So Many Changes!

Hasn’t this been a year of change?  My goodness, all of us are suffering from whiplash when we think of how quickly we’ve been hit with change across the board, in every area of our lives. 

When I fine-tune my vision and focus on our little family in our own little world, I see how all these changes…and other more personal ones…have affected us a lot.  Gary and I don’t just have ourselves to consider, of course.  For us as parents, certainly, we always look at how change is affecting our children.  It doesn’t matter that Andrea and Kyle, and Andrew, all live far away.  We still ponder and pray every day about their lives and what impacts them.

Here at home, though, we are the most affected by how changes in life hit Aaron.  Trust me, the word “hit” is appropriate when speaking of Aaron and change.  Sometimes Gary and I don’t quite know what hit us when change hits Aaron.

Aaron has handled COVID issues very well, for the most part.  He’s still thoroughly sick of it, pardon the pun.  Yet he wears his mask well in public and has adjusted to this new way of living much better than some I know.  I’m very proud of him for that.

His day group opened the first part of July and things have gone well until recently, when several clients tested positive for the virus.  The day center has been closed now for over two weeks.  Aaron doesn’t mind that one bit because he loves staying home.  Our quarantine is over, and he and we are fine, but the center is still closed.

We’ve still been able to enjoy walks outside, exploring some new areas and appreciating the familiar ones.

Petting Moe, our neighbor’s cat:

And loving some time on our friend’s farm:

Besides all the COVID stuff going on, we’ve also had personal changes in our life.  Gary retired this past summer and we wondered how that would affect Aaron, but he’s adjusted beautifully and really enjoys having Gary home all the time.  I mean, now Aaron has another set of ears to listen to all his talk…and what’s not to like about that?!

We’ve had more remodeling done, including…and MOST importantly…Aaron’s room.  Aaron struggled with moving into his brother’s old bedroom.  He oversaw Gary and I as we moved his desk and computer to its new and temporary location, complaining like an old man about it…hovering and huffing a LOT!  He soon realized that his desk chair didn’t move so well on the new hard floor with no carpet, so he bemoaned the fact that his carpet was soon to be a thing of the past.  He tried to urge Luke and Noah, our remodeling team, to NOT take out his carpet but to no avail.  He also spoke to them about all the noise they were making and to please NOT turn off the electricity again!! 

He is now back in his own bedroom, with the hard floor and with his furniture rearranged.  Hey, if we’re pushing Aaron to adjust why not try even MORE new things, right?!  He’s just happy to be in his own bed again and in his own room, so this further stretch for him is being tolerated well.

Success!

Except for our latest change.  Gary and I are taking Aaron with us on a trip back east.  We’re going to Gary’s hometown in the Smoky Mountains of North Carolina to help his sister after her knee replacement surgery.  AND…we’re taking Aaron with us.

Aaron would rather stay home, in his own house and his own room, even though we did put that hard floor in there!

Aaron loves Aunt Sandra and will talk her ear off on the phone, but Aaron loves being home even more.  It’s been a push to get him to settle down about this grand plan of traveling again.  Gary and I have had to be firm.  I’ve told Sandra to put on her thick skin. 

Aaron wanted to talk to Barb, Paradigm manager and Aaron’s second mom, about all this trip business.  She facetimed with him yesterday and it was so sweet.  She helped tremendously!  We may be doing that again from North Carolina!

We leave in the morning.  Our vehicle will be full of Aaron’s CD’s, DVD’s, blanket, pillow, books, food, drinks, his computer, Nintendo and games, and his stuffed snake. 

He is comforted in knowing that tomorrow night we will stop to stay in a hotel and best of all, we will eat out in a real restaurant. 

Gary and I would be comforted in knowing that as you think of us, you would pray for safety…for Sandra’s knee surgery to go well…and for Aaron to have a great time and to be happy. 

We hope to see lots of happy smiles just like this!  Thank you for praying!

Just Trying to Care

Aaron has recently been fixated on planets and stars and space and seeing pictures of all the above.  And when I say fixated, I am not speaking of a casual interest on Aaron’s part.  Aaron latches on to his current fixation like a tick on a dog.  He does not let go easily, and nothing deters him from researching every little minute detail of said fixation. 

