Aaron’s Talking Points

Here are some long overdue Aaron sayings that I have collected over the years. I hope they bring a smile to you as they do to us!

I just got Aaron and me some Pork Fried Rice at Good Fortune. They let Aaron have some extra fortune cookies. He watched me setting out the rice and then asked, “Mom, do you have the wishing cookies?” 😃

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Aaron: “Dad and I went to Menards while you were gone. I didn’t like it.” So I asked him why he didn’t like it. “Because it smelled like house things!!” Makes me wanna go sniff around Menards again!

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Aaron, who prefers scrambled eggs, stared at his fried egg this morning. “Mom, I don’t really like eggs like this. They’re too yolky.”

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After a trip to the hardware store with Gary:

Aaron: “Guess what Dad and I saw at Ace Hardware?”

Me: “I don’t know. What did you see?”

Aaron: “We saw seeds that go to spinach!!”

Me: “Did you really?!”

Aaron: “Yes!! The picture on the front of the seeds had an impression of a bush!!”

Aaron’s world is always full of discovery!

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Aaron saw a dog on a commercial, and was reminded of poodles. He told me that he doesn’t like poodles because they’re ugly. I told him they are NOT ugly and asked why he would think that.

Aaron: “Well, their fur is all twisted!”

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After a shopping trip yesterday with his group, Aaron came home and excitedly said, “Mom! We saw a place where you can go take a tan!” Well, I guess if we can take a break, take a walk, or take a swim – then it makes sense to take a tan!

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Today Aaron said, “Mom, John hit his finger with a hammer and his skin crumbled!” OUCH!! I personally hate it when my skin crumbles!

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Every time Aaron and I go into a store, he immediately starts looking for an employee that he can talk to – especially to ask this lucky person where something is. He and I can be standing next to a big mountain of fat watermelons, and if Aaron sees an employee nearby, this happens:

Aaron: HEY!!!!

Startled employee looks up, some concern on their face.

Aaron: Do you have watermelons?!!

Me (While apologizing to startled employee): Aaron! You don’t need to ask him about watermelons. They’re right here, and even if they weren’t, we could still find them!

Now, every time we walk into a store, I tell Aaron not to ask the worker’s any questions. Period. No questions to poor unsuspecting workers!

After I picked Aaron up today from Paradigm, we went into Wal-Mart. I gave Aaron the usual instructions about not asking the workers to help him. Of course, later we were looking for peanuts and couldn’t find them anywhere. I knew Aaron was on the lookout for someone to ask, someone wearing a Wal-Mart vest. Therefore, as I headed to another aisle for something, I gave Aaron the warning about not asking for help.

It wasn’t long, in the other aisle, before Aaron came walking briskly toward me.

“MOM!!! I asked a NORMAL person, and they said the peanuts are in aisle 15!!!!”

So now do I tell Aaron not to ask Wal-Mart workers OR normal people for help? Doesn’t sound good, somehow. 🤔😄

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I just took Aaron on our Friday Walmart “See What Treasures Aaron Can Find” trip. He wanted to go to electronics while I looked for a few other things. My looking for other things took a bit longer that I had planned – partly because of helping an older and very frustrated man find Shake ‘N Bake – but I finally made my way to electronics.

As I turned to head up the center aisle, there stood Aaron a ways off, eyes crinkled in a huge smile when he saw me…a smile that I could “see” even from under his mask. He quickly hid something behind his back and I could hear his chuckle from yards away.

As I walked up to where he stood beside a movie DVD display, he excitedly showed me that behind his back he was holding the ET movie that he’s been wanting. But I also noticed a stack of items on the floor where we were standing. As I looked down at them, I instantly knew that Aaron had been on his own shopping spree by himself.

There on the floor were 3 boxes of Good and Plentys; a box of microwave popcorn; another box of microwave popcorn with LOTS of butter that I don’t let him buy (but hope springs eternal with Aaron); AND a salt lamp. Yes! A salt lamp!! 😂

The extra buttered popcorn and the salt lamp are safely back on the shelves, but Aaron still made out pretty well with his stash. One of the questions at his yearly BASIS meeting is whether he could shop by himself for groceries.

