Category: Adult Autism

Aaron’s Joy to The World

Today after I picked Aaron up from his day group, we went to our vision center to get Aaron’s bent glasses un-bent.  This will not be the last time we do this.

Aaron was super excited to show me the Christmas antler headband he had gotten at his day group.  Of course, he grabbed it as we left the car and put it on his head as we walked in the door to the vision center.

I saw three other people sitting in the glasses area and thought our wait would be too long so I told Aaron we should just try again tomorrow.

This Plan B of mine was not acceptable to Aaron.

The poor new-to-us receptionist that was headed around the corner to the waiting area was suddenly waylaid by Aaron before I could even grab one of his antlers.  

“HEY!” he loudly exclaimed to her.  “Can I stay and get my glasses adjusted?”

She stammered as I began to tug on Aaron’s coat while explaining to her that we would come back tomorrow because the wait might be too long.

“No,” Aaron said, “can I get my glasses fixed now?  They’re bent!”

“Well, sure,” she kindly responded, “you can get them fixed today.”

“But I think we should come tomorrow,” I began.

But Aaron was taking off his glasses and reached out to hand them to her.

“Here!!” he said, “can you fix them?”

I had to explain that she was not the glasses fixer as she went back to her chair and signed Aaron in and my fate was sealed.

“Wait!” Aaron blurted out as we sat down.  “Since we might have to wait, I need to get my sticker book out of the car.”

He was gone in a flash while I watched him from the window and hit the unlock button on my app.

The car would not unlock.

I tried again.  Aaron stood there staring at me in the window and shaking his head no.

So out the door I went, got the door unlocked, and Aaron grabbed his book before walking briskly back to the waiting room.

Just as we walked in, the technician who knows us smiled broadly as she called Aaron’s name.  

Actually, everyone knows us if I have Aaron with me.

This lady is the kindest person and she loves Aaron.  She complimented his green sparkly reindeer antlers and then asked to see his latest sticker book.  She took all the time in the world to talk to him, all the while with a huge grin on her face and true delight.  

He was already busily filling his sticker book page as she got up to go in the back and work on his glasses.  The page wouldn’t stay open, so he took the mirror on the table beside him and put it on the page to hold it open.  He acted perfectly at home to do that.  

I just relaxed in my chair.  It felt good to take a breath after our very hectic and loud entrance.  It was a big relief to be with someone who knows Aaron and who loves to talk to him.  

Aaron didn’t see anything at all amiss about his loudness.  He was totally unaware that all eyes were on him.

But me…even after all these years I still feel the eyes of the people around us and I struggle sometimes with embarrassment.

Yet I looked at Aaron sitting there, green antlers and all, with the mirror holding his book open and his eyes intent on each sticker being placed just right…

And I thought how to Aaron, everything in that moment was just right, too.  He was getting his glasses adjusted and he was talking to someone who truly was interested in his every word, and he finished the picture he had started.

I looked around and saw the other technicians smiling at Aaron and at me.  His comments were delighting them.

Aaron moved the mirror and gathered his book up after we were done.  He was up and off without even a goodbye as our friend just laughed with…joy.

That was it, I thought.  Joy.

I saw other patients smiling at us as we walked out, Aaron’s green antlers shining as he led the way to the door and the car.

There it was again as we passed them.  Joy.

It was on their faces.  I wondered what was on my face when we first came in the waiting room.  I can tell you it wasn’t joy.

There are plenty of times that Aaron exasperates me but today it did me lots of good to pause and see that Aaron does have his unique and uninhibited way of spreading his own brand of joy to others.  

I want to remember this day.

Green antlers and all.

You’re Looking for Reindeer WHAT?!

Our sweet (and funny!) friends got Aaron this exploding reindeer poop for his birthday.

He LOVES it and has had so much fun sharing it with Ryker. Recently he and I went to Walmart to buy more of the poop (REINDEER poop!).

Of course, Aaron, who loves to accost every Walmart employee within sight to ask them where something is, was on a mission.

We couldn’t locate the poop (REINDEER poop). As we walked up an aisle, Aaron began veering toward a woman in the unmistakable blue Walmart vest.

Me: AARON! Do NOT ask anyone where the reindeer poop is. We can find it ourselves.

We had already looked in one section of Christmas supplies without success. Soon I saw an employee walking our way.

