Laughter – And Comfort – In This Smelly World

Today Aaron and I went to one of his yearly meetings to update paperwork that the state requires as part of the services he receives.  Last week the meeting was at Paradigm, his day service provider.  It’s interesting to go there and to see some of Aaron’s friends.  Some want to hug me, some want to shake my hand, and some want to talk to me.  They are all so varied and interesting………some with sad stories, I’m sure………..some with strong, loving families and some not so blessed.  The staff there is amazing – full of love and understanding and so much patience.  I’m forever grateful for them.  As I was leaving, one of the young clients walked me to the door and he said, “Mrs. Moore, Aaron looks just like you.”  And then he quickly added, “I don’t mean that in a bad way!”  HaHaHa!  I’m not sure if he meant it would be bad for me or for Aaron, but I didn’t ask!

Today our second meeting was just with his case manager and with Barb, who works at Paradigm and whom Aaron loves.  On our way to Applebees for lunch, we stopped at Great Clips to see if they could give Aaron a haircut.  Sure enough, it was nearly empty and so Aaron got right in – taking off his glasses and then for some reason his ring, as he always does, for me to hold while he got his hair cut.   The girl who cut his hair has seen Aaron before and is very kind, so she chatted happily with him as she cut his hair and engaged him in a great way.  Aaron loves the attention, and the feel of the clippers relaxes him………..so much so that we were wondering if he was going to fall out of the chair as he leaned farther and farther over.  I called to him and then the stylist laughed, and Aaron straightened up………for a minute………and forward he went again.  He perked up when she asked him if he wanted gel.  He loves getting the green gel in his hair, although with a buzz cut he totally doesn’t need it………but he feels special and that’s always fun, for any of us……….and definitely for Aaron.  Plus it sure helps him smell good!

We were still early for Applebees, so I told Aaron that I wanted to run into Lowes to look at valences.  He trotted behind me, talking all the way, of course.  As I looked at the curtains, Aaron saw the clocks…………and we know how he loves clocks.  “Mom, you know those big clocks that make that loud noise?” 

Yes, Aaron – Grandfather clocks.  “Yeah!  Is that why they’re annoying?  Because they’re Grandfather clocks?”   I have no idea why he thinks they would be annoying because they’re grandfather clocks – both of Aaron’s grandfathers were sweet men.  Must be a movie he watched that had grouchy grandfathers.  He couldn’t explain it, either.

He was very interested in the grills lined up outside as we left.  One day after a trip to Lowes with Gary, Aaron came home talking about the round grills……..which he called “bowl grills.”  Today he lifted the lid on a large grill and saw the two racks.  “Look, Mom!  That grill cooks double!”  And then he spied the smoker/grill with the little stovepipe chimney.  “Mom!  There’s a pipe oven!!”  Of course, we had to examine the “pipe oven” and I tried to explain the purpose of a smoker………but Aaron was just focused on the little pipe chimney.

On our way over to Applebees, a truck passed us that was carrying a ramp with holes in it.  “Mom, that reminds me of those big trucks that have holes in them that carry animals.”  I told him that yes, they carry cattle or other animals.  I asked, “Aaron, have you smelled the cattle trucks?  What do they smell like?”  First he told me, “They smell dumb!”  And then he added, “They have too heavy a smell!”   Oh, yes, they do indeed!

Our meeting at Applebees went well, mostly because there was food involved.  For some reason, Aaron wants to pinch or poke his case manager – so I was happy that he sat across the booth from her.  He still managed to kick her, though.  Oh, Aaron!  He feels nervous at these meetings, thinking that she’s going to tell him he has to leave Paradigm, so this is his way of showing his fear.  And of embarrassing his mother. 

Aaron ordered Spinach/Artichoke dip with chips, which surprised me………and a house salad, which did not surprise me.  He got his salad before any of us got our food, and he promptly started putting the croutons on the table.  I stopped him, and he waited until I got my salad……….and I inherited the unwanted croutons.  Aaron wanted to know what the black stuff was in his dip………..that would be spinach, Aaron.  He dipped each chip very gingerly in the dip, then shook and shook the chip, and took a little bite.  Most of the dip was uneaten, of course, leaving me wondering why on earth he ordered such a thing.  He talked and talked and talked some more during our meeting, loving the audience and the chance to tell whatever came to his mind.  Somehow as we left, his case manager said this was her favorite meeting.  Was it the food or was it Aaron?  I didn’t ask. 

Aaron thumped downstairs just now to tell Gary and me about the rest of his day.  Brandy, the owner of Paradigm, has two sons.  One is Dirk, who is probably 6 years old now, and the other older son’s name escapes our memory.  Aaron excitedly said, “Mom, guess what Brandy brought to Paradigm today?!”  He paused for me to answer, so I replied, “What did Brandy bring to Paradigm today?”  And Aaron answered, with a huge smile, “A little girl!” 

Since when is a little girl a “what” and not a “who?”  Anyway, Aaron was very interested in the fact that Brandy, who has two sons, now has a little girl………..and he wouldn’t hear any of my comments about the fact that she was probably a niece or whatever.  To Aaron, Brandy has a little girl.  Then Aaron said, “I haven’t seen Brandy’s boys in a long time.  Remember?  Dirk and Jerk?”  