Yes, he could!!! If you plan on a movie night watching ET with LOTS of popcorn and Good and Plentys and only a salt lamp providing soft salt light. 🤣🤣🤣

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Aaron came in the kitchen holding up a bright, shiny penny. “Look Mom! I found a new version of a penny in my pocket!!” 😄

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 We were watching Wheel of Fortune last night and a contestant bought an A. Aaron yelled, “A!!! As in (and he started singing) E I E I O!!” I just looked at him and then said, “Um, Aaron……there is no A in E I E I O.” He said, “What?” And I repeated, “There is no A in E I E I O.” He stared into space and thought for several seconds before just saying, “Oh.” I hope that someone buys an A tonight so I can see what happens next.

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We’re trying to get Aaron to quit giving his friend money. This girl has learned that Aaron will give her money nearly every day. So Aaron told me, “Mom, yesterday I didn’t give R. any money when she told me she was hungry. I went and bought her a pretzel. Wasn’t that better?” Oh boy – I need wisdom!

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Aaron loves deli Cheddar Pasta Salad, so I buy him one every Friday for his supper. As we left for his group, he asked if I was getting him one today and I said, “Sure, unless you’re tired of them.” He said, “Wait! If I say I’m tired of them, then what else will I get?” Ah, he does recognize an opportunity when he sees it!

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I love how Aaron phrases things. He just now told Cody about his dentist appointment next week and said, “So I will be not here!”

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Aaron last night: “Mom, you know that dance that cowboys do? It’s called box dancing.” Box dancing?! We finally cleared up the fact that he means square dancing. Well, maybe he’s seen cowboys square dancing in a box. Or cowboys dancing in a square box. Or cowboys dancing with a box in a square. Or……….

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Aaron: When I got up this morning at 9:53… No, it wasn’t 9:53. When I got up this morning at 9:46, the windows were wet. 😄😄😄

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This morning:

Me: Aaron, I put money in your wallet for popcorn at the movie today.

Aaron: OK. How much?

Me: I put in $9.00, and then 25 cents. It’s two dimes and a nickel. And you have a penny that was already in there.

Aaron: That would be 26 cents.

Thank you, Mr. Precision Personified. 😅 🧐 🙄

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This week is best friend’s week on Wheel of Fortune. One of the grand prizes, since there are two contestants, is a pair of Mini Coopers. Tonight, the two best friends who made it to the bonus round did not win the prize. You can guess what the prize would have been, but Aaron said:

“Awwww, they didn’t get the mini pair of coopers!!” 😂😂

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Aaron: Mom! Melinda took me to Taco Bell today for lunch!

Me: That’s nice! What did you get?

Aaron: I got two crunchy tacos and a nachos.

Me: That sounds yummy!

Aaron: What’s that green stuff on top?

Me: It’s guacamole.

Aaron: Oh. It seems like a slush.

Guacamole slush. Only at Taco Bell!!

Aaron should do a commercial!

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When Aaron watches a DVD, he watches it ALL. I just walked in his room and found him watching the credits of a movie. I asked him a question and so since he paused the credits to answer me, he went back to the beginning and is watching them again. Down to the very bitter end. Every little tiny, boring, unimportant word.

His mind is so fascinating!

Being Aaron’s Mother

I was awake early this morning, looking forward to coffee and quiet time before the busy start of the day began.

But just as I was climbing out of bed, so was You-Know-Who.

I thought maybe he would just go to the bathroom and back to bed.  But that hope was dashed when I heard him turn on his lamp that sits on his nightstand.  Turning that lamp on usually means he’s up to stay.

No sooner was I downstairs with my cup of coffee than I heard his familiar thump-thump-thump down the stairs. There he stood beside the table, staring at me.

I smiled and wondered if he could tell my heart wasn’t in it.

“Hey Aaron,” I said.  “It’s early and you could still sleep some.  Do you want to go back to bed?”

“No,” he replied.  “I want my coffee.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. 

