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Rocking Together

Yesterday was one of those days.  It was a culmination of several of “those” days that actually became one of THOSE days.  Am I making sense?  Let me once again offer some quotes from Karen Williams in her excellent article – Understanding the Student with Asperger’s Syndrome.  For Gary and I, the title should read – Understanding Our Son with Asperger’s Syndrome (If That Is Even Remotely Possible).  Williams says, under the category of Emotional Vulnerability:  “Rage reactions/temper outbursts are common in response to stress/frustration.”   She goes on to say that those with Asperger’s “………..are easily overwhelmed when things are not as their rigid views dictate they should be.”

I would add that, likewise, parents of Asperger’s children (or adults who behave like children) are at times overwhelmed when things are not as their child (or adult who behaves like a child) wants them to be.  Williams adds, “Affect as reflected in the teacher’s voice should be kept to a minimum.  Be calm, predictable, and matter-of-fact in interactions with the child with AS, while clearly indicating compassion and patience.”

As a parent with an adult (who sometimes behaves like a child) with Asperger’s, I do whole-heartily agree with Williams.  I would also add that perhaps the parent should have a pillow to scream into; a punching bag hanging in the garage to punch on; a blog to write in……………OK, just kidding.  Sort of.

Aaron’s been hung up on a computer game and it’s been all consuming to him.  Saturday was one of those days when he just would not get off the computer to shower, take his pills, or even eat.  Aaron has to reach a certain level of a game before he will turn it off.  This is why we removed Nintendo and PlayStation from our home years ago.  He does much better on the computer, for some reason, but occasionally will revert to these old behaviors.  When this happens, we take the keyboard away and hide it.  Aaron has come to expect this and is usually agreeable about it………..as if it’s almost a relief to have the temptation removed.

Yesterday he was not relieved.  We removed his keyboard Saturday night, so on Sunday he clipped coupons and then napped while our small group was here for lunch.  After his nap, when the small group was gone and a friend who had stopped by had left, Aaron fully expected that his keyboard would be returned.  We had not made it clear that we were not returning the keyboard at that time.  Mistake number one:  Not being clear and consistent, and expecting Aaron to follow along.  Consistency has always been an issue, especially with me.  And inconsistency and change does not work well with Aaron.

Aaron was talking to Gary and me about all of this, and followed Gary downstairs to his study, where they continued to have a pleasant conversation.  Gary was very upbeat and happy.  Aaron was holding a container of his favorite Pringles……………and was becoming agitated.  Soon I heard a strange noise and when I walked downstairs I discovered Gary staring quietly at the mess.  Aaron had thrown his container of Pringles across the room and there was a huge pile of chips and crumbs all over the floor as well as some of Gary’s bookshelves.

Well, well, well…………now what?  Aaron grabbed the container, twisting and squeezing it in sheer frustration as he continued to escalate.  Gary and I followed him upstairs, talking calmly to him………….no affect in our voices at all.  If we yelled, we knew that Aaron would go through the roof.  His eyes were darting around, probably trying to find something else to break.  We stood there, using soothing tones that calmed Aaron a little but were not totally defusing the situation, when suddenly Gary asked, “Aaron, do you want to go to Dairy Queen and get a blizzard?”

It was amazing to see Aaron’s face.  His struggle was so evident as he tried to process this offer.  He was slowly deflating, but he wanted to still be angry.  He paced around the family room and then angrily said, “OK!!  I’ll go!”  He put on his shoes and socks, and then Gary asked him if he wanted to take the van or the truck.  Aaron calmed down even more as he said that he wanted to take the truck, so off Gary and Aaron went……….with Aaron sitting up in the truck with his dad.  I knew what an effort it took for Gary to do this.  He was tired after a hard weekend of working outside, studying for Sunday School, and teaching that morning.  I knew that Gary wanted nothing more than to rest, to relax, to have time for some things that he wanted to do.

His love for his son was evident…………..both of us were loving Aaron at that moment but not really liking him.  While they were gone, I vacuumed up the mess downstairs, wishing that the messes that Aaron makes in our hearts were as easy to dispose of and forget.  When they returned home, Aaron was a different person.  He was full of talk about his M&M Blizzard, their run through the car wash, what road they were on, and the barber shop that was nearby………….”You know, Mom, they have that red and white sign that looks like a spinning candy cane!!”

