move-in date yet.

My emotions are all over the place.  You can imagine.  I know we’ll have bumps in the road as Aaron adjusts to leaving home.  He is expressing some fears about that. 

And I’m expressing my fears to some, but mainly to God.  Who can take care of Aaron like I do?  Who understands him and can read him like a book?  Who will be on alert for his seizures and take care of him when they happen?  Who will take him for a slushie or a milkshake?  And on and on and on.

But the God Who so definitely opened this door will take care of all those details and will take care of Aaron and of me during this huge transition.

My verse for May 30th:  “Do not fear, for I am with you.  Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you; surely I will help you; surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”   Isaiah 41:10

How good to know we can trust God with each chapter of our lives, and of Aaron’s!

Aaron’s Talking Points

Here are some long overdue Aaron sayings that I have collected over the years. I hope they bring a smile to you as they do to us!

I just got Aaron and me some Pork Fried Rice at Good Fortune. They let Aaron have some extra fortune cookies. He watched me setting out the rice and then asked, “Mom, do you have the wishing cookies?” 😃

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Aaron: “Dad and I went to Menards while you were gone. I didn’t like it.” So I asked him why he didn’t like it. “Because it smelled like house things!!” Makes me wanna go sniff around Menards again!

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Aaron, who prefers scrambled eggs, stared at his fried egg this morning. “Mom, I don’t really like eggs like this. They’re too yolky.”

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After a trip to the hardware store with Gary:

Aaron: “Guess what Dad and I saw at Ace Hardware?”

Me: “I don’t know. What did you see?”

Aaron: “We saw seeds that go to spinach!!”

Me: “Did you really?!”

Aaron: “Yes!! The picture on the front of the seeds had an impression of a bush!!”

Aaron’s world is always full of discovery!

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Aaron saw a dog on a commercial, and was reminded of poodles. He told me that he doesn’t like poodles because they’re ugly. I told him they are NOT ugly and asked why he would think that.

Aaron: “Well, their fur is all twisted!”

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After a shopping trip yesterday with his group, Aaron came home and excitedly said, “Mom! We saw a place where you can go take a tan!” Well, I guess if we can take a break, take a walk, or take a swim – then it makes sense to take a tan!

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Today Aaron said, “Mom, John hit his finger with a hammer and his skin crumbled!” OUCH!! I personally hate it when my skin crumbles!

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Every time Aaron and I go into a store, he immediately starts looking for an employee that he can talk to – especially to ask this lucky person where something is. He and I can be standing next to a big mountain of fat watermelons, and if Aaron sees an employee nearby, this happens:

Aaron: HEY!!!!

Startled employee looks up, some concern on their face.

Aaron: Do you have watermelons?!!

Me (While apologizing to startled employee): Aaron! You don’t need to ask him about watermelons. They’re right here, and even if they weren’t, we could still find them!

Now, every time we walk into a store, I tell Aaron not to ask the worker’s any questions. Period. No questions to poor unsuspecting workers!

After I picked Aaron up today from Paradigm, we went into Wal-Mart. I gave Aaron the usual instructions about not asking the workers to help him. Of course, later we were looking for peanuts and couldn’t find them anywhere. I knew Aaron was on the lookout for someone to ask, someone wearing a Wal-Mart vest. Therefore, as I headed to another aisle for something, I gave Aaron the warning about not asking for help.

It wasn’t long, in the other aisle, before Aaron came walking briskly toward me.

“MOM!!! I asked a NORMAL person, and they said the peanuts are in aisle 15!!!!”

So now do I tell Aaron not to ask Wal-Mart workers OR normal people for help? Doesn’t sound good, somehow. 🤔😄

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I just took Aaron on our Friday Walmart “See What Treasures Aaron Can Find” trip. He wanted to go to electronics while I looked for a few other things. My looking for other things took a bit longer that I had planned – partly because of helping an older and very frustrated man find Shake ‘N Bake – but I finally made my way to electronics.

As I turned to head up the center aisle, there stood Aaron a ways off, eyes crinkled in a huge smile when he saw me…a smile that I could “see” even from under his mask. He quickly hid something behind his back and I could hear his chuckle from yards away.

As I walked up to where he stood beside a movie DVD display, he excitedly showed me that behind his back he was holding the ET movie that he’s been wanting. But I also noticed a stack of items on the floor where we were standing. As I looked down at them, I instantly knew that Aaron had been on his own shopping spree by himself.

