Patty hesaidwhatks

The Legacy

We just went on a very special trip to visit my mother. Actually, it was a surprise for her 85th birthday. And was she ever shocked when she walked into that banquet room at the steak house and saw all of her five children there, as well as many grandchildren and great-grands! The look on her face was priceless; the tears, hers and ours, were genuine; and the love shared was a treasure. I’m so thankful that all of her children were there for her and that we got to rally around her at this very important time. You see, it wasn’t only her birthday. She has also just moved into an assisted living center and so we were able to visit her beautiful new home, help her with a little of the settling-in process, and get a close-up look at her lovely surroundings and amazing staff.

One other thing…

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My Purpose

He Said What?!

I don’t remember how long ago it was, but I do remember that I was having a very normal day. Nothing exciting. Nothing terribly interesting. Certainly nothing spectacular. One of those days that if asked, I would have a hard time really saying what I had done during that day. Not that I hadn’t accomplished anything, but what’s to talk about when it comes to errands, cleaning, laundry, and ironing?

In fact, that’s what I was doing when my phone rang. Ironing. Ironing Gary’s work clothes for the next day. My dear friend, Atha, was on the other end of the phone. I have to admit that when she asked what I was up to, I was a little hesitant to tell her. You see, Atha is Dr. Athalene McNay. She was working on starting her own business. She was a college and university professor. She never, ever made me…

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Lessons From the Praying Mantis

He Said What?!

Gary and I had been out in the yard on Saturday. It was time to go in for lunch, so we called to Aaron and then headed for the house. My new mums on the front porch were vibrant with the colors of fall, and bees buzzed around lazily between the mums and my still-blooming Crepe Myrtles. It was such a beautiful day!

Just as we were ready to walk inside the garage, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. I stopped to take a closer look, not moving from where I was standing. I saw that the thing catching my attention was long and green and was perched atop my pretty Crepe Myrtle blooms, partially hidden by the growth around him. A grasshopper! An unwelcome intruder in my flower bed! I didn’t appreciate him chowing down on my Crepe Myrtle leaves, or any of my other…

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The Plans I Have For You

I think most of the nation has had a milder than usual winter. Here in Kansas, we really haven’t had a winter to speak of. Trees were budding, bushes were bearing leaves, and perennials were poking out of the ground in February!

I shouldn’t have been surprised…..but I was surprised……to walk past my front flower bed one day in February and look down to see that my Salvia had made an appearance. There were fresh little green leaves sticking up through the ground, unaware that the month was only February. Salvia don’t look at calendars. They only respond to the warmth of the sun and the mildness of the nights.

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Something occurs deep underground, in their roots, that awakens them and urges them to respond. It’s God’s miracle of growth, not tied to the month of the year but to the environment around them. And even though that environment can at times be harsh still at this time of year……at any time of year, really……their roots stir under the right conditions and so they grow.

I was tempted on that February day to lean over and clear off all the dead leaves that looked like a hindrance to the Salvia’s growth. But I left the leaves for insulation against the cold nights, and the snow that I knew could still come.

I’ve watched the progress of my Salvia over the past few weeks. The picture from this morning shows how much growth has occurred. The dead leaves, old mulch, and other clutter hasn’t prohibited my Salvia’s growth at all. The perennial nature of this flower is alive and well as those new leaves push through all the mess around them. It just faithfully grows and grows, quietly but strongly flourishing.

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This morning in my quiet time with the Lord I read some verses that are very familiar to many of us. They are words spoken by God to the nation of Israel, recorded by the prophet Jeremiah.

“For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

These are verses of such encouragement and hope for all believers, not just for the nation of Israel during the time of Jeremiah. But do you know where Israel was when God spoke these words to them? They were being held captive in Babylon. They were not in their home country, living freely, but were held as captive slaves in a harsh land far from all they knew and loved.

In the ten verses preceding these verses above, God had given some instructions to His chosen people through a letter written by Jeremiah and delivered to the exiles in Babylon. God told the people to settle in to their new life in Babylon. He told them to build houses and live in them; to plant gardens and eat their produce; to take wives and bear children; to increase and not decrease; and even to seek the welfare of their new city, praying to the Lord on its behalf.

