Category: Humor

You’re Looking for Reindeer WHAT?!

Our sweet (and funny!) friends got Aaron this exploding reindeer poop for his birthday.

He LOVES it and has had so much fun sharing it with Ryker. Recently he and I went to Walmart to buy more of the poop (REINDEER poop!).

Of course, Aaron, who loves to accost every Walmart employee within sight to ask them where something is, was on a mission.

We couldn’t locate the poop (REINDEER poop). As we walked up an aisle, Aaron began veering toward a woman in the unmistakable blue Walmart vest.

Me: AARON! Do NOT ask anyone where the reindeer poop is. We can find it ourselves.

We had already looked in one section of Christmas supplies without success. Soon I saw an employee walking our way.

Me: Excuse me, I have a question…..

Aaron: We’re looking for the reindeer poop! Can you tell us where it is?

Me: Aaron, HUSH!

Me (trying again): Is there another section of Christmas decor and so forth?

He was able to answer my question despite his confusion and on our way we went, with me ordering Aaron in no uncertain terms to NOT ask any other poor innocent employees for help finding reindeer poop.

Soon we were in the garden section, scouring the Christmas aisles for reindeer poop, when there stood an unsuspecting blue-vested Walmart employee with a smile on her face. A smile which Aaron took for an open invitation to ask the dreaded question.

Aaron: HEY! Do you know where the reindeer poop is?

Me: AARON!

Aaron: I’m just trying to help us find the reindeer poop.

So I felt the urgent need to do some explaining about reindeer poop while she told us where it might be and I continued with my explanation more fully while Aaron briskly walked toward, hopefully, reindeer poop.

I hurried to catch up with him.

Me: AARON! I will find the reindeer poop!!

We did locate it, finally. Aaron was super excited and rubbed his hands together furiously while I carried the poop prize to self-checkout.

Hey, if any of you want to buy some exploding reindeer poop I can lend Aaron to you. He’ll help you find it or find who will.

I dare you. 🤣💩🦌

Aaron’s Talking Points #16

I save some of Aaron’s funny sayings and conversations so that I can share them.  After all, my blog is titled He Said WHAT?!  These are older ones.  He talks so much, and I can’t keep up with sharing like I should.  Enjoy!

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Our newly widowed little 88-year-old neighbor came over for supper tonight. Just as we started to eat, Aaron looked at Gary and said, “Hey Dad, is sex a bad word?” 

Nice, Aaron. Really nice.

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Gary was trimming some branches from a tree.  Aaron was sitting nearby and some of the sawdust fell on him.  A couple days later Aaron said, “Mom, remember when that tree dust fell on me?” 

For crying out loud, even my trees are dusty!!

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Aaron has been wanting a Nintendo Switch. We’ve told him that we’re NOT going out to buy a Nintendo Switch. It costs $300.00, for heaven’s sake! He and Barb looked it up on her computer today.

Aaron: MOM!! The Nintendo Switch is $299.00! That’s not even $300.00!!!

In Aaron’s world, this is a huge difference. But not in mine.

😅 😅 💸

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Aaron was trying to talk me into giving him more money tomorrow since he’s going to Wal-Mart with his group. I said no and told him that he ended up giving money away half the time and he doesn’t need more. He then walked over to Gary, who was sitting at the table, and quietly said, “Do you agree with that?”

Oh, Aaron! I guess he hoped he had one more shot!

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Aaron: There was no new MacGyver on last night. It was an award of Emmy!

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After his doctor appointment today, Aaron and I went to Cheddar’s for lunch.

“MOM!! Are they taking those fish out of that tank and fixing them for lunch?!” 😲😬😂

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Aaron’s had some seizures the past two nights. He woke up very hungry.

“Mom!! When I got out of bed, my stomach felt skinny!” 😃😃

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When Aaron finally realized this morning that his fate was sealed and he was going to Paradigm, he became inpatient to leave NOW. Watching me quickly slap on some makeup wasn’t making him happy.

