Category: Caregiving

Aaron’s Move: It’s Easier There

Aaron called me first thing this past Friday morning.  He calls first thing every morning from his group home.  We’re very glad we bought him a cell phone, but still…..

His voice was low and flat.  He immediately told me the reason.  He was having some intestinal problems.  This is nothing new for Aaron but it’s the first time he was having to deal with this issue at his group home.

“Mom?” he asked.  “Can I come home?  It’s easier there.”

I was still rubbing sleep from my eyes and wasn’t mentally prepared to wisely deal with this, much less handle the onslaught of my sudden emotions.

I did know, though, that this was our first test.  And as Aaron and I talked, I also knew that if I caved, I wouldn’t be allowing the staff both at this group home and at his day group the opportunity to handle this problem.

Going against my mother’s heart, I encouraged him to let the staff help him even as I tried hard to swallow the lump in my throat.

I could not let Aaron sense that I was upset.

He protested even as I portrayed over the phone my confidence that he would be fine. 

Fake confidence, honestly.  Not that I don’t trust the staff at his home and day group.  They are wonderful.

But letting go of Aaron like this is hardest on me. 

My phone soon rang again.  One of the staff was asking in the background where Aaron’s clean sheets were.  I could hear her and others comforting Aaron as they assured him that they were there to help.  They changed his sheets and took care of everything.

At Paradigm, his day group, the nurse gave Aaron some medicine and let him stay in her building for awhile.  He called later and sounded much better.  He even went on the outing that day and had a good time.

I understand that the pull of home hits Aaron at times, especially when he’s physically struggling.  That pull affects me even harder because it hits my mama heart.  I must go against my instincts, but I know it’s best for Aaron in the long term to learn that his staff will now care for him during these times.

He’s not the only one who needs to see this.  I do as well. 

It would have been easier at home, yes, but would not have been the best decision.

Talking about this first test still makes me cry but I also know that we passed the test not only because of the caring staff supporting Aaron, but also because of our caring God Who is walking beside us at each step.

And because of each of you who are praying and lifting us up.

Thank you so very much!

Aaron’s Move: I Wish You Were Young

Aaron is nearing one week of living in his new group home.  He has done amazingly well.  Yes, he has asked if he could come home to stay.  On Friday he called early to tell me that he didn’t want to go to his day group.  He wanted someone to come and stay with him there.  I told him he couldn’t do that and he was not very happy about that reality.  But the wonderful house staff as well as the staff at his day group helped work him through it and he had a good day.

Our sweet neighbors went to visit him yesterday afternoon.  Aaron was so surprised and happy.  Today our daughter and her family went to see Aaron.  He was super excited about that.  Ryker and Cora got to see Unkie Aaron and his new room.  Aaron was able to do his favorite thing – sharing snacks with Ryker and Cora. 

Thursday Aaron and I went to deliver for Meals on Wheels.  He got to tell all our dear clients about his new house.  We went to WalMart and out to lunch.  Aaron was happy that Dad joined us. 

Back at home, he got one of Dad’s great haircuts and shaves, I trimmed his nails, and we watched Hudson and Rex. 

When Aaron had gotten in the car that morning, the first thing he asked was if he could stay at home and not go back to his group home.  But by the time his show was over, he was ready to go back to his new room and to see Victoria.  We were so relieved and so very proud of Aaron!

Yet there are glimpses of sadness that he shows us as he adjusts to missing us and missing his home, his old life, his friends here in the neighborhood and in the stores we have frequented for years.

We got Aaron a phone and on the first day he had it a friend showed him how to FaceTime before we could do that.  He’s loving it!  He and I were on FaceTime last night.

“Mom,” he said.  “You look old, like an old lady.”

Good old honest Aaron.

“Well,” I said as I laughed, “I am old, Aaron.”

“I wish you were young,” he flatly added. “Then I wouldn’t have to be here.”

That was a gut punch for me.

You see, for a couple years we have been trying to prepare Aaron for the fact that someday he would need to move.  He didn’t like talking about that and would ask us why we would make him leave.  One reason we gave him was that we were not getting any younger and wouldn’t always be able to care for him.

He knows how to touch the deep places in our hearts without really planning to do that.  He’s just very honest with what he’s seeing and thinking. 