You know how long God told them to be faithful in their captivity? Seventy years. SEVENTY years.

So when God then said that He knew the plans that He had for them……plans to give them a future and a hope……He also knew that this promise wasn’t coming to pass tomorrow. He laid it out there for them. He told them to live as He commanded and to be obedient to Him, even in their dire situation, for seventy long years.

God’s promise was given to them in the middle of less than ideal circumstances. It wasn’t to be fulfilled immediately. But while they waited, God wanted them to live their lives fully and faithfully to Him.

In fact, many of those Israelites would never see the promise come to pass. They would die in Babylon. Yet God still commanded them to be obedient and live the way He wanted.

How about us? How does God want us to live every day?

He wants us to follow the example that He continually sets out there in His Word for us to see. He wants us to be faithful to Him, to obey Him, and to grow no matter what is going on in our lives.

We may be going through awful times so full of grief and stress that we wonder how we can get out of bed every day. God knows. He understands. He loves us. He provides what we need. He promises us a future and a hope.

But relief may not come today. It may not come tomorrow. Or the next day, or the next. But like He told His people in Babylon, He says to you and to me today. “Call upon Me. Pray to Me, and I will listen. For you will seek Me and you will find Me when you search for me with all your heart.”

It’s simple, really, but so difficult to do sometimes when our surroundings are bitter and hard and scary. Call upon Him. Pray. Seek Him with all your heart.

Read His Word with an open heart to hear what He has to say to you. Ask Him to lead your steps. Obey what you know He tells you to do in His Word.

God will speak to you. He will lead you to Himself.

And in the middle of your pain and your stress, you will grow. Just like my Salvia in the middle of deadness all around it and the coldness of some nights…..still pushing through and growing, as God intended.

God loves you. He truly does have a future and a hope for you as you follow Him, but not always…..in fact, seldom……without the suffering and sadness of this life.

But what a beautiful work He is doing in you and in me as we faithfully respond to His love and to His word in our lives!

So grow! Grow where God has put you!

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The One More

Aaron came into the kitchen this morning, a little after 11:00, so I asked him if he wanted some left over pizza for lunch. He said yes right away, but then I saw his eyes dart to the clock on the oven.

“It’s not lunch time yet. It’s 11:06,” he flatly declared. “When it becomes 12:00, it’s lunch time.”

He turned and left the kitchen, happily despite being hungry, because hunger is easier for Aaron to handle than eating lunch at the ungodly hour of 11:06!! And no matter how many times this scenario is played out in our home, it never gets old or tiresome to me. I mean, some of Aaron’s rigidity or habits can at times wear me down, but his precise keeping of times in his life nearly always makes me want to laugh.

There are some things that Aaron is going to do because Aaron’s just going to do them, almost every single time that he is given the opportunity.

Will Aaron pull just one wipe out of the dispenser at the grocery store? Well, no! One wipe is so boring and useless!

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Will Aaron be happy having one fork with his sausage at breakfast? No, never! He even gets out a spoon when he’s eating pizza!!

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Does Aaron want to vary the route we take as we drive to Paradigm every weekday morning? Are you kidding?! He thinks his way is faster. But I did take a quicker route on Friday, to his great dismay. I asked him why he doesn’t like going my way and wants to go his way.

“Because this way is far away from the short one!” he answered. Which still left me puzzled, but I do love how he expresses himself.

A few evenings ago, he was concerned about running out of toilet paper in his bathroom. He kept talking about it, and I hadn’t gotten a new package out yet. We were getting his bed ready for the night and toilet paper was still on his mind. I told him to go check his bathroom cabinet for toilet paper. Soon he was back in his room, happily holding a single roll of toilet paper.

“There was one more left and this is the one more!” he declared, quiet relieved.

