Category: Uncategorized

Don’t You Remember?

One of the many side effects of Aaron’s seizures and even of some of his seizure meds is memory loss.  It makes me sad to see it sometimes. 

Gary and I took Aaron out to eat the other day.  While eating, I got a text saying that his day group would be re-opening on Monday.  I was sharing with Aaron the names of some of his friends that he would get to see again.  At the mention of one of his friends, Aaron’s face was blank. 

I was surprised because just last week Aaron had facetimed with her.  Yet his forgetfulness was genuine just a short time later. 

As I get older (and older and older 😊), I find myself often saying, “Remember when…?”  Gary and I do this at times, remembering events and situations of the past, sometimes with joy and at other times with regret.

There is an incident recorded in the book of Numbers…the book I am now studying…that has impacted me this week and which I want to, well, remember. 

The children of Israel had traveled for a year in the wilderness.  In chapter 11, we find them complaining about their lack of good food.  They remembered all the variety of foods in Egypt, forgetting their horrible life they lived there as they ate that food.

They begged for meat, so God told Moses that He would give them meat.  Then Moses seemed to have memory loss as he questioned just how on earth God would be able to supply so much meat for so many people.

Are you kidding me?!

Moses had seen miracle after miracle, and he dared wonder how God could manage to find meat in the desert?

Actually, Moses asked God how he…Moses…was to get the meat.  Moses left God out of the picture.

Moses was run down, discouraged, tired, burdened. 

Pretty much like we feel today. 

Here we are, on the first day of a new year, trying to summon hope in the middle of our burdens.

2021 must be better than 2020, right?!

It HAS to be!!

We can’t handle anymore stress in our world and in our homes!

But I think that deep down we all know that we are entering this new year staring ahead at huge problems that still loom large. 

That’s why God’s answer to Moses is a HUGE promise to each of us who know and follow God.

“The Lord said to Moses, ‘Is the Lord’s power limited?  Now you shall see whether My word will come true for you or not.’  (Numbers 11:23)

Another version of what God said was this: “Is the Lord’s arm too short?”

That phrase brought to mind the fact that Pharaoh was said to be the possessor of a strong arm.  Yet God defeated Pharaoh with His much stronger arm.

Remember, Israel?

Remember all the plagues and the miracles?

Remember the exodus from Egypt?

Remember the parting of the Red Sea?

How could they forget?!

Yet I am no different.  How can I so often forget what God has done and what He has promised, to ME?

I have been challenged by others to have a word for this year.  And so my word is:

REMEMBER

Primarily, to remember just who God is and that His arm is strong and is long enough to carry me and help me and protect me.

To REMEMBER God’s past answers to prayer.

To REMEMBER His promises to me in His Word.

To REMEMBER Who He is, and how He never changes.

God’s arm is never shortened, and His power is never limited.

So may I…and all of us…remember.

This new year here in our neck of the woods has begun beautifully.

May I allow God’s beauty to permeate my heart every day in the uncertain times ahead as I…

REMEMBER!

The Nail Trim

Dad showed me such love in the simple deed of trimming my nails when I was young. Now it was my turn to show him the same love in the simple deed of doing the same for him in his weakened state.

Patty hesaidwhatks's avatarHe Said What?!

I remember climbing on my Daddy’s lap when I was a little girl.  He was sitting in his chair near the fireplace, with his shelves of books on one side and his end table on the other.  His newspaper was on the end table where he could eventually read it at the end of a busy, tiring day on the railroad.  His Bible was also laying there within easy reach.  He read his Bible often as he sat in his chair. He was always ready and willing to listen to my questions about what the Bible said about this and that, especially as I got older.

 
But when I was little and would climb on his lap, I remember the gentleness that he showed.  In the early years he smelled of pipe tobacco and smoke…..that subtle odor that comforted me.  I can still…

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Lessons From the Rooted Redbud

Patty hesaidwhatks's avatarHe Said What?!