And that one…that really hit hard.

I stumbled around saying something that I hoped was encouraging as I blinked back tears I didn’t want him to see. 

I realize how fragile I am.  Aaron, too.  And Gary’s been hurting in a way that’s new to him. 

He told me that even though we’ve known for all these years about Aaron’s handicap, now we see it differently and more clearly than ever.  We see it in a way that shows how vulnerable Aaron is and how this huge change has rocked his stability and his comfort. 

We feel responsible for that, but we also knew that this was a decision that would ultimately need to be made one day.  It’s just that we’ve made sure Aaron was well cared for in every way for nearly 42 years.  Now he sees us as being the reason he had to move and leave us and everything he loves.

That’s a heart wrenching load to carry right now.  We know that all these feelings will ease with time for us, and we pray they ease for Aaron as well.

He really is happy where he is and we are very pleased with his progress this week.

But we can’t turn off our love for him and our concern that he knows we have not abandoned him.  We have shown him perhaps in the greatest way ever how deep our love is for him as we have given him a future that won’t depend on us being around forever.

He’ll probably never fully understand that until the time we’re all together in heaven.    

And guess what, Aaron?

I won’t ever be an old lady again! 

Aaron’s Move: Do I Have To Go?

Today was moving day for Aaron as he transitions to living in a special needs group home.  Gary and I have worked all week on his new room.  On Saturday we took him to see his room and to show him everything.  He was excited and had an ear-to-ear smile as he walked in his nearly finished room.  It helped that Victoria was there, too, and squealed with joy at every drawer that we opened and especially at the fun snacks we put into Aaron’s snack baskets.

But as the weekend wound down, we could also tell that Aaron was getting more apprehensive.  He saw his life changing as his bedroom at home became emptier and a strange room in another house now held his special things. 

This morning on the monitor I heard Aaron awake.  It was way before 5:00.  He was rustling things, walking up and down the stairs, took a shower, and even took his pills way too early.  It was all way too early.

He opened our bedroom door several times to see if I was awake.  Finally, as I faked sleep, he spoke to me and asked if he could have his coffee.  There was nothing to do but get his coffee and face whatever would come on this very sad morning.

I put his coffee on his nightstand. 

“Mom?” he said as I stood by his bed.  “Do I have to go?”

He was looking straight into my eyes, focused and unwavering.

God held back my tears as I answered him.

“Yes, Aaron, you have to go,” I told him with as much love as I could.

But my tears flowed as I walked back to the bedroom and sat down at my desk. 

This feels like betrayal of our special Aaron, but we know that we are only doing what is best for him. 

Sometimes what is best is not at all what is easiest.

God has so definitely opened this door for us, and we knew we should walk through it. 

Later, Aaron began bringing me items from his room that he wondered if he could take.  His TY stuffed animals.  His slippers.  His pajamas he had just worn.  His special pillows.

I had dreaded our last drive to Paradigm, his day group.  Dreaded seeing him leave.  But he wanted to go with me to Carly’s office, where he was met with big smiles and high fives and where Carly took this picture of me and Aaron.

I drove home, comforted and tear free, and so aware of God’s grace and of all the many family and friends who were praying for us today.

We got several pictures of Aaron and Victoria today, huge smiles on their faces.

Gary and I finished his room today.  We will still hang some things on his walls and are waiting on his new bed to come.

 Aaron rode to his group home with his housemates.  He called us tonight and we were like parents excited to hear from their child at camp or at college. 

But then he asked us why we made him leave.  We explained it yet again while feeling like we had abandoned him.  We know better and we hope Aaron does but oh, it hurts right now. 

The tears come and go for me and Gary.  Lots of tears.

But being in God’s will doesn’t mean we won’t have tears.

It does mean that God will hold our hands and comfort our broken hearts.

Just a bit ago I honestly thought I heard Aaron say, “Mom!” 

But his room here is empty.

He has a new room and a new life.

Yet we will always be his caregivers even though from a distance now.  Others will take over roles we have always held, and we pray they care for him well.

We know God will. 

And for that we are very thankful.

Aaron’s Move: Battle of the Books

The day of Aaron’s move to a group home is drawing near.  He will be moving on Monday, August 3.  It’s still hard to believe we’re really doing this. 

