Category: Humor

Aaron’s Injury

Aaron took a spill last week in his desk chair.  We had been out all day to a doctor appointment, lunch, and a movie.  When we got home, I offered to fix him some apples and peanut butter.  I put his snack on the bookshelf right beside his desk, where I put his cups of coffee in the morning.

I was all the way downstairs later when Aaron came in the room and told me that he had fallen.

“On the stairs?!” I asked.

“No,” he blandly answered.  “In my room.  I was reaching for my apples and peanut butter, and my desk chair fell.”

“Your whole desk chair fell over?” I asked.  “I didn’t hear that at all.”

“Well,” he continued, “you shouldn’t have put my apples and peanut butter on my shelf.”

“Why not?” I questioned.  “That’s where I always put your snacks.”

“Because,” he explained, “I had to reach for them and that’s why my chair fell.”

Why is it always Mom’s fault?!

So anyway, I asked him if he was all right and he said that he was.

I asked if he hit his head and he said that he didn’t.

There was no sign of anything wrong, so I didn’t worry.

That night, Aaron talked again about falling……and again mentioned the apples and peanut butter being on the shelf, where he had to reach out to get them.

Sigh.

The week went by, with Aaron occasionally talking about his fall…..always with those apples and peanut butter thrown in, of course.

A few mornings later, he told me that his upper arm hurt.  He and I figured it was how he had slept because sometimes he wakes up stiff and sore in an elbow or shoulder.  He didn’t act like it was a big deal and I didn’t make it one.

All this time, Aaron was wearing long sleeved shirts both during the day and at night to bed.  He wore long pants as well.  I never saw his arm until Sunday afternoon, five days after his desk chair fell.  Fell with him in it, because Mom had put his apples and peanut butter on his shelf……

Let’s not forget that little fact.  We won’t.  Not with Aaron around to press the issue.

So it was Sunday afternoon, and Aaron was taking a nap.  We were having a very hot day.  Aaron was wearing a short sleeve shirt.  And when I went in his room to wake him up from his nap, his arms were both raised over his head……and then I saw it.

Oh, my goodness!

He had awful bruising on the underside of his arm, from his upper arm to nearly his wrist.  Not only bruising, but also lots of swelling.  I was so shocked!

“Aaron!  What happened to your arm?!” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he replied.  “What’s wrong?”

I told him about the bruising and the swelling, but he couldn’t think of anything that had happened.  I asked more questions, and finally I remembered his fall in the desk chair.  That was it!  The chair had fallen to the right and the bruising was on his right arm……and on his right leg, we saw later, though not as severe as his arm.

Why on earth did Aaron not notice this?!  Is it because he’s color blind…..or that he doesn’t look at the underside of his arm…….or that he’s doing a less than stellar job in the shower?  It must have hurt, and I’m sure that’s what Aaron felt the morning he told me his arm hurt.  But still, how does one not notice such bad bruising?

I was feeling like the worst Mom!  You know, the kind who doesn’t check more thoroughly for injuries.  The kind who didn’t further explore the sore arm that morning.  The kind that puts apples and peanut butter on the shelf where Aaron had to reach for them.

I decided to take Aaron to the doctor on Monday, yesterday, just to rule out a fracture.  We didn’t think Aaron acted like he had a fracture, but we needed to be absolutely sure.

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He told the nurse about his fall.  “Because I was reaching for my apples and peanut butter that Mom put on the shelf,” he made sure to say.

He didn’t see me roll my eyes.  I hope the nurse didn’t, either.

And he told his doctor, who gets a kick out of Aaron, about the desk chair falling.  “Because I was reaching for my apples and peanut butter that Mom put on the shelf,” he said AGAIN.

Yeah, yeah.

Aaron had X-Rays taken to rule out a fracture.  He handled that well, as he does most medical procedures, enjoying the attention and all the cool new things that were there to see and hear.

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He showed everybody his arm, like the man who checked us in at the front desk and the lady who checked us in to X-Ray and the X-Ray tech and our neighbor and our friend that we delivered something to later……

Of course, he didn’t want to go to his day group today because of his bruised arm.  But I reminded him that he had gone all last week with a bruised arm, so he finally quit trying and he went on to Paradigm.  He rolled the window down quickly when he saw Antoine, his staff, as we pulled up.

“Hey, Antoine, look!!” he yelled.  Aaron popped up that arm as fast as he could and enjoyed Antoine’s reaction.  Then he chased Antoine around the parking lot as I pulled away.  So much for his very sore arm, right?

I learned today that there is not a fracture.  Thankfully, Aaron’s arm should be fine.  Soon there will be something new for Aaron to show off and tell about.  There always is, but hopefully the next thing won’t involve an injury like his cut foot at Thanksgiving that he showed off and now his bruised arm.

And if there is one, let’s all hope it’s not someplace like his stomach or some other body part that no one needs to see!

And that it does NOT involve apples and peanut butter THAT MOM PUT ON THE SHELF!!!

