Thankfulness – He Said What?!

Big News and A Fun Fall

Time for another update! First, the big news…news that some of you know and some don’t, so I get the joy of sharing it again.

Our daughter, Andrea, came over one day with a gift bag for us. I was puzzled as I took out this framed picture.

Puzzlement turned to pure joy as we realized what it meant. As Aaron says, “We’re going to have another baby!!” We’re so happy and so thankful for God’s great blessing.

Then several weeks later, another surprise. We were given a pumpkin and inside…well, see for yourself.

Now Aaron tells everyone, “We’re having another baby. My sister is having a GIRL!! I’m scared to have a GIRL!!” 🙂

We’ve been having a beautiful fall. We got to introduce Ryker to the fun of jumping in leaves.

Then Aaron wanted to lead us on a walk around our neighborhood pond. It was really a precious time of Ryker happily following Aaron, and Aaron turning around to keep an eye on Ryker.

Ryker now says Aaron’s name fully and clearly. He absolutely loves his fun Uncle Aaron. And Aaron is responding with more interactions and smiles. We do not take this for granted. All of us are so very happy and thankful for the loving progress that has been made.

Another very fun event was taking Ryker trick-or-treating in our neighborhood. We didn’t know if he would wear his outfit, but he did, and he loved every minute of it. Of course, this Gramoo was smiling from ear to ear at our adorable little cow!

But another precious part of the evening was that Aaron really wanted to go along. He wore his Pharaoh costume from two years ago and was as eager as a young child.

I wondered if anyone would question it when they saw a bearded, balding man at their door. Thankfully, everyone was kind as could be and Aaron had so much fun. He and Ryker going trick-or-treating together was just another very sweet time.

Aaron turned 40 this month! He doesn’t see the significance of that at all. It’s neat that age doesn’t mean a thing to him. He doesn’t focus on the fact that he’s the oldest in our family and he doesn’t compare himself to his siblings in the sense of life events or accomplishments. That’s a real blessing indeed.

I have mentioned thankfulness in this blog several times. We truly are thankful for every blessing, for every step of progress with Aaron, and even for the steps backward that are an inevitable part of Aaron’s life.

We are forever grateful for the love of family and for the joy of time together. Thankful, too, for friends like many of you who love and pray for us.

And for the certainty that God will guide us in each day and year ahead.

Aaron is Still…….

Time slips so quickly away from me. I feel the frustration of having more to do than I have hours in the day. Blogging regularly is one of the things that continually gets pushed onto the back burner of my life.

Speaking of back burners, our kitchen is nearly finished. We’ve been fully using it for several weeks now. I love it! Our second new refrigerator was delivered a week ago. Our first new fridge didn’t work for even one second and it was an ordeal getting the company to approve and deliver a new one. Just another first world problem. Our refrigerator in the garage filled the need. All our furniture is in the family room and other rooms. We slowly are settling in and are very thankful for Luke’s diligence during a difficult process due to supply issues and being short staffed. We have no complaints. I will show pictures when the kitchen is totally done. Did I say we LOVE it?!

So many times, as we live life with Aaron, I find myself saying, “Oh, I want to share this!” Yet this life with Aaron is one reason that I DON’T get to share all that I want. He does keep me very busy. So, let me just give a quick update and maybe more expounding will come later…but don’t hold your breath too long.

Aaron is still an adventure sitting across the table when we eat out.

Or when we go shopping.

He is still trying to get Moe, our neighbor’s cat, out from under Gary’s truck.

He is still talking to our neighbors EVERY chance he gets…and we are still so thankful for very patient and understanding neighbors who are true friends. Gina sent me this picture and said, “I took this the other night when he was telling us all about life!” Derek has the same look on his face that we often do! 😊 😊

He is still popping over to Amanda and Colby’s house, where she put him to work one recent night making Kool-Aid.

He is still melting our hearts with his sweet relationship with Mollie.

He is still sharing things with everybody, like making sure we took this new pack of gum to Andrew a couple weeks ago when we spent time with him at a race.

He shares this life of his with me and Gary every single day.

What Aaron shares is funny and fascinating and sometimes very frustrating.

Gary and I often laugh and always listen to his abundant talking.

