The Jam in the Road!

I broke the devastating news to Aaron a few weeks ago.

“Aaron!” I began with great excitement.  “We’re going to Houston over the 4th to see Kyle and Andrea, and YOU’RE coming with us!!”

There was a pause.  I often know what Aaron’s pauses are about, but this one was a mystery.  Not for long, however.

“NO!!” he replied with emphasis.  “I DON’T want to go to see Andrea and Kyle!!”

“What?!” I asked.  “You’re always saying, ‘Can us as a family do this or do that?’, so we thought you would love going with us.”

“I DON’T want to GO!!” he blurted out again.  “I want to stay in this house, and I want Casady to watch over me!”

I was surprised at this turn of events.  Aaron has traveled with us in the past, even on an airplane, and has not demonstrated this level of anger at the thought of traveling.  Thus began our big summer sell…yes, sell…as Gary and I attempted to sell Aaron on this idea of taking a vacation trip with us.

Just as we would be thinking that Aaron was warming up to the idea, out he would come with another reason that he did NOT want to go.

“I just like MY house!”

“I want to sleep in MY bed!”

“I want Casady to watch over me!”

“I want to eat out when you’re gone!”

“Are we eating at a restaurant on the way to Andrea’s, or at a STORE?!!”

And even when he saw a commercial about our local fireworks, he had even more ammunition for not going with us.

“SEE??!!  The fireworks start July 4th!  How can I see the fireworks if it’s not July 4th at Andrea’s house?!”

I got lots of deep breathing exercises done during those 3 weeks before our trip.  Lots.

He ran out to the porch one day when he saw me talking on the phone.

“Is that Andrea??  Let me talk to Andrea!!”

So, I put the phone on speaker.

“Andrea!!  Do you have a place in the wall in your house where I can plug in my Nintendo??!”

Seriously??  Does he think that Andrea and Kyle live in a jungle tent?!

But as always, Andrea was the picture of patience as she carefully answered all of Aaron’s questions with as much seriousness toward him and his concerns as she would if she was talking to one of her genetics patients.

He told everybody he talked to…neighbors, day program staff, family…that he did not want to go to Texas.  Everybody told him how much fun it would be, and that he should go and that he would love it.  He didn’t care what everybody said.  His mind was made up.  The big sell was not working.

He and I packed his DVD player on the weekend before we were leaving.  He picked out some movies.  We packed his CD player.  He picked out some CD’s.  We packed his Nintendo DS.  He picked out the game he really wanted to play along with the game guidebook.  We packed his Handy Answer Geology Book because his topic of choice and endless conversations at that time was all about the core of the earth.  We packed his snacks.  He picked out Pringles and Twizzlers and peanuts at Wal-Mart.

There!  We were all set!

Or so we thought…and hoped.  Silly parents!

On Tuesday, the day before we were leaving, I had hoped to get out the door to take Aaron to his day group a little early so that I could get a pedicure.  But Aaron was grouchy about having to go to Paradigm and having to go to Texas the next day.  He was a simmering mess as we drove to his day group.  And when he got out of the car, he threw his water bottle at the fence.

“Get in the car,” I told him.  “I’m taking you home.”

But a few blocks up the road, Aaron begged me to turn around and take him back.  I did.  And a few miles up the road, my cell phone rang.  It was Aaron, who was crying as he told me that this time he threw his water bottle at one of the staff.  I turned around again, picked up my upset son…trying hard myself not to be the same…and took him home.  I zipped down to the nail salon, where there was by now a long wait, so I once again headed home to finish our packing and to deal with angry Aaron.

Aaron was spent and he was sad over his actions.  He walked in while I was loading some clothes into the washing machine.

“Mom?” he calmly asked.  “Can we start over and forgive each other?”

Of course, my heart melted as I assured him that we could most definitely do just that.  I had no idea how much forgiving was in my near future.

The remainder of that day was happy, but as bedtime drew near his mood changed yet again.  He was nervous as the actual day of our trip was now a few hours away.  Everything was irritating him, especially me.

More deep breathing for me as I stared down at my toes that did not have their needed pedicure.

The departure morning dawned with us having to awaken angry Aaron, who wanted none of this trip.  We were finally in the car, packed to the gills, with one quick errand for Gary to run before we left town.  I ran to the back of the car to adjust some things and had to smile at Aaron.  There he was, earphones already in use, with all his food and music and movies and coffee and pillow around him.