There on the floor were 3 boxes of Good and Plentys; a box of microwave popcorn; another box of microwave popcorn with LOTS of butter that I don’t let him buy (but hope springs eternal with Aaron); AND a salt lamp. Yes! A salt lamp!! 😂

The extra buttered popcorn and the salt lamp are safely back on the shelves, but Aaron still made out pretty well with his stash. One of the questions at his yearly BASIS meeting is whether he could shop by himself for groceries.

Yes, he could!!! If you plan on a movie night watching ET with LOTS of popcorn and Good and Plentys and only a salt lamp providing soft salt light. 🤣🤣🤣

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Aaron came in the kitchen holding up a bright, shiny penny. “Look Mom! I found a new version of a penny in my pocket!!” 😄

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 We were watching Wheel of Fortune last night and a contestant bought an A. Aaron yelled, “A!!! As in (and he started singing) E I E I O!!” I just looked at him and then said, “Um, Aaron……there is no A in E I E I O.” He said, “What?” And I repeated, “There is no A in E I E I O.” He stared into space and thought for several seconds before just saying, “Oh.” I hope that someone buys an A tonight so I can see what happens next.

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We’re trying to get Aaron to quit giving his friend money. This girl has learned that Aaron will give her money nearly every day. So Aaron told me, “Mom, yesterday I didn’t give R. any money when she told me she was hungry. I went and bought her a pretzel. Wasn’t that better?” Oh boy – I need wisdom!

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Aaron loves deli Cheddar Pasta Salad, so I buy him one every Friday for his supper. As we left for his group, he asked if I was getting him one today and I said, “Sure, unless you’re tired of them.” He said, “Wait! If I say I’m tired of them, then what else will I get?” Ah, he does recognize an opportunity when he sees it!

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I love how Aaron phrases things. He just now told Cody about his dentist appointment next week and said, “So I will be not here!”

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Aaron last night: “Mom, you know that dance that cowboys do? It’s called box dancing.” Box dancing?! We finally cleared up the fact that he means square dancing. Well, maybe he’s seen cowboys square dancing in a box. Or cowboys dancing in a square box. Or cowboys dancing with a box in a square. Or……….

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Aaron: When I got up this morning at 9:53… No, it wasn’t 9:53. When I got up this morning at 9:46, the windows were wet. 😄😄😄

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This morning:

Me: Aaron, I put money in your wallet for popcorn at the movie today.

Aaron: OK. How much?

Me: I put in $9.00, and then 25 cents. It’s two dimes and a nickel. And you have a penny that was already in there.

Aaron: That would be 26 cents.

Thank you, Mr. Precision Personified. 😅 🧐 🙄

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This week is best friend’s week on Wheel of Fortune. One of the grand prizes, since there are two contestants, is a pair of Mini Coopers. Tonight, the two best friends who made it to the bonus round did not win the prize. You can guess what the prize would have been, but Aaron said:

“Awwww, they didn’t get the mini pair of coopers!!” 😂😂

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Aaron: Mom! Melinda took me to Taco Bell today for lunch!

Me: That’s nice! What did you get?

Aaron: I got two crunchy tacos and a nachos.

Me: That sounds yummy!

Aaron: What’s that green stuff on top?

Me: It’s guacamole.

Aaron: Oh. It seems like a slush.

Guacamole slush. Only at Taco Bell!!

Aaron should do a commercial!

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When Aaron watches a DVD, he watches it ALL. I just walked in his room and found him watching the credits of a movie. I asked him a question and so since he paused the credits to answer me, he went back to the beginning and is watching them again. Down to the very bitter end. Every little tiny, boring, unimportant word.

His mind is so fascinating!

Being Aaron’s Mother

I was awake early this morning, looking forward to coffee and quiet time before the busy start of the day began.

But just as I was climbing out of bed, so was You-Know-Who.

I thought maybe he would just go to the bathroom and back to bed.  But that hope was dashed when I heard him turn on his lamp that sits on his nightstand.  Turning that lamp on usually means he’s up to stay.

No sooner was I downstairs with my cup of coffee than I heard his familiar thump-thump-thump down the stairs. There he stood beside the table, staring at me.

I smiled and wondered if he could tell my heart wasn’t in it.

“Hey Aaron,” I said.  “It’s early and you could still sleep some.  Do you want to go back to bed?”

“No,” he replied.  “I want my coffee.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. 

“Yes,” he repeated. 

I gave him a playful look along with a little laugh.

