Category: Adult Autism

Big Red Gum…….And Forgiveness

I want to share something that happened yesterday morning with Aaron.  This incident gave a glimpse into several aspects of his autism, and also taught me yet another valuable life lesson.  Aaron does have a way of teaching me things that stay with me for a long time……..and sometimes hopefully forever.

I had an obligation at church on Monday and Tuesday that prevented me from taking Aaron to meet his day group.  I arranged for his driver to pick him up at our house.  But on Monday I realized that I could drive Aaron to meet his group, and so that night I told Aaron that I would be driving him the next morning.  He likes that arrangement better and so he was very happy. 

As I got ready yesterday morning……Tuesday……I decided that I would just go over to the church a little early.  I hadn’t contacted Aaron’s driver concerning the changes yet, so I decided to just leave things the way they were and have Craig come to our house like we had planned.  Knowing how Aaron sometimes reacts to changes, I realized that he might not like this idea very well.  First the driver was coming to the house……then I said that I would take him…….and now I was back to the driver coming here.  Up and down………..changes, changes………….and I know better.  Aaron’s rigid thinking doesn’t allow for change very easily.  I was soon to see this reality in full display.

I walked into Aaron’s room, where he was watching a video, and I chirped happily to him that I was going to go on to church early and that Craig would just come  to the house to pick him up.  And in his low, monotone voice, Aaron said, “You’re a liar.”

This flat proclamation was a forerunner of trouble, and I knew it.  What made me think that somehow Aaron would be accepting of this idea?  Did I suppose that his rigid way of thinking would somehow disappear this time?  Silly me!  But I responded with more cheer than I felt as I told him that sometimes things change and that this would work out just fine.  Right, Aaron?  And his voice went up a notch as he answered, “But you lied!”

Now no amount of reasoning with Aaron would dissuade him from his notion that I had lied to him.  I told him that I would take him to meet his group, and then I said I was not taking him to meet his group.  Aaron’s dots don’t connect, disconnect, and reconnect the way that mine do.  I can’t jerk him along with all these changes of plans and expect him to comply the way that others would.  Nope.  Not gonna do it. 

We walked downstairs, where Aaron took his pills and where I had poured his coffee.  Happy Mom was quickly becoming frustrated Mom as Aaron slowly escalated from calling me a liar to declaring his feelings for his lying mother.  There was no mistaking those feelings, either, as he declared, “I hate you!”  Now this isn’t something I am proud to admit that Aaron said, but this is Aaron being totally blunt and unfiltered. 
He truly doesn’t hate me, but it’s all he knows to say in order to show me that he is very frustrated.  Aaron won’t sit down and look me in the eye as he shares his heart with me in a level, kind voice.  He isn’t able to express his feelings properly, so he resorts to what his heart is telling him.  Mom said this, then she said that, and then she went back to this.  I am so confused and disappointed and mad!  Mom is a liar!  I hate Mom!

This one-sided verbal assault went on for several minutes.  I interjected a calming word here and there, but Aaron would have none of it.  And I realized that I had actually created this situation by disregarding what I know about Aaron, and by not following the special Aaron rules that I normally follow.  I had failed, and I was paying the price.  So I told Aaron that I would take him to meet Craig, but I also told him that I was hurt by his words.  He also could tell that I was hurt by the look on my face and the sound of my voice.  He does know how to read those clues after living with me for all these years.

I went into my bathroom and shut the door.  I heard Aaron walking up the hall, and then soon walking back to my room.  Then he said, “Here Mom.  This is for you.”  I looked down as I heard a noise outside the bathroom door, and there under the door Aaron slid a pack of his special Big Red gum.  I knew instantly that this was a peace offering……….Aaron’s way of saying that he was sorry.  And he actually said, “I”m sorry, Mom.” 

I opened the door, and there he stood……relaxed and hopeful.  His anger was gone.  Was it because he got his way, I wondered?  So I started to hand him back the gum, but he said, “No.  I want you to keep it.  I’m sorry, Mom.”  And I knew that no matter what his motive was, Aaron had given me an apology that I needed to accept.  There are some things I must do because Aaron is my son……..there are things I must do because they are right………..and there are things I must do because God says to do them.  Sometimes it’s all of the above. 

Later yesterday afternoon, my heart was hurt over another incident.  Tears filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.  As I reached in my purse to get my keys, I saw the pack of Big Red gum.  I could even smell the strong cinnamon flavor coming out of my purse.  I thought about forgiveness at that moment…….of how important it is to ask for forgiveness and likewise how important it is to extend forgiveness, even if true motives aren’t totally clear.  And of how our obedience to God, regardless of the circumstances, is said in scripture to be a sweet smell to Him……..a sweet savor of sacrifice. 

I may not ever chew that Big Red gum.  I may keep it as a reminder of my Aaron who sought forgiveness and showed his sorrow by sliding Big Red gum under my bathroom door.  And as a reminder of the forgiving that I was allowed to extend today to that person from yesterday who asked for my forgiveness.


There’s some more sweet smelling savor going up to heaven.  I wonder if it smells like Big Red gum?

Rosie’s Birthday Dinner

Last week I got a special phone call.  Many of you remember Aaron’s very special friend at his day group……..Rosie.  Rosie’s real name is Rosa, but Aaron has always called her Rosie……which I find to be endearing.  Aaron and Rosie are very special friends, and as their friendship has grown, Aaron has struggled with whether or not they are girlfriend/boyfriend, or just good friends.  We always tell Aaron to simply relax and enjoy being friends with Rosie.

The phone call was from Rosie’s mother, Louise.  She and her husband were inviting us to go out and eat dinner with them and with Rosie in honor of Rosie’s birthday.   After we hung up, I went up to Aaron’s room and told him the exciting news.  He listened and then he shifted his body and hung his head.  He didn’t know how to handle this great news, but the smile on his face spoke volumes.  He didn’t even have to say a word for me to know how pleased he was.  But of course, he soon found his tongue! 

“So Rosie’s mom called and wants me to come to Rosie’s birthday?” he asked.  And when I confirmed that this was true, he wanted to know where we were going to go eat and what day and what time.  Then I told him what Rosie’s mom had suggested as a gift for Rosie when I asked her for some ideas.   Aaron wasn’t at all surprised when I told him that he could get Rosie some crayons and a coloring book for her birthday gift.  He knows how much Rosie loves crayons.  Aaron was happy with that idea, and so we planned to go shopping on Friday night.

Aaron picked out the box of 24 crayons and a bag of candy.  Then we found the coloring books, and he dismissed several before saying yes to a Disney one.  As we shopped, I thought of how normal and sweet and natural this was.  Shopping for a special friend for her birthday, and picking out just the right gift, was not only a nice thing to do…………but it was a confirmation to Aaron that he was a special friend to Rosie.   To Aaron, it was perfectly natural to be choosing crayons and candy and a coloring book for Rosie.  You would have thought he was pondering over a beautiful diamond necklace as he said no, maybe, and finally yes to just the perfect coloring book.