Aaron continues to talk excitedly about moving to anyone who will listen, or to anyone who might pause near him in a store aisle, or to anyone whom he thinks he might know even if he doesn’t……

If you see us out and about in the next few days you might want to hide unless you have extra time to listen to Aaron talk ALL about moving.

But Aaron is also showing some concerns about this huge change in his life.  He’s been talking more this week about missing us when he leaves, and about not wanting to leave his room.  Some of his increased concerns are no doubt because we have started moving some of his things over to his group home.

Aaron loves his Handy Answer Books.  I counted 31 of those books!  He has had them stacked in a very high pile beside his bed.  He won’t hear of any better ideas for their storage, so his mountain of books has stayed there and has grown even taller with each new book.

A couple days ago I put the books in three baskets and carried them to our kitchen, where I put them on our kitchen table bench waiting to be taken to his new room. 

I picked him up from his day group that afternoon.  He hurried inside and by the time I walked in the house, the books were not on the bench.  I knew exactly where they would be.

Sure enough, quick as a flash he had put the books beside his bed where, to him, they belong.  At least they were still in the baskets.

“Hey Aaron,” I said.  “I had those books downstairs so that we can take them to your new room tomorrow.”

“Well, I’M not moving tomorrow,” he quickly responded. “I want them to stay here!”

I left it alone for awhile.  Later I broached the sensitive book subject again and he agreed to let us take them to his group home.  A small yet huge step for him.

He came downstairs before he went to bed to dig in his books until he was satisfied with what he needed to see.  I just watched, not wanting to pester him in whatever his needed mission was at that moment.

Dear Aaron.  I know we can’t begin to imagine the turmoil in his life that the removal of his favorite books caused.  They are safely in his new room across town now, waiting for him to join them again.

Aaron is putting on a brave face, but we know that this change is more monumental to him than we can ever fully realize. 

Only God knows what thoughts are rumbling around Aaron’s brain as he sees the only life he’s known being uprooted and drastically changed. 

We know God is in it and that He will take care of Aaron.  He knows Aaron even better than we do and loves him even more.

God knows our worried thoughts, too, and that my heart that feels like it might break.

God didn’t clearly answer our two very huge prayers regarding Aaron moving only to leave him or us stranded.  We know that in our heads.  Our hearts are taking a little longer to adjust.

But I do look forward to seeing how this move will show us God’s loving care in very real and sweet ways.

And I would not be at all surprised to walk in Aaron’s new room one day to find all 31 Handy Answer books out of their bookcase and stacked on the floor beside his bed in a very tall book tower. 

Don’t tell Aaron, but I don’t think I would mind that one bit. 

Being Aaron’s Mother

I was awake early this morning, looking forward to coffee and quiet time before the busy start of the day began.

But just as I was climbing out of bed, so was You-Know-Who.

I thought maybe he would just go to the bathroom and back to bed.  But that hope was dashed when I heard him turn on his lamp that sits on his nightstand.  Turning that lamp on usually means he’s up to stay.

No sooner was I downstairs with my cup of coffee than I heard his familiar thump-thump-thump down the stairs. There he stood beside the table, staring at me.

I smiled and wondered if he could tell my heart wasn’t in it.

“Hey Aaron,” I said.  “It’s early and you could still sleep some.  Do you want to go back to bed?”

“No,” he replied.  “I want my coffee.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. 

“Yes,” he repeated. 

I gave him a playful look along with a little laugh.

“Don’t laugh at me!” he angrily said.  “I don’t like to be laughed at!”

And we were off and running. 

I tried to explain the difference in teasing and being rude for what I’m sure must be the millionth- something time.

And for the millionth-something time Aaron didn’t get it.

He proceeded then to come downstairs repeatedly to talk…about anything and everything.

How we didn’t pay him his allowance last night.  How barracuda live in the deep ocean and why do unmanned submersibles have to go down deep?  How long will it rain?  Can you show me on the radar?  I think I need to change clothes because it’s cold so can you pick out new ones for me?  I’m hungry.  Can I have some sausage?  Can you fix my stuffed animals in my bed?  We can’t go see Sheep Detectives at the theater since it might be crowded today so when will it be a day that’s not Mother’s Day that we can go see it.  And so forth and so on and on and on and on….

