Aaron’s Move: Can I Come Home?

It’s hard to believe that we’re closing in on the 2-month mark of Aaron’s move to his group home.  Aaron has mostly done amazingly well, but as you can tell from the title, we are having some bumps right now.

We have been very pleased with Aaron’s adjustments to his new normal.  Even Gary and I don’t fully realize how huge this move is for Aaron, though.  However, we’re beginning to see that fact demonstrated in Aaron’s behaviors.

Since Aaron moved, I have picked him up every Thursday for our Meals on Wheels deliveries.  We go out to lunch afterwards, then perhaps some shopping and back home to watch a favorite show. 

On Sundays after church, Gary and I pick Aaron up and he comes home for several hours.  On both those times at home, Aaron has always asked to go back to his new home before we’re ready to take him back.  That has been encouraging as well as surprising.

But this past Sunday he was extra grouchy.  In the driveway of his group home, he refused to get out of the car.  I went on inside his house and in a few minutes he came in, complaining that he didn’t want to be there.  He did settle down and was resigned but not angry when I left.

The past several days have been rough.  He has been angry and has displayed that anger in rude behavior at his day group and at his group home.  He was crying on the phone when he called us.  We talked both to Aaron and to his staff.

“I don’t want to live here,” he cried.  “Can I just come home?”

Those words are a knife in our hearts.

Gary and I must stand tough while assuring Aaron of our love.  

He told the staff that he thinks we want them to be his parents now, so we assured him that we are not going anywhere, that we are still his parents and we are still here for him.

We told him that we were often homesick over all these years and have missed our families that are far away, but that we live near him and can see him often. 

His crying finally eased and our calls after that were pleasant. 

We truly understand Aaron’s feelings.  We also know that dealing with the impacts of his homesickness is tricky and difficult, even for Gary and me who know him so well.  Imagine how his staff feels as they are thrust into the deep end of these dilemmas while trying to understand our very complicated Aaron.

The other morning, I looked back at the verses I had written down that God gave me as we began this journey.  This one jumped out at me.

“While I was fainting away, I remembered the Lord and my prayer came to You.”   (Jonah 2:7)

God answered so many definite prayers as we sought His will about Aaron moving to a group home….answers that were specific and that we could not ignore. 

But answered prayers don’t always mean a smooth road ahead.  It’s easy to wonder if we did the right thing when the road is full of potholes.   

That’s why I went back to the promises God had given in the weeks before Aaron’s move.  And why that verse in Jonah is such a comfort to me.  I need to daily remember the Lord…to remember His definite leading then and how He spoke to me through His Word.

And to remember that just as I trusted God before Aaron’s move, I also need to continually trust Him in these weeks after the move. 

My trust in God and His leading isn’t to depend on my circumstances. 

My trust depends on God alone…on knowing Him and resting in Him…not in what is happening around me that is disturbing and hard. 

Focusing on the hard things brings doubt and despair.

Focusing on God alone brings peace despite the pain.

So, like Jonah, I will remember God’s past leading and I will remember to pray in our present troubles, even when I don’t feel like doing either at the moment.

And once again, we thank all of you who are continuing to pray for Aaron and for us.  Your expressions of care mean a great deal to us, and we are remembering to thank God for you!

Unknown's avatar

Author: Patty hesaidwhatks

I'm Patty and I write about our adult son who has Epilepsy and Autism, who still lives with my husband and me, and who is a package full of many surprises and joys and challenges and TALK! Lots of talking, which creates laughter and some other reactions as well. I also write about how God shows Himself to me in everyday life.

22 thoughts on “Aaron’s Move: Can I Come Home?”

  4. Seeing your last child leave home is rarely as easy as it sounds under normal (whatever that is!) circumstances. Give yourselves some grace as you and Gary adjust to your new life, with Aaron close by but under a different roof. You will be in our prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. This stood out to me: “Answered prayers don’t always mean a smooth road ahead.  It’s easy to wonder if we did the right thing when the road is full of potholes.” AMEN to that, my friend! No doubt many of us can relate to circumstances that fit your statements here. I am so sorry that the road has not been smoother for you. Praise God for his promises (especially those that seem tailored to our specific need in the moment!) that bring affirmation and assurance. P.S. ‘Love the photo of the three of you! Aaron looks the picture of happiness, and I love the way he’s leaning in to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. Patty, I’ve been anxious to hear how Aaron was doing. Just remember, lots of kids miss home when they go away to college (or wherever they go). It hasn’t been that long. He just needs more time. I also pray for you every night. God is so good to us and He is faithful. God bless you and Gary and Aaron! 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. You’re right, Cindy. We’ve told Aaron how many people are sad when they leave home and how we miss our families even still. He does process these emotions so differently than we do. I’m very touched and blessed by your prayers. Your ministry in our lives is precious.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Thank you, Patty. I loved teaching children with high functioning autism for 22 years. They are so special and I loved every one of them. I feel like I know Aaron. That’s why I love him so much and pray for him. Your blog would be so helpful to other parents of children of all ages who have autism. Do you ever speak to groups? God bless you as you serve our precious Savior! 🙏

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Love that reminder to recall God’s past leading and to pray in our present troubles even when we don’t feel it. I’ve been working on this as well, not always easy.

    I know I’m a bit behind here but I sure hope there’s been more good days for Aaron than anything else since this post!!🙏❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. You’re right. Practicing yesterday’s trust in today’s new troubles can be hard. I’m thankful for God’s patience with me! Aaron fluctuates up and down. He was actually the same way at home. We have to keep reminding ourselves of that and also of how amazing his adjustment there has really been.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a Reply