As is typical for Aaron, over the next few days he talked a lot about the upcoming birthday dinner with Rosie and her parents.  Over and over again, we confirmed the day and the time and the location.  Finally Tuesday, THE day, arrived.  Aaron bounded in the door when he returned home from his day group, and he immediately asked me if we were still going to Rosie’s birthday dinner.  He and I got Rosie’s special gifts all situated in a pretty gift bag.  Aaron had previously picked out Rosie’s card.  Of all the girly, pretty choices he had – Aaron chose a card with spiders on the front.  He wouldn’t change his mind, so spiders it was for Rosie!   He seriously signed her card, including his last name as he always does.  
        
It wasn’t long before Gary got home, and off we headed for Chili’s………..with Aaron making sure that one of his favorite CD’s was playing in the van.  Soon we were seated in the large booth with Leroy and Louise, and with Rosie.   Rosie was eyeing the gift bag that was perched on the end of the table, while Aaron was beside himself with excitement.  He was very loud and was talking non-stop………..sure signs of great excitement.  Rosie was calm and level, while Aaron’s volume kept increasing and his mouth wouldn’t stop. 

Finally we ordered our meals while we kept telling Aaron to speak quietly………and no, Aaron, don’t talk about that and no, don’t talk about this.  His soft voice and filters were nonexistent at the moment!  Rosie got to open her gift and her card, and was very happy with the crayons and the coloring book and card.  She immediately opened the crayons and checked them out, holding some and examining others.  Aaron continued to talk loudly, while Rosie calmly reminded her mom of things to tell us about………..a wedding, a shower, a baby, a shot in her arm.  Aaron was pulling items out of his pockets that he had secretly brought to show to Rosie’s mom.  Somehow we parents managed to visit a little, too, as we monitored our adult “kids” in their eating and their talking……..especially Aaron with the talking, and the show and tell!


I wondered what others who were seated around us thought of all the noise (mostly from Aaron!) and the general excitement at our table.  I wonder if anyone else saw what was really happening at our table.  Life was happening……..normal for our Aaron and Rosie, no matter how unusual it might seem to others.  Despite Aaron’s loudness and bluster, he has a tender place in his heart for Rosie.  He showed it again last week, when he wanted to take Rosie some candy and I said no, reminding him that Rosie’s mom wants her to eat healthy food.  And before I knew it,  Aaron had two apples in his hands to take to Rosie. 

There we sat in that booth, enjoying the friendship of our Aaron and Rosie.  But it went far beyond the surface for all of us parents, I’m sure.  Friendships of any kind, and especially tender feelings, are rare for our special children.  Aaron and Rosie are comfortable in their relationship.  There they were, with Aaron noisily talking and Rosie calmly joining in when she could or when she wanted.  Rosie reminded Aaron of things to talk about – as if he needed it!  They were both relaxed in their own way, with Rosie pushing back her pretty pink cap and showing us her beautiful brown eyes……..a sign that she was becoming comfortable.  And Aaron………always comfortable as long as he can talk.

As we left Chili’s, I asked Aaron and Rosie if I could take their picture.  I took a couple shots, and finally asked for one more.  Then Rosie did the sweetest thing as she stood there by Aaron, some crayons in her hand.  She put her arm around Aaron’s shoulders………and Aaron beamed!  After the picture, he bolted……….so funny!  But the joy on their faces was unmistakable and priceless. 
 
It still warms our hearts, and I’m sure it warms Leroy and Louise as well.  It goes beyond birthday dinners and crayons and spider cards.  It goes deep into the human connections that we all need, including our often lonely special children.  Aaron can be annoying as he tries to tease and as he talks too much.  But somehow he has found a special connection to Rosie, and I believe she has found that with Aaron, too.  So we are thankful for this fresh breath of special friendship that they share, and for how God has let them be a part of each other’s lives at this time. 

I don’t even think Aaron said goodbye as he bolted toward the van.  Yet Rosie isn’t encumbered with all those expectations that crowd our usual female brains.  Sometimes their world is to be preferred as they function on a much less complex level.  Rosie had her crayons, and Aaron had his good meal with lots of talking.   And we parents had a warmth in our hearts over time well spent with our special kids and their special friendship. 

Coupon Craziness

I recently re-posted a much earlier blog I wrote about how Aaron cuts out coupons for me that are in the Sunday morning newspaper.  Coupon cutting has been his Sunday job for many years and he has refined it into an exact science all his own.  Aaron’s autism is in full display as he tries very hard to cut exactly on the dotted lines, and then has multiple containers for the various large and small pieces of paper.  He still takes the thin strips of paper that are left after cutting on the dotted lines, and he cuts those strips into small pieces as he holds the paper over his “small paper” container.   He enjoys watching the tiny pieces of cut paper fall into the container.  What would take me maybe 15 minutes to cut will take Aaron much, much longer because of these tireless coupon-cutting rituals that he performs. 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                The actual coupons that he saves for me are placed carefully into a little plastic box that has a lid…….placed very carefully and in just a certain way.  He prefers that only current coupons go into this box……….coupons that he cuts out on that particular Sunday.  He has occasionally mixed new coupons into the old if I haven’t had time to empty and file away the current coupons that are in the box.

Such was not the case this past Sunday.  I walked into the kitchen and there on the table I saw a messy stack of coupons.  When Aaron walked into the kitchen later, he pointed to the coupon pile and said, “Mom, those are the old coupons that were in the box.”  Knowing what he had done and why he had done it – but wanting him to tell me himself –  I asked him why the coupons were on the table.

He patiently explained to his silly mother that he had dumped the coupons out of the box………but still he didn’t admit why he had done such a thing.  I finally asked him why the dumped coupons couldn’t go into the box and he told his still silly mother, “Because they are the OLD coupons!” 

Still playing dumb, I asked, “So can I just put the old coupons in the coupon box now?”  That crazy question caused him to firmly shake his head no and then say, “No!”………just in case, since I was silly, I might not understand the firm shaking of his head. 

Just to be certain, I asked, “So the old coupons can’t be mixed in with the new coupons?”  And again came the firm shake of his head and his even firmer, “No!”  I know that it’s best to play by Aaron’s rules in these matters that have no serious consequence, so I left the coupons out for a couple days, in plain sight.  Later, I put them away in the box in which I file my coupons so that Aaron wouldn’t by some chance find that I had disobeyed his coupon orders by mixing the old and the new together. 