Me: Excuse me, I have a question…..

Aaron: We’re looking for the reindeer poop! Can you tell us where it is?

Me: Aaron, HUSH!

Me (trying again): Is there another section of Christmas decor and so forth?

He was able to answer my question despite his confusion and on our way we went, with me ordering Aaron in no uncertain terms to NOT ask any other poor innocent employees for help finding reindeer poop.

Soon we were in the garden section, scouring the Christmas aisles for reindeer poop, when there stood an unsuspecting blue-vested Walmart employee with a smile on her face. A smile which Aaron took for an open invitation to ask the dreaded question.

Aaron: HEY! Do you know where the reindeer poop is?

Me: AARON!

Aaron: I’m just trying to help us find the reindeer poop.

So I felt the urgent need to do some explaining about reindeer poop while she told us where it might be and I continued with my explanation more fully while Aaron briskly walked toward, hopefully, reindeer poop.

I hurried to catch up with him.

Me: AARON! I will find the reindeer poop!!

We did locate it, finally. Aaron was super excited and rubbed his hands together furiously while I carried the poop prize to self-checkout.

Hey, if any of you want to buy some exploding reindeer poop I can lend Aaron to you. He’ll help you find it or find who will.

I dare you. 🤣💩🦌

Aaron’s Lost Order

One day last week our exterminator was coming.  Aaron’s favorite storage place is his bedroom floor, so I had reminded him to clear his floor before we left the house.  

Soon a very upset Aaron came bounding up to me.

“Mom!!” he angrily said, “I lost the order of books!!”

When I walked into his room, I saw this.

His large stack of books had taken a tumble, ruining the careful order that Aaron had put them in.

I knew not to dismiss what to us would be no big deal.  To Aaron, this mayhem was a HUGE deal.

We got the books put on his bed as I assured him that he could restore the order when he came home later that day.

This is a perfect picture of our life with Aaron, more so lately than perhaps ever before.

Aaron has a rhythm to his life that he creates.  His routines and methods are vital to his happiness.  

We know better than to discount his routines.

There is always a balance in our life with Aaron as we seek to help him manage disruptions while at the same time validating his concerns…concerns of his that can lead to serious anger outbursts from him, which in turn lead to disruptions in our life.

Sadly, Aaron isn’t concerned about the effects he has on us.  Autism often manifests itself as narcissism in Aaron and in most others that I know who struggle with this condition. 

I have always said that physical disabilities are much easier understood than behavioral ones.

For instance, we have sadness and sympathy for Aaron when he has seizures.  The interruptions in our life that seizures might cause when we must change plans are clearly understood.

But when Aaron loses the order in his life that he has created he reacts with anger that sometimes becomes rage.  Nothing we say or do at that point has much if any effect.

I know when Aaron has a seizure that I can’t tell him to just wake up and come take a walk with me.  He understandably is unable to do that.

But I must also know that when Aaron has an emotional meltdown over something that has upset him, I can’t tell him to just get over it and stop being ridiculous.  He understandably is unable to do that either.

Except most of the time, at least on paper, his behaviors at those times are not understandable to most people.

My husband and I understand what is upsetting Aaron, most of the time, better than anybody.  

But again, those behaviors of his…goodness, they take a toll on us some days.

Autism surely is full of puzzle pieces, but we don’t have a picture on the box to tell us what the finished puzzle will look like.

And the pieces keep getting rearranged as Aaron’s order from day to day gets lost in one way or another.

Sometimes, though, a sweet picture starts taking shape from all those random pieces that we’re trying to fit together.

Despite lots of anger lately about having to fit his precious nephew and niece into his life and how their being here at our house causes his order to be mostly lost, he does often pull it together and shows his caring side.

Saturday evening, I watched Ryker climb up on Aaron’s bed and hand Aaron his current favorite Golden Book.

Aaron took the book and started reading Goldilocks and The Three Bears.  

When I read that book to Ryker, I use all the voices.  Papa Bear has a deep voice.  Mama Bear has a medium voice.  Baby bear has a little baby voice.  Ryker does the same when he “reads” it to us.  

When I read it to Ryker, though, we don’t make it through the whole book in one sitting because Ryker is soon off and running to his next adventure.

