Category: Relationships

Being Aaron’s Mother

I was awake early this morning, looking forward to coffee and quiet time before the busy start of the day began.

But just as I was climbing out of bed, so was You-Know-Who.

I thought maybe he would just go to the bathroom and back to bed.  But that hope was dashed when I heard him turn on his lamp that sits on his nightstand.  Turning that lamp on usually means he’s up to stay.

No sooner was I downstairs with my cup of coffee than I heard his familiar thump-thump-thump down the stairs. There he stood beside the table, staring at me.

I smiled and wondered if he could tell my heart wasn’t in it.

“Hey Aaron,” I said.  “It’s early and you could still sleep some.  Do you want to go back to bed?”

“No,” he replied.  “I want my coffee.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. 

“Yes,” he repeated. 

I gave him a playful look along with a little laugh.

“Don’t laugh at me!” he angrily said.  “I don’t like to be laughed at!”

And we were off and running. 

I tried to explain the difference in teasing and being rude for what I’m sure must be the millionth- something time.

And for the millionth-something time Aaron didn’t get it.

He proceeded then to come downstairs repeatedly to talk…about anything and everything.

How we didn’t pay him his allowance last night.  How barracuda live in the deep ocean and why do unmanned submersibles have to go down deep?  How long will it rain?  Can you show me on the radar?  I think I need to change clothes because it’s cold so can you pick out new ones for me?  I’m hungry.  Can I have some sausage?  Can you fix my stuffed animals in my bed?  We can’t go see Sheep Detectives at the theater since it might be crowded today so when will it be a day that’s not Mother’s Day that we can go see it.  And so forth and so on and on and on and on….

I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asked.

“Oh, nothing,” I answered.  “I’m just tired.”

“Well, I wish it wasn’t Mother’s Day and we could go see Sheep Detectives,” was his response.

Dear dear Aaron.  So oblivious to other’s feelings much of the time.

I was finally able to slip out on the patio after he was settled in his room.  It was nice to listen to the softly falling rain and the birds. 

But I thought about how many family’s plans might be disrupted on this wet beginning to Mother’s Day.

Yet we need the rain.  Feelings for many were mixed this morning, I was sure.

Mixed feelings much like I was having with Aaron on this Mother’s Day, of all days!

I love Aaron so much but on mornings like this when he interrupts my plans with his talking and his attitude, I feel frustration mounting.  He was raining on my morning!

But just like we need the rain despite the inconvenience, I often need Aaron to remind me that being his mother is a calling that God placed on my life. 

Living with Aaron isn’t all funny sayings that he comes out with that make us laugh.  It’s also repetition that gets very old…anger that tries us to the core…demands that frustrate us…worries about his health and his future that keep us awake at night….

And when despair rains down on me, though I often fail in mothering him with total grace and kindness, God doesn’t fail me.

He is always there to pick up the pieces when I break, to forgive me as I often must forgive Aaron, and to remind me of how much love He has for me and for this unique Aaron that He gave to us. 

To all of you who mother special needs children…really, children of any kind…know that God has sent the rain to grow you to be more like Him.

It’s not that he gives special children to very special parents.

It’s that He shows us very common and weak parents what a special God He is.

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Another Unkie Aaron Update

It’s been a minute since I wrote an update on Unkie Aaron and his “boy nephew,” as he calls Ryker.  And now we happily include his “girl niece.” 

And “Unkie” is still what Ryker calls Aaron…adorably so.

But first I want to begin with an object lesson from this morning.  Aaron asked me to help him straighten his stuffed animals after he got out of bed, and while I was at it to also help him get his covers in order. 

Aaron loves his Christmas blankets and wants to still have them on his bed.  He and I got his layers of sheets and blankets all straightened up just so.  He is very particular about their placement and careful to get as many wrinkles out as possible.  If I ignore this importance in Aaron’s life, I will pay with his frustration that often turns into full-blown anger.  But if I show him that I value his emphasis on what to me seems minor, his contentment is well worth the interruption that helping him has caused me. 

Sometimes this aspect of autism is very hard to remember and to value.  After all these years I still find myself rolling my eyes, sighing, and expecting Aaron to think as I think. 

Silly me.

We have had our precious grandchildren over to our house more often lately due to our son-in-law’s work schedule.  Initially, this arrangement did not go well with Aaron. 

It’s easy for us to want to say, “For crying out loud, what’s not to like?!”

