Hurricane Report

I wanted to give a quick update to my blogging friends about Hurricane Laura’s impact on our daughter and son-in-law in Texas.  Some of you have asked, and most of you don’t see my Facebook posts, so I realized I shouldn’t leave you wondering.  😊

Our son-in-law, Kyle, works on a fast responder ship out of Galveston.  He went to the ship on Tuesday and was told that he needed to go home to grab some essentials and then return immediately to the ship.  He thought he would have one more day at home but fast approaching weather changed all that. 

Gary (my husband) and I worked quickly to finish emptying Aaron’s bedroom since his remodeling was starting on Thursday.  And by early Tuesday  afternoon, Gary was on a plane bound for Houston.  That evening he was the star of the show for our three adorable grand-dogs. 

On Wednesday, Andrea and Gary worked hard to board up what windows they could on the house.  Kyle was, by that time, up in one of the shipping channels waiting to ride out the storm in a place much safer for a ship than the port.  We were just praying it was also a safe place for Kyle and the other crew members.

All of you know by now that the hurricane went to the east of Houston.  We are so thankful that Kyle and Andrea, Kyle’s parents and other family members, and friends in Houston are all safe.  Our hearts go out to those in northeast Texas, in Louisiana, and elsewhere that have been devastated by Hurricane Laura.  They are in our prayers.

Gary flew safely home yesterday.  He was off immediately to Med Express to have a possible bug bite and infection checked on his leg.  An antibiotic will hopefully help clear it up in no time. 

Aaron is glad that Dad is home but not glad that he must now share talking time with someone else, and that Dad and Mom want to talk about Kyle and Andrea more than we do about Aaron. 

Same song…and I totally lost count of what verse we are on at the moment!

 I walked into the kitchen when Gary returned from seeing the doctor and look what was on the table.

I am so blessed to have a husband who shows me that he loves me. 

And doubly blessed that he is still a loving Dad to our grown children, doing whatever it takes to help them when it’s needed.

Thank you, all of you, who prayed for us during the hurricane – especially praying for Kyle and Andrea, Gary, and all the others in the hurricane’s path.  Your care and friendship, even if we have never met, is another gift for which I am deeply grateful. 

In the Eye of the Storm

Life has been pretty tempestuous and I’m not just talking about a whirling mess out in the Gulf by the name of Laura.  We’ve had our own commotion under our roof.  Hurricane Aaron has been building for several days and the other night we were inundated with his storm surge.  Honestly, though, my outburst was stronger than his by a long shot!

Ah, the wonders and joys of autism.  Aaron wants…needs…routine and predictability and all his things in all their proper places.  Upheaval of any kind creates stress for him, and stress for Aaron inevitably creates stress for Gary and me as his parents and caregivers. 

The stresses around us that cause us angst do affect him because his level world is easily tipped by what Gary and I are going through.  Aaron expects us to stay as level as he needs us to be, but we all know that life just isn’t that way.

When Aaron sees Gary and me off kilter, he will then seek to identify what is bothering us.  Then that person or that event becomes the enemy because they have affected him.  Aaron doesn’t mean to be narcissistic.  That delightful character trait is part and parcel with autism.  We know that fact in our heads but sometimes the understanding doesn’t transfer to our hearts during the turmoil.

Several events have impacted us over this past week.  A hoped-for trip to Indiana to see our son didn’t happen.  Disappointment over changed plans crept in.

Then last week we grieved with our daughter and son-in-law, Kyle and Andrea, over the sudden serious health issues of one of their beloved dogs.  Aries started having seizures.  The next week was heart-rending as he declined drastically.  So, this past Friday they made that awful end-of-life decision.  Gary and I were so sad, but I also think that seeing our children’s grief increased our own.  We loved Aries, and we love Kyle and Andrea, so our sorrow was two-fold. 

This is the prayer Kyle prayed the night they said goodbye to Aries:

Aaron really can’t handle seeing us cry but try as we might he did see our tears over the loss of Aries.  We now had the double whammy of changed trip plans and heartbreak over Aries.

However, we were only halfway done with disruptions.  Out in the ocean, Tropical Storm Laura was brewing.  Kyle and Andrea live to the east of Houston, near the water.  Kyle works on a fast responder ship, and those huge vessels don’t stay in the harbor during a hurricane.  Fast forward to today:  Kyle is now on the ship up in one of the channels and will stay there indefinitely.  Andrea is home alone with their other 3 doggies.  She knows she is welcome to go to Kyle’s parent’s home a little further inland but it’s not best to leave your home if you can possibly stay.  So, Gary flew to Houston yesterday and is there with her, which is such a comfort.  His retirement a month ago is a blessing!

