Month: November 2022

The Sudden Dark Clouds

The other morning, I looked out my favorite upstairs window and saw this very pretty sky.  The puffy clouds and the sunshine reminded me of summer.

Not long after, however, I noticed from another room that it seemed darker outside.  I went back to the window and was shocked at what I saw.

Whoa!  In such a short time the scene had totally changed.  We went from bright and happy to dark and foreboding very quickly as a cold front began blowing in.

I have had those sudden dark times in my life. 

That Sunday years ago when our normal day turned into terror as Aaron lay on our kitchen floor, seizing violently.  The blur of a frantic call to the medical clinic…the ambulance…the German children’s hospital.  The stabs of deep fear mixed with the frustration of the language barrier and the culture that was in many ways unfamiliar. 

We went from worshipping God at church that morning to being blind-sided by a situation that we were totally unprepared for.

But let me tell you that Psalm 18:28 is true!

            “The Lord my God illumines my darkness.”

He was there with us in that foreign hospital room, during all the tests, and the diagnosis…and He has not stopped walking with us on this road of special needs.

My prayer list keeps getting longer with names of so many who are hurting and struggling through various sudden changes.

Gary’s cousin, now a much-too-young widower whose precious wife collapsed and was gone.

A friend’s daughter…a young wife and mother…fighting cancer.

A cousin and a friend recently widowed.

Jobs ended.

Marriages over.

Cancer returning.

Listen to what else David says in Psalm 27:1:

            “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?”

God brightens the unknown!

His light shines brightest in the dark.

His character positively glows in our deepest hurts and with our tear-stained cheeks.

And we have no reason to fear because He is fighting for us.  Psalm 27:1 continues:

            “The Lord is the defense of my life; whom shall I dread?”

I love the song, Blessings, by Laura Story.  Read the lyrics:

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand

To ease our suffering

And all the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things.

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?

What if Your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?

And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear

And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your word is not enough

And all the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we’d have faith to believe.

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?

What if Your healing comes through tears?

And what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?

And what if trials of this life

Are Your mercies in disguise?

I saw this beautiful scene a short time later, after the scary dark clouds had gone away, and I was reminded that God is still our light and our salvation.

Don’t fear, dear ones.  God is still there in the clouds, and He WILL illumine your darkness with His sweet presence.

Pharaoh Aaron

I see lots of people are putting up their Christmas trees and listening to Christmas music, and here I am just now finding a little time to write about Aaron’s Halloween.  Story of my life.  I’m usually a few days late and lots of dollars short!  😊

But I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to share about Aaron’s very happy day, so here goes.

About a month before Halloween and based on his ongoing up-and-down obsession with everything Egyptian and King Tut and pharaohs, he decided to browse through Amazon where he found a pharaoh costume.  We were easily talked into buying it and Aaron was over-the-moon excited at the thought of wearing it to his day group’s Halloween party.

The fact that Aaron would even wear this costume was a miracle.  He doesn’t like how unusual clothes feel on his body or the attention he gets from others if he dresses differently, but for some reason he was totally pumped about this costume.  Just look at him!

He did say he wanted people to bow to him so that might partly explain his enthusiasm.  We quickly nipped that idea in the bud, however…and also refused to give him a staff to carry.  Multiple scenes of forced homage played through our minds as we gave him a determined, “NO!”

Aaron was very excited about wearing his “uniform,” as he called it, on the morning of the party.  I wondered what people thought as I drove down our city’s main highway with a pharaoh in the front seat…especially one that kept rubbing his hands and fingers together the way our Pharaoh does.   😊

Aaron was pretty nervous, though, as we parked at Paradigm.  I had reminded him several times that everyone would love the costume and would make lots of comments, and that he needed to be nice.  Aaron doesn’t like such attention even though he does plenty to deserve attention that has nothing to do with dressing as a Pharaoh.

Just as soon as we got out of the van, there was one of his staff in the parking lot. 

“Aaron!” she exclaimed, “I LOVE your Pharaoh costume!  You look awesome!!”

“Shut up,” he softly replied.

And there we go, I thought. 

Another lecture from me and inside we went, with me more nervous about it all than Aaron at that point.

Aaron had said he only wanted to stay for a few minutes and then go back home with me.  But once inside, as he heard everyone’s excited comments about his costume, he started to relax and enjoy himself. 

He finally decided to stay for the party, so I eased out and drove home, fully expecting to soon get a call from him begging me to come pick him up.  But that didn’t happen!

Instead, when I picked him up later that afternoon, several of his friends came running to the van.  All of them said the same thing.

“Guess what?!” they said, “Aaron won first place in the costume contest!!!”

It was so touching!  There they were, most of them in their own costumes, genuinely thrilled that Aaron had been the one to win first place. 

If anyone wants to see some amazing examples of true friendship, come with me to Aaron’s day group and I can show you plenty.

