Category: Patience

Aaron’s Joy to The World

Today after I picked Aaron up from his day group, we went to our vision center to get Aaron’s bent glasses un-bent.  This will not be the last time we do this.

Aaron was super excited to show me the Christmas antler headband he had gotten at his day group.  Of course, he grabbed it as we left the car and put it on his head as we walked in the door to the vision center.

I saw three other people sitting in the glasses area and thought our wait would be too long so I told Aaron we should just try again tomorrow.

This Plan B of mine was not acceptable to Aaron.

The poor new-to-us receptionist that was headed around the corner to the waiting area was suddenly waylaid by Aaron before I could even grab one of his antlers.  

“HEY!” he loudly exclaimed to her.  “Can I stay and get my glasses adjusted?”

She stammered as I began to tug on Aaron’s coat while explaining to her that we would come back tomorrow because the wait might be too long.

“No,” Aaron said, “can I get my glasses fixed now?  They’re bent!”

“Well, sure,” she kindly responded, “you can get them fixed today.”

“But I think we should come tomorrow,” I began.

But Aaron was taking off his glasses and reached out to hand them to her.

“Here!!” he said, “can you fix them?”

I had to explain that she was not the glasses fixer as she went back to her chair and signed Aaron in and my fate was sealed.

“Wait!” Aaron blurted out as we sat down.  “Since we might have to wait, I need to get my sticker book out of the car.”

He was gone in a flash while I watched him from the window and hit the unlock button on my app.

The car would not unlock.

I tried again.  Aaron stood there staring at me in the window and shaking his head no.

So out the door I went, got the door unlocked, and Aaron grabbed his book before walking briskly back to the waiting room.

Just as we walked in, the technician who knows us smiled broadly as she called Aaron’s name.  

Actually, everyone knows us if I have Aaron with me.

This lady is the kindest person and she loves Aaron.  She complimented his green sparkly reindeer antlers and then asked to see his latest sticker book.  She took all the time in the world to talk to him, all the while with a huge grin on her face and true delight.  

He was already busily filling his sticker book page as she got up to go in the back and work on his glasses.  The page wouldn’t stay open, so he took the mirror on the table beside him and put it on the page to hold it open.  He acted perfectly at home to do that.  

I just relaxed in my chair.  It felt good to take a breath after our very hectic and loud entrance.  It was a big relief to be with someone who knows Aaron and who loves to talk to him.  

Aaron didn’t see anything at all amiss about his loudness.  He was totally unaware that all eyes were on him.

But me…even after all these years I still feel the eyes of the people around us and I struggle sometimes with embarrassment.

Yet I looked at Aaron sitting there, green antlers and all, with the mirror holding his book open and his eyes intent on each sticker being placed just right…

And I thought how to Aaron, everything in that moment was just right, too.  He was getting his glasses adjusted and he was talking to someone who truly was interested in his every word, and he finished the picture he had started.

I looked around and saw the other technicians smiling at Aaron and at me.  His comments were delighting them.

Aaron moved the mirror and gathered his book up after we were done.  He was up and off without even a goodbye as our friend just laughed with…joy.

That was it, I thought.  Joy.

I saw other patients smiling at us as we walked out, Aaron’s green antlers shining as he led the way to the door and the car.

There it was again as we passed them.  Joy.

It was on their faces.  I wondered what was on my face when we first came in the waiting room.  I can tell you it wasn’t joy.

There are plenty of times that Aaron exasperates me but today it did me lots of good to pause and see that Aaron does have his unique and uninhibited way of spreading his own brand of joy to others.  

I want to remember this day.

Green antlers and all.

Uncie Aaron…His Buddy and His Burden

Time waits on no man, Chaucer said.  Time waits on no child, either.  We see this clearly as we watch Ryker growing.  Pictures from a few months ago compared to now show his physical growth.  New words and speaking in sentences show his intellectual growth.  

It brings joy mixed with a dose of sadness as all parents and grandparents know very well.

Ryker and Aaron’s relationship is also growing with time.  We have seen great strides on Aaron’s part in his friendship with his little nephew.  