Later, Aaron and I sat on the glider on the front porch as a thunderstorm moved through.  I love doing that and was happy that Aaron joined me when I invited him to come out.  There the two of us sat on the glider, trying to rock as the wind blew and the thunder rumbled and the rain came down.  We talked………..mostly Aaron talked, of course……………and I kept trying to rock.  You see, Aaron likes to sit forward on the glider and when he does this, he rocks in his own rhythm……….which is the opposite of the way I am rocking.  When I went forward, Aaron went back.  Then when I was going backward, Aaron was pushing forward.  This is not conducive to smooth rocking!  I told him to sit back and relax so that we could rock, and for a minute or two he would.  Then he would sit forward again………..and again we would not be able to smoothly rock as he was moving against my every move.  I just observed, and smiled, and laughed softly at the awkwardness of this supposed rocking.

And I realized how Gary and I have to rock together in our life with Aaron.  We don’t always accomplish this feat, believe me!  Any married couple will agree that it takes time to develop unity in every area of marriage.  Aaron and his issues have certainly been difficult for us at times.  We haven’t always agreed on how to handle discipline, especially, as well as other areas.  Time and maturity and experience have taught us so much.  So many times, I have rocked one way while Gary is rocking in another direction.  This makes for jerky, unhappy motions in our marriage and in Aaron’s life as well.  He needs us to be unified………..and Gary and I need to be a solid unit as we deal with Aaron’s life and decisions that involve him.

Gary blessed me yesterday in how he handled Aaron with love and wisdom.  We were rocking together and the result was smoothness and pleasure in the end as we saw Aaron relax and calm down.  We never know what we’ll face today or tomorrow with Aaron, but we do know that if we rock together with God in the center, then life will be much happier and certainly more peaceful.

From Head to Toe

Aaron rushed into my bathroom this morning as I was fixing my hair.  He just had to tell me that he had gotten a new bottle of body wash out of his bathroom cabinet.  “Mom!  I got some new shampoo and look at what color it is!”   It was a lime green and Aaron, who notices everything about everything (except for people’s reactions to HIM!) thought that this color was quite funny.

He laughed as he asked, “So why do I want green shampoo on my head?  Won’t I look like grass?!”

We both laughed as I assured him that he would not look like grass, and off he thumped to take his shower.  Aaron is very aware of his hair and his skin and his teeth and his nails and his toes and whatever else.  Every bump and scrape and sensation is often an object of discussion………..whether we want to hear it or not.  Believe me, we often do NOT!!

Aaron knows that he is getting a bald spot on top of his head.  The other night he asked, “Am I bald?”  I told him that he is not totally bald and he added, “So am I bald on part of my head?”  Yep, Aaron – you are becoming bald on part of your head.  He’s not too sure that this is acceptable.

He likes the fact that he has a mustache, though, and a goatee.  Just this morning he said, “I like this!”  I looked over to see him pointing to his mustache – and then began the discussion he always has about not wanting to cut it, with me explaining why he needs to keep it trimmed.  We actually let him grow a mustache and goatee because he does NOT like shaving, so at least this helps a little in that area.

He’s very curious about why he sometimes wakes up with a stiff elbow.  I’ve told him that at times we sleep in the same position and so something like our elbow will get stiff and tired from not moving for a long time.  One morning he got up and told me that his elbow wasn’t just sore, but that it was really sore.  “Mom, my elbow hurt in my sleep.  It was a lot worse than those other tired positions.”

I’ve also told him not to wake me up at night for just any little ache and pain, as he used to do.  Major stuff, yes……..but not a sore elbow, for instance.  A couple weeks ago, when he had a bloody finger from a hangnail repair gone wrong, he talked and talked about it.  “Mom, I had some pulled skin.  Maybe I broke the feeling part of my skin.”

If any of you think you can explain the concept of not breaking the feeling part of your skin, then I would love to hear from you.  Anyway, I assured Aaron that he was fine.  He then asked me, “Would you mind if I called you during the night for loose skin?”

I affirmed that yes, I would mind if he called me during the night for loose skin……….unless it was a huge area of loose skin, like his whole torso.  Then I had to explain torso.

He likes to sit in our leather chair while he watches TV, and often will have one or both legs folded underneath him.  Yesterday he was trying to unwind himself from this position as he got up from the chair, and soon he said, “Mom, the side of my legs make a weird sound!  The skin is stuck to the leather!”

