Did Someone Say, “Time CHANGE?!”

I am 99.9% certain that whoever thought up all this time change business did not have a child living with them who had autism.  Specifically, a child with autism who has as one of their obsessions the desire for living life with precision timing.

Such is our Aaron.

Aaron wears a watch every day of his life.  If his watch breaks, time for him stands still…and time for us is nearly unbearable until the broken watch can be replaced.  Trust me, we take as little time as possible in finding him a new watch.  It must be a specific watch, one with numbers all around…a second hand…and the day and date feature.

Heaven help us when the day and date feature needs to be adjusted!  Aaron doesn’t have time to wait for that, either, and when I mess it up…which I so often do…then the world is off balance for Aaron until Dad is able to come to the rescue.

Many of you have heard lots of stories about Aaron’s precision with time.  For instance, on the weekends Aaron wants to eat lunch at 12:00 noon.  This often happens:

 

Me:  Aaron, do you want to eat lunch?

Aaron:  Yes.

Me:  What do you want to eat?

Aaron:  Can I have pizza?

Me:  Sure.  I’ll fix it now.

Aaron:  I want to eat at 12:00.

Me:  Well, it’s almost 12:00.

Aaron (pushing his sleeve up to look at his watch which is worn halfway up his arm):  No, Mom!  It’s 11:56!!

I sigh, exercising my lungs as I so often do with Aaron, and make sure we wait until 12:00 on the dot to start the lunch process.

Here’s another familiar scene:

 

Aaron:  Mom, I woke up at 7:58.

Me:  So, you woke up around 8:00?

Aaron (looking at me as if I had three eyes but no brain):  No!  I woke up at 7:58!

 

I began preparing Aaron for the dreaded time change on Saturday afternoon.  When we finished watching our DVD before bed, he glanced up at the clock in the family room.

“Mom,” he began.  “It’s 10:47, but it’s really 9:47, right?”

I assured him he was correct as he followed me into the kitchen.  He carefully watched me change the stove clock, the microwave clock, and the coffee pot clock.  Things were progressing smoothly.

Little did I know.

The bedtime routine was moving along normally when Aaron sat on his bed to write the time in his logbook.  This logbook in which Aaron records…precisely records…his time to bed and his time to get up.  Every.  Single.  Day.

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Aaron stared at his complex weather station clock beside his bed…the one that needs a person with an engineering AND rocket science degree to change the time.

“MOM!!!!  My clock says 11:02, but it should say 10:02!!!”

WHY DIDN’T I REMEMBER AARON’S CLOCK?????!!!!!

But outwardly I was the picture of calmness.  I told Aaron that I really thought it would set automatically by satellite.  Aaron sat on his bed with his logbook open, very still, staring at the clock as if he could will it to change.  I stood beside the bed, staring at Aaron as if I could will him to change.

Silly Mom.

He scooted off the bed and headed for the door.

“I’m getting Dad!” he informed me as he left his room.

Thump, thump, thump down one set of stairs.

Thump, thump, thump down the second set of stairs.

Soon I heard Aaron pounding up both sets of stairs.  Seriously, he takes stairs like a bull elephant.

And there followed Gary, much slower than Aaron, who was full of purpose.

“Dad, can you set my clock?!” he asked anxiously.

Gary set the clock, Aaron sat once again on his bed with his logbook open, and I stood there waiting hopefully for the time to be entered, precisely.

Aaron stared at his weather station clock.  Then he pushed his sleeve up and looked at his watch.  He stared again at the blue numbers on his very difficult weather station clock.

“MOM!!!!  It says 12:10!!!!  It should be 10:10!!!!!”

Oh.  My.  Word.

Dear Gary, in his tiredness, had set the clock AHEAD an hour.  Instead of falling back, we had gone full speed AHEAD…and Aaron was full speed DONE with this crazy time change!!

SO WAS I!!!!!!!!

“Aaron,” I kindly said (despite how UNKIND I felt), “can’t you just lay down, close your eyes, and go to sleep?”

It would have made more sense to tell him to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro…barefoot…in the dark…with no guides…and no supplies.

I wonder what time it was in Tanzania?

Aaron informed me that he could do none of those things.  Lay down, close his eyes, or go to sleep.

“Aaron,” I continued (my lips drawn tighter than they had been), “can’t you just wear your watch to bed?”

