It’s been a minute since I wrote an update on Unkie Aaron and his “boy nephew,” as he calls Ryker. And now we happily include his “girl niece.”
And “Unkie” is still what Ryker calls Aaron…adorably so.
But first I want to begin with an object lesson from this morning. Aaron asked me to help him straighten his stuffed animals after he got out of bed, and while I was at it to also help him get his covers in order.
Aaron loves his Christmas blankets and wants to still have them on his bed. He and I got his layers of sheets and blankets all straightened up just so. He is very particular about their placement and careful to get as many wrinkles out as possible. If I ignore this importance in Aaron’s life, I will pay with his frustration that often turns into full-blown anger. But if I show him that I value his emphasis on what to me seems minor, his contentment is well worth the interruption that helping him has caused me.
Sometimes this aspect of autism is very hard to remember and to value. After all these years I still find myself rolling my eyes, sighing, and expecting Aaron to think as I think.
Silly me.
We have had our precious grandchildren over to our house more often lately due to our son-in-law’s work schedule. Initially, this arrangement did not go well with Aaron.
It’s easy for us to want to say, “For crying out loud, what’s not to like?!”
Until we take a deep breath and think like Aaron thinks…or at least try to think like Aaron.
Aaron doesn’t like his routine and schedule to be disrupted any more than he likes his sheets and blankets to be jumbled and wrinkled. A three-year-old and a one-year-old are, to Aaron, major wrinkles in his otherwise (mostly smooth) life at home.
Aaron doesn’t understand that they don’t understand what he wants and likes and needs. It’s an enormous leap for Aaron to comprehend that Ryker thinks like a three-year-old. Aaron has no idea what that even means.
We can’t pick and choose what areas of Aaron’s life are affected by his autistic mind. Every single corner of Aaron’s world is colored by how he thinks and feels and reacts, as is all of ours.
We’ve had bursts of anger from Aaron and some very trying situations.
But we have also recently had a long stretch of Aaron looking forward to their visits.
Aaron has been a fun buddy to Ryker more than he has been a grumpy Unkie.
They have played fun games.
Eaten fun food.
Shot nerf guns together.
And Aaron loves for Ryker to join him in his nighttime routine of listening to sounds and watching videos of his “animal of the day.”
Aaron still examines Cora as if she is an unusual little creature to watch and learn about.
And little Cora looks at him the same way. We got such a kick out of her trying to mimic some of Aaron’s hand gestures.
Aaron loves to give her toys to play with, including some of our little garden creatures.
Our home is certainly not typical in many ways but in many other ways the uniqueness that Aaron brings, I do believe, will grow and shape Ryker and Cora into people who will have an innate understanding of special persons like Unkie Aaron.
They may someday be straightening Aaron’s sheets and covers while not being one bit surprised at how important this is to their Unkie Aaron.
And this ability taught to them by their Unkie Aaron will be a very rare and precious gift.
He Said What?! 