JERK?  OK, I had to laugh…………and so did Aaron………….and so did Gary.  We can’t remember the older son’s name, but I am quite sure it’s not Jerk…………even though Dirk and Jerk do have a certain ring to them. 

Aaron thumped back upstairs, quite pleased with his little funny saying and with our laughter…….and repeatedly assured that yes, Aaron, I WILL come get you IF I can play Skip-Bo.  And so almost ends another day with Aaron.  I am very thankful for the good people that God has put into our lives………..the ones who cut Aaron’s hair, take his restaurant orders with a smile, work out his yearly plans despite being kicked, love him so patiently at Paradigm, and give him ideas of funny names. 

And I’m thankful that God gave us Aaron.  The future may be uncertain as we make his yearly plans.  The winds of change are blowing in the state services that we receive.  Those winds may blow our way and leave us with “too heavy a smell.”  We don’t know what all the changes mean for Aaron and for us.  But God never changes and He loves Aaron more than we do.   

And that ‘s more comforting than anything else in this old smelly world!

From Hay Barrels to Football

Aaron came down from his nap today, hungry and full of things to talk about.  I heated up some leftover taco soup for him while he went to the bathroom.  He marched back into the kitchen and when I turned around he was munching on a Rice Krispie Treat.  Yes, I made some yesterday and we actually have a few still uneaten!  I told him not to eat sweets right before his lunch and he complied, amazingly enough.  He was suspicious of this strange looking soup – the black beans mixed with the tomatoes and corn gave it an unusual color to him.  But after one bowl he was ready for a second, so while it heated he talked all about black beans – and was happy to look at the can of beans I handed him.

Everything is interesting to Aaron – except for people’s emotions.  It’s so strange how that works.  He notices so many details and talks them to death, but totally doesn’t understand at times the simplest emotions.  Today my emotion was laughter as he talked, and he does respond well to that unless he thinks that we are laughing AT him.  Today I was laughing with him and it was very enjoyable.

For instance, out of the blue he said, “Mom, I was thinking that now that it’s winter there won’t be any more of those hay barrels left for the cows and horses.”   Yes, Aaron calls hay bales………hay barrels.  He always has, and it always makes me smile.  They do look like barrels, don’t they?  Anyway, I don’t know what got Aaron off on hay barrels in the middle of taco soup and  Rice Krispie Treats, but as always I answered him with great interest.  He likes to be treated as an adult and to know that we value his conversations………..even as we chew our tongues in order not to laugh, or try to hide our smiles. 

He continued, “The hay is all dead, right?”  I told him how cattle owners buy or raise lots of hay to use over the winter, and tried to talk intelligently about dead hay.  Anyway, I assured him that the cows and horses would be fine over the winter.  Then he asked, “So hay barrels are hay, right?”  Uh……..yeah, Aaron…………hay barrels would be hay.  Right.  And he shook his head yes as I once again hid my smile.

He was examining his bag of Mike and Ikes as he ate his soup.  I was not at the table when he asked, “Mom, have I eaten a cherry?”  I wondered at this question and turned to see him looking at the bag of candy, with pictures on the back of the various fruits represented by this gooey treat.  I assured him that he had eaten a cherry, when he asked, “So a lime is another orange?”  Uh…………no, Aaron………a lime is – a lime.  So I got out a lemon from the frig and used it to describe a lime, reminding him of the limes I bought some time back that he seems to have forgotten.  This led to me setting out the bottles of lemon and lime juice for him to sample, and laughing as he twisted his mouth and shook his head and didn’t want to try any  more! 

He noticed the nearly full trash can when he threw his napkin away.  “Mom, that trash can in the kitchen is getting stuffed!”  Yep, Aaron, tonight is trash night………….and no, you don’t need to take care of it now……….even as he turned to reach for more Rice Krispie Treats.  No more treats, Aaron! 

Off he went downstairs to talk to Gary, who was watching football.  I heard Aaron talking, and Gary replying, and Aaron talking a lot, and Gary replying………..on and on it went.  I came down to join in and enjoy Aaron’s happy mood.  “Mom, remember yesterday when that football player got hurt?  Those hospital people were bent over him.  He looked flattened!” 

Yes, Aaron.  “Mom, what was wrong with that player.  Why was he flattened?”  I assured him that the player wasn’t really flattened and that he just got the breath knocked out of him.  “So is that why those hospital people were standing around him?”  Yep, those hospital people are good about checking on flattened people, Aaron!

Aaron’s not very familiar with football generally.   I wrote several blogs last year about his football comments and insights, many of which were hilarious.   He doesn’t know the various teams, and trying to explain professional football as opposed to college football is next to impossible.  Yet he still observes and he asks lots of questions, such as why hospital people stand around flattened football players.  He then informed me, “Dad wants the team that has the star on it to win.”  That would be Dallas, for those of you who also don’t know much about football teams.  Aaron found out that Dad had voted for Dallas…………that’s  another way Aaron talks about football………..wanting to know which team we are voting for.  I wonder if he thinks Obama and Romney play football?

