Aaron’s Talking Points #16

I save some of Aaron’s funny sayings and conversations so that I can share them.  After all, my blog is titled He Said WHAT?!  These are older ones.  He talks so much, and I can’t keep up with sharing like I should.  Enjoy!

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Our newly widowed little 88-year-old neighbor came over for supper tonight. Just as we started to eat, Aaron looked at Gary and said, “Hey Dad, is sex a bad word?” 

Nice, Aaron. Really nice.

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Gary was trimming some branches from a tree.  Aaron was sitting nearby and some of the sawdust fell on him.  A couple days later Aaron said, “Mom, remember when that tree dust fell on me?” 

For crying out loud, even my trees are dusty!!

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Aaron has been wanting a Nintendo Switch. We’ve told him that we’re NOT going out to buy a Nintendo Switch. It costs $300.00, for heaven’s sake! He and Barb looked it up on her computer today.

Aaron: MOM!! The Nintendo Switch is $299.00! That’s not even $300.00!!!

In Aaron’s world, this is a huge difference. But not in mine.

😅 😅 💸

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Aaron was trying to talk me into giving him more money tomorrow since he’s going to Wal-Mart with his group. I said no and told him that he ended up giving money away half the time and he doesn’t need more. He then walked over to Gary, who was sitting at the table, and quietly said, “Do you agree with that?”

Oh, Aaron! I guess he hoped he had one more shot!

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Aaron: There was no new MacGyver on last night. It was an award of Emmy!

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After his doctor appointment today, Aaron and I went to Cheddar’s for lunch.

“MOM!! Are they taking those fish out of that tank and fixing them for lunch?!” 😲😬😂

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Aaron’s had some seizures the past two nights. He woke up very hungry.

“Mom!! When I got out of bed, my stomach felt skinny!” 😃😃

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When Aaron finally realized this morning that his fate was sealed and he was going to Paradigm, he became inpatient to leave NOW. Watching me quickly slap on some makeup wasn’t making him happy.

“Mom!! Dad’s stuff he puts on is quicker than yours!!” 😃

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Nearly every night when Aaron is FINALLY in bed and we have completed his bedtime routine, he will invariably have one more thing he must talk about before he can go to sleep. Sometimes I make it two or three steps up the hall before he says, “MOM??” Or, as was the case last night, I was just closing his door when he thought of that one more piece of info he needed before he could sleep.

Aaron: MOM??

Me (sighing, which Aaron doesn’t notice or care about): What, Aaron?

Aaron: So first there’s 12 a.m. and then there’s 12 p.m.

Me (thinking in my tired head and not saying it out loud): REALLY??!!!!

Me (what I really said): Yes, there is.

Aaron: So, during the night it becomes morning.

Pause from Aaron as he waited for my response.

Pause from me as I hoped he was done, and I could leave.

No such luck.

Aaron: So, during the night it becomes morning.

Me (whose brain isn’t ready for this discussion after 9:00 p.m. Actually, not at 9:00 a.m. either): Yes, Aaron, it’s something like that.

Aaron: How come?

Me (leaning against the door frame now because of the dreaded HOW COME question!!!): It’s because…that’s just the way time is! Good night and sleep well and I’ll see you in the morning and I love you.

Oh my goodness!! I said the words “night” and “morning” – but he didn’t seem to notice as I walked quickly down the hall.

Where does he come up with this stuff at 10:30 P.M.???!!!!

🙃 🌙 🌞 😆

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When we travel, we take snacks and then try to just eat out once a day. Aaron thinks that no one on a trip should just eat out once a day.

Aaron: I need to use the bathroom.

Gary: Ok. We’ll look for a place.

Aaron: I was thinking of a bathroom in a restaurant.

Smooth move, Aaron! Hahaha!!

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Aaron’s doing great so far as we drive to Houston. He’s excited to see Andrea and the doggies. He’s VERY excited at the prospect of eating out. Earlier this morning:

Aaron: Will we eat out on the way there? I’m talking about at a restaurant.

We said yes.

Aaron: We will do it for lunch, right?

Gary: Maybe for supper, too.

Aaron: Like what time is supper?

We told him we don’t know.

Aaron: So we would do it for lunch and supper, Mom?

Yes, Aaron.