I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asked.

“Oh, nothing,” I answered.  “I’m just tired.”

“Well, I wish it wasn’t Mother’s Day and we could go see Sheep Detectives,” was his response.

Dear dear Aaron.  So oblivious to other’s feelings much of the time.

I was finally able to slip out on the patio after he was settled in his room.  It was nice to listen to the softly falling rain and the birds. 

But I thought about how many family’s plans might be disrupted on this wet beginning to Mother’s Day.

Yet we need the rain.  Feelings for many were mixed this morning, I was sure.

Mixed feelings much like I was having with Aaron on this Mother’s Day, of all days!

I love Aaron so much but on mornings like this when he interrupts my plans with his talking and his attitude, I feel frustration mounting.  He was raining on my morning!

But just like we need the rain despite the inconvenience, I often need Aaron to remind me that being his mother is a calling that God placed on my life. 

Living with Aaron isn’t all funny sayings that he comes out with that make us laugh.  It’s also repetition that gets very old…anger that tries us to the core…demands that frustrate us…worries about his health and his future that keep us awake at night….

And when despair rains down on me, though I often fail in mothering him with total grace and kindness, God doesn’t fail me.

He is always there to pick up the pieces when I break, to forgive me as I often must forgive Aaron, and to remind me of how much love He has for me and for this unique Aaron that He gave to us. 

To all of you who mother special needs children…really, children of any kind…know that God has sent the rain to grow you to be more like Him.

It’s not that he gives special children to very special parents.

It’s that He shows us very common and weak parents what a special God He is.

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The Thanks I Get?

Yesterday Aaron and I delivered roses to his day group friends at Paradigm.  Our local Dillon’s store and our sweet friend Jody organize this special treat every year. The smiles and excitement are so much fun to see.  

Last night Aaron was cleaning out the bag he takes to Paradigm.  He came running into the kitchen holding…something.

“MOM!” he excitedly said, “this is for you!”

He held out…this.

“Victoria wanted me to give you this to say thanks for the rose today!” he explained.

It was so hard not to laugh.  

This…was an old, mangled, broken candy cane, complete with food crumbs stuck in the open spots.

Now, I know Aaron and I know with a fair degree of certainty that Victoria did NOT send me that worn out candy cane.  Aaron found it in the bottom of his messy bag and impulsively came up with what he thought was a solid story whereupon he could gift me with…this. 

Aaron’s love language is giving gifts.  

He just needs a little work sometimes on the choice of gifts he gives.

We’ve been having some rough times with Aaron.  He’s been struggling with some things that make him respond with anger toward us.  

A trait of autism is a focus on oneself because they want their world to operate in the order that gives them peace.  Interruptions to that order can cause lots of anger, taken out on me and Gary at home.

Then there’s the care that Aaron requires on so many levels, care that often ties us down and intrudes upon the way we sometimes want OUR world to go.

I’m not complaining and I hope I don’t sound selfish.  These are just the facts.  Parents of children are caregivers, and having our adult Aaron still with us is like having a child still at home.  Special needs then compound the situation a lot!

It’s easy to get mired down in the daily and to feel like all I do for Aaron is unrecognized by him, which is often true.  

Like I’m left holding onto more broken when I’ve had enough, thank you.

But one morning I was especially encouraged when I read the words of Nehemiah 5:19:

“Remember me with favor, O my God, for all that I have done for this people.”

Caregiving is so often self-sacrificing, but it’s a walk of life that honors God.  I don’t always have the right attitude, and I have anger issues sometimes, too.  

Yet so many times, during the mundane or dirty work, when I am tired and feeling very unappreciated, I remember that I am remembered. 

I am remembered by God.  He sees me.  

And everything I do, I really am to do for Him.

There are many of us working day after day after day to care for someone in our lives.  We are not on a public stage, sought after and held in high esteem.

But we are noticed by God, whom Hebrews tells us will not forget our work and labor of love we have shown for Him by helping His people.

And this…this is a promise I can hold on to when the serving is hard.  

It’s like the biggest and best thanks ever!

You Never Do That To Me!

One of Aaron’s biggest struggles is with jealousy.  And sadly, he is often the most jealous of the attention that we pay to our grandchildren.

Being Uncie Aaron is not always the joy to him that we hoped it would be.