 

 

The Introduction

Sharing stories about Aaron is a good way to have insight into how Asperger’s Syndrome affects not only him, but all those who live and work with Aaron.  A key to surviving life with Aaron is to understand what makes him tick.  Then you can better function yourself, and not live in constant frustration or bewilderment.  Training and directing him is also accomplished with better results when you can get inside his head and realize just how and when to redirect, or when to wait it out. 

But then there are those times when you have no idea what is going on inside that head of Aaron’s until it’s out there for all the world to see and hear.

That scenario happens often with Aaron and us. 

We moved to Wichita (Goddard), Kansas in 1999 when Gary retired from the military and accepted a job here.  A couple years later we enrolled Aaron in a school here that offers training to high functioning special needs students.  This training prepares them, hopefully, for the job market upon graduation.  There were many great aspects of this school and its program, but it never was a good fit for Aaron.  

I’ll never forget the open house and parent night during Aaron’s first year.  The students were to accompany their parents into each of their classrooms and introduce us to their teachers.  The students were treated as adults and so were to address each teacher by their first name.  The evening was going very well and Aaron was doing a great job.  It was nice to meet each teacher and to see his new environment that he was to be a part of now. 

The evening was winding down and we had one more teacher to meet.  As we stood in the hallway, waiting for the family ahead of us to come out of the room, Aaron was beside himself with excitement.  When he’s excited he bends over and rubs his hands together, over and over.  He hadn’t acted this way with any of the other teachers and so we were perplexed at this behavior.  We tried to get him to calm down but to no avail.

Finally, the room was empty and we walked inside.  There stood his teacher, with a very pronounced spiked haircut.  Remember how Aaron is attracted to the unusual?  Well, Aaron thought that her hair was just that……very unusual.  Of course, Aaron had not shared anything with us about her hair.  If he had, then perhaps we could have averted what happened next.  

Aaron quickly walked over to her, rubbing his hands together, and said, “Mom and Dad, this is Cindy (name changed).  She looks like a hedgehog, doesn’t she?!”  

Oh.  My.  Goodness.  Time stood still.  We were horrified.  Aaron was delighted.  Cindy was unhappy.

I’m surprised that I’m still living, as many times as Aaron has caused my heart to nearly stop. 

Her reaction told us that things would not be easy for Aaron in this school.   I’ll just say that it was a very long two years. 

But Aaron did LOVE that haircut! 

For the whole two years.

Trust me.

Some Best Gifts

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.  It’s nice to have a day to declare our love for the people in our lives that mean a lot to us.  I’ll admit that I have loved every flower and card and box of candy that Gary has given me over the years.  But in the past few days, I’ve once again seen that the best gifts my husband gives is what he gives of himself, over and over and over, as we walk this life road together with our Aaron. 

Gary and I love Aaron.  We have chosen at this point in our lives to keep Aaron at home with us.  It’s not always easy, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.  However, there are two attitudes that help tremendously as we care for our son.  The first one is humor.

I’ll be honest and say that I like it when I pick Aaron up from his day group, and hear him say, “WHEW!!  I’m stuffed!!”  He then tells me what he ate for lunch that day, usually something on the large side.  So I casually ask if he wants supper and he often says no. 

Now, I don’t mean to sound mean, but Gary and I do enjoy eating dinner alone.  Just the two of us, enjoying casual conversation and pauses of quietness……blessed quietness.  Because if Aaron is with us, he loves to talk about his day and his recent activities and what he ate and what he said and how he was just teasing this person and how he got in trouble and what movie he’s watching and what aliens he’s interested in and what game he’s playing, etc., etc.  He watches for the slightest pause in Gary’s and my conversation, or maybe not even a pause at all, and will jump in quickly. 

“AND……guess WHAT?!!” he’ll interject.  And he’s off and running with another tale that he knows we MUST hear.  There is a time and a place for us to hear from Aaron, but we also enjoy each other’s company at least a few times a week.

The other night Aaron wasn’t planning to eat with us.  Gary came home to two place settings on the kitchen table.  We soon sat down to eat, just me and Gary, when we heard that all too familiar sound of Aaron’s heavy footsteps on the stairs.  How does he do that?  How does he just KNOW that we are sitting down to eat? 

Gary asked the blessing as we held hands, with Aaron hovering there between us.  As soon as the “Amen” was said, Aaron launched in.  “DAD, guess what?!”

“Aaron,” I interrupted.  “I thought you said you weren’t going to eat.”

“I’m not,” he replied.  “DAD, guess what?!”

So there we were, Aaron’s captive audience.  It’s always a struggle for us to know how blunt to be with Aaron.  We don’t want to make him feel like he’s not wanted with us.  But, really, we didn’t want him to stand there the whole meal and talk up a storm……and he would.  He was well on his way to doing just that. 

Finally I said, without terrible bluntness, “Aaron, now you’ve talked enough.  You need to let us eat.” 