“Don’t laugh at me!” he angrily said.  “I don’t like to be laughed at!”

And we were off and running. 

I tried to explain the difference in teasing and being rude for what I’m sure must be the millionth- something time.

And for the millionth-something time Aaron didn’t get it.

He proceeded then to come downstairs repeatedly to talk…about anything and everything.

How we didn’t pay him his allowance last night.  How barracuda live in the deep ocean and why do unmanned submersibles have to go down deep?  How long will it rain?  Can you show me on the radar?  I think I need to change clothes because it’s cold so can you pick out new ones for me?  I’m hungry.  Can I have some sausage?  Can you fix my stuffed animals in my bed?  We can’t go see Sheep Detectives at the theater since it might be crowded today so when will it be a day that’s not Mother’s Day that we can go see it.  And so forth and so on and on and on and on….

I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asked.

“Oh, nothing,” I answered.  “I’m just tired.”

“Well, I wish it wasn’t Mother’s Day and we could go see Sheep Detectives,” was his response.

Dear dear Aaron.  So oblivious to other’s feelings much of the time.

I was finally able to slip out on the patio after he was settled in his room.  It was nice to listen to the softly falling rain and the birds. 

But I thought about how many family’s plans might be disrupted on this wet beginning to Mother’s Day.

Yet we need the rain.  Feelings for many were mixed this morning, I was sure.

Mixed feelings much like I was having with Aaron on this Mother’s Day, of all days!

I love Aaron so much but on mornings like this when he interrupts my plans with his talking and his attitude, I feel frustration mounting.  He was raining on my morning!

But just like we need the rain despite the inconvenience, I often need Aaron to remind me that being his mother is a calling that God placed on my life. 

Living with Aaron isn’t all funny sayings that he comes out with that make us laugh.  It’s also repetition that gets very old…anger that tries us to the core…demands that frustrate us…worries about his health and his future that keep us awake at night….

And when despair rains down on me, though I often fail in mothering him with total grace and kindness, God doesn’t fail me.

He is always there to pick up the pieces when I break, to forgive me as I often must forgive Aaron, and to remind me of how much love He has for me and for this unique Aaron that He gave to us. 

To all of you who mother special needs children…really, children of any kind…know that God has sent the rain to grow you to be more like Him.

It’s not that he gives special children to very special parents.

It’s that He shows us very common and weak parents what a special God He is.

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Another Unkie Aaron Update

It’s been a minute since I wrote an update on Unkie Aaron and his “boy nephew,” as he calls Ryker.  And now we happily include his “girl niece.” 

And “Unkie” is still what Ryker calls Aaron…adorably so.

But first I want to begin with an object lesson from this morning.  Aaron asked me to help him straighten his stuffed animals after he got out of bed, and while I was at it to also help him get his covers in order. 

Aaron loves his Christmas blankets and wants to still have them on his bed.  He and I got his layers of sheets and blankets all straightened up just so.  He is very particular about their placement and careful to get as many wrinkles out as possible.  If I ignore this importance in Aaron’s life, I will pay with his frustration that often turns into full-blown anger.  But if I show him that I value his emphasis on what to me seems minor, his contentment is well worth the interruption that helping him has caused me. 

Sometimes this aspect of autism is very hard to remember and to value.  After all these years I still find myself rolling my eyes, sighing, and expecting Aaron to think as I think. 

Silly me.

We have had our precious grandchildren over to our house more often lately due to our son-in-law’s work schedule.  Initially, this arrangement did not go well with Aaron. 

It’s easy for us to want to say, “For crying out loud, what’s not to like?!”

Until we take a deep breath and think like Aaron thinks…or at least try to think like Aaron.

Aaron doesn’t like his routine and schedule to be disrupted any more than he likes his sheets and blankets to be jumbled and wrinkled.  A three-year-old and a one-year-old are, to Aaron, major wrinkles in his otherwise (mostly smooth) life at home.

Aaron doesn’t understand that they don’t understand what he wants and likes and needs.  It’s an enormous leap for Aaron to comprehend that Ryker thinks like a three-year-old.  Aaron has no idea what that even means. 

We can’t pick and choose what areas of Aaron’s life are affected by his autistic mind.  Every single corner of Aaron’s world is colored by how he thinks and feels and reacts, as is all of ours.

We’ve had bursts of anger from Aaron and some very trying situations. 

But we have also recently had a long stretch of Aaron looking forward to their visits. 

