Month: October 2011

Aaron is reading his Handy Answer Science Book every night before bed.  This morning he said, “Mom, I saw something in my Handy Answer Science Book last night that I don’t understand.  Can you give me a piece of paper and let me write it for you?”

So I gave him a piece of paper and this is what he wrote:

I told him that this symbol means square root, which of course meant nothing to him.  So on another piece of paper I began showing him the meaning of square root using the number 9.  He interrupted me with a loud laugh and then said, “That’s dumb!” 

Well, why is that dumb, Aaron?    “Because 9 is not square!!!” 

This time I also laughed, and he joined me because he thought I was laughing at my own “dumbness” to think that the number 9 could be square.  What a good laugh we had together, each for our own different reason! 

I was able to explain sqaure roots to Aaron.  He’s good at math and he accepted the lesson – but I do believe he still thinks that this whole concept is pretty dumb. 

Literal Aaron is still stuck on the word “square!” 

We are experiencing this fact of Asperger’s today:

       Persons with Asperger’s are easily overwhelmed by minimal change.

Amen.  That came from me.  See how calm I am.

GRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

Today is Halloween and Aaron knows that his day group is having a fun day.  Some will dress up, but not all will.  Aaron certainly wouldn’t because he doesn’t like the way that “different” clothes feel on his body.  And to cover his face up with a mask – been there, tried that…………….no way!

So yesterday Aaron started saying that he didn’t want to go to Paradigm today.  I knew why but asked anyway.  He talked about it being Halloween.  I tried to tell him of all the fun they would have today.  Pizza, candy…………….he’s not buying it. 

This morning was the same thing – “I don’t want to go to Paradigm!”       “Do I have to go to Paradigm?!”         “Can I stay home?”    

We talked…………….actually, I talked……………..and Aaron didn’t really listen.  So I asked him exactly why he doesn’t want to be a part of this fun day and he said:

“Because it isn’t Paradigm to me today!”

On Monday Paradigm goes bowling!  Not a silly Halloween party that Aaron doesn’t like!  And no amount of persuasion will make him want to go.  If I force it we’ll have a disaster.  So Aaron is staying home and is now out in his mulch, calming down. 

Maybe I should join him. 

Aaron has a special friend at his day group.  He calls her Rosie, although that’s not exactly her name.  It’s his variation, and it’s really very sweet that he has a special name for his special friend.  Aaron has always had a hard time making friends because of his social skills – or lack thereof – and over the years has had very few real friends.  He’s also shown no interest in girls other than as another target of his teasing or as a person with ears who will listen to his talking. 

When Aaron first started telling us about Rosie we really didn’t give it much thought.  He has now made friends at his day group and it’s been wonderful to hear him talk about his interactions with them during his day.  His life is more normal and happy than it’s ever been in that area.  However, Rosie began to occupy more of his conversation as time went on.  He talked about how he liked walking with her when they would go shopping or eating with her at lunch.  He told us that she loves crayons – really, really loves crayons! 

One day I found Aaron slipping a box of our old crayons into his pocket.  I asked him what he was doing and he replied, “Mom, Rosie loves crayons and I want to take her some.”  So I agreed.  But soon he began taking her other crayons until finally we had no more crayons in our old crayon box.  All the markers went, too, and even some colored pencils.  I also found out that Aaron was buying Rosie food or snacks with his money.  Or he would share some of his food or drink with her.  It was sweet, yes, but we didn’t want it to go too far. 

Aaron began expressing some frustration that some of his friends were teasing him about Rosie being his girlfriend.  I told him to be nice and to tell them that he and Rosie were just good friends.  We had that same conversation several times over the next few weeks.  Finally one day Aaron once again spoke to me with frustration over this girlfriend issue.  I told him to do what I had said before, and this time even urged him to express that fact to Rosie herself – that they could be good friends and be very happy with that. 

Later that evening, as he and I were watching something on television, he turned to me and said, “Mom, you know what you told me to say to Rosie about being friends?  Well, I’m going to keep those words inside of me.”  As I questioned him about what he meant, he continued, “Rosie told me she loves me.  No girl has ever told me that she loves me.  I like how that made me feel.”  I just sat there, confronted with the humanity of my special son.  Despite his social impairments, he had just shown me that he also has the same need for love that all us have.  He had no intention of telling Rosie anything that would jeopardize their special relationship. 

It was hard to swallow that huge lump in my throat.  It was a moment that one of those doors of my heart cracked open – the doors I try to keep closed because they hurt too much when what’s inside them is exposed.  Rough and gruff Aaron has feelings.  Clueless Aaron, who usually thumps someone on the head or whacks them on their back, was showing tenderness toward Rosie.  Egocentric Aaron was wanting to help Rosie by buying her food or taking her crayons.  And Aaron exposed a part of his heart that we had never seen before.  His desire to be accepted, and loved, and valued by a special someone. 