With that, Aaron once again pushed his sleeve way up his arm and stared down at his watch.

“MOM!!!!” he said, “we need to change the time on my watch!!!”

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I prohibited Aaron from going back to get Gary.  I changed the dumb time on his watch.   I then sat down on his bed, praying as I started pushing buttons, and somehow someway I was able to change the stupid time from 12:10 to 10:10.

Can you tell I was done?  I needed a time out!!!

Oh, but we weren’t done!

Aaron was, once again, sitting on his bed while staring at his ridiculous weather station clock.  Whose idea was it to get him this clock anyway??!!

All the bases had to have been finally covered, I thought.  Aaron’s just waiting for the minute to change, as he usually does, before he will write down the time.

The EXACT time, for crying out loud!!!

“MOM!!!!” he nearly yelled, “it’s FLASHING!!!!!”

“WHAT????!!!!” I nearly yelled in disbelief.  “What’s FLASHING????!!!!”

And sure enough, under the very current and precise time, there was flashing the words, “NO WI-FI.”

“It says, no wifey,” Aaron told me.

“You’re about to hear, no mother,” I wanted to say, but didn’t.

“Here, Aaron,” I said now through almost gritted teeth, “you can just turn your weather station clock around like this and then go to sleep.”

But I may as well have told him to climb….

You get it.

No, Aaron could NOT just simply turn the clock around like this or just go to sleep like that.  Not with “NO WIFEY” flashing under the very perfect and totally precise time!!!!

I guess Aaron was spent…or knew that I was…because he finally got under his covers and let me escape to my room.

But soon I heard him thump, thump, thumping downstairs…where he told Gary about the flashing “NO WIFEY.”

Then came the thump, thump, thumping upstairs…and the elephant stomps to my closed bedroom door.

“Mom?” he said. “I’m tired of this day.”

“I know, Aaron,” I told him.  “I am, too.”

Never were truer words spoken!!

He walked back to his bed.

He was soon back at my door.

“Mom?  Do you think I should just wear my watch to bed?”

“I think that would be a good idea,” I replied (hopefully!).

Again, he was under his covers.

“MOM!!!!” I heard from the monitor in our room, “it quit flashing!!!”

Thank you, Lord!!!  I really did thank the Lord!

But if you ask me, it’s high time to change the time change!!

At least it is in OUR house!!  WHEW!!

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Singing We Go

Aaron LOVES listening to CD’s when we drive places…and yes, we still use CD’s in our van, and sometimes in our kitchen, because we’re old and our van is old and Aaron LOVES CD’s. 

Why does he love CD’s?  Well, he can hold the case and look at the title of each song that is playing, as well as the number of the song on the back of the case.  This is orderly and sensible, which makes great sense to Aaron. 

It’s pretty hilarious, actually, to watch Aaron go through this process, and to hear his voice.  He watches the CD player in the van, for instance, and as soon as the number of the song pops up, he then repeats the number to me and tells me the song title.  It doesn’t matter that I haven’t asked for this information.  He gives it anyway.

The current CD that we are playing becomes his sole focus for however long it takes us to finish this CD.  It’s usually several days, so for that period of time we hear all about the singer or the group.  Again, it doesn’t matter that we haven’t asked for this information.  We will get it anyway, an any time of the day or night. 

At this moment in time, Aaron is listening…again…to Ronnie Milsap.  He adores Ronnie Milsap.  He knows all about Ronnie Milsap…where he was born (near Gary’s hometown!)…his childhood…his blindness…and definitely his songs!  And I can’t tell you how many times Aaron has said, “Mom, when Ronnie Milsap sings, he goes like this!”  At which time Aaron jerks his head around just like Ronnie Milsap does, because Aaron has watched him on YouTube and has keenly observed Ronnie Milsap’s head jerking and swaying as he keeps time to the music.  But when Aaron copies those movements, it’s quite hilarious…and to people in cars beside us, it’s probably quite puzzling.

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Another musical trait that Aaron displays, proudly and loudly at times, is to sing a main phrase of the last song that he has heard before we exit the van.  There was the day, etched into my memory, when the last song that was playing before we entered Wal-Mart was Shania Twain’s classic, “Man!  I Feel Like a Woman!”  So yes, Aaron walked around Wal-Mart singing…more like saying…with his unexpressive and flat voice, “Man!  I feel like a woman!” 

