Category: Humor

The Cold Sore

You know from the blog title that what I’m going to write about today has something to do with the pleasant subject of a cold sore.  Let me tell you, I am cold sore weary.  Looking at it…..talking about it……putting medicine on it……discussing every little detail of it……

It’s just tiring.  Oh, and I don’t have the cold sore.  Aaron does.

You probably guessed that.

I do feel sorry for him, truly.  Cold sores are painful.  He’s never had one before, so this new experience has been very impacting to him.  You would think with all the medical challenges that he faces, a cold sore would be minor.  But not Aaron. 

He will talk a sore to death.  He had a little cut on his knuckle not long ago, and I heard more about that little cut than I ever, ever want to hear again.  I have to say, though, that some of his statements are really funny…..or really insightful……or downright confusing.

“Mom?” he asked one morning as he held his cut finger up in front of my face.  “Is the blood holding in the sore of the skin?”

Ponder that one. 

“I’m not sure, Aaron” – has become a routine answer for me.  Or, “Google it, Aaron.”  That’s another good one.  Both are said in a rather monotone voice after about day three or four of Aaron dissecting everything there is to possibly dissect about his sore or bruise or bump…..or cold sore now. 

I wish I had written down all of Aaron’s comments about his cold sore, or how many times a day he has talked about it.  This unusual malady has him stumped for answers and explanations, so he talks it to death.  My monotone voice is in full force, trust me.  Aaron doesn’t notice that, of course.

So here are some of his statements about his cold sore.

“Mom, it hurts when I eat because I open my mouth high.”

“It stretches!”  (Talking about how it cracks)

“I feel it pumping.”  (That feeling of your heartbeat in a sore place)

“It gets dark…..the color of the sore.”  (How it looked as it scabbed over)

“Mom!  The medicine fell off!”

And after I told him that it gets worse before it gets better, he paused a minute before saying, “The reason it’s getting worse is because it’s getting better.”

Sure, Aaron.  Yeah.  We’ll go with that.

On Friday he went with Amy, one of the staff, to pick up some things for Paradigm at a drug store.  Aaron put two and two together really quickly.  Just that morning on our way to Paradigm, he and I had stopped at our Dillon’s and bought some new cold sore medicine.  But with Amy at a new drug store, he of course engaged the pharmacist in a conversation about his awful cold sore.  Aaron had news for me about what to do to treat his cold sore, according to this concerned pharmacist, but of course it’s what we were already doing.  Aaron didn’t bother to tell him that because he loved all this new attention. 

So today Aaron went with me down to Dillon’s again.  We went up and down the aisles while I checked this and bought that, and Aaron tried to talk me into more than his salad…..and croissants……and flavored water.  I ended up at the pharmacy, where I was checking on some calcium on the shelf, and where Aaron spied Marc and Greg in the pharmacy.  We have known Marc and his family for years, and Greg has gotten to know us more recently.  Aaron wasn’t concerned at all about whether we know Marc and Greg.  He only saw a fresh opportunity.

“Hey!” I heard Aaron say as I was bending over a bottle of calcium.

And I knew.  I knew immediately, from years of experience, what Aaron was doing.  He had grabbed a prime opportunity by the tail.

“Hey!” he repeated as he moved to the counter. 

I tried to run interference but Marc is very kind, and he knows Aaron, and Greg is also very kind…..so Marc moved over to where he could talk to Aaron.  I laughed mentally because just a few days earlier I had seen Marc and his wife in Penny’s, where I told them about the cold sore and how Aaron is so obsessed about it, and where Marc gave me some medicine advice.

“I have this cold sore,” Aaron began, and off he went.  Funny how totally Aaron could ignore me and stay on track with his story as I stood there commenting on all of his comments.   

“Aaron, your cold sore is getting better.”

“Aaron, we’re doing what they’re saying to do.”

“Aaron, you know all about how to take care of it.”

“Aaron, Marc and Greg need to get back to work.”

And so it went, until this:

“Hey!” Aaron added.  “Have you watched XFiles?”

“Aaron!” I said.  “Don’t get started…..”

“Have you watched NINE seasons of XFiles?!” he continued. 

“Aaron, we need to go!” I repeated.  “They need to get back to work.”

“Have you seen the smoking man?” Greg asked.

“Well, now you’ve done it,” I told Greg as I laughed.  Talk about throwing gas on a flame!

We finally escaped as customers began to collect, and probably wondered why we were standing there talking about XFiles to two pharmacists.  Cold sores, maybe……but XFiles?

Aaron ate his salad and his croissants, and I put more medicine on his cold sore……but I think it’s already fallen off.  Hopefully soon the cold sore will be a distant memory.  At least with a cold sore, Aaron doesn’t have to lift his shirt up to show it to unsuspecting random people.  Now that’s a memory!!

Maybe a cold sore is a blessing in disguise after all, at least for me and for others who have been bombarded with the bare stomach shock as Aaron showed off an under-his-shirt sore.  