“Mom!! Dad’s stuff he puts on is quicker than yours!!” 😃

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Nearly every night when Aaron is FINALLY in bed and we have completed his bedtime routine, he will invariably have one more thing he must talk about before he can go to sleep. Sometimes I make it two or three steps up the hall before he says, “MOM??” Or, as was the case last night, I was just closing his door when he thought of that one more piece of info he needed before he could sleep.

Aaron: MOM??

Me (sighing, which Aaron doesn’t notice or care about): What, Aaron?

Aaron: So first there’s 12 a.m. and then there’s 12 p.m.

Me (thinking in my tired head and not saying it out loud): REALLY??!!!!

Me (what I really said): Yes, there is.

Aaron: So, during the night it becomes morning.

Pause from Aaron as he waited for my response.

Pause from me as I hoped he was done, and I could leave.

No such luck.

Aaron: So, during the night it becomes morning.

Me (whose brain isn’t ready for this discussion after 9:00 p.m. Actually, not at 9:00 a.m. either): Yes, Aaron, it’s something like that.

Aaron: How come?

Me (leaning against the door frame now because of the dreaded HOW COME question!!!): It’s because…that’s just the way time is! Good night and sleep well and I’ll see you in the morning and I love you.

Oh my goodness!! I said the words “night” and “morning” – but he didn’t seem to notice as I walked quickly down the hall.

Where does he come up with this stuff at 10:30 P.M.???!!!!

🙃 🌙 🌞 😆

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When we travel, we take snacks and then try to just eat out once a day. Aaron thinks that no one on a trip should just eat out once a day.

Aaron: I need to use the bathroom.

Gary: Ok. We’ll look for a place.

Aaron: I was thinking of a bathroom in a restaurant.

Smooth move, Aaron! Hahaha!!

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Aaron’s doing great so far as we drive to Houston. He’s excited to see Andrea and the doggies. He’s VERY excited at the prospect of eating out. Earlier this morning:

Aaron: Will we eat out on the way there? I’m talking about at a restaurant.

We said yes.

Aaron: We will do it for lunch, right?

Gary: Maybe for supper, too.

Aaron: Like what time is supper?

We told him we don’t know.

Aaron: So we would do it for lunch and supper, Mom?

Yes, Aaron.

At 10:37:

Aaron: I’m getting hungry, Dad. But I’ll wait til 12:00.

Aaron does not leave his schedule behind when we travel. 😊

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Aaron and I passed a convertible, top down and a dog enjoying the ride with his owner. 

Aaron: “Mom, do you like those kind of cars where the lid comes off?” 😁

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Aaron loves to listen to music in the van while I drive him to meet his group. This morning as we headed to the van he said, “Mom, can you play that Sarah that sings about that love thing?” 

Yep, Aaron’s all about relationships.

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Aaron loves to talk about our wedding picture and comments about how young I was or how skinny I was. 

His latest: “Mom, in your wedding picture your hair was thin.” 

Good grief! Even my hair has gained weight?! I’m hiding that picture!!

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Tonight Aaron told me that the alley where his group bowled last week was near Hoots.  

“Hoots?,” I asked.  

“Yeah”, he said.  “You know, Hoots! That restaurant you won’t let me eat at.” 

Oh my goodness.  It was another bite-my-tongue and try-not-to-laugh moment!  

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Our normal evening routine was disrupted tonight by waiting until it was nearly dark to light some sparklers and throw down some Pop-Its and then visit with our neighbors. When we came inside, Aaron still wanted to watch a Blue Bloods episode – we just started season one. It was late, but I said OK.

We finished watching it. When it was over, Aaron looked immediately at his watch.

“Oh my!” he said. “It’s 10:49!”

It’s good to end this day with a laugh. Time for bed! 😀💙

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We started the last leg of our drive home this morning. One of the first things Aaron wanted to know was what time we would be home, so we told him it would be around 4:00.