That was a very interesting day.

Aaron had a doctor appointment today, so I decided that it was a good day for a morning haircut and beard trim on our way to lunch.  We drove to Great Clips, and on our way Ronnie Milsap was singing.  Aaron reached down between our seats to grab the CD, look at the number displayed on the CD player, and then match the number to the title index on the back of the CD box. 

“Number 6,” Aaron intoned.  “All Together Now Let’s Fall Apart,” he read with no expression. 

We soon sat in Great Clips after confirming our on-line check-in.  Aaron was ready for his hair cut NOW, but I told him that we needed to sit and wait…that it wouldn’t be long. 

I hoped.

Soon another customer entered and walked up to the counter.  Aaron immediately thought that she would delay his haircut.  In disgust, he uttered his favorite saying lately.

“Oh, puhleeeese!” he muttered.

“Aaron!” I then muttered close to his ear.  “Don’t say that!”

So I began tickling his back, which always calms him, and sometimes gives me hope that he’ll be quiet.

Then another customer entered.

“Oh no!!” Aaron said. 

Now I was REALLY tickling his back, pushing him down so that I had better access, and also so that his face and mouth were facing the floor!

He then decided to sing.

“All together now, let’s fall apart,” he spoke/sang in his usual monotone. 

No joke, I thought!! 

But soon his hair cut was done, lunch at Longhorn was happily completed, and we ran home for a few minutes.  I needed to let Jackson out to potty, and I also had another chore to do…a bit of a yucky one.

Aaron had informed me, just before we left for Great Clips, that he MIGHT have wet a little…maybe just a little…in his bed during the night.  It wasn’t a seizure, but instead a result of TOO much water before bed.  He has been read the riot act on that, by the way.

More of the story and the extent of the damage was found just before we left, with no time to clean it up.  I couldn’t stay too irritated for too long, though, when at Longhorn Aaron agreed to ask the blessing before we ate.  He stretched his hand across the table for me to hold.

“Dear Lord,” he began.  “Help me not to pee in my bed again.  And thank you for this food.”

How could I stay mad?

So at home, I gathered up his bedding…ALL of it…his many covers included.  I examined the carpet, and then knelt down in the tight spot between his bed and the wall.  The spray bottle wouldn’t work at first, but eventually it did.  But my legs wouldn’t work well, either, as I struggled to get up.  Just then, I heard Aaron at his desk…singing…

“All together now, let’s fall apart,” he once again flatly sang.

He has no idea how my loud laughter made getting up off the floor even harder!!  And how much it helped dissolve my frustration.

I have two Ronnie Milsap songs that I have decided are Aaron’s songs, though he is clueless about them. 

The first one was playing in the kitchen last night. 

“Number 11,” Aaron said with no emotion.  “There’s No Getting Over Me,” he read. 

“That’s a funny name for a song,” he added.

But it’s a PERFECT song for YOU, Aaron!!  There’s no getting over you!! 

And I don’t want to, either!

The second song?  It was playing when we pulled into the driveway after his doctor visit today.  It’s on the second CD disk, in case you’re wondering.

“Number 1,” Aaron said, of course.  “I Wouldn’t Have Missed It For The World,” he finished.

BINGO!!

 

 

What Time Is It??!!

So today I have another Chicago song rumbling around in my brain.  A couple weeks ago it was the song “Color My World” that I wrote about.

But today…today it’s the song, “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?”

The chorus begins:

Does anybody really know what time it is?

            Does anybody really care?

Stop right there!!

Yes, somebody cares!!!

AARON CARES!!!

For anybody new to my blog, Aaron is our amazing adult son with autism.  And keeping the correct time is of paramount importance to him.  I mean, look at his log book that he keeps with his time to go to bed at night and the time he gets out of bed in the morning.

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And many of you still chuckle with me when I share conversations similar to this:

Aaron:  “Mom!  I woke up early this morning!  Guess what time I got up?”

Me:  “You got up at 7:00.”

Aaron:  “No!!  I got up at 6:58!!”

Aaron loves keeping his eye on the time, the PRECISE time!  Therefore, this change yesterday to Daylight Savings Time caused a huge bump in his road of exact time keeping.

