Category: Adult Autism

Messy Grace

Last Friday when I went into Aaron’s room to wake him up and get him going for the day, I knew that something was off.  Sure enough, Aaron’s bed was soaked.  He had a seizure the day before, but I hadn’t heard one that previous night, so maybe he just drank too much water before bed.  Thoughts of that continuing issue with the amount of water he drinks made me a little irritated.

So did the fact that because of so many other things going on…and now tons of laundry to do…I had to cancel lunch plans with a friend I hadn’t seen in forever.  This was our second time to cancel.  GRRRR!

But I’ve learned to look at the positives at times like that.  I have a washer and dryer, and they work.  I have the time and freedom to change my day around.  And now Aaron’s bedding would be totally clean and fresh.  Every single bit of it…from the mattress pad up!  Oh, and I am ALWAYS very thankful for a super heavy duty and trustworthy waterproof mattress pad!  Am I ever!

The rest of our day went as planned.  I picked Aaron up from his day group, we went to Wal-Mart, got subs for supper, watched a qualifying run of NHRA racing, and had a nice time with all of it.

Later, not long before I was going to get Aaron from his room so we could watch a Walton’s episode, I heard a thump.  I was sure it was from his room.  I heard him walking so I knew it wasn’t him.  Soon he was in the family room, looking at me with some hesitation on his face.

“Mom?” he asked in a measured tone.  “Can you come to my room?  I need to show you something.”

I was comfortable on the couch.  It was nearing 8:30. I was winding down physically and mentally.  I was in no mood to go to his room and probably look at something on his computer that he just HAD to show me.

“Aaron, I don’t want to go up to your room right now.  Let’s just watch The Waltons,” I countered.

“No, Mom!” he insisted, “I need you to come up to my room now!”

Then I remembered the thump.

“Aaron,” I began with more calm than I felt.  “Did you break something?”

“Yes!!” he answered.  “It was my lava lamp!”

Now, you must understand that this was not just any lava lamp.  This was a GLITTER lava lamp. 

I was such a good mom at that moment.

“OH AARON!!!  YOU DIDN’T!!!!” I not-so-calmly replied.

I did not want to walk up those stairs.

I did not want to walk in his room.

I did not want to see what I soon saw.

There, on the floor beside his bed and under his bed was thick blue oozing goo. 

And not just any goo.

It was thick blue oozing GLITTERY goo!!

Let me tell you, I groaned and I huffed and I puffed and I complained the whole entire time I was cleaning up that awful mess. 

Poor Aaron wanted to help but there wasn’t much he could do.  I knew that there wasn’t room for both me and Gary to be in there working so I didn’t even tell him what was going on.  I just continued to bluster and blow as I sopped up the thick mess with a couple of old beach towels.  I even told Aaron to just throw them away.  I didn’t want eternal glitter in my washing machine!!

My washing machine, which had been running a good part of the day already as I cleaned up Aaron’s OTHER big mess!!

Oh, how my mind was working!  Poor me!!  My life is all about overseeing and cleaning up one thing after another!  Boo-hoo-hoo!! 

But I looked up from where I was kneeling on the floor trying to shine a flashlight under the bed so I could see sparkly goopy glitter hiding out…and there was Aaron sitting cross legged on the bed, telling me over and over that he was sorry.

Wanting more than anything to DO anything to help me.

My heart kinda broke for him and I felt such empathy for him.

That’s grace…not the kind that I can create, but the kind that God puts in my heart for this special son who can surely push my buttons but pull my heart strings at the same time. 

Later, after all the clean up and after the Walton’s was watched…as we got Aaron’s bedtime routine completed…a storm rolled in.  If there is one thing that Aaron absolutely loves, it’s a storm.

“Mom!!  Do you think I should keep my blinds open?”

I told him yes and to enjoy the lightning.  I was going to bed, finally, and that is all I wanted to do. 

But that’s not all that Aaron wanted me to do.