Aaron senses our concern about all this hurricane business.  He usually likes to watch the progress of hurricanes, but not this time.  Why?  Because Gary and I are spending too much time, in Aaron’s opinion, monitoring Hurricane Laura…wondering about Kyle and Andrea…planning Gary’s sudden trip…and talking on the phone.  No matter how calm we are, all this time and talk is unusual to Aaron.  Sometimes it takes time away from Aaron. 

On Monday evening, as I finished looking once again at the Weather Channel, Aaron became rude and I became undone.  I lost my temper and lost my cool, and Aaron reacted, and we had our own tempest in the family room.  These things do happen, especially when we are stressed, but then the tension and guilt are increased.  It takes some doing to un-do it all. 

Aaron paced in and out of the family room where I still sat.  We tried to watch a Little House episode but he just could not settle down so he chose to end it and go to bed.  But he kept coming back to me with one more word of anger.  Then he finally stood in front of me.

“I know what I’ll do!!” he belligerently said.

And with that, he stuck his tongue out at me. 

I tell you, I just had to laugh.  He didn’t mean for it to be hilarious, but it was.  I kept my laugh to a minimum and somehow he didn’t get more angry, but it was just really funny.  

I knew when Aaron was finally OK by what happened soon after.  He came bounding once again into the family room, stared at me, and then said:

“Mom?  Do you know what a sea mine is?”

A sea mine?!  But I was actually quite relieved to be talking about sea mines.  Aaron is playing Battleship on his computer, so talk of sea mines was perfectly normal for him.  It showed that he had at last moved beyond our anger and beyond the unsettled surroundings of his world, and he was back to his normal.  I didn’t care one bit about sea mines but trust me, at this point sea mines were a very welcome reprieve!

Aaron’s normal rarely involves human emotion or important life events that impact us.  These issues cause him distress, so he quickly reverts to talk of battleships and sea mines and gun turrets and whatever else comprises his focus at that time.  Gary and I so often shake our heads, but we know we must jump on board with Aaron in order to preserve our peace.  It’s both very frustrating and very fascinating to see how his mind works. 

There is one more thing going on.  Aaron’s bedroom remodel begins tomorrow.  Gary and I had to empty it before Gary left for Houston.  That caused some anxiety, to say the least.  But beyond that is the fact that now Aaron is in another bedroom where all his things are NOT in their normal place. 

“Mom!!  This bed isn’t like my bed!!”

“Mom!!  I like my lamp better!!”

“Mom!!  I don’t like this hard floor!!” 

“Mom!!  I hope I’m not getting a hard floor!!”

“Mom!!  I want to keep my carpet!!”

“Mom!!  My chair doesn’t work right on this hard floor!!”

Shall I continue?

No.  But Aaron will, trust me.

I took Aaron to Outback yesterday after we dropped Gary off at the airport.  Aaron was in his happy place…a restaurant with his choice of food!  As we munched on the warm bread and butter, Aaron looked down at the two pieces left on the cutting board.

“Mom,” he said, “you can have this one and I’ll have the other one.”

I laughed because the one he generously gave to me was the much smaller piece while he got the bigger one.  And it just reminded me of how life is with Aaron.  He doesn’t mean to be this way, but he does require the bigger part of our time and of our understanding and of our attention. 

Therefore, Gary and I require a bigger part of God’s grace and God’s understanding and God’s strength on days such as we have had this past week. 

And God’s forgiveness when we blow it. 

I’m so thankful that He understands.

And I was so thankful to see Aaron smile yesterday as I was able to restore some of his normal.  It’s my responsibility, yes, but also my joy as his mother and his caregiver.

By the way, in the eye of the storm there is peace.  God’s peace, which never fails, is there for me. 

I’m thankful for that, too, during each storm!

Waiting On…?

Aaron is a very impatient “waiter.”  Not a “waiter” as in serving us but waiting as in wanting me to do something…NOW!  We often see this attitude in the evenings. That’s because every evening he and I watch a show.  Lately, it’s Little House on the Prairie.  Anyway, here is how the evening may very well go:

Aaron:  Mom, what time are we watching Little House on the Prairie?

Me:  Let’s watch it at 8:45.

Aaron:  8:45?

Me:  Yes.

Aaron:  OK!

But before long he will more than likely come back downstairs to find me.

Aaron:  Mom, let’s just watch it now!

Me:  No.  We’ll watch it at 8:45.

Aaron:  WHY??!!

Me:  Because I have some things to do and 8:45 is a good time for us to watch it.

Aaron:  But I want to watch it NOW!!

Sometimes Aaron can be appeased and convinced that 8:45 will come before he knows it.  Other times, however, he becomes frustrated and angry.  The waiting game is anything BUT a game at that point, for either of us. 