So the next evening I carried up the big package of toilet paper, which Aaron watched me open. He watched me put two rolls in the guest bathroom holder, and then wanted to carry four rolls to his bathroom. We settled on three rolls instead, and Aaron very seriously offered to take them upstairs himself……probably more to be sure the job was done correctly than anything else. I mean, toilet paper is important, right? It certainly was to Aaron at that time.

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I can count on Aaron making something random like that of utmost concern, and then not getting it off his mind until the situation is resolved in the way that’s needed……or in the way that gives him peace, thereby giving all of us peace!

Let’s see…..what else can I count on Aaron doing?

I can count on him every night, after we watch Wheel of Fortune, changing the channel to Fox News. He sits in his chair, eyes on the screen, watching and waiting for what he knows is coming.

And when he see Bill O’Reilly on the screen, he smiles, still waiting expectantly. Bill talks for a minute, introducing what’s coming on the program that night…..and Aaron stares, a slight smile on his face.

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And THEN, it happens! O’Reilly sweeps his arm around and points at the camera. “CAUTION!!” he says. “You’re entering the no spin zone!!”

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Aaron laughs and laughs, loving every second of it. Every night that O’Reilly is on, this is what Aaron does.

And I laugh, too, because seeing all of this through Aaron’s eyes is so much more fun than just seeing it as “same old, same old” every night.

We can count on Aaron talking to us until our ears are totally exhausted. This is especially true if we are a captive audience, with no place to run, like we were in our hotel room during our Thanksgiving trip. Oh my, did he talk!!

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And he will also tell everyone of his latest exciting happening, which also happened during Thanksgiving. Poor Aaron slipped in the hotel tub, cutting the bottom of his foot on the drain stopper. This was momentous to Aaron and he felt that everyone else would think it was momentous, too…..especially when he told them about it. But he doesn’t just tell. He likes Show AND Tell. And my very sweet sister, Mary Beth, was the recipient of not just the telling, but also the showing, as you can see.

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HaHa! I can still see her caring face and hear her wonderful laughter. I can also still hear my surprised gasp when I looked over and saw Aaron with his sock off……and blood on it that had seeped through the bandage…..and him sitting on the floor, not a care in the world but to show Aunt Mary Beth the whole gruesome wound.

At least it wasn’t like his VNS surgery years ago. The scar was on his upper chest, so several people had the unexpected treat of Aaron quickly pulling up his shirt in order to show them the evidence of his surgery. The whole thing was just a tad…..shocking…..but not to Aaron. Not at all to Aaron. It got to the point that every time Aaron started telling someone about his VNS and his hands headed toward the bottom of his shirt, I yelled, “NOOOO!!” I got some strange looks for that response, but those people have no idea what I had just spared them from. No idea at all, really.

But you know, it meant a lot to Aaron that Aunt Mary Beth enjoyed seeing the cut on the bottom of his foot, blood and all. He didn’t think it to be the least bit strange that he sat on the floor with people all around and pulled off his shoe and sock. And Mary Beth rolled right along with it, loving every minute and loving Aaron, most of all.

That’s what we have to do. Roll with Aaron, expect the expected, and brace ourselves for the unexpected.

Speaking of roll, remember the one roll of toilet paper? “There was one more left and this is the one more!” Aaron declared.

Aaron is our “one more.” He always has one more routine…..one more thing to tell…..one more surprise…….one more way to make us laugh or sigh or roll our eyes or want to scream.

And tomorrow is one more day for us to see what Aaron has in store. One more day for us to see the world through Aaron’s eyes, like it or not.

One more day to hopefully have the unexpected joy I had today when Aaron put his arms around me from behind, laid his head against my back, and said, “I love you, Mom.”

I’ll take one more of those moments any day!

I love you, too, Aaron!

Possess Your Possessions

Last summer we enjoyed a fabulous tomato crop in our little home vegetable garden. It was, by far, the best tomato growing season in the 17 years that we had lived and gardened in Kansas. We picked buckets and buckets of tomatoes, much to our great delight.

