The Good-Smelling Difference

Aaron was awake and out of bed very early Monday morning, especially considering the fact that he took a long time getting to sleep the night before.  We were late to bed on Super Bowl Sunday, and not just because of the game.  He and I watched a Dr. Quinn after the Super Bowl…a SUPER Super Bowl for us, by the way.  Aaron would tell you that the team we voted for WON!!  YAY!!

Aaron enjoyed watching the game with us.  He didn’t have many new insights, except for thinking that he heard something upstairs on fire.  What??  He was sure of it.

“I hear a snappeling sound!” he insisted.

Gary and I assured him that there was no fire upstairs, but finally he had to prove it to himself, so up the stairs he stomped – he does sound like a bull elephant! – and came back with the report that there was no fire upstairs.

“There’s the snappeling sound again!” he soon insisted once more.

Still no fire.

We eventually realized that the “snappeling” sound he heard was the sound of the player’s shoulder pads hitting together.  Who notices that sound?

Aaron does.  And isn’t that word just the perfect word for a crackling fire?

He didn’t eat much of the food I fixed.  He did try to convince me when I told him that he could have two Rice Krispie Treats that this was, indeed, only TWO!  😊

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On this Monday after Super Bowl, Aaron had an autism doctor appointment.  Aaron would tell you that we were eating lunch at Old Chicago as the main event, with the doctor visit as an annoying side trip.

He was chipper and happy, eating some breakfast I fixed him, but by the time we left the house later he had greatly changed.  I think he had a small seizure that I didn’t totally catch, only seeing the end of it.  Therefore, on the way to the doctor he was very tired, keeping his eyes closed most of the way.

The doctor does a good job with Aaron, trying to get him to communicate with her, but he was still draggy and tired…and his answers often very inaccurate.  She and I end up, as we did yesterday, talking about my Aaron concerns.

And my concerns seem to grow.  Weight loss…behaviors…seizures…a hard time on many nights going to sleep.

Adding a medicine…the concerns with that…

Just on and on.  And so many issues are unknown, even to doctors, when it comes to the brain and to the impact of long-term seizures and meds.

Now I was feeling dreary and burdened as we drove away, Aaron’s eyes closed again.  Even inside Old Chicago, as Aaron managed to eat two pieces of pizza, his mood wasn’t his usual over-excited self.

But on the drive home, Aaron and I had fun watching the temperature drop number by number as a cold front blew through.  He thought it was great fun!  It was also great fun to anticipate getting a haircut, which he loves.  I had signed in on-line and he was happy – but still very tired.

We ran home for a quick stop and to grab our jackets.  Then I told Aaron that I was sure a few Reese’s Cups would perk him up.

“Yeah!!” he agreed.

He carefully took three small ones, put them in his coat pocket, and off we went.

I never know when we go to Great Clips just how the visit will be.  As we walked in the door, I was just happy that Aaron didn’t barge in and loudly say,
“I’M HERE FOR A HAIR-CUT!!!” – as he so often has in the past.

However, yesterday I realized that we didn’t know any of the stylists.  I could feel discomfort invading my happiness.  I just never know if someone will understand Aaron or stare at him in that all-too-familiar way that makes me half angry and half sad.  I was hoping for someone who knew Aaron and was good with him.  Instead, we were given the perfunctory greeting as we entered, mixed with inquisitive stares.

UGH!!!

Aaron and I sat in our chairs, him totally unaware of my concern.  He wanted to know what Bed Head meant as he examined the products on the shelf, his voice still a little slurred.  Finally, he sat down and carefully pulled his Reese’s Cups out of his pocket.

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Two were placed neatly on the chair beside him, and the third he slowly unwrapped.  He ate it, and then repeated the action two more times.

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By then, the stylist walked our way and called his name…and I, with huge relief, saw that Aaron was in very good hands.

I knew he was in good hands because of the stylist’s big smile and her comfortable conversation with Aaron.  There was none of the awkward staring or obvious discomfort that we sometimes encounter when we are out.

Aaron sat in the wrong chair, one he has often used, but she handled it so easily.  Soon Aaron was sitting in the correct chair as the stylist asked him if he watched the Super Bowl.  Perfect question!

“Yeah!!” Aaron answered.  “Who did you vote for?!”

“I wanted the Chiefs to win,” she answered.  “Did you?”

“Yes!!” replied Aaron, rubbing his hands together in delight.

They talked about Super Bowl snacks as she cut Aaron’s hair and trimmed his facial hair, and soon she was done.

“Aaron, would you like some good smelling stuff in your hair?” she asked.

“I need to ask Mom,” he said as he looked my direction.

“MOM??” he yelled.  “Can she put some good smelling stuff in my hair?”

I laughed and said yes, of course, knowing how very happy Aaron would be with this turn of events.  He doesn’t have enough hair for good smelling stuff, but that’s not at all important.

Smiling, good smelling Aaron left there a very different person than when we walked in.  I did as well, I assure you.