“OK,” he said.  He walked over to the counter, picked up a pineapple that he noticed, and brought it over to us. 

“DAD!!  Look at this!!  Mom got a pineapple today!”

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In Aaron’s mind, he WAS letting us eat.  I didn’t want to be so blunt as to say, “AARON!!  QUIT TALKING!!”  So I told Aaron to let us eat, and he WAS letting us eat while he continued to talk.

Gary, also not wanting to be too blunt or hurtful to Aaron, looked at me and said, “Your clarification of your wishes would greatly enhance your desired results.”

Aaron had no idea what Gary was really saying.  Gary and I laughed and laughed, which made Aaron think that we loved what he was saying about pineapples……so he continued his talking while he let us eat, just like I had told him to do. 

Next to humor, patience is another important gift that Gary gives as we live with Aaron…..or he lives with us. 

Gary ordered two updated Star Wars games recently for Aaron’s computer.  He installed them for Aaron on Saturday.  Then came Gary’s strict instructions to Aaron about not changing settings or doing any other things to mess up what Gary had taken time to do.  We have lots of experience with Aaron doing just that.

Gary and I came home from church the next day to find Aaron telling his dad that something wasn’t right about the games.  Without even looking, Gary knew…..and he was right.  Aaron had tried to put some codes in or something…..it’s all Greek to me……and he had jumbled things up.  Gary had to sit down and re-do much of what he had just done the day before. 

It was a resounding GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR moment, for sure.  And Aaron knew it…..knew he had blown it and knew we were frustrated.

Aaron finally came in my room and said, “Nobody forgives me!”  Can we spell the word D-R-A-M-A?

The game was eventually back up and running.  Gary had slipped outside to take Jackson, our Dane, for a walk.  The walk was, I’m sure, doing more good for Gary than for the dog. 

Enter Aaron……into the kitchen, looking for Gary.  Gary, who was nowhere to be found.  Aaron asked me and I couldn’t lie, so with resolute steps Aaron was out the back door and striding across the grass to catch up to Gary and Jackson.  I felt badly for Gary.  I knew he wanted some alone time. 

Soon I looked out the window, watching them come from behind the tall evergreens into my view.  They walked slowly, Gary and Aaron, with Gary talking and engaging with Aaron.  It warmed my heart, as I am quite sure it did Aaron’s as well. 

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Gary’s love for Aaron is a great gift to me.  His humor and patience often come at times that we both need them the most.  Often when I am tired…..done…..ready to check out emotionally……Gary will step in and save the day for me.  Those are some of the very best gifts that he gives me, and they’re not just on one special day or two a year. 

Of course, I do still love flowers……just in case he reads this, you know.   🙂

 

 

 

The Bedroom

Aaron went to the Goddard Day School for three years, graduating from there at the age of 21.  His teacher, Tom, was just wonderful with Aaron and with all the students.  Tom would have one-on-one time with each student.  He would fix tea, sit with each one, and just talk and connect.  Tom called that time Tea with Tom.

When Aaron was a senior and ready to graduate, he was allowed to quit going to school earlier than those students who weren’t seniors.  Tom was still teaching, so one day he contacted me and asked if he could have one more Tea with Tom time with Aaron.  He said he would come to our house, so we agreed on a day for Tom to come. 

On the morning Tom was to arrive, I had things ready for our Tea with Tom.  Tom wanted me to join him and Aaron.  Gary was at work, even though he had a bad cold, and couldn’t be there for our tea time.  That little detail about Gary having a cold is important.

So is the fact that off our kitchen, down a couple little steps, is a guest bedroom.  And a small bathroom.  Because of Gary’s bad cold which made him cough all night, he had been sleeping in that guest bedroom.  This is another important detail to know. 

Tom, Aaron, and I were enjoying our tea as we sat at the kitchen table.   Aaron was full of non-stop talking, as always, and Tom was his usual patient self. 

Tom turned to me at one point and asked if he could use our bathroom.  I pointed him in the direction of the small bathroom.  As he headed that way, he saw the bedroom and for some reason he commented about it.

“I didn’t know you had a bedroom there,” Tom innocently said.

And before I could even reply, Aaron answered.

“Yeah,” he flatly replied to Tom.  “That’s where my Dad sleeps.  He doesn’t sleep with my Mom anymore.”

Well.

There it was, on the table……like a family secret thrown out there for Tom to know.

I was horrified.  Mortified. 

I looked at Tom, my face flaming at this point.  But Tom had turned and was heading for the bathroom.

“It’s not that way,” I somehow managed to say.

“You don’t have to say a thing,” Tom answered.

“YES, I DO!!!!” I blurted out.

So I explained Gary’s cold…..and his coughing……and his thoughtfulness in sleeping in the guest bedroom so as not to bother me……and that he and I were fine. 

Why was I having this conversation with a man??!!

And Aaron, as usual, was oblivious to my embarrassment and to Tom’s discomfort with the direction this conversation had taken. 