“Yes,” he repeated. 

I gave him a playful look along with a little laugh.

“Don’t laugh at me!” he angrily said.  “I don’t like to be laughed at!”

And we were off and running. 

I tried to explain the difference in teasing and being rude for what I’m sure must be the millionth- something time.

And for the millionth-something time Aaron didn’t get it.

He proceeded then to come downstairs repeatedly to talk…about anything and everything.

How we didn’t pay him his allowance last night.  How barracuda live in the deep ocean and why do unmanned submersibles have to go down deep?  How long will it rain?  Can you show me on the radar?  I think I need to change clothes because it’s cold so can you pick out new ones for me?  I’m hungry.  Can I have some sausage?  Can you fix my stuffed animals in my bed?  We can’t go see Sheep Detectives at the theater since it might be crowded today so when will it be a day that’s not Mother’s Day that we can go see it.  And so forth and so on and on and on and on….

I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asked.

“Oh, nothing,” I answered.  “I’m just tired.”

“Well, I wish it wasn’t Mother’s Day and we could go see Sheep Detectives,” was his response.

Dear dear Aaron.  So oblivious to other’s feelings much of the time.

I was finally able to slip out on the patio after he was settled in his room.  It was nice to listen to the softly falling rain and the birds. 

But I thought about how many family’s plans might be disrupted on this wet beginning to Mother’s Day.

Yet we need the rain.  Feelings for many were mixed this morning, I was sure.

Mixed feelings much like I was having with Aaron on this Mother’s Day, of all days!

I love Aaron so much but on mornings like this when he interrupts my plans with his talking and his attitude, I feel frustration mounting.  He was raining on my morning!

But just like we need the rain despite the inconvenience, I often need Aaron to remind me that being his mother is a calling that God placed on my life. 

Living with Aaron isn’t all funny sayings that he comes out with that make us laugh.  It’s also repetition that gets very old…anger that tries us to the core…demands that frustrate us…worries about his health and his future that keep us awake at night….

And when despair rains down on me, though I often fail in mothering him with total grace and kindness, God doesn’t fail me.

He is always there to pick up the pieces when I break, to forgive me as I often must forgive Aaron, and to remind me of how much love He has for me and for this unique Aaron that He gave to us. 

To all of you who mother special needs children…really, children of any kind…know that God has sent the rain to grow you to be more like Him.

It’s not that he gives special children to very special parents.

It’s that He shows us very common and weak parents what a special God He is.

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The God Who Girds Me

I was awake again this morning before 5:00.  My body wasn’t the only thing tossing and turning.  So was my mind, filled with concerns of decisions looming large.

Confidence during the daylight hours usually becomes impossibilities in the dark.

I finally just got out of bed.  For the past few days, after my regular morning Bible study, I have been randomly opening my Bible and looking down to see what God has for me.  I love doing this.  God’s Word is truly not only sharp and powerful but also very full of comfort and peace.

My eyes landed on Isaiah 45: 5-6. 

“I am the Lord and there is no other; besides Me there is no God.  I WILL GIRD YOU…”

Gird is an interesting word.  I looked up the Hebrew word, and it means to belt; to encompass.

But what does God gird me with?

Psalm 18: 32 says that God will gird me with strength.

Ephesians 6:10 says to be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.  And then Paul goes on to describe how we are to put on the armor of God.  The first piece of the armor?

The belt of truth.  The old English says, “Having GIRDED your loins with truth.”

OK, so what does all this word study mean to me today?

Simply put, it means that instead of allowing my mind to wander off into worry as I focus on my circumstances, I am to instead intentionally grab the belt of God’s truth and wrap it around my waist. 

The phrase, “Don’t be caught with your pants down,” comes to mind.

I think God understands humor, but really, isn’t this the truth?

God says there’s no reason to be unprepared for the stresses of this life. 

I need to buckle my belt when I toss and turn in the dark and allow worries to fill my mind. 

I need to tighten my belt when I face each new day with its challenges and fears.