We have three Redbud trees out in our back yard, standing alone in a little row.  Every spring they bloom beautifully and give us a lot of joy as we look at them from the house.  However, we began to notice over the past couple years that they were struggling.  They just weren’t as vibrant and full, especially the tree in the middle.  Finally, last year, we had to cut down that middle tree.   We felt it was just too far gone to have any hope of survival.

Weeks went by, and one day as I stood at our kitchen window, I noticed something between the two remaining Redbuds.  It looked like a clump of some sort.  Was it a pile of dead grass left from Gary’s mowing?  I soon forgot about it, but once again several days later I noticed…

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Aaron’s Talking Points #11

Here are more of Aaron’s sayings, collected over the years. Have fun reading!

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Aaron and I finished our Skip-Bo game. I reached out to get some cards that he was handing me.

Aaron: Your hands are skinny……

And all I heard was the word “skinny.” Something on me was identified as skinny??!!

Aaron (continuing): …..like an alien.

Hmmmmm.

I’ll take it!

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While talking about his group this morning, Aaron said, “Mom, a girl there likes me. I would put it as she doesn’t love me but she likes me.”

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Aaron drinks water or other beverages like he’s in a contest to see who can down his drink the fastest. He turns it up, chug-a-lugs, and down it goes. He even drinks his coffee that way, once it cools, which is a total travesty. We’re always telling him to slow down…savor each sip…taste each swallow.

Today I fixed him some hot tea that he wanted. He came downstairs later, cup empty, and gave me this report:

“Mom! I was not drinking all of it. I was just drinking PARTS of it!”

In other words, he SIPPED his tea! But as usual, his description is far more interesting than ours. 😁🥃☕🥛

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Oh, silly people who call this little round thing a coaster. Aaron told me the correct name last night.

This is a drink plate.

Got it?

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Aaron was telling me all about the chicken in the deli at Dillon’s.

“They have fried chicken. They have that chicken with no bones. And they have pop-tart chicken!”

Um, that would be popcorn chicken, Aaron. But with pop-tart chicken you could have breakfast and lunch in one!

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Aaron and I were talking about how some people do bad things, and that the color of a person’s skin doesn’t make them bad or not bad. He thought a minute and then said, “So not a person’s skin or their species makes them bad?”

Species? Let’s start over.

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Yesterday Aaron and I were listening to Zac Brown.

Zac Brown: …and if you say that I’m too late, I’ll curl up and die in misery.

Aaron laughed and laughed.

Me: Why are you laughing at that?

Aaron: He said he would curl up by Miss Ugly!!

I’m afraid I let this life lesson pass right by as we both dissolved in laughter. 🤪😂😂

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Aaron had a seizure last night. Just one, but is he ever wired this morning! He was out of bed very early and has talked pretty well nonstop. He considered playing a game on his computer, but I reminded him that this is not a good idea after having a seizure.

Me: Aaron, you know that playing a game might get your brain too riled up.

Aaron: So a game might make me wild up?

I didn’t tell Aaron, but I actually think it’s too late to stop that! 🤪♥️♥️

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In Wal-Mart today, Aaron’s eyes latched on to a display of colorful, adorable, stuffed pigs. He instantly latched on to the brightest one there. He had me when he said, “Can I own him?” 😃

Aaron may be our adult son, but sometimes he’s just still so cute and dear. ❤️

And he now owns a very bright pig!

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I was frustrated with Aaron today when I picked him up from his day group because he told me he had given some of his money away to a friend. We work and work to make him stop giving away his money, but still he sometimes does this.

So, I gave him the lecture.

Then I gave a big sigh.

Aaron: Mom, don’t fight and don’t breathe!

Well, I guess if I quit breathing then I would also quit fighting. 😜🤔

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Since Gary and I got home from Houston, and after all of Aaron’s weekend seizures, he’s been telling us that his legs are weak. Finally, yesterday, he got it figured out.

“Mom, I think those six seizures stiffed my legs!!”

I want to show I’m sorry about his legs, but it sure is hard not to laugh at his wonderful way with words.