So, there was Aaron propped up in bed with Ryker kneeling on the bed nearby staring at him.  Aaron began to read Goldilocks and The Three Bears.

Except Aaron read the story with no inflection in his voice…no deep voice or medium voice or baby voice.  

No excitement.  No change in his voice when he read a question.  

Just a monotone monologue.  It was really hilarious.

And Ryker didn’t move a muscle.

Maybe he was in shock.  I have no idea.

But for the first time that I have seen at our house, Ryker let Aaron read the whole book.

I think Ryker senses a difference in Aaron but in his innocence, he accepts his Unkie Aaron just the way he is.

Oh, that we could all do the same!

Especially when Aaron’s life, like his stack of books, has lost its order and we think we might lose our minds.

Ryker let Aaron finish reading his book.

Sometimes we need to let Aaron finish his book with us, too…to try to understand him as we listen to his anger and his words.

To accept Aaron as he is while still trying to teach him and show him that there are other ways to manage life when he loses his order of books.

You Never Do That To Me!

One of Aaron’s biggest struggles is with jealousy.  And sadly, he is often the most jealous of the attention that we pay to our grandchildren.

Being Uncie Aaron is not always the joy to him that we hoped it would be.

On Saturday, Gary took Ryker for a ride around our yard on his riding lawn mower.   (No worries – the blades were up).  Sure enough, Aaron took note and soon said the all too familiar, “You never do that to me!”

So, Gary looked at Aaron and said, “Hop on!”

It was hilarious to look at Aaron sitting on Gary’s lap.  Aaron was really too big to fit and it was very awkward.  But good for Gary to give it a go!  And he could only go in reverse, which made it even funnier.  

How many times we have talked to Aaron about his place in our family as we assure him of our love!  

I was thinking about this as I continued my study in Nehemiah today.  Those that worked to restore the walls of Jerusalem, the temple, and the worship shared many various duties and positions.

Some were in high positions of leadership while others carried wood or cleaned up the many messes that were made.  Yet each person was appointed by God to the job he had for them.

Do you ever wonder about your place in life?  

Maybe you once held a position that is now gone.  

Or you never had a chance to prove that you could do what that other person is doing.  

Perhaps life has radically changed for you because of your health issues or age or finances or…you fill in the blank.

It’s so tempting to look at God and say, like Aaron, “God, you never do that for me!”

Comparison to others is the robber of joy.

Social media can be a real problem in this area.  I can be just fine and out of the blue see a post that makes me wish for something I don’t have.  

It can be any number of things, but the result is the same.

Ugly jealousy.

Discontent.

And if I don’t nip it in the bud, I might begin questioning God.

When we started our married life, Gary and I never dreamed that we would have a child with special needs.

Caregiving is not a life of leisure and does not allow for spontaneity in our lives.  Caring for Aaron is our life.  

We must consider him first in everything we do.

Your struggles are probably different from mine, but each of us do have those areas of raw questions that we may not share with anyone else but God.

Oh, but God!

He has given me that visual of Aaron riding on Gary’s lap to remind me that what I may desire is not His place for me.

I wouldn’t fit there.

God has put me here, where I am.  

If I don’t believe that then I am not living in obedience and trust to the God Who really does love me.

The God Who has put me in this place in His family for a specific reason.

So Lord, help me to get off that tractor where I sometimes want to be. 

Change my “You never do that to me!” to “Thank you for what you do FOR me in this place where you have put me!”

Uncie Aaron…His Buddy and His Burden

Time waits on no man, Chaucer said.  Time waits on no child, either.  We see this clearly as we watch Ryker growing.  Pictures from a few months ago compared to now show his physical growth.  New words and speaking in sentences show his intellectual growth.  

It brings joy mixed with a dose of sadness as all parents and grandparents know very well.

Ryker and Aaron’s relationship is also growing with time.  We have seen great strides on Aaron’s part in his friendship with his little nephew.  

Sometimes Aaron sees Ryker as his buddy.

Aaron still loves giving Ryker snacks.

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He didn’t even mind Ryker taking his favorite chair one day.

They play funny make-believe games.

Wear goofy hats of Aaron’s.

Watch cars zoom down the track.

Do chalk drawings.

Laugh at silly cartoons.

Thoroughly enjoy water balloons.

Blow dandelions.

Play music.

Occasionally share the playset.

Fly a plane.