He loves to include us in his latest quest for information, which means two things.  First, we must often look up something on the internet with him that he just MUST share.  Google is our friend.

Second, we must listen to Aaron talk and talk and talk and talk some more about all the facts he has learned.  He just knows that we will be as dumbfounded as he is about his latest find.

He really, really wants us to care as much as he cares.

Yesterday evening, then, found Aaron and I sitting on the couch together listening to Louie Giglio’s famous video, Indescribable.  It wasn’t AS full of planets and stars as he wanted, but it did contain some sounds from outer space that Aaron loved.  Aaron was particularly interested in the sounds that planets and stars make, so he was very happy to hear that part of Giglio’s sermon. 

All in all, the video was a wonderful reminder of God’s astounding creation of the universe.  Aaron and I both loved all the breathtaking pictures of stars and galaxies. 

After we were finished, I was in the kitchen lowering the blinds when I hit my elbow on the back of a chair.  I didn’t just hit my elbow.  I whacked it good!  The pain shot down my arm as I grabbed my elbow and bent over.  Aaron, who was standing nearby talking, kept talking until he noticed my obvious pain.  Then he wanted to know what had happened, in detail.

I didn’t want to talk.  I wanted to be left alone until the pain stopped.  So I briefly answered Aaron’s question about my elbow and moved to another room. 

“Mom!!” Aaron exclaimed, “you act like you don’t want me to talk!  I’m just trying to care!”

Well, that stopped me in my tracks.  I removed the arrow from my heart as I walked back to Aaron and thanked him for caring.  I tried to explain how the pain made me not want to talk as I let him know that I appreciated his concern.

This morning I continued reading slowly through the Psalm I am studying…Psalm 8.    The verses I was to read today were these:

When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained;

What is man that You take thought of Him, and the son of man that You care for him?   (Psalm 8:3-4)

These verses fit perfectly with all our talk here lately about space and planets and stars.  Well, Aaron’s talk about space and planets and stars.  Gary and I primarily listen.

Anyway, I just sat and looked at verse 4.  Who am I, God, that you care for me? 

And I thought of Aaron’s comment from the night before as I got irritated because of my pain. 

“I’m just trying to care!”

In my pain, I didn’t want to listen to Aaron…but he was trying to care.

It hurt him for me to not recognize that.

And I also thought of God and how much He cares.  God…Who created all the vast universe…cares about me? 

Yes, He does. 

I love that thought on most days, but when life isn’t going as I want…when I am in pain because of situations that hurt…I sometimes don’t exactly want to listen to God.

But then I hear God speak in verses like I read this morning and I am stopped in my tracks.  Humbled.  And so very thankful.

Like David, when I compare myself to the vastness of the far reaches of our universe, I am insignificant…a mere tiny speck.  But God cares…for me?

I love what Dale Davis says: “Only the condescension of God can hold together astronomical vastness and individual concern.”

God condescends in order to hold together His vast universe, but He also condescends to me out of His care for me.  God loves me.  ME!  I don’t know and can’t explain why He loves me, but I know that He does. 

Who am I that God would love me?   Why does God care?

Davis again says: “Why should a mere speck of dust on the light years of God’s calendar matter to Him?  David at least has no doubt that he does matter; he’s just baffled to bits over why.  When he says, ‘What is man?’, he is not asking a question but making an exclamation – he is really saying, ‘What a God!’  He is not posing a mental teaser; he is engaging in breathless praise.”

I didn’t want to talk to Aaron when I was in pain.  Likewise, I often don’t want to hear from or talk to God when my heart hurts, when life isn’t fair, when my world crumbles.

But He doesn’t quit caring.  And I know that He has a purpose for my pain…a purpose that is for my good in the long run. 

So may I, even through pain, give breathless praise to God for His thoughts of me and His care for me. 

God’s Work of Art

He Said What?!