It’s the belt of truth. And the truth is, as Isaiah said in 45:6 – “…from the rising to the setting of the sun there is no one besides Me.  I am the Lord, and there is no other.”

It’s the belt of strength…God’s strength.

God promises to gird me…to encompass me with His truth and His sweet presence in my life. 

But also to gird me with strength to fight Satan’s attacks of doubt and worry.

There is no one besides Him to fill me with peace.

No one besides Him to hold me in His arms and to speak to me assuring promises from His precious word.   

No one besides Him to give me strength and resolve to face today, and especially tomorrow, girded up and ready to go forward.

Another Unkie Aaron Update

It’s been a minute since I wrote an update on Unkie Aaron and his “boy nephew,” as he calls Ryker.  And now we happily include his “girl niece.” 

And “Unkie” is still what Ryker calls Aaron…adorably so.

But first I want to begin with an object lesson from this morning.  Aaron asked me to help him straighten his stuffed animals after he got out of bed, and while I was at it to also help him get his covers in order. 

Aaron loves his Christmas blankets and wants to still have them on his bed.  He and I got his layers of sheets and blankets all straightened up just so.  He is very particular about their placement and careful to get as many wrinkles out as possible.  If I ignore this importance in Aaron’s life, I will pay with his frustration that often turns into full-blown anger.  But if I show him that I value his emphasis on what to me seems minor, his contentment is well worth the interruption that helping him has caused me. 

Sometimes this aspect of autism is very hard to remember and to value.  After all these years I still find myself rolling my eyes, sighing, and expecting Aaron to think as I think. 

Silly me.

We have had our precious grandchildren over to our house more often lately due to our son-in-law’s work schedule.  Initially, this arrangement did not go well with Aaron. 

It’s easy for us to want to say, “For crying out loud, what’s not to like?!”

Until we take a deep breath and think like Aaron thinks…or at least try to think like Aaron.

Aaron doesn’t like his routine and schedule to be disrupted any more than he likes his sheets and blankets to be jumbled and wrinkled.  A three-year-old and a one-year-old are, to Aaron, major wrinkles in his otherwise (mostly smooth) life at home.

Aaron doesn’t understand that they don’t understand what he wants and likes and needs.  It’s an enormous leap for Aaron to comprehend that Ryker thinks like a three-year-old.  Aaron has no idea what that even means. 

We can’t pick and choose what areas of Aaron’s life are affected by his autistic mind.  Every single corner of Aaron’s world is colored by how he thinks and feels and reacts, as is all of ours.

We’ve had bursts of anger from Aaron and some very trying situations. 

But we have also recently had a long stretch of Aaron looking forward to their visits. 

Aaron has been a fun buddy to Ryker more than he has been a grumpy Unkie. 

They have played fun games.

Eaten fun food.

Shot nerf guns together.

And Aaron loves for Ryker to join him in his nighttime routine of listening to sounds and watching videos of his “animal of the day.”

Aaron still examines Cora as if she is an unusual little creature to watch and learn about.

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And little Cora looks at him the same way.  We got such a kick out of her trying to mimic some of Aaron’s hand gestures.

Aaron loves to give her toys to play with, including some of our little garden creatures.

Our home is certainly not typical in many ways but in many other ways the uniqueness that Aaron brings, I do believe, will grow and shape Ryker and Cora into people who will have an innate understanding of special persons like Unkie Aaron.

They may someday be straightening Aaron’s sheets and covers while not being one bit surprised at how important this is to their Unkie Aaron.

And this ability taught to them by their Unkie Aaron will be a very rare and precious gift.

Two Cookies

Every Thursday, Aaron and I deliver for Meals on Wheels.  Yesterday we walked up to Rita’s door.  Aaron held the bag of food and saw through the storm door window that Rita was slowly making her way to the door, stooped over her walker.

She paused before opening the door, though, and reached into her pouch attached to the front of her walker.  I could see her hand working to grab something and when she removed her hand, I saw what she was after.

Two cookies.

She then unlocked and opened the door, a big smile lighting her face.

“Here,” she said.  “I have a cookie for Aaron and for you.”