And that’s why I waited until he and I were driving to Sam’s Club in the early afternoon to even casually broach the subject of another time change.  He listened and then didn’t have much response, but I’ve learned not to be fooled by his silence.  He was pondering this unwelcome news with each ticking second of his wristwatch…his wristwatch pushed way up his arm, always, for those of you who may not know that little fact.

His Sam’s food treasures kept him from dwelling too much on the time issue.  Pineapple slices…cheese cubes…dry roasted peanuts with sea salt (Aaron likes using their full description!) (and talking about what dry roasted means until Gary and I are sick of the topic of dry roasted peanuts with sea salt!)…strawberries…orange juice…and dog jerky for our big Great Dane, Jackson.

Once home and all unloaded, Aaron went out with me to the front yard.  He kindly picked up branches that had fallen in our last wind storm.  We praised him for his helpfulness, and how he was allowing Dad more time to work on our bathroom remodel.  Or as Aaron puts it – “tearing the bathroom.”  He was very proud of his job well done.

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And then it hit him.  The afternoon was moving right along.  We were going to watch our West Virginia team play Kansas at 5:00.  Aaron asked about what time the game started, which reminded him of that time issue discussed earlier, and the countdown began.

“Mom?  When do we change the time?”

“We’ll just change the clocks when we go to bed, like we always do,” I told him.

This question was asked in one form or another several times during the evening.  Then it got complicated.

It was 8:30ish when we finished watching a program.  “Maybe I should go on to bed,” Aaron said.  I suggested that we watch one more thing, and then he could call it a night.

“But when does the time change?” he asked again.

“Well, technically it changes during the night when we’re asleep, but we’ll set the clocks ahead when we go to bed,” I replied.

He was satisfied with that.  We watched one more NCIS and then it was definitely time to hit the sack.  Aaron ran down the stairs to say goodnight to Gary, remembering to have Dad change the time on his wristwatch.  We got all the bedtime routine taken care of, with Aaron pushing up his sleeve every minute or two to check the ever important time on his watch.  His eyes were darting, though, to the time on his satellite weather station.  We had told him that the time there would change automatically during the night.

Finally, he pushed up his pajama shirt sleeve, stuck his arm out for me to see, and said, “Mom, look.  It’s this time on me.”

He was struggling with having one time on his watch and another time on his weather station.  Nothing I said was helping much.

Then…THEN…the inevitable happened.  It was time for Aaron to write down his time to bed in his log book…and the time on his weather station did NOT jive with the time on his watch.

What to do??!!!

He wrote down the time displayed on the weather station.  I said goodnight.  I should have known it was not over.

Nine minutes after he went to bed, I heard his heavy footsteps coming up the hallway.  Soon there was a knock on the bathroom door.

“Mom?” he asked.  “Is it really 9:47?”

“Yes, Aaron, but during the night it will change while you’re sleeping.  Now go on to bed and don’t worry about it.”

Off he went.  I think it was 9:48.

I was starting to breathe easy, but I shouldn’t have.

More footsteps.  Another knock.

“Mom?  Is it really 10:03?”

Bless his heart.  These things are so, so urgent and of such great importance to him.  I dare not dismiss them or shrug them off or make him feel like he’s ridiculous to be so tied up in the stress of what time it really is.  Gary and I know to explain over and over, if needed…and it almost always is.  Small price to pay, really, for Aaron’s peace of mind and for ours.

All was well today.  Aaron was super excited to eat lunch at Carlos O’Kelly’s, so it appeared that all the time issues had been laid to rest last night, at the same time that Aaron finally decided to rest.

I think it was 4:43 when we were all walking in from the garage…and Aaron spied the time on the garage door opener.

“Dad!  It says 3:43!!”

And in no more than a couple seconds, maybe three, Gary had gotten that garage door opener in sync with Aaron’s watch, Aaron’s weather station, the microwave that Aaron had just watched me change, the oven, the radio…

So…

Does anybody really know what time it is?

            Does anybody really care?

Silly song!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

SEXY!!!

I posted this little piece on my Facebook page this morning, and decided…..in keeping with this blog title of He Said WHAT?!…..that I should post it here as well.  Enjoy!  And welcome to my world, daily my world, thanks to Aaron!  🙂

Aaron could have slept in today, but NOOOO…..he was up before the light of dawn!  He’s raring to go to his yearly meeting at Carlos O’Kelly’s.  A lunch meeting, which is hours away.  Sigh.  He just came bounding in the kitchen.