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We ate fresh tomatoes with our meals. We ate fresh tomatoes by themselves. We ate fresh tomatoes on sandwiches. We gave tomatoes away to neighbors and friends. I canned delicious salsa. I also canned 34 quarts of tomatoes. And Aaron gave tomatoes to his friends at his day group, which made him very happy.

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Now, I could have stood at the edge of our garden every day just enjoying the sight of those tomatoes on the vines. I could have talked about how many were growing there, told everyone about them, and taken some pictures to share. But what good would any of that have been?

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In order to really partake of my tomatoes, I needed to take possession of them. That meant, in this case, to go to the garden with my bucket in hand and then pick each tomato off the vine. It meant putting the tomatoes in my bucket, bringing them in my house, washing them, and then using them in whatever way I wanted at the time.

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I read an interesting verse one day. The verse is Obadiah 17 (only one chapter in Obadiah). This verse is referring to a future time, even future for Israel today, but a time when Israel would finally enjoy the fullness of God’s plan and blessings. What jumped out at me was this phrase: “And the house of Jacob will possess their own possessions.”

So how do you possess your own possessions? I mean, if they’re your possessions, don’t you already possess them?

Well, it’s kind of like my tomatoes in the garden. They were my tomatoes……my possessions……but I didn’t POSSESS my tomatoes until I really TOOK possession of them. There is a huge difference in looking at those tomatoes, and really taking possession of them in order to fully partake of and enjoy them.

God made a covenant with Israel, one in which he promised to be their God and that they would be His people. He promised them a land and many blessings. God’s covenant is unbreakable and will never change. But full enjoyment of all the benefits of that covenant, and of God’s full blessings, hinged on one word…..one sometimes very difficult word.

“Now then, if you will indeed obey my voice and keep my covenant, then you shall by My Own possession among all the peoples…..” (Exodus 19:5)

See the difficult word? It’s the word “obey.” God wasn’t referring to covenant status here. His covenant itself depended only on Him. But covenant enjoyment depended on obedience.

God said, “All these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you IF you obey the Lord your God.” (Deuteronomy 28:2)

Obedience equals blessing.

God repeatedly told Israel that obedience is better than sacrifice. He told them over and over that the land and the enemies therein were their possession. But they couldn’t fully possess their possessions until they obeyed God.

Obedience equaled full partaking of God’s promises and His blessings.

Possessing their promised possessions.

What about me?

As a follower of Christ, God has given me many great and precious promises (2 Peter 1:4). He promises peace, power, wisdom, strength, and so much more. These are my possessions in Christ, but not fully possessed by me until I walk in obedience.

Repentance of sin and walking in obedience are the keys to fully possessing all the wonderful possessions that I have as a believer. It’s really very simple, but also very difficult. Difficult because I so often want my own way. Simple because God is full of forgiveness when I repent.

So I can stand on the edge of the garden, so to speak, looking in at all the beautiful promises of God given to me in His Word. But only when I choose to read my Bible and learn of God’s will and His ways for me…….and then choose to obey……will I be fully in possession of all His promises for me. I’m not talking about salvation. I’m talking about living a full life the way God intended for me to live as His child.

I love the often unsung fourth verse of the old hymn, Trust and Obey:

But we never can prove the delights of His love,

until all on the altar we lay.

For the favor He shows;

For the joy He bestows;

Are for them who will trust and obey.

I don’t want to just look at God’s favor and God’s joy. I want to possess God’s favor and possess God’s joy……to partake of those promises, fully.

Possess my possessions!

The Introduction

Sharing stories about Aaron is a good way to have insight into how Asperger’s Syndrome affects not only him, but all those who live and work with Aaron. A key to surviving life with Aaron is to understand what makes him tick. Then you can better function yourself, and not live in constant frustration or bewilderment. Training and directing him is also accomplished with better results when you can get inside his head and realize just how and when to redirect, or when to wait it out.

But then there are those times when you have no idea what is going on inside that head of Aaron’s until it’s out there for all the world to see and hear.

That scenario happens often with Aaron and us.