She handed us the simple cookies.  Aaron and I thanked her as she and I talked about how we love plain cookies with no icing or added ingredients. 

Her simple act filled her with obvious joy, and it did the same for me.

Rita doesn’t have much but she gave to me and Aaron from what she had. 

It reminds me of the widow’s mite that Jesus commended as the greatest gift given on the day that so many were making public displays of their large gifts.

Here was Rita, in her simple house handing us simple cookies.

And I was simply blessed.

Blessed and touched much more than if she had given us a big box of expensive decorated cookies from a popular bakery.

We can all do this every day, you know.  We can hand out small acts of kindness that touch people’s lives in ways far more lasting than the big things we often consider to be more meaningful or impressive.

I can find those kindness ways at the grocery store as I offer to take a cart to the drop-off for someone elderly or handicapped…as I smile at people…as I let others go ahead of me…as I chat with a lonely person while we examine the eggs.

And let’s not forget the biggest way that we can impact someone.  We can pray for them in the solitude of our homes.  We don’t even have to be mobile to exercise that most precious gift of God…the gift that God delights in and will honor in both your life and theirs.

Opportunities are all around us to be like Rita, to give of what we have in ways that are sweetly touching in someone’s life. 

Have a very blessed weekend! 

I hope you share a cookie or two with someone!

Home For Easter

I met Atha at our church one Sunday morning.  She and her husband were visiting for the first time.  A friend made it a point to introduce us after she found out that Atha had a wealth of education and experience with special needs individuals.  And since our adult son has special needs, this friend just knew I needed to meet Atha.

And did I ever need to meet Atha!  We instantly clicked that morning.  Plans were made to meet later that week for a coke and conversation.  We became fast friends.  

Our friendship was about so much more than special needs.  We shared deep conversations and spiritual fellowship mixed with loads of laughter.  Our families became friends as we shared meals together and celebrated life events.  We walked with each other through deep waters and shed tears for our own and each other’s heartaches.  I don’t even know how many times Scott and Atha showed up at our door with encouragement and a pie.  Pie made everything better!

Atha had a stroke near the end of 2015.  She was sent to rehab after a hospital stay, but recovery was slow due to other health issues.  I went to see her one day and got to her room just as she was being wheeled out to a waiting ambulance.  She was taken to the hospital.  

I would visit her and read to her from the Psalms.  She couldn’t talk much but she would smile as best she could and nod her approval as God’s word soothed her heart. 

I was shopping not long after Atha’s hospitalization when my phone rang.  Atha’s daughter told me that Atha was being placed on end-of-life care.  I thought I must not be understanding the message correctly, but I wasn’t.  We sat with the family, crying, laughing as Atha would have wanted, and saying our goodbyes.

I woke up on Easter Sunday and looked outside at a late season snow.  And I got the call from Atha’s son.  She was in heaven.

What a beautiful day it was for Atha to take her last breath!

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As I stood by her bed later and held her lifeless hand, I knew that she was, in reality, full of life.  

Because of Easter I knew that death was not the victor here.  Jesus defeated death and rose again.  That’s what we were celebrating on that Easter Sunday.

Through my tears, I knew that I would see Atha again because of Jesus’ resurrection.  Death holds no sting and the grave holds no victory!  

Atha never got to go home after her stroke but now she was in the best home, safe and healed.  

Home for Easter because of Easter.

Clinging

I stepped outside yesterday morning to snap a picture of our beautiful sunrise.  I turned to walk back inside when it hit me that there was something else I needed to see and to think about.

I mean, I have seen this sight many times this winter, but it was like God was telling me to REALLY see it.

There, up in our big old pin oak, are squirrel’s nests.  It’s amazing that they can cling to those branches through all the wind, rain, storms, and snow.  

We don’t see those nests in the summer, but when all the leaves are gone, we see them clearly.

A couple weeks ago I was wearily getting ready for bed at the end of a long day.  Aaron’s behaviors that day had depleted me.  Future decisions we need to make for him were weighing on me. Other deep concerns pulled at my emotions.  Soon tears blurred my vision.

