I'm Patty, and my husband and I are living with our adult son who has autism and epilepsy. I love sharing lessons learned from life around me, especially life with Aaron.
Several years ago, I turned onto a road near our house, and this was the scene that met my eyes.
I couldn’t see very far ahead. And even though I knew the road, I didn’t know what might be on the road out of my sight. The fog hid what was there, beyond my vision, but I knew I needed to go forward.
If you know Jesus as your Savior and are following Him, you know that there are certain times that He puts you on a road that is shrouded in the unknown. I see it around me all the time, either with family and friends, or those that I don’t personally know. And I have experienced it in my own life.
I will never forget the day that Aaron had his sudden first big seizure. We were living in Germany where Gary was stationed in the military. Aaron’s seizure was completely unexpected and terrifying. I remember the cold fear that squeezed my heart. Then came the ambulance ride, the days in the German children’s hospital, the language barrier, the exhaustion, and the shocking diagnosis of Epilepsy.
But I also remember our first night back home, when I could finally sit at my desk and cry the tears I had held back all week. And there it was…God’s amazing peace filled my hurting heart. He reminded me that He had not gone anywhere…that He was with me and with Aaron…and that He was the same God whose character I had known for many years. He had not changed one bit. He had a reason for this unexpected bend in the road…this fog that I could not see through still held Him there with me.
I could freeze in fear or be angry with God or be bitter about why He allowed such a thing to happen to our little Aaron.
Or I could step out in faith and trust in my heavenly Father.
I love what F. B. Meyer said: “There is nothing, indeed, which God will not do for a man who dares to step out upon what seems to be the mist; though as he puts down his foot he finds a rock beneath him.”
Moses knew this about God when he spoke to the assembly of Israel:
“For I proclaim the name of the Lord; ascribe greatness to our God!
The ROCK! His work is perfect, for all His ways are just.
A God of faithfulness and without injustice, righteous and upright is He.
(Deuteronomy 32:3-4)
Whatever you are going through today, know that if you are following God, He will be your firm rock in the mists of fear and uncertainty.
You will find a rock beneath your feet and that rock is God Himself.
And some day you will see that same road clearly, in all its purposes, as the best plan that God could ever have for you.
It sure has been stormy over a large part of the country this spring. We have had our share of strong storms here in Kansas as well. After several years of drought, the comment I hear over and over after another storm…and have many times said myself…is, “But we need the rain!”
Storms certainly can be beneficial, and beautiful, too.
But they can be hard as well, and scary.
I woke up this morning to another storm passing through. But I also had the thought of life’s storms on my mind. That’s because Aaron had five hard seizures during the night. I finally had to give him a rescue med. These times with Aaron leave me in an emotional frame of mind, vulnerable in my spirit. It’s important that I corral my thoughts and there is no better way to do that than to spend time with the Lord.
I opened my old devotional book, Streams in the Desert, to today’s date. The scripture today was from Mark 4. It’s the story of Jesus getting in the boat with His disciples on the Sea of Galilee. The first sentence on the page was this:
“Even when we go forth at Christ’s command, we need not expect to escape storms…”
The storm outside my window matched the storm in my heart, and so God had a special storm story for me. I love His love for me! I love how He gives to me exactly what I need, exactly when I need it.
Jesus knew that His disciples would encounter a strong storm out on the lake. After all, He created the storm! The disciples, terrified, cried out to Jesus as the storm tossed the boat. Jesus, asleep, was awakened by their frantic voices asking Him if He didn’t even care that they were perishing.
Jesus calmed the storm and then gently rebuked them.
“Why are you afraid?” he asked them. “Do you still have no faith?”
Jesus put His followers in a place of testing. In their storm, He showed His power and in so doing, He used it to increase their faith.
I have learned, especially in our life with Aaron, that God has put me in a boat and said, “Let’s go over to the other side.”
But getting there involves hard times. I don’t like the storms, but how they increase my faith and my love for Him!