Life is never dull with Aaron.  I could only wish on some days……

 

 

High Cotton!

Aaron loves the group, Alabama, so last night it was his CD of choice as we drove to pick up a pizza….and breadsticks!  That made Aaron extra happy!  When we listen to a CD, Aaron follows along with the names of the songs by picking up the CD box each time a new song begins.  Number 1….and he’s looking for the song title on the back of the CD box.  Song number 2 begins, and he grabs the box again to locate the correct title once more…..and so it goes for as long as the CD is playing. 

Whichever song is playing when we get home and get out of the van is the one that will be in Aaron’s head for hours, and sometimes days.  Last night it was one of our favorites….High Cotton.  But Aaron will pick a few words and say, or sing, them over and over and over and over until I just think I might pop!  With exasperation!  Last night I heard “hiiiigggghhhhh cotton” way, way, way too many times.  That’s how Alabama ends the song, by the way…..holding out the word “high”…so Aaron totally was into that for the whole evening, including belting it out in his shower.  And while he was on his computer.  During our game of SkipBo.  And even whispering it in bed as he tried to go to sleep.  Whispering it because Mom has told him not to be loud since I have the monitor on listening for seizures.  I’m listening for seizures, I tell him, and am not in the mood for singing at 11:00 p.m.

And ever so softly through the monitor I hear, “hiiiiiggggghhhhh cotton.” 

Just enough to keep me awake…..and enough for Aaron to climb out of bed way after 11:00 p.m., thump up the hall, burst through our bedroom door and loudly ask, “Mom?!!  Are you keeping the monitor on??!!” 

“Not if I hear anymore “hiiiigggghhhhh cotton!!!!” I try to reply quietly but with emphasis.  

I’ve had it with Alabama and cotton, high or not!!

But I did have to laugh last night when Aaron came down to play SkipBo.

“Mom?” he said.  “I noticed something.”

And he waited for me to ask, so I know to just go ahead and do so because he’ll either wait forever or he’ll repeat the question.

“What did you notice, Aaron?” I asked.

“Well, I noticed that it seems like Alabama sings south songs,” he informed me. 

Aaahhhh, yes.  South songs.  Of course.

It got even better this morning, first thing.  Aaron walked in the kitchen and took up where he had left off the night before.

“Mom, I was watching Alabama sing on my computer last night.  You know what?”

What, Aaron?

“I noticed they look like south men,” he told me.

Ummmm…..I guess they do.

I couldn’t get Aaron to expound on this subject further, but if he does I’ll let you know.  In the meantime, here’s the CD cover picture of Alabama.

Otherwise known as South Men.

Singing South Songs.

Hiiiigggghhhhh Cotton!!

Where’s The Macaroni?!

I think I may need to hide the macaroni container again.  I’ve done it in the past and now I may need to resort to hiding it again.  Why?  Because Aaron absolutely loves uncooked macaroni, and for some reason will decide out of the blue to focus on that food item.  Once that focus starts, he is not to be deterred.  We often hear him dumping them into one of his plastic bowls.  The loud clatter of uncooked noodles is hard to miss.  Into the kitchen we go, intercepting Aaron’s plot, and so back in the macaroni container go the noodles. 
 
 

I’ve offered to cook Aaron some noodles, but he wants them “raw,” as he says.  He doesn’t understand why we object.  They’re hard on your teeth, Aaron.  They’re hard to digest when uncooked, Aaron.  You’re eating all my macaroni and I won’t have any for dishes I want to make, Aaron.

He doesn’t care.  When he’s on a raw macaroni binge, which might last for days, then nothing we say or do will change his mind.  He’s a proficient sneak and can often have a huge bowl of noodles without us even knowing it.  He definitely knows how to take advantage of times that he’s at the house alone, too, which is by far the best time to have an uninterrupted raw macaroni feast.

Sometimes it’s hard to know if he’s eaten the noodles because there are no signs such as are often left with other foods that he sneakily eats.  There are no piles of individual wrappers…..no bag left in his trash can…..no drips…..no mess.

It’s hard for Aaron to sneak his chocolate milk, for instance, because he always leaves such a mess. 

“How many powders do I use to make chocolate milk?” he asked me one day, his spoon poised over the open Nestle’s Quik container.  He only asked because I happened into the kitchen.  He will use three or four spoonsful of powder if left alone, so it really doesn’t mean anything for him to ask me how many powders to use.  I may as well go outside and tell the oak tree how many powders to use as to tell Aaron.  But I tell him, regardless, and then take the spoon to actually show him that using two helpings of powders is plenty. 

“Be sure you spin it, Mom,” he reminds me as he watches to make sure I adequately stir the powders into the milk.  So I spin the powders and the milk, and then offer to carry it to his room so that there are no chocolate drips left all over the floor leading to his desk. 

Another way he leaves signs of what he has eaten is to look at his clothes.  Macaroni leaves no such evidence, such as I saw on his shirt one recent morning.  I asked him about the brown smudge on his pajama shirt.