We moved to Wichita (Goddard), Kansas in 1999 when Gary retired from the military and accepted a job here. A couple years later we enrolled Aaron in a school here that offers training to high functioning special needs students. This training prepares them, hopefully, for the job market upon graduation. There were many great aspects of this school and its program, but it never was a good fit for Aaron.

I’ll never forget the open house and parent night during Aaron’s first year. The students were to accompany their parents into each of their classrooms and introduce us to their teachers. The students were treated as adults and so were to address each teacher by their first name. The evening was going very well and Aaron was doing a great job. It was nice to meet each teacher and to see his new environment that he was to be a part of now.

The evening was winding down and we had one more teacher to meet. As we stood in the hallway, waiting for the family ahead of us to come out of the room, Aaron was beside himself with excitement. When he’s excited he bends over and rubs his hands together, over and over. He hadn’t acted this way with any of the other teachers and so we were perplexed at this behavior. We tried to get him to calm down but to no avail.

Finally, the room was empty and we walked inside. There stood his teacher, with a very pronounced spiked haircut. Remember how Aaron is attracted to the unusual? Well, Aaron thought that her hair was just that……very unusual. Of course, Aaron had not shared anything with us about her hair. If he had, then perhaps we could have averted what happened next.

Aaron quickly walked over to her, rubbing his hands together, and said, “Mom and Dad, this is Cindy (name changed). She looks like a hedgehog, doesn’t she?!”

Oh. My. Goodness. Time stood still. We were horrified. Aaron was delighted. Cindy was unhappy.

I’m surprised that I’m still living, as many times as Aaron has caused my heart to nearly stop.

Her reaction told us that things would not be easy for Aaron in this school. I’ll just say that it was a very long two years.

But Aaron did LOVE that haircut!

For the whole two years.

Trust me.

The Picture We Leave

Today I have found myself, several times, with tears in my eyes. We all have days where emotions are close to the surface, don’t we? Maybe it was the very, very touching video I watched today of how some boys reached out to their neighbor who was their age and in a wheelchair. If Aaron hadn’t been with me, I would have cried much more after watching that clip than I allowed myself to cry.

Maybe I was teary today because of stories I’ve seen of others who are bearing sorrows and pains of this life. Some hit close to home when the stories are from ones I know and love.

Maybe I was feeling vulnerable today because Aaron had a small but hard seizure very early Sunday morning. He was fine all day yesterday, but threw up last night. A bug? Or the amount of pizza he ate for lunch? He stayed home today, not feeling too great yet, and had another seizure this afternoon…..a hard, three minute seizure. My already raw emotions were knocked around even more during that seizure, which isn’t usual for me.

I know, though, that the real reason for my unsteady emotions goes back to a picture in my mind…..a snap shot of Aaron on Friday afternoon, in Subway. Aaron wanted a sub for his special Friday supper. I always hope that there won’t be anyone in front of us because subs take a while to fix…..and Aaron is usually talkative, loudly, with me never knowing what he will decide to discuss there for everyone to hear.

As we pulled in and parked, though, I saw that there were several cars in the parking lot. A young family was walking in just before us. Dad and Mom were each holding a young daughter. There were others in front of them. I asked Aaron if he was sure he didn’t want a pizza instead, but of course Aaron’s heart was set on a sub.

As we stood behind the young family, the little girl that was being held by the dad caught Aaron’s attention. I looked over and saw that Aaron was looking at her, and then leaned around him a little to see that he was holding his hand up. He was showing her his favorite thing……the peace sign. She wasn’t sure what to make of that, or make of Aaron. She may have been three or four years old, and so I’m sure that Aaron’s peace sign meant nothing to her.

It really was funny……Aaron standing there holding the peace sign steady, with a very serious look on his face. No smile for the little girl……no emotion……no explanation. Just somber Aaron doing all he knew to do…..spread some peace, thankfully.

The little girl thought that maybe Aaron wanted to play peek-a-boo, but Aaron didn’t cooperate. He was just a statue, with a peace sign displayed. So I played peek-a-boo with her as she tried to hide behind her dad’s shoulder. Aaron was still in peace mode.

