Last night I enjoyed a beautiful light and sound show, thanks to our great Creator God. Just as we were turning in for the night, a pretty significant Kansas storm was cranking up. Aaron loves storms, and so he was getting all ready to sink into his covers and watch the lightning through his windows that he faces from his bed. Of course, that was after he made sure that all of his covers were just right and that his clock that was flashing from a previous short power outage was reset – using my cell phone as his reference point since his portable digital clock is broken. I hoped he was settled as I finally made my way to bed.
I’m sleeping in Andrea’s former room right now due to a shoulder injury that causes much tossing and turning on my part, along with pillows and grunts and groans that I feel will bother Gary. The windows in Andrea’s room face the direction from which the storm was coming, and it’s upstairs so the open, rural view is perfect. The blinds were staying up so that I would have a perfect, unimpeded view of the storm. I knew exactly what I was going to do as I climbed into bed and turned the nightstand lamp off. Worship. And rest in God’s greatness and power on full display outside.
Several years ago, Gary and I were going through a particularly trying time in our lives. I had been praying for Gary in specific ways as he faced certain stresses and frustrations that were weighing him down. As I prayed for him, though, I didn’t really know what to pray for. I just knew that I needed to pray for God to do a work in his life and in our lives together. God did just that. He answered my prayer……but not in the way that I would ever have expected, and definitely not in a way I would have wanted. God moved in a way that caused much personal pain for both of us over a period of many months, and still continues somewhat today. Yet through that rough time, God showed us more than we could have imagined. He proved Himself faithful, and He caused us to grow in our walk with Him and in our relationship to each other, to our children, and to our dear family and friends.
Gary and I had gone to Missouri one weekend to spend some time with Andrew at a racing event. On that Saturday morning in our hotel room, while Gary did some studying for his Sunday School lesson, I opened my Bible randomly and looked down at Isaiah 40. I began to read that chapter as well as the next one, and was overwhelmed with the reminder of just Who God is. God was speaking to Israel, but the concepts of His greatness and power apply to all of us today as well.
Reading about the pure power of God in creation had a profound impact on me as I sat on that hotel bed. This God of mine holds the oceans in His hand! Imagine that! He measures the universe with the span of His hand! He weighs the mountains! He sits above the circle of the earth, and stretches out the heavens like a curtain! He calls each star by name! And to Him, we are like little grasshoppers; nations are like a drop in a bucket or like a speck of dust on the scales; rulers come and go at His command. I could go on and on from these two chapters in Isaiah that spell out God’s might and our insignificance. What really struck me was this thought: How can I doubt God’s ability to handle my life, Gary’s life, or our children’s lives when I catch a glimpse of His unbelievable power and strength? How can I question whether he can arrange our lives when I just read about how he arranged universes?
When I pray with my eyes on my problems, then certainly I pray in my own weakness. But when I pray with my eyes on this God of the universe, then certainly I pray in His strength. And in that strength I can rest, knowing full well that He can absolutely do anything and everything. When I think in my heart, “Well, I don’t know how on earth God can manage to do this thing that I’m praying about,” then I am relying on my own power…………and I have none. It’s good for me to return often to Isaiah 40 and 41, and to be reminded of just Whom I am praying to and relying upon.
God does things that I don’t understand. In these Isaiah verses, He also asks this question: Who has directed or counseled or taught God? No one has done those things! Who could ever teach this great God? Yet there are times that I try to take that place in this life and figure things out……make sense of situations……give God ideas of how to work, all the while wondering if He can really do those things for me.
I don’t know why God made Aaron to have Epilepsy and Autism. But I do know my wonderful God………the God that I worshipped last night as I was nearly blinded by His fantastic light show. I know that He is sovereign and perfect, and that I can trust His plan for me and for Gary and for our Aaron. I know that He will take care of Andrea in grad school and of Andrew in his senior year of college.
God is great……..I am not. That’s the bottom line. God loves me and He loves my family. These Isaiah verses also state that He does not become weary or tired; that His understanding is unsearchable; that He gives strength; that He will uphold; and that He doesn’t want me to look anxiously about me.
I relished the time with Him last night, being reminded of His power with every dazzling flash of lightning and every boom of thunder. I felt small and overwhelmed………but so protected by this all powerful God Who loves me with a fierce love. He can do anything and everything. He wants my time and my obedience and my trust.
Everything else He can handle just fine.