Sigh.

When we do sit down to the opening music of our program, Aaron is content.  He has his snacks beside him, his blanket over him, and all is well.  But it’s only well because he was waiting on an event that finally happened.

How I wish that he would transfer his waiting focus on me.  I wish he would trust ME to do what I said I would do and then rest in that fact instead of resting on actually beginning his show, with his snacks and his routine in place.

In my spiritual life, this is a lesson I am forever needing to refine. 

I find myself waiting on a “what” instead of waiting on “Who.”

Waiting on some prayed-for event instead of waiting on the One Who will bring the events in my life to pass as He sees best.

Do you ever pray for something to the point that the “something” you’re praying for becomes your focus?  I sure do. 

And that “something” is probably a very good thing.  But here’s the thing…I don’t know God’s mind about my “something” so I need to stop focusing on the event…the request…and focus instead on the One to Whom I am asking to fulfill that event.

Last night my focus became blurry, so I got out of bed and went quietly into the bedroom where I have my quiet-time desk. 

The word “wait” was on my mind.  I ended up in Psalm 25:4-5:

“Make me know Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths.  Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day.”

God’s ways and His paths in this verse actually refer to God’s providence and to how God operates…how He deals with His people.  God doesn’t just want us to know His commands and requirements, but He wants us to know HIM. 

Dale Davis points out in his book In the Presence of My Enemies that God wants us to know more than His demands of us.  God wants us to know how He deals with us. 

And how does God deal with us, His children?  He leads us in His truth, which is better translated “in your faithfulness.” 

“So he seems to be praying that Yahweh will teach him how He is working in his case (v. 4) and to let him experience His faithfulness (v.5) as he goes on.”  (Davis)

Another nugget?  The Hebrew word for “wait” carries with it the idea of being entwined.  As I thought about this, I imagined myself knowing and trusting God so much that I, in a sense, am entwined with Him.  I am so wrapped up in God’s kind character and in His love that I rest in Him, not in my desires being fulfilled. 

The end of that passage says, “…for You I wait all the day.” 

Yes, our petitions are important.  Yes, God wants us to ask things of Him. 

But he also so often wants us to wait…patiently…while He works and while He shows us in that working His faithfulness and His love. 

God wants us to get to know Him better and in that knowing, to trust Him more.

May I not base my happiness on things to be as I want them to be.   

May I not wait for the event to occur before I am satisfied.    

May I instead wait on God..focus on God…and in that waiting, learn to trust Him and enjoy HIM more than the thing for which I am praying. 

Aaron’s Talking Points #9

Here are more of Aaron’s comments that I have collected over the years.  Enjoy!

 

Aaron and I were driving home from Paradigm, passing downtown Wichita on Kellogg.

Aaron: MOM!! LOOK!!

Me: What??!

Aaron: Wait!! It’s coming!

Waiting.

Aaron: There it is!! LOOK!! A chicken on a building!!

And there it was. A chicken statue perched on top of a building…….except I think it was a rooster. Anyway…..

Aaron: It’s a CHICKEN restaurant!!!! It hasssss……

Thinking.

Aaron: It hassss……CHICKEN FOOD!!!!

Soundsssss…….YUMMY!!!

 

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We’ve been praising Aaron’s good attitude and his kind sharing. Today he said, “Mom, I gave Sandra a piece of my Big Red gum. I told her that she doesn’t need her breath to smell.”

Well, I think we need to work on refining the presentation.

 

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Aaron and I are watching Little House on the Prairie. He remembered how Charles told Laura that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. But of course, Aaron has his own version which he told me yesterday.

“Mom, to get the love of a man is through his stomach!!” 😍😍

 

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Aaron is not a fan of leftovers. The other night he somehow guessed that what I told him for supper was, indeed, leftovers. He looked at me suspiciously and then asked, “So did you cook it once?” Busted!

 

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Aaron was once again talking about how I looked in pictures from years ago. “You used to have long hair, Mom. Did you like it long? Do you want it long again?” As usual I replied, “Yes, I liked it long but no, I don’t want it long now.” He stood there looking at me & said, “So you’re staying with that?” I tell you, he can slap me down to earth like no one else!

 

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Gary’s plowing the garden, so Aaron just walked in the kitchen and asked if we’re getting ready to “open the garden.” Yes, we are. I’ll post the hours the garden will be open and the admission prices soon.

 

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Gary and I got some of our garden planted. Aaron is wondering if the rabbits will try to eat any of the vegetables this year. “But Mom, the rabbits won’t eat the onions.” And why is that? “Well, because then they would have spicy breath!” And we all know that there’s nothing worse than a rabbit with spicy breath! I personally hope I never run into one!