“MOM!  Come look at the lightning!  It’s BRIGHT!!”

Soooo, I stifled my huge sigh and walked once more into the room that twice already that day held so much frustration for me.

I stood at Aaron’s windows for a minute and soon there it was…FLASH!!  Bright lightning, followed by Aaron exclaiming, “Did you see that, Mom??!!”

I sat on the end of Aaron’s bed and immediately he threw back his covers.  In another flash, he was right beside me, and there we sat watching the impressive light show, brought to us by God.

And I was ever so thankful for God’s grace in that moment.  Grace from Him to me and Aaron in the form of such bright beauty out that window.

Grace to have my tired mind and body refreshed as I sat there enjoying all the sights and sounds of a good Kansas thunderstorm.

Grace to forget the messy day and to focus on happy Aaron.

Messy grace.

God extends that kind of grace to me every single day.

How can I not also extend it to Aaron in the midst of dirty bedding and glittery lava lamp mess?

Thank you for Your grace in all my messy places, God. 

And thank You for giving me the grace to show Your grace to Aaron.

However, I do not believe I will be buying another glitter lava lamp. 😁😁

Aaron Riding High

Today after church, Gary and I went to lunch with our sweet friends, Phil and Lydia.  Phil is a business owner, and also a farmer.  They were talking about wheat harvest, which is happening now. 

Aaron has been loving a new game, Farm Simulator, so I asked if maybe we could come out and look at the farm.

“Sure!” Phil said.  “Aaron can ride with me on the combine.”

That was so much more than I expected!  How exciting!

Lydia picked me and Aaron up later, and off we went, headed west.  The golden waves of Kansas grain are so beautiful right now.  All along the way, here and there, we could see the combines out in the fields harvesting the wheat.

We got to the field, and soon there came Phil.  As he emptied some wheat, Aaron followed him to the combine.

Soon he was climbing the ladder.

And off they went!

How fun to watch that huge combine do its job!  And to know that Aaron was sitting up there!

What a fun day for Aaron! 

Thank you, Phil and Lydia, for being so kind and for giving Aaron another first-time and exciting experience.

Our Texas Trip – Part 3

I want to wind up my tales of our Texas trip with this blog…I hope.  This doesn’t need to drag on for weeks!  😊

I told about the Aquarium Pyramid in Galveston in my last blog.  A few days after that adventure, we went back to Galveston to go see the Rainforest Pyramid.  These are such unique buildings!

Aaron loved the Rainforest as well, although he wasn’t over the moon excited like he was in the aquarium.  Still, it was great fun to see all sorts of rainforest birds:

Flowers:

Fish:

And when I turned around, it was not such great fun to see Aaron’s hand stretched out toward this cute little monkey and see the monkey holding Aaron’s finger!!  Actually, it was adorable, but we knew he wasn’t supposed to touch the animals.  And then he told a worker about his fun moment, and he got a nice lecture.  😊

It was another wonderful day for all of us.

And ended with supper at Skipper’s.

I wanted to also share a few of the sweet family moments that made this trip extra special. 

Our son, Andrew, was in town for an NHRA race.  He lives near Indianapolis where the teams are located, and he travels all over, so we don’t see him nearly enough.  We usually go to the Houston race but the chance of the race being cancelled due to COVID kept us from buying tickets this year.  Here is a shot of what he does – he’s in the center, starting the top fuel car.

He was able to come over to Andrea and Kyle’s house for an evening.  It was so wonderful to all be together for the first time since I don’t know when. 

We took a picture that’s not the greatest quality but still shows the greatest time together. And look at Aaron!  😊

Another sweet moment was playing Skip-Bo with Andrea.  Aaron keeps a notebook record of who wins each game when he and I play. 

But as we played with Andrea, Aaron REALLY wanted her to win.  He watched her cards carefully and would purposely not play his if it meant she could play hers instead.  Therefore, she won the game and Aaron was thrilled!  He had already gotten a piece of paper and very happily gave her a column with her first win mark.  It was just precious!