On Saturday, Gary took Ryker for a ride around our yard on his riding lawn mower.   (No worries – the blades were up).  Sure enough, Aaron took note and soon said the all too familiar, “You never do that to me!”

So, Gary looked at Aaron and said, “Hop on!”

It was hilarious to look at Aaron sitting on Gary’s lap.  Aaron was really too big to fit and it was very awkward.  But good for Gary to give it a go!  And he could only go in reverse, which made it even funnier.  

How many times we have talked to Aaron about his place in our family as we assure him of our love!  

I was thinking about this as I continued my study in Nehemiah today.  Those that worked to restore the walls of Jerusalem, the temple, and the worship shared many various duties and positions.

Some were in high positions of leadership while others carried wood or cleaned up the many messes that were made.  Yet each person was appointed by God to the job he had for them.

Do you ever wonder about your place in life?  

Maybe you once held a position that is now gone.  

Or you never had a chance to prove that you could do what that other person is doing.  

Perhaps life has radically changed for you because of your health issues or age or finances or…you fill in the blank.

It’s so tempting to look at God and say, like Aaron, “God, you never do that for me!”

Comparison to others is the robber of joy.

Social media can be a real problem in this area.  I can be just fine and out of the blue see a post that makes me wish for something I don’t have.  

It can be any number of things, but the result is the same.

Ugly jealousy.

Discontent.

And if I don’t nip it in the bud, I might begin questioning God.

When we started our married life, Gary and I never dreamed that we would have a child with special needs.

Caregiving is not a life of leisure and does not allow for spontaneity in our lives.  Caring for Aaron is our life.  

We must consider him first in everything we do.

Your struggles are probably different from mine, but each of us do have those areas of raw questions that we may not share with anyone else but God.

Oh, but God!

He has given me that visual of Aaron riding on Gary’s lap to remind me that what I may desire is not His place for me.

I wouldn’t fit there.

God has put me here, where I am.  

If I don’t believe that then I am not living in obedience and trust to the God Who really does love me.

The God Who has put me in this place in His family for a specific reason.

So Lord, help me to get off that tractor where I sometimes want to be. 

Change my “You never do that to me!” to “Thank you for what you do FOR me in this place where you have put me!”

Uncie Aaron…His Buddy and His Burden

Time waits on no man, Chaucer said.  Time waits on no child, either.  We see this clearly as we watch Ryker growing.  Pictures from a few months ago compared to now show his physical growth.  New words and speaking in sentences show his intellectual growth.  

It brings joy mixed with a dose of sadness as all parents and grandparents know very well.

Ryker and Aaron’s relationship is also growing with time.  We have seen great strides on Aaron’s part in his friendship with his little nephew.  

Sometimes Aaron sees Ryker as his buddy.

Aaron still loves giving Ryker snacks.

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He didn’t even mind Ryker taking his favorite chair one day.

They play funny make-believe games.

Wear goofy hats of Aaron’s.

Watch cars zoom down the track.

Do chalk drawings.

Laugh at silly cartoons.

Thoroughly enjoy water balloons.

Blow dandelions.

Play music.

Occasionally share the playset.

Fly a plane.

And one of the best is when they watched our fireworks on the Fourth.

It’s just the cutest thing to see Aaron look at Ryker and say, “Ryker!  Come on!”  Then to see Ryker bolt as fast as he can on his little legs to run with Aaron up the stairs to Aaron’s room where all sorts of fun and unique gadgets await his exploration.  

And snacks that are new to Ryker!  Dots!  Red Hots!  Pistachios! 

And gum!  

So, you can see that we must monitor things closely, sometimes much to Aaron and Ryker’s frustration.

But for all the positive steps forward, Aaron still carries the burden of his autistic way of processing his world and how others impact it.

Aaron sends mixed signals to Ryker.  One minute he might be happily allowing Ryker to play with one of his cool toys and the next he might yell no to Ryker for touching another treasured item.  

Aaron can be hurtful with his words during those times, and inappropriate.  

Therefore, we must also monitor those moments as we try to foresee certain triggers that might upset Aaron.  We’re just never totally in the clear and probably never will be.

Yet, again, the progress Aaron has made truly gives us much for which to thank the Lord.  