Aaron wasn’t through with his observing.  “The other team – the team that has the B.A.L. – who is that?”  We told him who the B.A.L. team was and he was satisfied that the B.A.L. team was going to win, even though we didn’t vote for them.  But that’s the way football is sometimes, you know. 

So is life.  We don’t always get what we vote for, but things have a way of working out…………especially when God is in charge.  There will be hay barrels for the cows that Aaron likes and hospital people for the flattened football players and other chances for the team with the star to win.  And candy and Rice Krispie Treats……….if I can keep Aaron out of them!!

The Blessing of Ben

I love blogging about Aaron the way that I’ve been able to do over this past year and two months.  Sharing Aaron with all of you, and our life with Aaron, is a joy and a privilege.  I sometimes wonder who is reading, and I wonder if the blogs are a blessing, or do they ever come across as same-old, same-old……….or shallow……….or silly……….or making light of a serious situation.  I know that many parents of children with special needs really don’t have many reasons to laugh or even smile.  Their lives are full of the daily care of children or adult children who need lots of care.  Days are exhausting and nights are too short.  There is rarely any humor such as we have with Aaron.  Aaron happens to be very verbal and at times, very funny.  Yet there are many seasons of frustration and tiredness for us as well.

My main purpose for blogging is to share with all of you that even in the midst of cares and burdens, and the heartache of having a child with special needs – we can choose to see the good, or the humorous, and to take the time to learn the lessons that God wants to teach us.  I am blessed beyond measure to share these thoughts and lessons with each of you.

Last week I was very touched and very encouraged to hear from a special friend via Facebook.  Doretha Weyant and her husband Brad crossed Gary’s and my path many years ago at Piedmont Bible College.  We have reconnected through Facebook and have enjoyed getting to know one another again.  Doretha and Brad have been a sweet testimony to me, and have given me permission to share their story.  We have communicated a lot on Facebook for a long time, but last week I got this inbox message from Doretha………..and it just blessed my heart to pieces.  She said:

Patty, I thought of you and Aaron yesterday at the doctor’s office. I had gotten on the elevator to go to 2nd floor and a mom with her 2 kids was on there. One looked maybe 8; the other a teenager. The oldest boy said some strange thing very loudly and then went over and hugged his mom. She looked at me and I just smiled at her. We got off the elevator and they were coming to my dr. as well. They sat right behind me in the waiting room, so I couldn’t see them but could hear them. The oldest boy was very loud and kept saying hey mom, hey mom, over and over til she would respond. Then he would tell her all kinds of things from his day, doing so in a rather loud voice. I sat there wondering if he had the same disability as Aaron. Then I went in to see my knee dr. While in there I found out he had Down Syndrome. I thought of your blogs about Aaron and I wish I could have encouraged the mom, but didn’t see them anymore. Just know that Brad and I think of your family quite often and pray God will give you His grace to carry on with your many trials in life. Aaron is a special guy and God has a wonderful purpose for him here on this earth. Love ya. Doretha

The thing is……….Doretha wrote me this note on the day that marked the one year anniversary of her own son’s passing to heaven.  This made her encouragement to me even more poignant and meaningful.  Let me allow Doretha to tell you about their precious Ben:

Ben had Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy which is an incurable genetic muscle disease. He had a mutation on his dystrophin gene, a very large piece of the genetic exons were missing. Dystrophin is the protein that basically keeps the muscles from falling apart. He was diagnosed at 7 yrs old and we were told that he would be in a wheelchair very soon and life span was no more than late teens to mid 20’s. But when you are dealing on a daily basis, as you know with Aaron, you don’t think much about the future.

Ben Wyant
 
Ben had a very loving set of parents in Brad and Doretha, and his siblings as well.  He had many friends and a wonderful extended family, as well as church family.  He was blessed, but I’m sure that he WAS a blessing as well – a huge blessing from all the comments and the pictures that I have seen.  Doretha continues:

October 3, 2011 at 12:55 in the afternoon, as Brad and I sat next to Ben, the angels came and carried him from his earthly home to his Heavenly one. This past year has been the most difficult year of our entire lives and I have shed more tears than I thought possible. We never realized how hard it was going to be to lose our child. We knew since Ben was 7 yrs old that he would not live past his 20’s. But, knowing it and experiencing it is two different things. Brad and I have been blessed with 4 wonderful children, 2 in Heaven, 2 on earth. Thank you Father for our blessing of Ben and the Godly life that he showed to all around him. We know we will see him and Christina very soon!!

I cannot imagine the pain of that moment, and the pain of the days following during this past year.  And did you notice that Doretha mentioned yet another child in heaven as well?  Again, here is Doretha:

Christina is the identical twin sister of our daughter Katie. In 1983, when I was pregnant with them, the medical field was just beginning to know about the problem I had with them. But they didn’t know how yet to fix it. It is called Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome. You can look it up if you are interested in knowing more about it, but it’s when one baby becomes more of a host baby and the other becomes the donor of food and nutrients and blood supply. The one baby gets bigger and bigger, while the donor baby does not grow after a certain time. This is pretty rare, but at least they know how to go in and fix it so that the babies have a better chance of survival. So, we knew we were having twins. They were due on March 25. We found out by mid January that Christina had died. Katie and she came a month early on Feb. 28. Since Christina was so small the body starts to absorb the dead tissue. Our doctor advised us that we did not want to have that in our memory. So, we donated her body to the research department at Bowman Grey School of Med. They were doing research on this very thing, so we thought that was best.  We have never seen our precious Christina. But since they were identical twins then she looks just like Katie.