But the frustrating parts of Aaron…well, we still know that we need to handle that with the same grace that God extends to us…every single day.

Easier said than done…and the subject of another blog…maybe…when life settles down.

Did I say don’t hold your breath? 😊

Set It Aside

One morning shortly before Christmas, Gary and I sat down to eat breakfast with Aaron. We were enjoying our eggs, sausage, and biscuits while listening to Aaron talk…always Aaron is talking!

Aaron pushed back his chair and got up to get something from the kitchen – probably more napkins or silverware since one napkin and one set of silverware is never adequate in Aaron’s book. I looked up then to see that Aaron had put his biscuit off his plate. He had set it aside in order to keep his plate from being crowded and to keep the food from touching.

We just left it there, choosing not to make that action an issue on this pleasant morning. Aaron has his particular ways. And Gary and I have learned to choose our battles carefully because disrupting Aaron’s ways can leave a trail of anger and frustration for all of us…and many times, it’s just not worth it.

Such is our life with autism, this matter of what to set aside and what to put back on the plate.

I had a full plate of Aaron issues last week. We had unaccounted money gone from Aaron’s wallet, which means he probably gave some away at his day group. He knows better, but he has a very hard time resisting the urge to share his money with his friends. Therefore, he has become quite adept at not telling the truth, which was another issue we had to handle with Aaron.

Aaron became so frustrated that on Wednesday, he erupted in anger and tears at his day group. He called me on the phone several times…he threw his shoe and his glasses…he yelled…and all in all was just extremely unhappy.

His coat also got torn on both sides. Aaron said that was done in fun as he and another client chased each other. Either way, Wednesday was a rough day in more ways than one.

On Friday night, shortly after midnight, Aaron had the first of four seizures…the last one being at 6:40 Saturday morning. I was fixing his favorite salad that morning, hoping he could enjoy it for supper as I hauled his wet bedding down the stairs and then helped him get settled on the couch for more sleep…and hopefully no more seizures.

Bless his heart. He can’t help his behaviors any more than he can help his seizures. Yet while his seizures touch my heart, sometimes his behaviors do quite the opposite.

I thought about his biscuit as I was processing all that happened last week. What do I set aside, and what do I keep on my plate?

I need to set aside resentment and anger, which is not always easily done. Living full time with Aaron can take a toll on me and on Gary. But God has led us to this life, and we know that He will keep us where we need to be if we just focus our eyes on Him and not on our circumstances.

I must set aside selfishness. Mending Aaron’s coat…taking him to have his bent glasses adjusted…washing his bedding and clothes…listening to his explanations over and over and over… All these are actions that take my time and energy. As any caregiver knows…as any parent knows…selfishness and service do not mix. One must go off the plate.

Fear is another thing that needs to go. Aaron’s seizures make my heart leap with fright for an instant. I don’t think one ever gets used to them. His future, too, can cause my heart to fear. But again, I know that this path we walk is not alone. God is with us each step and He has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.

Now what do I keep on my plate? I keep the reminder of God’s great faithfulness. I keep His Word in my heart. I am mindful of His grace for each day and each moment.

I keep humor nearby, always. A cheerful heart is the best medicine, like God said, for me and for Aaron, even when Aaron gives me a blank look when I think I’m very funny. 😊

I also count my blessings! My plate overflows with blessings if I but look around me. For instance, on Saturday I was very thankful for the blessing of a washer and dryer instead of a bucket and a clothesline. Thankful for a warm house, food to eat and to fix for Aaron, and thankful that Aaron could eat some bacon and eggs later that morning. And Aaron, who loves using multiple napkins, decided that the grease on his fingers could not wait for his napkin. His eyes shot over to me as he wondered if I saw what he just did.

“I was wiping a grease of bacon on my pants,” he seriously informed me.”

There’s the humor!! 😊

Thankfulness, too, for Aaron’s amazing way with words. After all, that’s a big reason I started writing this blog and named it He Said WHAT?!

And there is yet another blessing! All my readers mean more to me than I can express.

See how it goes? My plate is filling up with good stuff, none of which I want to set aside.

Time to taste and see that the Lord is good!

Thanksgiving!

I want to wish each of you a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving!

We made it to Houston!

I just wanted to share with you a picture of Aaron with his sister, Andrea. Aaron colored that picture in his day group and was very happy to give it to Andrea.