At 3:09:

Aaron: When will we be home?

Me: In about an hour.

Aaron: No. You said 4:00.

Gary: What time is it?

Aaron: 3:09.

Gary: Then it’s about an hour.

Aaron: No. It’s 51 minutes.

🕓❤😀

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Aaron’s decided that he prefers boneless meat. Yesterday he came running in from his group and his first question was, “Mom, what are we having for supper?” I told him that we were having T-Bones. Without missing a beat he asked, “Are they boneless?!” 

You know, Dillons was all out of boneless T-BONES so I had to get T-BONES with bones! 

This time I did laugh.

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And I hope that you have enjoyed some smiles and laughs like we have with Aaron’s comments and antics.  

‘Til next time!

Aaron’s Talking Points #15

It’s beyond time for another selection of Aaron’s funny comments and his very unique take on the world. I hope you smile and maybe even laugh. We do!

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Aaron during Skip-Bo: “Oh, Mom! Yesterday in Best Buy I didn’t look at the sign and I went in the women’s bathroom! I wondered why the Best Buy people had made the bathroom look different.” 

“Aaron! Was anyone in there?” 

“No – just Tiffany.”

 Aahhhh!!! 

“And I went ahead and used the bathroom.” 

Double Aahhhhhh!! 

I will NOT be seen with Aaron in the New Market Best Buy anytime in the near future.

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Aaron, looking at leftovers in the frig: “Mom, do we have any of that fajita thing left?” 

Me: “What fajita thing?”

 Aaron: “You know – the one I wanted to gorge on.” 

Well, Aaron, that could be anything that you’re looking at in the frig, basically.

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Aaron was showing me the box for his ridiculous genetically altered python movie. 

“And look, Mom, at how big that snake is! He’s 128 feet pounds!!!” 

Oh please, can we not start doing this? I do NOT need to add my feet to my pounds!!

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Aaron knew that I had some meatballs in the frig. When he came home today, he said, “Mom, what’s for supper? Is it some of that circle meat?” 

Must be similar to round steak!

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Aaron had a Celtic Thunder CD in the van that we were listening to. We were on number 7. Aaron always listens to every song on every CD, from the very beginning to the very end, no matter if he (or ME!!) likes the songs or not. We have quite a few Celtic Thunder CDs, but only one was in the van at the time Aaron decided to play it. However, he remembered that we have all those other CDs, so today on our way to his doctor appointment, he walked out of the house carrying all our Celtic Thunder CDs.

When we got in the van, I turned on the current CD…the one on number 7 and not nearly finished…but he promptly took it out of the player.

“Aaron!” I said, “why did you do that?”

No comment as he bent way over his CDs, reading the back of each one. And I…who am smarter than your average bear…knew exactly what he was doing. He was arranging the CDs in listening order based on the year that each CD was made, beginning with the earliest and going to the latest.

“Aaron,” I tried again. “I really liked song number 7. I wanted to keep listening to that CD.”

Still no comment as Aaron opened a CD box, took out the CD, and put it in the player. I sighed and huffed, but he took no notice.

“Aaron,” I finally asked, “how did you decide which order to use for Celtic Thunder?”

“From the years went by,” he simply answered.

He never disappoints. But I still like song number 7 on that other CD, even if it isn’t in the right order!! 😃 😃

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I was complimenting Aaron last night on the fact that he’s been happy and more compliant lately. I told him that he’s even been getting out of bed nicely on the mornings that he sleeps a little later. His reply?

“When I wake up in the morning, I expect myself to get up!”

And again, I learn from Aaron – and I laugh, too. 😁❤️

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Aaron, listening to a song as we drove home from his day group:

“Mom, are they kinda a rock team?” 😎😅🖤🎼🎶🥁

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Aaron is really, really wanting to get flowers for some of his staff.

“Mom,” he begged, “I just want to get ONE! Not the WHOLE set!”