And one of the best is when they watched our fireworks on the Fourth.

It’s just the cutest thing to see Aaron look at Ryker and say, “Ryker!  Come on!”  Then to see Ryker bolt as fast as he can on his little legs to run with Aaron up the stairs to Aaron’s room where all sorts of fun and unique gadgets await his exploration.  

And snacks that are new to Ryker!  Dots!  Red Hots!  Pistachios! 

And gum!  

So, you can see that we must monitor things closely, sometimes much to Aaron and Ryker’s frustration.

But for all the positive steps forward, Aaron still carries the burden of his autistic way of processing his world and how others impact it.

Aaron sends mixed signals to Ryker.  One minute he might be happily allowing Ryker to play with one of his cool toys and the next he might yell no to Ryker for touching another treasured item.  

Aaron can be hurtful with his words during those times, and inappropriate.  

Therefore, we must also monitor those moments as we try to foresee certain triggers that might upset Aaron.  We’re just never totally in the clear and probably never will be.

Yet, again, the progress Aaron has made truly gives us much for which to thank the Lord.  

The challenges cause us to seek God’s patience and wisdom as well.

Speaking of prayer, this has been one of the sweetest and funniest areas of Uncie Aaron and Ryker’s relationship.  

Aaron has never forgotten a silly prayer that he heard in an old Don Knott’s movie when he was a child.  He sometimes yells it out when we get ready to ask the blessing before eating.

“Rub-a-dub-dub!!  Thanks for the grub!!” 

No amount of correction on our part has kept Aaron from blurting that out sometimes.  So, you guessed it.  One day as we all sat at the table and joined hands, Aaron gleefully yelled, “Rub-a-dub-dub!”

And Ryker, without missing a beat, chirped “Rub-a-dub-dub!!”

Let’s close our eyes to pray now…and let the adults grin real big!

Every night as part of Aaron’s bedtime routine, we join hands and pray.  Ryker has joined us before.  One night I asked Ryker if he wanted to pray with us, so he scurried up on the bed, took our hands, and immediately launched into his own prayer.  We didn’t understand much of what he said, but it was precious in God’s eyes, I know, and certainly in ours.  

Andrea shared with us Ryker’s prayer one night at their house.  I had come over to help with the baby.  Laying in his bed before he went to sleep, Ryker prayed:

“Dear Jesus, dank you Gramoo.  Dank you Uncie Aaron.  Dank you donuts.”

Out of the mouths of babes.

Dear Jesus, dank you Uncie Aaron.  Even in the frustrations…the continual training that sometimes never seems to take hold…the corrections…the monitoring…

May we see the joy he also brings…the laughter…the delight at the simplest things that we often overlook.

And the huge progress he’s made in his role as Uncie Aaron.

Let’s not forget donuts!

Rub-a-dub-dub!!

Another Lunch With Aaron

“Where are you eating lunch today?” asked the ladies at the front desk as Aaron and I left his Epilepsy doctor visit.  

“Chili’s!!” Aaron answered excitedly.

“Oh, I love Chili’s,” one said.

“I want to go to Chili’s!” added the other.

Aaron chuckled loudly as we left the waiting room, me warm with their always welcoming chatter with Aaron…and Aaron walking with purpose now because finally we were going to lunch!  After all, eating out is the real objective of every doctor appointment, at least for Aaron.

Soon we were pulling under a shade tree in the Chili’s parking lot, where Aaron was quickly opening his door while I quickly told him to wait on me.  He did, thankfully, and together we walked in the door.  

Curious stares greeted us as Aaron barreled in and had eyes for only one thing…the toothpick dispenser.  You see, Aaron “collects” toothpicks, so he makes a beeline in every restaurant to the sharp little prizes he knows are on the front counter.  He proceeded to increase his collection while I trailed slightly behind him, trying to greet the host while simultaneously attempting to discreetly tug Aaron away from the toothpicks.  Aaron was unaware of the host saying hello or of the all-too familiar looks he was receiving from the puzzled host.  He was too busy stuffing toothpicks in his pocket, but he did have presence of mind enough to tell the host we wanted a booth while I reminded him that any seat was fine.  

I was just happy to finally be seated.  Our server appeared quickly.  I could tell right away that he was comfortable with Aaron, and I hoped that attitude would last.  We were still early into his Aaron experience and one just never knows.