“I was drinking my coffee,” he explained.  “I got grounds in my mouth and I had to wash it off with my shirt.” 

Of course.  Please, please put that shirt in the hamper.

He knows that some food temptations are sometimes just too much, such as the recent bout of macaroni madness.  Often, he will give me an item of food that’s in his room at bedtime because he knows that the pull is too strong and that he’ll want to get out of bed to eat when he’s supposed to be going to sleep.  One night he thumped up the hall and knocked on our bedroom door after he had gone to bed.  I opened the door and he thrust a bowl of peanuts toward me.

“Mom?” he asked.  “Could you take this out of my room so you can trust me not to eat it tonight?”

I laughed.  No need to try to explain how I don’t need to trust him if the bowl is NOT in his room.  I just loved the way he worded it.

Back to the raw macaroni.  Aaron knows that when he’s in a macaroni mood, the pull will be strong and he will have trouble resisting.  We were in Wal-Mart the other day, after he had put a large dent in my macaroni container.  Aaron was following behind me, singing, “And heaven and nature sing,” without a care in the world or a realization that he was being observed by all the other shoppers nearby.  But suddenly he was aware that we were in the pasta aisle, so he told me that I should buy more noodles.

“Mom, you should get more noodles because I’m making you lose less macaroni and cheese noodles,” he said as we walked up the pasta aisle. 

I know.  Try to figure out that sentence.  I just kept going.

“Mom!  You passed the macaroni and cheese noodles!” he exclaimed.

Yes, Aaron, and I imagine you’ll be passing them for quite some time.  No new noodles today.

Keep singing!

 

Aaron’s Notes

I saw this on Gary’s desk the other day.

 

This note was written by Aaron, and it made me smile.  He was obviously in a happy mood that day, particularly toward Gary, and so he expressed it as he often does with a little note.  Aaron’s not being disrespectful in calling his dad by his first name.  I mean, Gary is Gary’s name, right?  Aaron knows that we try to get him to call others by their first names instead of saying, “Hey, you!”  Or just saying, “Hey!”…..and then pointing, as he did often during our recent trip to see family.  So on this day of note making, Dad was Gary….and we smile at that.

Aaron keeps copious lists of many areas of his life.  He writes down the chapter that he just finished when he stops watching a movie.  He writes down his computer game notes and stopping points.  He keeps this list of his going to bed and getting up in the morning times:

 

And this list of our Skip-Bo wins:

 

Aaron also loves his Post-It notes.  He leaves various messages in various places, like the one that he left on Gary’s desk.  Some of his messages are not so nice, though.  Like this one a couple years ago that he left on his door during a very grouchy morning.  I got that message loud and clear……and I’ll admit that I thought it was pretty funny, although I didn’t share that sentiment with Aaron.

 

He sometimes leaves me reminder notes.

 

He has left sweet notes, and sometimes not so sweet notes, to the various staff at his day group.  Here is one that Barb sent me, a note that Aaron wrote on her desk calendar.

 

But by far my favorite note is this one that he left on my desk quite awhile ago, and that I still keep there.

 

I like looking at it on bad days, especially.  It always makes me smile.

I love you, too, Aaron……sweat and all. 

Only If It’s Friday!

I just have to quickly share with you a perfect autism moment with Aaron that I had yesterday.  One of the characteristics of autism that Aaron sometimes displays is that he doesn’t always understand jokes or irony.  We had the funniest display of this yesterday that I’ve seen in a long time. 

He stayed home yesterday because we had an appointment with his state insurance representative.  I decided to make a quick trip to Dillon’s, and of course Aaron went with me.  I told him that he could have his favorite Cheddar Pasta Salad for lunch, so he was very happy as we walked into the store.  Aaron always gets a large container, by the way.  That’s important to remember.  Oh, and it’s also important to remember that yesterday was Friday.

We waited for awhile at the deli counter before an employee walked up behind us on her way to help us.  Aaron was a tad impatient at having to wait, and was just ready to order his large salad.  As the lady asked what we wanted, Aaron ordered in his usual way.

“Can I have a large Cheddar Pasta Salad?” he asked. 

“Only if it’s FRIDAY!” she answered Aaron, with a big smile as she enjoyed her little joke.

And Aaron just stared at her.  He didn’t smile.  He didn’t laugh.  He only stared at her as if she had three eyes.

I knew exactly what he was thinking.  He was thinking that this woman was dumb.  Of course it’s Friday, he thought.  What is she talking about and why is she smiling at what she said?  It’s just dumb.

Then Aaron gave a little grunt because he suddenly realized that something was expected of him, but he didn’t know exactly what that was.  So he gave a small grunt of acknowledgement as I chuckled and said something about how funny that nice lady was.  What I really wanted to do was bend over and begin a loud belly laugh, but I knew that would only frustrate Aaron further, so I resisted.  And the look on the poor woman’s face was pretty priceless, although I felt a little sorry for her. 

Then it got even better.  There were no large containers on this Friday, so the lady said that she would fill two medium containers.  Oh boy.