Again, when I read Doretha’s words I realize that this precious child, Christina, was bone of her bone and flesh of her flesh.  She and Brad had such loss at this time………and then later to have loved Ben for all those years, and have to let him go when God called him to heaven.  Are Brad and Doretha bitter?  Are they angry at God?  Are they jealous of others who still have all their children, or even of me as I write about our daily life with Aaron?  You decide as you read what else Doretha told me:

Do you ever wonder why God gave Aaron to you and Gary? We have often wondered why God allowed us to have these strange diseases in our family. Guess we may never know. But, I’m glad that the Lord knows and gives us the strength to endure all these things. Keep up the blogs. I really like reading them!!

Two things stand out to me in Doretha’s words:  First, the Lord knows.  Yes, He does indeed know about our special children.  He knows why they were allowed to be like they are, as fearfully and wonderfully made as any others.  God is sovereign and even when He doesn’t bend down and tell us the whys of His doings, we can trust that all these things are somehow for our good and for His glory.  I believe that often our special children are here to draw us to God in a way that no other person or situation can.  What an honor and a calling!

Secondly, Doretha said that God gives us the strength to endure all these things.  Oh, is that ever true!  How could we ever do it on our own?  “For His strength is made perfect in weakness!”  We don’t know how weak we are until we are at our end and we fall into His arms, and let Him take over.  Complete trust………..complete relief. 

Thank you, Brad and Doretha, for letting me share a part of your story and a part of your heart.  Thank you for being a strong testimony of God’s faithfulness in your lives.  Thank you for allowing your pain to bless us.  I look forward to meeting Christina and Ben in heaven some day! 

Brad, Doretha, and Ben
 
 
And I will continue to write as God leads and pray that He will direct my words to bring honor to Him and encouragement to weary, questioning parents.    

 

 

 

 

The Wonder of the Mundane

Aaron is very fascinated with our pecan tree – not only because of the “pee-cons,” as he calls them, but because of the squirrels that run all over the yard.  It’s fun to watch the squirrels zipping around with their jaws stuffed with our pecans.  Aaron likes to pick the pecans up that the squirrels leave behind and then examine them.  Most of them are just shells or are mangled up pecans that the squirrels or birds have handled.  Rarely do we find a whole pecan that is undamaged.

But today Aaron bounded in the house when he got home from his group.  “Mom!  I found a pee-con!  It was new and had not been opened!!”   He was so excited about this new, unopened pee-con that I had to laugh.  He told me that he gave that pee-con to one of his friends in the van, which I thought was very nice.

Later, as Aaron told me about his trip to Wal-Mart, he talked about some of the interesting food that he had seen.  He loved the bright, orange pumpkins.  “Mom!  Did you know that squirrels eat the nuts inside of a pumpkin?!”  

Somehow I’ve missed the nuts inside of my pumpkins!  I went ahead and told Aaron that those nuts are really seeds, and that he could dry them and eat them too – but he didn’t like that idea.  He continued talking about the next thing on his mind, which was the coconut that he saw.  We’ve talked a lot about coconuts, and have bought fresh coconut before so he could open it and see the coconut milk and taste the fresh coconut.  Yet what amazes Aaron the most is that hard coconut shell.  Today was no exception.  “Mom, that coconut’s outside is like metal or cement!”   Now that’s hard!!

He told me that while he was outside of his day group, he saw a razor and picked it up – and cut his finger.  I was not happy about that, and so he held up his finger that had a band-aid on it.  He took the band-aid off and showed me his finger, which just looked like he had pulled skin – like he often does.  I said, “Aaron, it doesn’t look at all like you cut your finger with a razor.” 

“Yes, I did, Mom!  I was razoning my finger!”   And once again I told him to not pick up a razor, of all things, and do NOT razon his finger!!   There is a reason I often pray for his safety!  Why does he have to pick everything up that he sees?! 

He came down to join Gary and I for supper, and of course had to get more silverware, the napkins, the toothpicks – you know the routine as well as we do by now.  And as he cut his steak,  he placed something in his unused salad bowl.  It was a piece of fat that he had cut from his steak.  The fat could not stay on his plate, just like crumbs cannot stay in the same bowl or plate as his chips or crackers or whatever.  One little piece of fat – but it’s too much to share the plate with his good food. 

 

And we know not to make a big deal of this.  So he dirties a whole bowl for one little piece of meat.  That’s why I have a dishwasher.  It’s just part of what makes Aaron tick…….what makes Aaron unique…………what makes Aaron – Aaron. 

Without Aaron’s insight, I would never have known that pumpkins have nuts inside and that coconuts are like metal or cement.  And his friend would not have seen the wonder of a new, unopened pee-con!  Aaron makes the hum-drum details of life suddenly become full of wonder, at times.  We just need to listen and learn from him.