Kyle promised to play catch outside with Aaron on Saturday, but it poured rain all day.  Therefore, Kyle grabbed some soft dog toys and played catch with Aaron inside, which tickled Aaron to pieces.

Aaron had lots of quality doggie time, which he loved…and so did the dogs (for the most part!).  They certainly knew where to go to have a treat slipped to them!

On the morning we left to go home, Aaron was all packed up and ready to hit the road. 

Aaron:  I’m sad to leave Andrea.

Me:  So you’ll want to come back again and see her?

Aaron:  Nah.

😆😆

But he did worry all the way home about leaving her and whether she was lonely.  We didn’t tell him that she might have been enjoying the quiet.

So, again, I want to thank all of you that were praying for us on this vacation.  This trip truly was the best ever with Aaron, and we are very sure it was due to all the prayers from all of you.  Thank you so, so much!

And thank you for reading about our fun times and all the sweet memories made. 

Our Texas Trip – Part 2

In my previous blog, I shared with you some of the difficulties Aaron had as we went to Texas to see our other children.  Kyle and Andrea live just east of Houston, and our son Andrew was going to be in town there for an NHRA race – he works for one of the teams.

Aaron loves talking to his siblings on the phone.  He could go on for hours, literally, talking about all his interests.  But suddenly the idea of actually being with them was not so appealing.  It’s the traveling and leaving his comfort zone that he simply cannot handle. 

We all know Aaron very well and have come to expect his anger when his world is upended.  During Christmas, we refer to Aaron’s Annual Christmas Meltdown as we know it will inevitably occur.  So on this week of vacation and visiting, we were fully expecting Aaron’s Annual Vacation Meltdown.

We started our week off in a safe mode, doing something Aaron loves – shopping!  He was happy to go to Sam’s with me and Andrea, carting home extra goodies that he chose.  He was more relaxed and happy that day, until we told him that the next day we were going to the Aquarium Pyramid in Galveston. 

His discomfort level rose as he contemplated tackling one more unfamiliar place.  But when we showed him a video of some of the displays there, his interest overcame his doubt.  And oh my goodness, what a day we had!

The building itself is beautiful:

And once inside, Aaron was beside himself excited!  He loved every single minute.  Everyone nearby heard and saw his joy as he laughed and pointed and talked up a storm.  The day was truly delightful.  Here are some pictures.

Near the entrance, with Gary and Andrea:

He LOVED the penguins: 🙂 🙂

The tunnel was amazing:

He got to pet the Manta Rays, but the first time he bent over in a deeper area he started to fall in the water!  He would have totally fallen in had Gary and I not grabbed him.  His soaking wet shirt and shorts didn’t bother him in the least.  We went up to a safer place and he carried on while Gary and I held on…to HIM!

A visit to the gift shop ended with us buying Aaron a stuffed penguin he wanted.  On the way out of the aquarium, we passed one more penguin display, where Aaron showed the live penguins his stuffed penguin.  The reaction of the one of the penguins, and of Aaron, was priceless.

https://videopress.com/v/snasq2s0?preloadContent=metadata

We ate lunch at Jimmy’s On The Pier.  It was very windy outside but so beautiful!

What a very fun and wonderful day for all of us, full of happy memories!  I’ll share more in my next Texas blog.  Thanks for reading!

Our Texas Trip – Part 1

I heard an old George Strait song yesterday that could have been Aaron’s theme song leading up to our trip to Texas.  The song is titled “I Hate Everything.”  And oh boy, did Aaron ever!

The night before we left saw us reeling under all Aaron’s verbal blows.  He was livid at having to go with us, far preferring that we hire a caregiver to watch him while Gary and I went alone.  We were definitely with him on that as the evening wore on and we were worn out. 