I wish you all a very blessed day in whatever form it takes.

May we all remember to count our blessings and keep our minds on the Giver of them all.

AARON’S Mother’s Day

The above title is not a mistake. You see, every special day for Aaron has one bottom line. That bottom line, simply put, is food. Aaron knows that special days usually call for special food. To Aaron, special food is what makes the world go round. Forget all that love stuff. It’s FOOD, baby!!

This memory from 10 years ago popped up on my Facebook news feed recently:

Aaron: “So are you getting something special since it’s your Mother’s Day?” I walked over to him, put my arm around him and said, “Well, a hug is special.” Aaron: “I was talking about food!!” Ah, if Mom gets special food then Aaron might get special food. Smart boy!

This past Saturday, while I was planting my porch flowers in various pots, Gary took Aaron out to buy me a Mother’s Day card and flowers. Aaron walked up on the front porch when they got home and awkwardly thrust the flowers out for me to take. He immediately turned to walk away, hoping to avoid the hug that he knew was coming. But before he got very far, he turned and said these priceless words: “Mom, now that I got you flowers, can we get something special to eat?!”

HaHaHaHaHa!!!!

He enjoyed watching me put the flowers in a vase.

He was happy when I finished the porch flowers.

He was VERY happy when he hopped in the truck with me and Gary as we went to Lowe’s. A shopping trip might…just might…mean a stop for special food.

So he was beyond happy when he heard the words “Burger King” come out of our mouths. Yay!! Later, as we sat around our table and ate our simple but special food, Aaron was enjoying every bite.

Mission accomplished!!

The next day, Aaron ran into the bathroom as I finished drying my hair. He told me to hurry because he had something for me. I didn’t hurry fast enough, however, and Aaron couldn’t contain his excitement.

“Mom!! I got you a card!! Hurry!!”

No matter how many times I tell him not to divulge the secret, Aaron cannot keep secrets very well when it comes to the gifts he gives.

With unfixed hair, we ran downstairs to where Gary sat. Aaron grabbed the card from Gary’s hand and happily handed it to me.

I opened it, and my laughter delighted Aaron no end!

Later that evening, we feasted on great food – grilled ribs and yummy sides.

And I was once again reminded that, despite the issues we sometimes face with Aaron, he provides us with many special moments.

Happy Mother’s Day to me, from Aaron!

Every day, if I take the time to look.

Joy and Crescent Rolls

My phone rang yesterday while I was working in the kitchen. Of course, it was Aaron making one of his several calls from his day group…calls in which he updates me on his doings, reports good times or bad times with friends there, asks me when I’m coming to pick him up, and stresses that he wants me to come EARLY!!

Since this day was Friday, and since Friday is the day we usually have a special meal of Aaron’s choosing, this phone call greatly concerned food. He also wanted to know if we were going on our Friday Wal-Mart trip to buy him his “end-of-week and beginning-of-weekend” snacks.

“MOM!!” he began. “Are we going to Wal-Mart after you pick me up?!”

I assured him that we were.

“MOM!!” he continued. “Can I get some Pillsbury Crescent Rolls to have for our supper?”

I assured him that we could.

“MOM!!” he added. “Not the kind in the box but the kind that you bake in the oven. Pillsbury Crescent Rolls!”

I assured him I understood.

And then he chuckled…his deep-throated chuckle of pure delight.

Pillsbury Crescent Rolls filled him with the greatest joy at that moment, a contagious joy that was passed on to me as I joined him with a laugh of my own.

One thing about Aaron that continues to teach me so much about handling life is his joy in the simplest of things…things that I often take for granted.

I typically don’t play Christmas music until after Thanksgiving, but for the past few years I have caved somewhat on that standard. Two days ago, while cooking supper, I turned Pandora to a Christmas station. Music has always, from my childhood, been a huge part of my life. I listened as I prepared our meal, waiting for that illusive “Christmas spirit” to wash over me.

Instead, though, I was soon brushing away tears. Silent Night was playing, and that song above all Christmas songs, reminds me of times past and of my parents and of how I miss them and of so many other memories. Sweet memories, but memories now…people and events of the past, not the present.

And the present…the now…is where I wish they still were.