Sometimes Aaron sees Ryker as his buddy.

Aaron still loves giving Ryker snacks.

Screenshot

He didn’t even mind Ryker taking his favorite chair one day.

They play funny make-believe games.

Wear goofy hats of Aaron’s.

Watch cars zoom down the track.

Do chalk drawings.

Laugh at silly cartoons.

Thoroughly enjoy water balloons.

Blow dandelions.

Play music.

Occasionally share the playset.

Fly a plane.

And one of the best is when they watched our fireworks on the Fourth.

It’s just the cutest thing to see Aaron look at Ryker and say, “Ryker!  Come on!”  Then to see Ryker bolt as fast as he can on his little legs to run with Aaron up the stairs to Aaron’s room where all sorts of fun and unique gadgets await his exploration.  

And snacks that are new to Ryker!  Dots!  Red Hots!  Pistachios! 

And gum!  

So, you can see that we must monitor things closely, sometimes much to Aaron and Ryker’s frustration.

But for all the positive steps forward, Aaron still carries the burden of his autistic way of processing his world and how others impact it.

Aaron sends mixed signals to Ryker.  One minute he might be happily allowing Ryker to play with one of his cool toys and the next he might yell no to Ryker for touching another treasured item.  

Aaron can be hurtful with his words during those times, and inappropriate.  

Therefore, we must also monitor those moments as we try to foresee certain triggers that might upset Aaron.  We’re just never totally in the clear and probably never will be.

Yet, again, the progress Aaron has made truly gives us much for which to thank the Lord.  

The challenges cause us to seek God’s patience and wisdom as well.

Speaking of prayer, this has been one of the sweetest and funniest areas of Uncie Aaron and Ryker’s relationship.  

Aaron has never forgotten a silly prayer that he heard in an old Don Knott’s movie when he was a child.  He sometimes yells it out when we get ready to ask the blessing before eating.

“Rub-a-dub-dub!!  Thanks for the grub!!” 

No amount of correction on our part has kept Aaron from blurting that out sometimes.  So, you guessed it.  One day as we all sat at the table and joined hands, Aaron gleefully yelled, “Rub-a-dub-dub!”

And Ryker, without missing a beat, chirped “Rub-a-dub-dub!!”

Let’s close our eyes to pray now…and let the adults grin real big!

Every night as part of Aaron’s bedtime routine, we join hands and pray.  Ryker has joined us before.  One night I asked Ryker if he wanted to pray with us, so he scurried up on the bed, took our hands, and immediately launched into his own prayer.  We didn’t understand much of what he said, but it was precious in God’s eyes, I know, and certainly in ours.  

Andrea shared with us Ryker’s prayer one night at their house.  I had come over to help with the baby.  Laying in his bed before he went to sleep, Ryker prayed:

“Dear Jesus, dank you Gramoo.  Dank you Uncie Aaron.  Dank you donuts.”

Out of the mouths of babes.

Dear Jesus, dank you Uncie Aaron.  Even in the frustrations…the continual training that sometimes never seems to take hold…the corrections…the monitoring…

May we see the joy he also brings…the laughter…the delight at the simplest things that we often overlook.

And the huge progress he’s made in his role as Uncie Aaron.

Let’s not forget donuts!

Rub-a-dub-dub!!

Another Lunch With Aaron

“Where are you eating lunch today?” asked the ladies at the front desk as Aaron and I left his Epilepsy doctor visit.  

“Chili’s!!” Aaron answered excitedly.

“Oh, I love Chili’s,” one said.

“I want to go to Chili’s!” added the other.

Aaron chuckled loudly as we left the waiting room, me warm with their always welcoming chatter with Aaron…and Aaron walking with purpose now because finally we were going to lunch!  After all, eating out is the real objective of every doctor appointment, at least for Aaron.

Soon we were pulling under a shade tree in the Chili’s parking lot, where Aaron was quickly opening his door while I quickly told him to wait on me.  He did, thankfully, and together we walked in the door.  