The challenges cause us to seek God’s patience and wisdom as well.

Speaking of prayer, this has been one of the sweetest and funniest areas of Uncie Aaron and Ryker’s relationship.  

Aaron has never forgotten a silly prayer that he heard in an old Don Knott’s movie when he was a child.  He sometimes yells it out when we get ready to ask the blessing before eating.

“Rub-a-dub-dub!!  Thanks for the grub!!” 

No amount of correction on our part has kept Aaron from blurting that out sometimes.  So, you guessed it.  One day as we all sat at the table and joined hands, Aaron gleefully yelled, “Rub-a-dub-dub!”

And Ryker, without missing a beat, chirped “Rub-a-dub-dub!!”

Let’s close our eyes to pray now…and let the adults grin real big!

Every night as part of Aaron’s bedtime routine, we join hands and pray.  Ryker has joined us before.  One night I asked Ryker if he wanted to pray with us, so he scurried up on the bed, took our hands, and immediately launched into his own prayer.  We didn’t understand much of what he said, but it was precious in God’s eyes, I know, and certainly in ours.  

Andrea shared with us Ryker’s prayer one night at their house.  I had come over to help with the baby.  Laying in his bed before he went to sleep, Ryker prayed:

“Dear Jesus, dank you Gramoo.  Dank you Uncie Aaron.  Dank you donuts.”

Out of the mouths of babes.

Dear Jesus, dank you Uncie Aaron.  Even in the frustrations…the continual training that sometimes never seems to take hold…the corrections…the monitoring…

May we see the joy he also brings…the laughter…the delight at the simplest things that we often overlook.

And the huge progress he’s made in his role as Uncie Aaron.

Let’s not forget donuts!

Rub-a-dub-dub!!

Another Lunch With Aaron

“Where are you eating lunch today?” asked the ladies at the front desk as Aaron and I left his Epilepsy doctor visit.  

“Chili’s!!” Aaron answered excitedly.

“Oh, I love Chili’s,” one said.

“I want to go to Chili’s!” added the other.

Aaron chuckled loudly as we left the waiting room, me warm with their always welcoming chatter with Aaron…and Aaron walking with purpose now because finally we were going to lunch!  After all, eating out is the real objective of every doctor appointment, at least for Aaron.

Soon we were pulling under a shade tree in the Chili’s parking lot, where Aaron was quickly opening his door while I quickly told him to wait on me.  He did, thankfully, and together we walked in the door.  

Curious stares greeted us as Aaron barreled in and had eyes for only one thing…the toothpick dispenser.  You see, Aaron “collects” toothpicks, so he makes a beeline in every restaurant to the sharp little prizes he knows are on the front counter.  He proceeded to increase his collection while I trailed slightly behind him, trying to greet the host while simultaneously attempting to discreetly tug Aaron away from the toothpicks.  Aaron was unaware of the host saying hello or of the all-too familiar looks he was receiving from the puzzled host.  He was too busy stuffing toothpicks in his pocket, but he did have presence of mind enough to tell the host we wanted a booth while I reminded him that any seat was fine.  

I was just happy to finally be seated.  Our server appeared quickly.  I could tell right away that he was comfortable with Aaron, and I hoped that attitude would last.  We were still early into his Aaron experience and one just never knows.

“Hello,” he happily said.  “My name is Luke and I’ll be taking care of you today.”

“Can I have a salad with NO croutons and TWO ranches??!!” Aaron bellowed.  

And for at least the millionth time I reminded Aaron that our server was taking our drink orders now.  Food orders would come later.

“Oh OK,” Aaron replied as if this was new news.  

Our waters came and the instant Luke asked if we were ready to order…

“Can I have a salad with NO croutons and TWO ranches??!!”

I guess I don’t need to tell you whose order that was.

Luke was smiling broadly as Aaron continued his order.  Aaron always asks IF he can have the menu items he wants, as if he needs permission from the server.  I don’t even try to correct him anymore.  I figure it’s part of Aaron’s charm.

We munched on chips and salsa while waiting for our meals, Aaron pretty much talking non-stop.  Luke was very attentive and kind, checking on us often with a big smile. 