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We weren’t too far down the highway when Aaron decided to take a nap.  This was a good thing in more ways than one.

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And when he woke up, he was a new man.  He was happy and talkative…in a very nice way…ready for a rest area stop and full of new life.

Maybe we made the hard sell after all?!

We headed back down the highway again.

“Can we stop for lunch?” Aaron asked.  “At 12:00?”

Of course, Aaron wanted lunch at 12:00!  Those who know Aaron know that he will rarely eat lunch before 12:00.  There he was, sitting behind me, watching his core of the earth movie…wearing his sweater with his shoes off and his striped blanket over his lap…wearing his headphones…crunching on his peanuts…

Aaron very much wanted his normal to travel with him.  The reason he did not want to take this trip is because his normal is at home, not in the car and not on the road and not at Kyle and Andrea’s.  He feels no control when his normal is disrupted, and having no control is both scary and maddening to Aaron.  The behaviors we were seeing was, for Aaron, his normal way of expressing his loss of normal in his life.  But for us, it was very frustrating and exhausting to deal with his handling of these concerns.

It was classic Autism 101.  And we were just beginning our class.  We had no idea of the tests that were yet ahead.  Like these storm clouds south of Dallas, we were headed into an Aaron storm.

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The first one hit us about 40 miles from Houston, near the Sam Houston National Park.  Not rain and lightning, but red tail lights.   Those tail lights up ahead of us on I45 were not a welcome sight.  Traffic jam!  And not just a little traffic jam!  We were stuck there, creeping along very slowly, for over an hour and a half!

Aaron lost his happy.  We nearly lost our cool.  The day had totally gone downhill yet again.

“Can we just HURRY with this vacation?!” he asked.

Oh, if only!!

Finally, we pulled into Kyle and Andrea’s driveway.  We could hardly wait to get inside, to hug our kids and hug the doggies, to stretch our legs and our backs, and just be out of that car!  Except for Aaron, who angrily informed us that he was NOT getting out of the car and he was NOT going into Andrea’s house and that he WAS going to stay in the car all night.  Twelve hours in the car wasn’t enough for him?!

But I knew what was going on with Aaron.  He was a nervous wreck about going inside this new house that did not hold his normal.  Even the fact that Andrea was there didn’t help him at that point because her life in this strange house was just that…strange.  She was married now, she and Kyle living together, and all of it was just too much for Aaron.

Gary and I went inside to barking, ecstatic dogs…to hugs from Andrea and Kyle…to the smell of supper and the warmth of family.  But poor Aaron, still out in the car, was only anticipating a very unfamiliar and uncomfortable start to this vacation.

My heart went out to him even as I battled my desire to yell at him.  One day in, and this vacation was not the happy time that I had hoped it would be.

I went outside, where I found Aaron struggling to gather up and carry as many of his things as he could.  He would carry as much of his normal into this strange house as he could!  Finally, he headed toward the door, his arms as full of his blanket and movies and music as he could carry.

I got him in the house, then went back to the car for some things, and when I walked into the kitchen a minute later there stood Aaron, talking for all he was worth about the core of the earth.  It was so classic!  So totally Aaron!  And so lovingly Andrea as she sweetly conversed with him about a subject so out there…but again, so Aaron.

Andrea walked with us upstairs to the bedroom Aaron was using.  She had it fixed just perfectly, complete with a big soft stuffed dog bearing Aaron’s name, perched on the bed.  She knows her Aaron so well!  We showed him that Andrea and Kyle did indeed have outlets in their walls!  We got all his devices plugged in.  We showed him how his bed would be just fine…how there was a lamp on the table beside the bed…how he could see at night with the light from the window.  He was relaxing, at least a little, though still full of concerns.

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He didn’t want to come to supper, but finally he did come down.  He ate, all the while talking to Kyle about Star Wars matters.  Kyle engaged him perfectly on that topic.  Aaron was literally shaking all over, partly because of pent-up nerves and partly because he was SO excited to be talking about one of his favorite subjects with someone who knew all about it, too.