“Hello,” he happily said.  “My name is Luke and I’ll be taking care of you today.”

“Can I have a salad with NO croutons and TWO ranches??!!” Aaron bellowed.  

And for at least the millionth time I reminded Aaron that our server was taking our drink orders now.  Food orders would come later.

“Oh OK,” Aaron replied as if this was new news.  

Our waters came and the instant Luke asked if we were ready to order…

“Can I have a salad with NO croutons and TWO ranches??!!”

I guess I don’t need to tell you whose order that was.

Luke was smiling broadly as Aaron continued his order.  Aaron always asks IF he can have the menu items he wants, as if he needs permission from the server.  I don’t even try to correct him anymore.  I figure it’s part of Aaron’s charm.

We munched on chips and salsa while waiting for our meals, Aaron pretty much talking non-stop.  Luke was very attentive and kind, checking on us often with a big smile. 

A few young men walked by our table.  The stare one of them gave Aaron made me want to tell him to take a page out of Luke’s playbook.  Aaron is NOT an alien so quit looking at him like he is, I wanted to yell.  Although as I have often said, Aaron would think looking like an alien is super cool!

 I did have to monitor situations sometimes as we sat in our booth that Aaron wanted.  He turned to stare at the people sitting near us, uncomfortably so, and I had to remind him to turn around and not to stare.  

“I just wanted to see what they were eating,” he explained.

Then came the reminder to not point at the large group of people behind me as he informed me that they must be having a party.

“But I just think they’re having a party,” he told me as he pointed again!

Luke stopped again to check on us.

“Can we have chips and salsa to take home??!!” Aaron loudly asked while I protested and Luke said, “Sure!!” much to Aaron’s happy laughing delight.

Finally, Aaron was full, and we were ready to go.  As we stood up, Aaron edged slightly close to the woman in the booth behind us as he stared down at her plate.  I was trying to gently pull him back.  Her husband eyed Aaron suspiciously and I hoped to catch his eye and apologize but he was fixed on Aaron.

I again explained to Aaron how inappropriate and embarrassing that was as we walked away while he again explained that he just wanted to see what she was eating.  

And again, I ran interference as we passed the hostess desk, and he smelled the scent of those toothpicks.  I succeeded in averting the toothpick theft this time as the eyes of the host eyed Aaron once again.

We made it inside our hot car.

WHEW!!

Another lunch on the books.  

Another group of people with varying impressions of our Aaron.

Another reminder that when an Aaron walks into your life for even this brief time, just smile like Luke…disregard Aaron’s pointing…understand that he is curious about other people’s plates and parties…and whatever you do…

DON’T STARE!!

I just might let him point at you and stare back!  

My Mother and Aaron

Ten years ago, on Mother’s Day weekend, we held my mom’s funeral.  It was fitting for her to be honored during the weekend dedicated to mothers, but it was also heart rending.  Her funeral, conducted by my brother, was the sweetest funeral I have ever attended.  

For her funeral, John had each of the grandchildren write down their favorite memories of their grandmother.  Aaron couldn’t do that, so I wrote about the special relationship they had.  I want to share that now.

So many memories come flooding in when I sit and think of my mother and her relationship with Aaron, her special grandson.  Not that he was any more special than all the other grandchildren, but because Aaron has special needs.  Yet those special needs are what made him so very special to his Grandmother.  From a young age, Aaron was diagnosed with epilepsy and autism.  His curiosities and abilities were a joy to his grandmother.  I’ll never forget her delight at watching him in Colorado, before he turned two years old, showing her his letters and naming them correctly…and how surprised and delighted she was.  I remember our visits to Third Street and all the fun Aaron would have.  The sprinkler in the yard, helping Grandmother put together her famous homemade pizzas, playing with the big marble toy or Legos, and Cheerios in the living room coffee table drawer.  And spinach!  Mom fixed spinach one night and Aaron, thinking that spinach would make him strong like Popeye, kept opening the refrigerator door, pry open the plastic container of spinach, take some of that cold spinach out, grimace as he swallowed it, and then push the container back and close the door.  Mom just stood there outside the kitchen, peeking in and laughing so hard at Aaron as he repeatedly choked down that cold spinach. 