Aaron:  MOM!! People kiss on Star Trek!

Me:  OK.  (I figured that was a safe response)

Aaron:  Is it OK to kiss?

Me:  It depends on who you kiss.  (Now I’m worried).

Aaron:  So who can you kiss?

Me:  (I almost said, “Lots of people,” but my coffee kicked in and I thought better of it). You can kiss your husband or your wife.

Aaron:  Well, on Star Trek a woman came from another planet and she kissed Captain James T. Kirk!!

Me:  OK. (Another safe response, I hope) (Although I could have told him that he could kiss someone from another planet. That’s pretty safe.)

Aaron:  When they kissed, I said, “SEXY!!” (No surprise.  He says, “SEXY!!” when Pat Sajak hugs a contestant on Wheel of Fortune!)

Me:  (No response) (Hoping he will go take his shower)

Aaron:  Is it OK to say, “SEXY?!”

Me:  (searching for wisdom) Yes, it’s OK to say sexy, but you don’t need to go around saying it to everybody.

Aaron:  Well, the next time you and Dad kiss, I’m saying, “SEXY!!”

Me:  That’s fine. (Please let this be the end!)

Aaron:  SEXY!! (Finally walking away!)

I guess I should inform Gary that we will now have our own cheering section when we kiss.

 

The WHAT Bite?!

When writing about life with Aaron, I have often mentioned how he rubs his hands together.  He does this when he is excited, happy, nervous, or when deep in thought as he concentrates on a particular something that captivates him or requires him to focus.  When he is excited or happy or nervous……and even when he’s angry……his hand rubbing is usually very fast.  I wouldn’t be surprised someday to see smoke rising from his blazing hands!  But when he is deep in thought or totally focused on something, his hand rubbing is slow and calm.  It’s then that one can really see the intricate movement he makes with his fingers.  The whole process is very fascinating.

While in Houston recently visiting Andrea, she and I were able to watch Aaron as he listened to some of his favorite music.  He was totally engrossed in listening to Celtic Thunder, matching each song with the title on the back of the CD.  His head was lowered and there he was, his hands slowing rubbing together and his fingers doing their rhythmic motion……over and over and over.  I quietly picked up my phone and was able to video him without interrupting this magical moment.  You can watch the video below.

 

And now I can write about his doctor visit last November……a visit that involves his unique hand rubbing, done in “slo mo.”  You can better visualize what happened that day.  I just hope that I can also convey how hilarious that whole experience was.

Last year here in Wichita, oak mites were prolific.  These are beastly little creatures…….barely visible……that drop from oak trees and then are carried by the wind to every corner of one’s yard.  They leave nasty little bites that resemble mosquito bites, and itch like crazy.

One day Aaron had been outside and soon enough he had several itching welts break out on his skin.  We explained oak mites to him, all of which he found fairly fascinating.  It wasn’t long, though, before he had scratched one bite on his leg to the point that it was raw and bleeding.  Fearing infection, I put some antibiotic cream on it, slapped on a round Band Aid…….and being the good mother that I am, promptly forgot about it.

In my defense, it was the time of year for cooler weather so Aaron was wearing long pants during the day and long pajama pants at night.  I couldn’t see his leg.  Out of sight, out of mind.

There.  I am absolved of any guilt.

Why the guilt, you ask?  Or not.  Anyway, one evening it was warmer and so Aaron decided to wear his pajama shorts.  We were watching Wheel of Fortune when I looked over and noticed a bright red spot on Aaron’s leg.  The bright red spot turned out to be a perfect ring around his perfect round Band Aid……the Band Aid that had been on his leg for – oh – maybe two weeks?

“Oh my goodness, Aaron!” I blurted out.  “I totally forgot about your oak mite bite and your Band Aid!!”

I jumped up from the couch, took his Band Aid off, and stood there staring at a perfect round red splotchy ring around the original bite.  My first thought was that maybe Aaron had really been bitten by a tick and now had LYME DISEASE!!!

My second thought was to wonder how on earth Aaron still had that old Band Aid on his leg if he was taking proper showers??!!

The first thought I kept to myself.

The second thought I all too gladly shared with Aaron.

