Aaron’s Move: Do I Have To Go?

Today was moving day for Aaron as he transitions to living in a special needs group home.  Gary and I have worked all week on his new room.  On Saturday we took him to see his room and to show him everything.  He was excited and had an ear-to-ear smile as he walked in his nearly finished room.  It helped that Victoria was there, too, and squealed with joy at every drawer that we opened and especially at the fun snacks we put into Aaron’s snack baskets.

But as the weekend wound down, we could also tell that Aaron was getting more apprehensive.  He saw his life changing as his bedroom at home became emptier and a strange room in another house now held his special things. 

This morning on the monitor I heard Aaron awake.  It was way before 5:00.  He was rustling things, walking up and down the stairs, took a shower, and even took his pills way too early.  It was all way too early.

He opened our bedroom door several times to see if I was awake.  Finally, as I faked sleep, he spoke to me and asked if he could have his coffee.  There was nothing to do but get his coffee and face whatever would come on this very sad morning.

I put his coffee on his nightstand. 

“Mom?” he said as I stood by his bed.  “Do I have to go?”

He was looking straight into my eyes, focused and unwavering.

God held back my tears as I answered him.

“Yes, Aaron, you have to go,” I told him with as much love as I could.

But my tears flowed as I walked back to the bedroom and sat down at my desk. 

This feels like betrayal of our special Aaron, but we know that we are only doing what is best for him. 

Sometimes what is best is not at all what is easiest.

God has so definitely opened this door for us, and we knew we should walk through it. 

Later, Aaron began bringing me items from his room that he wondered if he could take.  His TY stuffed animals.  His slippers.  His pajamas he had just worn.  His special pillows.

I had dreaded our last drive to Paradigm, his day group.  Dreaded seeing him leave.  But he wanted to go with me to Carly’s office, where he was met with big smiles and high fives and where Carly took this picture of me and Aaron.

I drove home, comforted and tear free, and so aware of God’s grace and of all the many family and friends who were praying for us today.

We got several pictures of Aaron and Victoria today, huge smiles on their faces.

Gary and I finished his room today.  We will still hang some things on his walls and are waiting on his new bed to come.

 Aaron rode to his group home with his housemates.  He called us tonight and we were like parents excited to hear from their child at camp or at college. 

But then he asked us why we made him leave.  We explained it yet again while feeling like we had abandoned him.  We know better and we hope Aaron does but oh, it hurts right now. 

The tears come and go for me and Gary.  Lots of tears.

But being in God’s will doesn’t mean we won’t have tears.

It does mean that God will hold our hands and comfort our broken hearts.

Just a bit ago I honestly thought I heard Aaron say, “Mom!” 

But his room here is empty.

He has a new room and a new life.

Yet we will always be his caregivers even though from a distance now.  Others will take over roles we have always held, and we pray they care for him well.

We know God will. 

And for that we are very thankful.

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Author: Patty hesaidwhatks

I'm Patty and I write about our adult son who has Epilepsy and Autism, who still lives with my husband and me, and who is a package full of many surprises and joys and challenges and TALK! Lots of talking, which creates laughter and some other reactions as well. I also write about how God shows Himself to me in everyday life.

23 thoughts on “Aaron’s Move: Do I Have To Go?”

  1. Oh, Patty, transitions are always hard, as you say goodbye to the past and embrace the now. There has been so much grace from God on this move for Aaron. The photo of Victoria and Aaron is sweet. You and Gary are still near and able to give much support to Aaron. Hugs to Aaron, you and Gary. May God give all of you much comfort during this time.
    Hazel

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  5. Oh my, such a big step into the unknown, yet knowing God is leading the way. You, Gary, and Aaron are in our prayers. P.S. I finally did send a card off to your address for Aaron. Might be there tomorrow! God bless

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  6. Tears here too, Patty–for the emotional turmoil you all are enduring right now, for joy in what God has engineered, and for the confidence we hold in our faithful God for the future. God bless you, dear friend, as you transition to this new chapter in your lives!

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  9. Patty, we are praying for you guys. It will be hard for Aaron on days he doesn’t get his way, but he will adjust because God has led him here for a purpose. God is so good!

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  10. Patty, thank you for your candidness. My family and I talk about your family as if we’ve always known you, and I can’t wait to discuss this tonight around the kitchen table. I share your hope, your love, and your beautiful ability to trust God in all seasons.

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    1. Your words humble me. Thank you so much. I love sharing God’s love and kindness to us. This move of Aaron’s has been hard but we’ve seen God in every step. He gets all the credit. Bless you!

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  11. Reading through your post (and then the comments) you have quite an amazing support group. I know that doesn’t take away the difficulty in change but it helps a bit. Soon the change will become a little more familiar and a little less sad. I wish I could give you a physical hug but as of now that won’t happen. I can continue to pray though, and we both know that’s better than anything else one can offer. Love and blessings to you sweet mama.

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    1. Thank you, Alicia. The support we’ve received here on the blog, on Facebook, and from other family and friends has been so sustaining to us. Aaron has gotten so many cards and words of encouragement. We’re very thankful. Your prayers are very precious to me! I would love that hug, too! Someday! 🥰

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