This Thanksgiving and Christmas season, above all other seasons…with its music and traditions and memories…is so very full of emotion and expectations.

Expectations that often don’t materialize and so leave us with sadness.

In November of 2004, my parents called with the unexpected news that dad’s cancer was no longer in remission. Doctors had found inoperable cancer in his liver. All our close family was devastated at this news. Gary and I decided to quickly change our Christmas plans that year. We loaded up our van the next month just before Christmas and traveled the long distance home to West Virginia. All of us wondered if this would be Dad’s last Christmas.

This long, sad trip was very hard for Aaron in all the ways that change and travel have always been hard for Aaron. The most stressful aspect for Aaron, though…for all of us…was the raw emotion that we couldn’t hide. Aaron doesn’t like crying and on this visit we couldn’t successfully hide all our tears from him. The early morning that we left Mom and Dad’s to return to Kansas, we all stood in a circle as we held hands and prayed. And we all cried.

Except for Aaron, who sat off to the side rocking in a recliner and saying over and over, “Crybabies!! Crybabies!! Crybabies!!”

To borrow an Aaron phrase, it was half sad and half funny!

Yet a very sweet moment with Aaron happened during that trip. As Mom and Dad opened their Christmas presents, they unwrapped a framed poem of sorts that someone had given them. Aaron saw it and he held it carefully as he began to read. We all sat still and listened to him read every word in his monotone voice. It was good that he was looking down and didn’t see my parent’s tears, and ours as well.

I have this precious piece now and was looking at it the other day as I did some sorting. I thought of it as I listened to Silent Night and my heart filled with emotions about what used to be and what isn’t now.

I know that I have a choice to make. I also know what God has told me to do.

“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (I Thessalonians 5:18)

As the poem said, happiness is all around us. I like to substitute the more meaningful word “joy” for happiness, for joy is a fruit of the Spirit in my life and is possible no matter my circumstances. But whichever word you use, know truly that there is joy and happiness all around us, every day, in sometimes the smallest of ways. Yet small things are huge when we look at them through the lens of thankfulness.

Over the years, life changes…a lot…but joy with a thankful heart should be a constant for us.

Aaron has seizures, but we are thankful for good doctors:

Thankful for yummy and very cheesy chicken enchiladas:

Thankful for God’s amazing creatures in our own yard:

And thankful for Pillsbury Crescent Rolls!

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Hey, It’s My Birthday!!

We just finished celebrating Aaron’s 35^th birthday. We had three days of birthday events, full of fun and loaded with Aaron’s exuberance. There aren’t many 35 year old’s who would embrace their birthday with as much joy and pure excitement as Aaron did. His birthday is one of those times that we fully see how unencumbered Aaron is with adult responsibilities and burdens. 35 doesn’t seem old or worrisome to him at all. He’s all about HIS day and all the fun it holds! He’s very much like a kid, and everyone around him smiles at his delight.

Aaron begins planning his birthday months before the actual date. I’m not exaggerating. He talks and talks about his plans. Can we go here? Can we do that? And often, he doesn’t ask us before he starts inviting people to come to our house or to eat out. It’s easy to be exhausted long before the birthday celebration even occurs as we try to keep up with him and his grand plans.

His birthday was this past Friday. On Thursday, he stayed home from his day group. He helped me make lots of cupcakes for his day group to share the next day.

We also made lasagna for some of his friends to have on Thursday night. We loaded up the van with lasagna, garlic bread, cupcakes and drinks before driving across town to the residential home of some of his day group friends. All girls, by the way! 😊

On Friday, Aaron carried his cupcakes into his day group…chocolate cupcakes with chocolate icing and sprinkles, per Aaron’s wishes. At the end of his day, Barb…dear friend, second mom, and Paradigm manager…brought Aaron to meet Gary and me at Texas Roadhouse for his birthday “eating out” supper – Aaron’s choice once again, of course!

Oh my goodness, his excitement was almost palpable! He could hardly stop laughing and talking, and rubbing his hands together, in complete happiness.

“It’s my birthday today!!” he immediately told our server. “Can you sing to me?!”

