My goodness! It’s been such a long time since I’ve written anything new on here that I had to look back at my last blog to refresh my memory. I haven’t been able to write about life because of life being hectic and so busy. When I don’t write for awhile, I feel like I’m covered up with things that I want to talk about. There are too many happenings to share coherently. So I hope I will just pull back, focus, and be as brief as possible (since WHEN??!!).
Let me say here that I do write more snippets of life with Aaron on my HeSaidWhat Facebook page. (https://www.facebook.com/hesaidwhat84/). You might want to check that out, like it, and follow along.
Now, where was I? LIFE!
Gary and I did make it to Houston after our crazy few days with Aaron’s seizure injuries, written about in my last blog. Poor guy! The morning we left, before Casady (awesome friend!) came over to stay with Aaron, Aaron got out of bed and had blood on his face and pillow. It was more of a pink blood, but still I was worried about his tooth extraction site. All was well, though, and he did fine while we were gone. He only had one seizure during his sleep while Casady was here.
We enjoyed being with our kids in Houston, so much!! Time with Andrea and her fiancé, Kyle…and our son, Andrew…was great! It’s always too short, but we’re thankful for every minute.
It was wonderful to spend time with Kyle before he had to go back out to sea. Sweet to do a little more wedding planning with Andrea, and to hear about her genetics lab that she manages and of the exciting new project that will soon launch under her leadership.
And it was loud and fast and fun to be at Royal Purple Raceway for the NHRA race that weekend, where Andrew is working now for Leah Pritchett and Don Schumacher Racing.
We got to take Kyle’s mother, Marie, with us on Sunday and introduce her to this sport that you have to see and HEAR and feel in order to fully appreciate.
Side note: Leah was the #1 qualifier that weekend and broke a track speed record!! And this past weekend, in Atlanta, she and the team took home the Wally! That means they won the race, for those of you who were like me a few years ago and have no earthly idea what a Wally is!
Even Aaron, who used to be very jealous of Andrew and who bad-mouthed racing, has become a huge fan. This past Friday, I picked Aaron up at the theater after his group had watched a movie. It went like this:
Me: Did you like the movie?
Aaron: Not really.
Me: Why not?
Aaron: Well, it was about a volleyball game.
Me: Oh, I love sports movies! Why didn’t you like it?
Aaron: I don’t like volleyball. I only like drag car racing.
We never thought we’d see the day!
So Aaron has had a few more falling seizures since our return from Houston. He scraped his neck on the edge of his desk.
He fell the following morning as we headed out the door, but I was able to somewhat break his fall, thank the Lord! Our unfinished floor would have been brutal for landing! He did bend his glasses but that’s no big deal. Then he had another seizure that night but was sitting, which was a blessing.
I think I’ve figured out a pattern for these seizures, somewhat. I changed Aaron’s appointment to his Epileptologist in order for him to be seen sooner. Gary and I have decided to try CBD oil, and our doctor agreed to that plan. It arrived today and I’m anxious for Aaron to give it a go…and praying that it will help his seizures, and aid in other ways as well. Aaron has lost lots of weight and has been over drugged, big time, so we really weren’t wanting to go back to adding more meds. We have lowered his seizure drugs and are hoping we can stay there. I was reminded this morning as we drove to his day group about how very tired these drugs make him.
Scenes like that tug at my heart. I so desire for Aaron to live as normal a life as possible…to feel alert and strong…to be happy. Many things beyond his control so often prevent that from happening for him. Seizures…autism…behaviors – all of it can make his life challenging. One minute he has me laughing…then he has me crying…later I want to throttle him. So it went on Tuesday.
Our van was in the shop for new tires and some other necessary work. I couldn’t take Aaron to Paradigm, his day group. He was quite happy about that, for no matter how much he loves Paradigm and his friends there, he thinks that staying at home is the absolute BEST! Here is what I wrote on my Facebook page about one of our morning encounters that day.
Aaron is staying home today because our van is in the shop for new tires and a check-up. Therefore, I can’t drive Aaron to Paradigm.
Therefore, Aaron is following me around as he talks…and talks…and talks.
Therefore, I have already told Aaron several times that he needs to go find something to do.