I need to remember to sometimes see my world like Aaron does, and share that wonder with others.  Life is much more interesting that way!  

I’ll Take Seconds!

Aaron’s color blindness leads to some interesting descriptions of food on his part.  He describes browns and tans as being green, for instance.  One day it was time for lunch and I asked him what he wanted to eat.  We had previously had a Mexican casserole for supper and he liked it, so he remembered that dish when I asked him what he wanted for lunch.  “Mom, can I have some of that Mexican food that was kinda green but yellow, too?”   There was no guacamole involved in this casserole, mind you, so I was a little stumped about how he described it as “kinda green but yellow, too.”  Doesn’t sound at all appealing to me! 

I don’t think this was the same day that he said, as he ate lunch, “Mom, do I get seconds?  Do you want me to fill myself up?”  Aaron, I never need to worry about you filling yourself up.  You do that very well on your own…………and no, you don’t need seconds!  If I was eating a leftover casserole from the frig that was kinda green but yellow, too, I’m not sure I’d even be eating firsts, trust me!

This morning I fixed Aaron some boiled eggs that he likes, and added some bacon as a special treat.  He came home from his group today and said, “Mom, I told Barb what you fixed me this morning.”

So you told her about the boiled eggs and the bacon?

“Yeah, I told her you fixed me those hard eggs and that bacon that was kinda soft and green.”

Hmmmm………sounds like such an appetizing breakfast, Aaron.  Hard eggs and that soft, green bacon.  Yuuumeeeeee!!!

We need to invite Barb over for some hard eggs and soft, green bacon sometime.  I bet she’ll jump at that offer!

What Season Is It Anyway?

In Aaron’s orderly world, the change of seasons presents………..well, change……….and change of any sort does not go unnoticed by Aaron.  The seasonal changes don’t upset him, but they do cause him to feel the need to discuss those changes – a lot.  He enjoys weather, anyway, so when he feels the temperature fluctuations and sees the trees changing then he will talk and talk about it. 

I remember back in the spring, or nearly spring, Aaron came outside to discuss this issue with me as I was pruning our Rose of Sharon bushes. It wasn’t technically spring yet, according to the black and white calendar that Aaron has on his wall, but he was somewhat flustered.  He had just come home from his group and it was a warm day in March.  He marched outside, coming over to where I was working, and said, “Mom, those kids said it’s spring.  It’s not spring until March 20!”  I explained, as I have so often, about how we talk about spring when it starts getting warm but that yes, spring doesn’t really arrive until that certain date that he knows is on his calendar……….in black and white………set in stone.  I thought that once again, after this same discussion over all these years, that he had for this spring……….for this moment………settled the “When Does Spring Really Start?” conflict. 

Silly me.  Later that evening, he walked into my bedroom and said, “So is it spring yet?  I don’t understand that.”  Ah, Aaron…………..seasonal ebbs and flows don’t match calendar dates, do they?  And that certainly doesn’t match your rigid view of the world, your view that is on your calendar, does it? 

It was no surprise to me when on September 21, Aaron came into the kitchen and asked, “Mom!  Is it fall yet?”  He knew it was fall because he had looked on his calendar, but I affirmed that today was the first day of fall.  And his response:  “So why is it hot?”  You see, Aaron also struggles with the fact that the first day of a new season doesn’t mean that there is an instant change in temperature.  This is just another anomaly that doesn’t compute in his brain. 

Our temperatures now have cooled down significantly.  Aaron is actually going to wear long pants today.  Changing his wardrobe every season, from shorts to long pants and then back to shorts in the spring, has always been a challenge for Aaron.  He gets used to one set of clothes and then he has to change.  This includes long sleeved or short sleeved shirts, too!  He would love living in a steady climate, like Hawaii, all year long!

Our cooler temperatures that we are now enjoying have not gone unnoticed by Aaron, of course.  As we played Skip-Bo last night, he said, “Mom, now that it’s cool, warmness is on another continent in the United States.”  He thought I was sighing because I needed air. 

So we discuss a little geography and a little science and a little about the seasons……..and finally just agree that he is correct, to some degree……….which makes him happy and off to bed he goes.  I never would have dreamed that something as routine as the change of seasons would create so much discussion.  But then I never dreamed that we would have an Aaron and that the key word in this seasonal thing is the word  “CHANGE.” 

If it continues to be cool, he’ll be bringing up winter any day now.  And if it snows before December 21, I will be sighing a lot as I once again explain to him how it could possibly snow before winter is actually here.  Seasons were so simple before we had Aaron.

But not nearly as interesting.

The Rice Krispie Treats

Aaron loves Rice Krispie treats.  For some time he had been asking if I would make some, but for one reason or another I had been dragging my feet.  Finally, as I cooked supper last night, he said, “Mom, I told my Paradigm staff that I guess my mom doesn’t have enough Rice Krispies to make Rice Krispie treats.  That’s why you won’t make them, right?”  And I made the mistake of telling him that, no, I have enough Rice Krispies.  After all, I can’t have them thinking that I’m unprepared by not having the most basic of cereals, right?  And before I knew it, I heard a “Plunk!” on the counter and turned to see that Aaron had gotten the boxes of Rice Krispies out and was saying, “So, Mom, can we make Rice Krispie treats after supper?”  Whereupon he opened the cabinet door, and found my bag of mini-marshmallows.   I was trapped, with no reasonable excuse for not making the Rice Krispie treats. 
 