Just like realizing how much we need the rain that our storms have brought, so I realize that the sufferings of my life bring me what God knows I need.
And this lesson is huge: God hasn’t commanded me to understand. He HAS commanded me to trust.
If I had all the answers as to the why’s of suffering, I would have no need to trust. In learning to trust, my walk with God is sweeter and deeper than I would ever have known otherwise.
“We never know how much real faith we have until it is put to the test in some fierce storm; and that is the reason why the Savior is on board.” (Streams in the Desert)
God in His kindness ended this day with a gorgeous sky, a perfect picture of the beauty of knowing and trusting Him.
We have been in a period of stormy weather here in the central Plains. Many of you know that I love taking sky pictures. There is hardly any better time to take some amazing shots of God’s work in the skies than during the build-up or the after-effects of a good old Kansas storm.
The clouds build:
Then darken:
And after the drama of the storm, there were these stunning clouds.
As I looked at these skies recently, I was reminded of the undeniable power of God in the creation of such beauty.
I remembered reading Job 26, how Job talked about God’s unmatchable power that we see, or sometimes can’t see, in our world around us.
Read some of Job’s description:
“He stretches out the north over empty space and hangs the earth on nothing. He wraps up the waters in His clouds, and the cloud does not burst under them. He obscures the face of the full moon and spreads His cloud over it. He has inscribed a circle on the surface of the waters at the boundary of light and darkness. The pillars of heaven tremble and are amazed at His rebuke. He quieted the sea with His power…by His breath the heavens are cleared…” (Job 26:7-13)
Just stop and think of the astounding power of God that we see in the heavens and on this earth. His design in creation and His ability to hold everything together, causing the world to operate as it should, is beyond comprehension.
Listening to the deep thunder this past weekend during our storms made me feel very small. Our windows even seemed to shake at the power of that rumble. It reminded me of God’s strength. So did our gorgeous clouds, so beautifully designed by God.
But listen to what else Job said in the last verse of that chapter.
“Behold, these are the fringes of His ways…”
All these mighty acts of God that Job describes are then said to be the fringes of His ways.
Fringes…the outer edges, the outskirts.
Stop and think about that. We see only a small part of God’s ways, of His power, and of His plan. Yet that small part is so vast and complex! Imagine what He is doing that we know nothing of!
Job continues:
“And how faint a word we hear of Him! But His mighty thunder, who can understand?”
We only hear a small whisper of God’s ways in the thunder of His power!
Oh dear friend, if all that we see and hear of God are only the fringes of His ways, then imagine what He is doing in our lives that we cannot know or see.
He is behind the scenes of those who know Him, working out His perfect will in our lives. Sometimes we don’t feel that He is doing anything at all, or that our circumstances are too hard and so we doubt Him.
Nothing can separate us from the love of God, and nothing can deter Him from working out His best plan for His children. Amid our suffering…our questions…our fears…our pain…our tears – God is doing so much more than we know.
Someday we will move from the fringes of His ways to seeing His final plan, and we will understand that all along this life, our great God was weaving a beautiful masterpiece full of His mighty grace.
This past Christmas, with all the craziness going on in our family surrounding our daughter and son-in-law’s move to our town, we had to delay our family Christmas until the middle of January. When we told Aaron that we would be having Christmas in January, he replied in his matter-of-fact way.
“But we open presents on December 25th,” he stated.
“Well, yes, we usually do but this year no one will be here on that day,” I replied.
We had this conversation several times over the next few days. Finally, we came to a compromise. Aaron would open two presents on Christmas day and save the rest for our family celebration in January.
Christmas morning (the REAL Christmas morning) came. Aaron was very excited about opening his two gifts. Gary and I were relishing our slow, relaxed morning. However, Aaron was not on the same page as we were.
Finally, his patience was wearing thin. He told me to get ready so he could open his two Christmas presents. I told him to wait and not rush me.
“Mom!!” he said, “why do you want me to wait slow?!”
I’ve thought about his description of waiting slow. I think we all have situations in life that seem like they’re dragging on forever. Times that we seem stuck with no answers…no way out.