The next morning was no better.  Aaron didn’t like us, the trip, the car, the snacks we took, Texas, Andrea, Kyle, their dogs…nothing.  The only thing he liked was his idea of staying home and that was NOT going to happen, so we were stuck with lots of “not likes” and plenty of anger. 

“I hate this vacation!!” he declared as we drove down the interstate. 

Aaron does not enjoy leaving his room, his house, his routine, his bed…his normal.  These things are such a part of what makes Aaron function in his normal that the process of uprooting, even for just a week, is nearly more than he can bear. 

Aaron accepted his inevitable doom as we drove farther away from normal.  Gary and I left him to his games, his music, and his movies as we quietly recovered.  How draining it all was!  I texted and messaged friends and family to please pray.  What a comfort it was to know that we were being brought before the Lord!  I know that many of my fellow bloggers were also praying, and I thank you so much for that. 

We stopped a few hours down the road at our favorite Oklahoma City rest area.  And there Aaron found a cute little stuffed owl that we let him buy.  He rubbed his hands together in his happy way as we paid, and Gary and I felt like doing the same as we saw a lifting of Aaron’s anger.  A chocolate milkshake and onion rings from the nearby Sonic gave him further reason to smile. 

It’s a very long drive to Houston, and then even farther to Andrea and Kyle’s house in League City.  Aaron had lots of time to think about the upcoming week of change and uncertainty that he felt waited for him there.  We saw occasional outbursts from him about how he still didn’t like this vacation. 

Finally, there it was…the Houston skyline.

And not too long after, we were pulling into Kyle and Andrea’s driveway.  We could hear their 3 adorable dogs barking as we got out of the car.  Soon we were sharing hugs and doggie pats, settling our things in our rooms, and sitting down to the pizza that was waiting for us.

What a relief it was to see that Aaron was relaxed!  He had immediately given the dogs their treats and toys we had brought to them.  As we sat around the table, I was so touched to see the total attention that Kyle and Andrea paid to Aaron as he talked non-stop. 

That attention to whatever Aaron is saying is one of his major love languages.  The things he talks about can be mind-numbing to us but not to him.  Listening, commenting, answering his many questions…that means more to Aaron than we often stop to recognize.  But Kyle and Andrea know Aaron, and they love him, and they showed it by listening with great interest to his talk of…whatever it was he was saying.  😊

Later, as we were getting ready for bed, Aaron had me fill his water bottle that he keeps by his bed to drink while he reads a book before he goes to sleep.  Got that?  Because that little fact is very important.

I gave Aaron his pills while he was getting in bed.  Not having any other water, I told Aaron to just drink some of the water from that water bottle. 

“No!” Aaron told me.  “I can’t drink that water to take my pills.  That’s the water I drink while I’m reading in bed!”

I was so tired.  I sighed, and Aaron heard me.

“You don’t understand,” he said, with some anger returning.  “No one understands me!”

It was like some of that water splashed me in the face as I was hit with a fresh look into Aaron’s heart.  Try as we might, sometimes it truly is very hard to understand Aaron. 

Or maybe we understand on paper, when things are calm, but in the middle of the moment when we’re stressed it can be very hard to slow down, take a breath, step back, and see the world through Aaron’s eyes.  Feel it with his senses. 

This whole trip was like going to Mars for him in many ways. 

“Please, Mom,” it was like he was saying.  “Don’t also make me use my bedtime water bottle for taking my pills.  Don’t you understand?!”

My rising frustration was immediately replaced with empathy for this son of ours who didn’t ever ask to have autism.  But he does ask that we try to understand him as he lives with the rigidity that autism causes. 

Just understand.

Push aside my exhaustion, my frustration, my expectations – and simply give him a separate glass of water for pill taking.

What a gift that was to Aaron!

And to me as I once again saw him relax.  I knew that I, too, had spoken Aaron’s love language.

I have so much to tell you about our time in Texas.  It was the best trip ever for all of us!  I’ll share more later, hopefully soon, in my upcoming blogs.