Curious stares greeted us as Aaron barreled in and had eyes for only one thing…the toothpick dispenser.  You see, Aaron “collects” toothpicks, so he makes a beeline in every restaurant to the sharp little prizes he knows are on the front counter.  He proceeded to increase his collection while I trailed slightly behind him, trying to greet the host while simultaneously attempting to discreetly tug Aaron away from the toothpicks.  Aaron was unaware of the host saying hello or of the all-too familiar looks he was receiving from the puzzled host.  He was too busy stuffing toothpicks in his pocket, but he did have presence of mind enough to tell the host we wanted a booth while I reminded him that any seat was fine.  

I was just happy to finally be seated.  Our server appeared quickly.  I could tell right away that he was comfortable with Aaron, and I hoped that attitude would last.  We were still early into his Aaron experience and one just never knows.

“Hello,” he happily said.  “My name is Luke and I’ll be taking care of you today.”

“Can I have a salad with NO croutons and TWO ranches??!!” Aaron bellowed.  

And for at least the millionth time I reminded Aaron that our server was taking our drink orders now.  Food orders would come later.

“Oh OK,” Aaron replied as if this was new news.  

Our waters came and the instant Luke asked if we were ready to order…

“Can I have a salad with NO croutons and TWO ranches??!!”

I guess I don’t need to tell you whose order that was.

Luke was smiling broadly as Aaron continued his order.  Aaron always asks IF he can have the menu items he wants, as if he needs permission from the server.  I don’t even try to correct him anymore.  I figure it’s part of Aaron’s charm.

We munched on chips and salsa while waiting for our meals, Aaron pretty much talking non-stop.  Luke was very attentive and kind, checking on us often with a big smile. 

A few young men walked by our table.  The stare one of them gave Aaron made me want to tell him to take a page out of Luke’s playbook.  Aaron is NOT an alien so quit looking at him like he is, I wanted to yell.  Although as I have often said, Aaron would think looking like an alien is super cool!

 I did have to monitor situations sometimes as we sat in our booth that Aaron wanted.  He turned to stare at the people sitting near us, uncomfortably so, and I had to remind him to turn around and not to stare.  

“I just wanted to see what they were eating,” he explained.

Then came the reminder to not point at the large group of people behind me as he informed me that they must be having a party.

“But I just think they’re having a party,” he told me as he pointed again!

Luke stopped again to check on us.

“Can we have chips and salsa to take home??!!” Aaron loudly asked while I protested and Luke said, “Sure!!” much to Aaron’s happy laughing delight.

Finally, Aaron was full, and we were ready to go.  As we stood up, Aaron edged slightly close to the woman in the booth behind us as he stared down at her plate.  I was trying to gently pull him back.  Her husband eyed Aaron suspiciously and I hoped to catch his eye and apologize but he was fixed on Aaron.

I again explained to Aaron how inappropriate and embarrassing that was as we walked away while he again explained that he just wanted to see what she was eating.  

And again, I ran interference as we passed the hostess desk, and he smelled the scent of those toothpicks.  I succeeded in averting the toothpick theft this time as the eyes of the host eyed Aaron once again.

We made it inside our hot car.

WHEW!!

Another lunch on the books.  

Another group of people with varying impressions of our Aaron.

Another reminder that when an Aaron walks into your life for even this brief time, just smile like Luke…disregard Aaron’s pointing…understand that he is curious about other people’s plates and parties…and whatever you do…

DON’T STARE!!

I just might let him point at you and stare back!  

Much To Them

Some time ago I was fixing Rice Krispie Treats.  Aaron stood and watched for a minute, and then asked if he could eat some marshmallows.  Since I have never been a big fan of eating marshmallows that aren’t in Rice Krispie treats or in my holiday fruit salad, I told him that I wasn’t sure if he would like them, either.  He wondered why.

“Well, they’re mostly puffed sugar,” I told him. “There isn’t much to them.”

“There’s much to them to me!” he answered in no uncertain terms.  