And once again it hit me just how big a difference one person can make in another person’s day….specifically, in Aaron’s day…and thus, in mine.

Later that evening, Aaron was waiting on me to finish some things in my bedroom.  He was hovering, as he so often does.

“Mom!!”  he suddenly exclaimed.  “Do you want to smell my hair?!”

Normally, that would be a no.  A big no.  But not today, thanks to our difference-making hair stylist.

“Sure I do,” I answered.

Aaron chuckled in joy as I took a sniff.  He was rubbing his hands together, a sign of his total happiness.

Who would imagine that such a simple thing as good smelling hair stuff would bring such happiness to Aaron and to me?

His hair still smelled good, but more importantly, his heart was light and happy.  The residual nice scent was like the residual warmth in our hearts, both of us.

Never underestimate the difference you can make in someone’s life, especially in the lives of our special ones.  It isn’t necessary to spend money or to take tons of time.

A smile…a word…the warmth of understanding…are all such sweet gifts to each of us, parents and children alike.

That good smell lingers for such a long time!

Longer than the good smelling stuff in Aaron’s hair, trust me!   😊

 

 

Football – Aaron’s Way

Aaron, over the years, has slowly developed an interest of sorts in various sports – mainly football and basketball.  He has gone from knowing nothing – and not caring one bit that he knew nothing – to wanting to watch games with us.  He does at times enjoy the actual game, but I’m still convinced that his main motive in watching games with us is threefold.

  1. He can be in the same room with us and therefore TALK.
  2. He can play his hand-held game as he pretends to watch the TV screen.
  3. He has freedom and permission to eat snack foods.

Aaron has had some very funny comments over the years when it comes to his take on football and basketball.  So, since today is Super Bowl Sunday…and since Aaron is taking a nap and I just might have a few uninterrupted minutes…I thought I would let you view football through Aaron’s eyes and Aaron’s words.

The first thing that Aaron wants to set straight when we watch a game is this:

“MOM!!  Who are you voting for?!  SF or KC?!”

Once we clear up that question…and remind him of who SF and KC are…then he will feel free to enjoy the game.

And to make numerous comments.  Here a few that we have heard over the years.

 

  • “Why are those men wearing those striped suits?”
  • “Those referees look like they’ve been in jail.”
  • “Those cheerleaders are weird.”
  • “Those people who are yelling are crazy.”
  • “Why do some of those football players have long hair?”
  • “Those referees move their hands funny.”
  • “Why did those people paint their bodies?”

 

To each question we must have an answer.  Any answer will do, as long as it’s an answer.

Here’s the run-down from a college game we watched several years ago:

 

We settled in for a night of football – Aaron in the big easy chair that he loves, with his blanket over his lap like a nursing home patient; his digital clock that also shows the outdoor and indoor temperatures; tortilla chips; water; napkins; toothpicks; tootsie rolls; and possibly more food hidden under the blanket that I wasn’t aware of and chose to ignore.  So off we go:

 

“Mom, did you know that the temperature outside is 74 degrees?  Is that  cold?”

     “What does LSU stand for?”

     “Which color is WV wearing?”

     “There’s another referee in that jail costume”

     “Why do football players have long hair?”

     “Mom, now the temperature is 71 degrees?  Is that cold?”

     “I notice that sometimes coaches look mad.”

     “Do you think he can make a chance happen?”

     “A BOY cheerleader?  Now, that’s funny!”

     “How does that guy get that paint off his face?”

     “See, that coach looks mad!”

     “So are there five or six rounds in football?”

     “Why is that rope up in the air?”

     “Those refs in the jail costumes move their hands funny!”

     “Mom, now the temperature outside is 69 degrees. Is that because it’s   fall?” 

     “Why does that referee in the jail costume have an L on his shirt?”

     “See, that coach looks mad again!”

 

At last the game was over.  Sadly, we lost.  And the WV coach did look mad.  The temperature outside was 67 degrees.  Then Aaron asked, “So Mom, is there football on tomorrow?”   I don’t know, Aaron.  I think they cancelled all the games.  And besides, my ears hurt! 

 

And during an Alabama – LSU game:

 

“Mom, Alabama is wearing the red hats, right?”   Yes, Aaron, the red HELMETS.  And he replies, “OK, they’re wearing the red hats.”   Whatever.

 

Aaron is very fascinated with the cheerleaders, and not for the reason that you would think a 27 year-old young man would be fascinated with cheerleaders.  He just thinks that male cheerleaders are quite unusual.  He never thought of guys being cheerleaders.  “Mom, why are there boy cheerleaders?”   Well, Aaron, boy cheerleaders are usually called yell leaders, I believe.  “Yeah, so why do they have boy cheerleaders?”  Sigh.  Aaron, male yell leaders can hold up the pyramids better because they’re strong.  And they yell loud, too. 

 

Later the television camera panned over to do a quick shot of the girls standing on the boy’s shoulders.  “Look, Mom!!  The teenage cheerleader boys have to catch the teenage cheerleader girls so they don’t fall on the ground!”  He’s getting it.  I decided not to even talk about the age thing yet.  One concept at a time.