I tell him not to fold his legs underneath that way, knowing that he will continue to sit that way and that he will continue to be amazed at how his skin sticks to the leather.  And I imagine there is something else that he continues to do, but I refuse to ask.  A long time ago he informed us that he saw some hairs growing on his chest…………and so he pulled them out.  Yes, he pulled them out!

The last time that I ventured to ask him about that, he confirmed that he was still pulling out the random hairs that he found growing on his chest.  To Aaron, hair should not be growing on his chest.  Maybe it’s all the times in our 6 years of living in Europe that we saw very hairy men with no shirts on…………..and our kids would yell, “Ooohhhh!!  Grossy Men!!!!”

Or maybe he just wants his chest to match the part of his head that is bald.  I don’t ask anymore.

Give Me More! – End of Day Update

If you did not read my previous post – Give Me More! – then you should read it now so that this post will have more meaning.

Now:  Aaron recently returned home and I heard the rustling of a bag.  A Wal-Mart bag, I presumed.  I was right.  He came downstairs to talk to Gary and I, and out of the bag he pulled………….croissants.  His love affair with this bread continues.  In the container were two croissants left uneaten – at that point.  

“Mom, I got a large Cheddar Pasta Salad but I couldn’t get two croissants because it cost $11.01.”

Since Aaron took $8.39 to Wal-Mart, then he was confined to that amount and $11.01 was more than he had to spend.  I asked, “So Aaron, how did you know that it cost $11.01to get two croissants and your LARGE Cheddar Pasta Salad?  You must have taken two boxes of croissants up to the register and tried to buy them.”

“No!” he said.  “I only bought one!”

But you must have taken TWO up to the register, right?

“Well, yes, I took two but I didn’t have $11.01.  So I just could buy one box!”

Ah-ha!  So much for Aaron using restraint in his food purchasing.  I should have known.  The only thing restraining him from buying 12 croissants instead of the 6 he bought was his $8.39.  I guarantee that before his next Wal-Mart trip he will be asking for $11.01.

When he left the house this morning, his bed was a mess and he asked me to help him make it.  I didn’t have time to do that, so after we talked about his Wal-Mart trip, he asked, “Mom, did you help me make my bed while I was gone?”

This isn’t the first time he has asked this question and my answer is the same:  “Aaron, how can I help YOU make the bed when YOU are gone?  Isn’t that just ME making the bed?”

“Yeah, but did you help me make it?”

No, Aaron………I did not help you make your bed while you were gone.  I smile.  He’s oblivious.

He went to the other room to talk to Gary and returned soon, licking his lips.  Of course, the remaining two croissants were history and the container was empty.

“Mom!  After Wal-Mart, do you know what we then did?”

No, Aaron – what did you then do?

“We went to Sonic!”

I am feeling stuffed just thinking about Aaron’s Sonic trip on top of a large Cheddar Pasta Salad and 6 croissants (although he said he shared).

But he assured me that he just got water at Sonic.  Yay!  A wise choice!

We went upstairs so that I could actually help HIM make his bed since I didn’t help him make it while he was gone.  Now he has gone to Lowe’s with Gary and no telling what stories he will return telling…………..or Gary will tell me behind Aaron’s back.

At least we know there are no croissants at Lowe’s!

Give Me More!

Aaron appreciates the value of money just like the rest of us.  Of course, to him the value of money translates into Number 52 Quik-Trip Slushies; multiple boxes of Mike and Ikes or Hot Tamales; and the largest order of popcorn at the theater.  This morning he was talking to me about the fact that he’s going to Wal-Mart today with his day group.

“Mom, can I have some extra money?”

Sure, Aaron.  You can have some extra money for Wal-Mart today.

Then I reminded him that I didn’t want him to buy tons of candy or ice cream or Croissants.  I reinforced the fact that he could buy a Subway sandwich or a Cheddar Pasta Salad.  And I added, “Aaron, you don’t have to buy a 12 inch sub…….a 6 inch is fine.  And you don’t have to buy a large Cheddar Pasta Salad………..a medium would be good.”

Realizing where my line of reasoning might be headed, he asked, “So how much money are you going to give me?”

I replied that I didn’t know yet.  So he asked, “Will you give me more than you are?”

He makes me laugh.  My suggestion of a 6 inch sub or a medium Cheddar Pasta Salad just might mean that I was planning on giving him less money………..and he did not miss that possibility.

Quick, that boy is………..where it matters…………to him and to his stomach.  