We wonder why God is silent…or at least He seems to be.
“God, I’ve prayed and prayed about this. Why do You want me to wait slow for Your answer?”
But sometimes the waiting slow IS God’s answer. For in the place of waiting, God has so much to teach us.
The Apostle Paul knew this truth. In his second letter to the Corinthian church, he told the believers there that he had been so burdened and afflicted that he despaired for his life. He was beyond any remaining strength. He felt the sentence of death within himself.
Why?
Why would God allow such a faithful servant of Paul to endure this prolonged suffering? Well, Paul tells us why.
“…so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God Who raises the dead…He on Whom we have set our hope.” (II Corinthians 1:9-10)
When God puts His children in life’s waiting rooms, He has a good purpose in mind for us.
It is in the waiting that we see our need for God.
It is in the waiting that we learn a deeper trust.
It is in the waiting that we learn to praise God despite our suffering.
And it is in the waiting that we learn where to place our hope.
I talked not long ago to a husband who is caring for his wife with Alzheimer’s. They are far too young to be enduring this sadness. Yet his attitude was one of surrender to God’s plan instead of what his plan had been for their retirement years. He sees his care for her as the ministry that God has for him at this time in his life. He has learned where to place his hope.
There is a dear family here whose husband/dad has been on the heart transplant list but since he has had some strokes, he is no longer eligible for transplant. It was a gut punch. But God did open the door for him to be transferred to the #1 rehab hospital in the country. After being rejected by so many other rehab hospitals, God opened this one at just the right time. His wife said, “I am thankful for the prayers that God chooses to answer differently from what I expect. It’s just learning to continue to have the faith that He knows what He is doing.” In waiting slow, she has learned a deeper trust.
The point is, when we are waiting slow it’s so important not to place our hope in whatever answer we want from God, but instead to place our hope in God Himself.
He will do what is best, in His time. We can trust Him to do that!
“Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:14)
The other morning as I had my quiet time, I read this verse:
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This picture on which I put this verse is one of hundreds that I have taken from the window in the room where I sit at my desk on most mornings and spend time with God. That is where I was sitting when I read those words.
The window in that room looks out on our back yard. There, front and center, is this very large oak tree. So many of the sky pictures or weather pictures that I have taken over the years just naturally include that big oak tree.
When we first moved here 25 years ago, that tree was small. But now look at it!
As I read those words that Paul had written to the Corinthian believers centuries ago, and I looked out my window, I thought of how our oak tree is a beautiful example of standing firm in our faith no matter what is going on around us.
The cold days of winter:
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The growth, but also the storms, of spring:
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The beauty of a summer sunset:
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The golden days of autumn:
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The fog that may hide our view of what’s around us:
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The scary storms that come:
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Each of us can relate to one of these scenarios. Life is so full of beauty but also can wallop us with fear and heartache.
My prayer is that I…that all of us who follow Christ…will stand firm in our faith even when the scenes that surround us are changing.
The only way to do that is to stay in God’s Word, ask for His wisdom and direction, and follow Him faithfully.
Don’t let the winds that are blowing all around us, especially in these days, weaken and uproot us. Stay rooted and grounded in God’s truth!
So may it be said of each of us who are Christ followers, “FOR IN YOUR FAITH YOU ARE STANDING FIRM!”
My husband, Gary, was a helicopter and fixed-wing pilot in the Army for the first nearly 20 years of our marriage. We were stationed in Colorado when he got orders to serve in Germany. It’s all a bit of a blur, those months of separation as he attended a school before we went to Germany.
Finally, it was time for the movers to come. They loaded up our belongings for transport to Germany. Well, not all our belongings. Most of our furniture and all our appliances were put into storage, waiting on our return to the states later…six years later, though we didn’t know at the time it would be that long.
Several more months went by before Gary was assigned temporary quarters. Off I went with two babies to join him in Germany. Our temp quarters were on the fourth floor of an old WW2 building. The laundry room was down in the basement. Our apartment was full of military furniture that had been used by who knows how many families before us.
