It’s hard to believe that we’re closing in on the 2-month mark of Aaron’s move to his group home. Aaron has mostly done amazingly well, but as you can tell from the title, we are having some bumps right now.
We have been very pleased with Aaron’s adjustments to his new normal. Even Gary and I don’t fully realize how huge this move is for Aaron, though. However, we’re beginning to see that fact demonstrated in Aaron’s behaviors.
Since Aaron moved, I have picked him up every Thursday for our Meals on Wheels deliveries. We go out to lunch afterwards, then perhaps some shopping and back home to watch a favorite show.
On Sundays after church, Gary and I pick Aaron up and he comes home for several hours. On both those times at home, Aaron has always asked to go back to his new home before we’re ready to take him back. That has been encouraging as well as surprising.
But this past Sunday he was extra grouchy. In the driveway of his group home, he refused to get out of the car. I went on inside his house and in a few minutes he came in, complaining that he didn’t want to be there. He did settle down and was resigned but not angry when I left.
The past several days have been rough. He has been angry and has displayed that anger in rude behavior at his day group and at his group home. He was crying on the phone when he called us. We talked both to Aaron and to his staff.
“I don’t want to live here,” he cried. “Can I just come home?”
Those words are a knife in our hearts.
Gary and I must stand tough while assuring Aaron of our love.
He told the staff that he thinks we want them to be his parents now, so we assured him that we are not going anywhere, that we are still his parents and we are still here for him.
We told him that we were often homesick over all these years and have missed our families that are far away, but that we live near him and can see him often.
His crying finally eased and our calls after that were pleasant.
We truly understand Aaron’s feelings. We also know that dealing with the impacts of his homesickness is tricky and difficult, even for Gary and me who know him so well. Imagine how his staff feels as they are thrust into the deep end of these dilemmas while trying to understand our very complicated Aaron.
The other morning, I looked back at the verses I had written down that God gave me as we began this journey. This one jumped out at me.
“While I was fainting away, I remembered the Lord and my prayer came to You.” (Jonah 2:7)
God answered so many definite prayers as we sought His will about Aaron moving to a group home….answers that were specific and that we could not ignore.
But answered prayers don’t always mean a smooth road ahead. It’s easy to wonder if we did the right thing when the road is full of potholes.
That’s why I went back to the promises God had given in the weeks before Aaron’s move. And why that verse in Jonah is such a comfort to me. I need to daily remember the Lord…to remember His definite leading then and how He spoke to me through His Word.
And to remember that just as I trusted God before Aaron’s move, I also need to continually trust Him in these weeks after the move.
My trust in God and His leading isn’t to depend on my circumstances.
My trust depends on God alone…on knowing Him and resting in Him…not in what is happening around me that is disturbing and hard.
Focusing on the hard things brings doubt and despair.
Focusing on God alone brings peace despite the pain.
So, like Jonah, I will remember God’s past leading and I will remember to pray in our present troubles, even when I don’t feel like doing either at the moment.
And once again, we thank all of you who are continuing to pray for Aaron and for us. Your expressions of care mean a great deal to us, and we are remembering to thank God for you!