When Tom returned, our Tea with Tom resumed.  We chuckled and nothing else was said about this family secret, at least not that I remember.

Some things are best forgotten. 

Some things still make us laugh, years later. 

And Aaron…..nothing much escapes his notice. 

And he will tell it…..sometimes yell it. 

Every.  Single.  Time.

 

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The Nightgown

While we’re on the subject of night wear, before I put it to bed, I have another Aaron story to relate.  I’m trying to determine the purpose of sharing this.  I strive, with my blogs, to educate…..encourage…..enlighten…..entertain.  And with this blog, I must say, embarrass.  Myself.  Embarrass myself.

Actually, it was Aaron’s fault.  He did the embarrassing…..as usual.  It’s up to me to do the telling, which can also be embarrassing.

OK, I’ve established that fact.

On the particular night of this story, Aaron and I had gone through his extensive bedtime routine.  Blinds closed…..next day’s clothes laid out……glasses and watch put in their exact place…..shoes side by side in front of his trash can……clock turned so the light is hidden…..backscratcher and hand towel on his chair……stuffed animals in his bed……multiple blankets pulled up just right……pillow perfectly placed……and every wrinkle smoothed out of his covers.  Every.  Single.  Wrinkle.

I answered all his questions about whether it was going to rain and would I have the baby monitor on and what the temperature was outside.  A hug, a goodnight and I love you, and I was done. 

A short time later, I had my nightgown on and was almost in bed when I heard Aaron call me from his room.  I knew better than to ignore him.  If I ignored him, I would soon hear him thumping up the hall and he would bound into our bedroom and tell me whatever it is he wanted to tell me.  Therefore, I walked down the hall in my normal…..and might I add, modest……nightgown.  I went into Aaron’s room, where he had turned on his lamp, and I listened to whatever it was he wanted to tell me.  I don’t even remember what it was, but it could very well have had to do with aliens or something genetically modified, knowing Aaron.

It only took a minute, max, but it was long enough for Aaron to make an observation.

Fast forward to the next afternoon when he was home from his day group.  He was filling me in on what he had done that day; what he had eaten; and whatever conversations he thought were interesting. 

“Mom,” he finally said.  “I told everyone that last night you came in my bedroom in your underwear.”

I try not to overreact with Aaron.  Too much emotion or reaction can upset him, or anger him, or excite him.  So as calmly as I could, I said……

“WHAT????!!!!!!”

 I proceeded to explain that what I wore last night was a normal, MODEST, nightgown……NOT underwear, for crying out loud.

Aaron was the one who stayed calm.

“Oh,” he said, totally unaffected by my reaction.  “I thought it was your underwear.”  And off he walked, with not a care in the world.  But I cared!!

I spent the rest of the evening wondering what the staff at Paradigm thought about Aaron’s brazen mother.  I told Aaron the next day to be sure and tell everyone what his mother was REALLY wearing.  And as time went on, it became a funny story that his staff and I laughed at many times. 

I’m sure they never thought for a second that I would do such a thing. 

Right?

 

 

Before…..Or After?

Today I had my yearly appointment with my dermatologist, Dr. Householder.  She gave me a good going-over, declared me free of any skin cancers, and then smiled broadly as she said, “It’s been ten years since your first skin cancer, so I don’t need to see you again.  You graduated!”  She smiled broadly and I did, too.  I like Dr. Householder, don’t get me wrong, but it’s nice to be told you don’t have to come back for check-ups anymore.  And today she didn’t even offer me her standard advice concerning what to wear out in the yard.  A bonnet.  Yes, she always urged me to make or find a bonnet, and to wear it whenever I did gardening or yard work.  I just never could go there.  I think Gary was glad for that.

I drove away from her office and thought back to ten years ago when I had skin cancer surgery.  Thankfully, it was not melanoma.  I had noticed a rough patch on the very top of my right ear for a long time, but never thought a thing about it.  It would come and go, bleed and bother me, and then heal some before repeating the same thing again….and again.  Silly me didn’t even think about skin cancer, though with my dad’s history of multiple skin cancers and surgeries, I should have thought of that first.

I ended up in Dr. Householder’s office, where she confirmed that it was skin cancer and that it would need to be removed.  However, since it was on my ear and was fairly deep, she wanted me to see a plastic surgeon.  She had never referred anyone to Dr. Schoonover before, so I was the first.  I don’t even remember in which office I saw him first, but he did schedule me for surgery.  Not long after, I had a decent sized pie-shaped wedge taken out of my ear, the two sides pulled up and stitched together, and was sent home to recover.  I carried with me my appointment date and location for my post-op visit a couple weeks later, along with an awkward bandage on my ear.

The day came for my return appointment with Dr. Schoonover.  This visit was to be at his east side office.  I must explain that in the history of Wichita, the east side has been known to have more of what some locals call “old money.”  It’s like the east side is richer than the west side, or something like that.  I’m from the west side. 