If there are some good coupons in the Sunday paper, I will sometimes buy a second paper.  Aaron used to cut out all the sets of coupons that I had gathered, but over the past few months he has gotten tired of all that cutting.  One full set seems to be enough for him.  One Sunday, I came home with a second paper.  Aaron saw the extra coupons, and so proceeded to get out his scissors and all his special coupon-cutting containers.  However, it wasn’t long before he was tired.  He didn’t finish all those coupons.  I told him that it was fine, that I would just cut them out later.  This did not sit well with Aaron.  He is the chief coupon cutter……….not Mom!  He began to get angry, so I just let the matter drop.  Later, as I walked through the family room, I saw that the unfinished stack of coupons was gone.

Now I know Aaron very well and I somehow knew what he had done.  Sneaking up to his empty room, I carefully opened his desk drawer and sure enough there they were………..the missing coupons were tucked away in his drawer.  He was not going to cut them out, but he was NOT going to let his silly mother cut them either.  Mom doesn’t even cut on the lines half the time!!  I very quietly eased the coupons out and softly shut the drawer.  I cautiously walked downstairs.  Good!  No sight of Aaron!  I went to Gary’s study and was in the process of sharing the coupon escapade with him when I heard the unmistakable thump, thump, thump of Aaron hurrying down the stairs!

I hid the coupons behind me as Aaron entered the study and I acted like nothing at all was amiss.  But as I tried to slyly walk around Aaron and escape, he spied the papers in my hand.  “What is that?!” he suspiciously asked.  I felt like a teenager who got caught trying to smuggle something forbidden past her parents.  “Oh,” I casually answered, “it’s just the coupons.”  And in a flash, Aaron lunged out and grabbed them from me.  Wow! He was very angry!  As I tried to reason with him, he escalated quickly.  Gary and I were both taken by surprise. 

“I’ll cut them out!!” he yelled.  And as we tried to reason with him, he became more and more upset…………until finally he wadded most of the coupons up into a wrinkled mess.  Gary and I hadn’t seen that coming!  But Aaron’s reasoning was clear now……….if he couldn’t cut out the coupons, NO ONE could cut out the coupons.  He finally relinquished the crumpled coupons and we were able to get him to calm down, but not before he was in tears and was an emotional mess.  Somehow the rest of the evening was salvaged and things returned to normal.  And I learned a big lesson.

I learned that if I buy another Sunday paper, I have to be as sly as Aaron.  Gary and I sometimes stop by the store and get another paper, but now we might leave it in the car until the coast inside the house is clear.  In other words, until we can furtively sneak the paper into the house without Aaron seeing it.   Or we’ll bring the newspaper in the house, but quickly hide it before Aaron sees what’s in the bag.  The other day, I had the extra paper in full view on the table when Aaron bounded down the stairs.  I quickly hid the paper on the chair, out of Aaron’s sight, again feeling like a reckless teenager hiding a secret stash of cigarettes or something from Mom and Dad. 

  
All of this for coupons!  Oh, and for our peace of mind………..both Aaron’s, and Gary’s and mine.  I never dreamed I’d be hiding coupons from my 28 year old son.

But then I never dreamed I’d have such a unique son as Aaron, either.      

Seeing the Wonder

 

Aaron woke up a little earlier than usual this morning.  I heard him come slowly to my bedroom and knock on the door.  He knocked because the door was locked……….otherwise he would have bolted right in……….which is why I had the door locked.  Anyway, he immediately wanted to show me something about his lip.  His lips are chapped and during the night his lower lip cracked and bled some.  Aaron twisted his mouth sideways as he attempted to show me his damaged lip, and then he silently pointed to the dried blood on his lower lip and on the side of his mouth.
 
Satisfied that I was appropriately impressed, he said, “Mom!  There’s blood on my pillow!”  And with that, he strode with purpose back to his room and returned carrying his large body pillow that he loves.  Sure enough, there was a big spot of blood on the white pillowcase.  To be sure that I understood, he explained, “Mom, the lip area was on that pillow area.” 
 
I thanked him for explaining that, and told him that we would get him a new pillow this evening.  He knew that we had a Wal-Mart trip planned when he returns from Paradigm, so this news of a pillow purchase made him very happy.
 
He and I went downstairs to the kitchen, where I poured his coffee while he took his morning pills.  He spied some boiled eggs in a pot in the sink.  “Mom, what are those?  Eggs?” 
 
“Yes, Aaron, those are eggs.  Do you want one?” I asked.
 
He looked down at the eggs and replied, “No.  I want some……….not one.”
 
I laughed.  He was serious. 
 
“What number is some?”  he asked. 
 
Again I laughed.  Again he was serious. 
 
“How about two?” I queried.
 
“Can I have three?”  he countered.
 
And so I guess that to Aaron, some is not two.  Some is at least three.
 
I agreed that he could have three and then asked him if he wanted them sliced. 
 
“Yes,” he replied, “with that harp.”
 
 
This time I smiled with my back to Aaron as I got out the egg “harp.”  He was still serious about this matter of “some” eggs, while I was again enjoying how fun Aaron’s world can be.  He takes the most mundane of matters and makes it so distinctive. 
 
Later, we drove to meet his group and listened to my Carpenter’s CD.  He was talking about a movie where a robot from the future comes back to the present, and he said, “How come he doesn’t know what type of year it is?”  Just then, I heard the Carpenters sing,”…….there is wonder in most everything I see……”
 
That would be a perfect description of Aaron.  He either sees wonder in everything or he’s wondering about everything, but his take on life is so interesting.
 
Just like us with Aaron.  We’re either scratching or pounding our heads in wonder, or laughing at the wonder of the world that Aaron sees and shares.  I guess he keeps our brains sharp as we try to follow his thinking.  And with that I’ll close.
 
I need to go dry and put away the egg harp.

Autism Awareness at Our House

It was 14 years ago that I sat in the exam room of a pediatric neurologist in Tucson, Arizona.  I tried to talk quickly to him about the reason that I was there, because the reason that I was there was sitting by himself out in the waiting room.  There sat Aaron………..or at least I hoped he was sitting and not roaming……….all by himself while I tried to convey to this new doctor our concerns for Aaron.  There were things that I didn’t want Aaron to hear coming from his mother’s lips.  I didn’t mind talking in his presence about the seizures that he had battled for 7 years.  Seizures were out of his control……..out of our control………no matter what drugs he was currently taking.  Seizures were a medical issue.  But his behaviors that were increasingly disruptive and odd…….his social awkwardness and lack of friends during this pivotal time of puberty……….his rages and his strange obsessions………..these were issues that I did not want to discuss in his presence.  My mother’s heart hurt for him and I refused for my son to hear me talk about him in this way.

Gary and I had taken Aaron to many military doctors since his first seizure.  His care was good, we thought.  But as he grew, he was more and more different.  We blamed his differences on the seizures or the seizure drugs, but more and more we weren’t so sure.  Finally, stationed in southeast Arizona at Fort Huachuca, we had reached the end of our rope.  Gary was having to drive five hours one way to take Aaron to the closest military pediatric neurologist in El Paso, Texas.  Aaron’s seizures were worsening, and his strange behaviors were increasingly alarming to us.  We requested to be allowed to see a civilian peds neurologist and the military approved.
 