Our sweet server laughed as well and said of course. She mentioned the saddle, which we had to explain to Aaron, and which he agreed to our surprise to do…but later he backed out on that saddle business. He wanted the largest sirloin, but we insisted on the next size down. He barely quit talking and eating. He was large and loud and very, very happy!

His gift bags from Barb, and from Casady – Barb’s daughter and another very good friend – were perfect for Aaron because they know him so well. And they love him, which he fully knows.

At home later, he opened more gifts and he talked to family…and he loved the shark cuddle blanket from Andrea and Kyle!

Then on Sunday evening, we met his special friend Rosa for their traditional birthday dinner at Chili’s. Again, Aaron announced his birthday to our server and asked if they would sing to him and bring him ice cream with chocolate syrup. Look at Aaron’s happy face when after dinner several of the staff sang and clapped and made Aaron’s final birthday celebration complete.

Rosa ran to their car as we left, bringing out her doll head that she loves so much, while Louise and I laughed and laughed. We love Aaron and Rosa’s friendship!

My heart was warmed later when Louise told me about how she and Rosa were looking at calendars to buy for Aaron. Aaron loves animal calendars, so Rosa eyed each of the three that Louise showed her. Rosa instantly chose the buddy calendar that shows dog and cat buddies for each month. Isn’t that so sweet?

I’m very thankful for each of Aaron’s friends and family that love him. Every text, Facebook message, phone call, and gift to Aaron was also a very deep gift to me, as well. I loved seeing Aaron so happy, and I love seeing Aaron BE loved by so many precious people in his life.

Sometimes it’s easy to feel alone when you raise a child with special needs, especially when they are fully adults yet, as in Aaron’s case, still so fully dependent on the help he needs from the family and staff that surround him.

Easy to look at others who are Aaron’s age, or much younger, who are finishing school and getting jobs and raising a family.

Those thoughts for me are fleeting, though, because I know the danger they carry. Aaron is Aaron, created by God, and my responsibility is to love and care for him – not to regret that he isn’t someone else.

Barb’s daughter, Casady, a kind soul who loves Aaron to pieces, wrote this in Aaron’s card:

“Happy birthday, buddy! Thanks for making me see all the sides of life. Love you so much.”

Those words seem to just go over Aaron’s head, but not mine. Her words go straight to my heart and come out from my eyes in tears that I don’t let Aaron see…or he would call me a crybaby.

But oh, life really is so much more than our routine and our version of “normal.” Trust me, Aaron shows us sides of life that we never even thought of! And other sides that we would like to forget!

Yet Aaron also shows us how much fun it is to relish routine and special days and music and warm blankets and coffee and cows and horses and bugs and steak and movies and shopping and dogs and cats and milkshakes and sharing and pennies he finds on the ground.

I sometimes stop and look at Aaron when he’s doing an Aaron thing, and my heart swells ‘til it almost hurts. He is so unique, complicated, hilarious, maddening, and upsetting. All the sides of Aaron are also the sides that all of us have, but Aaron doesn’t often have the ability to hide them like we can. They’re out there for all to see…and to hear!

And this morning, I heard a seizure a little after 5:00, and another just before 8:00. Then one that he’s only had once before, back in April – long and strange and scary. This is the side of Aaron’s life I dislike the most, but it’s a side we must handle and manage as best we can. I handle it by being thankful in the many ways that God brings to my mind, and by knowing as well that God is there for us and for Aaron with His sovereign protection and grace.

The sides of Aaron’s life…the good, the bad, and the sad…are all wrapped up like a birthday gift that God gave to us the day that Aaron was born. It’s up to us to relish all of who Aaron is, even the hard sides of Aaron; to thank God for our special gift; and to care for him in all the ways he needs.

Every side of Aaron…every day.

Hey, it was Aaron’s birthday!!

And I’m happy about that!!

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A Sweet Touch from God

Aaron saw the commercial for Pumpkins at the Park, and soon after he was telling Gary and me all about it. I had already seen posts about the event on Facebook and had told Gary that we should take Aaron, so with Aaron’s excitement already abounding I knew it was a match made in heaven. Tickets were ordered and plans were made to drive the mere mile and a half up the road to Tanganyika Wildlife Park on the following Saturday night to experience some pumpkin Halloween fun.