Lessons From the Warning Birds

I finally had a free morning………..one in which I did not need to take Aaron to his day group, nor did I have errands to run or any commitments to meet.  I had a long outside to-do list and was eager to get started before the heat made being outside unbearable.  One of the first jobs I decided to tackle was an easy one.  The forsythia bush beside the garden was overgrown again, despite being pruned just a few weeks ago.  I grabbed the small pruning shears and my garden gloves, and then rolled the trash can out to the bush in need of a trim.

I had only made two or three little snips with my shears before I was very surprised by a dive-bombing bird.  This bird nearly clipped the top of my head!  He – or she – then immediately turned around and flew over me again as I instinctively ducked down out of the way.  The unhappy bird landed on one of the wooden beams that surrounds our garden and proceeded to squawk very loudly at me.  A second bird flew into our nearby pear tree and also berated me sharply for obviously infringing on their territory.  I knew that there was a reason for their irate behavior.  I figured it must involve a nest and possibly some baby birds that were already born, or eggs waiting to hatch. 


I really wanted to finish trimming this bush since I had the time and since I had started on it.  I carefully reached up to trim some of the upper growth when I heard a very unusual sound, one that startled me and made me move back away from the bush.  It sounded almost like a growl, but with bird undertones, and was coming from inside the bush.  Peering very carefully between the branches, I saw the little nest……..compact and nearly hidden among the tangled growth inside the bush.  In the nest, sure enough, were at least two little baby birds with eyes open and hearts probably pounding in fear.  I don’t know if Mama Bird had made the unique sound I heard or maybe one of the babies, but something was warning me to go away.  And I did.  I decided that I could finish trimming the bush at a time that was safer for these baby birds – and for me!  The uneven growth would just have to stay awhile longer.


As I moved to the vegetable garden to continue my chores, the adult birds lingered nearby to watch me and to be assured that I no longer disturbed their precious babies.  This whole episode reminded me of the warnings in our lives that occur at various times and stages.  As God’s children, we are indwelt by the Holy Spirit upon our salvation.  One of the ministries of the Spirit in our lives is to warn us and to redirect our steps, just as the Spirit redirected the steps of Paul in Acts 16 when he forbade him to go to Bithynia.  Sometimes we are headed in a direction that may be good and seem right, but God has other plans for us.  That voice in our heart that makes us uneasy or that definite closed door is often the Spirit warning us and changing our path to the better one that God has for us.  We may not understand the change and often we don’t like it, but knowing that God sees our entire future and leads us in love is such a comfort.  Paul could look back and see that’s God’s warning and His will was best, and maybe someday we will be able to do the same with our lives.
 
God’s Word also has warnings for us to listen to and to obey.  David talked about the perfection of God’s Word in Psalm 19.  He described God’s laws and commandments to us as being sure, right, pure, true, and sweet – to name a few.  Then in verse 11, David said, “Moreover, by them your servant is warned……..”  Warned?  Most definitely!  God’s Word lifts us up into truth and is sweet and so pure and very encouraging………….but His Word is also full of warnings for mankind.  As God’s children, we need to heed the warnings we read in His Word – all sorts of warnings that call out to us just as much as those angry birds called out to me in my yard.  There is absolute truth, and absolute right and wrong found in the pages of our Bibles.  We need to read it with obedient hearts and listen to God’s warnings contained therein. 

One more avenue of warning can be found in the godly friends or family members that we have in our lives.  In his challenge to the Corinthian believers in I Corinthians 4, Paul finally says to them in verse 14: “I do not write these things to shame you, but to admonish (or warn) you as my beloved children.”  Sometimes there are faithful people in our lives who see us making bad decisions, or headed into a dangerous relationship, or harboring bitterness, or any number of other situations.  I’ve been personally blessed with wise counsel from family and friends at various times in my life.  Some of that counsel may take the form of warnings………..warnings that we need to heed when given by one that we know to be following the Lord and whom we can trust to advise us with sound wisdom.  Warnings from those who have lived life longer than we have and who have seen the result of sinful ways.  Warnings from those who love us and love God and want us to have His best. 

May each of us be open during those times when the Spirit, or God’s Word, or loving people in our lives are trying to get our attention……….are attempting to redirect our thoughts or our activities or our desires away from ones that can be damaging to us.  Even when it means leaving the path that we were on…………..leaving a job undone………..ending a relationship……………throwing off a worry or a heavy load of hurt……………whatever the situation, may the trusted warnings that we receive be well received.  God has a reason for the warnings tucked away in His plan for us…………reasons even more precious than little baby birds. 