So there I sat in Dr. Gray’s exam room in Tucson, telling this new doctor about my unusual son and sharing my concerns.  As we talked, the door opened and an assistant stuck her head in the room.  “Uh,” she said, “can Aaron come in with you now?  He’s out in the waiting room dismantling the artificial tree in the corner.”  I was not at all surprised, although embarrassed.  That would be exactly what he would be doing and I knew it.  So Aaron was nicely ushered into the room with me and Dr. Gray, where he sat on the exam table and let this new doctor begin his check-up.  Within a few minutes, Dr. Gray turned to me and said, “I know exactly what this is.  Aaron has Asperger’s Syndrome!”  This nice doctor may as well have been speaking Russian to me.  I had no idea what this strange syndrome was.  When I asked him to explain, he did just that in three words that changed our lives……..”Aaron has autism.”  I was stunned, and remember very little of the rest of our visit……..except I do distinctly remember standing in the hall with Dr. Gray as he had Aaron walk down the hall.  The doctor pointed out that even Aaron’s unusual gait confirmed this diagnosis.

Later that night, after all the kids were in bed, Gary and I talked at length about this new diagnosis.  And I cried, just as I cried when Aaron was diagnosed in Germany with Epilepsy.  One hard, gut-wrenching cry……….and then I dried my eyes and smiled in front of Aaron and off we marched into this unknown future.  But I wasn’t alone.  I had Gary by my side and we marched and we learned together.  And most importantly, we had God by both our sides.  My special verses in Psalm 18:28-29 became even more relevant to me:  “For it is You Who light my lamp; the Lord my God lightens my darkness.  For by You I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall.”  And God has repeatedly done just that.  He has lightened many a dark moment, and He has given us giant leaps over lots of walls that we thought were impossible to scale. 

It’s not been easy over the years to live with Aaron.  As we have tried to teach Aaron how to adapt some of his thinking and his behaviors to our world, it is most often the rest of us that have found ourselves adjusting to Aaron’s world.  It seems that no matter what we say or teach or emulate, there are some of Aaron’s traits and behaviors that will be a part of him forever.  Some of his behaviors are very frustrating………some are very embarrassing……..and some are very funny.  Over the years, we have relaxed with Aaron and have learned to smile and to laugh at many of the things he says and does.

This month of April is Autism Awareness Month.  Well, there are plenty of times that Aaron raises our autism awareness, whether we want it raised or not!  For instance, on any given trip to Wal-Mart, you will know that you are with Aaron for these reasons:

1.  As you walk across the crosswalk to the Wal-Mart doors, Aaron just might hold both his arms out as he stops in the middle of the crosswalk……….proudly thinking that he is stopping the traffic just like a policeman does…….with his head up high and a very serious look on his face.

2.  Upon entering the store, Aaron looks at the security camera and holds up both hands as he gives the peace sign, grinning broadly.

3.  If you hear some of the cereal boxes in the cool display at the end of the aisle start hitting the floor, you’re not one bit surprised to turn and see Aaron standing there, saying, “Mom!  Look!  Chocolate cheerios!!”………….as he holds up one box that didn’t fall and is oblivious to the ones laying on the floor all around him.

4.  If you hear a loud fox whistle, you know that Aaron is near………….unaware of the girls who turn and stare at him.  He just thinks the fox whistle is cool.

5.  If you hear a very loud clap, you know that Aaron is in the store…………again not one bit concerned about the number of people who are eying him suspiciously.

6.  If you walk past little sexy nighties  that are displayed for Valentine’s Day right beside a busy center aisle, and you hear someone say, “Mom!”………….and you turn to find Aaron holding up the tiger print nightie while he yells, “You need this!”…………you know that you are with Aaron and you know that you are wishing for a hole to swallow you at that moment. 

7.  If you send Aaron to get a package of the rolls that he likes, and you see him walking toward you with his hands full of packages of rolls, you just laugh and realize once again that Aaron will take full advantage of every opportunity given to him.


8.  If you hear someone yell, “Mom!”  and you are anywhere near the produce department, you know that you will turn to see him holding up an eggplant or maybe an artichoke or a coconut…….and wanting you to buy it. 

I have never liked drawing attention to myself in public, so living with Aaron has been a lesson in remaining calm and trying not to be embarrassed……..and remembering to coach Aaron as we enter public places about not whistling or clapping or making that farting noise with his mouth.  And not striking up conversations with random people, for Aaron does love to talk to anyone on whom he spies ears on the sides of their head.
 
Aaron definitely does not have non-verbal autism.  Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk…………on some days, especially when he is at home all day, it can get very tiring.  If friends come over, we eventually have to almost get rude in order to make Aaron hush and let the rest of us talk.  However, in the midst of all that talking, he does make some hilarious comments.  His way of expressing the world that he observes can be very amazing, really.  For instance, here a few recent comments from Aaron:

1.  “Isn’t it a legend that Huskies were used for dashing?”

2.  “I heard on Forensic Files that some people make artificial money!”

3.  “Mom!  I looked up the Archie’s on the internet!  Can I show you someday today?”

4.  Speaking of jello, he said, “Do you like that wiggly pudding?  It’s bouncy!”

5.  Realizing that he had numbers on the back of his shirt – “I didn’t know I had something behind me on my back while I was doing coupons.”

6.  Calling me a funny name one day – “Mom, I’m not trying to name call you.  I’m trying to do a teasing.”

7.  Noticing a hole in Krysten’s pants – “Mom, look!  Krysten’s pants are broken!”

I could go on and on about the things that Aaron says.  And oh, the things that Aaron does……….day in and day out, without fail.

1.  He loves to wear his watch halfway up his arm.  One day recently he said, “Mom, I don’t wear my watch up high anymore.  You know why?  It was trapping the blood!”  But he does still wear it up high, trapped blood or not.

2.  He relaxes by sitting in the mulch, breaking it into tiny pieces and watching them fall into the trash can that is just for that purpose.

3.  He will always get multiple pieces of silverware when he eats, using only one piece for each food item.  Even when eating pizza, for instance, he will have his pieces of silverware near his plate.  And a straw for his drink – always!


4.  He takes delight in the simplest things, like a special rock that he found one day. 


5.  He loves our Great Dane, Jackson, and will pet him……….and try to give him Skittles or peanuts or

Chex Mix  or whatever else he may be eating at any given moment.


6.  He loves Wheel of Fortune, and will watch it now every night………clapping VERY loudly and yelling VERY loudly…….and working hard to figure out every comment and facial expression of the hosts and contestants…….and still wondering if Vanna and Pat are married because they are always on beaches together!

