I realize that it’s way beyond time for a baby update. Speaking of time…where has it gone?!
Andrea will probably be admitted to the hospital this evening for an induction. She is on blood thinner because of an autoimmune disease so in order to change and manage that medicine, her delivery had to be scheduled. We would value your prayers for her and for their baby…our grandson!…during this process.
Aaron is up and down about being Uncle Aaron. He is so focused on the issue that he is making himself nervous about it. He talks and talks about being an uncle, to absolutely anyone who will listen…or who can’t help but listen as a captive audience in a check-out line, at their job, neighbors…
“I don’t WANT to be an uncle!” he declares.
Then he listens as he is told once again that being an uncle is a fun job. And that he will do a great job of being Uncle Aaron.
“But I might have to change his diaper!” Aaron says.
And that has been the biggest subject of conversation for Aaron. Changing diapers!
The nurse and staff at his day group have been so wonderful to help ease him through his diaper fixation. Look at these pictures from this past Friday as once again the nurse let Aaron practice changing a diaper. He’s always so excited to tell us that he passed the diaper changing test!
Added to diaper duty…which we have assured Aaron will not be required of him…is the actual trip to Texas to meet his nephew. Aaron is not a happy traveler. Therefore, his angst is increasing more than his excited anticipation.
All these matters tend to muddy our own joy.
I knew this from the very beginning, though.
I knew that I would struggle with being far from Andrea during her pregnancy and during her delivery and recovery.
And especially, being too far away to meet my grandson quickly and often.
That’s why, on the very night that Andrea and Kyle told us back in May that a baby was coming, I knew that a struggle for me was ahead.
I know me very well.
The next morning, as I continued my study in I Timothy, I asked the Lord to give me a verse or a part of a verse to claim during these months…actually, years…ahead.
God does not disappoint!
There it was!
A phrase in I Timothy 4:10 jumped right out at me and settled in my heart.
“…we have fixed our hope on the living God…”
I was so thankful!
My memorial stone was quickly written beside that verse: Baby Kester, May 22, 2022.
How many times, when I have started down that path of wishing for things that are not to be…or I have begun to compare myself to others…or I have questioned God’s ways…this phrase has calmed and assured me.
For if I can’t trust God in this area of my life, when CAN I trust Him?
Then just last week, as I was in the book of Hebrews and reading about Moses in chapter 11, there it was again.
Verse 27: “…Moses endures, as seeing Him who is unseen.”
Guess what the words “seeing Him” mean?
They mean that Moses’ eyes were fixed.
As in, “…we have fixed our hope on the living God.”
I was so touched that at the beginning of this grandbaby journey…and now nearing the end of the pregnancy…God once again told me to fix my eyes on Him.
This verb used in Hebrews refers to an artist whose eyes are fixed on the subject he is painting. He focuses solely on the subject, not on the distractions around him.
Raymond Brown also points out that this word indicates a determined choice.
“Westcott says that it is used by classical writers in the sense of ‘looking from one object to another.’ We fix our eyes on the ultimate, not the immediate, on the eternal reward rather than our temporal gain.”
What I really want to get across in all of this is this: I may be tired of my circumstances in some ways, but I am not hopeless!
I have fixed my hope on the living God!
God understands my desires and He knows my heart.
He keeps saying, “Patty! Focus!!” as my eyes begin to wander to the distractions around me and I start to be discouraged or sad.
God is so good to me. He understands and He does not demand perfection from me.
Just trust, and hope.
Hope in the living God Who has a reason and a plan for every part of my life, grandbaby included.
Hope in the living God Who sent His own Son as a baby so that I could have that hope.
I hope I have happy baby news very soon!
And Aaron hopes that he really doesn’t have to change diapers!