Aaron didn’t realize it, but he had perfectly described how he runs his life.  What would probably seem superfluous to us is not viewed that way at all by Aaron.  Let me give some examples of what is important to Aaron in his autistic world.  Not just important, but absolutely necessary.

Aaron set the table one Christmas.  Look at his multiple forks and spoons.  At least he arranged them neatly.  He always requires several forks, spoons, and sometimes knives, no matter what he is eating.  There’s much to them to Aaron!

There is also much to the number of plates and bowls Aaron wants when he eats.  I’m so thankful for my dishwasher!

When Aaron “goes to bed” at night he reads, listens to music, works on his sticker book, and sometimes plays a game.  He starts this routine early.  A big element of his bedtime is to arrange special items on his bed in just the perfect spots and order.  This includes a stack of greeting cards that he has saved over the years, a cat book that he isn’t reading but that he must have on his bed, his back scratcher, and various items.  I just shake my head but there is much to them to Aaron!

Aaron was eating a bag of popcorn the other day.  Look at the bag and you will understand why Aaron kept telling us, “I love ridiculously cheesy popcorn!”  Or “Tomorrow I want to buy more of that ridiculously cheesy popcorn.”  And “I seem to like this ridiculously cheesy popcorn.”  What seemed ridiculous to us meant much to Aaron.  What’s printed on the bag is part of the name, people!  We just smiled.

Yet there are times when the things that mean much to Aaron can cause great frustration and anger when they don’t work out as he expects.  One of the biggest issues for him is when his schedule is disrupted.  Whatever…or whoever…causes the disruption is often the object of Aaron’s deep frustration.  His tongue can be hurtful, and his anger can be deep when things don’t go his way.  We work on that all the time and praise him when he handles change well, like he did at Christmas.

It’s easy to get very frustrated with Aaron when he won’t budge out of his routine…won’t quit talking about the same topic of interest over and over and over…runs out to our neighbors when they’re taking a walk so he can talk to THEM about said topic…won’t wait patiently for hardly anything…and so many other issues.

Autism is so complex, and everyone is different.  Yet every single autistic person has those tightly held focuses that are “much to them,” and they are not going to let go of those things.  

It’s best to try to understand that fact and then work with them with as much love and understanding as you can muster.  

I know from many years of experience with Aaron that it isn’t always easy, but it’s always best to attempt to approach issues from his viewpoint to better understand why on earth he’s reacting the way he is.  

And always, eventually…when the dust settles…to show him by my words and actions that he matters.

To show him that his unique ways are worth my time…that “there’s much to them to me.”

And therefore, Aaron, “there’s much to YOU to me!”

Hurry and Wait!

I’ve written before about how hard it is for Aaron to wait…for anything!  It doesn’t matter if he’s waiting to go to his day group in the mornings, or to Meals on Wheels on Thursdays, or to go shopping, or to watch a program with me, or to eat a favorite meal I’m fixing…waiting is not his strength.

As an example, one night Aaron didn’t want to go to sleep until I came up to bed so that we could do his nighttime routine.  

“Mom!” he said, “when are you coming to bed?”

“I don’t know,” I replied.  “I need to get done with some things, and it’s still early.”

“Well,” he responded, “when you’re done with doing things and it’s done being early, when will that be?”

Oh Aaron.  

He is not easily deterred.

This past Friday night, Aaron was in a tizzy as he was both excited and anxious that his friend Barb, along with her two daughters and a good friend, were coming to take him out for his birthday lunch.  

He wanted to know what time they were coming and then re-affirmed the time over and over.  He talked about where they would eat, what he would order, who was coming, what time should he get up in the morning, etc., etc., etc.

As I was drifting off to sleep, thinking that maybe, just maybe, I would soon hear his steady SLEEPING breaths on the baby monitor on my nightstand, instead it was:

“So first I’ll take my shower in the morning and then I’ll drink my coffee.  Then will I have time to watch a movie, Mom?”

“Mom?”

“Mom?”

 I sure do get plenty of deep breathing exercises.

The next morning, Aaron did take a shower, and he did drink his coffee, but he did NOT watch much of a movie.  Instead, he followed me around the house and then outside as I did some straightening on the porch and in the yard.