But then, while I was immersed in this cute little girl’s smiles, Aaron quickly unzipped his wallet. Before I knew what he was doing, he was holding his open palm out for the dad to see. And in Aaron’s open palm was the rest of his money left over from his day at Paradigm. Three cents. Aaron was trying to give this young dad his money…….all three cents……but a fortune to Aaron.

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Aaron loves to give things to people. He really loves giving money away to others. So he had decided to give this dad his money to help him pay for their dinner. I knew all this in the split second it took me to see what Aaron was doing……and to also see that this young dad was completely uncomfortable with what was happening.

The dad was looking down into Aaron’s palm but he didn’t say a word. I thought for sure that he would thank Aaron for the offer but then tell him to keep his money. I thought he would look at Aaron and smile and be kind to special Aaron. But no, he just looked at Aaron’s three cents and kept looking down, not making eye contact and not saying a single word.

It was so awkward and so sad……and honestly, pretty hurtful to me. I doubt that this young man had any idea that it was hurtful. He was just clueless about what to do. I find that amazing, though. A kind word, a look in Aaron’s eyes, a thank you, should not have been that hard to do. Right after that, this dad moved away from Aaron and then eventually went with his little girls to sit in a booth while his wife ordered. I don’t know if it was because of Aaron or not. But he sure did miss a great opportunity to show Aaron some kindness, like Aaron was showing to him.

But it’s made me also think of another quite opposite experience that we had when we were home in West Virginia for Thanksgiving. We had recently gotten Aaron a Nintendo 3DS game for his birthday. We let him play it at our family gathering, which wasn’t the best idea because it was all he wanted to do.

Anyway, when the time together was wrapping up, the sweetest thing happened. Young Moira……granddaughter of my cousin Jim and his wife, Patti……daughter of Kat and Farman……walked over to Aaron. She said hi to him and then she asked him about the game he was playing. She asked what it was called and wondered if it was fun.

I held my breath for a second, hoping that Aaron would be nice in return. And he was! He was really happy that someone had asked about his game. He told her what it was and then he actually asked her if she wanted to see it.

Moira said yes, and Aaron very proudly opened his game and let her play it for a few minutes. It was so sweet! I was glad I captured some pictures.

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Moira is being raised well. She wanted to engage Aaron, you could tell. She thought that asking about his game would be a good way to do that…..and it certainly was!

But more importantly, Moira showed that she has a heart for others……especially others on the outside. What maturity, way beyond her years! That simple interchange meant more to me, and to Aaron, than Moira knows. Or maybe she does know. Ones with that kind of heart often do.

All of us can take a minute to follow Moira’s example…..to look every day for ways to love and bless someone around us. And even if it pulls us out of our comfort zone, like the young dad in Subway, a simple smile and a kind word is all anyone needs to see and hear.

So thank you, Moira. I haven’t forgotten your sweet heart that you showed to Aaron. And on a day like today, when my heart is tender, I can choose to see your picture that makes me happy instead of the other one that causes me some hurt.

Remember, we are all leaving a picture in the minds of others that we meet. Let’s make it a good one.

How Aaron Rolls

Aaron and I had a day together on Thursday. It was a day full of things that he loves…..pizza, buying a DVD, going to see a movie, watching Wheel of Fortune, and a back tickling session before bed. Oh, and a doctor visit first thing…..which is the most important thing, but only to me. That is definitely not the most important thing to Aaron.

We were having Aaron’s first visit with his new Epileptologist. That’s a mouthful! At least his name is easy…..Dr. Lee. I never know if a new doctor is one that we will like and trust. I also never know if a new doctor will like and understand Aaron, which is nearly as crucial in Aaron’s treatment – in my opinion – as his knowledge of medicine.

Aaron was his usual impatient self in the waiting room. Aaron doesn’t tolerate waiting very well. We should change the name of the room to the sighing room…..or the grumbling room…..or the impatient room. And don’t think that Aaron doesn’t notice who came after us but is called before us! Observant Aaron indeed notices, and indeed doesn’t care for my reasonable explanations. This is one reason I carry a supply of mints in my purse. They help a tiny bit to ease the pain of waiting, for Aaron and for me.