It is only 8:37.
Aaron found something to do. He is watching Falling Skies, so he hurried downstairs to tell me that the Queen Skitter Alien is big. Why is she big? Why is she the Queen? Why is there not a King?
Therefore, we discussed Queen Ants and Queen Bees, including their size, which is large. Huge, even, according to Aaron.
There ARE times that Aaron does connect the dots. Usually in ways that are unwanted.
Therefore, Aaron just barged down the stairs with this tidbit:
“Mom!! You’re the Queen, because you’re HUGE!!”
Therefore, I gave Aaron my best stink-eye stare, which he finds quite funny.
Therefore, it’s gonna be a LOOOONG day!!!!!
I had no idea when I wrote that about WHAT a long day it was going to be. Aaron was first funny…
And then Aaron pulled at my heart. I was outside watering and weeding some, and Aaron decided to “play in the mulch,” as he calls it. He has always, since he was a little boy, enjoyed breaking sticks and leaves and mulch into tiny pieces, and watching it fall into his trash can. It’s a very autistic behavior which relaxes and calms and focuses him. But there is something about it, especially now that he’s an adult, that just touches my heart for him.
He also decided to lay back on the sidewalk for a minute, and I wondered what neighbors or passersby may have thought if they saw him. I often wonder that when it comes to Aaron, actually.
Later came the frustration. GREAT frustration!
Aaron was not having as much fun staying at home as he thought he would. He was at loose ends, seemingly bored though constantly denying it, and was continually following me around the house…talking and talking and talking. I had lots to do and we had no way to go anywhere, except to take our Jackson for a lingering walk around the yard, so Aaron was trapped.
I was trapped!! In desperation I threw out a life line. I know better than to do what I did, but I did it anyway. I told Aaron that when Dad got home from work, we would go to the shop and pick up the van.
What was I thinking??!! I know not to tell Aaron that something is going to definitely occur…or sometimes to even tell him that it MIGHT occur…because if it doesn’t, then Katie bar the door!! And I know not to tell him far ahead of time, because the event then becomes his major focus. I think he had sucked all the oxygen out of the room and I was light-headed. Not thinking clearly, you know.
Aaron wanted Dad to come home, way before it was time for Gary to be home. He asked and asked and asked when we were leaving. I watched the change coming over Aaron with each time he asked that same question, over and over and over. His focus had narrowed to that one upcoming event, and he wanted it to happen NOW.
When Aaron is like this, his mood becomes angry and impatient. He wants what he wants, immediately, not later. It’s totally impossible to veer him from the one thing upon which he is, at this point, obsessing about.
The more I said, the angrier Aaron became. He was rude and belligerent. I was tired and frustrated. I walked away from Aaron several times before saying something that I knew I would regret. Funny Aaron was now fuming Aaron.
It truly is amazing to see how his mind works at times like this, though I would rather not. We’ve often said that at these times, Aaron is like a train on a track and there is no derailing him. A milkshake might have done the trick, but that wasn’t an option. It was a long late afternoon.
Then Gary got home, unaware of the tension in the house. His phone rang right away and I listened as he was being told that the van wouldn’t be ready until the next morning. AAAAHHHHH!!!!
But Aaron was spent, I guess, and with a new person in the house to talk to, he cheered up dramatically. Gary is amazing, coming home from a demanding job and then dealing with the demands of Aaron. Aaron was content to later watch some television with me, and then play a game of Skip-Bo…which he won, happily!
Recently, a friend sent Aaron some money for him to use in whatever way he wanted. As we strolled through Wal-Mart, Aaron found this:
Aaron flashes the peace sign all the time, so this figurine was perfect for him. He wanted it right away, so some of Bill’s gift was used for this gift for Aaron. It’s a perfect fit!
And it’s a perfect reminder to me that peace always returns after the rough spells – both peace in our home and peace in my heart. That’s because I know the God Who made Aaron. I know Him personally and He guides my every step, orchestrating each day.
God’s peace is only one of His many gifts to me.
Aaron is another one…another of God’s gifts. I need to remind myself of that fact at times.
Actually, God has many ways of doing just that in my life…of reminding and refreshing me.
And for that…and for Aaron…I am grateful.