At 10:37:

Aaron: I’m getting hungry, Dad. But I’ll wait til 12:00.

Aaron does not leave his schedule behind when we travel. 😊

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Aaron and I passed a convertible, top down and a dog enjoying the ride with his owner. 

Aaron: “Mom, do you like those kind of cars where the lid comes off?” 😁

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Aaron loves to listen to music in the van while I drive him to meet his group. This morning as we headed to the van he said, “Mom, can you play that Sarah that sings about that love thing?” 

Yep, Aaron’s all about relationships.

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Aaron loves to talk about our wedding picture and comments about how young I was or how skinny I was. 

His latest: “Mom, in your wedding picture your hair was thin.” 

Good grief! Even my hair has gained weight?! I’m hiding that picture!!

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Tonight Aaron told me that the alley where his group bowled last week was near Hoots.  

“Hoots?,” I asked.  

“Yeah”, he said.  “You know, Hoots! That restaurant you won’t let me eat at.” 

Oh my goodness.  It was another bite-my-tongue and try-not-to-laugh moment!  

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Our normal evening routine was disrupted tonight by waiting until it was nearly dark to light some sparklers and throw down some Pop-Its and then visit with our neighbors. When we came inside, Aaron still wanted to watch a Blue Bloods episode – we just started season one. It was late, but I said OK.

We finished watching it. When it was over, Aaron looked immediately at his watch.

“Oh my!” he said. “It’s 10:49!”

It’s good to end this day with a laugh. Time for bed! 😀💙

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We started the last leg of our drive home this morning. One of the first things Aaron wanted to know was what time we would be home, so we told him it would be around 4:00.

At 3:09:

Aaron: When will we be home?

Me: In about an hour.

Aaron: No. You said 4:00.

Gary: What time is it?

Aaron: 3:09.

Gary: Then it’s about an hour.

Aaron: No. It’s 51 minutes.

🕓❤😀

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Aaron’s decided that he prefers boneless meat. Yesterday he came running in from his group and his first question was, “Mom, what are we having for supper?” I told him that we were having T-Bones. Without missing a beat he asked, “Are they boneless?!” 

You know, Dillons was all out of boneless T-BONES so I had to get T-BONES with bones! 

This time I did laugh.

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And I hope that you have enjoyed some smiles and laughs like we have with Aaron’s comments and antics.  

‘Til next time!

Looking For a Smile

I was standing in the grocery store aisle one day when I noticed someone walking toward me.  I looked up to see an older woman headed my way.  I stepped back out of her way as she came nearer.  I noticed that she seemed to be trudging instead of just walking.  She looked burdened and tired.  Our eyes met and I gave her a smile.  She stopped in her tracks.

“Oh,” she said to me.  “I’ve been looking for a smile all day!  Thank you for giving me a smile!”  

And with that she returned my smile, her happy face beaming.  We talked briefly and left with a God bless you coming from both our joyful faces.  

It cost me nothing to share a smile with this dear lady, yet I felt like a million bucks as I walked away…and I dare say she did as well.

Sometimes smiles come easily.  Solomon talked about that in Proverbs 15:13 when he said, “A glad heart makes a cheerful face.”  

But at other times, I feel more like what Solomon described in the second part of that verse: “…but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.”

Aaron had an epic meltdown last night.  I ended up in joining him on the meltdown wagon.  That’s never a good feeling, for me or him, but especially for me.  My spirit did feel crushed last night with sorrow in my heart.  Guilty, too, and tired.  Gary and I both were spent.

Aaron woke up happy today.  He doesn’t seem to feel the residual effects of these occasions like we do.  Later, he and I went to the store.  There in one of the aisles, I saw two women coming toward us.  In their cart was a little dog.  I knew instantly what Aaron would do.

“Aaron,” I quietly said, “do NOT pet that little dog.  Those ladies may not want you to do that, plus that dog doesn’t know you.”

Aaron, surprisingly, didn’t reach out to pet the dog.  But he craned his neck like Gumby as we walked by, and the ladies couldn’t help but notice.  Then Aaron stopped to stare some more.  

And they smiled.

So, I told them that Aaron loves dogs and asked if he could pet their little guy.

“Of course!” one of them said.