A nurse called us in, a new nurse to us. We missed you, Jen, if you read this! Aaron sighed as he passed her, and he sighed as he stood on the scales……after removing his shoes, of course!

“I’m tired,” he grumbled. He wasn’t even particularly excited to see that he had lost some weight. Why is weight loss wasted on the unappreciative, I wonder?

Aaron got up on the table and promptly lay down, but I promptly told him he had to sit up for his blood pressure check. Watching him sit up was quite a sight for new nurse, with Aaron nearly rolling off the table……new nurse trying to help him sit……and him finally sitting upright after a few kicks of his legs. Wow!

New nurse and I were filling in the blanks about Aaron’s meds and doses, and of course Aaron plopped back down on the exam table. Now I was sighing.

New nurse left and soon in walked a young medical student. He had questions of his own, some of which he asked me and some of which were unspoken but were written all over his face as his eyes darted off and on to Aaron. He was kind, but young and inexperienced, I imagine, in the ways of special ones like Aaron. It’s so interesting to me, and actually amusing, to see the looks on the faces of those who are trying to decipher Aaron.

By this time, Aaron was totally comfortable on the exam table. This is how Aaron rolls.

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Medical student left, and soon Dr. Lee knocked softly and entered the room. Medical student was with him. Dr. Lee was instantly comfortable with Aaron, shaking Aaron’s hand as Aaron rested on the table and then shaking mine. I knew right away, as we first spoke, that I liked him. He was thorough, knowledgeable, in charge but in a soft way, and very good with Aaron. He even did Aaron’s exam while Aaron remained in his prone position. He went over lots of Aaron’s past history, and had a plan for future treatment as we talked. But nothing new will happen until Aaron has a video EEG in June, which will require a hospital stay of several days while Aaron hopefully has some seizures after meds are removed. Stressful, but a necessary and needed way to see what’s going on in Aaron’s brain now as compared to his last video EEG years ago.

Aaron was happy to finally struggle up and off the exam table, get on the elevator, in the van, and go to Sam’s for a quick pizza lunch. Home to let the dog out, a run into CD Tradepost for his DVD, and finally we were at the theater. We were finally going to see Rogue One!

I paid for our tickets, with Aaron standing close and observing everything carefully. As I signed the receipt, I noticed that the girl behind the counter was having a bit of a struggle with our tickets. She was holding one ticket, but seemed to be tugging on something under the counter where our other ticket should have been printed. Soon she was on her knees, working on the ticket machine, I guessed.

“Sorry,” she said as her eyes peeked over the counter. “My machine isn’t working. It’s actually totally stopped.”

It did not escape Aaron’s attention that Mom was holding only one ticket. His mind was calculating the fact that we needed TWO tickets.

“You mean we can’t go to the MOVIE??!!” he asked in a panic.

The girl assured him that we could go. She was in the middle of calling the ticket taker on her walkie talkie to explain things.

“We can’t go to the MOVIE?!!” Aaron asked again. And I scooped up my receipt and my ticket……ONE ticket……as I thanked the girl and turned to leave, taking Aaron’s arm as I wondered why this had to happen to us, of all people. To Aaron, who must have everything just right……and a jammed, turned off ticket machine is anything but just right!

We walked toward the second most anticipated feature…..POPCORN!! All the while, I was explaining to Aaron that all was well…..that we could go to the movie…..that the ticket taker knew we had both paid.

“But you only have ONE ticket!” Aaron argued.

I explained again as we stood in line. It was a fairly long line for a school day, I thought. And so did Aaron, who proceeded to sigh again.

“So we can both go to the movie?” he queried as we waited our turn.

I told him yes, very thankful that a second line opened.

“CAN I HAVE A LARGE POPCORN??” Aaron bellowed as we stepped up to the counter. There was that look on the young man’s face, so I smiled and put him at ease. Aaron was not going to jump over the counter, I wanted to tell him.