Aaron, who must plan multiple details before any occasion that he will attend, began to ask questions and to get his mind organized for our fun night. His list included:

Will I need a coat?
Will I need gloves?
Will I need a hat?
Will there be lots of people there?
Will there be food to eat?
Will the animals be out?
What time will we leave?
What time will we get home?
Do we have tickets?
Where are the tickets?
Mom, why are you sighing?

I answered all but the last question…multiple times. Which is why I was sighing, but Aaron doesn’t know that. It wouldn’t matter if he did. He just knows Mom’s weird that way and by the way, “Will I need a coat?”

Sigh.

But this is Aaron, and we totally expect the repetitive questions and ultra-planning. His comfort level depends on it, and trust me, we want his comfort level to be high…especially since our comfort level is so closely tied to his. Like, totally tied to his. COMPLETELY TIED!!

OK. Moving on.

As Gary and I climbed into bed on Friday night, the monitor beside us on my nightstand turned on to listen for Aaron, I told Gary that I sure hoped Aaron wouldn’t have a seizure during the night. You see, a nighttime seizure nearly always means a daytime seizure or more the following day. I didn’t want Aaron’s much anticipated Pumpkins at the Park to be ruined.

Wouldn’t you know that at 11:58 I heard a seizure. My heart dropped more than it usually does. Why on this night of all nights must he have a seizure? I was so sad for Aaron as I went to help him, and then returned to my own bed when the seizure was over, and Aaron was safe.

Surprisingly, there were no more seizures that night. But in the morning, Aaron’s eyes and actions showed that he was still feeling the effects of just that one seizure. I feared more would certainly come. He couldn’t even stay awake for his coffee, and later slept on the couch for awhile.

Still, no seizure.

When he napped in his bed later that afternoon, I thought for sure he would have one because that is what’s typical. I listened closely as I carried the monitor with me around the house.

And still, no seizure.

All day long, as we worked outside and as Aaron hung out with our little neighbor’s boys next door, no seizures.

And that evening, there we were at Pumpkins at the Park.

Aaron was totally ecstatic, and that’s no exaggeration. He didn’t stop smiling the entire evening.

We went from this:

To this:

Look at his smile!! Isn’t that just awesome?!

He loved every single part of the park that evening. The scary:

The spooky:

And the sweetness:

Speaking of sweet, I especially love this sweet picture of Gary and Aaron walking on the path.

And I love the sweet touch from God we all felt on that day. It was sweet to spend that time together and not have it ruined by seizures.

Sweet to have this special memory tucked away in our hearts.

Thank you, God, for such a sweet touch from You!

Salads and Seizures

Aaron walked into the kitchen on Saturday morning a little over two weeks ago – March 2nd, to be precise – and saw that I was boiling some eggs. Ever hopeful that whatever I am cooking will be something he likes and something I am making for him, he stopped and watched for a few seconds.

“Mom, what are you making?” he asked.

I told him that I was making his favorite salad. He stared blankly, as if he was utterly clueless about this favorite salad.

“You know, Aaron,” I continued. “The salad you love so much.”

“The salad with Ranch?” he questioned.

“No,” I told him. “You know, the salad with the eggs on top.”

Still blank.

“And the cheese and the bacon,” I explained.

“Oh yeah!” he finally said.

But he still gave no name to this mystery salad which really is his favorite salad! Aaron has such a hard time with names of people and pets and, amazingly enough, food!

“You call it Egg Salad, Aaron,” I told him. “But the real name is Seven Layer Salad.”

I knew he wouldn’t remember the name, but he knew it for now. It was fun to watch his happy reaction to the thought of this salad for supper…whatever it’s called!

We were looking forward to our day and our weekend. The day before, on Friday, Aaron had two seizures, and so he wasn’t able to go to his day group. He missed movie day, which always makes me sad. Thankfully, though, Aaron loves staying home and showed no regret at all.

On Friday evening, we all went to Wal-Mart to get Aaron’s weekend treats as well as some fun food for the weekend. We were expecting a strong winter storm to hit on Saturday evening and into Sunday, so there was excitement mixed in with our fun. We are snow lovers! I had especially waited until Gary was home from work so he could go with us, just in case Aaron had a seizure in Wal-Mart. We have learned that when Aaron has one or two seizures, he might have a drop seizure. These seizures, drop seizures, are so dangerous and unpredictable. This past year has seen Aaron have some serious injuries from falling. Thankfully, our shopping trip was uneventful and was fun for all of us, Aaron especially.