The next three days were quite a mixture for all of us.  Aaron was at one moment happy and funny, and the next might be angry and insulting.  He had some good times when Kyle’s mom, dad, and cousin came over for the 4th.  We ate burgers and watermelon and watched some fireworks.  He spent a little time here and there petting the dogs.  But he didn’t want to go anywhere, and we knew not to push him.  He was happiest when we went out to eat one night.  But we didn’t take him to the beach or a museum or shopping.  Heat and crowds and Aaron’s mood was a volatile mix.  It was not the vacation that I had hoped it would be.

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Aaron was more than ready to leave on the morning of our departure.  “I want to live in MY house, not HERE!” he declared.  Nice.

Aaron’s normal was spread around him on the back seat as we made good time leaving Houston and trucked up the highway toward Dallas.  But south of Dallas we saw them…the red lights of stopped cars!!

“Is that a JAM in the road?!” Aaron asked, almost in a panic.

“I’m afraid it is,” Gary answered.  And sure enough, we crept along again for over an hour due to an accident up ahead.

Later, in Oklahoma, we had another slow down for construction.  Aaron got so that every time he saw backed up traffic ahead, he would ask the same question.

“Is that a JAM in the road?!”

How perfectly that describes our life with Aaron…and not just on this vacation, but nearly every day.

We get jammed up trying to understand and manage Aaron’s behaviors…his way of thinking…his expectations…his demands.  We are forced to move at a much slower pace than we want because Aaron won’t respond to any other speed than his own.

“Oh, he’s just autistic!”

That’s so easy to say, but wow, the complexity of what this autism involves!

I cried twice at Kyle and Andrea’s.  Cried out of sheer frustration, disappointment, anger, and sadness.  Cried because I realized how tied down and unusual our life is with Aaron.  Then came guilt because I felt that way.

UGH!!!!!

I was anxious to get back in my Bible on Monday morning.  Nothing comforts me and encourages me like opening God’s treasure chest full of His words.  One thing I read in a devotional book I’m using was Psalm 12:6:

“And the words of the Lord are flawless, like silver refined in a furnace of clay, purified seven times.”

Boyd Bailey said, “The Bible is our handbook for holiness and happiness.  We steward it well when we honor it above our own wishful thinking.”

My wishful thinking about life with Aaron isn’t what often honors God or helps with our big road jam.  But when I read the Bible and listen to God, I do find what Boyd Bailey also says:  “We listen for instructions in our obedience.  We listen for encouragement.  We listen for rebuke.  We listen to the Lord’s flawless words because we know we are loved by Him.”

The traffic jams on our road with Aaron will continue.  They will come and they will go.  Up and down.  I mess up.  I don’t have all the answers.

But I know where to go for all that I really need, and for God’s Word and for His love I am ever grateful.

God knows the road ahead for us with Aaron.  The map of His Word will guide our attitudes as we journey.  God will go before us, behind us, and most importantly He will be beside us.

There isn’t a jam in any road that’s too big for God!

 

 

Vacationing With Aaron

A vacation trip means different things to different people.  Aaron was very happy when we told him that we were taking a Fourth of July trip to see family in North Carolina.  He likes seeing Aunt Sandra and others that he knows.  But really, to Aaron a vacation primarily means one thing…….food.  Particularly, restaurant food.  Snack food is right up there, too, on Aaron’s list of favorite vacation activities.  Then there’s Aunt Sandra’s wonderful cooking at her house, which is the best!  Staying in a hotel would be number three, because a hotel usually means dinner in a restaurant before bed.  Rest stops are fun, too, especially if the rest stop is a stop at a filling station……where there is food.  Plus I bring snack food, which is fun, but not as much fun as food that we buy on the road.  So you get the idea.  A vacation for Aaron boils down to one thing:  food in one form or another. 

We left for our Food Fest vacation on Thursday, the 30th.  Aaron wanted to know what time we were leaving, because knowing the precise time for everything in life is vital to Aaron.  So we told him that we would leave around 8:00, hoping that the word “around” would yield us some leeway in Aaron’s mind.  Not likely, but we can always hope that Aaron will be a bit flexible.  As it turned out, Aaron had a very rough night before our 8:00 leaving time.  I heard him having a seizure at 12:30 that morning, with two more strong seizures following during the early morning hours.  It was a long and very tiring night for him and for me, but I was thankful that by morning Aaron was able to get ready for our trip.  I was also thankful that flying had not been an option for us as it’s too expensive, because trying to maneuver Aaron in an airport and on a plane after seizures would have been very difficult. 