“Aaron, if you were taking showers like you’re supposed to, you would NOT still have that Band Aid on your leg!!” I informed him.

“I have SO showered, Mom!!” he loudly asserted.

“Well, if you were showering correctly that Band Aid would have fallen off!” I continued.

“But I DID shower, MOM!!” he also continued.

I knew that his showering skills, or lack thereof, were not the main concern at this point but it seemed the perfect moment to drive home that point.

It didn’t work, by the way, but I must always try.

The next morning found us at McConnell Air Base, where Aaron’s primary care doctor walked in the exam room to check out Aaron’s leg.  I knew that we needed to rule out a tick bite and Lyme Disease, if possible, and maybe get an antibiotic.

Dr. Broberg walked in and greeted Aaron, which always makes Aaron feel very important.  Dr. Broberg is a civilian doctor, so he doesn’t move away.  He’s been Aaron’s doctor for a long time now and knows Aaron well.

“So what’s going on with your leg?” Dr. Broberg asked.

I started to answer, but Aaron was having none of that.

“Mom!!” he firmly said.  “I’ll tell him!”

So I hushed, sat back, and got ready to enjoy the moment.

Aaron knew he had Dr. Broberg’s full attention, so he sat up straight and began his story.  And as he began talking, he also began rubbing his hands together……ever so slowly……over and over and over…..his fingers in perfect motion between the movement of his hands.

Dr. Broberg glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes, a slight smile tugging at his lips.

Aaron began his rendition of his condition.

“Mom and I were outside taking a walk,” he began.  He paused as he rubbed his hands together.

“And……and…..while we were outside taking a walk…..”  Another pause.  His hand rubbing was nearly hypnotic.

“I got…..I got….an oak bite!!”  Long pause for effect, while Dr. Broberg’s slight smile had now turned into lip twitching as he struggled not to laugh.

“And…..and……I SHOWERED!!!!” Aaron said with great emphasis as his eyes left Dr. Broberg in order to glower at his offending mom who dared accuse him of NOT showering!!!

It was just too much.  I lowered my head and laughed, while Dr. Broberg was now in a full grin.

Aaron composed himself and continued his drawn out story, never wavering from telling every single detail of his OAK BITE.

Never once did he say oak MITE bite.

Dr. Broberg determined that Aaron probably had a fungus that grew around the Band Aid that had been on for such a long time.  It really had nothing to do with Aaron’s oak bite.  Yes, I said oak bite…..for from that time forward his bite has been classified as an oak bite.

Besides, it was fun to see the looks on people’s faces as Aaron told them all about his oak bite.  And then showed them the oak bite, complete with fungus ring.

Delightful.  Totally delightful.

Some special cream did the trick and before long the round ring rash was gone.

But not gone are my memories of yet another hilarious doctor visit with Aaron…..Aaron of oak bite fame!

 

 

Doctor Visits, Aaron’s Way

Doctor visits with Aaron are rarely dull.  Two visits in one week were pretty much over the top.  I posted this on my FB page (https://www.facebook.com/hesaidwhat84/?ref=aymt_homepage_panel), but wanted to share them here as well.

I took Aaron to his yearly eye exam today. God bless Aaron’s eye doctor. Next week I’ll be saying, “God bless Aaron’s dental hygienist,” but today all blessings go his eye doctor and to the staff. Oh, Aaron isn’t mean. He just has a very difficult time understanding what the doctor needs from him…..how to express what he is seeing or not seeing clearly…..opening his eyes wide…..not leaning back from every instrument that comes toward his eyes…..things like that. There was one very funny interchange, though, during the exam. You know how the doctor wants you to tell which lens helps you to see the letters on the wall the clearest.
Dr. Nelson: Aaron, is number one better? Or number two?
Aaron: Number one.
Dr. Nelson: OK. Now which is better? Number three, or number four?
Aaron: Number one.
Dr. Nelson: Let’s try again. Number three, or number four?
Aaron: The first one.
Dr. Nelson: You mean number three….here…..or number four…..here.
Aaron: Number one.
Dr. Nelson: Let’s try these. Number five, or number six.
Aaron: The first one.
Dr. Nelson: Let’s try number seven…..
Aaron: Number one.
Dr. Nelson: OK, let’s not do numbers anymore. Is this one better, or this one better?
Aaron: Number one.
HaHaHaHa!!!!!! How I wanted to belly laugh!! I do believe that number one was the winner, don’t you??!!