A few young men walked by our table.  The stare one of them gave Aaron made me want to tell him to take a page out of Luke’s playbook.  Aaron is NOT an alien so quit looking at him like he is, I wanted to yell.  Although as I have often said, Aaron would think looking like an alien is super cool!

 I did have to monitor situations sometimes as we sat in our booth that Aaron wanted.  He turned to stare at the people sitting near us, uncomfortably so, and I had to remind him to turn around and not to stare.  

“I just wanted to see what they were eating,” he explained.

Then came the reminder to not point at the large group of people behind me as he informed me that they must be having a party.

“But I just think they’re having a party,” he told me as he pointed again!

Luke stopped again to check on us.

“Can we have chips and salsa to take home??!!” Aaron loudly asked while I protested and Luke said, “Sure!!” much to Aaron’s happy laughing delight.

Finally, Aaron was full, and we were ready to go.  As we stood up, Aaron edged slightly close to the woman in the booth behind us as he stared down at her plate.  I was trying to gently pull him back.  Her husband eyed Aaron suspiciously and I hoped to catch his eye and apologize but he was fixed on Aaron.

I again explained to Aaron how inappropriate and embarrassing that was as we walked away while he again explained that he just wanted to see what she was eating.  

And again, I ran interference as we passed the hostess desk, and he smelled the scent of those toothpicks.  I succeeded in averting the toothpick theft this time as the eyes of the host eyed Aaron once again.

We made it inside our hot car.

WHEW!!

Another lunch on the books.  

Another group of people with varying impressions of our Aaron.

Another reminder that when an Aaron walks into your life for even this brief time, just smile like Luke…disregard Aaron’s pointing…understand that he is curious about other people’s plates and parties…and whatever you do…

DON’T STARE!!

I just might let him point at you and stare back!  

Burping and Serving

A friend posted a story on Facebook today that deeply touched me.  A prisoner talked about the huge impact made on a rough group of fellow prisoners and himself by none other than a nondescript janitor who had worked for years at the prison.  This little woman spoke to those hardened men as she held her broom and her words were used by God to pierce their hard hearts with the gospel.  

He said, “Because that janitor, a woman without a title, without a stage – she delivered a sermon that still gets me choked up.  She didn’t come to save us.  She came to serve.  And in doing so, she became the loudest gospel I’d ever heard.”

Our family has been through some tough times lately.  Even though the worst is hopefully over, by God’s grace, things are still upended in several ways.  Last week I knew that we were entering into a time where we as parents and grandparents would be needed daily.  I was wondering how we would do it all.  My wondering and planning were quickly turning into worry, and even into dread.

A week ago yesterday was the first day of our “new” duty, so to speak.  And in the very early quiet of that morning, God reached down through what I was already reading and spoke perfect words of encouragement to me.  

“Set your mind on things that are above…”. (Colossians 3:2)

God reminded me that what I needed to do was remember that every act of service I do is really for Him.  To set my mind on serving Him through even the most mundane acts is such a joy.  And truly, this week God has given me strength and peace and joy that can only come through Him.  

That very afternoon I had a call from a precious friend.  I was so excited to tell her how God broke through my dread and worry and instead gave me such settled peace and joy.  This friend cares for her family so well, including her special needs son.

“Why is it,” I asked her, “that we so often think we have to go to the mission field before we’re really serving the Lord when He gives us all these ways to serve Him in our own families?”

Every mile driven.

Every baby burped.

Every poopy diaper changed.

Every song sung.

Every story told.

Every ball thrown.

Every bubble blown.

Every meal cooked.

Every cheek kissed.

Set my mind on things above, God.  On You.  On the joy of serving You as I love and help my family.

That little prison janitor touched toughened hearts through her acts of service.  Her stage was a prison meeting room, holding her broom and mop, her dirty bucket of water sitting beside her.

God loves using the weak things of this world to confound the mighty.  

Jesus washed feet.  

He touched lepers and unclean women.

He ate with sinners, with those who were cast out of proper society.

What stage do you have today where God can use you to serve Him?

Holding a baby?

Holding a book to read to your child?

Holding a door for the one in the wheelchair?

Holding a crying friend?

Holding the hand of your dying spouse?

Oh, may we not desire the center stage with the lights and the applause.

May we instead desire, and fully realize, that serving God right where He has put us in the center of His will is the very best use of this life He has given us.