I love how Gary stops to enjoy the world around him.  Sometimes I may not quite agree with it, like when he found a huge Orb Weaving Spider on the back of our patio chair recently and instead of killing it, he placed it gingerly in our flower bed.  You who know my fear of spiders will also know that I am now avoiding that flower bed, or am stalking around it carefully like an NCIS agent at a crime scene. 

I wasn’t at all surprised this past Sunday afternoon to walk out in our garage and find a Cicada, a poor dead Cicada, laying on Gary’s work bench.  I knew that Gary had placed it there for me and for Aaron to see.  I didn’t even have to ask.  I paused to look at it, which prompted Gary to tell me about the Praying Mantis he had rescued from…

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Aaron’s Talking Points #10

More of Aaron’s funny comments collected over the years. Enjoy!

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First initial report from Aaron about the circus: There were not a lot of clowns so that was boring. The elephants pooped in a bucket and that was NOT boring.

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Aaron, walking through the family room: “I’m going to use the bathroom. Do you think that’s a good idea?”

Why does it even matter what I think on that subject?

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Aaron has a hard time getting family relationships correct. Brother and sister, mom and dad – he’s usually good with those, although not always 100%. Aunts and uncles – I think he just calls them by those titles but he doesn’t really fathom their connection to mom and dad. And just forget cousins.

Now that Andrea and Kyle are getting married, Aaron has really struggled – in more ways than one – with this new relationship and how it will impact him. He feels like he’ll lose Andrea – that she won’t be his sister anymore. We’ve told him over and over that Kyle will be his new brother (brother-in-law, to be exact, though that confuses Aaron). And that Andrea will still be his sister.

So today he was telling our friend, Casady, that he does NOT want Kyle to marry Andrea. His reason, in his words:

“I don’t want to be a Grandbrother!!

That’s a new one! The family tree just got even more interesting. 🤣🤔

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Aaron’s been asking a million questions this morning. I’m a little phased out at this point, so I’m giving the standard answer of, “Hmmmm.” This doesn’t sit well with Aaron, so he challenged me about not answering him well.

Aaron: What do you keep saying?

Me: When?

Aaron: Every time I talk to you.

Me: Hmmmm.

Aaron just gave a big sigh and walked away. Maybe I’m on to something. 😁

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Aaron told us that he thought one of his staff was pregnant with her second child. This fascinates him. Today when I dropped him off for his group, this staff was driving. Aaron asked her if it’s true that she’s pregnant and she said yes. So he excitedly replied, “So you’re going to do another baby?!” He does have a way with words!

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Aaron was watching the news last night when on came a story of the Pope at an Easter gathering. Aaron leaned forward on the floor where he sat, taking in all the scenes of the Pope. Finally Aaron was done and as he gathered up his things off the floor, he said, “That pastor dresses funny. I’ve never seen a pastor dress THAT way!!” Can you tell we’re not Catholic?

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Another topic that Aaron talked about yesterday: clowns. He wonders if a clown wears that same kind of make-up that I do. O.K., now he’s gone too far!

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Aaron has talked and talked and talked and talked and talked…..you get the idea……about an alien picture that he saw. Earlier, he said that the alien was pink. But knowing that he is color blind, and that to him pink is sometimes really blue, I foolishly told him that maybe the alien is really blue. This statement that I made without thinking resulted in me having to stand in his room at his computer, observing the mutant alien on a very small picture. Was he pink? Well, sort of. But I could also see a tinge of blue. Hmmmmm……

Me: Aaron, I think he’s a pinkish blue.

Aaron: Pinkish blue?

Me: Yes. A little pink and a little blue.

Silly me. This pinkish blue business is just a bit much to comprehend in Aaron’s black and white…..it’s either all pink or all blue…..world.

So a few minutes ago, Aaron stood behind me at my computer, trying to figure out once and for all what color the alien really is.

Aaron: Mom, pinkish blue.

Me: Mmmmmm. (Not really paying much attention…..brain is numbing).

Aaron: Pinkish blue. That’s like pink and blue are connected.

A good laugh woke my brain right up! I think Aaron gets pinkish blue now!