 

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Aaron, watching the game: “Is this football almost over? It says final four!” HaHaHa!!!

 

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Aaron was asking me if the ice cream that dropped all over his shirt yesterday would wash out. We asked him how he got it on there anyway and he said, “Well, it was melting fast. You know, it was not the non-melting kind of ice cream!” I tell you, it’s really hard anymore to find that non-melting ice cream!

 

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I bought some packets of mixed nuts at Sam’s, which Aaron tried to hide under his bed so he could have them all to himself. Anyway, he was telling me why he hid them. “Mom, I like them – especially those wrinkled nuts!” Can you guess which ones are the wrinkled nuts? Yep – pecans! Or as Aaron calls them – Pee-Cons. Look at them – they ARE wrinkled!

 

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Aaron, talking about his day group: Brandi was taking a vacation to a cemetery!!

Remind me not to call her travel agent. 😲 🤣

 

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You know by now that Aaron will sing a main phrase of the last song that he has heard…..over and over and over again. Yesterday he got a new CD – the Essential Elvis Presley. I’m questioning that essential part right now. Why oh why was the last song he heard just before his therapist appointment today “You Ain’t Nothin’ But a Hound Dog?”

To the woman who held the door open for us as we entered the building: Really, it was nothing personal.

To the receptionist: It’s not about you.

To his therapist: Just let it go.

To our waitress at Carlos O’Kelly’s: Not you! Honest!

We need to start listening to my hymn CDs.

 

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Elvis, Take 3:

Aaron: MOM!! Look up Elvis Presley Hound Dog 1956!!!

So I did, because if I don’t then my entire evening will consist of Aaron hovering, saying: MOM!! Look up Elvis Presley Hound Dog 1956!!

I was sure that Aaron’s head would pop off from laughing so hard as he watched Elvis dance.

Oh yes, Aaron has now discovered Elvis dancing.

Aaron: MOM!! Let’s show DAD!!!!

Me (MOM): Yes, let’s show DAD!! Hehehe!

Aaron: DAD!! Look at Elvis Presley Hound Dog 1956!

Much laughter ensued, from both Gary and Aaron. And finally, Aaron’s critique.

Aaron: Elvis was ROWDY in 1956!!

Stay tuned.

 

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More about Elvis on our drive home from Paradigm today.

Aaron: Mom, I’ve noticed something about Elvis. He doesn’t sing normal.

Me: He doesn’t sing normal?

Aaron: No, he doesn’t sing normal. How would you say he sings?

Me: You’re the one who said he doesn’t sing normal. You tell me how he sings.

Aaron: Well, he sings……I don’t know…..he just…..he doesn’t sing…..you know what I mean…..he doesn’t sing NORMAL!! How would you describe it?

Me: I didn’t say he doesn’t sing normal. You tell me how he sings.

Aaron: His voice is…..it’s……JIGGLY!!!!

Me (laughing): I knew you would come up with the right word, Aaron!

Aaron: Yeah. He’s just not NORMAL!!

I’m sure that Aaron and I have just begun to discover the truth about Elvis.

 

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We just got back from eating at Chili’s, where we celebrated the birthday of Aaron’s friend, Rosa. Aaron – despite his sore tooth and despite grabbing his face in pain several times – downed a salad, a plate of chicken bacon quesadillas, and an order of French fries (each one dipped meticulously in honey mustard sauce).

He ran upstairs to put on his pajamas, then thumped down the stairs and stood by me, staring.

“Mom!!” he finally said. “I don’t want any supper!”

Me (incredulously): WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU JUST ATE??!!

Aaron: Lunch?

This, my friends, is what happens when you meet at Chili’s for supper with Aaron BEFORE 5:00!!!! 🤣😋😜

 

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Aaron and I loved the new Jungle Book movie. The only thing he made a comment on was when Mowgli howled with the wolves. He thought a howling boy was pretty dumb. Haha! On the way into the theater, Aaron was reading the names of the movies on the marquee.

Aaron: Look, Mom! My Big Fat Green Wedding?

So I corrected him, changing Green to Greek, and told him about the old movie.

We went to the vet to get dog food on our way home. Aaron loves talking to Misha, who works there, about movies. They talked about Jungle Book, Independence Day, Captain America, and on and on. Finally Aaron remembered another movie he needed to tell her about.

Aaron: Oh! Guess what else is coming out? It’s The Married Greek Woman!!

It’s a good thing Misha knows her movies and didn’t even bat an eye!

 

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I asked Aaron if his glasses were dirty and needed to be cleaned, so he handed them to me and said, “Check it out, sweetie!” Sometimes I just throw parenting out the window and laugh.

 

‘Til next time!  😊  😊

 

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