Until we take a deep breath and think like Aaron thinks…or at least try to think like Aaron.

Aaron doesn’t like his routine and schedule to be disrupted any more than he likes his sheets and blankets to be jumbled and wrinkled.  A three-year-old and a one-year-old are, to Aaron, major wrinkles in his otherwise (mostly smooth) life at home.

Aaron doesn’t understand that they don’t understand what he wants and likes and needs.  It’s an enormous leap for Aaron to comprehend that Ryker thinks like a three-year-old.  Aaron has no idea what that even means. 

We can’t pick and choose what areas of Aaron’s life are affected by his autistic mind.  Every single corner of Aaron’s world is colored by how he thinks and feels and reacts, as is all of ours.

We’ve had bursts of anger from Aaron and some very trying situations. 

But we have also recently had a long stretch of Aaron looking forward to their visits. 

Aaron has been a fun buddy to Ryker more than he has been a grumpy Unkie. 

They have played fun games.

Eaten fun food.

Shot nerf guns together.

And Aaron loves for Ryker to join him in his nighttime routine of listening to sounds and watching videos of his “animal of the day.”

Aaron still examines Cora as if she is an unusual little creature to watch and learn about.

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And little Cora looks at him the same way.  We got such a kick out of her trying to mimic some of Aaron’s hand gestures.

Aaron loves to give her toys to play with, including some of our little garden creatures.

Our home is certainly not typical in many ways but in many other ways the uniqueness that Aaron brings, I do believe, will grow and shape Ryker and Cora into people who will have an innate understanding of special persons like Unkie Aaron.

They may someday be straightening Aaron’s sheets and covers while not being one bit surprised at how important this is to their Unkie Aaron.

And this ability taught to them by their Unkie Aaron will be a very rare and precious gift.

Notice The Flowers

I hurried into the house one afternoon with my sister-in-law.  We had been running pre-Christmas errands.  My mind was on many things that needed to be done as I hurried around the kitchen putting items away, planning which to-do item on my list to do next, talking, hanging up my coat…and then I saw them.  There in the middle of the kitchen table was a vase of beautiful flowers.  I had been scurrying all over that area but was so occupied in my busy that I didn’t even see the beauty and the love right there in front of me.

I was embarrassed.  My husband had bought those for me for no other reason than to show his love for me and I hadn’t even seen them for quite a long time.  I thanked him profusely and he just laughed.  He knows how I am at Christmas.

We’ve had some sweet ups and some rough downs with Aaron lately.  It’s a struggle for him to share his home and change his routine during Christmas.  He has had times of deep anger and strong words.  Sadly, we have in some moments reacted in the same way to him.  

We are not always the poster children for patience.

Remember the old hymn, Count Your Many Blessings?  I love the last verse.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Sometimes I’m slow to notice God’s blessings when I’m in the middle of stress and worry.  But with Aaron in particular it’s easy to get caught up in wondering when the next shoe will drop or rolling our eyes at his demand for sameness in his life at the expense of what we are doing during a very busy time.  

But really, instead of rolling my eyes so easily I need to stop and see the flowers right there in front of me…to see the progress he made during all the upheaval of Christmas.  

He happily unwrapped candy for our cookies.  See the flowers?

He loved a walk with Ryker.

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He and Ryker played games.

I don’t have pictures of other blessings.  How he shared with Ryker and Cora some of his fun toys along with as many snacks as he could.  He gave unexpected hugs and I love you’s before bed several times.  

And he was able to wait for our Christmas celebration to come later when more family could be here.  Well, mostly wait.  He did open two presents on Dec. 25 because Christmas IS ON DECEMBER 25, PEOPLE!!  

But he was all smiles on the day we did celebrate Christmas.  

All this and so much more across the board have reminded me of Psalm 103:2:

         “Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not all His benefits.”

At night when I pray with Aaron, I have started asking him to tell me one thing for which he is thankful.  It’s a good lesson for me as well as for him.

I hope these simple words today will remind you to stop and see the flowers right in front of you.  God’s benefits and blessings are around us even when all we might be seeing and feeling are the burdens.

Aaron’s Lost Order

One day last week our exterminator was coming.  Aaron’s favorite storage place is his bedroom floor, so I had reminded him to clear his floor before we left the house.  

Soon a very upset Aaron came bounding up to me.

“Mom!!” he angrily said, “I lost the order of books!!”

When I walked into his room, I saw this.