Aaron was very happy, I was relieved and thankful, and the kind ladies smiled and smiled as Aaron gently stroked the dog’s fur.  Turns out his name was Little Bit, which Aaron and I loved.

I thanked them as we parted ways.  Later, as we left the store, we passed one of the ladies and she gave us a sweet, warm smile as she wished us a good day…and I did the same.  

I could tell they liked Aaron and understood that he was special, of course.  This small interaction soothed my sorrowful heart, pushing out most of the sorrow and replacing it with gladness.

This time I was the one in the store with the burden, but two kind ladies took the time to share smiles and Little Bit with a tired mom and a chuckling Aaron.

And I believe God notices more than a little bit those kindnesses that do more than we know to lift a tired heart.

Much To Them

Some time ago I was fixing Rice Krispie Treats.  Aaron stood and watched for a minute, and then asked if he could eat some marshmallows.  Since I have never been a big fan of eating marshmallows that aren’t in Rice Krispie treats or in my holiday fruit salad, I told him that I wasn’t sure if he would like them, either.  He wondered why.

“Well, they’re mostly puffed sugar,” I told him. “There isn’t much to them.”

“There’s much to them to me!” he answered in no uncertain terms.  

Aaron didn’t realize it, but he had perfectly described how he runs his life.  What would probably seem superfluous to us is not viewed that way at all by Aaron.  Let me give some examples of what is important to Aaron in his autistic world.  Not just important, but absolutely necessary.

Aaron set the table one Christmas.  Look at his multiple forks and spoons.  At least he arranged them neatly.  He always requires several forks, spoons, and sometimes knives, no matter what he is eating.  There’s much to them to Aaron!

There is also much to the number of plates and bowls Aaron wants when he eats.  I’m so thankful for my dishwasher!

When Aaron “goes to bed” at night he reads, listens to music, works on his sticker book, and sometimes plays a game.  He starts this routine early.  A big element of his bedtime is to arrange special items on his bed in just the perfect spots and order.  This includes a stack of greeting cards that he has saved over the years, a cat book that he isn’t reading but that he must have on his bed, his back scratcher, and various items.  I just shake my head but there is much to them to Aaron!

Aaron was eating a bag of popcorn the other day.  Look at the bag and you will understand why Aaron kept telling us, “I love ridiculously cheesy popcorn!”  Or “Tomorrow I want to buy more of that ridiculously cheesy popcorn.”  And “I seem to like this ridiculously cheesy popcorn.”  What seemed ridiculous to us meant much to Aaron.  What’s printed on the bag is part of the name, people!  We just smiled.

Yet there are times when the things that mean much to Aaron can cause great frustration and anger when they don’t work out as he expects.  One of the biggest issues for him is when his schedule is disrupted.  Whatever…or whoever…causes the disruption is often the object of Aaron’s deep frustration.  His tongue can be hurtful, and his anger can be deep when things don’t go his way.  We work on that all the time and praise him when he handles change well, like he did at Christmas.

It’s easy to get very frustrated with Aaron when he won’t budge out of his routine…won’t quit talking about the same topic of interest over and over and over…runs out to our neighbors when they’re taking a walk so he can talk to THEM about said topic…won’t wait patiently for hardly anything…and so many other issues.

Autism is so complex, and everyone is different.  Yet every single autistic person has those tightly held focuses that are “much to them,” and they are not going to let go of those things.  

It’s best to try to understand that fact and then work with them with as much love and understanding as you can muster.  

I know from many years of experience with Aaron that it isn’t always easy, but it’s always best to attempt to approach issues from his viewpoint to better understand why on earth he’s reacting the way he is.  

And always, eventually…when the dust settles…to show him by my words and actions that he matters.

To show him that his unique ways are worth my time…that “there’s much to them to me.”

And therefore, Aaron, “there’s much to YOU to me!”

Lessons From the Icicles

 

It’s been another very mild and very dry winter here in Kansas.  It’s felt and even looked more like spring than winter this year.  While it’s been nice not to find ourselves maneuvering over slick roads, we do need some moisture.  And boy, did we get it!  A huge storm plowed into Kansas this week, leaving us in our part of the state with at least 14 inches of beautiful snow.  We woke up to a world of glimmer as the sun shone brightly on the newly fallen snow.  The ground is encased in a sparkly white wrap, fresh and mostly untouched in our big back yard. 
 