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Our sweet caregivers, brother and sister long-time friends of ours, came over Sunday to go over some things before we leave for Houston. So this morning I had this conversation with observant Aaron:

Aaron: Mom, H. looks weird.

Me: She most certainly does NOT look weird!

Aaron: I think she looks weird.

Me: Why on earth do you think she looks weird?

Aaron: Well…..she’s skinny.

Obviously, Aaron is very unaccustomed to skinny here at our house. And trust me, this is his version of a compliment. I’ve already warned H. about her upcoming compliment, too, because I strongly suspect that he will share it with her as soon as she walks in the door tomorrow.

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Same song, second verse.

Aaron: “The movie 2012 is 159 minutes long.”

Me: “So it’s about 2 1/2 hours long.”

Aaron: “No. It’s 2 hours and 39 minutes long!”

 Silly me!! We must be precise!

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A few weeks ago, when Aaron had a respiratory virus and sore throat, he had some observations, as always.

“Mom, every time I blow my nose it comes BACK to my nose!!” 😝🤢

Then he started running a slight fever, complete with some chills.

“Mom, why do I feel cold? Is it because my body isn’t at its warming temperature?” 😃

So today during Wheel of Fortune, he took a chill and then laughed and laughed at the goose bumps on his legs.

“MOM!! LOOK!! Those are bumps to being cold!!” 😅😅

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Aaron: So are we going to watch an NCIS?

Me: Sure!

Aaron: Will it be 9:00, or 8:55?

Let me think about that, Aaron. 🤔🕘🙃

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Aaron held up a Snickers bar at Wal-Mart: “Mom, this is the kind of candy bar my friend likes! But what’s that stretchy stuff in the middle?” Uh, I’m hoping you’re talking about the caramel, Aaron.

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Aaron’s had a very hard time waking up in the mornings. When I have to keep talking to him or shaking his leg to get him awake, then he becomes angry. It’s not a good start to our day, so today I decided to improve the situation by offering him a stop at McDonald’s for a sausage biscuit. It worked!

After our biscuits, as we drove to Paradigm, Aaron’s eyes were still heavy and he was unusually quiet. We were listening to The Beach Boys.

“…I wish they all could be California girrrrls…”

Suddenly Aaron started chuckling and then outright laughing.

“What’s so funny?” I asked him.

“They’re singing about BIG California girls!!” 😂😂

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Aaron, talking about all the places he went today with Amy:

“Mom! We went to that store that has all that stuff that smells! We got Barb some of that smelly good smell stuff!”

I want some!!

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One of many observations that Aaron is making as he works his way through the movie, Titanic:

“The accent of those people on that ship. They sound like Europe!” 😁😁

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Aaron wasn’t out of bed for 60 seconds before he was standing beside me, talking about barnacles.

Yes. Barnacles.

His current focus is The Titanic, and the barnacles covering the wreckage have totally captured his attention…and therefore, ours.

I just googled Barnacles. I have learned more than ever about barnacles. Go ahead. Ask me a question about barnacles. And if I cannot answer your question, I’ll have Aaron call you. So leave me your number when asking questions. You and Aaron can talk for hours about barnacles. Trust me. HOURS!!

Doing so will provide me with very beneficial mental health assistance, too. Think of how happy that will make you feel, my dear friends and family!

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Well, that’s enough of Aaron this time.  Thanks for reading.  You may leave your phone numbers in the comments for that call from Aaron. 

Just kidding!!  😊  😊

Have a great weekend!

The Surprise

We each have our own situations that God has put, just so, in our lives. As we stand and look at whatever that is, we must choose whether to accept God’s placement in our garden or to spend our life hating it.

He Said What?!

I was walking through our vegetable garden one day in early summer, looking at the pretty little plants growing so nicely where Gary and I had placed them.  There was the summer squash on the front row, along with some zucchini.  The tomatoes were already inside their tomato cages that Gary had put up, and behind them were our okra plants.  Cucumbers were on the side of the garden near the tall oak tree.  We have a simple garden this year, not as full as it sometimes is, but enough for us and hopefully some to share with others.