He finally got some of his energy out by rocking on the porch, but he is able to multitask, as in talking about waiting while he rocks.

“I just want Barb to come real quick,” he said.  “But she won’t be able to come real quick, right?”

“That’s right,” I replied.

“She just needs to take time, right?” he added.

“That’s right,” I numbly answered.

It was quite for a hopeful minute.

“Does she know how to get here?” he questioned.

I assured him that she did.

He dug in his pocket for his pocket watch.

“It’s 10:43,” he informed me.  “That means it won’t be long till she’s here, right?”

I wanted to tell him that it would be longer than I wanted it to be, but I didn’t.

More deep breathing exercises.

He finally went to sit under the maple tree and crunch mulch in his trash can.  This helps him relax and unwind.  

You have no idea how tempted I was to join him and see if it might do the same for me!

Ahhhh!  Blissful quiet!    

“Mom!  What’s the car of Barb look like?!”

Dear Aaron!

He was beside himself with excitement when the car of Barb pulled into our driveway.  

And he was every bit as excited when the car of Barb brought him home.  He bounded in the house with lots to tell of what they ate and of shopping and of all the goodies he had been given.

We love that these sweet friends gave Aaron a very happy day.

It truly was worth the wait, and not only for Aaron.  

Cue The Music, Aaron…Or Not

Aaron and I were hurrying out the door a couple mornings ago so I could take him to Paradigm, his day group.  I kept feeling like we were forgetting something.  We were three miles from the house when I remembered what we forgot.

Aaron’s wallet!  

He absolutely loves his almost daily excursion to Quik Trip, where with his seven dollars he has his pick of foods…mostly of the junk variety.  Forgetting his wallet would not do!  I could have given Aaron some money, but all I had was a $20 bill, and believe me when I say that Aaron would have spent $19.99 on that junk variety food.

I reassured a panicked Aaron that we would go back to get the wallet as I headed for the next exit.  He was very relieved.

Immediately he reached over and turned off the music that was playing.  I knew why he did that, but just to test my theory…or more like a confirmed fact based on years of solid experience…I slyly reached down after a few seconds and turned on the music.

He didn’t miss a beat and neither did Whitney Houston as his arm shot out and pushed that off button once more.

“I’ll turn the music back on after we get my wallet,” he informed me, not knowing that I could have told him that about himself. 

This little episode is just one of the many ways that autism affects Aaron’s life.  He lives by a strict set of rules that sometimes only he understands but that we must obey if his life…and therefore, ours…is to be happy.

He does this same thing as we go to Meals on Wheels every Thursday.  He won’t play his music until we have picked up our food at the Senior Center and are actually beginning our route.

The wallet episode may have been a different situation, but the same rule applies.  Our diversion to go back home for his wallet had interrupted our trip to Paradigm.  This interruption was not a part of the actual drive.  Since his music is to be played on the actual drive, that music must not be played on the non-actual drive.

Are you following?

If you lived with Aaron, you better be!

It’s a matter of principle with Aaron.  

He follows this principle when we are watching a program.  Aaron will have his snack ready.  The bag or jar will be open.  The plate of food will be placed on his ottoman or his lap.  His napkins are nearby in their holder and his multiple pieces of silverware are ready to go.  His drink and straw are within easy reach.

But nothing is touched until the first scene of the show…and most critical, the opening credits…are completed and the real honest-to-goodness show has begun.

I have sat nervously by as his ice cream started melting before he will pick up his spoon and start to eat.

It does no good for me to try to make Aaron hurry up and eat, or turn his music back on, or change any other scenario of his life in which this principle applies.

Not even my deep sighing has any effect on Aaron.  He probably just thinks Mom is old and weird.

I love seeing these intricacies of the autistic mind that Aaron has.  Even when his internal rules drive us crazy, they are still very fascinating to observe.  And understanding those rules and allowing them when we can, makes Aaron’s life… and ours…much easier to navigate.

He not only follows the beat of a different drummer, but he also tells the drummer when he can beat his drum and when he can’t!  