His large stack of books had taken a tumble, ruining the careful order that Aaron had put them in.

I knew not to dismiss what to us would be no big deal.  To Aaron, this mayhem was a HUGE deal.

We got the books put on his bed as I assured him that he could restore the order when he came home later that day.

This is a perfect picture of our life with Aaron, more so lately than perhaps ever before.

Aaron has a rhythm to his life that he creates.  His routines and methods are vital to his happiness.  

We know better than to discount his routines.

There is always a balance in our life with Aaron as we seek to help him manage disruptions while at the same time validating his concerns…concerns of his that can lead to serious anger outbursts from him, which in turn lead to disruptions in our life.

Sadly, Aaron isn’t concerned about the effects he has on us.  Autism often manifests itself as narcissism in Aaron and in most others that I know who struggle with this condition. 

I have always said that physical disabilities are much easier understood than behavioral ones.

For instance, we have sadness and sympathy for Aaron when he has seizures.  The interruptions in our life that seizures might cause when we must change plans are clearly understood.

But when Aaron loses the order in his life that he has created he reacts with anger that sometimes becomes rage.  Nothing we say or do at that point has much if any effect.

I know when Aaron has a seizure that I can’t tell him to just wake up and come take a walk with me.  He understandably is unable to do that.

But I must also know that when Aaron has an emotional meltdown over something that has upset him, I can’t tell him to just get over it and stop being ridiculous.  He understandably is unable to do that either.

Except most of the time, at least on paper, his behaviors at those times are not understandable to most people.

My husband and I understand what is upsetting Aaron, most of the time, better than anybody.  

But again, those behaviors of his…goodness, they take a toll on us some days.

Autism surely is full of puzzle pieces, but we don’t have a picture on the box to tell us what the finished puzzle will look like.

And the pieces keep getting rearranged as Aaron’s order from day to day gets lost in one way or another.

Sometimes, though, a sweet picture starts taking shape from all those random pieces that we’re trying to fit together.

Despite lots of anger lately about having to fit his precious nephew and niece into his life and how their being here at our house causes his order to be mostly lost, he does often pull it together and shows his caring side.

Saturday evening, I watched Ryker climb up on Aaron’s bed and hand Aaron his current favorite Golden Book.

Aaron took the book and started reading Goldilocks and The Three Bears.  

When I read that book to Ryker, I use all the voices.  Papa Bear has a deep voice.  Mama Bear has a medium voice.  Baby bear has a little baby voice.  Ryker does the same when he “reads” it to us.  

When I read it to Ryker, though, we don’t make it through the whole book in one sitting because Ryker is soon off and running to his next adventure.

So, there was Aaron propped up in bed with Ryker kneeling on the bed nearby staring at him.  Aaron began to read Goldilocks and The Three Bears.

Except Aaron read the story with no inflection in his voice…no deep voice or medium voice or baby voice.  

No excitement.  No change in his voice when he read a question.  

Just a monotone monologue.  It was really hilarious.

And Ryker didn’t move a muscle.

Maybe he was in shock.  I have no idea.

But for the first time that I have seen at our house, Ryker let Aaron read the whole book.

I think Ryker senses a difference in Aaron but in his innocence, he accepts his Unkie Aaron just the way he is.

Oh, that we could all do the same!

Especially when Aaron’s life, like his stack of books, has lost its order and we think we might lose our minds.

Ryker let Aaron finish reading his book.

Sometimes we need to let Aaron finish his book with us, too…to try to understand him as we listen to his anger and his words.

To accept Aaron as he is while still trying to teach him and show him that there are other ways to manage life when he loses his order of books.

Uncie Aaron…His Buddy and His Burden

Time waits on no man, Chaucer said.  Time waits on no child, either.  We see this clearly as we watch Ryker growing.  Pictures from a few months ago compared to now show his physical growth.  New words and speaking in sentences show his intellectual growth.  

It brings joy mixed with a dose of sadness as all parents and grandparents know very well.

Ryker and Aaron’s relationship is also growing with time.  We have seen great strides on Aaron’s part in his friendship with his little nephew.  

Sometimes Aaron sees Ryker as his buddy.

Aaron still loves giving Ryker snacks.

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He didn’t even mind Ryker taking his favorite chair one day.

They play funny make-believe games.

Wear goofy hats of Aaron’s.

Watch cars zoom down the track.

Do chalk drawings.

Laugh at silly cartoons.

Thoroughly enjoy water balloons.