We were two hours late to leave, but Aaron was too lethargic to care.  He burrowed around in the back seat as soon as we started driving until he was finally comfortable, laying down and sleeping for quite a while.  He would wake up and look around some, long enough to ask the inevitable:

“Are we getting something to eat?”

“Yes, Aaron,” we would answer.  “We’ll be getting something to eat.”

“When?” he wanted to know.

“Oh, probably later in the afternoon,” we told him.

“So what time?” he asked.

“We’re not totally sure what time,” we answered.

“Oh,” was all he would say.  Until:

“I’m talking about eating in a restaurant,” he clarified.

“Yes,” we said.  “We’ll eat in a restaurant.”

“What time?” he ventured again.

And so back and forth this conversation occurred, over and over again as Gary drove us on our scenic route.  If Aaron was awake, we pointed out the farmer’s fields…..the Mississippi River……the Tennessee River…….the quaint little towns with their interesting sights……the beautiful wildflowers……

But none of it was particularly interesting to Aaron.  Part of it was that he didn’t feel up to par after his seizures.  And part of it is because none of these things held nearly as much interest to Aaron as, say, a Cracker Barrel or Applebee’s sign.  Of course!

Aaron was listening to some music on his headphones when he let us know that he needed to use the bathroom.  We told him that we would stop as soon as we found a place.

“I’m talking about a bathroom in a restaurant,” he informed us. 

HaHaHa!!!  Good try, Aaron.  We knew he must have been feeling better!

We ended that first day happily eating supper at Applebee’s, right beside our hotel in Paducah, Kentucky.  Aaron rolled in his suitcase while he carried his small backpack that held his music CD’s and his CD player with headphones.  And Aaron, who must finish what he has started if at all possible, was very pleased to put on his pajamas and then complete the task of finishing his Ronnie Milsap CD before it was time to turn off the lights and sleep.  Mission accomplished!

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We all slept very well that night.  Aaron was still fairly slow that morning, which is normal after seizures.  But he wasn’t so slow that he didn’t think about food!  He was hoping for breakfast in a restaurant, so we told him that the hotel breakfast was very much like a restaurant.  He didn’t really buy into that, but he was happy to eat again.  And very curious about the bowl of Trix that the woman in front of us had as he leaned over to stare at it, which caused her to stare at Aaron……with a smile, thankfully. 

Aaron really wanted Gary to listen to his Ronnie Milsap CD in the car player, but we told Aaron no, that he needed to use his own player.  Gary told Aaron that he just doesn’t like to listen to music while he drives, which Aaron finds totally mystifying. 

“How come you just like listening to the cars?!” Aaron asked in disbelief.

It was a welcome sight to see more and more mountains as we drove toward our beautiful Smoky Mountains, and to our family.  Aaron wasn’t greatly impressed with the pretty views of mountains and lakes and rolling whitewater rivers.  He just wanted to know what time we were getting to Aunt Sandra’s and what was for supper.

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Aaron quickly set up shop at Aunt Sandra’s, putting his CD and DVD player on the desk in the room where he sleeps.   His Ronnie Milsap CD and his Superman movies were nearby, and he was all set. 

On Saturday, Sandra took us up to see a friend who raises goats and dogs and cows.  The goats were just so cute.  Georgianna let Aaron pet and feed the goats, which he loved doing.  He really loves to feed animals……of course!  It’s food!  We ate lunch at Nabor’s drive-in, which we always must do in Bryson City……and which IS a restaurant, so Aaron was happy!  We drove around and looked at sights and gorgeous views, ending up at the grocery store……..where Aaron ended up finding DVD’s for sale, of course!!

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It was just great to see everyone over the next few days!  There were so many family members there, especially at the barbecue on Sunday.  During the days that we were there, Aaron had lots of new people to talk to about movies or about his day group or about anything else that entered his mind.  He didn’t know many names but he would usually just look at someone and say, “HEY!”  I would often tell Aaron the name of the person to whom he spoke, but names didn’t matter nearly as much to Aaron as the telling of his stories did.  So “HEY!!” it often was.