There were no more seizures during that night. Aaron was happy as could be to think of his free day ahead…the anticipated snow…making chocolate chip cookies with me…steak for supper…AND his special salad!! Whatever it’s called! 😊

Later that morning, before noon, Aaron was downstairs in Gary’s study. Aaron was talking up a storm of his own with Gary, as usual. I was in the kitchen, out of sight of the stairs. Suddenly I heard a terrible crash…and then the noise that I definitely recognized. A seizure!!

Gary was beside Aaron in an instant. As I started down the stairs, Gary told me to get towels. I was panicked and in tears as I ran for towels, hurrying them down to Gary. There was blood all over Gary’s hands. I knew this was serious.

As he started up the stairs, Aaron had fallen backward into a file cabinet, hitting the bottom metal handle with his head and actually bending it. Aaron is usually not conscious for a period of time after a seizure, sleeping soundly, but not on this day. He woke up, maybe because we were holding him and applying pressure to the gash on his head. Or perhaps he awakened because of the pain. He was combative and scared, something we’ve never seen. He was fighting us, trying to get away and go up the stairs as we held him tightly.

Finally, Aaron calmed down. He wanted to know why Gary’s hands were bloody, which of course was scary. We explained what happened and told him we would need to take him to the ER. Soon we were in the van, me sitting in the back with Aaron while Gary drove. Aaron was coherent then. The bleeding had stopped, but not his pain, of course. Yet he was remarkably calm and understanding, a trait he often displays in these frightening times. A gift from God, I’m sure.

I thought of other gifts from God as Gary drove. We talked about how thankful we were that the sun was shining and there was no snow yet. I was VERY thankful that it was a Saturday and Gary was home. And we were thankful still that there is a good hospital and emergency room out here in the country not far from our house.

We continued to be grateful that Aaron was seen immediately and that the CAT Scan showed no damage to his head or neck. Aaron was so compliant during the scan, even though it hurt his head and the bleeding began again, worse than ever.

But oh, how my heart hurt for our son! I couldn’t let him know that. Gary and I stayed strong for Aaron and for each other. I really wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, but God gave so much grace to be fully there for Aaron.

And there was Aaron, fully talking up a storm about nuclear bombs, of all things! Talk, talk, talk he did in his typical Aaron fashion. He knows a captive audience when he sees one, let me tell you!!

God gave special strength to Aaron, especially, as he endured 8 staples being put in his head. I knelt by his side, stroking his arm and face and talking to him during the ordeal. With each staple, he would flinch…eyes closed…and mutter a soft “ow.” I felt like my heart was being pierced each time.

I tell you, our children with medical issues…and I know a lot!…are true heroes. They endure more pain IN their lives, and disruption OF their lives, than I can fathom. And yet they just keep on going. One of our sweetest blessings is that Aaron doesn’t feel sorry for himself or complain about his lot. He LOVES to talk about what happens to anyone who will listen, trust me, and even to perfect strangers…but he doesn’t act like he resents this life that he lives.

However, once in a while, he does give us a glimpse into his heart and his thoughts. He did just that on Sunday as we made his cookies, lots of snow outside our windows, and his head still bandaged.

“Mom?” he began. “Saturday, I thought, would have been a good day, but it wasn’t.”

I really wanted to wrap him in a hug…which he would have promptly pulled away from…and empathize with him about what a bad day it certainly was. But I knew that I needed to point him to a principle that God points ME to, over and over.

Thankfulness.

“I know it was a hard day, Aaron, but it ended good,” I reminded him. “What did you have for supper?”

“We had steak!” he answered with enthusiasm.

“And what else?” I prompted him.

He thought a few seconds. I was hopeful that he just MIGHT remember the name of the salad.

“Triple egg salad!!!” he exclaimed.

Triple Egg Salad??!!

How on earth did Seven Layer Salad become Triple Egg Salad?!

Whatever.

So, for that moment, we were both thankful for Triple Egg Salad!

And in my heart, for so many other blessings as well!

Weary

I’m sitting here wondering how to start this post, so I’m just going to start this post by telling you that I’m sitting here wondering how to start this post.