Blow dandelions.

Play music.

Occasionally share the playset.

Fly a plane.

And one of the best is when they watched our fireworks on the Fourth.

It’s just the cutest thing to see Aaron look at Ryker and say, “Ryker!  Come on!”  Then to see Ryker bolt as fast as he can on his little legs to run with Aaron up the stairs to Aaron’s room where all sorts of fun and unique gadgets await his exploration.  

And snacks that are new to Ryker!  Dots!  Red Hots!  Pistachios! 

And gum!  

So, you can see that we must monitor things closely, sometimes much to Aaron and Ryker’s frustration.

But for all the positive steps forward, Aaron still carries the burden of his autistic way of processing his world and how others impact it.

Aaron sends mixed signals to Ryker.  One minute he might be happily allowing Ryker to play with one of his cool toys and the next he might yell no to Ryker for touching another treasured item.  

Aaron can be hurtful with his words during those times, and inappropriate.  

Therefore, we must also monitor those moments as we try to foresee certain triggers that might upset Aaron.  We’re just never totally in the clear and probably never will be.

Yet, again, the progress Aaron has made truly gives us much for which to thank the Lord.  

The challenges cause us to seek God’s patience and wisdom as well.

Speaking of prayer, this has been one of the sweetest and funniest areas of Uncie Aaron and Ryker’s relationship.  

Aaron has never forgotten a silly prayer that he heard in an old Don Knott’s movie when he was a child.  He sometimes yells it out when we get ready to ask the blessing before eating.

“Rub-a-dub-dub!!  Thanks for the grub!!” 

No amount of correction on our part has kept Aaron from blurting that out sometimes.  So, you guessed it.  One day as we all sat at the table and joined hands, Aaron gleefully yelled, “Rub-a-dub-dub!”

And Ryker, without missing a beat, chirped “Rub-a-dub-dub!!”

Let’s close our eyes to pray now…and let the adults grin real big!

Every night as part of Aaron’s bedtime routine, we join hands and pray.  Ryker has joined us before.  One night I asked Ryker if he wanted to pray with us, so he scurried up on the bed, took our hands, and immediately launched into his own prayer.  We didn’t understand much of what he said, but it was precious in God’s eyes, I know, and certainly in ours.  

Andrea shared with us Ryker’s prayer one night at their house.  I had come over to help with the baby.  Laying in his bed before he went to sleep, Ryker prayed:

“Dear Jesus, dank you Gramoo.  Dank you Uncie Aaron.  Dank you donuts.”

Out of the mouths of babes.

Dear Jesus, dank you Uncie Aaron.  Even in the frustrations…the continual training that sometimes never seems to take hold…the corrections…the monitoring…

May we see the joy he also brings…the laughter…the delight at the simplest things that we often overlook.

And the huge progress he’s made in his role as Uncie Aaron.

Let’s not forget donuts!

Rub-a-dub-dub!!

Uncle Aaron and His Nephew Boy

Time for another installment in the ongoing saga of Uncle Aaron and Ryker, aka Nephew Boy.

Our exterminator, whom we’ve known for years, was at our house not long ago.  Aaron captured him…well, not literally but verbally…and decided to talk to him about Ryker.

“My nephew boy,” Aaron began and proceeded to tell George some news about Ryker.

“I have a nephew boy,” Aaron continued.  “Do you have a nephew boy?”

George did a great job of not laughing although the twitch in his mouth spoke volumes to us.  

I know why Aaron called Ryker his nephew boy.  It’s because soon our daughter will have a baby girl and so we have told Aaron that this little girl will be his niece…that a boy is a nephew, and a girl is a niece.  So, for that conversation, Ryker was Aaron’s nephew boy.

Aaron has come to accept and enjoy Ryker in a way that mostly warms our hearts.  I say mostly because there are still occasions when Aaron will get jealous at something we’re saying or doing with Ryker.

“You don’t do that with ME!” Aaron will say in a huff. 

And one day Aaron, for whatever unknown reason, got upset about his position in life.

“I don’t want to be the uncle,” he angrily asserted.

“But Aaron,” I replied, “you’re the uncle because you’re Andrea’s brother.  You can’t change that.”

“Well,” he said, “she MADE me be the uncle.  She didn’t ASK me!”

We’ve learned it’s best at these times to mostly listen and not try to reason too much with Aaron.  He eventually settles down and before long will probably be asking when Ryker is coming over again.