Bless all of you for reading and for caring!  Good night and sweet dreams.

Whose Sickness or Health?

Today is our anniversary!  Gary and I have been married 42 years.  I don’t even know how that’s possible, but somehow it is. 

There we stood in my beautiful home church in West Virginia, young and in love, pledging our vows to each other. 

Now we’re old, although I really don’t feel like it most days…and we’re still in love.  Our love is deeper and more settled than those early years, rooted in all the ups and downs of life that we have weathered together.

On my mind today are those familiar vows that are so often spoken at weddings.  We promised to stay true to each other “in sickness and in health.”

Never ever even once did I think of the sickness and health part as being anyone other than Gary or me.  Having a child with lifelong health issues was not anywhere on our radar when we spoke those words to each other and before God.

Today our plans were simple.  We would eat lunch out together while Aaron was at his day group.  Time alone while Aaron was happily occupied was a perfect plan.

Just before 8:00 this morning I heard Aaron having a seizure.  This is not unexpected.  I knew at that moment that our anniversary day plans would be changed. 

Later, when Aaron was awake and hungry, here was our view for a late breakfast on our patio.

And it’s OK, truly.  Gary and I are very used to these sorts of changed plans in our life.  And I am not trying in any way to garner sympathy. 

What has been on my mind this morning is that when Gary and I spoke those vows about sickness, we in reality were referring to our life with Aaron as much as anything – though we had no idea of our future.

Aaron’s life of special needs has been very trying at times.  Yet through it all, Gary has stood right by my side.  He has never wavered due to the stress of it all.  The demands of our many years in the military, his own career decisions, our moves, so many doctors, hospital stays…well, I could go on for a long time about how Aaron’s life has impacted Gary’s in particular.

But Gary never bailed on me or Aaron.  He has led and sacrificed and given of himself to both me and Aaron over and over and over.

So our vows, as I ponder them this morning, have taken on an even sweeter meaning to me. 

Staying true in our son’s sickness and health is indeed the greatest gift of love that I have been given by my husband…my husband of 42 years!! 

Happy Anniversary, Gary!   I love you so much. 

We’ll do a rain check on our lunch.  ♥️♥️

Thanks for Praying!

I knew that some of you who were praying about Aaron’s MRI last Friday might wonder if he was able to have it done.  Days are so busy and get away from me, but I wanted to give a quick update.

He had no seizures the night before the appointment, so he was able to go and complete the test.  All went well and I’m not expecting to get results until his next doctor visit. 

Thank you so much for praying! 

He even went to his day group after the MRI.  He had said he wanted to just come home so going to Paradigm made me happy.  It made him happy, too, to be with his friends.  Victoria had saved him a cupcake, which pleased him greatly. 

And that reminds me that I wanted to share this sweet picture that our friend Barb sent me of Aaron and Victoria.  Aaron was tying her shoe.  Isn’t that the sweetest?!

On Saturday, Aaron and I joined our good friends for a birthday lunch.  Rosa and Aaron used to be in Paradigm together and became special friends.  Every year Louise and I get together for Rosa’s birthday in the spring, and Aaron’s birthday in the fall.  We didn’t get to do it last year due to COVID.  They hadn’t seen each other since November of 2019!  It was so much fun to see them enjoying time together again!

And with Mother’s Day coming up, I’ll share a picture of Rosa and her mom, Louise.

And me with Aaron.

In case I’m not able to post again before Sunday, let me wish each of you dear moms a very wonderful and sweet Mother’s Day!

God bless each of you dear readers!

Smiles and Joy and Prayer

I ended my last blog by saying that we were taking Aaron to the zoo.  I wish you could have seen his excitement and joy at being there with me and Gary.  He has a way of jerking his leg when he’s excited, like a little kick, and he did that multiple times.  He laughed so loud that we had to tell him to tone it down several times.  But his joy gave us such joy, especially after the sadness of the day before. https://hesaidwhatks.blog/2021/04/27/the-autism-two-step/

This was my favorite picture of the day.  He and the gorilla had a moment, and how I wish I knew what that gorilla was thinking!