There were some moments of frustration, as there always are, but generally Aaron did very well.  To be in such a crowded environment with many people he didn’t know, totally out of his routine, is always a stretch for Aaron.  I think the time he got the most bothered, of all things, was the night that he heard Sandra and I making the noise that means something tastes good.  You know…….mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.  The inflections in that common sound we make without even thinking just drove Aaron nuts.  He told us to stop it!  And we forgot as we stood at her kitchen island that night, sampling a few more little bites of her carrot cake.  “Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,” we both intoned as we smacked our lips……and there stood Aaron.  He had fire in his eyes as he got very upset, told us we were weird, and then gave me a kick in my leg.  It’s just amazing to see how his brain functions, and to see what makes him totally lose control. 

One of the sweetest moments came when Aaron began to tell his cousin, Andrew, about Ronnie Milsap.  Andrew, bless his heart, got out his phone and tried to look up Ronnie Milsap while Aaron anxiously waited.  Andrew’s phone didn’t get good coverage, so I quickly found the song.  Andrew listened intently with Aaron, while Aaron rubbed his hands together in delight and laughed a lot in total pleasure.  And to top it off, Andrew went up to Sandra’s house so that Aaron could show him some more Ronnie Milsap songs on his CD player.  What a kind thing for Andrew to do!! 

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We visited Aaron’s Nana, Leo, on Monday morning before leaving town.  We also got to see Jonni and JD, and of course, Meshach……who sat in Aaron’s lap the entire visit and even wanted to leave in the car with Aaron. 

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The trip back to Kansas on Monday and Tuesday was uneventful.  Of course, Aaron had the usual food questions and where are we staying questions and when will we get to Kansas questions.  On Tuesday he wanted to know what time we would get home.  Gary told him that we would get home around 4:00 that afternoon.  As we rode, we showed him when we entered Tennessee, when we entered Kentucky, etc. 

“Is 4:00 when we come to the entrance of Kansas?” he later asked. 

Later, we were on the final leg of our trip.  It was 3:09.

“When will we be home?” Aaron asked.

“In about an hour,” I told him.

“No.  You said 4:00,” he replied.

“What time is it?” Gary asked him.

“3:09,” Aaron answered.

“Then it’s about an hour,” Gary said.

“No,” Aaron answered.  “It’s 51 minutes.” 

I don’t think Aaron even notices the quick looks between Gary and me, and the suppressed smiles.  He is so often unaware of how he affects us in a very pleasing, happy, amazing way.  He does usually know when he affects us negatively, however, but I’m thankful that the happy times occur more often than the not-so-happy times.

He went to his day group today with no problem.  That’s a huge big deal for him after being gone for so many days!  He wanted me to come in with him and tell Barb about our trip, but I told him I didn’t have time for a long talk, and Barb probably didn’t either.

“But Mom, you don’t have to tell her for a LONG time!!” he insisted.

Yet I have told all of you for a LONG time about our vacation trip, that’s for sure.  Thanks for bearing with me if you’ve read all of this.  I just love sharing a little about what it’s like to travel with Aaron……to live with Aaron……to experience new things with Aaron……to be in his world and have him in ours in the way that we have this past week. 

It’s just another glimpse into autism and into life with Aaron, which makes our lives full and rich and sometimes rather complicated.

But not boring.  Never boring. 

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Are We Having Fun Yet?