Aaron has been a fun buddy to Ryker more than he has been a grumpy Unkie. 

They have played fun games.

Eaten fun food.

Shot nerf guns together.

And Aaron loves for Ryker to join him in his nighttime routine of listening to sounds and watching videos of his “animal of the day.”

Aaron still examines Cora as if she is an unusual little creature to watch and learn about.

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And little Cora looks at him the same way.  We got such a kick out of her trying to mimic some of Aaron’s hand gestures.

Aaron loves to give her toys to play with, including some of our little garden creatures.

Our home is certainly not typical in many ways but in many other ways the uniqueness that Aaron brings, I do believe, will grow and shape Ryker and Cora into people who will have an innate understanding of special persons like Unkie Aaron.

They may someday be straightening Aaron’s sheets and covers while not being one bit surprised at how important this is to their Unkie Aaron.

And this ability taught to them by their Unkie Aaron will be a very rare and precious gift.

The Thanks I Get?

Yesterday Aaron and I delivered roses to his day group friends at Paradigm.  Our local Dillon’s store and our sweet friend Jody organize this special treat every year. The smiles and excitement are so much fun to see.  

Last night Aaron was cleaning out the bag he takes to Paradigm.  He came running into the kitchen holding…something.

“MOM!” he excitedly said, “this is for you!”

He held out…this.

“Victoria wanted me to give you this to say thanks for the rose today!” he explained.

It was so hard not to laugh.  

This…was an old, mangled, broken candy cane, complete with food crumbs stuck in the open spots.

Now, I know Aaron and I know with a fair degree of certainty that Victoria did NOT send me that worn out candy cane.  Aaron found it in the bottom of his messy bag and impulsively came up with what he thought was a solid story whereupon he could gift me with…this. 

Aaron’s love language is giving gifts.  

He just needs a little work sometimes on the choice of gifts he gives.

We’ve been having some rough times with Aaron.  He’s been struggling with some things that make him respond with anger toward us.  

A trait of autism is a focus on oneself because they want their world to operate in the order that gives them peace.  Interruptions to that order can cause lots of anger, taken out on me and Gary at home.

Then there’s the care that Aaron requires on so many levels, care that often ties us down and intrudes upon the way we sometimes want OUR world to go.

I’m not complaining and I hope I don’t sound selfish.  These are just the facts.  Parents of children are caregivers, and having our adult Aaron still with us is like having a child still at home.  Special needs then compound the situation a lot!

It’s easy to get mired down in the daily and to feel like all I do for Aaron is unrecognized by him, which is often true.  

Like I’m left holding onto more broken when I’ve had enough, thank you.

But one morning I was especially encouraged when I read the words of Nehemiah 5:19:

“Remember me with favor, O my God, for all that I have done for this people.”

Caregiving is so often self-sacrificing, but it’s a walk of life that honors God.  I don’t always have the right attitude, and I have anger issues sometimes, too.  

Yet so many times, during the mundane or dirty work, when I am tired and feeling very unappreciated, I remember that I am remembered. 

I am remembered by God.  He sees me.  

And everything I do, I really am to do for Him.

There are many of us working day after day after day to care for someone in our lives.  We are not on a public stage, sought after and held in high esteem.

But we are noticed by God, whom Hebrews tells us will not forget our work and labor of love we have shown for Him by helping His people.

And this…this is a promise I can hold on to when the serving is hard.  

It’s like the biggest and best thanks ever!

It’s A Matter of Time

On a recent Saturday afternoon, Gary and I were getting ready to attend an anniversary celebration for some dear friends.  Aaron was not one bit happy that we were leaving.  Who knows why?  Autistic Aaron is all about his schedule, his established routine, his expectations…

And his timing.

We were leaving the house just after 2:00.

“Mom!”  Aaron said, “can you be back by 3:00?”

“We’ll try, Aaron,” I answered.

“Or 2:59?” he added.

We smiled as we got in the car.  One minute to Aaron is a huge deal!

Later, as we walked in the house, I looked at my phone.

It was 2:57!  Yay for us!!!  

Or not.

The fact that we were two minutes early did not impress Aaron like I hoped it would.

He was instead still stewing and brewing over the fact that we left him in the first place.  

Aaron teaches me a lot about my relationship to God.  This incident was no exception.

I thought about this time issue as I read Psalm 31:14 this week.

            “My times are in Your hand.”

Short and simple, but so profound.