 

Still not wanting to totally commit, I told Aaron that MAYBE I’d make them after supper.  As we ate, he continued to pursue his request for this favorite snack, and finally said, “Mom, can I help you make them?  Like when I helped you make chocolate puddin’?   It’ll go by faster!”   First of all, Aaron really does say “puddin’ “………..just in case you were wondering.  It’s some carry-over from childhood and the Pokey Little Puppy book, I think.  And as far as his assurance that his help would make the fixing of Rice Krispie treats go by faster……….well, that’s highly unlikely.  I sat there remembering all the times that Aaron has “helped” me cook, and how he detests getting his hands messy – which results in many exclamations of disgust and much wiping of his hands on paper towels or washing at the sink.  I was also envisioning his exaggerated stirring, with the contents of various bowls ending up all over the counter or stove……….or how uncoordinated he is with certain utensils, especially knives!………..or how he still hasn’t mastered cracking a raw egg – “No, Aaron!  You pull the cracked egg apart!  You don’t mash in!!!”

Then remembering that Rice Krispie treats have no eggs, I began to reconsider.  Still, the sticky and messy hands, and the stirring…………oh, why not?  I was feeling generous, and Aaron was so eager, that I said yes and made him very happy.  He waited as patiently as Aaron can wait while Gary and I cleaned up the kitchen.  Finally it was time for Aaron to take center stage and help Mom with the Rice Krispie treats.  He got the butter out of the frig, and actually cut the required amount safely as I fearfully watched.  Just as I knew he would, he did NOT want to get the butter on his fingers as he dumped it from the wrapper into the pan on the stove.  After wiping his fingers clean, he watched the butter melt.  “Mom, why is it moving?  Look at it moving!!  Why is it moving?” 

After the fascinating, moving butter had melted I had him dump the marshmallows into the pan and start stirring.  “Oooh, Mom!  It looks like barf!”   Stir, stir, stir…………and then when I looked away I heard a noise, only to turn and find him using the spoon more like a hammer as he plunged it repeatedly into the melting marshmallows.  “Aaron, what are you doing?” I asked.  He answered, “I’m trying to smash those squares!”  Squares?  I looked in the pan and saw what he meant.  Where the melting marshmallows were joining together, some of them did look like squares.  Only Aaron!

“Is it time to pour the Rice Krispie treats?”  he wondered as he saw me measuring the cereal into a bowl.  “Just hang on, Aaron.  You have to stir the cereal in first,” I told him.  He then stirred and stirred until the mixture was pretty well evenly mixed and he eagerly watched as I dumped it into the greased dish.  I turned to do something else and when I looked back at Aaron, there he stood…………holding the pan of Rice Krispie treats as he said, “Mom, I’ll put them in the oven for you!”  No, no Aaron!  We don’t bake Rice Krispie Treats.  They’re done!  And off Aaron went to his room, saying that he would eat one later.  We had survived the entire process without a major issue or disaster!

 
Later that night, Aaron finally ate one before bed.  Then later, after the lights were out and we were in bed, I heard a noise.  Aaron had already gone down to take his pills, so I wondered what he was doing.  When I got up the next morning, I looked at the Rice Krispie treats and saw that  a large section was missing.  I should have known!  Aaron had gone on a mission last night and filled his stomach with his favorite snack!

This morning I had a dentist appointment, so I left just a few minutes before Cody picked Aaron up at home.  I returned to the house later, ate my lunch, and then decided that a Rice Krispie treat would be just the perfect little end to my lunch.  That’s when I noticed that the lid to the Rice Krispie dish was askew.  Hmmmm………..and as I looked, my fears were confirmed.  Sure enough, the dish was empty.  The treats were totally gone!  Oh my goodness! 

 
That rat!  Aaron took……….or ate………..all the Rice Krispie treats after I left this morning!  Maybe he took some to Rosie.  Now I REALLY wanted what was no longer there.  Let’s see – I knew I had the Rice Krispies.  I checked the cabinet for another stray bag of marshmallows, too, just in case there was one hidden behind the pasta………or the peanut butter………..or the cake mix………maybe behind the oatmeal?  No? 

Next time, I’ll make Rice Krispie treats without Aaron’s help……..when he’s not even home……….and I’ll eat ALL I want before he even knows I made them. 

See how he brings out the best in me?   

Lessons From the Praying Mantis

 

Gary and I had been out in the yard on Saturday.  It was time to go in for lunch, so we called to Aaron and then headed for the house.  My new mums on the front porch were vibrant with the colors of fall, and bees buzzed around lazily between the mums and my still-blooming Crepe Myrtles.  It was such a beautiful day! 

 

Just as we were ready to walk inside the garage, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye.  I stopped to take a closer look, not moving from where I was standing.  I saw that the thing catching my attention was long and green and was perched atop my pretty Crepe Myrtle blooms, partially hidden by the growth around him.  A grasshopper!  An unwelcome intruder in my flower bed!  I didn’t appreciate him chowing down on my Crepe Myrtle leaves, or any of my other bushes or flowers.   