Gary’s military career took us to many places over the years.  Many of our family were able to come visit us in the various places that we lived, including Germany.  Fort Huachuca, Arizona, was our last assignment before Gary retired.  We had lots of family and several friends that were able to come and spend some time with us while we were there, but one trip will always stand out as the trip like none other……….the trip that no one would want to re-live.
Our military housing on Fort Huachuca, Arizona
My mom and dad came out to see us in October of that particular year.  October in Arizona is usually a great time to travel because it’s not too hot and not too cold.  Since Dad didn’t like to fly, they drove for several days across country, all the way from southern West Virginia to southern Arizona.  Mom and Dad enjoyed traveling, so the long drive didn’t bother them.  They had decided to just take their time and enjoy each day.
Our backyard view –  Fort Huachuca, Arizona
Now my mother, years prior to this trip, had been diagnosed with a very rare form of colitis.  She would go for rather long periods of time with no problems, and such was the case before they left for this long vacation trip to Arizona.  She had been fine, so she didn’t even think about bringing any of her prescription medicine.  However, on the long drive across the country she began having problems with her colitis.  As soon as they arrived at our place, later that evening, Mom pulled me aside and told me that she would need to go the emergency room the next day to be checked and to see if she could get some of her medicine.  It really wasn’t a big deal, she assured me, and so I wasn’t alarmed.
The following day, I took her and Dad to the ER in the town of Sierra Vista.  She was examined and plans were made to get her unusual prescription filled there in town for her rare form of colitis.  This would take some time, though, so in the meantime the doctor gave her something else to take.  In addition, they noticed that her blood pressure was high……….so the doctor said that she would need to come back the next day to have that checked as well.
Over the next several days, we juggled Mom’s ER visits with our day trips around southern Arizona.  There is so much to see and do there, and they didn’t want to waste a minute.  Mom’s colitis, though, was not getting any better but was actually worsening.  And her blood pressure was still an issue, so back and forth we would go to the ER to have her checked.  We were also dealing with Aaron’s seizures and behaviors……but despite it all, we were having a great time as we saw the sights and went on picnics and enjoyed time together.
One day I drove us all up through the Coronado National Forest.  We ended up at the top, at Montezuma Pass, where we looked out over the gorgeous view.  On the way back to the van from the overlook, there was just a tiny little incline with very small rocks on the ground.  Dad usually took hold of Mom’s arm to help her in an area like that, but this time she had gone on by herself.  Before we knew it, she slid on those tiny rocks and fell down.  We rushed over to help her up, and she assured us that she was fine………except that her lower leg hurt.  As we drove down off the mountain, I heard her tell Dad that her leg really hurt and that she thought she should go back to the ER to have it checked.   Now Dad, who was the sweetest husband ever, proceeded to tell Mom that her leg was fine and that she did not need to go to the ER.  At this point, they had been to the ER so many times that some of the staff knew them by name.  Dad was hoping that their ER days were over, but it was not to be.
Coronado National Forest
As soon as I dropped the kids off at our house and left them with Gary, I drove Mom and Dad back to the now very familiar emergency room.  Dad and I waited while Mom was X-rayed…….and then we were both shocked when the doctor walked out to tell us that Mom’s lower bone in her leg was broken.  Broken?  Are you sure, we asked?  Yes, we’re sure, he answered.  So Mom’s leg was put in a splint, and we were instructed to be seen by a certain ortho doctor on Monday.  This was Friday, so we had the weekend to wait.  And now Mom couldn’t walk……..and her colitis was bad, which meant frequent and VERY fast trips to the bathroom.  Oh dear.
We also, for some reason that I have forgotten, could not get a wheelchair at that time.  So we would put Mom in Gary’s desk chair with wheels, and we would roll her quickly around our quarters to the bathroom when the need would hit…….which as I said, was often.  VERY often.
We also had another little complication on this ever more interesting vacation trip.  Remember that we lived in military quarters.  When the housing authorities decide to make repairs on your quarters, they don’t typically ask if they can make said repairs.  They TELL you when they are making the repairs, and you deal with it.  Before Mom and Dad’s trip, we were told that there would be a certain project that would start on such and such a day on our house.  Just a small project…………putting on a new roof.  Oh, and since they were fairly certain that there was asbestos in the old roof that would be removed, we would need to make plans to be gone from our house on that day.  Gone…….as in gone ALL day……so as to avoid the asbestos.
You can probably guess that the day of the roof removal was on that Monday……….the Monday that Mom was scheduled to go get her broken leg put in a cast.  I had planned a full day trip to Mexico for all of us so we could do what the contractors told us to do……..which was to be gone………..and so we could avoid the nasty asbestos……….and so we could show my parents Mexico and we could shop and we could eat and we could have so much fun.  Instead, we were trapped in our house with Mom in a rolling chair with her leg stuck straight out, careening up the hall like crazy people to take her to the bathroom……and contractors at our door bright and early, asking us when we were leaving.  I explained that we were NOT leaving, and these Mexicans were trying to understand until they saw Mom……….and then they knew.  So they instructed us to keep our windows closed and good luck.