Finally, Aaron made it to the van – a HUGE smile on his face. 

“MOM!!” he almost yelled, “I won FIRST place, and I got THREE dollars!!!” 

It may as well have been a million dollars.  To him, it was! 

And to me, there was no dollar amount that could be placed on the joy I felt to see him so happy, and to see his friends so happy FOR him.

But his happy day wasn’t quite over.  I had to pick up a few things at the grocery store.  I offered to take Aaron home to let him change first, but no, he wanted very much to go inside Dillon’s and show everyone his costume.  I, on the other hand, was more than a little hesitant to go inside with Pharaoh Aaron.  Regular Aaron attracts enough attention.  Pharaoh Aaron…well, that puts the “Wow, look at him!!” stares I knew we would be getting on a whole new and very high level.

But hey, I’ve learned to just smile and enjoy the ride as much as possible so off we went.  Pharaoh Aaron and I marched in the doors like it was just another day in ancient Egypt.

And yeah, we got plenty of looks.  Aaron laughed and rubbed his hands together all the way through the store.  He saw and talked to Jody first at customer service…then turned to see Harold at self-checkout bowing to him (absolutely perfect!!)…ran to the pharmacy where Marc and Greg and most of the staff laughed and where Marc talked to Pharaoh Aaron like always…then all the way across the store to the deli where Cassandra and Blake were appropriately impressed…

 He did hear several people say, “Good job!” or “You look great!”   But most of the time he was blissfully unaware of the many stares and huge smiles left in his wake.

But I was very aware, and so very happy that I had decided to let Pharaoh Aaron go with me into the store.  I imagine he brightened the day for lots of people. 

And for those who just stared at him as if he had landed on earth from Mars…silly people. 

I should turn Aaron loose on those people.  He could most definitely educate them on both Mars AND Pharaohs. 

There are no Pharaohs on Mars!

But we sure enjoyed our day here in Kansas with Pharaoh Aaron!

To Tim and Alicia

Tim, our hearts are across the country with you and the family today as you celebrate Alicia’s life.  We are with you…with Bryson, Brayden, and Willow Grace…as you honor your amazing wife and mother.

I wish I had all the answers for you and the children about why God took Alicia so suddenly and so soon.  Of course, I don’t.  No one on this earth does. 

Only God.

I wish I could take away your pain and deep grief.  Of course, I can’t.

Only God.

What I do know is that God is with you.  I know you know that, too.  You may not always feel it right now, but you know it.

I thought of you this week as I read Genesis 46, about Jacob traveling down to Egypt to see the son whom he thought was long ago dead.

Jacob was settled in Israel, content there, and old.

Israel was the land God had promised to him and his descendants.

But now Jacob was faced with the inevitable…traveling down to Egypt to see Joseph. 

Egypt. 

Egypt was the enemy.  Egypt was a place of fear…unfamiliarity…full of danger and totally distasteful to Jacob.

But God told Jacob, “I am God, the God of your father; do not be afraid to go down to Egypt…”

And God continued, “I will go down with you to Egypt, and I will also surely bring you up again…”

Tim, as the dust settles, and your life continues…but without Alicia…I pray that you and the children will know that God has gone down with you to this Egypt.

“Where can I go from Your Spirit?  Or where can I flee from Your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, You are there.  If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.

If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,

Even there Your hand will lead me, and Your right hand will lay hold of me.

If I say, surely the darkness will overwhelm me, and the light around me will be night,

Even the darkness is not dark to You, and the night is as bright as the day.

Darkness and light are alike to You.”   (Psalm 139: 7-12)

Tim, God is with you and the children in this Egypt.  And just like He promised Jacob, He will bring you up again. 

God will heal your hurt.

God will comfort your deepest sorrow.

God will walk with you each step of this very hard road.

God understands the question, “Why?!” 

Alicia, last week Tim messaged me and said that more than once you said you would love to have met me. 

Let me tell you, that I have always wished for that as well…and never more so than now after reading the multitude of posts about how many lives you touched.

Tim said you were the kindest lady he had ever known and that he was blessed to have been loved by you.

I have seen this week that this is the lifelong impact you have had on many lives as a wife, mother, sister, friend, and a brand new RN. 

And especially as a follower of Christ, your kindness and love will live on in the hearts and lives of so many people. 

Death has not…and will not…dull your testimony.

In fact, I do believe that God will use this as the means to show us all how very important it is to know Jesus personally…to shine brightly for Him…and to always be ready to meet Him.

Speaking of meeting, you and I WILL meet one day…of that I am very certain.  I look forward to that day in heaven when I do finally get to give you a big hug and to thank you for the impact you have had on my life even from afar.

Tim, Bryson, Brayden, and Willow Grace – you are covered in our prayers.

May you, as time goes on, be able to say with Jacob, “God answered me in the day of my distress and has been with me wherever I have gone.” 

We love you.