Now, I’m just a simple person.  Not fancy, not rich……but my mother always told me to dress nice when seeing a doctor and so I try to do that.  On this winter day, we had a good amount of snow on the ground.  Therefore, with my khaki slacks and my warm sweater, I chose a pair of practical leather lace-up shoes.  I felt like I looked just fine as I headed over to the east side of town.

I pulled up in the snow-covered parking lot of Dr. Schoonover’s office.  It looked like a nice building…..and then I noticed the sign, the one that said something about aesthetics and plastic surgery.  I walked carefully to the door, stomped the snow off my feet, and walked inside.

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I felt like I had entered another world.  The waiting room was gorgeous, with plush carpet and ornate furniture.  No standard waiting room chairs here, I noticed.  No adult contemporary music playing on the sound system, either.  It was classical, of course.  I signed in with the receptionist who was beautifully dressed and sitting behind a very pretty desk.  And then I turned to take my seat.

Oh dear.  I sat down gingerly in a chair as I tried to get my bearings.  In a corner stood a huge piece of furniture on which there were bottles of make-up and skin creams for sale.  Lovely curtains hung on the windows.  Soft light made everything…..well, soft.  There was a gorgeous table in the center of the plush chairs.

And in those chairs, scattered around the room, were sitting other women.  No one had on khaki pants.  No one had on a normal winter sweater.  No one had on practical leather lace-up shoes.  These women looked very rich…..very well put together……very stiff.  They sat in their plush chairs wearing their wool pants and expensive jackets and leather high heels.  How did they walk in those things?  In the snow!  No one made eye contact and there was no small talk that I remember.  Of course, I was trying to scoot my feet back under my chair as far as possible! 

One of the assistants came out of a room and her shirt was striking.  It was black, and on the front in large and very sparkly letters it said, “BOTOX.”  I really wanted to laugh at that point.  What did I expect in a waiting room that wasn’t just for plastic surgery patients, but was for “aesthetic” patients?  Look up that word.  It means, “Pertaining to a sense of the beautiful.”  That would fit!

And there I sat in my normal clothes, with my leather lace-up shoes under the chair, and an awkward bandage on my ear.  I noticed something else.  There were no magazines.  No Better Homes and Gardens.  No Sports Illustrated.  No Taste of Home. 

But guess what was strewn over the ornate table in the middle of our chairs?  Thick notebooks with pictures in them.  I leaned forward a tad so that I could see them better.  I should have known.  I saw pictures of women and then on the notebooks the words, “Before,” and “After.” 

Aaahhh yes, of course!  And it was then that I wondered if all those fancy women were looking at me and thinking, “She’s a Before.  Definitely a Before!”  HaHaHa!! 

Well, I had what I called an ear lift, for crying out loud!!  That should count for something! 

I was very happy to finish with my doctor visit that day.  Dr. Schoonover was happy with my ear.  Makes me laugh to even say that when I think of what some of those other women were probably there for.  Botox and tucks and trims and suction……who knows?  Oh, and he took a picture of my ear and then of me……my whole face!

I wonder if I was in the After notebook after all?

My final visit with him was at the location of my choosing.  I chose his west side office that was nearest to my house.  It’s called Eberly Farm. 

Yeah, that’s more my speed. 

Be My Valentine

Aaron climbed in the van this afternoon when I picked him up from his day group.  I talked to Katie, his staff, about his day…..which she said was excellent, with Aaron being kind and funny.  What awesome news!!

Aaron was settling into his seat and buckling his seat belt as Katie and I finished talking.  I had noticed that he walked to the van carrying two things in his hand, so before I drove away I looked down at the two items that he had placed between our seats. 

“What are those things?” I asked him.

“Well,” he replied as he held up a cup.  “K asked if I would be her Valentine, so she gave me this.”

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K is a client, one that Aaron doesn’t see a lot, I don’t believe.  But I guess she wants to be Aaron’s Valentine, so she hopefully sealed the deal with this gift.  It made me smile.  But it was the next thing that I saw that had me laughing.

The list.  She wrote a list for her new Valentine.  You know, just to give him a few gift ideas so he could seal his end of the deal.

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This girl has been schooled, let me tell you!!  HaHaHa!!

And good old Aaron, who loves to give and to share, asked if he could give those gifts to K.  I explained, as we drove home, why these gifts were out of the question.  Aaron was disappointed, and surprised, that he couldn’t buy K what she wanted.

At supper, Aaron showed Gary his gift from K, which made him smile.  And then he showed Gary the gift list, which made Gary laugh out loud just as I did.  Aaron was stoic, still disappointed at our reactions. 

“You mean I can’t get her those gifts?” Aaron asked with a straight face.

“No, Aaron,” Gary replied.  “You don’t have that kind of money for all those expensive gifts.  Why, even your mother wouldn’t expect to get those kinds of gifts.”

Wait.

What did Gary say?!!