Eventually we moved into our permanent quarters. We had a nice apartment on the top floor of our building, complete with a balcony. We called this “stairwell living.” We had some of our furniture but most of what we had was sturdy, used military grade furnishings. Nothing fancy, for sure, but usable.
All of us wives were in the same boat. When we would get together, we often found ourselves talking about the furniture we had back in the states. One missed her living room set, another her big hutch and her nice dishes, or the beautiful bedroom suit one had bought shortly before getting their orders for Germany.
We would laugh and carry on, but all of us did miss what we used to have.
There are times we all miss what used to be.
The parents who are no longer here on earth. Or who are here but not here, and we care for them as though they were our children.
The spouse gone way too soon.
The child that we never dreamed we would lose.
The empty house when all the children are gone.
The healthy body we or our loved one had but is now ravaged by illness or slowed by age.
The friendships damaged beyond repair.
The ministries that once were but are now gone.
We all have our lists, don’t we? The memories flood in sometimes, and we can say with David in Psalm 42:3-4:
“My tears have been my food day and night…these things I remember and I pour out my soul within me.”
Memories of what was but is no more.
“Sometimes we can remember a ‘before,’ which is no longer present in the ‘now,’ doesn’t seem recoverable, and it saddens and distresses us.” (Dale Davis)
But David doesn’t end it there.
“O my God, my soul is in despair within me; THEREFORE I remember You from the land of the Jordan and the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.” (v. 6)
No matter his location or how far he was from the familiar paths of his life, David remembered WHO he needed to remember in the middle of his despair.
He remembered God.
God my rock, David said.
God my hope.
God my help.
God is present with me today, in my now, just as He was in my past.
All of you who follow Christ can say the same thing. Yes, memories can be a blessing, but they can also bring pain and depression.
O God, help us to not only remember what was, but to remember Who IS!
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father There is no shadow of turning with Thee. Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not. As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.
Great is Thy faithfulness, Great is Thy faithfulness. Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.
Summer and winter and springtime and harvest Sun, moon and stars in their courses above. Join with all nature in manifold witness To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.
Great is Thy faithfulness. Great is Thy faithfulness. Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide. Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow. Blessings all mine with 10,000 beside.
As I shared in my first blog, our daughter and son-in-law’s offer on a house in Wichita was accepted. Now it was time for them to hit the ground running as they hurried to put their house near Houston on the market.
They had already been working on projects to get their house ready to be listed but there was still much to do. My husband, Gary, drove down with all our boxes we had used during our main level remodel as well as tools that he could use to help with some projects.
There was quite a flurry of activity during those several days. Every inch of the house, inside and out, was being cleaned and uncluttered and repaired. The business end of putting the house on the market was being decided. Finally, before Gary left to come home, pictures were taken of the house…the for-sale sign was in the front yard…and soon their beautiful home was officially listed.
We fully expected the same scenario as we had seen with Roger and Deane’s home…lots of showings and then several offers right away. Maybe even a bidding war!
But no.
Crickets.
No showing notifications. For three days!
Come on people! We’re in a hurry to sell this house!
And we began to learn that the Houston housing market is not at all like the Wichita market.
During all this, when panic was at the door, I was reminded that God inhabits our praise. It was all too easy during our worrying to forget to praise God for His goodness and for His plan, yet to be fully seen. He gave me this truth at that time.
Finally, after three days of waiting, a showing was scheduled on the fourth day! Surely this would be IT!
Kyle and Andrea got the house spic and span…Andrea baked cookies and had water for the potential buyers…corralled their three dogs in one car…put baby Ryker in the other…and made it out the door and drove away in time.
Whew!!
But the potential buyers didn’t show up.
Hopes dashed.
So began a very stressful period for Kyle and Andrea. They had one couple who were finally interested in their house, but their offer was unreasonable…and so was the fact that they would randomly show up at their door!