“But I want a large,” Aaron told her.

I then told Aaron that two of the medium containers equaled one of the large containers. 

The nice lady began to fill a medium container.

“But I want a large,” Aaron repeated.

“Well, we don’t have a large but I’ll fill two mediums,” the lady repeated.

Aaron watched her closely as she filled the first medium container.

“I wanted a large,” Aaron said.

“Aaron,” I said, “two mediums are the same as one large.”  I then pointed to the sample containers on display to prove my point.

“I can’t have a large?” Aaron asked.

Sigh.

“Look, Aaron,” I said.  “You’re getting the same amount in the two mediums as you would get in a large.  Maybe even more!”

He was quiet as the worker finished filling the second medium container.  She handed them to us and wished us a happy day, saying nothing that time about it being Friday.  Smart woman.

I put the two medium containers in our cart. 

“So she didn’t have a large?” Aaron asked.

Sigh.

We walked off as I expounded on the wonderful qualities of getting two medium containers.

“But they didn’t have a large container?” Aaron asked.

I quit counting how many times during that short shopping trip that Aaron repeated, “She didn’t have a large container?”

Up one aisle and down another, Aaron was trying to process having to eat out of two medium containers instead of one large.  Not even getting a bag of Starburst jelly beans deterred him from talking about the absence of his usual large container. 

In this one little excursion to Dillon’s, I saw the complexities and the rigidity of autism in two distinct ways.  It doesn’t matter how long I live with Aaron, it’s always amazing to see how his mind works.  Plus it’s often downright hilarious.

And not “Only if it’s FRIDAY!”  HaHaHa!

It’s every day with Aaron!

 

Something About Subway

For some reason, whenever I take Aaron to Subway, I find that it’s quite an experience.  Actually, I’m the one having the experiences as I watch Aaron and listen to Aaron and try to hush Aaron and so forth.  What is it with Subway?  Maybe because it takes so long to order there if anyone is in front of us, and if Aaron has time on his hands, there’s no telling what will happen. 

Aaron told me after one of our trips, when he was with Zach, that they had gotten a sub at Subway.  “Subway is a nutritious food area,” he told me.  So earlier this week he asked me if we could have a sub on Friday night, and I told him that we would do this if he had a good week.  So seeing that he had a good week, and seeing that Aaron never forgets any prospect of food, he and I were off to Subway shortly after he came home today.

I was hoping we were early enough to be there alone, with no one in front of us.  No such luck.  There was a mom with two children already there, just placing their orders.  I told Aaron to slow down, that we would have to wait our turn, and I gave him the usual “Shhh” sign as he began talking loudly.  It took several “shhhh’s” before he finally halfway whispered.  I was trying to get Aaron to go ahead and tell me the kind of bread he wanted, and the kind of sub, but he said he wanted to wait until we got up to the counter……meaning that he would take forever to decide as he tried to find a picture to match his sandwich choice, identify the proper bread, talk about the cheese, etc. 

In order to help locate the exact meat he wanted, he started edging closer to the family in front of us, craning his neck to look around their shoulders.  I quietly motioned for him to stand back.  He doesn’t worry much about other’s personal space and he definitely doesn’t notice their wary stares.  I whispered for him to come back and stand beside me, but Aaron didn’t follow my whispering lead at all. 

“Should I tell them they’re in the way?” he asked in his normal voice…..which is too loud.  He also doesn’t notice my looks of frustration or embarrassment. 

“No, Aaron,” I told him again in a whisper.  “They’re not in the way.  You are.” 

But Aaron was already intent on listening to the mother as she requested the  veggies for her sub.  “She wants pickles!” Aaron told me, not in a whisper.  “Who would want pickles?!” he continued.

How many ways can I tell him to hush, I wondered?

At this point, Aaron was getting a little frustrated at the wait.  He saw another employee behind the counter, but this young man was working on a malfunctioning piece of equipment. 

“Hello?” Aaron blurted out.  So again I told Aaron to be quiet.

“I’m trying to get his attention,” Aaron explained, as I explained to him that this young man was not making subs right now. 

Finally it was our turn.  I had already figured out that Aaron wanted ham, but when I let him do the ordering, he just pointed to the meats and said, “I want that one.”  Like this poor girl would know which one Aaron wanted?  And he hadn’t even told her the bread choice yet.  So with some patience from her, and from me, Aaron finally began his order correctly.  She laid Aaron’s sub aside as she turned to take my order before beginning the veggies.

“Wait!” Aaron said.  “I want tomatoes and….” he started to say, but I told him to wait.  So he tried to be patient as I got Gary’s sub ordered, and then mine.  Aaron watched the nice girl spread the Gouda cheese on mine, but he couldn’t resist giving his opinion.

“That looks like barf!” he told us.  And I was glad that no one was behind us.

Aaron finally got to order his veggies, the way he always does. 

“Can I have tomatoes?”

“Can I have lettuce?”

“Can I have onions?”