7.  He loves to go out and take a walk with his dad……….talking all the while, of course.
8.  He wants to play Skip-Bo every night………..although we don’t play EVERY night, much to his dismay.

These are just partial lists of what Aaron says and does.  It’s impossible, really, to fully explain Aaron.  He is very complex while also being very predictable at times.  He is a unique young man and he has shown us a different world than I would ever have imagined.  Would I have chosen this path years ago if God had given me a choice?  I sometimes doubt that I would have, yet I think of all that I would have missed and realize that this path truly has been amazing. 

Verse 30 of Psalm 18 says:  “This God – His way is perfect…..”   Yes, His way has been perfect for us.  Easy?  No.  But somehow perfect – yes. 

And this Aaron – he is so special and we do love him very much.  

Roller Coasters and Masterpieces

I’ve been on a roller coaster ride this morning.  Not literally, of course, but being around Aaron leaves me with that up and down roller coaster feeling……….and with that sensation of wobbly legs you feel when you get off the roller coaster, but also the satisfaction of saying, “I did it!!” 

First, there was surprise.  I heard Aaron get up and open his bedroom door.  I was sure that he would come down the stairs to join me in the kitchen, but instead I heard the bathroom door close and then the shower running.  Usually he holds off on showering for as long as possible, hoping on many days to avoid it altogether.  That’s why I was surprised to hear him taking a shower right away, willingly.   Then when he came downstairs he was actually clean.  I can always look at his hair to tell if he has showered.  That was surprise number two……the fact that he really did shower while the water was running.  And that he was in a good mood.

I soon learned why he was in such a willing, compliant frame of mind.  “Mom, can I have the keyboard this morning?”  Oh, yes, his motives are becoming clear.  He’s happy because it’s Saturday and he’s compliant because he wants his keyboard sooner rather than later.  I told him that he could have his keyboard, and then he asked, “So when can I have it?”  And I told him that I would see about that………..and asked him about breakfast.  Gary and I had earlier enjoyed an omelet and bacon, so I asked Aaron if he wanted some of that yummy omelet and he said no……….but he said yes to the bacon, of course.

He proceeded to get a huge plate for his two pieces of bacon that were already on a plate, but Aaron can’t use the plate that the bacon was already on because he must have a new plate…….and the roller coaster started slowly chugging up the first incline.  He poured himself some cereal and dumped milk in the bowl……..lots of milk.  I usually ask him if he wants some cereal with his milk, but this funny saying is wasted on Aaron so this morning I saved my breath.

“So have you decided when I can have my keyboard, Mom?”  And he clicked his teeth with his spoon because he can’t stand to get his lips messy………chug, chug goes the car on the roller coaster. 

I don’t know about the keyboard, Aaron………as he slurps his milky cereal and I try to ignore the irritating sounds.  It does no good to remind Aaron to not click his spoon or slurp his cereal.  When I do remind him, he just slowly puts the spoon in his mouth and ever so carefully scrapes it over his teeth……with his lips bared back from his teeth like a rabid dog.  It’s quite a sight and not one that I want to see this morning. 

Aaron got up to get his coffee, and of course spilled some on the floor.  That, and the fact that he fed Jackson a cheerio when he knows that he’s not supposed to feed Jackson our food……..even one cheerio because with Aaron it will turn into multiple cheerios……….made my chugging roller coaster car go over the first hill and come barreling down the other side.  He can’t help the shaky hands that spill the coffee……and I guess in some ways he can’t handle the impulsiveness that makes him feed the dog.  Still, so frustrating! 

“So Mom, did you decide when I can have my keyboard?” he asked as I swiffered up the spilled coffee.  My threatening look was answer enough for him, so he was quiet for a few seconds before launching off on his favorite topic……..food!  Yesterday when he came home from his group, he loudly pushed the door open and loudly exclaimed, “I’M FULL!!!”    Tell me something else I don’t know, Aaron.  So as he loudly slurped his coffee this morning, he said, “Mom, Allen said he likes those one hot dogs that are called Bratwurst.  I’m guessing a Bratwurst is a pig, right?” 

Continuing on after discussing pig Bratwurst, he moved along to what he saw at the store.  “Mom, guess what I saw in the dairy section?  It was that bean casserole.  On top of it is that thing that’s kind of crunchy.” 

And……”Mom, at Long John Silvers they have those Hush Puppies.  You have to curl the bread into a ball.”

Still at Long John Silvers………”Mom, John likes that fish that you have to pull the tail off!!”

Then I later turned around to see him holding the cantaloupe that he saw on the counter.  “Mom, I want you to open it!”

We finally headed upstairs, but not before Aaron had to check the weather in the newspaper.  This is very important to Aaron.  He saw that we have a chance for rain, so he had to discuss and discuss what this means.  “A chance means it’s not really!”  And we’ll just leave it at that, Aaron.  All these discussions are wearing me down as my roller coaster car is inching up another incline……….nearing another downhill lurch that lay just ahead.

We walked into my bedroom and for some reason, Aaron picked up a pin on my desk and scribbled on my box that is a part of my new desk set.  He knew right away that he had goofed big time as I gasped.  I went on and on about why he did that as I tried to scrub the ink stain out, and poor old Aaron just went into overdrive with his talking.  This is the way he handles the stress of a major blunder.  His impulsiveness has gotten him into hot water and Mom is not happy………..and he knew the keyboard was in jeopardy.  My roller coaster car was crashing down the steep incline as I tried to hang on and not lose control or lose my temper.  He did what he does best……………talking in the fastest speed that he could muster. 

Well, soon it was over.  Aaron was happy on his computer, pecking away on his keyboard.  I stared down at my blotched box, hoping that the ink stain would be gone when it all dried.  I thought of the marks that Aaron leaves on my life.   Some are welcome works of art, and others are carelessly splattered dabs of ink that are reminders of frustrations and anger.  Yet all can be used to create a masterpiece painting if I let God have them.  I need to wipe away the marks that bring defeat or that can cause hurt to Aaron……….difficult as that can be at times.  Ignore the clicking teeth and slurping noises even as I remind him to stop, and sit back to enjoy his conversation and listen to his unique expressions of the world he sees.
 
The roller coaster of life with Aaron can take my breath away, but I pray that it’s more often because of laughter and delight instead of anger and reprimand.  And I’ll wipe away the ugly marks, and strive to leave none of those on Aaron’s life, as well. 

Let God’s artistry shine!  And hang on for the ride!

I Don’t Know. I Don’t Know. I Don’t Know.

I haven’t written much lately.  The inspiration to write comes and goes.  Time constraints……..other obligations…………..burdens and concerns that sap my motivation………….feeling like there is really nothing new to say.  Yet with Aaron, there is always something to say, whether it’s exactly new or not.  How that son of ours loves to talk!  Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in his words, many spoken in his monotone voice that can lull me into a zombie state in no time.  For instance, Star Wars Commando Republic…….oh my goodness, if I could only fully describe his focus on this particular game right now. 