Kyle was preparing to leave for his maritime job. He would be offshore, on a boat out in the Gulf…for a month! We had prayed for the house to sell before he left, but God had other plans.
I flew down to help Andrea for two weeks. I had no ulterior motives at all. Nothing whatsoever about this little precious boy drew me to Texas! Ha!
Before I left, Deane told me that she and Roger were praying for a cash buyer for Kyle and Andrea. So, we joined them in that prayer. It certainly would speed things up!
What a two weeks it was! Our first showing was the day after I arrived. That was the morning that Andrea had to take Kyle to get a physical before he boarded the boat and then take him to the port in Galveston. I was at the house doing what cleaning I could while I watched Ryker, kept an eye on the dogs, tried to pick up baby and dog toys…and what was that smell?! Had a mouse gotten in the wall and died?!
Not today!!
Thus began two weeks of crazy! We had down times with no showings but the showings we did have made up for the times of peace. Getting three dogs and a baby out the door in time was no easy task, all while cleaning and trying to KEEP the house clean.
The best picture of crazy was the day that we were rushing to get ready for a showing…the second showing for this particular realtor and his clients. That was hopeful! We were in our usual rush, but we had time and were feeling good about things. Then I saw a man walking to the door.
It was the realtor! An hour early!
He wanted to go ahead and show his clients the house. They were outside waiting in their car. And an older couple (grandparents?) were in another car. Andrea said no but told him we would hurry to get ready. She quickly put the dogs in the garage.
Then I saw Siggy, their husky, across the street in the neighbor’s yard!
There went Andrea, running across the street in front of the realtor, the clients, and the grandparents…yelling at Siggy…getting him back in the garage…trying to smile while everyone enjoyed the show!
Then we couldn’t find the misplaced car key, so we sat in the other car in the driveway while the group went in to see the house.
And they didn’t even put in an offer!
Time was passing! So, to my prayer for a cash buyer, I also asked God to please let the house sell before I left Houston to return to Wichita.
Six days before I was to leave, a realtor came to look at the house. His clients were out of town, but he knew what they wanted. He thought Kyle and Andrea’s house looked promising.
And oh, his clients were cash buyers.
We tried not to be too hopeful or to assume too much.
He liked what he saw. He made another appointment to bring his clients back to look at the house…six days later…the day I was leaving.
We managed to get out of the house 10 minutes before the showing. A 9:00 a.m. showing was no piece of cake for our two-legged and four-legged crowd!
How we were praying!
Andrea and I were on our way to the airport, Ryker asleep in his car seat, when not far from the airport her phone rang.
Rebecca, her realtor!
“The client’s realtor called,” she said. “He said to expect an offer this weekend. A cash offer.”
She was calm. We were anything BUT!
She cautioned us not to be too hopeful at this point.
All I could think of was that God seemed to be in this…and I was still in Houston, like I had prayed. At the airport, yes, but I hadn’t left yet! I think God was smiling.
We heard nothing that day, but on the next day Andrea called.
“I got the offer,” she told us. “It’s a cash offer for the full amount!”
Praise God!!!
There were a few hiccups in the next couple weeks, but God worked out every detail in the best way for Kyle and Andrea.
We are also very sensitive to the fact that there is another family who is dealing with all this in a different way than we are. We know that Kent and Marie, Kyle’s dear parents, are sad to see them and Ryker move so far away.
They have been nothing but supportive and kind…another reason for thankfulness and love on our part for them. And we are all praying for their future, wondering what other miracles God might do for them.
Yesterday was closing day. I can hardly describe my emotion when I received this picture.
Now begins the next chapter!
We will see how God supports our lot as He takes care of all our circumstances…including a nervous Uncle Aaron.
I’m writing this on Christmas morning. Usually, our Christmas morning is full of all the activity that you normally think of, but not this year. We won’t be celebrating our Christmas until the middle of January. I’m about to explain why.
And sorry, neighbors, but our outdoor decorations are staying up longer than ever! HaHa!