 

I told Gary about the grasshopper as I stepped around to the front of the bush for better aim.  I was ready to shoo that trespasser away!  That’s when I realized my mistake, thankfully before I rattled the poor creature’s nerves and forced him to fly off.  There sat a cute, medium-sized praying mantis.  Yes, I think a praying mantis is a cute creature.  Not only are they cute, but they are so very helpful in the garden.  They eat the garden’s enemies and they eat some of my enemies in various bug forms, so a praying mantis is very welcome in my flower bed.  I was so glad that I realized my mistake before I made him leave.  Gary and I showed our praying mantis to Aaron before going on inside and leaving our little guest in peace.

 

I’ve had similar times in my life…………….times when I’m enjoying the beauty around me in my life……….when things are bright and nice and going well.  But there out of the corner of my eye I see a perceived intruder.  Maybe it’s an unexpected event that is less than inviting, is even uncomfortable or causes me to struggle when I least expect it.  I recently had an accident that has resulted in a shoulder injury.  This injury is not only painful, but is just downright annoying as it slows me down and interrupts my sleep.  Because of this injury, I have had to schedule doctor visits, an MRI, and who knows what else still to come.  To top it off, we may not be able to take a special trip home that we have planned.  Yet I know that God is in control of even this minor situation.  This is an opportunity for me to see God’s good in the midst of my pain and disappointment…………to realize that I don’t have a destructive grasshopper perched on this branch of my life but a helpful praying mantis. 

 

We all have varying situations that are occurring………or will occur………..in our lives.  Sometimes it’s not an occurrence at all, but a person who comes into our life that we really don’t want to have there at all, if we were honest.  Whether it’s an event, though, or a person, let’s not be so quick to shoo it all away and be done with it.  If we stop to look closely and to let God work, we may find that this is exactly what God has given us in order to teach us some important lessons.  As believers, we know along with Moses that we can say, “The Rock!  His work is perfect, for all His ways are just; a God of faithfulness and without injustice, Righteous and upright is He.” 

 

God doesn’t send destructive grasshoppers into our lives, even when we wonder about the things that we’re going through.  With God, His works are perfect.  He desires to teach us and to help us, just like my praying mantis was there to help me in my flower bed.  Lord, help me to take time to look at Your lessons and Your methods of teaching me before I rush in with arms flying, trying to brush off Your way of working in me.  May I look with clear eyes and see these times as helpful and learning times, not times to be done away with and hurried through.  Keep me still and quiet, observing Your miracles all around me and Your unusual ways of leading me. 

 

And thanks for the lesson You have taught me through this cute little praying mantis!

Aaron’s Confusing Night

I’ve written before about how Aaron likes to keep lists of things in his life.  He has a list of the times he watches programs that he has recorded.  He keeps all sorts of sticky note lists around his room with info regarding his games.  But perhaps the most interesting itemizing that he does is the very precise list he keeps of when he goes to bed and when he gets up.  He has pages and pages of this information, somehow necessary to him and very important. 

Aaron arranges his bed in a specific order every night, too.  He sits up and reads one of his Handy Answer Books every night before bed.  He wears his sweater along with either his long or short pajamas.  He wears his watch and ring, as well as his glasses.  He leans on his “husband” pillow, the new black fuzzy one that he recently got at Target when he went in search of Mike and Ikes.  On his lap is another pillow on which he rests his book.  At his feet is his long body pillow that he sleeps on during the night.  Beside him he places his back scratcher as well as the little towel he constantly carries……..the one he wipes his hands on when he feels like they are messy……..because he can’t abide having messy hands. 

He will read awhile, depending on how sleepy he is, and then when it’s time for bed he will get up and clean off his bed, putting everything back in its precise place.  He’ll place his long pillow on the bed where it belongs for him to use during the night, with the zipper always on the left side.  Always!   He’ll remove his ring and his glasses and his sweater, also putting them in their proper spots.  He’ll plug in the baby monitor so that we can hear him in our bedroom if he has a seizure.  And just before he climbs into his bed, he will open his notebook to write down the exact time that he is going to now turn off the light and call it a night.  The first thing he does the following morning is to open that same notebook that he keeps by his bed and write down the precise time that he wakes up.  This is Aaron’s routine.  Every.  Single.  Night.    Every.  Single.  Day.

Except for last night, a night which was very different.  Aaron came striding into my bathroom this morning as I was getting ready to dry my hair.  “Mom!  Guess what happened last night?”   I asked him to tell me what happened………..he would anyway………..and he continued, “Well, I was reading before bed and then I woke up at 3:33!”

You did?!  “Yes!  And you know what?!” 

What?!   “I had all my stuff on and everything was still around me!  I had on my glasses and my ring and my watch and my sweater!”   With this, Aaron began to laugh.  He thought this was all just too funny.  He went on, “Around me there was my pillow that I lean on and my pillow on my lap and my pillow at my feet and my towel and my back scratcher!!”  And he laughed even harder, which made me laugh.  He had fallen asleep while reading and then woke up to this unusual scene.  He said, “I woke up because something was poking me in my back!  It was my back scratcher!”   More laughter………..from both of us.