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Aaron and I got home from eating lunch out (at last!!), and then running several errands. He was very compliant with staying near me while we were out, using hand sanitizer at the air base before we could enter, and only walking one way up and down the store aisles. 🙄

Soon after we were home, he wanted a piece of cake that we made the other day, so I told him to wash his hands. He finally showed his frustration.

“Is that a government law??” he asked with disdain.

I assured him it was Mom’s law and he REALLY better obey that one!! 😂😂

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Andrea got me some beautiful roses and there are some ferns mixed in. Aaron saw pieces of the ferns that had fallen on the table and asked what they were. “Mom, I thought your hair was shredding on the table.” I hope not. I have enough hair problems without adding shredded hair to the list!

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Aaron: “So are you getting something special since it’s your Mother’s Day?”

I walked over to him, put my arm around him and said, “Well, a hug is special.”

Aaron: “I was talking about food!!”

Ah, if Mom gets special food then Aaron might get special food. Smart boy!

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Gary took Aaron out today, and when they came home, in walked Aaron with his arms full of candy and cookies and a really fun card for me.

Aaron: Here, Mom! These are for you.

Me: Wow, Aaron! Thank you so much!!

Then I decided to tease him a little.

Me: So, do I have to share these with you?

Aaron: No. I don’t like any of them.

And off he walked.

Never underestimate Aaron’s honesty and clarity. 😀😀

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‘Til next time! And trust me, there WILL be a next time! 🙂

Life is Like a Coupon Box

Patty hesaidwhatks's avatarHe Said What?!

I walked into the kitchen on a recent Sunday, after Aaron had completed his usual Sunday coupon clipping chore.  There on the counter lay a Dillon’s coupon, one that I had put into my coupon box several days earlier.  I knew right away what this lone coupon on the counter meant.  It spoke volumes to me as it silently stared up at me…..volumes about our Aaron.

You see, this coupon…

 WP_20171008_15_02_35_Pro

Does NOT belong among these coupons.

 WP_20171008_15_03_30_Pro

The Dillon’s coupon is not a regular coupon to Aaron, and only regular Sunday coupons are to be placed…precisely…in the coupon box.

Silly mom for thinking otherwise.

Aaron’s life is like that coupon box.

Aaron wants most things in his world to be done in a certain order…..words said in a particular way…with order and sequence and expected results.  But life doesn’t operate that way, no matter how much Aaron tries to…

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Wilted

God loves us throughout each day and even gives us a song during the awful dark hours of the long nights.

Patty hesaidwhatks's avatarHe Said What?!

I have some container plants on our front porch.  They need routine watering, of course, but definitely need plenty of water during our very hot Kansas summer.  A few weeks ago, I was guilty of neglecting those plants for longer than I should have.  You know how it is.  I just got busy with many other things.  I would remember the plants and tell myself I needed to check on them, but then once again I would forget to do so in the midst of running here and there.

I had noticed my pretty Impatiens in the corner drooping a little one day, so I gave myself a mental note to water the plants that evening.  But I yet again got distracted and didn’t water them like I promised myself I would do.

When I finally went to check on the plants some time later, I was sad to see…

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God’s Work of Art

Patty hesaidwhatks's avatarHe Said What?!

I love how Gary stops to enjoy the world around him.  Sometimes I may not quite agree with it, like when he found a huge Orb Weaving Spider on the back of our patio chair recently and instead of killing it, he placed it gingerly in our flower bed.  You who know my fear of spiders will also know that I am now avoiding that flower bed, or am stalking around it carefully like an NCIS agent at a crime scene. 

I wasn’t at all surprised this past Sunday afternoon to walk out in our garage and find a Cicada, a poor dead Cicada, laying on Gary’s work bench.  I knew that Gary had placed it there for me and for Aaron to see.  I didn’t even have to ask.  I paused to look at it, which prompted Gary to tell me about the Praying Mantis he had rescued from…

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The Surprise

We each have our own situations that God has put, just so, in our lives. As we stand and look at whatever that is, we must choose whether to accept God’s placement in our garden or to spend our life hating it.

Patty hesaidwhatks's avatarHe Said What?!