Our daughter Andrea and her husband Kyle live in the Houston area. They have wanted to leave the city for some time. After little Ryker was born, that desire intensified. Several months ago, they talked to their realtor there to start formulating a plan. Nothing was immediate, though. Their desire was to move to Wichita, where Gary and I live, but there was no concrete plan and no house on their radar.
Last October…on the 22nd, to be exact…I shared with Andrea the burden on my heart about their desire to move. I told her I didn’t know how she could do that if she was working on a new lab consulting position that was in the works.
So, I told her about a home for sale here. Roger and Deane, friends of ours that she also knows, were getting ready to put their house on the market. Andrea felt that it would be out of their price range, but I encouraged her to contact them anyway. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
She messaged Deane and lo and behold, the house WAS in their price range. Thus began a crazy week of lining up a loan pre-approval and so many other details…quickly. Very quickly!
Four days later, Roger and Deane’s realtor took pictures of their home. They thought the house wouldn’t be on the market for another week or two, but suddenly on that same day a for-sale sign was in their yard and the house was going live the next day.
Andrea and I talked that evening. “I’m trying not to be heartbroken and panic at the same time,” she told me.
This seemed insurmountable. But during this week God had given me a verse, as He always does. I was comforted as I read it, writing my memorial stone words in the margin beside God’s words.
“The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You support my lot.” (Psalm 16:5)
“Kyle and Andrea buying Brown’s house. October 2023,” I wrote.
The meaning of, “You support my lot,” is this: You take care of my circumstances.
What a needed promise! Whatever happened with this house was in God’s hands.
The next day, Andrea asked if Gary and I could run over to look at the house. Roger and Deane’s realtor had agreed to have us come and look around on behalf of Andrea and Kyle since they were out of town.
The dream seemed to still be alive!
Off we went! It was wonderful to see Roger and Deane. We stressed to them that they needed to pretend that they didn’t know us or know Andrea…that this was a business deal. Their realtor was facetiming with Andrea as she looked at the house from Houston. What a crazy way to try to buy a house! But God loves crazy.
Andrea and Kyle decided to put in an offer, but they needed a realtor here. Their loan company recommended one. Heather and Andrea talked, and in the conversation, Heather told Andrea that she might be hard to reach on Sunday mornings because she would be in church…a church that we know here. Heather is a believer! Another evidence of God’s hand!
The weekend was a bit stressful with offers for Roger and Deane’s beautiful home coming in…counter-offers…waiting and more waiting…realtors talking – just everything that goes along with buying a home.
I was in the bowling alley with Aaron and our friends when my phone rang on that Monday, October 30. It was Andrea calling. I wasn’t sure I wanted to answer, but I stepped outside so I could hear whatever news it was.
“They accepted our offer!!” Andrea exclaimed.
And just like that, the dream had become a reality!
It was surreal and amazing and so hard to grasp in that moment what God had done.
How thankful we were!
One more thing. Who are Roger and Deane?
Well, without giving too much detail, they had stood by our side 15 years ago during a very hard trial. Stood with us when no one else in that particular group would. And now God had brought them back into our lives to greatly bless our family again.
Isn’t God just wonderful to weave such a sweet story for all of us?!
But oh, there was so much ahead for everyone.
So much stress to come.
And so many opportunities for God to show His hand!
A prominent trait of individuals with autism is a fixation on time. Not just the current time, as in this oft-repeated conversation:
Me: Aaron, would you like to go ahead and eat your sub for lunch?
Aaron: Wait!
He then pushes his shirt sleeve up…WAY up, because he wears his watch halfway to his elbow…and stares at the time.
Aaron: Not yet.
Me (knowing the answer): Why not?
Aaron: Because it isn’t 12:00 yet. It’s 11:54.
But Aaron is also very concerned about ordering the timing of events in his day. That particular interchange sounds like this.
Me: Aaron, would you like to go to Swanson Park for a walk today?
Aaron: Yes! What time?
Me: Just whenever I get done with this laundry and a couple other things.
Aaron: So what time will that be?