Aaron wanted our times to be in his hand on that Saturday.  He wanted to be in control of our coming and going.

All too often I’m that way with my life, and especially with the lives of those I love.  I say I trust God but sometimes, deep down, I want to control the timing of things I want to see happen.  

Like I’m looking at God and saying, “How about 2:59?”

Dale Davis wrote, “When he (David) speaks of ‘times’, he doesn’t mean merely his life span but all the kaleidoscope of circumstances that meet him left and right.  Calvin rightly draws attention to the plural form – “times,’ and says that David uses it to mark the variety of casualties by which the life of man is usually harassed.”

We all know that life is full of things we wish hadn’t happened, weren’t happening now, or weren’t on our horizon.

But for the follower of God…for those who can truthfully say like David did: “You are my God.” – we can follow those words with the ones that David said: “My times are in Your hand.”

And then leave it there.

“But I trust in the Lord, I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness, because You have seen my affliction; You have known the troubles of my soul, and You have not given me over into the hand of the enemy; You have set my feet in a large place.”

Notice The Flowers

I hurried into the house one afternoon with my sister-in-law.  We had been running pre-Christmas errands.  My mind was on many things that needed to be done as I hurried around the kitchen putting items away, planning which to-do item on my list to do next, talking, hanging up my coat…and then I saw them.  There in the middle of the kitchen table was a vase of beautiful flowers.  I had been scurrying all over that area but was so occupied in my busy that I didn’t even see the beauty and the love right there in front of me.

I was embarrassed.  My husband had bought those for me for no other reason than to show his love for me and I hadn’t even seen them for quite a long time.  I thanked him profusely and he just laughed.  He knows how I am at Christmas.

We’ve had some sweet ups and some rough downs with Aaron lately.  It’s a struggle for him to share his home and change his routine during Christmas.  He has had times of deep anger and strong words.  Sadly, we have in some moments reacted in the same way to him.  

We are not always the poster children for patience.

Remember the old hymn, Count Your Many Blessings?  I love the last verse.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Sometimes I’m slow to notice God’s blessings when I’m in the middle of stress and worry.  But with Aaron in particular it’s easy to get caught up in wondering when the next shoe will drop or rolling our eyes at his demand for sameness in his life at the expense of what we are doing during a very busy time.  

But really, instead of rolling my eyes so easily I need to stop and see the flowers right there in front of me…to see the progress he made during all the upheaval of Christmas.  

He happily unwrapped candy for our cookies.  See the flowers?

He loved a walk with Ryker.

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He and Ryker played games.

I don’t have pictures of other blessings.  How he shared with Ryker and Cora some of his fun toys along with as many snacks as he could.  He gave unexpected hugs and I love you’s before bed several times.  

And he was able to wait for our Christmas celebration to come later when more family could be here.  Well, mostly wait.  He did open two presents on Dec. 25 because Christmas IS ON DECEMBER 25, PEOPLE!!  

But he was all smiles on the day we did celebrate Christmas.  

All this and so much more across the board have reminded me of Psalm 103:2:

         “Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not all His benefits.”

At night when I pray with Aaron, I have started asking him to tell me one thing for which he is thankful.  It’s a good lesson for me as well as for him.

I hope these simple words today will remind you to stop and see the flowers right in front of you.  God’s benefits and blessings are around us even when all we might be seeing and feeling are the burdens.

Aaron’s Joy to The World

Today after I picked Aaron up from his day group, we went to our vision center to get Aaron’s bent glasses un-bent.  This will not be the last time we do this.

Aaron was super excited to show me the Christmas antler headband he had gotten at his day group.  Of course, he grabbed it as we left the car and put it on his head as we walked in the door to the vision center.

I saw three other people sitting in the glasses area and thought our wait would be too long so I told Aaron we should just try again tomorrow.

This Plan B of mine was not acceptable to Aaron.

The poor new-to-us receptionist that was headed around the corner to the waiting area was suddenly waylaid by Aaron before I could even grab one of his antlers.  

“HEY!” he loudly exclaimed to her.  “Can I stay and get my glasses adjusted?”

She stammered as I began to tug on Aaron’s coat while explaining to her that we would come back tomorrow because the wait might be too long.

“No,” Aaron said, “can I get my glasses fixed now?  They’re bent!”

“Well, sure,” she kindly responded, “you can get them fixed today.”

“But I think we should come tomorrow,” I began.

But Aaron was taking off his glasses and reached out to hand them to her.