Rosie and Aaron are still friends.  Rosie doesn’t go out with the group as often as she used to, but Aaron sees her a lot at their center where they meet every day.  Today I was there for his yearly BASIS meeting, and after the meeting I watched as Aaron teased his friends and the staff.  He can be loud and rough but they love him.  He and I walked to the door as I was leaving, and there sat Rosie.  Aaron didn’t try to say something silly about her hair or whack her on her back.  He very kindly and gently looked at her and said, “Hi, Rosie.”  No big deal, but that’s what made it a big deal.  Simple and kind and genuine. 

Gary and I are content with Aaron and Rosie being good friends.  We hope it stays that way, innocent and sweet.  We know that we need to walk with caution in these areas with Aaron.  For now, it is simple and good, and we pray that Aaron and Rosie can always be special friends. 

Aaron and I drove back down to McConnell Air Base to have his TB Tine test checked.  Or as Aaron said, “………to have my TP test looked at.”   We’ve already talked about Aaron and tp so I won’t go there again – though I could.  Anyway…………….

He started talking once again about Ozark people.  Turns out he saw Ozark people on a Looney Tunes segment.  Today’s update was, ” Oh, Mom, I found out what Ozark people are.  They’re not cowboys or farmers, remember?  I found out on Looney Tunes that Ozark people are Hillbillies!” 

Really?  Hillbillies.  So I asked him to tell me what he knows about Hillbillies.

“Well,”  he said, “Hillbillies live alone.”   That’s it.  So I asked him again, “Ok, but what is a Hillbilly?”  And he answered, “Mom, they didn’t give a full definition.”   HA!

Yeah, I guess a full definition on Looney Tunes is a bit much to expect.  Then he asked me to explain what a Hillbilly is.  I told him that, technically, since I’m from the WV mountains that I’m a Hillbilly.   I tried to explain it but realized that I was making myself look a little questionable, and knowing that everyone Aaron talks to for the next few weeks will be told that I’m a Hillbilly – well, I just told Aaron to look at all the pretty leaves outside. 

You know how I love the change of seasons.     

Remember my post about how every night Aaron has to ask us if it’s going to rain?  The boy loves rain!  He loves weather!  He loves talking about weather!

This morning he’s up early to go back and have his TB Tine test read.  As Gary was leaving, Aaron was – guess what? – talking! 

“Dad, do you think it’s going to snow?” 

Gary:  “Well, I don’t know Aaron.  It’s not going to snow anytime soon.” 

“Well, when do you think it will snow?”

And so on it went, with Gary telling him he doesn’t know when it will snow.

Gary left and it was my turn.

“Mom, do you like snow?”   Me:  “Sometimes, Aaron, but I’m not ready for snow right now.”

“So when do you think it will snow, Mom?”  Aaron, I don’t know when it will snow. 

“Mom, I don’t like snow!”    Yes, you do, Aaron.

“Well, sometimes snow makes us have an ice storm.  Remember our ice storm?”   Yes, Aaron, that was years ago. 

“Did that ice storm come from Antartica?”   No, Aaron, it didn’t come from Antartica.

“So Mom, when do you think it’ll snow?”   Aaron, I DON’T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

And here we go.  I love the change of seasons.

Aaron becomes fascinated with the most random things.  He may see something on a movie or Looney Tunes or the news.  He may read something.  He may see something on a sign or in a store.  He’s always observant and for whatever reason, this “something” will captivate him and then he’ll have to talk about it.  Of course – always talk about it!!

So this morning Aaron popped into my room and said, “Mom!  You know those Ozark people?”

Uh, not really, Aaron.

“Well, they’re kinda like cowboys………………no, not really cowboys.   They’re like farmers……………….oh, not really farmers either.  But anyway – those Ozark people square dance!!”

OK, all you Ozark people!  You may have no real identity……………after all, you’re neither cowboys or farmers!   But you SQUARE DANCE!!!!!!!!!!   I want to be an Ozark person!!  They have fun! 

Aaron has such a fascinating way of describing things that he sees and hears. He is extremely observant and doesn’t miss a beat.  That’s why he’s always finding money, for instance, that’s laying on the ground.  I’ll walk right by it but he stops and picks it up, whether it’s a penny or a few dollars.

How many of us notice, or even care about, the Braille that’s on many public signs?  Yesterday as we walked into the immunization clinic for Aaron’s TB test, he paused and ran his fingers over the Braille on the sign at the door.  He said, “Look, Mom!  Morse code!”  HaHa!  I reminded him that it’s Braille and he said, “Oh yeah!”  and marched on in to see what else he could discover or talk about. 

As we left the clinic we walked by a huge picture on the wall.  It’s a beautiful outdoor scene that looks like it came from the mountains of NC or WV.  The picture shows a pretty stream flowing over rocks.  And Aaron said, as usual, “Look, Mom!  That’s a picture of a running lake.”  Now who would ever think to call a stream a “running lake.”  But think of how appropriate that description really is. 