Aaron’s Tears

Let me say right from the beginning of this blog post that I am sorry for writing another sad Aaron story.  As if The Flip Side – my previous blog – wasn’t enough, here I go again.  But I promise to have happy stories and huge Aaron smiles coming up.  After all, Halloween is right around the corner and Aaron is nothing short of over-the-moon excited about all things Halloween and pumpkins and…for the first time ever (really!)…a costume that he cannot WAIT to wear!!

In my last blog I tried to explain the impact that Aaron’s obsessions have on his everyday life.  In true autistic fashion, he will become hyper-focused on something that soon controls his decisions and his emotions. 

Water, as in the drinking of water, is another of Aaron’s obsessions.  Years ago, our daughter told him that there was such a thing as drinking too much water.  She was right.  In 2015, Aaron ended up in the hospital.  He was incoherent and unable to walk.  His sodium was dangerously low.

Over the years we have attempted to control his water urges but it’s very difficult to do so with a grown man who is able to get his own water…and is very sneaky about hiding water bottles, especially at bedtime. 

Three weeks ago, after routine bloodwork, I got a call from his doctor informing us that Aaron’s sodium was low again.  Aaron did a great job of reducing his fluid intake and in only one week his levels were normal again.  We praised Aaron for the good work, and he was quite thrilled.

But water obsessions are like an addiction.  The urges for lots of water returned, along with our removing bottles from his room and threatening to lock the garage refrigerator with all the water bottles inside.  Gary and I hadn’t figured out what to do about the faucets or the fridge water dispenser.  Ugh!!

Aaron has been doing better the past few days, though, and so we can only hope that he is learning to control himself.  But this past Monday at his day group was rough.

Aaron got some coffee at QuikTrip, and it accidentally was kicked over by a friend.  It spilled all over the floor.  He had taken water with him that day, but decided he wanted a bottle of water that was inadvertently offered to him.  A staff reminded him that he couldn’t have more water.  All of this was just too much, and the tears came.

He was totally dejected.  A staff took this picture of him in her office.

At first I smiled, but then I zoomed in, and the look on his face…

Well, it broke my heart.  And then I was crying.

If there was ever a picture of Aaron’s deep frustrations, this is it.

But why do I share this? 

Because I want others to know that these fixations of Aaron’s…and of so many others with autism or other issues…are life changing for them and are not to be flippantly brushed aside with a, “Oh, just get over it, Aaron.”

He can’t “just get over it.”

He is so deeply affected by his own fixations.

My blogging friend, Nancy, commented on The Flip Side that I wrote last week. 

“Dear Aaron,” she wrote, “it must be SO frustrating to deal with uncontrollable urges.”

Her comment touched me so much because she acknowledged that Aaron’s urges…his obsessions…are truly uncontrollable.  And she expressed empathy for that side of Aaron because of how deeply impacting it is in his life. 

How frustrating it is for him.

And I know that if I can look at Aaron through eyes of understanding and compassion, then hopefully he will see and feel the fact that he is understood and loved. 

Easy?  No.  Especially in the heat of the moment, or late at night when I am carrying three water bottles out of his room while he loudly protests.

Yet again, though, Aaron has shown me how much I am this way with my heavenly Father.  How I let my obsessions for things that aren’t good for me control my thoughts and my actions.

The mercy and grace that God gives to me is exactly what I need to show to Aaron. 

I goof up and God is there to forgive and to instruct, and to patiently love me through the repercussions of my repeated actions.

 I must do the same for Aaron…forgiving and instructing and most importantly, loving him through the repercussions he might face.

And maybe look into a water sniffing dog, as well?  😊

I Can’t Wait!

Waiting patiently for anything is not a strong suit of Aaron’s.  Whether he is waiting for me to get off the phone or waiting on a huge surprise, it doesn’t matter.  Patient waiting is a foreign concept to him.

This is why we often don’t tell Aaron of an upcoming event until shortly before it actually occurs.  Too bad he knows when his birthday is because he is in planning mode for months before the big day. 