“Here!!” he said, “can you fix them?”

I had to explain that she was not the glasses fixer as she went back to her chair and signed Aaron in and my fate was sealed.

“Wait!” Aaron blurted out as we sat down.  “Since we might have to wait, I need to get my sticker book out of the car.”

He was gone in a flash while I watched him from the window and hit the unlock button on my app.

The car would not unlock.

I tried again.  Aaron stood there staring at me in the window and shaking his head no.

So out the door I went, got the door unlocked, and Aaron grabbed his book before walking briskly back to the waiting room.

Just as we walked in, the technician who knows us smiled broadly as she called Aaron’s name.  

Actually, everyone knows us if I have Aaron with me.

This lady is the kindest person and she loves Aaron.  She complimented his green sparkly reindeer antlers and then asked to see his latest sticker book.  She took all the time in the world to talk to him, all the while with a huge grin on her face and true delight.  

He was already busily filling his sticker book page as she got up to go in the back and work on his glasses.  The page wouldn’t stay open, so he took the mirror on the table beside him and put it on the page to hold it open.  He acted perfectly at home to do that.  

I just relaxed in my chair.  It felt good to take a breath after our very hectic and loud entrance.  It was a big relief to be with someone who knows Aaron and who loves to talk to him.  

Aaron didn’t see anything at all amiss about his loudness.  He was totally unaware that all eyes were on him.

But me…even after all these years I still feel the eyes of the people around us and I struggle sometimes with embarrassment.

Yet I looked at Aaron sitting there, green antlers and all, with the mirror holding his book open and his eyes intent on each sticker being placed just right…

And I thought how to Aaron, everything in that moment was just right, too.  He was getting his glasses adjusted and he was talking to someone who truly was interested in his every word, and he finished the picture he had started.

I looked around and saw the other technicians smiling at Aaron and at me.  His comments were delighting them.

Aaron moved the mirror and gathered his book up after we were done.  He was up and off without even a goodbye as our friend just laughed with…joy.

That was it, I thought.  Joy.

I saw other patients smiling at us as we walked out, Aaron’s green antlers shining as he led the way to the door and the car.

There it was again as we passed them.  Joy.

It was on their faces.  I wondered what was on my face when we first came in the waiting room.  I can tell you it wasn’t joy.

There are plenty of times that Aaron exasperates me but today it did me lots of good to pause and see that Aaron does have his unique and uninhibited way of spreading his own brand of joy to others.  

I want to remember this day.

Green antlers and all.

You’re Looking for Reindeer WHAT?!

Our sweet (and funny!) friends got Aaron this exploding reindeer poop for his birthday.

He LOVES it and has had so much fun sharing it with Ryker. Recently he and I went to Walmart to buy more of the poop (REINDEER poop!).

Of course, Aaron, who loves to accost every Walmart employee within sight to ask them where something is, was on a mission.

We couldn’t locate the poop (REINDEER poop). As we walked up an aisle, Aaron began veering toward a woman in the unmistakable blue Walmart vest.

Me: AARON! Do NOT ask anyone where the reindeer poop is. We can find it ourselves.

We had already looked in one section of Christmas supplies without success. Soon I saw an employee walking our way.

Me: Excuse me, I have a question…..

Aaron: We’re looking for the reindeer poop! Can you tell us where it is?

Me: Aaron, HUSH!

Me (trying again): Is there another section of Christmas decor and so forth?

He was able to answer my question despite his confusion and on our way we went, with me ordering Aaron in no uncertain terms to NOT ask any other poor innocent employees for help finding reindeer poop.

Soon we were in the garden section, scouring the Christmas aisles for reindeer poop, when there stood an unsuspecting blue-vested Walmart employee with a smile on her face. A smile which Aaron took for an open invitation to ask the dreaded question.

Aaron: HEY! Do you know where the reindeer poop is?

Me: AARON!

Aaron: I’m just trying to help us find the reindeer poop.

So I felt the urgent need to do some explaining about reindeer poop while she told us where it might be and I continued with my explanation more fully while Aaron briskly walked toward, hopefully, reindeer poop.

I hurried to catch up with him.

Me: AARON! I will find the reindeer poop!!

We did locate it, finally. Aaron was super excited and rubbed his hands together furiously while I carried the poop prize to self-checkout.

Hey, if any of you want to buy some exploding reindeer poop I can lend Aaron to you. He’ll help you find it or find who will.

I dare you. 🤣💩🦌