Yesterday morning before we left the house for our busy day, he was outside in the mulch.  It was a cool, fall morning.  That’s what you and I say – a “cool” morning.  Not Aaron.  As he got in the van he said, “Mom, it’s a half cold morning.”  Not cold – not hot – so that makes it “half cold.” 

He teaches me a lot and keeps me sharp, that boy does!

Today was a full day with Aaron.  He had a dentist appointment and then an appointment with family practice at McConnell Air Base for his 2 year physical – part of his upcoming BASIS assessment this Friday.  Anyway, I threw in a few other stops along the way, too – so it really was a FULL day.  I thought you might want to get a little glimpse of my time with Aaron.

GREAT CLIPS
First, we stopped at Great Clips so he could get a much needed hair cut.  While waiting for a stylist to call Aaron, he had time to stare at the large pictures hung all around the waiting area – pictures of attractive people with attractive hair cuts that we would all like for Great Clips to give us!  But Aaron doesn’t notice their attractive hair cuts.  He (rather loudly) asked, “Mom, why do they always make their faces shiny in those pictures?”  He’s forever thinking that staged pics of models are interesting because their faces are shiny.  Hmmm………..they really are, you know.  Then he observed how the men getting their hair cut had the cape around them as well as the white strip around their necks, under the cape.  Again, rather loudly, he asked, “Mom, why is there a napkin around their neck?”  So in case they’re here for lunch they can just grab it and start eating, Aaron!

DENTIST
Aaron hasn’t been doing a good job of keeping his teeth clean.  This is always an issue with Aaron.  As we sat in the waiting room, he said, “Don’t you think going to the dentist is creepy?”  Well, I never would have used the word “creepy” to describe the dentist experience but I think it shows how Aaron feels about his visits there.  He came out rather agitated because he doesn’t like hearing the hygienist give me bad news, but today he got a good report for doing a better job of brushing.  Yay!  But as he said in his defense, “Everybody’s not perfect, right?!”

PIZZA HUT
And here is the main reason that Aaron endured this day……………the unlimited pizza and salad buffet at Pizza Hut!!!  We were the first people there, before any pizza was even out on the buffet, so we started with salad.  With Aaron I feel like asking him if he wants a little lettuce with his dressing and cheese!! Good grief!  Of course, he enjoyed the pizza immensely.  He kept shaking Parmesan cheese on top, though, and getting it on the table.  This bothered him, so as we’d be talking and eating he kept wiping the crumbs off the table in big swoops.  To which I’d say, “Aaron, quit wiping the crumbs off the table.”  We talked about the dentist, about the weather, about what he wanted for his birthday…………….”Aaron, you don’t have to wipe the crumbs off the table.”   More talk about his doctor visit at McConnell, road work we might encounter on the way, will we go to Wal-Mart today……………..”Aaron, the waitress will wipe the crumbs off the table.”    Talked about running home to let Jackson out, what will we eat for supper, how to better brush his teeth…………………….”Aaron, DO NOT WIPE THE CRUMBS OFF THE TABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
And finally…………..”Mom, can I have some of that black pudding before we leave?”  YUCK!!  So I got him some chocolate pudding………..he did not get to choose the amount for safety reasons.  I set the plate between us as he finished his pizza……………”QUIT WITH THE CRUMBS, AARON!!!!!!”    I sneaked my fork over and got a little sample of the black pudding – and he promptly moved the plate out of my reach.  Well!!!  At least the pudding didn’t leave crumbs on the table. 

THE DOCTOR
His physical was very uninvolved and uneventful, thank the Lord!  The very young Air Force doctor was nice and pleasant.  I can always tell, though, that a new doctor is trying to figure Aaron out.  Good luck with that!  The funniest thing that happened all day, though, was when the doctor was going to check Aaron’s reflexes.  I guess he was trying to get Aaron to relax and not think about what he was doing.  Aaron’s tee shirt had writing on it, something about Thunderbird Motor Oil, etc. and so to get Aaron to not pay attention to what he was doing the doctor said, “Hey, Aaron, what does your shirt say?” 

And Aaron looked down at his shirt and with a hint of disgust at this doctor’s ignorance, he replied, “Hmmph!  I can’t read it cause it’s upside down!!”  I’m sorry, but I just had to laugh – and thankfully the doctor did, too. 

He can get the best of everybody!

Aaron loves Looney Tunes.  He loves Sylvester and Tweety, and the little grandma.  The other day he was talking about watching Looney Tunes at his group.  He was trying to describe the scene with Sylvester and Tweety, and the grandma.

And he said, “Mom, that grandma was sitting in her chair and she was knitting.  You know, she had that knit box and those knit rolls!”

You know, if we have a knitting basket and knitting needles…………….then why not have knit rolls?

Aaron’s a genius!