I also noticed another result of our massive snow storm as I looked out of our upstairs windows.  There hang long rows of icicles.  They have their own unique beauty, all clear and shiny like hanging crystals.  No two seem to be the same shape as the once dripping water has frozen into various forms and sizes.  Icicles are fascinating to observe and can be very pretty when the sun is shining on them, causing them to gleam in the light.  But icicles also have another aspect.  They can be sharp and dangerous as well. 
  
This morning I saw that the icicles hanging on the front of our house were starting to drip.  They were melting because they were facing east, where the morning sun was beating down upon them.  There was not a cloud in the sky and even though the temperature was cold, the warmth of the sun was still able to reach into their icy coverings and begin the melting process. 
Soon I walked into another bedroom on the west side of our house, where the sun was not yet reaching.  There hung another long row of icicles, still firm and cold in the shadow of the morning.  The sun had not yet touched these frozen fingers of ice, so they were still solid and stiff.  They didn’t really even appear as shiny and beautiful as the icicles that were being touched by the sun.  These hanging jabs of ice seemed colder, even more harsh, than the icicles in the front that were warming in the sun.
 
These icicles reminded me of some of the lingering results of personal storms in my  life…….especially times that have involved the hurt inflicted by others.  I imagine that you have had those hurts as well.  We all experience that pain at some point in our lives.  If we’re not careful, those wounds can develop into icy slivers of bitterness in our hearts.  Where there was once the flowing warmth of relationship there is now the frozen stab of disappointment that has pierced our heart.  Sometimes the situation is private and no one knows about it but us.  Other times the hurt is very public and embarrassing, misunderstood and whispered about by others.  The results are the same, though.  The pain created by these wounds is still very intense regardless of how they occur.
 
Solomon wrote about these matters.  In Proverbs 14:10 he said, “The heart knows its own bitterness…..”  No one but us knows what is in our hearts.  We may appear to be fine and normal to others, but those icy shards of bitterness have frozen our hearts.  We dwell on the situation and rehash the hurtful words and scenarios over and over again.  Our heart knows its bitterness, so very well, and we become numb in our pain……….and numb to the other Person who also knows what is in our heart.  God knows…..and He does care very much about that chill that has encased us and frozen us. 
 
In Ephesians 4:31-32, there are several sins that God tells us to put away.  The first one listed is bitterness.  Then God says to “……be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other…..”  So how can I be kind and tender and forgiving to those that have hurt me so deeply?  How can my heart be warmed again when it is so frozen with injustice and pain?   Well, it’s not easy, but God tells us here that the first way to start is to remember that we are to forgive “……..just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”     How can I be unforgiving when I have been SO forgiven by God?  I am forgiven……..and I must be forgiving to others. 
 
When I take this first step and realize my position in Christ, then His light will begin to thaw that immobile, cold heart of mine.  Forgiveness here carries the idea of releasing.  I need to constantly release to God the people and the situations that have so chilled my heart.  Let Him bear my pain and let Him warm my cold heart.  And if those people are still present in my life, then I am to show kindness and tenderness.  Look for ways to serve, to be kind, and to be tender hearted……..not hard hearted with a frozen heart but to be tender and loving.  It’s not easy, but God will enable and give grace to do what is the most difficult. 
 
Soon l will hear a dripping noise and realize that my once solid, icy heart is thawing out under the warmth of God’s love and His enabling.  He won’t force me to allow His light to shine in my inner being, but if I open that door and allow Him in, then the melting will begin.  Slowly but surely the damaging icicles will dissolve as I focus, not on the other person or on the pain that they have caused, but as I focus on the light of God’s forgiveness and love in my once cold heart.

 

 
Shine Your light in my heart, O God, and let the melting begin!

My Adornment

It was Christmas Eve morning, and I was preparing for a day full of cooking and family fun.  The day before, I had pulled off my plan for an “Aaron day” without a hitch.  I wanted him to have time doing what he loves before all the commotion of Christmas wreaked havoc with his routine and therefore with his behaviors.  Our son and his girlfriend, just in for the holiday, joined us at All Star Sports for some Aaron-style fun.  Afterwards, we ate at Old Chicago, a favorite of Aaron’s.  It was a great time!