“Can I have cucumbers?”

And he told her that he wanted mayonnaise.  Yay!  He didn’t call it white mustard this time!

I finished the rest of our order.  “I’ll take spinach, lettuce, tomatoes…..Aaron, don’t press the debit machine buttons……jalepenos, cucumbers……Aaron, don’t mess with the tea dispenser…….black olives, onions……Aaron, I said don’t press the debit machine buttons……and mayonnaise and a little oil.”

Aaron decided to whistle then…..a song we had just listened to on the radio.  The girl guessed that he was whistling The Lion Sleeps Tonight, which made Aaron very happy and which reminded him that he should tell her about the movie he had been to see today with his day group.

“Have you seen San Andreas?!” he excitedly asked her.  Except that Aaron pronounces the word “Andreas” the way he says his sister’s name, so it comes out as if he’s talking about San Andrea’s.  Our server was confused, but Aaron wasn’t, so he launched right into as many movie details as he could manage while she finished wrapping our sandwiches.  He bent over and rubbed his hands together, which only added to the comedy of this whole situation, as he breathlessly told of falling buildings and cracks in the earth and the lines on the earthquake machine going WAY up!  I finally got him to quit talking when I told him that he shouldn’t tell her all about the movie before she saw it, and he laughed and agreed and somewhat calmed down as I paid for our subs…..finally.

We said goodbye and headed for the door.  I thought we were nearly ready to escape as I pushed it open, and then realized that Aaron was not behind me.  And there he was, bending over beside the trash can, picking something up off the floor.  He sure can move fast for a big guy.

I could only imagine what it was that he was now putting in his hand, but as he stood I saw that it was only someone’s receipt.  He had already turned and was headed back to the front when I stopped him. 

“But I thought they wanted it,” he explained as I told him to throw it away.  He reluctantly tossed the receipt in the trash, sorry that he couldn’t do a good deed.  And probably especially sorry that he couldn’t once again talk to the nice girl who had already listened to far more than she had bargained for, I’m sure. 

Whew!  That was over!  And I smiled as I thought of Aaron saying, “Hello?” to the young man behind the counter, and then explaining that he was just trying to get his attention. 

Little does Aaron know that he doesn’t have to TRY to get anyone’s attention.  It comes pretty natural, trust me!

Aaron’s Funny Comments

Aaron’s Funny Comments

In keeping with the name of this blog……He Said WHAT?……I decided to just share some of Aaron’s funny comments.  I keep notes on my phone, in a notebook, on slips of paper – just wherever I can quickly jot down what he says.  I can’t remember for long the unique way that he has of expressing himself, so I do lots of grabbing and writing.  Maybe this will give you a reason to smile today.  Here goes!

 

Chick Flick:  “Annie is a girl movie.  Not a boy movie kind of way.”

 

About his thinning hair, as he explained that he’s not totally bald:  “I don’t mean being bald in one spot.  I mean being bald on different parts of my head.” 

 

After hitting his knee on the wall:  “I think I knocked my muscle!”

 

Aliens:  “That alien had a mad eye.”

 

Accents:  “What kind of accent are they from?  British?”

 

Aaron:  “Barb listens to Zach Brown.”  Me:  “Does she like them?”  Aaron:  “I don’t know.  I didn’t get to that yet.”

 

Commercial for Olive Garden:  “I remember when I got sick at Oliver Garden.”

 

Famous name:  “Sir Francis Bacon reminds me of food.”

 

Why does he need two deodorants?  “I’m separate.  I keep one in the bathroom for after I shower, and one in my bedroom for night.”

 

Coupons:  “Do you think razor coupons are getting famous?”

 

Basketball:  “Your Wichita State is the one with the blue suit on.”

 

Sponge Bob:  “I’m not a Sponge Bob cartoon watcher.”

 

Money for mall food:  “You didn’t give me enough for $5.36.  You only gave me $5.24.”

 

Describing shrimp:  “It’s a twist thing.”

 

Eating pizza:  “There’s a piece to a sausage on the floor.  Can Jackson have it?”

 

Letting Jackson lick his milkshake cup:  “I’m just giving him the pieces that are on the wall of the milkshake.”

 

After his tooth was filled:  “The hurtness is almost gone.”

 

Describing a tea bag:  “Where’s the tea filling?”

 

I hope that some of these Aaronisms made you smile, and maybe even laugh, today.  I whittled down some of my list, but there are many more where those came from.  And as soon as Aaron zooms in the door today, I better be ready to hear some more. 

Enjoy your world today, everyone!  Pay attention to every detail, because you just might miss something if you don’t.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unlock the Door!

I’m switching gears here and writing today, not about Aaron, but about Andrea.  Hey, when you’re in this family, you’re fair game!  HeHe.    Actually, she gave me her permission, so all is well.  I hope.