 

Doctor Visit, Take Two

Today Aaron had an appointment with his Epileptologist. I call it Doctor Visit, Take Two.
Aaron was very drowsy after taking his morning meds. In fact, so drowsy that I told him as we entered the exam room to just sit in the chair, not up on the exam table. But NOOOO, Aaron thinks that one MUST sit on the exam table when in the exam room. Silly Mom.
The nurse had come in the room and had begun asking me questions about Aaron’s meds and dosages. Aaron, in the meantime, stood facing the exam table.
Nurse: So Aaron is on ——-?
Me: Yes. Aaron, do not climb on the table. Turn and SIT on it.
Nurse: And what is his dosage of ——-?
Me: 200 mg. in the morning and 200 mg. at night. Aaron, why are you climbing on the table? Turn and SIT on it.
But it was too late. Aaron was now on the exam table on all fours, his rear end where his face should be, with nowhere to go on that small, narrow table. More like a dog at the vet.
Nurse: (Unaffected) And is he taking ——-?
Me: Yes. Aaron, be careful! What are you doing?!
Aaron was now slowly turning around, still on all fours, and crumpling the paper that covered the table.
Nurse: Aaron is also taking ——-?
Me: Yes. 1,000 mg. in the morning and 2,000 mg. at night. Aaron, for crying out loud, would you please just sit down the right way?!
Nurse: (Still unaffected) So he’s still taking ——-?
Me: Yes, 1 mg. at night.
Aaron was now sideways on the table, shoes kicked off, mission almost accomplished. And I was laughing, really laughing, at this whole scene……which Aaron thought was pretty cool, because at least silly mom wasn’t upset in a mad way. So Aaron then got fully turned around so now his face was finally where his rear had been, and he decided to sit Indian style on the exam table.
Nurse: Any anxiety?
Me: Aaron or ME???!!!
Nurse finally smiled as she left the room.
WAIT!! No exam??!!

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A Poopy But Grand Day!

In the grand scheme of things, this day of mine was really not a big deal.  However, I don’t really give a flip about grand schemes when it’s so often the little things…..and some not so little……that make one want to go somewhere far away and very quiet.  A place where there are no pooping dogs, and where 32 year old sons can go into the public restroom and not be heard from the hall as they laugh and whoop very loudly.

My day began at 3:45 A! M!  Our elderly Great Dane, Jackson, sleeps in our bedroom with me and Gary.  Not with us as in the bed with us.  NO, NO, NO!!  But he sleeps on a bed at the foot of our bed, on the floor, where big Great Danes belong.  He’s been getting me out of bed quite often lately, needing to go outside to potty, and usually it happens at about the awful hour that I awakened this morning.  But it wasn’t Jackson that woke me up.  It was an odor.  A very unhappy odor.  Not wanting to awaken Gary, and assuming that Jackson had left me his usual large gift of a turd or two on his bed, I got out of bed and didn’t turn on the light.

Big mistake.

Both of my feet soon landed in soft, gooey poop.  So there I was, in the dark, trying to walk on the sides of my feet to the bathroom where there was a LIGHT SWITCH that would help me to see what I already knew was there.  I nearly fell backwards as I tried to wobble forward, and wondered how I would explain all of this to the ER doctors as I lay on the gurney covered in poop with bones poking out of my poor broken body. 

I know that’s dramatic.  I was actually very composed…….probably in a state of near shock as I first cleaned my feet with a Clorox wipe, and then tackled the carpet.  Jackson lay on his blanket, separate from his bed.  Yes, he has a bed with a comforter on it and his favorite blanket.  And then he has yet ANOTHER blanket on the floor beside Gary.  He’s spoiled.  He watched me with a bored expression.  I glared at him but didn’t speak.  Then I made him get up and go outside to potty anyway, and I left him downstairs. 

There!!

I never went back to sleep.  Our diffuser helped dispel the odor, but my body and brain were revved up! 

I guess Aaron was revved up this morning, too, because at 6:30 he came into the bedroom where I have my quiet time and he just quietly stood there……staring……at me. 

I turned and stared back.

“Mom,” he said with no emotion.  “I woke up.”