😂🌹💐

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I took Aaron to his yearly eye exam today. God bless Aaron’s eye doctor. Next week I’ll be saying, “God bless Aaron’s dental hygienist,” but today all blessings go his eye doctor and to the staff. Oh, Aaron isn’t mean. He just has a very difficult time understanding what the doctor needs from him…..how to express what he is seeing or not seeing clearly…..opening his eyes wide…..not leaning back from every instrument that comes toward his eyes…..things like that. There was one very funny interchange, though, during the exam. You know how the doctor wants you to tell which lens helps you to see the letters on the wall the clearest.

Dr. Nelson: Aaron, is number one better? Or number two?

Aaron: Number one.

Dr. Nelson: OK. Now which is better? Number three, or number four?

Aaron: Number one.

Dr. Nelson: Let’s try again. Number three, or number four?

Aaron: The first one.

Dr. Nelson: You mean number three….here…..or number four…..here.

Aaron: Number one.

Dr. Nelson: Let’s try these. Number five, or number six.

Aaron: The first one.

Dr. Nelson: Let’s try number seven…..

Aaron: Number one.

Dr. Nelson: OK, let’s not do numbers anymore. Is this one better, or this one better?

Aaron: Number one.

HaHaHaHa!!!!!! How I wanted to belly laugh!! I do believe that number one was the winner, don’t you??!! 😎😵🤣

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Aaron just now: “Mom, you know how some people are like, half Indian? Well, is Dad half country?” Where does he come up with this stuff? How do I answer these questions? And when I laugh, he just stands there and looks at me, still waiting for the answer. Cracks me up!

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Aaron is placing his order for his weekend snack bag – a bag of snacks that he gets on Friday based on good behavior and attendance at his day group. Of course, if I was a fly on the wall at his day group, his snack bag might contain fewer goodies. 🤨

Anyway, this morning he wanted to be sure once again that I was clear about one particular request.

“Mom, can I have those circle Reese’s with a wrapper?” 😍

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Aaron and I were in the waiting room at the eye doctor yesterday when in walked a nun dressed in her habit from head to toe. Now some of you remember that Aaron has had conversations with us about nuns he sees when he is out with his day group, like the nun he saw at the mall. We finally figured out that the person he was describing was a nun, so we asked him if she was alone. “No,” Aaron answered. “She had her children with her.” Ummmm…..OK.

So yesterday I didn’t know what Aaron might say about this nun as she stood there at the front desk checking in. I was wondering how long I could hold my breath and was hoping that tickling Aaron’s back would make him keep his head down so he wouldn’t notice her. But he looked up and saw her, and just stared at her as she finished checking in and then walked over to the bathroom.

His only comment: “Mom, she’s wearing a hood. She must work for the church!”

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Aaron is stronger today, feeling better and happy to be talking more. Last night I cleaned his outer ears with a Q-tip, so this morning he had to tell me something. “Mom! Last night you made my throat tickle when you used that ear stick.” I hope I’m nearby if he tries telling one of his doctors about this home remedy.

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Aaron couldn’t go with me to pick out a Father’s Day card for Gary, so I got one that has a Superman logo on the front.

“Superman?” Aaron asked. “That’s weird.”

 I told him it wasn’t weird and to sign the card, which he did, very formally as usual. The first signature was “fancy,” as he says, and the second one was “regular.” Then I told him to put the word “Dad” on the envelope, but of course that word is too regular, so he put Gary Moore on the envelope.

 We told Gary to come upstairs and while he walked up the stairs, I coached Aaron on what to say when he handed Gary the card. “Aaron, say ‘Happy Father’s Day!’ ” I told him. “Say Happy Father’s Day?” Aaron asked. “That’s weird!” So of course, Aaron just handed Gary the card with a very sentimental, “Here!”