We visited for Christmas right after Dad was diagnosed with liver cancer.   Aaron watched Grandmother and Granddaddy open their Christmas presents.  One present they received was a plaque with a long poem about what cancer cannot take away.  Mom, knowing that Aaron could read very well, handed him the plaque and asked him to read it out loud to us.  Aaron read every word while we all cried.  It was a memory Mom often spoke of, with tears in her eyes.  

One more!  We came home in 2010 for Mom’s surprise birthday party.  Even then she was having a hard time remembering all the grandchildren.  But she looked across the room, saw Aaron, and her mouth and eyes opened wide.  “There’s Aaron!” she said with true joy.  That recognition meant so much to Aaron, even though he couldn’t really express it.  I could tell from the look on his face.  So, the night that we found out she had died, I reminded Aaron of that day when Grandmother recognized him from across the room.  Aaron just smiled and said, “Yeah.”  It wasn’t a long comment, but his smile and his joy were unmistakable.  

That is what Mom gave to him…a smile, joy, and great love.  

I am forever grateful that God gave us our mother to love each of us, but also to especially love our special Aaron.

Her smile, her joy, and her great love will always be a part of our lives.  

And for that, I am forever blessed and grateful.

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Uncle Aaron and His Nephew Boy

Time for another installment in the ongoing saga of Uncle Aaron and Ryker, aka Nephew Boy.

Our exterminator, whom we’ve known for years, was at our house not long ago.  Aaron captured him…well, not literally but verbally…and decided to talk to him about Ryker.

“My nephew boy,” Aaron began and proceeded to tell George some news about Ryker.

“I have a nephew boy,” Aaron continued.  “Do you have a nephew boy?”

George did a great job of not laughing although the twitch in his mouth spoke volumes to us.  

I know why Aaron called Ryker his nephew boy.  It’s because soon our daughter will have a baby girl and so we have told Aaron that this little girl will be his niece…that a boy is a nephew, and a girl is a niece.  So, for that conversation, Ryker was Aaron’s nephew boy.

Aaron has come to accept and enjoy Ryker in a way that mostly warms our hearts.  I say mostly because there are still occasions when Aaron will get jealous at something we’re saying or doing with Ryker.

“You don’t do that with ME!” Aaron will say in a huff. 

And one day Aaron, for whatever unknown reason, got upset about his position in life.

“I don’t want to be the uncle,” he angrily asserted.

“But Aaron,” I replied, “you’re the uncle because you’re Andrea’s brother.  You can’t change that.”

“Well,” he said, “she MADE me be the uncle.  She didn’t ASK me!”

We’ve learned it’s best at these times to mostly listen and not try to reason too much with Aaron.  He eventually settles down and before long will probably be asking when Ryker is coming over again.

Of course, at this point Ryker is unaware of any animus from his Uncle Aaron.  Ryker is still at that precious innocent age when he loves everyone…and that definitely includes his Uncle Aaron.  He finds Aaron to be very fascinating and fun.  

Aaron gives Ryker lots of snacks.

Aaron lets Ryker see his really cool toys and gadgets.

Aaron’s room is the BEST place in the house!  There’s a jellyfish lamp and all sorts of squishy balls and flashlights and a frog light with glowing eyes and oh, so much more!

What’s NOT to love about Uncle Aaron?

Aaron is equally fascinated as he watches Ryker learn and grow, respond to him and talk, and eat.  Definitely eat!

Aaron gets right down on the floor with Ryker and watches him with great interest.

Ryker claps his hands when Aaron claps or yells like his Uncle Aaron when Aaron is in his room and lets out one of his funny loud sounds.

Ryker will have so much to learn about his special Uncle Aaron as the years go by.  We know there will be ups and downs with all that process, on both sides.  

It really won’t be that much longer before Ryker outgrows Aaron on every level.  I thought about that after I took a picture of Ryker and Aaron in our car.  Ryker loves sitting in the driver’s seat, turning the steering wheel and punching all the buttons.  

And there sat Aaron, always in the passenger’s seat, having fun watching Ryker play like he was driving.  

Aaron will never be in the driver’s seat.  

But one day Ryker will be.  

 I thought about how some day Ryker will perhaps be driving Aaron to Dairy Queen for his favorite Choco Extreme Blizzard or to Walmart to scour the aisles for a special treat.  