The Face Around Me

Aaron’s been grouchy lately, which makes me extra irritated with him.  I actually have been pretty tired of Aaron the last few days.  I hope that doesn’t disappoint anybody but it’s true.  His attitude leaves a lot to be desired right now………..and this affects my attitude, leaving me with much to be desired in the attitude department as well.

I had been out in the garden today and lost track of time.  Realizing that I needed to check on Aaron and ask him about lunch, I went up to his room to offer him some lunch.  He finally came downstairs, still carrying that attitude, so I was pretty brusque and unhappy myself.  This made him calm down and be contrite.  After all, food is in the balance here.

Speaking of food, he asked if Andrea was “coming over” today………as if she’s on the next street and might come over, instead of being an hour away and driving down for the day.  When I told him that she would be here, he asked, “So what food are we having?”  Everything seems to boil down to food with Aaron.  I told him that we were having chicken, and he asked the question he forever and always asks when we’re having chicken:  “Is it boneless?”

No, this chicken is not boneless, Aaron.  He thought for a few seconds, and then said, “The problem is…….the bone.”  So I responded, “Aaron, this is Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Does that make it better?”

His attitude improved greatly at the magic words……….Kentucky Fried Chicken.  That smacks of eating out………..of restaurant food……….of anything other than what Mom makes.  Aaron’s not been picky as he’s grown up, but now that he’s gotten more of a taste of eating out, he does indeed love it!

He decided that he could handle the bones in KFC chicken and so that matter was settled.  I went outside to do something and when I came back in the kitchen, Aaron was polishing off an ice cream bar.  I walked by the side of the kitchen table, and lo and behold…………there were two more ice cream bars on the chair.  He thought they were safely out of sight, but Mom’s eyes are sharp for these things and his plan for three ice cream bars was foiled.  I did compromise and let him have one more, but not two more.  He knew a good turn of events when he saw it and so didn’t press his good fortune.

As he got up from his chair, he walked over to me in the kitchen and stood there.  I turned to look at him and he asked, “Mom, does the face around me have chocolate?”

There he goes, warming my heart with his clever use of language.  I paused when he asked me this question to be sure I heard him correctly, and so he repeated it……….”Does the face around me have chocolate?”  And he gave a little laugh……….I’m not sure why………..and I smiled and told him that his face was clean.  He thumped on upstairs to take a nap, leaving me with that awareness again that no matter how irritated I am with him, he will somehow manage to make me smile and to keep me sharp with his amazing way of talking.

I well remember when the kids were little and days were exhausting and stressful.  There were times that I would smile at something and realize that I had not used those muscles all day.  What were my children having to see when they looked at me all day?  Smiling has a way of breaking the ice off my heart………..an outright laugh is even better.  And it certainly may improve the disposition of those around me.  I know that on many days and on many occasions, I need to be aware of the face around me – my OWN!!

Lessons From the Burnt Batter

We hadn’t seen Kristi in four years and were looking forward to having her come for dinner and fellowship.  Catching up on life and hearing about her missionary work in France was going to be the order of the evening.  I had my menu planned and knew the order in which I needed to prepare the food so that it would all be done right on time.  The first item to prepare was the homemade Pound Cake that I would later serve with ice cream and chocolate syrup.  I love to have my house smelling like good home cooking when someone comes to visit, and I knew that this Pound Cake would start off that homey smell just right.

 After the cake was in the oven for awhile I noticed that I wasn’t smelling that wonderful aroma that I had looked forward to experiencing – and neither would Kristi when she walked in the door!  All I was smelling was the acrid, offending odor of burnt cake.  How could that be?  So I turned on the oven light, peeked in through the glass door, and quickly found the cause.  There on the floor of the oven was an ugly mound of burnt cake batter.  Somehow some of the cake had oozed out of the tube pan onto the bottom of the oven and proceeded to bake into a black, ugly glob.  I couldn’t open the oven door to remove the offense because then the cake would fall, so I had to let it continue baking and filling the house with its burnt odor.  I wasn’t smelling my wonderful Pound Cake.  Instead, all I whiffed was the burnt glob on the bottom of the oven. 

Later, I put the Ravioli Lasagne in the oven and in my hurry to get it started I decided not to remove the burnt batter.  I thought that it had surely burnt so much that it wouldn’t smell anymore and so I would take care of it later.  But sure enough, as the lasagne began to bake I could only smell the dark smell of something burning.  It wasn’t until I opened the oven door and gingerly scooped out as much of the glob as I could that the smell began to go away and to be replaced by the delicious scent of lasagne and cake. 