Earlier this year, a big dinosaur exhibit was coming to town.  Gary and I decided to take Aaron and to make it a surprise, more for our sake than anything.  The big day came…tickets were bought…plans were in place…and finally I told Aaron that we were taking him on a surprise adventure. 

It wasn’t THAT long before we were leaving that I broke the exciting news to him, but oh my goodness!  I quickly realized that I should have waited until we were in the van and on our way before uttering a word about our surprise trip.

Aaron can hover better than any hummingbird or helicopter.  He hovered outside my door as I got ready.  He knocked and knocked on the door, asking if it was time to go yet.  He lingered outside the bathroom door as I dried my hair.  He stood right beside me as I brushed my teeth, asking questions and wanting me to answer even with a mouthful of toothpaste. 

“Aaron!!” I finally said, “quit being so impatient!!  Leave me alone and let me get ready.”

I enjoyed a few moments of blissful quiet…until he once again knocked loudly on my door.

“But MOM!!”  he exclaimed, “I don’t have anything to DO while I’m being impatient!!”

Let me say, I am so much like Aaron when God has me wait for something, especially something that I have prayed about for a long time.

Look at Isaac and Rebekah.  Isaac married Rebekah when he was 40 years old.  No children came, however, because Rebekah was barren.  In Genesis 25 we read that Isaac prayed on behalf of Rebekah and she conceived.

But guess how long it was before that happened?

20 years!

YEARS!!

Can you imagine the disappointment, over and over and over?

The sadness?

The comparing themselves to others who had HOW many children during the time that they waited…and waited…and waited on God to keep His promise.

As Dale Davis points out in God’s Rascal, The Jacob Narrative, Isaac’s non-chosen brother Ishmael had 12 sons.  What’s up with that?!

But Isaac didn’t just idly or impatiently wait.  We’re told that he prayed on behalf of his wife. 

The Hebrew term used there means that Isaac didn’t just pray FOR his wife.  It indicated that he prayed in front of her…in her presence.

I found Isaac’s action in prayer to not only be very encouraging but also very precious.  He led Rebekah and he joined her in her pain…in their pain…as they waited for God’s answer.

Sometimes things seem so hopeless.  We don’t see answers coming.  It’s so easy to lose heart, especially when we have prayed and prayed and prayed.

I love this verse.

Right now, Aaron is laying on our couch downstairs.  He had three seizures this morning.  He is almost 38 years old and has had seizures since he was 7 years old.

I look at him as he ages, and I see the effect of all these years of seizures…of the toll they have taken on his body and on his mental abilities. 

But I know that as much as I love Aaron, God loves him even more.  And God loves me. 

He loves us and He has a reason that I will probably never know on this earth for all that Aaron has suffered.

So, I cry out to God.

And I know that God’s inclination is to lean down and hear my cry. 

Isn’t that a precious picture?

He joins me in my pain and in my waiting.

Am I always patient as I wait on God?

No!

But unlike Aaron, there IS something I can do while I’m being impatient and that is to pray.

And to praise, as David continues in Psalm 40.  Sing a new song of praise, which will be a testimony to others.

After all, “How blessed is the man (or woman) who has made the Lord his trust.”  (Psalm 40:4)

Gotta run.  Aaron is awake now and is planning our evening already.  😊 

The Normal Road

As I drove Aaron to his day group one day this week, we passed a big traffic accident in the other lanes of the highway we routinely travel.  We took our normal exit, only to discover that the exit we usually take when getting back on the highway was closed due to the accident.  I told Aaron that I would need to go another way home after I dropped him off.  This concerned him but I assured him that it was no big deal.

All was clear on the highway and the exits when I picked Aaron up later that afternoon.

“Mom?” he immediately asked when he got in the van, “can we go up the road we’re normal with?”

It took me a second, but then I understood what he meant.  He was very happy as I turned into our exit that we could go up the road that we are normal with.

Aaron was completely unaware that he had just perfectly described his life with autism.  And he had especially given the perfect picture of why our recent trip to Texas was full of our usual Aaron ups and downs.