I sent the picture to our kids and told them that Aaron was the one in the white shirt.  Just kidding, just kidding!! 

Then Andrea said, “That gorilla looks a little miffed.”

“I think he’s been around Aaron,” I told her.  “I’ve seen that look on all our faces.” 😊 😊

On Wednesday, when I picked Aaron up from his day group, he came to the car carrying these.

His friend, Victoria, celebrated her birthday the day before when Aaron was at the zoo, so she saved some balloons for her buddy.  Now Gary has a balloon by his desk, and I have two in our bedroom.  Aaron does love to share.

Like today, after Meals on Wheels, he decided he would save this for Gary.

One French Fry. 

But that one French Fry was very important to Aaron, there among his chicken tenders he brought home.  He immediately gave it to Gary when we walked in the garage, to eat right away, want to or not! 

Aaron can bounce from one thing to another, and one mood to another.  Gary and I are along for the ride on most days.  I sure am thankful to know that God is our driver, though, in the long run. 

Aaron has an MRI of his brain in the morning, just to double check that nothing is going on.  It’s been a long time since he’s had one and his seizures have been a little weird lately, so it’s best to be safe.

I’m praying for no seizures tonight so we can go tomorrow.  Praying for good results.  I would really appreciate your prayers as well, for which I thank all of you VERY much! 

Like I said, how good it is to know that God is in the driver’s seat!

And Aaron is in the front seat, too, if he has his way because he is ALWAYS in the front seat and he must listen to his current music CD and if there is more than one of that group it must be played in the right yearly order and he must control when it comes on and when it goes off and keep track of which song is playing and what number it is and what the title is and……..

The Autism Two-Step

Gary and I are planning a trip to Houston next month.  We’ll stay with our daughter and son-in-law (Kyle and Andrea), and then get to see our other son (Andrew) who will be there for an NHRA race. 

Happy, happy fun times are ahead!  YAY, YAY!!

Wait.  I forgot to mention that we plan to take Aaron. 

Angry, angry times are ahead!  YUCK, YUCK!

That was Aaron speaking.

As many of you know, getting Aaron to travel happily is a stretch.  We want to include him for the obvious reasons, especially the fact that he IS family and should be a part of family times. 

We’ve been making the hard sell and thought we were well on our way to traveling success.  But yesterday morning…

Aaron stood behind me early as I sat at my quiet time desk. 

“I am NOT going to Andrea’s!!” he angrily spoke.

First words out of his mouth did not bode well.

None of my soft words softened him at all. 

I ended up on our patio, coffee in hand, where Aaron soon found me and exposited further on the reasons that he will NOT make this fun, fun trip.

I escaped in the house for a few minutes.  When I looked out at the patio, Aaron was gone.  I didn’t see him anywhere.  Where could he have gone?!

Soon I saw him, across the yard sitting all dejected on our bench.  Sorry for the grainy picture.

He soon moved to the front porch, sadness all over his posture and face. 

When he rejoined me on the patio, he was crying.  When Aaron cries, he is truly and deeply upset. 

“I don’t want to leave this house!” he exclaimed, as if we were forcing him out forever instead of just taking a trip.

But to Aaron, home and the familiarity it brings is of upmost importance to him.  It’s a huge stretch to ask him to go someplace else and just “be happy.”

Aaron reacts to all the stimulation outside of himself in a far greater way than you and I do.  A long trip, another house, an unfamiliar bed, more people around, a different bathroom…just everything about traveling is huge and very uncomfortable to him. 

And if Aaron is uncomfortable, then everyone within range of his voice will be most uncomfortable, too.

It’s so easy to say he should just go and have a good time.

SO, SO hard for Aaron to do that very thing, starting with the “just go.”