I asked him what he did, and he told me, “I got up and I took off my ring and my watch and my glasses.  I cleaned off the bed, and then I laid down and went back to sleep.  That was funny, Mom!  I had everything on and everything around me!”

He was still amazed at this situation and still laughing, when it hit me.  I wondered about his notebook, so I asked him what time he wrote down for when he went to bed and when he got up.  He told me that he wrote down the first time he got up……3:33……..as well as the second time he got up, at 8:12.  Later, after he was gone for the day, I opened his notebook and sure enough, there it was……..both times.  I’m not sure about the going-to-bed times, but he did write down the two times that he got up.
 

Aaron is so interesting!  If he gets out of bed after sleeping, he will write that time down……..because he MUST!  After all, he has a list and this is the order of that list.  Aaron explained the situation very well, though.  We were on our way to meet his group and he once again was talking about his strange night.  “Mom, last night was very confusing!”

Yes, it was confusing, Aaron.  And to our Aaron, confusing is unacceptable……..and sometimes very funny! 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

War!

War:  A struggle or competition between opposing forces or for a particular end

According to the above definition, Aaron and I are in a state of war.  We are actually in a state of war on two fronts.  One front has been ongoing for a long time…………the other is fairly new, but escalated today.

Moore War One:  The Fan Wars

Aaron has a tendency to get hot.  Not hot as in angry……well, sometimes he does do that…….but hot as in just hot……like sweaty hot.  Yuck!  Of course, it could have something to do with the fact that he often has his fuzzy blanket thrown over his lap as he sits at his desk and is on his computer.  And under that blanket may very well be long pajama pants, slipper socks AND slippers, and even a long sleeved shirt.  Never mind that we’ve told him time and again that he is way overdressed.  This is how he seems to be comfortable and if Aaron is comfortable then there is a slim-to-none chance that he will change what he is doing.

Aaron’s solution to being hot isn’t to dress lighter, although at times he does put on shorts along with a cooler shirt………while still using that fuzzy blanket.  His solution is to turn on his ceiling fan, no matter what time of year it is.  The whirring of his ceiling fan is a very common sound upstairs where his bedroom is located.

A year or two ago I bought him a little portable fan to put on his bookcase beside his desk.  I showed him how this fan could be used to blow on him and keep him from being so hot.  I thought that this was a great idea and was sure that Aaron would agree.  I should have known better.  Before long, we noticed that the fan was positioned to blow directly on Aaron’s computer………..not on Aaron himself.  So I moved the fan back to the blowing-on-Aaron position……only to walk in later and find it in the blowing-on-the-computer position.

When questioned, Aaron told us that his computer gets hot and so he uses his nice, new portable fan to blow on his computer in order to cool it down.  No amount of persuasion, pleading, demanding, or scientific data showing otherwise has caused Aaron to budge on this issue.  He is sure that his computer is too hot and that it needs the constant blowing of his fan in order to cool down and not explode, I guess.  Aaron keeps his ceiling fan on for himself, and has changed his little blowing-on-Aaron fan into a blowing-on-the-computer fan.

He also thinks that these fans need to be running constantly.  I do not agree.  When we leave the house, I always tell Aaron to turn his fans off.  And sure enough, sneaky Aaron will somehow manage on many mornings to keep those fans turned on……..as he did today.  Sometimes he’ll even go back into the house under the guise of getting something or doing something – but in reality he is sneaking back upstairs to turn those fans on.

So the Fan Wars continue and will for the foreseeable future, I’m sure.

Moore War Two:  The Body Wash Wars

Do you remember Aaron’s body wash that he said contained confetti?  Well, he threw it away one day because he said it was empty.  I rescued it from the trash because it was by NO means nearly empty.  When turned upside down, there were days and days of future showers in that bottle.  Listen, I am the woman who cuts open plastic bottles in order to use all the remaining face wash or lotion or other such things that are in there……..days and days of face washes and lotions I have found inside those bottles!  So no way was I letting Aaron throw away days and days worth of his confetti body wash!

Aaron does not have my thrifty nature.  He also does not seem to appreciate upside down bottles.  He has refused to use the body wash that has gathered in the upside down bottle.  I have persevered, though, even while he got under his sink and pulled out a full, new bottle of a different brand of body wash.  He has used this entire bottle, even while the confetti body wash has remained there, upside down and untouched.

This morning Aaron came into my bathroom and said, “Mom, I threw out those hair detergent things.  When I turned it up and squeezed, it made an air sound.”

Now notice that Aaron said he threw away those hair detergent things…….plural.  But then he referred to the air sound as coming from only one bottle.  Uh-huh.  He took the opportunity of having one empty bottle as a chance to throw both bottles away.  Who does he think he’s dealing with?  An amateur?  No way!

After I got home from taking him to his group, and had turned his fans off, I checked his bathroom trash can.  Yes, I knew it!  He had thrown away his upside down confetti body wash that still has days and days of showers left.  Now that bottle of confetti body wash is perched upside down once again in his shower.  I am not easily defeated.

Problem is, neither is Aaron.  Things could get hot around here!  Wonder if he’d let me borrow his little fan?