Andrea has packed a lifetime of experiences into the less than a year that she has lived in Houston.  We’ve gotten so we say, “If it can happen, it will happen to Andrea, in Houston.”  I won’t even attempt to list all the events of her life that have occurred over the past 8+ months.  No one would read a blog that long.  But I do want to tell you about her latest…..at least her latest as of today, that I know of. 

It was this past weekend, on Sunday, that Andrea returned to her apartment after being out.  She put her key in the lock only to find that her apartment door would not open.  She soon realized the problem.  It seemed that her dead bolt was locked, but it only locks and unlocks from the inside.  Very strange.  But her mind quickly remembered a friend whose dog had managed to somehow jump up and lock her dead bolt.  Andrea was sure that one, or both, of her dogs had done just that while she was out.  Darcy and Oakley, in fact, were in the apartment wondering why Andrea wasn’t coming inside.

And Andrea was outside her locked door, realizing her situation, and grasping for straws.  “Come on, Darcy,” she said.  “Jump!  Unlock the door.”  Nothing.  

“Oakley!” she continued.  “Come on!  Jump!  Unlock the door.”  Still nothing but the sound of panting dogs, wondering why Andrea didn’t open the door as always and come inside.

She realized how ridiculous she sounded, but it was about to get worse.  She reached into her purse and pulled out her credit card, thinking that perhaps she could break into her own apartment.  There she was, bent over a little and working hard to unlock her door……with a credit card…….when the apartment door across from her opened and out walked the occupants whom she had not yet met.  They were somewhat shocked at what they saw, which was Andrea trying to open her door…..with a credit card. 

She gave an awkward little laugh, and said, “Ummm, I live here.  Really, I do.  My dogs locked me out.”

They looked at her with very suspicious eyes.  She thinks they believed her as they asked if there was anything they could do, but there really wasn’t anything they could do unless they knew more about breaking and entering than she did.  Apparently not, because they went on their way.  Trusting souls.  Their apartment could have been next. 

Her dogs locked her out?  Really?

Seeing that her breaking and entering skills were dismal, Andrea called the weekend apartment maintenance number.  Of course, there was no answer, so she left a message…..and she waited…..and waited…..and waited. 

She called again, reminding the missing maintenance person that darkness would be coming before long.  Then she called her friends, Joe and Eva, who are such sweet people.  Joe and Eva drove right over to assess the situation, which was fairly simple.   Jumping dogs had locked Andrea out of her apartment.  That was pretty much it.

Andrea’s apartment has a balcony and Andrea knew that she could get in the balcony door.  But did I mention that her apartment is on the third floor?  Yes, third floor.  So, a ladder was needed.  A tall ladder.  Joe did not have a tall ladder.  Joe called Home Depot, and asked a question.  If we buy a ladder, can we use it and return it?  And Home Depot said yes.  Really?  They said yes?! 

Andrea, Joe, and Eva were looking at the very tall ladders at Home Depot when Andrea’s phone rang.  It was the missing maintenance man, who said he had a tall ladder.  Off they drove back to the locked apartment without having to buy a tall Home Depot ladder……or return it. 

Andrea had to try to explain to the probably somewhat skeptical maintenance man that her dogs had locked her out of her apartment.  Yes, they really did.  He got his tall ladder around to the back of her building, which faces a busy street, and positioned it up against the balcony.  He wanted to do the climbing, and Joe wanted to do the climbing, but Andrea said no.  She knew that Darcy and Oakley would go crazy up there if they saw a man coming over their balcony.  And when he entered the apartment, it wouldn’t be pretty. 

That’s why many people driving on the busy street……and others inside the lower apartments who were eating supper or watching TV at that moment……must have wondered why they saw a young woman climbing a very tall ladder up to a balcony.  Then she carefully climbed from the ladder over her balcony railing, and landed safely on the other side.  Thinking of it makes me nervous, but not Andrea.  She’s as brave and calm as they come. 

Darcy and Oakley were beside themselves with excitement when they saw their girl coming up the tall ladder and climbing over the railing to the balcony.  They seemed to think that this was the most fun thing that had happened to them in a long time!  Andrea thanked Joe and Eva, and she thanked the missing maintenance man who had showed up with the tall ladder, and she tried to fuss at Darcy and Oakley.  But they’re just too cute to be mad at for long. 
 
Darcy seems to be laughing about the fun they had!
 

They’re probably wondering when their girl is going to climb over the balcony again.  She’s got the dead bolt doggie proofed now, she hopes.  But I wouldn’t put it past those two.  Not at all. 

Should have gotten her a tall ladder for Christmas. 

 

I Worked on a House!