 Then he proceeded to point out that he had written Gary Moore on the envelope, all the while laughing at his little joke. So, I’ll say Happy Father’s Day, Gary. If I only had this past week on which to base what kind of Dad you are, it would be enough to say that you are a great Dad. And that’s not weird. ♥

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Aaron woke up this morning to find a little blood on his pillow, so he thinks he had a bloody nose. “Mom, when I woke up, I was sleeping on top of my nose!” That would explain it.

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Aaron wasn’t happy with his weight at his doctor visit last week, so today he came home and said, “I don’t want to be at — so I bought some Twizzlers and checked the back for the fatness and the sugar.”

 He held up a bag and so I asked if that was the bag he bought. “No, this is the second bag. I already ate the first one.”

 Let’s talk about portion control next.

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Today Aaron had an appointment with his Epileptologist. I call it Doctor Visit, Take Two.

Aaron was very drowsy after taking his morning meds. In fact, so drowsy that I told him as we entered the exam room to just sit in the chair, not up on the exam table. But NOOOO, Aaron thinks that one MUST sit on the exam table when in the exam room. Silly Mom.

The nurse had come in the room and had begun asking me questions about Aaron’s meds and dosages. Aaron, in the meantime, stood facing the exam table.

Nurse: So Aaron is on ——-?

Me: Yes. Aaron, do not climb on the table. Turn and SIT on it.

Nurse: And what is his dosage of ——-?

Me: 200 mg. in the morning and 200 mg. at night. Aaron, why are you climbing on the table? Turn and SIT on it.

But it was too late. Aaron was now on the exam table on all fours, his rear end where his face should be, with nowhere to go on that small, narrow table. More like a dog at the vet.

Nurse: (Unaffected) And is he taking ——-?

Me: Yes. Aaron, be careful! What are you doing?!

Aaron was now slowly turning around, still on all fours, and crumpling the paper that covered the table.

Nurse: Aaron is also taking ——-?

Me: Yes. 1,000 mg. in the morning and 2,000 mg. at night. Aaron, for crying out loud, would you please just sit down the right way?!

Nurse: (Still unaffected) So he’s still taking ——-?

Me: Yes, 1 mg. at night.

Aaron was now sideways on the table, shoes kicked off, mission almost accomplished. And I was laughing, really laughing, at this whole scene……which Aaron thought was pretty cool, because at least silly mom wasn’t upset in a mad way.

  Aaron then got fully turned around so now his face was finally where his rear had been, and he decided to sit Indian style on the exam table.

Nurse: Any anxiety?

Me: Aaron or ME???!!!

Nurse finally smiled as she left the room.

WAIT!! No exam??!!

🤣

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‘Til next time. Have a very Happy and Thankful Thanksgiving!

My Choice

Well, I can tell you right now that this blog subject won’t be what some people think it’s going to be.  I just realized how this title sounds as I typed it.  Hmmmm…

Anyway, let me pop some bubbles right at the beginning by sharing this sign that is hanging directly above my quiet time/study desk where I sit nearly every morning, coffee in hand and Bible open.

It reminds me that every day I have a choice to make.  Throughout my day I can choose how I will allow the events of the day to affect me. 

And no single person creates more events in my life than Aaron.

In one sole day you might very well find me laughing, crying, yelling, sighing, worrying, cringing, thanking, guessing….

That’s just the condensed version.

 Last week on our Wal-Mart shopping trip, Aaron took off at a fast trot to go check out the candy and nut aisle.  

“Don’t run!” was all I managed to remind him before he was out of earshot.  

I hurriedly completed my shopping.  I then took off at my own fast trot to see what was occurring on aisle 20.

I rounded the corner to this scene.

Add blushing to the list above.

There sat Aaron cross-legged on the floor as he searched the very bottom shelf for something.  Red Hots, I soon learned.  Beside him he had stashed jelly beans, peanuts, and cashews that he hoped I would buy for him.  Also beside him was a very kind associate named, very appropriately, Joy.  