He has been playing Star Wars Commando Republic on his computer over the past several weeks.  And talking about it, over and over and over and over.  I don’t understand the game………I don’t know the various players………..I can’t distinguish between the good guys and the bad guys…….and furthermore, I truly don’t care.  But this game is Aaron’s particular focus right now and so I hear about the game – I hear about the various players – I hear about the good guys and the bad guys……..constantly…….whether I care or not.

“Mom, did you know that the Transdoshans……….?”  And off he goes, while I mentally am a million miles removed from Transdoshans.  Then I hear Aaron saying, “Right, Mom?”  And he waits for my answer.  There often is none.  So the question is repeated and I end up usually giving a profound answer, such as, “I don’t know, Aaron.”  Which only gives Aaron the go-ahead to repeat all that he just said about Transdoshans for his rather slow mother. 

Sometimes I get creative and instead of saying, “I don’t know, Aaron,” I will say, “I’m not sure, Aaron,” and the result is the same………..Aaron educates me once again about the subject of Transdoshans or Advisors or Geonosians  or whatever it is he calls all those various characters.  Other times I say, “Well, Aaron, you’re the one who has played this game and knows all about the characters, so I’m sure you know the answer much better than I do.”  And yes, he does know the answer better than I do, so he proceeds to share it with me in his monotone voice that again sends me into outer space with my fellow Transdoshans, floating in a mental no-man’s land.

He came downstairs this morning as I sat at the computer, thinking that maybe I would write a little.  He wasn’t thumping down the stairs in his usual loud way, but coming slowly and as quietly as he can be.  He was trying to “scare” me, so I played along and gave a fake gasp as he walked over and touched my shoulder.  He laughed and then launched immediately into how he went to bed early and how he slept well and how he got to such-and-such a level on Star Wars Republic Commando………..and I knew I was trapped.  Before I was able to herd him upstairs toward the bathroom and his shower, I had looked up a video of Star Wars Republic Commando and observed the Advisor and had dissected everything about the Advisor…….how he talks, why he looks like a ghost, what his job is, why he advises, what he advises about, and how he advises using headphones, and on and on and on………..zzzzzzzzzz.

Aaron even knows that player 40 or 4.0………I don’t know………is an expert on “slicing into computers.”   Player 62 is an expert in fighting.   Player 07 is an expert on shooting.  And I know that Player Aaron is an expert on all things related to Star Wars Republic Commando and that he wants his mom to be an expert, also, but this is not happening.  None of this computes in this brain of mine, and so Aaron continues to instruct his mom and repeat all this information to his mom and talk, talk, talk, talk to his mom………and his mom still says, “Uh, I don’t know, Aaron.” 

Last week, on Tuesday, I ordered what we thought was the cheat code/guidebook for Star Wars Republic Commando off of Amazon.  This was after looking for it on many web sites……….many, many web sites.  Eureka!!  We found it!  Then I knew, as Aaron hovered over my shoulder to make sure that I ordered the book, what his next question would be.  There are some things that I do know.  And yes, Aaron asked, as I pressed the “submit order” button, “Mom, when will the book come in the mail?” 

I answered, “It will probably come sometime next week.”  Aaron grabbed on to the word “week” and since I ordered the book on Tuesday, Aaron said, “So the guidebook will come next week on Tuesday?”  So I had to explain that by saying “week,” I didn’t necessarily mean a literal week from the day it was ordered……….that saying “next week” means any day during that next week……….not just a literal week of 7 days.  But Aaron was in the same comatose state as I tried to explain about “week” as I am in when he tries to explain Transdoshans.
 
Every single day since I ordered the book, and many times during every single one of those days, Aaron would ask, “Mom, is that guidebook coming on Tuesday?”  And every single day that Aaron would ask that same question, I would answer the same way every single time, “Aaron, I don’t know.”  It was futile to explain the literal week concept again………..except that it did cause Aaron to be quiet for a short period of time.

One day he said, “I can’t wait til that guidebook comes.  That’s not my fault that I can’t wait!”  No, Aaron, it’s not your fault.  And don’t you know, the guidebook finally arrived……….on Monday!  Not even exactly a week from the day it was ordered, but thankfully he didn’t really even care about that confusion.  He was very happy to have his book………and I was very happy to not hear the questions over and over every single day about when the book would arrive. 

The staff at his day group is also hearing all about Star Wars Republic Commando.  He came home yesterday carrying some cheat codes that Barb had found for him on her computer.  She had printed them out and he was happy as he could be.  I’m thankful that Aaron is surrounded by people who understand him, and help him, and make sure that his life is happy.

He will continue to expound on Star Wars Republic Commando and I will continue to say, “Uh, I don’t know,” and he will continue to try to help his clueless mom understand all the ins and outs of this favorite game of his.  But I do know that I understand Aaron and I can explain Aaron at least to some degree. 

And I know that I love Aaron, even with all his quirky ways and his obsessions that drive me into oblivion.  I better run upstairs now and finish getting ready…………and finish listening to more about Star Wars Republic Commando before I wave goodbye to Aaron for the day and leave the listening to other tired ears for a few hours.

I wonder if they know any more than I do about Transdoshans or Geonosians?     

One In A Million

I was enjoying the peace of this early Saturday morning, finishing up listening to an on-line sermon by my brother, when I heard Aaron coming rather softly down the stairs.  Doing anything softly is unusual for Aaron.  I held up my index finger, signaling for Aaron to be quiet – something else unusual for Aaron to do – but he surprised me by not speaking………for at least several seconds.  He stood there scratching instead until I made my “yuck face” and he stopped.  He actually let me finish the last few minutes of the sermon without interrupting too much, but once he heard Uncle John pray he knew that he was now allowed to be center stage. 

We said our good mornings…….well, I said good morning while Aaron launched right into using all of his stored-up words.  You know, Aaron even talks in his sleep – seriously, he does.  But it’s not nearly enough to use all the words that clamor around in his brain, so he wakes up raring to talk.  After giving him some options, he decided that he wanted cinnamon toast for breakfast.  I told him to go take a shower while I fixed his toast.  I nearly always set out Aaron’s clothes the night before, and I set them out because Aaron is color blind………as well as being totally clueless about anything remotely to do with the coordination of clothing.  However, last night I did not set out his clothes, so when I told him to shower, he replied, “Mom, you didn’t pick out my clothes!  I can’t come out of the shower NAKED!!” 

Well, Aaron, you SHOULD come out of the shower naked.  It’s coming out of the bathroom naked that I don’t want to see.  But I kept this thought to myself as he and I went upstairs. I  picked out his clothes while he got a pair of his new underwear.  Just before he went in his bathroom to shower, he walked into my room and said, “Mom, you got me light pink underwear, right?” 