Aaron wants to stay on the road that he is normal with.  Any variation of that road will most certainly be full of potholes and unexpected detours. 

The road that Aaron is normal with is only at home.  It is only his room…his bed…his computer…his games…his food…his bathroom…his day group…his routine.

His desire for his normal is why he wants to take as much of his normal with him as possible when he travels with us.  He takes more books than he will read in three years.  More music than he will listen to in the week that we are gone.  Way more food than he will eat and way more games than he will play.

And he takes way more out of all of us than we feel that we can give.

Patience and understanding are our goal on every trip, but they are often stretched very thin.  If only my scales would show how thinly I am stretched!  😊

One evening we were setting the table for supper at our daughter’s house.  I gave Aaron one fork just like all of us were using.  But look at his place at the table after he ran back to the kitchen and corrected my silly mistake.

Always, always, Aaron will take two forks and two spoons and two knives.  He doesn’t use them but what we need to understand is that for some reason he does NEED them. 

Again, here is a perfect description of living with autism – this time in picture form.

You can see Andrea’s one fork beside Aaron’s multiple pieces of silverware. 

Aaron needs more.  He can’t even tell you why he does but he indeed must have more.

He must have more than the rest of us in so many areas of his life.  Sometimes it’s hard to remember that.  It’s hard to be patient with him and understanding of a need that we don’t have.  A need that seems so unreasonable. 

But the complexities of autism are not to be trifled with. 

There are many ways that we as parents can guide and train Aaron, and we have.

But we must be wise in choosing our battles.  Some battles we will always lose, and such a loss is not worth it.

The road that Aaron is normal with is also a road that Gary and I travel right alongside him.

I guess you could say that over the years we have a new normal…one we could never have dreamed of having.

Some days the trip is long, and we feel near empty.

Then we see a view like this, and our hearts are full again.

Aaron is Still…….

Time slips so quickly away from me.  I feel the frustration of having more to do than I have hours in the day.  Blogging regularly is one of the things that continually gets pushed onto the back burner of my life.

Speaking of back burners, our kitchen is nearly finished.  We’ve been fully using it for several weeks now.  I love it!   Our second new refrigerator was delivered a week ago.  Our first new fridge didn’t work for even one second and it was an ordeal getting the company to approve and deliver a new one.  Just another first world problem.  Our refrigerator in the garage filled the need.  All our furniture is in the family room and other rooms.  We slowly are settling in and are very thankful for Luke’s diligence during a difficult process due to supply issues and being short staffed.  We have no complaints.  I will show pictures when the kitchen is totally done.  Did I say we LOVE it?!

So many times, as we live life with Aaron, I find myself saying, “Oh, I want to share this!”  Yet this life with Aaron is one reason that I DON’T get to share all that I want.  He does keep me very busy.  So, let me just give a quick update and maybe more expounding will come later…but don’t hold your breath too long.

Aaron is still an adventure sitting across the table when we eat out.

Epic straw wrapper blowing, Aaron!

Or when we go shopping.

He is still trying to get Moe, our neighbor’s cat, out from under Gary’s truck.

He is still talking to our neighbors EVERY chance he gets…and we are still so thankful for very patient and understanding neighbors who are true friends.  Gina sent me this picture and said, “I took this the other night when he was telling us all about life!”  Derek has the same look on his face that we often do!  😊  😊

He is still popping over to Amanda and Colby’s house, where she put him to work one recent night making Kool-Aid.

He is still melting our hearts with his sweet relationship with Mollie.

He is still sharing things with everybody, like making sure we took this new pack of gum to Andrew a couple weeks ago when we spent time with him at a race. 

He shares this life of his with me and Gary every single day. 

What Aaron shares is funny and fascinating and sometimes very frustrating. 

Gary and I often laugh and always listen to his abundant talking.

But the frustrating parts of Aaron…well, we still know that we need to handle that with the same grace that God extends to us…every single day.

Easier said than done…and the subject of another blog…maybe…when life settles down.

Did I say don’t hold your breath?  😊