Why is he laughing?!!

🙂  🙂

Have a Tootsie Roll!

My writing about life with Aaron has taken a back seat lately.  Actually, more like the back car on a very long train.  Traveling over Thanksgiving and then returning to the mad rush of Christmas preparations have certainly been major factors.  But there’s more to it than that.

I feel overshadowed.  Living under a dark cloud of Aaron issues.  Increased seizures…..medicine decisions……doctor visits.  But even heavier than those concerns are the disruptions caused by his behaviors, which honestly have at times been far from nice.

Autism……family therapist…..psychiatrist……investigating alternative medical helps…….phone calls……meetings.  It can get overwhelming sometimes.  Keeping our cool can also be next to impossible, sometimes as impossible as understanding what makes Aaron tick.  But we must understand that Aaron operates with a very unique mindset, without most of the filters that others have, and that he is constantly bombarded with sounds and ideas and stimuli that you and I never have to handle.  His day group is a perfect breeding ground for noises and irritants and unusual people that can aggravate him quickly.  We rarely see the behaviors at home that they see there.  It can get messy.

Today I saw the side of Aaron that I wish he showed every day.  It’s there…..just sometimes not seen as vividly as I saw today.  Yeah, he got mad at a game this morning before we left for his dentist appointment.  But he and I had a good discussion about it as we drove to the dentist’s office, where he also relished discussing his angry experience with the office staff, and with anyone else who had ears.  He has no shame…..really.

As we left the dentist’s office, he gladly grabbed a cookie that was offered to him by the staff.  And Tootsie Rolls that were in a bowl.  Did he ever take Tootsie Rolls!  I had no idea.

He ate one or two in the car on the way to Pizza Hut for lunch.  The Pizza Hut buffet, heaven on earth for Aaron.  All You Can Eat…..anything…..is heaven on earth to Aaron.

As we left Pizza Hut, paying for our All You Can Eat buffet……where Aaron really didn’t get to eat all he could eat because Mom stopped him way too soon……

Anyway, as we left and were paying at the register, Aaron pulled out yet another Tootsie Roll from his pocket.  “Here,” he said to the smiling lady behind the counter.  She was smiling because Aaron had tried to hide from me while I was in the bathroom.  He was standing near the exit doors, peeking around the edge of the wall, grinning from ear to ear and then laughing loudly when I saw him.  All of this in full sight of a banquet room full of people who were supposed to be listening to a speaker, but who were instead looking at Aaron and me with grins on their faces.  Story of my life.

So Aaron pulled out the Tootsie Roll, handing it to the now laughing employee, and said, “Here.  Because I liked the food today.”

When does he never like the food today?

But she was so happy to get his Tootsie Roll!  She took it and thanked him, telling him that she loved Tootsie Rolls.  Aaron was super pleased at her reaction.

“Look!!” he loudly said.  “See how many I got at the dentist?!”

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Oh dear.  He pulled out a whole fist full of Tootsie Rolls.  All I could think about was the fact that the ladies in the dentist’s office probably saw him take that stash while my back was turned to Aaron.  When will I learn to never turn my back on Aaron when there are cookies or Tootsie Rolls involved?!

I gave him the “Don’t Be a Tootsie Roll Pig” lecture on our way to TJ Maxx, while he unwrapped Tootsie Rolls and enjoyed his free dessert.  He offered me one and I accepted, feeling like a hypocrite.  I stopped the lecture.  Shouldn’t talk with my mouth full.

We walked into TJ Maxx, where I told him that I was looking for a gift for Nora.  Nora is my little elderly friend that I take out once a week.  She was our neighbor for 15 years before moving to assisted living.  Aaron knows Nora.  Sometimes he’s been not so nice to her, but other times he’s tolerable.  Today he surprised me.

“Mom!!  I want to get Nora a Christmas gift!” he exclaimed.  “Here!!  I want to get her……this!!”  And he grabbed the first thing he spied, a Christmas candle holder that I knew Nora wouldn’t need or want.

Aaron’s desire to get Nora a gift just made me very happy, so I told him that we would look for something.  We were browsing in the perfume section when I heard Aaron talking to someone.

“Here!” he was saying.  I looked over to see him offering the employee manning the dressing room……you guessed it……a Tootsie Roll!!

This young lady looked a little uncomfortable as big Aaron held a Tootsie Roll out to her.  At first she declined his offer, but then for some reason she said yes.  She looked at me with a smile and at Aaron with a smile as she accepted the Tootsie Roll.  And Aaron laughed with delight as he bent over and rubbed his hands together, oblivious to shoppers who were looking and this new friend whose mind was full of questions, I’m sure.

It was really very, very sweet.  Sometimes in these moments it’s tempting for me to be too embarrassed to enjoy what just happened.  Today, though, I really relished what Aaron was doing.  I loved it!!  I loved how happy it made him to share with strangers.  And how happy these strangers were to have received such a spontaneous little gift from unusual Aaron.