Me: I don’t know, but I’ll come get you when I’m ready.
Later, as we walk in the park:
Me: After we finish our walk, I need to run by the house to do a few things. Then would you like to go to Dairy Queen? (Silly question!)
Aaron: Yeah!! What time?
Me: I don’t know the exact time. We haven’t even finished our walk yet.
Aaron: OK. So will it be 3:00?
Me: I don’t know, Aaron.
Later again, as Aaron is happily chowing down on a Choco Brownie Extreme Blizzard:
Me: For our show tonight, do you want to watch The Big Valley?
Aaron: Yeah!!
Silence, but I’m waiting for it…and Aaron doesn’t disappoint.
Aaron: What time?
AAAAHHHHH!!
That last part was just in my head.
Oh Aaron! He can drive us to distraction with his emphasis on time. And drives himself into great frustration when his timing ideas don’t match up with ours. Or even worse, when he asks us what time something will happen, and we don’t give him a precise answer.
Did you know that between the Old and New Testaments, there was a gap of 400 years when the people of Israel did not hear directly from God? There were no prophets, no visions, no word from God at all.
Just silence.
BUT!!!!
“BUT when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law.” (Galatians 4:4)
When the time was right in God’s eyes, did He ever speak! He sent His only Son, born of woman, to live and die in this world so that you and I could be redeemed.
I’m a time worrier, too. I wonder why sometimes God seems silent, or why He answers me but not in the way or in the timing I want…and am sure I need.
But this verse in Psalm 16 has meant so much to me, especially recently as I have claimed it for a situation in our family:
“The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You support my lot. (Psalm 16:4)
Just as God portioned out the Promised Land to Israel, so He also gives to me what I need but only WHEN I need it…not when I THINK I need it.
The words, ‘You support my lot’ mean that God takes care of my circumstances.
When I allow Him to be my portion and my inheritance…I partake of Him in daily communion as I travel this road of life…I learn to trust His timing in all the matters of life that matter so much to me.
Yes, I’m human and I get impatient and bothered but God is ever faithful and understanding of my fixation on time, much like Aaron’s.
I’m sitting here tonight at my desk, feeling the weight of hurt that someone I love is enduring. Yet knowing, too, that God is at work answering prayers that have been prayed for years.
Sometimes God’s answers come with pain.
Praying with that knowledge is an act of sacrifice.
I don’t like pain and hurt, and I especially don’t like to see those I love in that condition.
A few weeks ago, I drove to see a sweet friend for the day. I shot this quick picture while I headed down the road.
That cloud was both beautiful and intimidating. Would it just stay a gorgeous cloud, or would it turn into a storm? On I went on the road I needed to take. Turns out there was a little thunder later but mostly I enjoyed a very pretty sky that God gave.
About this same time, I read I Corinthians 7. Paul was encouraging people of various situations in life…wives, Jews, Gentiles, slaves. He ended the section with these words:
“Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called.” (I Cor. 7:24)
Three words jumped out at me.
Remain with God.
Whatever the condition to which we are called, we are to remain with God.
Sometimes…very often, actually…life’s situations to which God calls us are just plain hard.
Cancer. Oh, the dear friends I have who are battling cancer.
Dementia. Loss of a loved one. Or caring for a loved one with a serious illness.
Parenting special needs of any age.
And this world. This sad, scary, upended world.
But through it all, we are to remain with God.
Like that road I was driving, straight with a curve up ahead and a big uncertain cloud, but on which I knew I must remain until I reached my destination.
Remain with God through the tears, the fears, the pain, the pressures.
Don’t give up on God. Listen to what else Paul said about his own thorn in the flesh that God allowed him to have.
“And He has said to me, My grace is sufficient for you; for My power is made perfect in weakness.” (II Cor. 12:9)
If I don’t remain with God, then I will not be able to partake of His amazing and sufficient grace, or to experience His awesome power in my life.
Being under the hand of my loving Father is where I need to remain, regardless of the circumstances in which I find myself…or in which I find those that I love.