Of course, at this point Ryker is unaware of any animus from his Uncle Aaron.  Ryker is still at that precious innocent age when he loves everyone…and that definitely includes his Uncle Aaron.  He finds Aaron to be very fascinating and fun.  

Aaron gives Ryker lots of snacks.

Aaron lets Ryker see his really cool toys and gadgets.

Aaron’s room is the BEST place in the house!  There’s a jellyfish lamp and all sorts of squishy balls and flashlights and a frog light with glowing eyes and oh, so much more!

What’s NOT to love about Uncle Aaron?

Aaron is equally fascinated as he watches Ryker learn and grow, respond to him and talk, and eat.  Definitely eat!

Aaron gets right down on the floor with Ryker and watches him with great interest.

Ryker claps his hands when Aaron claps or yells like his Uncle Aaron when Aaron is in his room and lets out one of his funny loud sounds.

Ryker will have so much to learn about his special Uncle Aaron as the years go by.  We know there will be ups and downs with all that process, on both sides.  

It really won’t be that much longer before Ryker outgrows Aaron on every level.  I thought about that after I took a picture of Ryker and Aaron in our car.  Ryker loves sitting in the driver’s seat, turning the steering wheel and punching all the buttons.  

And there sat Aaron, always in the passenger’s seat, having fun watching Ryker play like he was driving.  

Aaron will never be in the driver’s seat.  

But one day Ryker will be.  

 I thought about how some day Ryker will perhaps be driving Aaron to Dairy Queen for his favorite Choco Extreme Blizzard or to Walmart to scour the aisles for a special treat.  

And I pray that God will use Aaron to enrich Ryker in ways that can only happen with a special person like his Uncle Aaron in his life.  

Rocks or Popcorn

Aaron loves rocks that he thinks are unusual.  Outside his day group, along the curb, are landscape rocks.  They grow much easier than grass.  Unless you have an Aaron, who eyeballs the rocks every day in search of THE one…or more than one…that he will pocket on that day.  The rocks are slowly dwindling with Aaron around, no matter how many times we tell him that he should not take…aka steal…any rocks.

These rocks have value to Aaron.  Some he thinks are diamonds or crystals even though we tell him they are not diamonds or crystals.  We tell him they are just normal rocks that need to stay in their rock home.  Still, he gathers the rocks and lately has been putting them in a large storage bag.

Tomorrow my husband is having shoulder replacement surgery.  We have kept this low key in order not to worry Aaron.  Aaron would be more worried about how this big change in our normal day would affect him instead of Gary but still, worry is worry.  

Or so we thought.

Last night, Aaron went into Gary’s study and handed Gary his bag of special rocks.

“Here, Dad,” Aaron said as he handed Gary the bag.  “I want you to take these to the hospital.”

Gary was so touched.  And he responded with such wisdom.

“Well, Aaron,” he replied, “I might be confused because of the drugs and think those rocks are candy.  If I ate one, I could break a tooth.”

Aaron thought for a second, took back the bag of rocks, and went up to his room.

Soon, he came back down.  He found Gary in the garage and handed him instead his bag of cheese popcorn that he was saving.  

“Here,” Aaron said again.  “I want you to take THIS to the hospital.”

Aaron’s love language has always been giving things to others.  In this case, Aaron won’t verbalize that he is concerned for his dad.  He probably won’t tell Gary that he hopes the surgery goes well.  He many even get frustrated during Gary’s long recovery at home because of the effects it will have on him and what he expects from Gary.

But we have a bag of cheese popcorn that speaks volumes to us of how much Aaron really does care.

And that’s as valuable to us as…as…diamond rocks!

Lessons From the Icicles

 

It’s been another very mild and very dry winter here in Kansas.  It’s felt and even looked more like spring than winter this year.  While it’s been nice not to find ourselves maneuvering over slick roads, we do need some moisture.  And boy, did we get it!  A huge storm plowed into Kansas this week, leaving us in our part of the state with at least 14 inches of beautiful snow.  We woke up to a world of glimmer as the sun shone brightly on the newly fallen snow.  The ground is encased in a sparkly white wrap, fresh and mostly untouched in our big back yard. 
 
I also noticed another result of our massive snow storm as I looked out of our upstairs windows.  There hang long rows of icicles.  They have their own unique beauty, all clear and shiny like hanging crystals.  No two seem to be the same shape as the once dripping water has frozen into various forms and sizes.  Icicles are fascinating to observe and can be very pretty when the sun is shining on them, causing them to gleam in the light.  But icicles also have another aspect.  They can be sharp and dangerous as well. 
  