But early the next morning I heard Aaron having a big seizure.  This was a bed wetting one.  So mixed in with my cooking and all the other Christmas prep, I found myself hauling loads of bedding to the laundry room.  My main emotion was sadness for Aaron that day as he had two more big seizures over the next several hours.  

Yet these moments also drive home to me the fact that caregiving is my life.  It’s a life I never envisioned for myself when I contemplated marriage and motherhood as a young starry-eyed woman.

Every mother lives a life of self-sacrifice in many ways but having a child with special needs of whatever kind increases that role in ways she never knew.  Any caregiving role is the same.

That is why I was so impacted by some verses I read one morning.  Paul was talking to Titus about practical ways that we as believers are to live out the gospel.  In chapter two of Titus, Paul gave instructions to older men and women as well as to the younger men.  

He ended that section by urging slaves to conduct their lives in a way that they would “…adorn the doctrine of God.”

In that culture, slaves were nothing.  They were the lowest of the low.  Yet Paul told Titus to encourage them to adorn the doctrine of God, the gospel.

This is a high calling for such a lowly people!

The word “adorn” carries the meaning of arranging jewels in a setting that displays their beauty.  

I love what John Stott said about these verses:  “…the gospel is a jewel, while a consistent Christian life is like the setting in which the gospel-jewel is displayed; it can add lustre to it.”  

Our human tendency is to equate importance with the “big things.”  Red carpets, book signings, conference speakers, a record contract.  

Not with wet bedding, doctor visits, behavior issues.  

Not with dementia, hospice, hospitals, infusions, cancer…

But the gospel shines brightest in the darkest places.  This is where God is especially honored and given great glory.

How?  By our faith being seen in our service to the ones we are caring for.  By yielding to God’s plan for our lives with trust and peace, even through tears or anger or resentment that inevitably comes at those vulnerable moments.  

It’s a matter of my heart, not my surroundings.  

“Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO YOUR WORK HEARTILY, AS FOR THE LORD RATHER THAN MEN.”   (Colossians 3:22-23)

Where do you find yourself today?  

Remember that the seemingly lowest place is the place of high calling in your life as a believer.  

Even if we feel like no one notices our service, God still urges us to shine with the beauty of the gospel.  God notices and that is all that really matters. 

 

Am I Ready?

It was November 7, 1984.  Gary and I lived in Colorado Springs.  I was one week into my 9th month of pregnancy with our first child.  Gary had just returned home from flying his Army Cobra helicopter.  I headed up our stairs when a pain hit me.  Gary saw me from our bedroom as he was changing out of his flight suit.

“Now?” he asked with surprise.  

I soon knew that, yes, the time was now.  We hurried to Fort Carson and just a few short hours later we welcomed Aaron into the world…into our world.  

I had been busy making all his nursery items.  The yellow and white gingham curtains, bumper pad, and changing table cover were waiting on Aaron.  But there were still things to do, like putting the crib together and finalizing all the other details of his cute yellow duck nursery.  We just weren’t all the way ready for Aaron to join us three weeks early!

In so many other ways over the 40 years of our life with Aaron, I have found myself still not ready.  Not ready for this journey of Epilepsy, Autism, and having our adult son still living with us.  Not ready for the hundreds of ways that our life is not at all what we thought it would be as we held our little 6 lb. 4 oz. squirming bundle in that old military hospital on Fort Carson.

In so many ways, Gary and I are set apart from our peers even at this stage of our lives.  We are not free to come and go as we might wish.  Aaron is entwined in every decision we make.  And when I meet someone new and we are getting acquainted, the usual response when I tell them that we still have our adult special needs son living with us is, “Oh.”  Most people don’t know what to do with that scenario and so they quickly move on to other topics. 

Aaron can be so funny.  He is just who he is, too, especially in public.  But even that can be a bit embarrassing to us as he does his Aaron things, oblivious to what others are thinking.  Like sitting in the grocery aisle to examine his latest food find.

Or sitting on the floor in every waiting room now so that he can work on his sticker book, even rearranging a chair or table if needed.

I have thought a lot about Mary especially now as we retell the Christmas story at this time of year.  When Gabriel told her that she would become pregnant and give birth to Jesus, God’s Son, she humbly said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.”  