Everything was where it should be, growing as we had hoped at this point, with no visible bugs or other problems that I could see. Weeds hadn’t started taking over yet, either, so I felt content as I turned to leave the garden.

But wait.  What was this?

I stopped between…

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Looking Back

Twelve years ago, our daughter was getting ready to graduate from college with a health sciences degree.  She wasn’t sure of what she should do after graduation, so a friend who had already walked that path told her to get her EMT license and work in an emergency room in order to gain some experience and some insight into the medical field.  She got her EMT license during her senior year of college. 

Shortly before our daughter’s graduation, my friend and I were at Sam’s Club shopping for a big church dinner.  We were standing at the cooler choosing heads of lettuce when another shopper joined us.  This other shopper was a caterer, and soon the three of us were talking away.  We found out as we chatted that she had a grandson with autism.  I told her about our Aaron, and off we went sharing some similar concerns.  I had noticed that this woman was wearing a work shirt from one of our large local hospitals, and embroidered on the front were the words, “ER Services.” 

I told her how my daughter sure would love to work at that ER and that she planned to apply soon.  This woman took out some paper as she asked me what Andrea’s name was.  She then gave me a phone number for Andrea to call as well as the woman’s name that Andrea should speak to.  When Andrea was able to call some time later, this woman said, “Oh yes, Andrea.  I have your file here on my desk.”  Andrea was so surprised!  “What file?” she thought.  Seems the woman I had met talked to this person and they started a file before even talking to Andrea.  It was amazing!  Andrea interviewed and got the job right away.

As time went on and several years passed, Andrea had gained much experience at that job as well as two others before being accepted into grad school.  She was finally sure that molecular biology/genetics was where she wanted to focus.  But it was easy to wonder if all the time and energy devoted to the ER and a doctor’s office was a waste.  But since that time, she has seen over and over that her clinical experience gave her advantages and opened doors that she never realized would happen. 

As believers and followers of Christ, we know that if we are walking in obedience to the Lord then nothing is a waste.  We know in our head that “ALL things work together for good.”  But sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of that promise when the steps we’re taking are uncertain and even painful.  What we know in our head often doesn’t reach our hearts very easily. 

I liken it to looking ahead as we walk but seeing no clear path.  It reminds me of our walkway in our back yard.  In one direction there is no path.

But when I look behind me, I see how the bricks were carefully laid to make a clear walkway.

 We put one foot in front of the other as we launch out into the unknown.  Really, each new day is unknown to us.  We have no idea what will happen to us in any given day.  What is important is to walk in obedience to God as we trust Him to open and shut doors.

As the days and the years pass by, we too can look behind us and see how all things fit together in our life to make a beautiful pattern.  Each piece fits just where God meant it to fit.

But sometimes the beauty comes as a result of great pain.  God’s purposes are often more fully accomplished through suffering. 

In Acts 23, the Apostle Paul was arrested for preaching the gospel.  Through a series of events he was transferred from Jerusalem to Caesarea, and from there to Rome.  All along the journey, Paul was able to preach the gospel to the highest levels of government.  A normal missionary journey would probably not have opened those doors, but Paul’s suffering and imprisonment did provide the opening for sharing the gospel in ways unthought of and unplanned by Paul. 

D.L. Bock writes about how this incident in Paul’s life was rooted in God’s providence.  But he adds that providence does not always mean physical rescue.  “It is one of the mysteries of providence that many times we cannot see why things are happening as they are.  Yet God is surely at work in ways that we could not have planned for ourselves.”

May each of us, as we find ourselves at the end of our known and seen path…as we get ready to walk into the uncharted areas of life…fully trust that God knows best.

            If we could push ajar the gates of life,

            And stand within, and all God’s working see,

            We might interpret all this doubt and strife,

            And for each mystery could find a key.

            But not today.  Then be content poor heart;

            God’s plans, like lilies pure and white, unfold.

            We must not tear the close-shut leaves, apart –

            Time will reveal the calyxes of gold.

            And when, through patient toil, we reach the land

            Where tired feet, with sandals loosed, may rest,

            There we shall truly know and understand,

            And there shall gladly say, ‘Our God knows best.’  (Anon.)