“So we can go to the movie?” I heard Aaron ask again as I juggled our popcorn order, cups of water, Aaron getting straws, and Aaron getting a HUGE wad of napkins. HUGE!!! Why does he always do that?!! How many other people saw that?!

But that’s how Aaron rolls. It’s like napkins are a security to him.

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He was super happy that we both made it through the ticket taker matter, and that our theater was only a short walk away. I was super happy to see only two other people in the theater. And VERY SUPER happy that we got the seats on the very back row, with the wall behind us. Aaron could stretch, and make minor noises without disturbing anybody. He couldn’t kick seats in front of him, or pull on them if he got up or got excited.

We sat down. I exhaled, leaned back, and totally relaxed. Only three more people came in, for a grand total of seven movie goers on this day. Another reason to relax.

But Aaron was not sitting back. He was not totally relaxed. He had placed his popcorn on the floor, not to be picked up and eaten until the movie actually started. Not when the lights dimmed. Not when the movie instructions about talking, cell phones, etc., started. Not when the movie trailers began. Only when the Rogue One movie was actually and for real on the big screen would Aaron pick up his popcorn and start eating.

In the meantime…..

As soon as we sat down………popcorn placed on the floor………napkins squished in one cup holder……..water in the other cup holder…..Aaron pushed up his shirt sleeve in order to see his watch, which is always pushed halfway to his elbow.

“It’s 2:02,” he said.

“OK,” I answered in my relaxed mood.

“When it’s 2:02,” he asked, “does that mean it will start soon?”

I knew we were in the countdown.

“It won’t be long,” I assured him. “It starts at 2:15. So how many minutes is that?” I asked him.

“Thirteen minutes,” he flatly answered.

We sat there in blessed quietness, me continuing to relax.

Aaron pushed his shirt sleeve up again.

“It’s 2:04,” he informed me.

I just shook my relaxed head.

And munched popcorn…….because I have no strict rules about the proper popcorn eating time.

Soon, the sleeve pushing happened again.

“It’s 2:10,” I heard in my relaxed state.

I guess it was 2:15 when the lights dimmed and the announcements started and the trailers played and all the other stuff happened on the screen.

The movie started, FINALLY, and Aaron promptly reached down for his popcorn. It was only then that he leaned back, partially, and ate to his heart’s content.

I only had to hush Aaron a few times, and try to answer questions a lot of times, and wonder why Aaron was so obsessed over whether Luke was in this movie!!

“Where’s Luke?”

“Is that Luke?”

“Maybe he’s Luke?”

“Will we see Luke later?”

I am THE most uneducated person to ask about Star Wars, but Aaron will ask anyway.

But it’s OK. We were on the back row, all relaxed…..with popcorn…..and a wad of napkins……and water to slurp with his straw……which is how Aaron rolls.

Actually, I’ve learned to roll with Aaron in most situations, relaxed or not. That’s because Aaron is going to roll the way Aaron rolls, and usually there isn’t a lot I can do about it.

May as well roll with it, and smile, and enjoy the ride with Aaron……Aaron’s way.

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Depressed? Feeling Sad?

Aaron had a blast on this day as he answered questions at his doctor visit. I still wonder what went into his chart!

He Said What?!

Yesterday I drove Aaron to McConnell Air Force Base for a doctor visit. He loves this time together. We listen to music and there is much for Aaron to see and to talk about with mom…….who can’t go anywhere else but in the driver’s seat right beside him as he talks and talks and talks. He talked about road construction and house remodeling that we passed; he talked about trucks that we passed; he talked about the purpose of U-Hauls; he talked about RVs and what they are and what they’re for and what they look like inside and do they have a bathroom and can we get one to take on our next trip back east; he talked about storage buildings and what people do with them and he remembered our storage building in Arizona; he talked about the guards at the gate going on to the air base…

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	Patty hesaidwhatks on Aaron’s Talking Points
	Patty hesaidwhatks on Aaron’s Talking Points