Later in the morning, like a light went on, Aaron calmed down and became happy.  It wasn’t because finally, he came to his senses!

It was because he remembered the Indonesian submarine that sank.  Really.  Not that the sinking and all the death makes him happy, but all the facts of that incident have filled his fact-loving cup to the brim.

He talked about the submarine incessantly on Sunday.  He talked about it until the moment he turned his light off that night and went to sleep.  So yesterday morning, when he paused from his travel grief long enough to think of something else, his mind went back to the submarine that had so consumed him yesterday.

Ahhhhh, a subject that pleased him, odd as that sounds! 

Autistic persons are often brought back to their comfort zones by slipping into whatever groove is safe to them and meets their unusual interests.  As strange as it seems to us, Aaron was able to lay aside his angst about our upcoming trip by finding that groove, which on this day was the sunken submarine…

And then Trandoshians…clones…launch codes…Republic Assault Ship…Wookies…

It’s just the most fascinating and often frustrating thing!

Yet Gary and I must lay aside our desire to lecture as we slip with Aaron into his groove, talk about the very unique subjects that permeate his mind, and be ready for the next onslaught of travel anger.

It’s a delicate dance that we know all too well, accompanied by the music of Aaron’s world.  The band isn’t always in tune, at least not to us, but Gary and I had best just dance along and let Aaron lead.

It’s the Texas Two-Step!  Except for us it’s two steps forward…on a good day…and at least one step back.  Often more.

Last night, as Aaron still processed all things travel related, his face lit up.

“MOM!!  Can Kyle tell me all about the submarine?  Because if he can then I’ll go to Houston!”

So Kyle, who has a degree in maritime studies but has never worked on a submarine, has been given an assignment for which to prep before we come.  And his dad, Kent…who served in the Navy on a sub…will no doubt be invaluable.  Andrea said we should just have Kent waiting in the driveway when we pull in.  😊  😊

It’s good that we can all laugh. 

All of us except Aaron, who takes every bit of this very seriously. 

Time for me to get our day going.  Gary and I are taking Aaron to the zoo, which is close and does not require travel but also does not…to my knowledge…have a submarine.  Too bad!

Looks like it will be a beautiful day for a dance. 

Just Being Here

I was having my quiet time this morning, and it was just that…nice and quiet.

I stepped out of the room for a few minutes and when I came back, this is what I saw.

“Aaron,” I asked, “what are you doing on the bed?”

“I’m just being right here,” he flatly answered.

I had to smile.  He certainly was just being right there.  He didn’t care one bit that he was messing up the bed that I try to keep all tidy and neat and unwrinkled.  He didn’t care one bit that he was interrupting my quiet time. 

Aaron is right here in our lives every day.  He is right here because God has placed him here. 

No matter where we go, with or without Aaron, he is right here in our lives and in our thoughts…in our planning…in our EVERYTHING.

Yesterday he was right here, in the Wal-Mart aisle as I turned the corner, happily oblivious to any thought that he was most unusual as he knelt on the floor to retrieve his favorite candy.

He was right here recently after a night of seizures, waiting for me to pray before he ate his fried eggs, and we watched an episode of The Waltons.

And more often than I enjoy, Aaron is also right here in his autistic frustrations that interrupt our life and often dictate our routines. 

Just like that crumpled bedding that once was smooth, Aaron can most definitely cause lots of wrinkles in what was at one point a smooth and happy day.

How I handle my emotions during those many moments is up to me, which is why I was SO excited to find this picture recently that I instantly knew MUST go above my quiet time desk.

Today I choose joy!

Not because I have some super perfect power to do so.

But because I know the One Who does have the power to give me joy.

Oh, trust me, I lose my temper and I get very frustrated and all the other “stuff” that comes with being human.

But Jesus is right beside me with His forgiveness and with His nudging toward joy.

How about you?  What is right here in your life that is hard?  Make a conscious effort to choose joy and just see what God will do for you.

“And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

(Nehemiah 8:10)