Aaron had not forgotten that he wanted to buy a gift for Nora.  We looked here and we looked there, and finally I saw a perfect box of chocolates.

“YES!!” Aaron said when I showed him the box.  “Let’s get that!”

Later, at supper, Aaron had a thought.

“Mom?  Can Nora eat that chocolate?”

I told him she could…..that she loves chocolates.

“But does she have fake teeth?!”

I told him she does not have fake teeth as I tried not to laugh.

“Good!” he answered.  “I thought she might have fake teeth and couldn’t eat it.”

Aaron wants to give the gift of chocolates to Nora, in person.  I am quite sure that he will ask her if she has fake teeth.  She still hasn’t forgotten how he once said that she was old.

See what I mean?  No filters…..no shame.

But Aaron has a big heart.

Here.  Have another Tootsie Roll.

I need to give the dentist a bag of Tootsie Rolls at my next visit.

 

 

Pass The Kleenex

Aaron has just recovered from a nasty virus.  It was nasty in more ways than one.  He felt terrible.  He had a stuffy head.  He had a sore throat.  He ran a fever.  He had some seizures.  All of this is definitely nasty.  But there is another level of nasty with Aaron when he has a cold……a level that I have written about in the past.

Aaron would not blow his nose.  We’re not totally sure why he won’t blow his nose, but he just refuses.  Therefore, as I wrote before, Aaron snorts.  It’s very disgusting and annoying.  Nasty.  For me, for Gary, and for anyone else within hearing distance.

I told Aaron over and over how much better he would feel if he blew his nose.  I finally resorted to telling Aaron over and over how much better his dad and I would feel if he blew his nose.  Aaron wasn’t particularly interested in how we felt, however, so the snorting continued.  He wasn’t even interested in the fact that blowing would help HIM feel better.

Until finally, one day, my words got through to Aaron’s stuffed up head.  He blew his nose.  He actually, for real, blew his nose.  I praised and praised him as if he was a small child who had just gone potty for the first time.  He looked at me as if I was an irritating gnat, so I backed off the vibrant praise and tried to be very flat and factual, which Aaron much prefers.

“Good job, Aaron,” I said with a level voice.  “Doesn’t that feel better?”

“Yeah,” he said as he walked away.

The next time he blew his nose, I asked to see the Kleenex.  He knew then that I had surely lost my mind, but I told him that the color of the mucus could tell us if he had an infection.

Sorry for being gross.

But Aaron held out the Kleenex very gingerly and I peeked at it, made a comment…..we don’t need details……and off Aaron went.

Aaron marked that information down, though, as a way to keep reminding us that he wasn’t feeling well.  When he’s sick, we hear over and over the same four word comment from him:  “I’m not feeling well.”

“Mom!” he said soon after the mucus color test.  “I blew my nose and it was GREEN!!  That’s how I’m not feeling well!”

I wanted to tell him that’s how I’M not feeling well now!

I heard a lot from that point on about green nose stuff.  We were still in a nasty mode, but at least it was in a Kleenex now.

Speaking of……Aaron did with his nose blowing what he does with everything in his life.  He developed his own way of doing this task.

He had to have a box of Kleenex with him at all times.  Not a few Kleenex, but a box.  A box at his desk.  A box on the end table beside his TV chair.  A box on the kitchen table while we played Skip-Bo.  A box on the nightstand beside his bed at night.

And not only a box of Kleenex.  He also had to have a trash can in which to place the dirty Kleenexes after blowing.  And not just any trash can.  It had to be his trash can from his room.  His trash can beside his desk.  His trash can beside his TV chair.  His trash can beside the kitchen table while we played Skip-Bo.  His trash can beside his bed at night.

When he finally felt better and was able to return to his day group, he was still needing to blow his nose.  By now his nose blowing was routine for him, but also done in just his routine way.  So he told me that he needed to take a box of Kleenex with him to Paradigm on his first morning back.  I agreed, and Aaron was very happy about that, as you can see.

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He marched into Paradigm that morning, box of Kleenex in tow, ready to start his new week.

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“Barb!” he said as he barged into her office.  “I’m blowing my nose!  I brought a box of Kleenex!”

Barb laughed and I explained.  She knows Aaron well enough to understand that this was a big moment for him, and to not question the box of Kleenex.

I was just thankful that Aaron didn’t insist on taking his trash can!

Aaron has blown and blown and blown this past week.  We hope his nose blowing hang ups are a thing of the past.  We definitely hope that his snorting is a thing of the past!!

And once again we just watch as Aaron decides to own something like this…..and to really make it his own, in the unique way that totally suits him.

Gary and I are once again along for the ride, shaking our heads and laughing when Aaron can’t see or hear us.  Even something as mundane as nose blowing becomes a picture of just how unique Aaron is.

Pass the Kleenex.

The BOX!!
 