And I pray that God will use Aaron to enrich Ryker in ways that can only happen with a special person like his Uncle Aaron in his life.  

Rocks or Popcorn

Aaron loves rocks that he thinks are unusual.  Outside his day group, along the curb, are landscape rocks.  They grow much easier than grass.  Unless you have an Aaron, who eyeballs the rocks every day in search of THE one…or more than one…that he will pocket on that day.  The rocks are slowly dwindling with Aaron around, no matter how many times we tell him that he should not take…aka steal…any rocks.

These rocks have value to Aaron.  Some he thinks are diamonds or crystals even though we tell him they are not diamonds or crystals.  We tell him they are just normal rocks that need to stay in their rock home.  Still, he gathers the rocks and lately has been putting them in a large storage bag.

Tomorrow my husband is having shoulder replacement surgery.  We have kept this low key in order not to worry Aaron.  Aaron would be more worried about how this big change in our normal day would affect him instead of Gary but still, worry is worry.  

Or so we thought.

Last night, Aaron went into Gary’s study and handed Gary his bag of special rocks.

“Here, Dad,” Aaron said as he handed Gary the bag.  “I want you to take these to the hospital.”

Gary was so touched.  And he responded with such wisdom.

“Well, Aaron,” he replied, “I might be confused because of the drugs and think those rocks are candy.  If I ate one, I could break a tooth.”

Aaron thought for a second, took back the bag of rocks, and went up to his room.

Soon, he came back down.  He found Gary in the garage and handed him instead his bag of cheese popcorn that he was saving.  

“Here,” Aaron said again.  “I want you to take THIS to the hospital.”

Aaron’s love language has always been giving things to others.  In this case, Aaron won’t verbalize that he is concerned for his dad.  He probably won’t tell Gary that he hopes the surgery goes well.  He many even get frustrated during Gary’s long recovery at home because of the effects it will have on him and what he expects from Gary.

But we have a bag of cheese popcorn that speaks volumes to us of how much Aaron really does care.

And that’s as valuable to us as…as…diamond rocks!

Aaron’s Talking Points #16

I save some of Aaron’s funny sayings and conversations so that I can share them.  After all, my blog is titled He Said WHAT?!  These are older ones.  He talks so much, and I can’t keep up with sharing like I should.  Enjoy!

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Our newly widowed little 88-year-old neighbor came over for supper tonight. Just as we started to eat, Aaron looked at Gary and said, “Hey Dad, is sex a bad word?” 

Nice, Aaron. Really nice.

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Gary was trimming some branches from a tree.  Aaron was sitting nearby and some of the sawdust fell on him.  A couple days later Aaron said, “Mom, remember when that tree dust fell on me?” 

For crying out loud, even my trees are dusty!!

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Aaron has been wanting a Nintendo Switch. We’ve told him that we’re NOT going out to buy a Nintendo Switch. It costs $300.00, for heaven’s sake! He and Barb looked it up on her computer today.

Aaron: MOM!! The Nintendo Switch is $299.00! That’s not even $300.00!!!

In Aaron’s world, this is a huge difference. But not in mine.

😅 😅 💸

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Aaron was trying to talk me into giving him more money tomorrow since he’s going to Wal-Mart with his group. I said no and told him that he ended up giving money away half the time and he doesn’t need more. He then walked over to Gary, who was sitting at the table, and quietly said, “Do you agree with that?”

Oh, Aaron! I guess he hoped he had one more shot!

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Aaron: There was no new MacGyver on last night. It was an award of Emmy!

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After his doctor appointment today, Aaron and I went to Cheddar’s for lunch.

“MOM!! Are they taking those fish out of that tank and fixing them for lunch?!” 😲😬😂

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Aaron’s had some seizures the past two nights. He woke up very hungry.

“Mom!! When I got out of bed, my stomach felt skinny!” 😃😃

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When Aaron finally realized this morning that his fate was sealed and he was going to Paradigm, he became inpatient to leave NOW. Watching me quickly slap on some makeup wasn’t making him happy.

“Mom!! Dad’s stuff he puts on is quicker than yours!!” 😃

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Nearly every night when Aaron is FINALLY in bed and we have completed his bedtime routine, he will invariably have one more thing he must talk about before he can go to sleep. Sometimes I make it two or three steps up the hall before he says, “MOM??” Or, as was the case last night, I was just closing his door when he thought of that one more piece of info he needed before he could sleep.