As I wrote in my last blog, Aaron had a rough seizure day on Tuesday of this week.  When he made it downstairs that morning, he said, “Mom, I don’t feel good.  The reason was……I’m guessing was……I couldn’t sleep well last night.”  Thankfully, he doesn’t remember his seizures and so he was trying to understand why his head hurt and why he felt terrible.  He had another seizure later that morning.  His whole day was spent on the couch.
That night I played a game of Skip-Bo with him.  It was sad to just sit there and watch him…..so slow and clumsy.  He had a hard time holding the cards, and it took him a long time to think of the moves to make…..decisions which usually come quickly to him.  In fact, when we play Skip-Bo he is often urging me to hurry up.  But on this night he was really out of it.  I prefer the quick, sharp Aaron for sure……even when he’s trying to cheat! 
But on Wednesday he was well enough to go to his day group, and by Thursday he was fully back to normal.  On Thursday morning I took him with me to Chick-fil-A, where we got a free breakfast biscuit.  We brought it back to the house and sat at our table, enjoying every bite.  I was enjoying Aaron’s laughter, though, and his being back to his usual funny self. 
That afternoon, when he returned from his day group, he bounded in the house in his usual loud fashion.  He found me downstairs and as always, with no hello or any other greeting, he immediately said, “Mom!  I worked on a house today!!”  He then excitedly explained that he had gone with Brian, one of the staff, to work on one of Paradigm’s residential houses.  Brian is getting this new house ready for clients to move into, so Aaron was one that went with Brian to help.
Now helping in this fashion is totally out of character for Aaron, so I was surprised.  Surprised that Aaron went……surprised as he told me that he helped……and very surprised that Aaron was excited about it.  He told me that he helped Brian put up “fire detectors.”  And that he helped Brian by handing him tools.  And that he helped “tear carpet.”
“Mom!  We cut carpet with a slicer!!”  
Well, I know Aaron loved that because he always wants to help me cut vegetables in the kitchen.  You know…..a guy and a knife.  But this isn’t always a good mix with Aaron involved.  I asked Aaron if he liked all this house work that he did.
“Well, it wasn’t my favorite,” he replied.  “I’m not a house person.”
And I smiled……and smiled again when he saw me talking that night on the phone with Gary.  Aaron leaned close to my face several times while I talked to Gary.  “Mom!!” he tried to whisper……but not quite achieving that, as usual.  “Mom!!  Can I tell dad that I worked on a house?”  
So I let him tell Dad that he worked on a house, while I watched Aaron grin from ear to ear as he talked.  He paced the family room over and over as he talked about the “fire detectors” and the carpet and the tools.  It was fun to see……and I knew that Gary shared my surprise at this working on a house business that Aaron has rarely enjoyed before.  
Aaron had also told me that one of the other clients went along to help as well.  I was a little concerned when he told me that it was J who went, because Aaron and J often seem to have issues.  But Aaron said things went well between them, except that he added:  “Well, some of the time J and I were rowdying around.”
Now I wonder what Brian would add to that…..but I’m not sure I’ll ask.  I want to relish the thought of my new handyman Aaron, at least for a while.
And there was one more element to this working day that Aaron had.  Lunch.  Aaron’s favorite activity, by far.
“Mom!!  Brian took us to a Chinese restaurant!  We had soup that looked like it had worms in it……and parsley weeds!!”
Well, isn’t that the most appetizing meal I could imagine?  I know that Aaron will never be a promoter for a restaurant.  I’ll mark that off his possible job list.
He seemed to fully enjoy the wormy soup, though, and the egg rolls he told me he ate, because when I asked him later if he wanted some supper, he said, “No, I’m full.  That Chinese restaurant…..their food is BIG!”
Aaron, it’s not the food that’s BIG.  
Later, Aaron and I took Jackson on a walk around our back yard.  After all that BIG food, I especially wanted to take Aaron on a walk! 
We were near the end of our walk when Aaron sighed and said, “I’m tired after doing all that fixing!”
It’s hard being a house person, isn’t it, Aaron?  Hard for you…..but so much fun for me!