Dad and I got Mom to the doctor, and she came home with a nice new cast…….and still with her colitis, as strong as ever.  I don’t even remember how high her blood pressure was at this point, but I’m pretty sure that Dad’s and mine was right up there with Mom’s.  At least now we also had a wheelchair, and so life was a little easier……..except that our quarters weren’t exactly big enough, especially the bathroom doors, for a wheelchair.  Boy oh boy!
The Mexicans were working on the roof and we had our windows closed, but we noticed the dark clouds that were rolling in over the mountains.  Surely not.  It couldn’t be threatening rain in Arizona in October.  Not with our roof off………not with Mom in a wheelchair and a cast.  Soon our doorbell rang, and one of the Mexican men stood there rapidly firing off his mixture of Spanish and English.  I knew enough to know that he was telling me that they were hurrying as fast as they could to beat the rain, but that most of the roof was still not rain-ready.  And as we stood there, they also told us to move our vehicles because they were spreading tar on the flat roof………and the wind was whipping up because of the approaching storm.  So now we had very little roof and we had blowing tar.  Yes, blowing tar.  The tar didn’t get on our vehicles that we moved, but it blew all over our yard and carport……..and it seeped into our storage room………..and it got tracked all over the inside of the house.
Then the rain came………a hard, blowing rain.  The workers all left………..and we were left with drips coming out of our ceiling all over our quarters.  We used trash cans and buckets and bowls to catch the water.  Which meant that now we had Mom with a broken leg in a cast and with colitis………bad colitis, remember………being pushed quickly up the hall to the bathroom while dodging buckets and bowls and trash cans……….and somehow making it with our help to the toilet.  Soon after this rain fiasco started, I heard Mom in the bathroom laughing.  There she sat on the toilet, with steady drips of water landing right on her head.  Well, at least it was one drip that didn’t need a bucket.  We just kept the toilet lid up to catch the drips, and handed Mom a towel to hold on her head whenever she had to go.
The next day the workers returned and I tell you no lie………the same thing happened.  It rained yet again!  We had to laugh at this point.  I was so thankful for Mom and Dad’s good attitude, especially Mom’s.  Dad was getting a little stressed, of course, as he worried about her and wondered how on earth they were going to get home to West Virginia.  Finally, the decision was made.  My sister, Jan, flew out to Arizona in order to ride home with them.  I picked her up in Phoenix, and on the drive down to Fort Huachuca she asked if I could stop to let her use the bathroom.  On down the road a short way, she asked me once again to stop.  When she got back in the car, I asked if she was OK……..and she sheepishly said that her colitis had flared up.  OH NO!!!!!  She made me promise not to tell Mom and Dad, and she said the next day that she was fine……….and off Mom, Dad, and Jan went to drive back to West Virginia.
From what Jan told us, the drive back across country was pretty much a nightmare.  One day she told me that she stopped counting at 27 the number of times they stopped for Mom’s colitis attacks.  Many bathrooms were not wheelchair accessible.  Some hotels didn’t have any handicap rooms available.  It took at least 5 days to get home………..maybe more………..neither of us can remember.  I do know that Jan said by the time they got home, Dad was totally exhausted and he looked grey.  Poor Mom was wiped out………pardon the pun, but she would totally love that.
But things were not over.  Nope, not by a long shot.  When they got back home, Mom ended up in the hospital with pneumonia!  Yes……..colitis, broken leg, and now pneumonia.  But wait……….there’s more.  While in the hospital with pneumonia, she developed a blood clot and had an embolism.  She was in the best place for that to happen, although it was still a miracle that she didn’t die.  Of all things, this was her second embolism.  She had one years earlier after toe surgery.  She must be some sort of statistical miracle for sure!
This long story is just to show that through it all……….through this absolutely horrible vacation……….Mom and Dad stayed calm and strong.  Especially Mom.  Her strong will and her sense of humor kicked in, and she never acted like she was down or distressed.  She joked about everything and made the whole situation easier.
And most of all, as she lay in that hospital bed after the embolism, she said that God comforted her by giving her the verse that became her verse.  I wrote about that verse yesterday.  Psalm 46:10 – “Be still and know that I am God.”  She said she lay there and just let her mind dwell on that verse.  She knew that God was in charge of all this craziness, and in charge of her health………..and that if she died, it would be fine………..and if not, then she would remember that He is God.
Tomorrow is Mom’s 87th birthday.  She has Alzheimer’s and has forgotten more than she remembers now.   I bet she can’t remember that disaster of a vacation…….and maybe that’s best.  But I’m thankful that the rest of us can think of it and remember what a testimony she was through it all.
We love you, Mom!  And we think of what you always said when you had these colitis episodes……”It’ll all come out OK in the end.”   HaHaHa!  That’s my Mom!