I Don’t Know. I Don’t Know. I Don’t Know.

I haven’t written much lately.  The inspiration to write comes and goes.  Time constraints……..other obligations…………..burdens and concerns that sap my motivation………….feeling like there is really nothing new to say.  Yet with Aaron, there is always something to say, whether it’s exactly new or not.  How that son of ours loves to talk!  Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in his words, many spoken in his monotone voice that can lull me into a zombie state in no time.  For instance, Star Wars Commando Republic…….oh my goodness, if I could only fully describe his focus on this particular game right now. 

He has been playing Star Wars Commando Republic on his computer over the past several weeks.  And talking about it, over and over and over and over.  I don’t understand the game………I don’t know the various players………..I can’t distinguish between the good guys and the bad guys…….and furthermore, I truly don’t care.  But this game is Aaron’s particular focus right now and so I hear about the game – I hear about the various players – I hear about the good guys and the bad guys……..constantly…….whether I care or not.

“Mom, did you know that the Transdoshans……….?”  And off he goes, while I mentally am a million miles removed from Transdoshans.  Then I hear Aaron saying, “Right, Mom?”  And he waits for my answer.  There often is none.  So the question is repeated and I end up usually giving a profound answer, such as, “I don’t know, Aaron.”  Which only gives Aaron the go-ahead to repeat all that he just said about Transdoshans for his rather slow mother. 

Sometimes I get creative and instead of saying, “I don’t know, Aaron,” I will say, “I’m not sure, Aaron,” and the result is the same………..Aaron educates me once again about the subject of Transdoshans or Advisors or Geonosians  or whatever it is he calls all those various characters.  Other times I say, “Well, Aaron, you’re the one who has played this game and knows all about the characters, so I’m sure you know the answer much better than I do.”  And yes, he does know the answer better than I do, so he proceeds to share it with me in his monotone voice that again sends me into outer space with my fellow Transdoshans, floating in a mental no-man’s land.

He came downstairs this morning as I sat at the computer, thinking that maybe I would write a little.  He wasn’t thumping down the stairs in his usual loud way, but coming slowly and as quietly as he can be.  He was trying to “scare” me, so I played along and gave a fake gasp as he walked over and touched my shoulder.  He laughed and then launched immediately into how he went to bed early and how he slept well and how he got to such-and-such a level on Star Wars Republic Commando………..and I knew I was trapped.  Before I was able to herd him upstairs toward the bathroom and his shower, I had looked up a video of Star Wars Republic Commando and observed the Advisor and had dissected everything about the Advisor…….how he talks, why he looks like a ghost, what his job is, why he advises, what he advises about, and how he advises using headphones, and on and on and on………..zzzzzzzzzz.

Aaron even knows that player 40 or 4.0………I don’t know………is an expert on “slicing into computers.”   Player 62 is an expert in fighting.   Player 07 is an expert on shooting.  And I know that Player Aaron is an expert on all things related to Star Wars Republic Commando and that he wants his mom to be an expert, also, but this is not happening.  None of this computes in this brain of mine, and so Aaron continues to instruct his mom and repeat all this information to his mom and talk, talk, talk, talk to his mom………and his mom still says, “Uh, I don’t know, Aaron.” 

Last week, on Tuesday, I ordered what we thought was the cheat code/guidebook for Star Wars Republic Commando off of Amazon.  This was after looking for it on many web sites……….many, many web sites.  Eureka!!  We found it!  Then I knew, as Aaron hovered over my shoulder to make sure that I ordered the book, what his next question would be.  There are some things that I do know.  And yes, Aaron asked, as I pressed the “submit order” button, “Mom, when will the book come in the mail?” 

I answered, “It will probably come sometime next week.”  Aaron grabbed on to the word “week” and since I ordered the book on Tuesday, Aaron said, “So the guidebook will come next week on Tuesday?”  So I had to explain that by saying “week,” I didn’t necessarily mean a literal week from the day it was ordered……….that saying “next week” means any day during that next week……….not just a literal week of 7 days.  But Aaron was in the same comatose state as I tried to explain about “week” as I am in when he tries to explain Transdoshans.
Every single day since I ordered the book, and many times during every single one of those days, Aaron would ask, “Mom, is that guidebook coming on Tuesday?”  And every single day that Aaron would ask that same question, I would answer the same way every single time, “Aaron, I don’t know.”  It was futile to explain the literal week concept again………..except that it did cause Aaron to be quiet for a short period of time.

One day he said, “I can’t wait til that guidebook comes.  That’s not my fault that I can’t wait!”  No, Aaron, it’s not your fault.  And don’t you know, the guidebook finally arrived……….on Monday!  Not even exactly a week from the day it was ordered, but thankfully he didn’t really even care about that confusion.  He was very happy to have his book………and I was very happy to not hear the questions over and over every single day about when the book would arrive. 

The staff at his day group is also hearing all about Star Wars Republic Commando.  He came home yesterday carrying some cheat codes that Barb had found for him on her computer.  She had printed them out and he was happy as he could be.  I’m thankful that Aaron is surrounded by people who understand him, and help him, and make sure that his life is happy.

He will continue to expound on Star Wars Republic Commando and I will continue to say, “Uh, I don’t know,” and he will continue to try to help his clueless mom understand all the ins and outs of this favorite game of his.  But I do know that I understand Aaron and I can explain Aaron at least to some degree. 

And I know that I love Aaron, even with all his quirky ways and his obsessions that drive me into oblivion.  I better run upstairs now and finish getting ready…………and finish listening to more about Star Wars Republic Commando before I wave goodbye to Aaron for the day and leave the listening to other tired ears for a few hours.

I wonder if they know any more than I do about Transdoshans or Geonosians?     

Author: Patty hesaidwhatks

I'm Patty and I write about our adult son who has Epilepsy and Autism, who still lives with my husband and me, and who is a package full of many surprises and joys and challenges and TALK! Lots of talking, which creates laughter and some other reactions as well. I also write about how God shows Himself to me in everyday life.

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