A Bathtub and Other Stuff


My goodness, is August nearly over already?!  I seriously don’t know where the time goes anymore……and I realize that I’m sounding just like my Grandma used to sound.  Funny how that happens.  I feel like Aaron when he came into the kitchen after we had been into August a day or two.  He saw that my calendar page had been flipped to August and he said, with great surprise, “I didn’t know it was August!  I guess I wasn’t paying attention.  I was still on that July thing!”
Some days I think I’m still on that March or April thing!  Then I walk outside and am hit with these typical Kansas August temperatures.  UGH!  The temperature was 102 today when I took Aaron down to get him a haircut at Great Clips.  His name was called quickly because I had signed him in online.  It’s always nice to be called fast, probably more for me than for Aaron.  I never know what Aaron will say or do while we sit there in that small waiting area……….but I do enjoy the looks on the faces of the others sitting there with us as they try to figure out Aaron.  Good luck with that.  But today he didn’t have time for hardly a word before his name was called.  He stood up and I reminded him to hand me his glasses…….and as always, he stood there and also took off his watch.  He would have also given me his ring if he was wearing it.  I always wonder if the other patrons are waiting for him to remove his shirts and shorts. 
The haircut and beard trim went quickly.  Aaron answered the hair dresser’s questions but didn’t make any conversation today.  I handed the girl his debit card, which she swiped while he was putting on his watch and his glasses.  He signed the receipt, humming his monotone hum the whole time, which made both the hair dresser and me smile.  Then he grabbed a Dum-Dum lollipop from the gift display on the counter while I took the Great Clips pen from his hand before he stuffed it into his pocket.  I know him so well.  But not well enough, because while I finished writing her tip on the receipt, Aaron said that he would be right back as he quickly turned and was out the door before I knew it. 
Oh brother, I thought!  And just as soon as I got to the Great Clips door to leave, Aaron was barreling back inside……all smiles……..telling me that he had tried to open the door of the martial arts studio nearby.  He has asked and asked and asked about that place, so he decided to grab the opportunity and check it out himself.  Too bad it was closed…..for Aaron it was too bad.  Not for the unsuspecting people in there who would have been loudly interrupted if Aaron had been allowed to barge in.  I must remember this the next time Aaron gets his hair cut………or somehow manage to always take him on Sundays, when the martial arts studio is closed!
Aaron has had some intestinal trouble today, which for Aaron nearly always means diarrhea.  Usually he comes up to me and very softly says, “Mom, I have a problem.”  And I nearly always know what he means.  The other day he said, “Mom, the way I pour my cheese, it gives me diarrhea.”  
No, Aaron, it’s the way that you EAT your cheese cubes that gives you diarrhea.  More specifically, the amount you eat…….which is the amount you pour in your bowl.  OK, maybe it IS the way you pour your cheese that gives you diarrhea.  I need to think about that.  He’s usually right, in the long run.  Sorry for the pun.
Speaking of puns and irony, Aaron doesn’t get those at all.  He loves to read the comics, at least a few favorites, every day.  He read this comic in the paper during supper the other night.  I so wish I could describe the conversation between him and Gary as Gary tried to explain it to him.  I should have just grabbed my paper and started taking notes right then.  Aaron totally didn’t get the comic.  I ended up with the remnants of the conversation after supper as Aaron still tried to understand what the bowling pins meant. 
“I get it!” he finally said.  “They’re just gonna ACT like they fell!”
Well, not really, Aaron.  And off I went again, trying to explain it.
“I get it!!” he said again.  “They don’t want to be hit!”
Again I explained.
“I get it!!” the broken record repeated.  And I waited.
“They’ll act like the fell DOWN!!!”
Whatever.  Yes, Aaron!  Hahaha!  Isn’t that funny?!  
He agreed and we were both happy.  Sometimes I just have to come to grips with the fact that he will NOT ever get it…….ever.  And he is happy, so I may as well be, too.
I got him a new set of sheets last week.  He was with me when we found them at Big Lots and he LOVED them.  Cheetah print sheets……….right up Aaron’s alley for sure!  They went very well with his animal print fuzzy blanket that he loves.  I washed the sheets and last Saturday we put them on his bed.  He was very happy.
But not for long.  He came downstairs a couple mornings later and with great disappointment told me that those sheets just didn’t work.  I asked what was wrong with them and off we went into the world of Aaron trying to concretely explain the reason that the sheets didn’t work.   But he just couldn’t do it.  He couldn’t explain what was wrong, even as he used hand gestures and tried to answer my questions.  We went up to his bed and I saw that the top sheet had gone way down, so we fixed it and I hoped for the best.  
The next day it was the same story…..and the next.  He said the side came undone.  He said the sheet was too big.  He said it was the leopard part that didn’t work……although I thought they were cheetah, but I didn’t say that.  It was already too confusing.  I told him that I thought the texture of the sheets made them slick.  “Yeah!!” he agreed.  “They slick off of me!!”  There!  We had it!
Finally on Wednesday we just took the top sheet totally off and put on another top sheet.  However, the bottom fitted sheet kept wrinkling up……and with Aaron’s tactile issues, this wasn’t working.  It was a HUGE relief yesterday to take the sheets completely off and make his bed with a tried and true pair of sheets that I know will work.  The cheetah/leopard sheets are cleaned and nicely folded, waiting for the next donation pick-up.  
Lots of other things happened this week.  Let’s see……he stubbed his toes, but they’re OK.  Aaron goes on and on when something like that happens, wanting to talk it to death and figure out every aspect of his stubbed toes.  He finally pointed to his toes and said, “Mom, it was just these two toes.  Have you hit your few toes before?”
I assured him that I have indeed hit my few toes before and it sure felt like I had hit LOTS of toes.  And he understood that and he agreed.
Wheel of Fortune finished up their Spa Week.  Aaron was very interested in just what a spa is and what one does at a spa.  He finally felt like he had a handle on it…….unlike the bowling ball comic……and couldn’t wait to share his understanding with me.
“Mom!  A spa is where they get in a bathtub and other stuff!”
I wonder if I want to know what the other stuff is.
And I have just written about a lot of “other stuff” that has been our week with Aaron.  I could write a lot more “other stuff” but I should stop here…..for your sake.  I always have more stuff, trust me, after each day with Aaron.
Tomorrow we start a new week.  New ups.  New downs.  New stuff.
Here goes!