I was still in a poopy frame of mind.  “No joke,” I replied.  But the sarcasm was totally wasted on Aaron, who doesn’t get sarcasm.  And I, having had enough of waste, just turned and continued with my reading.  He must have thought I was hopeless, because he went back to his room and shut his door. 

Today Aaron had a doctor appointment at the air base.  It was time for his physical, as well as his post-hospital visit with his primary care doctor there.  I was so prepared the night before……clothes picked out, and all of his paperwork filled out and put in a nice folder on my desk.  I was good to go!  Until it came time to actually go.  I don’t know what happens in the last five minutes before we leave.  I mean, does Aaron plan to go barefoot?!  Why are his shoes and socks not on when I told him what time we were leaving?  Then I had to quickly clean his glasses, grab my earrings, don’t forget my phone, turn off the radio, answer his multiple questions about where we would eat lunch today……and LET JACKSON OUT TO POTTY!!!!!

We were about two miles from the house before I realized that I had forgotten the carefully prepared folder with all of Aaron’s physical paperwork that I MUST have.  So I did a quick turnaround, went back to the house, up the stairs as fast as I could, and off we went again.  Aaron put his seat back and slept.  We hit every single red light on the way, I do believe, but made it just before our appointment time.  Why does Aaron walk SO slow?!   And so much for getting there 15 minutes early.  I was very thankful that it wasn’t mentioned by the receptionist. 

Aaron went to the restroom then, and as I stood at the check-in counter quite a distance from the bathroom, I heard the unmistakable sound of Aaron’s laugh……and his excited whooping yell……and several booming claps.  Not of thunder, either.  It was Aaron clapping for some reason known only to him.  I stood outside the bathroom door at that point, and when the door opened Aaron got the “evil eye” for sure from me!  He was unaffected, of course, and just followed me up the hall where we waited for our name to be called.

And where he almost……almost……got off another loud clap.  But I intercepted it, and hissed out a stern warning to him about NOT clapping!!  And NOT making such noises in the public restroom!!

“You’re a grouch today,” was Aaron’s response.

“No joke,” I wanted to say but didn’t.  Why waste my breath. 

There’s that word again!!!

Aaron’s name was called at last, so we followed the medic into the hallway.  Aaron knows the routine, so he stopped at the scales…..took off his shoes…..and was weighed.  Then to the exam room, where he sat Indian style on the exam table but soon was stretched out comfortably after his vitals were taken.  No sense wasting a good place to lay down! 

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Did I really say wasting?

It was then that I noticed the large coffee stain on his shorts…..and another stain…..and some spots on his shirt.  So much for trying to be nice and clean to see the doctor!  Exam done, papers filled out, TB test read, and assurances made that he did not have to pee in a cup again today – and we were done!!

Put a little gas in the van, make our way through multiple construction zones, back to our side of town, and finally we were at Aaron’s favorite place – Carlos O’Kelly’s!  We sat down in our booth and our server was there.  And immediately Aaron said…..loudly, of course – “Can I have a regular salad?!”  It happens every time, and every time we tell Aaron to wait until we actually order food to order his salad, but he just MUST be sure that the server knows that if all else fails……if there is no other food…..no water…..if the table collapses……if the walls crumble…..CAN I HAVE A REGULAR SALAD??!!

We finished our grand day at Wal-Mart, which is the grandest of the grand in Aaron’s book.  He went to the electronics, of course, where he saw more movies that he wants and a computer mouse and headphones……

And in our cart were other things he saw and knew he could have…..CheezIts…..flavored water……and some beef jerky for Dad!  All picked out by Aaron, who was very happy.

And very tired.  He told me that he would sit on the bench and wait for me, but I saw this sight as I left the register after paying. 

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He surely doesn’t mind being comfortable wherever he may be.  Doesn’t faze him one bit to lay down in front of everybody at Wal-Mart, or make noises in the bathroom, or talk loudly for all to hear, or any number of other things that sometimes makes Mom grumpy on a bad day. 

But Aaron isn’t trying to make me have a bad day.  He’s just being Aaron. 

Kind of like Jackson was just being Jackson, doing what a dog needs to do when a dog needs to do it.  I may as well not waste my breath fussing about any of it.

I said it again, didn’t I? 

Kind of like Aaron, don’t you think?