Those who have walked with God for a long time will know what I mean when I say that He spoke to my heart right then.  He reminded me of the many times in the past when I felt broken and how He told me to go to my Bible and look at what He had to say to me right then and there.

“Silly me,” I thought.  “Why haven’t I done that in a while?”

Laying there on my desk was my Bible, open to where I had been studying in the book of Joshua.  I looked down and this is the verse that I instantly saw:

“But you are to cling to the Lord your God, as you have done to this day.”   (Joshua 23:8)

I just sat down and cried, this time with thankful tears for this simple yet profound reminder from God.

“Just cling to Me, Patty,” God said, “as you have done for all these years to this day.”

Such simple words but so impacting to me.

I’m no longer young.  I’ve walked with the Lord for a long time and oh, the many verses I have marked with the dates God gave them to me.  Times of trials that led to trust as God spoke to me through His word.

This time in my life is no different than all the other times that God has led and strengthened and sustained me.  

It’s like the squirrel’s nests that we can see when all the leaves are gone.

When the trappings of our lives are gone, what is seen?

When we are slammed with huge decisions, disappointment, a scary and unexpected diagnosis, a wayward child, an uncertain future, betrayal…whatever it is…

Will we cling to God like the squirrel’s nests clinging to the pin oak branches?

Will our trust be clear to us and to others even through our pain and our tears?

I now have “February 2026, Aaron,”  written beside Joshua 23:8.

And I’m working on clinging to God like a squirrel’s nest in the branches. 

The Thanks I Get?

Yesterday Aaron and I delivered roses to his day group friends at Paradigm.  Our local Dillon’s store and our sweet friend Jody organize this special treat every year. The smiles and excitement are so much fun to see.  

Last night Aaron was cleaning out the bag he takes to Paradigm.  He came running into the kitchen holding…something.

“MOM!” he excitedly said, “this is for you!”

He held out…this.

“Victoria wanted me to give you this to say thanks for the rose today!” he explained.

It was so hard not to laugh.  

This…was an old, mangled, broken candy cane, complete with food crumbs stuck in the open spots.

Now, I know Aaron and I know with a fair degree of certainty that Victoria did NOT send me that worn out candy cane.  Aaron found it in the bottom of his messy bag and impulsively came up with what he thought was a solid story whereupon he could gift me with…this. 

Aaron’s love language is giving gifts.  

He just needs a little work sometimes on the choice of gifts he gives.

We’ve been having some rough times with Aaron.  He’s been struggling with some things that make him respond with anger toward us.  

A trait of autism is a focus on oneself because they want their world to operate in the order that gives them peace.  Interruptions to that order can cause lots of anger, taken out on me and Gary at home.

Then there’s the care that Aaron requires on so many levels, care that often ties us down and intrudes upon the way we sometimes want OUR world to go.

I’m not complaining and I hope I don’t sound selfish.  These are just the facts.  Parents of children are caregivers, and having our adult Aaron still with us is like having a child still at home.  Special needs then compound the situation a lot!

It’s easy to get mired down in the daily and to feel like all I do for Aaron is unrecognized by him, which is often true.  

Like I’m left holding onto more broken when I’ve had enough, thank you.

But one morning I was especially encouraged when I read the words of Nehemiah 5:19:

“Remember me with favor, O my God, for all that I have done for this people.”

Caregiving is so often self-sacrificing, but it’s a walk of life that honors God.  I don’t always have the right attitude, and I have anger issues sometimes, too.  

Yet so many times, during the mundane or dirty work, when I am tired and feeling very unappreciated, I remember that I am remembered. 

I am remembered by God.  He sees me.  

And everything I do, I really am to do for Him.

There are many of us working day after day after day to care for someone in our lives.  We are not on a public stage, sought after and held in high esteem.

But we are noticed by God, whom Hebrews tells us will not forget our work and labor of love we have shown for Him by helping His people.

And this…this is a promise I can hold on to when the serving is hard.  

It’s like the biggest and best thanks ever!