She must have experienced so much embarrassment as her condition became known.  Did anyone other than Joseph really believe her story?  The gossip, the looks, the questions…how she must have been set apart from everyone in that small town.  

Mary gave birth far from home, surrounded by animals in a dirty stable.  Not even her mother was there to help her.  I doubt that the scene was like the ideal pictures we see on our Christmas cards. 

Then the move to Egypt to escape Herod and coming back to their hometown of Nazareth a few years later where everyone knew Mary’s story of her past.  

Was Mary ready to be the mother of Jesus?  Ready for the turmoil that surrounded Jesus? Ready for the fear as she watched Him being hated and persecuted?  Ready for the extreme heartbreak as she watched him tortured and put to death?  

I doubt that she was.  But she had already made the most impactful decision of her life when she yielded to God’s will for her life.  

That same yielding to God is what brings me the deepest peace as well, even in the fear of Aaron’s seizures.

Peace, eventually, during the frustrations of his behaviors.

I know, and so can you, that “…the God of peace…even Jesus our Lord, will equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever.  Amen.”   (Hebrews 13:20-21)

We don’t know what it is that will please God in our lives.  

But we can be ready if we know and follow Him, trusting our loving God as we, like Mary, say, “May it be to me according to Your word.”

The best gift we can give Jesus is our heart and our will.

May each of you have a very blessed Christmas season as we celebrate the birth of such a Savior!  

Big News and A Fun Fall

Time for another update!  First, the big news…news that some of you know and some don’t, so I get the joy of sharing it again.

Our daughter, Andrea, came over one day with a gift bag for us.  I was puzzled as I took out this framed picture.

Puzzlement turned to pure joy as we realized what it meant.  As Aaron says, “We’re going to have another baby!!”  We’re so happy and so thankful for God’s great blessing.  

Then several weeks later, another surprise.  We were given a pumpkin and inside…well, see for yourself.

Now Aaron tells everyone, “We’re having another baby.  My sister is having a GIRL!!  I’m scared to have a GIRL!!”  🙂 

We’ve been having a beautiful fall.  We got to introduce Ryker to the fun of jumping in leaves. 

Then Aaron wanted to lead us on a walk around our neighborhood pond.  It was really a precious time of Ryker happily following Aaron, and Aaron turning around to keep an eye on Ryker. 

 Ryker now says Aaron’s name fully and clearly.  He absolutely loves his fun Uncle Aaron.  And Aaron is responding with more interactions and smiles.  We do not take this for granted.  All of us are so very happy and thankful for the loving progress that has been made.  

Another very fun event was taking Ryker trick-or-treating in our neighborhood.  We didn’t know if he would wear his outfit, but he did, and he loved every minute of it.  Of course, this Gramoo was smiling from ear to ear at our adorable little cow!

But another precious part of the evening was that Aaron really wanted to go along.  He wore his Pharaoh costume from two years ago and was as eager as a young child.  

I wondered if anyone would question it when they saw a bearded, balding man at their door.  Thankfully, everyone was kind as could be and Aaron had so much fun. He and Ryker going trick-or-treating together was just another very sweet time.  

Aaron turned 40 this month!  He doesn’t see the significance of that at all.  It’s neat that age doesn’t mean a thing to him.  He doesn’t focus on the fact that he’s the oldest in our family and he doesn’t compare himself to his siblings in the sense of life events or accomplishments.  That’s a real blessing indeed.

I have mentioned thankfulness in this blog several times.  We truly are thankful for every blessing, for every step of progress with Aaron, and even for the steps backward that are an inevitable part of Aaron’s life.  

We are forever grateful for the love of family and for the joy of time together. Thankful, too, for friends like many of you who love and pray for us. 

 And for the certainty that God will guide us in each day and year ahead.

Hurry and Wait!

I’ve written before about how hard it is for Aaron to wait…for anything!  It doesn’t matter if he’s waiting to go to his day group in the mornings, or to Meals on Wheels on Thursdays, or to go shopping, or to watch a program with me, or to eat a favorite meal I’m fixing…waiting is not his strength.

As an example, one night Aaron didn’t want to go to sleep until I came up to bed so that we could do his nighttime routine.  

“Mom!” he said, “when are you coming to bed?”