Uh……no, Aaron.   So out of his pocket he pulled a pair of his new blue underwear.  I laughed as I told him that they were blue, and I was reminded of how he sees blue as being pink………….just like Granddaddy!  And I was glad to clear up the issue of pink versus blue, as I know that he would end up telling everyone at his day group that Mom bought him pink underwear!

After his shower, he marched into the kitchen to see if his toast was ready.  “Mom!  During my shower, I got soap in my eye.  How long will it stay until the hurtness goes away?”  But he forgot all about his eye as he dug into his cinnamon toast.  He did, though, realize that he should explain why he was still shirtless. 

“Mom, I’m waiting for my underarm to cool out a little before I put on my deodorant.”  OK, Aaron………..makes perfect sense to me.

As he began to eat, he started talking about what he had read about in his Handy Science Answer Book.  “Mom, that day before last night, I was reading about dinosaurs!  What is this million kind of thing?”

I was still trying to figure out exactly when the “day before last night” occurred………..so I asked him if he meant Thursday night, and he said yes.  Somehow it’s easier for Aaron to refer to it as “that day before last night.”  And as usual, I chuckle while he barges on ahead with his talking, oblivious to how intricate his wording is.  I knew where this was headed and I was right.  Evolution vs. Creationism.  Aaron knows the truth, but he still likes to ask.  “Mom?  What is this million kind of thing?”  So we discuss the possible age of the earth, and what the Bible says, before he veered off into woolly mammoths and who the cavemen might have been and did they wear woolly mammoth furs and wasn’t it scratchy and smelly and “OH MOM!  Can you look up the Tarantula movie on your tablet?”

So we looked up the Tarantula movie trailer on YouTube.  It’s an old movie from 1955 that Aaron found at Wal-Mart, and is the next on his list of Movies That Aaron Wants.  The trailer was hilarious……….with the nuclear genetically modified tarantula wreaking havoc on mankind and womankind.  Splashed across the screen in scary writing was “The Towering Fury No One Can Control.”  EEEKKKKK!!!!!   Except that Aaron was a combination of breathless excitement and laughter as he watched the enormous tarantula attacking anything and anyone in its path.

“Mom!!!  See its biters??!!”  Yes, Aaron……….such huge biters! 

“So Mom!!  Nuclear energetic is something that makes things huge?!”   It must be, Aaron. 

“And Mom!!  They can’t even blow him up!!”  I noticed that, Aaron.

“Mom!  See??  The electricity doesn’t even hurt him!”  Amazing, Aaron.

Then suddenly Aaron switched to quicksand.  Yes, as quick as anything, Aaron was talking about quicksand.  That’s why you would have found us looking up quicksand on Wickipedia, and then quicksand videos on YouTube……….which Aaron loved far more than just reading words.  Seeing people sink in quicksand was too cool!  He clomped downstairs to tell Gary all about how to extricate himself from quicksand in case Gary ever found himself in that predicament. 

So our morning went, as I ended up with his headphones on my ears listening to the cool music on his Star Wars game and trying to explain it to Aaron.  Believe me when I say this………..Aaron. Notices. Everything. 
From light pink underwear to woolly mammoths to genetically altered tarantulas to millions of years………..nothing escapes his attention and his lengthy commentaries.
 
He knows we don’t agree with millions of years, but we do agree that our Aaron is one in a million for sure.

The Marathon

Yesterday Aaron woke up very tired………or so he said.  I finally agreed to let him stay home, but he did not get his keyboard all day.  That meant no computer games at all.  He could watch movies but not play games.  I was gone to my PT appointment for a short time, and then later to my mother’s prayer group.  Other than that, I was home all day.  Home with Aaron.  Home with Aaron and no keyboard.  I love Aaron, but it was exhausting.  Part of it may have been my mood……..I was just a little tired myself, and thinking of too many things to be able to enjoy Aaron’s non-stop talking.  Seriously………for almost the entire day, he followed me everywhere.  I did not want to talk about the Predator/Alien computer game that he wants us to let him have.  I did not want to talk about the Airbender movie.  I did not want to talk about what he had read in his Handy Science Answer Book.  I did not want to talk about forensics.  I did not want to talk about Cheetos.  I could go on and on, but it makes me tired again.  By the time bedtime rolled around, I was very thankful to pull the covers up and have a reprieve…….after two good night hugs and several, “Wait!  Mom!  Mom??  I wanted to tell you one more thing!!”  I was brushing my teeth when I heard him outside our bedroom door.  “Mom!  Mom!  Mom?  Mom?”  I opened the door, hoping he didn’t see my gritted teeth, and he gave me one more big, warm goodnight hug.  That brought on the guilt, but I was too tired to really be affected much at that point. 

This morning, refreshed and with rested ears, I was in the kitchen when Aaron thumped down the stairs to find me.  He came into the kitchen and with bright eyes and a lilting voice, he said, “Mom!  I’m not tired at all!  I went to bed early!  10:59!”  I smiled at the exact time that he mentioned.  Dear Aaron!  How can he be so precise in the matter of numbers, but so clueless as to the feelings that he should have been able to see displayed so clearly the day before all over his mother’s tired face? 

We had a pleasant morning.  Aaron wanted once again to stop at Dillon’s for more jelly beans like we did a couple days earlier.  As we drove to meet his group, he was full of talk about the Titanic……..because he’s watching the Titanic movie, so this is his latest topic.  Why did the smokestack break?  Why was there an iceberg?  Was there metal in the ship?  What is that dancing place on the ship?  Why were they using Morse code?  What is Morse code?  Do we use Morse code now?  Granddaddy knew Morse code?!  He was so intent in expounding upon the Titanic that I was hoping he wouldn’t notice that we drove right by Dillon’s.  But not Aaron!  “Mom, was there metal in the Titanic?  Aren’t we stopping at Dillon’s?”  I told him that we didn’t have time this morning for Dillon’s, and so he continued with his Titanic monologue.

We pulled up beside the Paradigm van, and as Aaron got out I handed him some Jolly Ranchers to take to Paradigm.  This reminded him of the fact that I hadn’t gotten him the jelly beans………and he got angry.  He yanked the bag out of my hand and slammed the van door…….but not before calling me a name.  Then another name, and another……..each one a little worse than the one before.  No cursing, but just mean old rudeness nonetheless.  I so wish that Aaron could verbalize his feelings without acting like a spoiled 4 year old.  Cody, his driver, was frustrated.  I was, too, and embarrassed.  This afternoon, Aaron called and launched right into his thoughts about a game he wants……..but I called his attention immediately to what had occurred this morning.

“Mom, I said I’m sorry!”  I reminded him that he had not.  “Well, I feel better now!”  And I reminded him that I did not.  “Well, when I got here today I was thinking in my mind that I’m sorry.”  I told him that this didn’t help me at all……….and he said he was sorry, but I never really know if he is truly sorry or if he’s just wanting to put that chapter to rest. 