I wonder what aroma I emit when I am around others?  I’m not talking about the scent of my lotion or whether I brushed my teeth.  Paul said it so well in II Corinthians 2:14 – “But thanks be to God, Who always leads us to triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place.”  Am I manifesting the sweet aroma of Christ to everyone that I am around?  Sometimes I know that I have let the hardness of life burn me to a crisp.  When I allow life’s situations to burn me instead of bake me to perfection under His guiding hand, then I emit a very unpleasant odor.  How I respond to the disappointments I face will determine whether I’m allowing Christ to make me into what He wants or allowing my own sinful nature to ooze out of my mouth and my attitudes. 

Satan loves to bombard us with discouragement and to heap guilt and blame upon our heads.  God wants us to live in truimph, as Paul said, and to rest in the knowledge of Him.  My knowledge of God leads me to know that even in the very, very difficult periods of life, He is mixing the ingredients of my life into just what He wants me to become.  Oh may I not allow that beautiful mix that He is creating to become a burnt glob of bitterness and doubt!  May I manifest through Christ the sweet aroma of the knowledge of God in every place that I go! 

Crowns and Croissants

When Aaron had his teeth cleaned a couple weeks ago, the dentist found a large crack in one of his back molars.  This explained the pain that Aaron had been having since biting down hard on some steak a few weeks prior to this discovery.  Dr. Baxter, our dentist, said that Aaron would need a crown.  Aaron has talked and talked about his broken tooth, his cracked tooth, his sore tooth – and also talked of his crown, wondering if it will be silver or gold, and just how the whole process will transpire. 

He’s also been curious about the dental hygienist there at his dentist’s office.  He must have been very observant…………..or as he would say, “I’m just very curious.”  She is oriental, so you can guess where I’m going with this if you’ve read my blog for any length of time.  The other night he was once again talking about his upcoming crown.  “Mom, you know that lady that works on my teeth?  She’s Korean, or Chinese, or Japanese!” 

At least he didn’t try to place her in Africa as he is so often prone to do.  He continued about his hygienist:  “Would you call that lady who cleaned my teeth a servant?  Is she a servant of Baxter?”

I assured Aaron that she was not a servant, but was a dental hygienist who worked for Dr. Baxter.  I was hoping that he would not ask her today about her servant status.  She was polite and smiling after Aaron’s prep work was over, so hopefully he wasn’t offensive in any way.  One good thing about dental visits is that Aaron has very little talking time there.

When the dentist was finished with Aaron’s work today, I heard him telling Aaron what an awesome job he did.  Thankfully, Aaron really does do very well with medical procedures.  Nothing has ever greatly bothered him………….not even needles.  Not even dental needles…….SHIVER!!  As Aaron rounded the corner to the waiting room, I immediately heard, “Mom!”  The staff there is so kind and understanding, and the receptionist just smiled.  Aaron continued, “Can we go to Pizza Hut for lunch?”

Now I had already told Aaron that lunch was questionable due to his numbness that was sure to come.  He was still hoping for a miracle.  I had to tell Aaron to hush as I made his next appointment and his Pizza Hut question kept being repeated.  The hygienist gave him a coupon for a free ice-cream cone, so the pizza question then became an ice-cream cone question.

We made our usual post-dental Wal-Mart visit.  I had my list ready and Aaron had his usual stops all planned:  Bathroom………Snack Aisle………..Video Aisle.  I looked up from housewares to see him lumbering toward me, balancing three canisters of his now favorite Multi-Grain  Sour Cream and Onion Pringles in his arms.  We put them in the cart and he was off again, only to return soon after with a DVD in his hand.  It’s a DVD that I’ve said no to in the past but Aaron is ever hopeful.  The answer was still no.  He heard the stern tone of my voice and knew that his Multi-Grain Sour Cream and Onion Pringles were in jeopardy if he responded incorrectly, so he was mellow about not buying the DVD.  He did try for a new keyboard…………..with another no from me…………..and a new desk chair…………..and another no………..and a travel neck pillow that he always wants………….with yet another no. 