This morning I saw that the icicles hanging on the front of our house were starting to drip.  They were melting because they were facing east, where the morning sun was beating down upon them.  There was not a cloud in the sky and even though the temperature was cold, the warmth of the sun was still able to reach into their icy coverings and begin the melting process. 
Soon I walked into another bedroom on the west side of our house, where the sun was not yet reaching.  There hung another long row of icicles, still firm and cold in the shadow of the morning.  The sun had not yet touched these frozen fingers of ice, so they were still solid and stiff.  They didn’t really even appear as shiny and beautiful as the icicles that were being touched by the sun.  These hanging jabs of ice seemed colder, even more harsh, than the icicles in the front that were warming in the sun.
 
These icicles reminded me of some of the lingering results of personal storms in my  life…….especially times that have involved the hurt inflicted by others.  I imagine that you have had those hurts as well.  We all experience that pain at some point in our lives.  If we’re not careful, those wounds can develop into icy slivers of bitterness in our hearts.  Where there was once the flowing warmth of relationship there is now the frozen stab of disappointment that has pierced our heart.  Sometimes the situation is private and no one knows about it but us.  Other times the hurt is very public and embarrassing, misunderstood and whispered about by others.  The results are the same, though.  The pain created by these wounds is still very intense regardless of how they occur.
 
Solomon wrote about these matters.  In Proverbs 14:10 he said, “The heart knows its own bitterness…..”  No one but us knows what is in our hearts.  We may appear to be fine and normal to others, but those icy shards of bitterness have frozen our hearts.  We dwell on the situation and rehash the hurtful words and scenarios over and over again.  Our heart knows its bitterness, so very well, and we become numb in our pain……….and numb to the other Person who also knows what is in our heart.  God knows…..and He does care very much about that chill that has encased us and frozen us. 
 
In Ephesians 4:31-32, there are several sins that God tells us to put away.  The first one listed is bitterness.  Then God says to “……be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other…..”  So how can I be kind and tender and forgiving to those that have hurt me so deeply?  How can my heart be warmed again when it is so frozen with injustice and pain?   Well, it’s not easy, but God tells us here that the first way to start is to remember that we are to forgive “……..just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”     How can I be unforgiving when I have been SO forgiven by God?  I am forgiven……..and I must be forgiving to others. 
 
When I take this first step and realize my position in Christ, then His light will begin to thaw that immobile, cold heart of mine.  Forgiveness here carries the idea of releasing.  I need to constantly release to God the people and the situations that have so chilled my heart.  Let Him bear my pain and let Him warm my cold heart.  And if those people are still present in my life, then I am to show kindness and tenderness.  Look for ways to serve, to be kind, and to be tender hearted……..not hard hearted with a frozen heart but to be tender and loving.  It’s not easy, but God will enable and give grace to do what is the most difficult. 
 
Soon l will hear a dripping noise and realize that my once solid, icy heart is thawing out under the warmth of God’s love and His enabling.  He won’t force me to allow His light to shine in my inner being, but if I open that door and allow Him in, then the melting will begin.  Slowly but surely the damaging icicles will dissolve as I focus, not on the other person or on the pain that they have caused, but as I focus on the light of God’s forgiveness and love in my once cold heart.

 

 
Shine Your light in my heart, O God, and let the melting begin!

Big News and A Fun Fall

Time for another update!  First, the big news…news that some of you know and some don’t, so I get the joy of sharing it again.

Our daughter, Andrea, came over one day with a gift bag for us.  I was puzzled as I took out this framed picture.

Puzzlement turned to pure joy as we realized what it meant.  As Aaron says, “We’re going to have another baby!!”  We’re so happy and so thankful for God’s great blessing.  

Then several weeks later, another surprise.  We were given a pumpkin and inside…well, see for yourself.

Now Aaron tells everyone, “We’re having another baby.  My sister is having a GIRL!!  I’m scared to have a GIRL!!”  🙂 

We’ve been having a beautiful fall.  We got to introduce Ryker to the fun of jumping in leaves. 

Then Aaron wanted to lead us on a walk around our neighborhood pond.  It was really a precious time of Ryker happily following Aaron, and Aaron turning around to keep an eye on Ryker. 