Aaron: MOM??

Me (sighing, which Aaron doesn’t notice or care about): What, Aaron?

Aaron: So first there’s 12 a.m. and then there’s 12 p.m.

Me (thinking in my tired head and not saying it out loud): REALLY??!!!!

Me (what I really said): Yes, there is.

Aaron: So, during the night it becomes morning.

Pause from Aaron as he waited for my response.

Pause from me as I hoped he was done, and I could leave.

No such luck.

Aaron: So, during the night it becomes morning.

Me (whose brain isn’t ready for this discussion after 9:00 p.m. Actually, not at 9:00 a.m. either): Yes, Aaron, it’s something like that.

Aaron: How come?

Me (leaning against the door frame now because of the dreaded HOW COME question!!!): It’s because…that’s just the way time is! Good night and sleep well and I’ll see you in the morning and I love you.

Oh my goodness!! I said the words “night” and “morning” – but he didn’t seem to notice as I walked quickly down the hall.

Where does he come up with this stuff at 10:30 P.M.???!!!!

🙃 🌙 🌞 😆

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When we travel, we take snacks and then try to just eat out once a day. Aaron thinks that no one on a trip should just eat out once a day.

Aaron: I need to use the bathroom.

Gary: Ok. We’ll look for a place.

Aaron: I was thinking of a bathroom in a restaurant.

Smooth move, Aaron! Hahaha!!

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Aaron’s doing great so far as we drive to Houston. He’s excited to see Andrea and the doggies. He’s VERY excited at the prospect of eating out. Earlier this morning:

Aaron: Will we eat out on the way there? I’m talking about at a restaurant.

We said yes.

Aaron: We will do it for lunch, right?

Gary: Maybe for supper, too.

Aaron: Like what time is supper?

We told him we don’t know.

Aaron: So we would do it for lunch and supper, Mom?

Yes, Aaron.

At 10:37:

Aaron: I’m getting hungry, Dad. But I’ll wait til 12:00.

Aaron does not leave his schedule behind when we travel. 😊

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Aaron and I passed a convertible, top down and a dog enjoying the ride with his owner. 

Aaron: “Mom, do you like those kind of cars where the lid comes off?” 😁

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Aaron loves to listen to music in the van while I drive him to meet his group. This morning as we headed to the van he said, “Mom, can you play that Sarah that sings about that love thing?” 

Yep, Aaron’s all about relationships.

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Aaron loves to talk about our wedding picture and comments about how young I was or how skinny I was. 

His latest: “Mom, in your wedding picture your hair was thin.” 

Good grief! Even my hair has gained weight?! I’m hiding that picture!!

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Tonight Aaron told me that the alley where his group bowled last week was near Hoots.  

“Hoots?,” I asked.  

“Yeah”, he said.  “You know, Hoots! That restaurant you won’t let me eat at.” 

Oh my goodness.  It was another bite-my-tongue and try-not-to-laugh moment!  

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Our normal evening routine was disrupted tonight by waiting until it was nearly dark to light some sparklers and throw down some Pop-Its and then visit with our neighbors. When we came inside, Aaron still wanted to watch a Blue Bloods episode – we just started season one. It was late, but I said OK.

We finished watching it. When it was over, Aaron looked immediately at his watch.

“Oh my!” he said. “It’s 10:49!”

It’s good to end this day with a laugh. Time for bed! 😀💙

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We started the last leg of our drive home this morning. One of the first things Aaron wanted to know was what time we would be home, so we told him it would be around 4:00.

At 3:09:

Aaron: When will we be home?

Me: In about an hour.

Aaron: No. You said 4:00.

Gary: What time is it?

Aaron: 3:09.

Gary: Then it’s about an hour.

Aaron: No. It’s 51 minutes.

🕓❤😀

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Aaron’s decided that he prefers boneless meat. Yesterday he came running in from his group and his first question was, “Mom, what are we having for supper?” I told him that we were having T-Bones. Without missing a beat he asked, “Are they boneless?!” 

You know, Dillons was all out of boneless T-BONES so I had to get T-BONES with bones! 

This time I did laugh.

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And I hope that you have enjoyed some smiles and laughs like we have with Aaron’s comments and antics.  

‘Til next time!