Being Aaron’s Mother

I was awake early this morning, looking forward to coffee and quiet time before the busy start of the day began.

But just as I was climbing out of bed, so was You-Know-Who.

I thought maybe he would just go to the bathroom and back to bed.  But that hope was dashed when I heard him turn on his lamp that sits on his nightstand.  Turning that lamp on usually means he’s up to stay.

No sooner was I downstairs with my cup of coffee than I heard his familiar thump-thump-thump down the stairs. There he stood beside the table, staring at me.

I smiled and wondered if he could tell my heart wasn’t in it.

“Hey Aaron,” I said.  “It’s early and you could still sleep some.  Do you want to go back to bed?”

“No,” he replied.  “I want my coffee.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. 

“Yes,” he repeated. 

I gave him a playful look along with a little laugh.

“Don’t laugh at me!” he angrily said.  “I don’t like to be laughed at!”

And we were off and running. 

I tried to explain the difference in teasing and being rude for what I’m sure must be the millionth- something time.

And for the millionth-something time Aaron didn’t get it.

He proceeded then to come downstairs repeatedly to talk…about anything and everything.

How we didn’t pay him his allowance last night.  How barracuda live in the deep ocean and why do unmanned submersibles have to go down deep?  How long will it rain?  Can you show me on the radar?  I think I need to change clothes because it’s cold so can you pick out new ones for me?  I’m hungry.  Can I have some sausage?  Can you fix my stuffed animals in my bed?  We can’t go see Sheep Detectives at the theater since it might be crowded today so when will it be a day that’s not Mother’s Day that we can go see it.  And so forth and so on and on and on and on….

I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asked.

“Oh, nothing,” I answered.  “I’m just tired.”

“Well, I wish it wasn’t Mother’s Day and we could go see Sheep Detectives,” was his response.

Dear dear Aaron.  So oblivious to other’s feelings much of the time.

I was finally able to slip out on the patio after he was settled in his room.  It was nice to listen to the softly falling rain and the birds. 

But I thought about how many family’s plans might be disrupted on this wet beginning to Mother’s Day.

Yet we need the rain.  Feelings for many were mixed this morning, I was sure.

Mixed feelings much like I was having with Aaron on this Mother’s Day, of all days!

I love Aaron so much but on mornings like this when he interrupts my plans with his talking and his attitude, I feel frustration mounting.  He was raining on my morning!

But just like we need the rain despite the inconvenience, I often need Aaron to remind me that being his mother is a calling that God placed on my life. 

Living with Aaron isn’t all funny sayings that he comes out with that make us laugh.  It’s also repetition that gets very old…anger that tries us to the core…demands that frustrate us…worries about his health and his future that keep us awake at night….

And when despair rains down on me, though I often fail in mothering him with total grace and kindness, God doesn’t fail me.

He is always there to pick up the pieces when I break, to forgive me as I often must forgive Aaron, and to remind me of how much love He has for me and for this unique Aaron that He gave to us. 

To all of you who mother special needs children…really, children of any kind…know that God has sent the rain to grow you to be more like Him.

It’s not that he gives special children to very special parents.

It’s that He shows us very common and weak parents what a special God He is.