I saw an article in our newspaper today with the headline – Caregiving is a Marathon.  I thought of my day yesterday with Aaron.  He was happy but being with him all day was so tiring for me.  Then today………..he ended up angry and rude, which caused a different kind of tiredness for me.  I’ve always thought of caregiving as involving the physical care of an aging or sick family member.  But seeing that headline made me realize that caregiving is what Gary and I do day after day for our Aaron.  We are still responsible for most of his care, much as we did when he was a small child.  We love him so much and we want to care for him, but it does take a toll.  I in no way mean to sound like I’m whining or wanting sympathy.  These are just facts.

And I think of all the moms and dads that we know who are in similar, or much more serious, situations as we are.  Those with little or no help, who are stretched financially……physically……emotionally…..spiritually.  I think of the doctor appointments, the hope of a new plan or a new treatment that is slow in coming or may never be found.  I think of the effect on siblings of having a special needs brother or sister, and the many ways that this impacts their family.  I think of how hard it is to go anywhere…….to church, a movie, shopping, eating out, a vacation.   
It really is a marathon, but we don’t get much if any time to train for this one.  We often hit the ground running, trying to adjust to all the twists and turns of life with our special child.  We find ourselves winded and stretched beyond what we think we can possibly accomplish.  But then we see a smile on our child’s face…….a light in their eye……….a joke on their lips……….delight at the touch of a hand or a brush of their lips.  Or of our lips as we kiss them goodnight……if they allow it!……….or as we say, “I love you.”

They may not respond, but we know that they know they are loved.  Through all the ups and downs, the tears and the laughter, the tantrums and the sweetness……..there is love.  We run the marathon, not knowing where the finish line even is or if we can possibly make it.  But with God’s strength, and with the support and the care of our family and friends, we will make it.

We’ll run the race that God has set before us.  One day at a time……..one hug at a time……one “I’m sorry” at a time.

Mom! Don’t You Want a Door?!

This evening after supper our door bell rang.  Gary was way out back taking Jackson on a stroll around the yard.  I was just finishing up in the kitchen, and Aaron was with me – talking, as usual.  Aaron made a bee line for the front door as I hustled along behind him, telling him to not open the door; to let me get it; and to HUSH!  I glanced out the window and saw a cute young lady standing there with her hand full of door hangers.  Oh no!  A solicitor.  As if that isn’t bad enough, a solicitor showing up while Aaron is home. 

You see, I’ve had my fair share of experiences with Aaron and salesmen who show up at our front door.  I shooed him away, but I had no sooner opened the door and said hello than I heard Aaron coming up behind me.  This is a familiar routine when a salesman comes to our door.  Aaron and I are about the same height, so as I move to the right in order to block his view he moves to the left.  Then as I move to the left he scoots to the right.  It’s as if we have a choreographed greeting going on because I’m trying to smile and say hello as normally as possible, all the while knowing that Aaron is bobbing his head around either my right or left shoulder.  He’s dying to know who is at the door and what do they want and what are they selling and will Mom buy something?  After all, it just might be cookies or popcorn!! 

This soft spoken young lady was telling me about Anderson windows and siding and doors.  By now Aaron was standing on the stairs right inside our front door.  This gave him the advantage of being able to see over and beyond me no matter which way I moved.  But the disadvantage was that he was now farther away from the action, which always makes him worry that he’ll miss something important.  Therefore, he asks, “Mom?!  What does she want?”  I motion for him to hush even as I’m trying to listen to what she is saying.  She tries to continue her sales talk even as she’s trying to figure Aaron out.  He can be very distracting, you know. 

I was relieved to be able to tell her that we were currently in the process of re-siding our house, and that our windows are fairly new.  That left the subject of doors, but I had the out of mentioning the siding expense that would prevent us from doing another big project.  Then Aaron blurted, “Mom!  Don’t you want a door?!”  More motioning from me, which Aaron completely ignored, and another smile from this puzzled young lady.  She mentioned that each door was $200 off, and so I thanked her as I made a move to end the conversation.  But Aaron wasn’t through.  He had seen, as he stood on the stairs and looked over my head, that this sales lady held some fliers and had even already hung one on our door handle.  Not to be deterred, Aaron now yelled, “MOM?!  DON’T YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT PAPER??!!”  

For crying out loud, Aaron, why don’t you just ask if the Anderson company will hire YOU to pass out the fliers?  Of course, I was compelled to take the advertisement.  The nice young lady smiled broadly and Aaron clomped off to the kitchen, satisfied that Mom had taken the flier and now all was well. 

Like I said, Aaron delights in these salesman visits.  Because of him, I have bought popcorn and cookies and coupon books and some cleaning sprays.  There he stands behind me, head bobbing over each of my shoulders as he tries to see what wonderful item is being pitched.  “Mom!  Get some popcorn!”   “Mom!  Don’t you want some cookies?”  “Mom!  Are you getting a coupon book?!”

 I remember the summer afternoon that the cleaning spray guy came to the door.  I thought that maybe, just perhaps, Aaron hadn’t heard the doorbell.  No such luck, I realized, as I heard him thumping down the stairs behind me.  Soon his head was bouncing from side to side as we did our little dance. He was enthralled as he saw the salesman spray our storm door window and wipe it clean with his handy cloth.  Wow!  This was even better than popcorn and cookies!  I put my foot down when the man turned to head toward our van, spray bottle ready in order to show me how amazingly he could clean the spots on the paint.  I told him no, even as Aaron blurted out, “Mom!  Let him spray our van!!”  I gave Aaron a look that would have immobilized any other person…………but not Aaron, of course.  The salesman began to direct his pitch to Aaron, and our bobbing dance went up a notch.  I was so relieved to finally close our door…….the one with the little clean circle on the dusty glass…………..and talk to Aaron’s back as he thumped back up the stairs about NOT interrupting when someone came to the door.

The young college student selling books was also a favorite of Aaron’s.  He was very interested in all the books that she quickly told me about before I could even interject a no.  She asked if she could come in and show us some of the books, and as I did finally say no, Aaron interrupted.  “Mom!  Let her show us the books!”  I wanted to throttle Aaron as I stood there with a forced smile on my face………….a smile that I hoped was hiding my true intentions toward my son at that moment.  “Mom!  Don’t you want some books?”  Somehow I got out of that predicament, even though Aaron talked for days about how I wouldn’t let that nice girl show us some books. 

Don’t even ask me how much fun it is when Aaron opens the living room doors while I’m distracted and lets Jackson out.  Dealing with a 175 pound Great Dane PLUS a very loud son who wants to buy whatever is being sold is just more of a good time than I deserve.  Trust me.  It is.

I’ve about decided to put up a No Soliciting sign.  Why doesn’t someone come to the door selling one of those?  Then I would let Aaron buy one……….maybe even two!  That would make us both very happy!