 

He loves watching the refs and trying to figure out their hand signals.  You have to take my word for it – his imitation of the hand signals is pretty hilarious.  And his comment at one point was, “Mom, that ref in his jail shirt has an “R” on his shirt!”  To Aaron, refs always have and always will wear jail shirts.  I guess he thinks they all have a rap sheet, too.  My apologies to the refs who may read this.

 

Coaches fascinate him.  He likes watching their expressions and seeing how they react to various decisions of the refs in their jail shirts.  This time he noticed their headgear.  “Mom, why does the chief of the team have those microphones?” 

 

He’s having a harder time figuring out the 4 quarters, but he’s doing better.  “Mom, is the halftime before the number 3 or the number 2?”   And as he started getting tired, especially when the team in the red hats that we voted for was losing, he said, “Mom, the 4th round is the last one, right?”

 

Trust me when I say that the fourth round cannot be over soon enough in some games!

 

He also, of course, has his own take on injured players:

 

“Mom, remember yesterday when that football player got hurt?  Those hospital people were bent over him.  He looked flattened!” 

“And then that bulldozer thing came in and picked him up!” 

 

There’s this:

 

“Mom, what’s that stuff they squirt in their mouths out of that bottle?”  It’s usually water, Aaron.  And he laughs and says, “Oh, I thought it was mouthwash!”  Some of the players may wish that it was. 

 

But the best question by far:

 

“How come football players look like they’re wearing a pacifier?” 

 

Well, that’s about it for now.  I may have more to add after tonight’s game.

I hope the team you vote for wins.

As long as it’s…well, I won’t say but I do live in Kansas, after all.  😊  😊

 

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You Voted For the Wrong Team

Yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday, a day which does not impress Aaron in the least.  He doesn’t care one bit about sports on most days, and certainly he does not see anything at all super about the Super Bowl.  Even the food I made didn’t greatly impress him.  Gary made some awesome special hamburgers on the grill, but Aaron just ate one of the regular burgers with a little ketchup smeared on it.  He didn’t care at all about the cake I made but instead munched on some Rice Krispie treats from the day before. 

He was pretty grouchy just before supper because he felt like Gary didn’t want to look at yet another clip from the War of the Worlds movie.  He was right.  Gary, nor I, had any desire at all to look at anything else related to War of the Worlds, but Aaron was very upset by that.  So after supper, dear Gary went up to Aaron’s room and watched another short clip………and Aaron was happy.

Gary and I settled in to watch the game.  It wasn’t too long before Aaron bounded into the room, asking his usual questions.  What teams are playing?  Which one are you voting for?  What color are they wearing?  It looks red to me, not orange, he said.  So are you voting for the team that has a zero for their score?

That’s about enough, Aaron.

I offered to tickle Aaron’s back, so he got the back scratcher tickler………and his animal print blanket that must always go over his legs……….and his bag of peanuts……….and his bowl for the peanut shells.  He sat on the ottoman near me and I began tickling his back, which he loves, as he watched the Super Bowl, which he doesn’t love. 

I kept having to remind Aaron that this tickling of his back was not another opportunity for him to talk incessantly about War of the Worlds.  This was our time to watch football and to listen to all the commercials, neither of which interested Aaron in the least.  Yet he was watching the game.  Aaron is always observing, whether he particularly enjoys the said activity or not.

His first astute observation didn’t take too long in coming.  “Mom, I think you and Dad should vote for Seattle.”

Yes, we knew that he was watching the game and that he was keeping track of the score. 

He wondered why the players were yelling, and what were they yelling, and were they mad.

He observed that lots of football players have long hair.

But the best question by far:  “How come football players look like they’re wearing a pacifier?”

At least he gave Gary and me something to laugh about as we watched the team we were voting for miserably lose.  Aaron thought that it was pretty funny that the team we voted for lost the game.  He has no team loyalty and no interest in that fact that we do.  It’s black and white to him.  We voted for the Broncos.  The Broncos lost.  We voted for the wrong team.  Period.

I would say that this Super Bowl business has given us a slight reprieve from all the War of the Worlds talk.  Very slight, but still a small break nonetheless. 

Shortly after he came down to the kitchen this morning, I heard his low chuckle.  I asked him what was funny, and he answered, “I’m laughing at your Super Bowl because your team only got eight points.”

See what I mean?  He has no sensitivity concerning team loyalty and team disappointment.  It’s a good thing that Gary and I don’t take all this football Super Bowl stuff very seriously.

And Aaron continued.  “You should have obeyed me and voted for that other team.”

Whatever.

But Aaron wasn’t quite done for the day.  At supper, Aaron once again laughed and then told us about one of the staff at his day group.  “Andrew voted for Seattle and they won.  I told him that my mom and dad voted for the Broncos.  You all should have voted for Seattle!”

OK, Aaron.  Well, let’s talk about something else. 

Have you seen any good alien movies lately?