 Ryker now says Aaron’s name fully and clearly.  He absolutely loves his fun Uncle Aaron.  And Aaron is responding with more interactions and smiles.  We do not take this for granted.  All of us are so very happy and thankful for the loving progress that has been made.  

Another very fun event was taking Ryker trick-or-treating in our neighborhood.  We didn’t know if he would wear his outfit, but he did, and he loved every minute of it.  Of course, this Gramoo was smiling from ear to ear at our adorable little cow!

But another precious part of the evening was that Aaron really wanted to go along.  He wore his Pharaoh costume from two years ago and was as eager as a young child.  

I wondered if anyone would question it when they saw a bearded, balding man at their door.  Thankfully, everyone was kind as could be and Aaron had so much fun. He and Ryker going trick-or-treating together was just another very sweet time.  

Aaron turned 40 this month!  He doesn’t see the significance of that at all.  It’s neat that age doesn’t mean a thing to him.  He doesn’t focus on the fact that he’s the oldest in our family and he doesn’t compare himself to his siblings in the sense of life events or accomplishments.  That’s a real blessing indeed.

I have mentioned thankfulness in this blog several times.  We truly are thankful for every blessing, for every step of progress with Aaron, and even for the steps backward that are an inevitable part of Aaron’s life.  

We are forever grateful for the love of family and for the joy of time together. Thankful, too, for friends like many of you who love and pray for us. 

 And for the certainty that God will guide us in each day and year ahead.

Uncle “Awa” Update

Once again, it is way past time for a family update.  Lack of time and often no lack of tiredness sure make it hard to write like I want.  Or like I used to long ago.  Anyway, here I am at last.

Can you tell from my title what sweet news we have about Uncle Aaron?  This past Saturday evening at supper, Ryker started pointing to Aaron and saying, “Awa.”  He did it over and over and was so happy at our reaction.  Aaron was his typical unemotional self, but Ryker didn’t care.  He kept pointing at Uncle Aaron and saying “Awa.”  And he didn’t want Aaron to leave the table.  

We could tell, though, that Aaron was pleased and later he told me that it made him happy.  He told his staff at his day group, too…a sure sign that it makes him feel special.  It was such a sweet and heartwarming moment to see Ryker saying Aaron’s name in his own precious little way.  

Aaron still likes to share with Ryker, and is playing more with him, too.  It’s mostly playing in small ways but it’s a good start and shows that Aaron is getting more comfortable with his little nephew.

Aaron claps quite often, and often those claps are ear splitting.  I’m sure he could win a clapping contest, hands down!  (Sorry.  That was corny.) Ryker watches Aaron closely and has now started copying Aaron when he claps.  First comes Aaron’s super loud claps, followed by Ryker’s little baby claps.  And then come lots of smiles from all of us.

One day Aaron let out his deep “Ho Ho Ho” laugh and Ryker suddenly copied it perfectly.  It was hilarious!

Last week we went over to Andrea and Kyle’s, stopping on the way to pick up some burgers.  Aaron saw the BK crowns on the counter and asked the worker if he could have one for Ryker.  This young man happily said yes and then offered one to Aaron.  It was another sweet gesture from Aaron to Ryker.  

Aaron still has his moments of uncertainty and jealousy, evident in the statement we hear the most when Ryker is here:  “You don’t say that to me.”  

Or:  “You don’t bounce with me.”  

And here’s one, said after I commented that Ryker is adorable:  “Do you think I’m adorable?”

We always assure Aaron of our love and call to his attention the ways that we show him that love in an adult way.  There are times we are still walking on eggs with him when Ryker is here.  Aaron does love our full attention and to share with anyone else, not just Ryker, often goes against his grain, especially if that sharing interferes with Aaron’s sacred schedule.

But all in all, we see huge improvement and it’s truly a cause for praise to the Lord as well as being sure to praise Aaron for ways that he is being nice to Ryker.

And we have one more bit of great news.  Andrea gave us this picture a couple weeks ago.

Ryker will be a big brother next May!!

We are thrilled and so very thankful!

Aaron is not quite as thrilled, but he isn’t totally against the idea, either.  He has told people that he doesn’t want Andrea to have another baby but then he tells others about the coming baby in an excited way.

Typical Aaron, up and down, depending on the moment.

Typical me and Gary, depending on the Lord for patience and wisdom, which we do not always show.  

But remembering to be thankful for every victory and every bit of good news.

Uncle Awa.  

That’s some very sweet news right there, times two!