When is the Time to Trust?

A couple mornings ago I felt compelled to open my very old copy of the classic devotional book, Streams in the Desert. This book was a gift from my home church when I graduated from high school way back in 1973. But even though my graduation date makes the book old…of which I am all too aware more and more each day…the actual writings of Mrs. Charles Cowman were first published in 1925. Her writing style may be old school, but the deep truths contained therein are timeless.

I was touched deeply by what I read that morning about faith and trust. I jotted a few notes, tucked the truths away in my mind, and was soon about my busy day. Aaron was staying home that day and we had fun plans!

Our plans were to meet some friends at All Star Sports for a morning of games. My friend Joyce and I had decided to get our two sons together. It would be the first time that Johannes and Aaron would be with each other for an outing, and we both wondered how it would go.

How it went was great! I mean, there wasn’t tons of interaction between them, but the ice was broken, and plans were made for more time together. Sweet Johannes held his hand out and with a prompt from me, Aaron shook his hand without squeezing it too hard, and Joyce and I laughed and were happy. The boys had a good time and that’s what mattered!

Aaron and I then went to eat some lunch and to drop off donations at Goodwill before heading home. Soon after we got home, Aaron took a nap. I had the monitor nearby, listening as I always do when he sleeps. I really didn’t expect to hear a seizure, so I was surprised when I suddenly heard that unmistakable sound coming across the table where I sat.

It was a hard seizure, lasting close to 3 minutes. And exactly one hour later, to the minute, he had another one. It wasn’t as long as the first one but was still 2 minutes long. Thankfully, he was done then and had no more the rest of the day.

It’s so surprising, even now after all these years, how quickly Aaron can go from being out and about, happy and fine, to having a seizure. I don’t try to figure them out like I used to do, but I still find myself wondering why.

Even the next day on the way home from his day group, his speech was somewhat slurred, and he was very tired. He fell asleep on the way home instead of his usual non-stop talking. Was it the residual effects of yesterday’s seizure, I wondered? Is his sodium low again? Will he have another seizure when he gets home and takes a nap?

So, even though this is Aaron’s life and our life, it’s still disconcerting. Worrying. Unsettling.

My mind was drawn back to the devotional I read earlier that morning. I went back to it and was, as I always am, so amazed at how God has for me just what I need when I most need it.

Mrs. Cowman’s words were based on the story of Paul’s shipwreck in Acts 27. The south wind blew gently as the sailor’s pulled anchor. Paul had warned them not to take this trip, but they didn’t listen. And that south wind was such a hopeful sign to them that they were right, and Paul was wrong.

But soon a terrible storm hit. For days the ship was violently tossed on the waves. During that horrible storm, with no sun or stars for days…with everything thrown off the ship that could possibly be tossed overboard…verse 20 says that all hope of being saved was abandoned.

But an angel of God stood before Paul to assure him there would be no loss of life. Paul stood bravely before those battered and terrified seasoned sailors, and confidently said, “So take heart, men, FOR I HAVE FAITH IN GOD!!”

I thought about our life with Aaron…the ups and downs in so many areas…and the fear concerning his seizures. How that day had been so much fun and so without fear, and then out of the blue came two hard seizures. It was easy for fear to replace our fun.

My need to trust God is always there, right at the surface, even underneath all the normal and the fun and the hopeful.

But ACTUALLY trusting God is a must when suddenly the normal and the fun and the hopeful is yanked away.

That level of trust is a conscious decision that I must make.

That level of trust isn’t based on circumstances or on feelings but is rooted in God Himself…in Who I know Him to be.

This year for all of us has seen the rug pulled out in so many areas of our lives. Things were going along pretty well for most of us. Then…BAM!!

COVID…jobs…riots…anger…fear…disagreement.

I want to leave you with the hope that God is not taken aback or surprised by any of this. He has a purpose and a plan.

Can you say, with Paul, that you have faith in God?

I want to leave you with a wonderful poem shared by Mrs. Cowman that I read that morning. I hope it will mean as much to you as it did…and does…to me.