“I don’t know,” I replied.  “I need to get done with some things, and it’s still early.”

“Well,” he responded, “when you’re done with doing things and it’s done being early, when will that be?”

Oh Aaron.  

He is not easily deterred.

This past Friday night, Aaron was in a tizzy as he was both excited and anxious that his friend Barb, along with her two daughters and a good friend, were coming to take him out for his birthday lunch.  

He wanted to know what time they were coming and then re-affirmed the time over and over.  He talked about where they would eat, what he would order, who was coming, what time should he get up in the morning, etc., etc., etc.

As I was drifting off to sleep, thinking that maybe, just maybe, I would soon hear his steady SLEEPING breaths on the baby monitor on my nightstand, instead it was:

“So first I’ll take my shower in the morning and then I’ll drink my coffee.  Then will I have time to watch a movie, Mom?”

“Mom?”

“Mom?”

 I sure do get plenty of deep breathing exercises.

The next morning, Aaron did take a shower, and he did drink his coffee, but he did NOT watch much of a movie.  Instead, he followed me around the house and then outside as I did some straightening on the porch and in the yard.

He finally got some of his energy out by rocking on the porch, but he is able to multitask, as in talking about waiting while he rocks.

“I just want Barb to come real quick,” he said.  “But she won’t be able to come real quick, right?”

“That’s right,” I replied.

“She just needs to take time, right?” he added.

“That’s right,” I numbly answered.

It was quite for a hopeful minute.

“Does she know how to get here?” he questioned.

I assured him that she did.

He dug in his pocket for his pocket watch.

“It’s 10:43,” he informed me.  “That means it won’t be long till she’s here, right?”

I wanted to tell him that it would be longer than I wanted it to be, but I didn’t.

More deep breathing exercises.

He finally went to sit under the maple tree and crunch mulch in his trash can.  This helps him relax and unwind.  

You have no idea how tempted I was to join him and see if it might do the same for me!

Ahhhh!  Blissful quiet!    

“Mom!  What’s the car of Barb look like?!”

Dear Aaron!

He was beside himself with excitement when the car of Barb pulled into our driveway.  

And he was every bit as excited when the car of Barb brought him home.  He bounded in the house with lots to tell of what they ate and of shopping and of all the goodies he had been given.

We love that these sweet friends gave Aaron a very happy day.

It truly was worth the wait, and not only for Aaron.  

No Water! No Deal!

Wednesday morning seemed just like any other morning until my husband stepped out onto our back patio and discovered water bubbling up into our back yard and between our bricks on the walkway.  Oh boy!

Gary was able to cut the water off at the meter and line up a plumbing company.  They came, did a lot of looking and some digging and some poking and some figuring.  Then we did some questioning and some signing and some down payment paying…only to be told that they couldn’t get to the job until the following Tuesday.  What?!  

That’s a LONG time without water!

So, we did some calling and some discussing and some cancelling and some finding of new plumbers.  

We also did some filling of large water containers that Gary wisely has had on hand for just such emergencies, turning on the water just long enough to get the job done.

The new plumbers came the next day and got right to work.  They worked late, digging and examining in a trench that starts in our back yard, wraps around the side of our house, and ends near the street in our front yard.

There were bumps along the way, like damaging a sewer line that thankfully was an easy repair but meant no flushing all day Friday.  TMI, I know, but I’m just being real.  And it was getting real bad!  

Location services had to come out more than once to correct mistakes they made in locating the cable and other lines.  That’s comforting, right?

The workers were so nice and a pleasure to have around.  They worked very late Friday night and were able to get our water back on!  You can guess the first thing I did.  Actually, it was the first three things I did…flush our three toilets!!  And clean like a mad woman!

The plumbers were coming back on Saturday to hopefully finish the job, but heavy rains during the night and all day Saturday put a stop to that.  Now the trench is full of water and the continuing rains leave us unsure of when the work will be completed.

But we have water!!  And more importantly, Kansas has gotten some MUCH needed rain.  We are not complaining!

As this all progressed, we were concerned about how Aaron would handle it.  Having no water is a huge deal, and huge deals are often a no-deal to Aaron.  He surprised us, though, with how well he did.  He was intrigued with the digging and getting to see the pipes under the ground.  The workers were so kind to him.  They got a kick out of his excitement.  The supervisor even saved the ruptured piece of pipe to show it to Aaron and explain what had happened.  