But Aaron wasn’t finished.  He asked about the spaghetti I told him we were having for supper, wanting to know about bread.  Before I could answer, he asked if we could have some………….can you guess?  Croissants!!  I surprised him by saying yes, and then told him to go get his treasured Croissants while I picked up one more thing.  Soon I headed toward the deli breads, only to see Aaron once again lumbering toward me with – of course – THREE containers of Croissants.  He had planned his argument well, telling me that he could have some for breakfast, too!  He was so hopeful and was balancing the containers so carefully, that I caved and said yes.  Happy, happy Aaron!

He sat on the bench outside his favorite nail salon while I paid, with strict instructions from me to NOT stand in the door staring at the women getting their nails done.  I forgot to mention not clapping, and soon I heard that familiar, ear-splitting CLAP!!!  He was looking right at me, knowing that my head would shake no and my mouth would form a silent no.  He smiled his lopsided, numb-faced smile.  Good old Aaron! 

We both know exactly what to expect from each other, though sometimes there are surprises.  Aaron’s surprises today came in threes with his three Pringles and his three Croissants.  For me, it was the surprise of seeing Aaron with his three containers of Croissants.  I thought he would have figured out how to stack them and carry four or five, at least!  

Making Music

Aaron came down for supper last night with a song on his mind, for whatever reason.  “Mom, you know that song that goes ‘Call on Jesus, call on Jesus….’?  Remember that song?  What song is that?”  He repeated his question several times as I tried to grasp in my memory exactly what song he was talking about.  Then it hit me.  “Aaron, you’re talking about Chris Tomlin’s Untitled Hymn.” 

As we ate, Gary took his tablet and looked up Untitled Hymn.  Soon the beautiful melody and the precious lyrics were filling the kitchen as we ate.  Aaron listened closely, affirming that this was indeed the song that he was thinking about.  Soon the song was nearly done, as Chris sang the touching verse about death:  “And with your final heartbeat, kiss this world good-bye.  Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory’s side – and fly to Jesus, fly to Jesus, fly to Jesus and live.”  Aaron got such a puzzled look on his face.  “Fly to Jesus?  Does that mean we’ll be angels?!” 

We talked about that awhile, and he wanted to know about why each verse has different words…………come to Jesus, sing to Jesus, fall on Jesus, etc.  We discussed the fact that this song shows the various stages of our Christian walk and then death at the end.  It was a sweet almost-ending to our day.

Until Aaron had to mention another music reference that also had stuck in his head.  “I was watching Yosemite Sam on TV and he told this girl to come to the cash bar, and then they would make some music together!”  Gary and I were silent as Aaron asked what Yosemite Sam meant, but Gary’s cheek had a twitch and his mouth was working hard not to grin.  I was a good girl and didn’t laugh TOO loud.  As Aaron carried his plate into the kitchen, Gary smiled at me and whispered a warning – “Don’t you talk to him about it!”

Oh, come on Gary!  Let’s show Aaron what it means to make some music together!!

Count Your………Our………..MY Blessings!

It’s been one of those mornings.  You know……..one of THOSE mornings.  I went to bed bothered by worrisome issues that I should not go to bed being bothered by……….those worrisome issues.  Can’t end that sentence in a preposition.  🙂    I went to my new location in Andrea’s old room that I’ve set up for myself……..a new desk and an alone place to have my quiet time.  The new location didn’t seem to help.  I felt stifled and ineffective in my time with the Lord this morning.  Distracted…….and thinking that I needed to dodge my prayers that were bouncing off the ceiling, going no where.  Is Satan unhappy about my desire for a more intimate time with the Lord?  Perhaps.

Later, I looked at the weather forecast and the upcoming week of temps above 100 and no rain only increased my weariness.  Our scratchy dog with allergies; laundry waiting to be washed or put away; dishes to take care of; even a Supreme Court ruling and an election in Egypt that I don’t agree with were piling up in my mind.  Talk about taking on the cares of the world.  Come on, Patty.  This is really ridiculous!

After my shower, I heard good old Aaron in the hall.  “Mom?”  I told him that I would be out in a minute.  I could tell that I would have very little patience with him today………shame on me.  He thumped downstairs to take his pills and thumped back up to see if we could now talk.  I again told him to wait……….and when I did open my door, he was in his room and promptly told me to come look at his finger.  He held it up for me as I walked in, and there it was………….his index finger, all wrapped up in a bloody band-aid.