The Cold Sore

You know from the blog title that what I’m going to write about today has something to do with the pleasant subject of a cold sore.  Let me tell you, I am cold sore weary.  Looking at it…..talking about it……putting medicine on it……discussing every little detail of it……

It’s just tiring.  Oh, and I don’t have the cold sore.  Aaron does.

You probably guessed that.

I do feel sorry for him, truly.  Cold sores are painful.  He’s never had one before, so this new experience has been very impacting to him.  You would think with all the medical challenges that he faces, a cold sore would be minor.  But not Aaron. 

He will talk a sore to death.  He had a little cut on his knuckle not long ago, and I heard more about that little cut than I ever, ever want to hear again.  I have to say, though, that some of his statements are really funny…..or really insightful……or downright confusing.

“Mom?” he asked one morning as he held his cut finger up in front of my face.  “Is the blood holding in the sore of the skin?”

Ponder that one. 

“I’m not sure, Aaron” – has become a routine answer for me.  Or, “Google it, Aaron.”  That’s another good one.  Both are said in a rather monotone voice after about day three or four of Aaron dissecting everything there is to possibly dissect about his sore or bruise or bump…..or cold sore now. 

I wish I had written down all of Aaron’s comments about his cold sore, or how many times a day he has talked about it.  This unusual malady has him stumped for answers and explanations, so he talks it to death.  My monotone voice is in full force, trust me.  Aaron doesn’t notice that, of course.

So here are some of his statements about his cold sore.

“Mom, it hurts when I eat because I open my mouth high.”

“It stretches!”  (Talking about how it cracks)

“I feel it pumping.”  (That feeling of your heartbeat in a sore place)

“It gets dark…..the color of the sore.”  (How it looked as it scabbed over)

“Mom!  The medicine fell off!”

And after I told him that it gets worse before it gets better, he paused a minute before saying, “The reason it’s getting worse is because it’s getting better.”

Sure, Aaron.  Yeah.  We’ll go with that.

On Friday he went with Amy, one of the staff, to pick up some things for Paradigm at a drug store.  Aaron put two and two together really quickly.  Just that morning on our way to Paradigm, he and I had stopped at our Dillon’s and bought some new cold sore medicine.  But with Amy at a new drug store, he of course engaged the pharmacist in a conversation about his awful cold sore.  Aaron had news for me about what to do to treat his cold sore, according to this concerned pharmacist, but of course it’s what we were already doing.  Aaron didn’t bother to tell him that because he loved all this new attention. 

So today Aaron went with me down to Dillon’s again.  We went up and down the aisles while I checked this and bought that, and Aaron tried to talk me into more than his salad…..and croissants……and flavored water.  I ended up at the pharmacy, where I was checking on some calcium on the shelf, and where Aaron spied Marc and Greg in the pharmacy.  We have known Marc and his family for years, and Greg has gotten to know us more recently.  Aaron wasn’t concerned at all about whether we know Marc and Greg.  He only saw a fresh opportunity.

“Hey!” I heard Aaron say as I was bending over a bottle of calcium.

And I knew.  I knew immediately, from years of experience, what Aaron was doing.  He had grabbed a prime opportunity by the tail.

“Hey!” he repeated as he moved to the counter. 

I tried to run interference but Marc is very kind, and he knows Aaron, and Greg is also very kind…..so Marc moved over to where he could talk to Aaron.  I laughed mentally because just a few days earlier I had seen Marc and his wife in Penny’s, where I told them about the cold sore and how Aaron is so obsessed about it, and where Marc gave me some medicine advice.

“I have this cold sore,” Aaron began, and off he went.  Funny how totally Aaron could ignore me and stay on track with his story as I stood there commenting on all of his comments.   

“Aaron, your cold sore is getting better.”

“Aaron, we’re doing what they’re saying to do.”

“Aaron, you know all about how to take care of it.”

“Aaron, Marc and Greg need to get back to work.”

And so it went, until this:

“Hey!” Aaron added.  “Have you watched XFiles?”

“Aaron!” I said.  “Don’t get started…..”

“Have you watched NINE seasons of XFiles?!” he continued. 

“Aaron, we need to go!” I repeated.  “They need to get back to work.”

“Have you seen the smoking man?” Greg asked.

“Well, now you’ve done it,” I told Greg as I laughed.  Talk about throwing gas on a flame!

We finally escaped as customers began to collect, and probably wondered why we were standing there talking about XFiles to two pharmacists.  Cold sores, maybe……but XFiles?

Aaron ate his salad and his croissants, and I put more medicine on his cold sore……but I think it’s already fallen off.  Hopefully soon the cold sore will be a distant memory.  At least with a cold sore, Aaron doesn’t have to lift his shirt up to show it to unsuspecting random people.  Now that’s a memory!!

Maybe a cold sore is a blessing in disguise after all, at least for me and for others who have been bombarded with the bare stomach shock as Aaron showed off an under-his-shirt sore.  

Life is never dull with Aaron.  I could only wish on some days……