I’m still sitting here, wondering.

So I’ll just launch into it. Gary and I had a disagreement on Saturday about Aaron.

There. I said it.

It’s not the first and it won’t be the last. 😊

Aaron may be nearing 34 years of age, but Gary and I are still in the thick of parenting, believe me. Like all parents, we don’t always see eye to eye on every issue. And just when Gary and I think we have some situation all figured out, Aaron not only changes the rules, he changes the entire game!!

Not to sound like a whiner but parenting a special needs adult – or child – is challenging even on a good day. Gary and I both get tired, on many levels. What may not be a big deal can easily turn into a huge deal when we’re tired. And trust me, Aaron can wear us totally out.

For instance, Aaron has just finished watching all four of the Jaws movies. It’s taken him some time to watch all four of those movies. Aaron’s current movie becomes his obsession, so lately we have heard more about sharks than we ever, ever, EVER wanted to hear. Shark teeth, shark gills, shark size, shark color, shark location, shark diet, shark movies, and will there be a FIFTH Jaws??!!

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Please tell me no on that last one!

It’s like I told Gary on Saturday during our discussion about our disagreement…there are some days, many days, that by the end of the day, I am SO done. Just really, completely done.

Not done with having Aaron live here. Not done with loving Aaron, by any means. But just done, as in deep down bone tired.

And so is Gary.

We talked and came to an agreement, and we still love each other. We even still LIKE each other!

But being tired…not just physically tired, but soul tired…isn’t resolved as quickly. I don’t know about you, but when I get like this I tend to magnify everything. Small issues become much larger than they really are. I mentally bounce all over the place, making mountains out of mole hills, even when I know better.

I sat down on the patio with my cup of coffee, enjoying the birds and the breeze, and I talked to the Lord. I told Him I was tired, as if He didn’t know that. And I told Him, as I am prone to do, that I sure would love to hear from Him.

As clear as day, this day that was just starting, this verse went through my mind: “Be not weary in well doing…”

And I felt a real peace.

I got on my phone to look up the verse because I’m terrible at remembering references. It’s Galatians 6:9 (one of the verses), and so I continued to scroll down on my phone to look at other translations and notes.

One of the references was Malachi 1:13. I hope you’re going to love this as much as I did. Without going into tons of detail, God was talking to Israel about how they were neglecting to truly worship Him. They were bringing defiled food and sickly animals for their sacrifices.

God told Israel, “You also say, ‘My, how tiresome it is!’ And you disdainfully sniff at it,” says the Lord of hosts.”

Israel was tired of doing the right thing. They were tired of obeying God. In fact, they sniffed at God’s instruction to them. That means that they blew through their nose. Much like I did on Saturday morning. You know…that sniff through the nose when you’re frustrated with something.

Don’t tell me you’ve never done it!

Sniff!!

OK, so I live with Aaron and I do get tired. But when God says to not weary in well doing, He’s not saying I should never get tired and if I do then I’m sinning. The “weary” in that verse means “to fail in heart.”

It’s my heart…my heart issues…I need to guard.

How do I do that? By being careful not to offer God a sacrifice unworthy of Who He is. God wants me to offer sacrifices of praise and thanksgiving and trust. And I can only do this when I stop and realize that He is sovereign over my life…my whole life…even all the Aaron moments. And anything else that weighs me down and causes me to sniff disdainfully.

To lay at God’s feet my worries, my anger, my sadness, my regrets…whatever else there may be…and then to replace all those things with praise and thankfulness and trust in Him.

Then I am better equipped to consciously continue in well doing…to do right even when I don’t feel like doing right…to not be weary in well doing.

It’s a tall order for sure. But I have a tall God who really will…and does…give me what I need, when I need it.

There’s a promise at the end of Galatians 6:9: “…for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.”

Our reaping will take various forms, but a big one is a harvest of peace. My situation may not change, but God will give peace as I obey Him.

What’s got you tired today? Our lists get long, don’t they? Health…finances…children…jobs…moving…rejection…hurts…church…

But through and in it all, don’t let your heart fail. Don’t fail to thank God for so many things, and for WHO He is!

Don’t sniff at your life but sacrifice your life to the One Who loves you so much!

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