But by Friday morning Aaron was close to being done with all the no water business.  I knew we were near a boiling point with him when he told me that he was NOT letting me have any of his Halloween candy like he had promised the night before.  

And to finalize his decision, he added:  “I am NOT making a deal with you, MOM!!”

Imagine my surprise when later he walked in the room and laid this on the desk in front of me.  

He chuckled and rubbed his hands together.  

“We don’t need a deal,” he said.  

“You want me to have this?” I asked.

“Yes!” he answered.  “Eat it!” 

He understood when I told him I would wait…that candy first thing in the morning is too much for me.  

All this situation with having no water, though, has made me think about something that has been on my mind a lot since the horrible hurricane damage in the southeast.  I have thought and thought about the impact of such terrible personal destruction on those with special needs.  

How on earth are they surviving?

How are families handling the upheaval and its effects on their special family members whose whole world has been turned upside down, destroyed, and perhaps forever gone?

My friend in western North Carolina talked to me about her daughter who has autism, how she stepped up to the plate at the beginning and was so helpful at home and with neighbors.  But as time went on it was getting harder and harder to handle the constant pressure and stress of routines being completely disrupted and of doing things not normal for her.  Then come meltdowns and anger, which are terribly difficult for the family already dealing with more difficulties than imaginable.  

I have wondered what Aaron would be like in a situation like this, where everything he knows and expects and demands is gone.  I can’t even fathom it.  A couple days without water and he was approaching the done point.  Imagine everything being gone for weeks and weeks, forever even, and what that would do to him.

Imagine the untold number of families in these areas whose special children or other family members are enduring just that, a million times worse than our small inconvenience.  

So many special needs individuals with so many needs that are special to them.  Needs they can’t control but that must be met as much as possible.  

How they need our prayers!  

Let’s not forget them.  

The Form of Our Fears

I remember as a child how my mother would ask me to run down to the basement to get something for her.  Maybe it was food she needed out of the freezer or a jar of beans she had canned.  I dreaded those basement trips because of the fear that would often grip me.  There were too many hiding places down there and my imagination would go wild.  I especially disliked going back up the stairs as I imagined someone following me from behind or a hand reaching out and grabbing my ankle.  I ran up those stairs as fast as I could, breathing in huge relief as I entered the door to our kitchen where I found warmth and safety.  

The early nation of Israel faced a great fear as they fought their enemies in the land God had promised them.  The last group that is mentioned in Joshua 11 are the Anakim. These were the giants who had terrorized the spies 40 years earlier.  Ten of the twelve spies had said nope to the idea of entering the land, saying that those horrible giants made them look like grasshoppers.  

Now all those years later, here was Israel facing their giants again.  Joshua 11:21-22 succinctly states that in the last battle for the land, the Anakim were cut off and there were no Anakim left.  God gave Israel the final victory over this enemy that they greatly feared.  God would have won that battle forty years earlier, but Israel chose to live in fear and unbelief instead.

We all have those giants in our lives…things or situations that we fear.  The state of our nation and the world today can easily cause us to fear for our future.  But usually, our fears are much more personal.  Reality can barrel into our happy lives and knock us off our feet with no warning.  

As a follower of Christ, though, we have Him behind us.  We don’t need to run up the stairs in fear.  

I love what Dale Davis said in his commentary on the book of Joshua.

“God’s power is adequate to meet our most dreadful fears.  Our situation is both different from and similar to Israel’s.  The form of our fears is different; the adequacy of our God is the same.”

Scripture tells us that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  We serve the same God of endless power today that Israel knew way back in the day.  

Same God.  Same power.  Same love and plan for each of our lives.

God is more than able to defeat your giants, no matter how scary they are.  

I don’t want to keep running up the stairs in fear of what might attack me.  With God by my side, I can take each step calmly and in full faith that He is with me to fight for me.  

This old hymn expresses it well:

Leaning on the Everlasting Arms

What have I to dread,
What have I to fear,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
I have blessed peace
With my Lord so near,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.


Leaning, leaning,
Safe and secure from all alarms;
Leaning, leaning,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.