I was walking through our vegetable garden one day in early summer, looking at the pretty little plants growing so nicely where Gary and I had placed them.  There was the summer squash on the front row, along with some zucchini.  The tomatoes were already inside their tomato cages that Gary had put up, and behind them were our okra plants.  Cucumbers were on the side of the garden near the tall oak tree.  We have a simple garden this year, not as full as it sometimes is, but enough for us and hopefully some to share with others.

Everything was where it should be, growing as we had hoped at this point, with no visible bugs or other problems that I could see. Weeds hadn’t started taking over yet, either, so I felt content as I turned to leave the garden.

But wait.  What was this?

I stopped between…

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Waiting On…?

Aaron is a very impatient “waiter.”  Not a “waiter” as in serving us but waiting as in wanting me to do something…NOW!  We often see this attitude in the evenings. That’s because every evening he and I watch a show.  Lately, it’s Little House on the Prairie.  Anyway, here is how the evening may very well go:

Aaron:  Mom, what time are we watching Little House on the Prairie?

Me:  Let’s watch it at 8:45.

Aaron:  8:45?

Me:  Yes.

Aaron:  OK!

But before long he will more than likely come back downstairs to find me.

Aaron:  Mom, let’s just watch it now!

Me:  No.  We’ll watch it at 8:45.

Aaron:  WHY??!!

Me:  Because I have some things to do and 8:45 is a good time for us to watch it.

Aaron:  But I want to watch it NOW!!

Sometimes Aaron can be appeased and convinced that 8:45 will come before he knows it.  Other times, however, he becomes frustrated and angry.  The waiting game is anything BUT a game at that point, for either of us. 

Sigh.

When we do sit down to the opening music of our program, Aaron is content.  He has his snacks beside him, his blanket over him, and all is well.  But it’s only well because he was waiting on an event that finally happened.

How I wish that he would transfer his waiting focus on me.  I wish he would trust ME to do what I said I would do and then rest in that fact instead of resting on actually beginning his show, with his snacks and his routine in place.

In my spiritual life, this is a lesson I am forever needing to refine. 

I find myself waiting on a “what” instead of waiting on “Who.”

Waiting on some prayed-for event instead of waiting on the One Who will bring the events in my life to pass as He sees best.

Do you ever pray for something to the point that the “something” you’re praying for becomes your focus?  I sure do. 

And that “something” is probably a very good thing.  But here’s the thing…I don’t know God’s mind about my “something” so I need to stop focusing on the event…the request…and focus instead on the One to Whom I am asking to fulfill that event.

Last night my focus became blurry, so I got out of bed and went quietly into the bedroom where I have my quiet-time desk. 

The word “wait” was on my mind.  I ended up in Psalm 25:4-5:

“Make me know Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths.  Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day.”

God’s ways and His paths in this verse actually refer to God’s providence and to how God operates…how He deals with His people.  God doesn’t just want us to know His commands and requirements, but He wants us to know HIM. 

Dale Davis points out in his book In the Presence of My Enemies that God wants us to know more than His demands of us.  God wants us to know how He deals with us. 

And how does God deal with us, His children?  He leads us in His truth, which is better translated “in your faithfulness.” 

“So he seems to be praying that Yahweh will teach him how He is working in his case (v. 4) and to let him experience His faithfulness (v.5) as he goes on.”  (Davis)

Another nugget?  The Hebrew word for “wait” carries with it the idea of being entwined.  As I thought about this, I imagined myself knowing and trusting God so much that I, in a sense, am entwined with Him.  I am so wrapped up in God’s kind character and in His love that I rest in Him, not in my desires being fulfilled. 

The end of that passage says, “…for You I wait all the day.” 

Yes, our petitions are important.  Yes, God wants us to ask things of Him. 

But he also so often wants us to wait…patiently…while He works and while He shows us in that working His faithfulness and His love. 

God wants us to get to know Him better and in that knowing, to trust Him more.

May I not base my happiness on things to be as I want them to be.   

May I not wait for the event to occur before I am satisfied.    

May I instead wait on God..focus on God…and in that waiting, learn to trust Him and enjoy HIM more than the thing for which I am praying.