My patience was even less now.  “Mom, last night I had some loose skin and so I used my knife to cut it off.” Oh Aaron.  We’ve heard this story before and I knew what was coming………..and it did.   He wanted to know if he should have used his little pocket knife to cut off the skin; why not?; what would I use?; that he couldn’t help it that the knife slipped, etc., and etc.  I removed the band-aid and saw the raw wound where he had cut or pulled off his loose skin.  I could feel my irritation increasing.  I told him to go shower…………his whole body, by the way, not just his finger!  I know how he thinks.

Aaron showered and then came to my bathroom, where I further cleaned and medicated and dressed his wound.  He could sense my mood and so he scurried on downstairs, deciding to get his own coffee and carry it to his room himself without bothering his moody mom.  Soon I heard, “Mom, I spilled some coffee but I’ll clean it up.”  Oh goodness, Aaron!  Where did you spill coffee?  “On the stairs.  I’ll clean it up!”  No, Aaron…….I’ll get it.  All the while, I was muttering under my breath about how this is the last thing I needed and why did he have to carry the coffee up himself when he’s so shaky and of all mornings…………

Then I saw the spill, which looked more like a gushing of coffee.  It was splattered on several stairs, but one stair in particular was soaked with coffee.  Oh Aaron!  Look at this mess!  Next I saw coffee on the living room floor, so got the Swiffer and mopped that section.  I headed for the soppy stairs, with Aaron saying, “I’ll clean it up, Mom!”  But I grabbed towels and began the clean-up, while Aaron then said, “Here, I’ll help.”  He proceeded to carry a wad of paper towels from the kitchen into the living room and instead of heading for the stairs where I was, he started wiping off the piano.  WHAT??!!  Sure enough, some coffee had splattered onto the piano and Aaron was working to clean up the brown spots…………….while he stood on the still-wet floor.  I went from unhappy to unhappier, all the while muttering about how my nerves couldn’t take much more and of all mornings and please, Aaron, don’t talk right now………..

I continued my shallow thinking as I realized that I would indeed have a bad hair day, no matter what I did to try to improve the mess on my head.  The clothes I chose to wear today didn’t help any, nor did the sandals.  No time to change all that now.  Of all days for me to have a doctor appointment, I moaned to myself.  Little annoyances for the remainder of the morning reminded me of my misery.  Aaron and I hurried out the door, stopping at the grocery store on our way to meet his group.  I had promised him a Cheddar Pasta Salad to take to his group.  Of all mornings to need to leave early, I grumbled.

At the deli counter, as we waited to be served, Aaron began to notice all the dishes.  He leaned over and oohed and aahed over the Deviled Egg Potato Salad, The Layered Salad, the Fruit Salad, the German sandwiches, the Spaghetti Salad…………and his joy over simple food began to silence my distasteful attitude.  He had moved beyond spilled coffee, bad hair, wounded finger, scratchy dog, and hot temps.  He noticed the good things before him.  As we walked out with not only his Cheddar Pasta Salad, but also a bottle of flavored water and some Skittles, he chattered happily about anything and everything.  If I wasn’t listening, I would have missed his observation that the entrance sidewalk at the Warren Theater is, in his words, “…….twinkle stone.  Does it have jewelry in it, Mom?”

I had to pause in my heart and smile.  As we drove to meet his group, I told him that I was sorry about my attitude that morning.  He didn’t say a word, but I  know he filed that apology in his mind.  I needed to say it and he needed to hear it from his grouchy mother this morning.  Later, at Sassy Nails, I sat across from a stranger – another mom – while our toes dried.  We talked and she shared how her sister had died of cancer, and how through it all she had blessings to be thankful for.  This woman, this mom, this sister, had no idea about how much I needed to hear those words.  How easy it is to let the slight troubles of my life ruin my disposition and take my mind off the Lord!

So I have counted my blessings for the rest of the day:
1.  The spilled coffee matches the carpet, especially in the dim light.
2.  A coffee smell on the stairs beats a dog smell any day.
3.  The living room needed to be mopped anyway.
4.  My new pink toes hopefully took the doctor’s eyes away from my bad hair.
5.  I do have hair.
6.  It may be 107 degrees outside, but we have working AC inside.
7.  It may be 107 degrees outside, but I don’t have to be outside working.
8.  It may be 107 degrees outside, but we have water for our thirsty garden.
9.  Our neighbors have to  move for various hard reasons, and the man taking pics of their house this morning wasn’t taking pics of our house.
10.  I have a faithful God; loving husband and children; and Aaron to remind me of what’s important.

And I have forgiveness – God’s forgiveness – and even Aaron’s forgiveness……..unspoken but there none the less.