Joy had found Aaron sitting on the floor.  Being concerned, she walked to Aaron and asked if he needed help.  Boy, was Aaron glad to see her!  Usually when he needs (or just thinks he needs) help, he barges toward an associate and pretty much yells, “HEY!!”  

I’m usually found nearby, or a few steps behind, hissing, “AARON!  Don’t say HEY!!  It’s rude!”

By this time, said associate is typically a mix of alarmed and annoyed which soon is replaced by amused. Maybe more amused by the look on my face rather than by Aaron’s?  Very likely.

Back to the candy aisle.  Joy soon found Red Hots up on the very top shelf, which gave Aaron much joy.

Me too.  Oh, my joy didn’t come from the Red Hots.  My joy came from Aaron being so unabashedly Aaron. Aaron’s going to do what Aaron’s going to do, no matter how many times I correct and redirect and follow him around hissing out instructions that he mostly ignores.  

I thought it was just the most perfect thing that this very sweet associate’s name is Joy.  I do believe that God was smiling.  

And again, I was too.  Others around us were very understanding as they waited or turned around.  Aaron has lots of lessons to teach everyone around him, like it or not.

I posted a little piece about this on Facebook and our neighbor across the street sent me this picture.

Here’s what she said:  “Seeing your Facebook post about Aaron sitting on the floor in Wal-Mart reminded me that I took this the other day.  He was excited to come tell me something.  He really does bring joy.  It’s always fun to hear what he’s going to say!”

Aren’t we very blessed?  Our neighbors all around us are great with Aaron.  

I thanked Gina for being so good to listen to Aaron.  I also reminded her that because of this, Aaron will just keep going over.  HaHa!

Well, we had lots of joy going on and it was really sweet.  I was reminded of this verse:

            “A joyful heart is good medicine…”.  (Proverbs 17:22)

And that’s a very good thing because I know my blood pressure was getting somewhat high on Aisle 20.    

Not Your Average Dog

I just wanted to share some smiles from our Grand-Dog.  Most of my Facebook friends have seen these pictures at some point but I wanted to share them on my blog as well.

Siggy is a beautiful and feisty Husky that our daughter and son-in-law rescued.  He is full of life and mischievousness. 

But his most amazing “skill” is this:

Can you spot him?

Yes, he climbs this tree in their back yard, determined to one day catch a squirrel.

He’s so funny! 

Never a dull moment with Siggy!

Oddballs

I want to start this blog by sharing with you a picture I took recently. 

OK.  You might be wondering what on earth these little balls are and why they are worthy of a picture.

Let me begin to explain by showing you another picture.

Many of you might recognize that this second picture is a bowl of Good and Plenty candies.  Aaron loves Good and Plentys.  He always pours his treats into a bowl and eats them one by one, usually while he sits in his favorite chair as we watch a show at night.

One recent morning I walked through the family room and saw little balls on the shelf of the end table beside Aaron’s chair.  I knew right away what they were.  Those little balls in that first picture are Good and Plenty candies.

BUT those little round candies are not oblong shaped as good Good and Plenty candy should be.  Therefore, to Aaron, they are unacceptable. 

They are oddballs.

And oddball candy is not to be eaten, at least not by Aaron.

Same candy…different shape…not allowed.

I absolutely love seeing such tangible pictures of the fascinating way that Aaron’s mind works.  This is classic evidence of the structured world that Aaron desires. 

Classic autistic behavior.

Look how he even set the pink candy in its own place, not in the row with the white ones.  Again, order is important.

Aaron can usually control the structure in his world when it involves food, silverware, blankets on his bed, when to turn the television off at precisely the correct moment, watching the credits at the end of a show, and on and on.

Unfortunately, Aaron’s desire that his world be carefully monitored for his own personal satisfaction runs into a problem.  The problem is that living breathing people with feelings don’t always fit into Aaron’s normal.

In other words, people can be like those defective candies. 

Oddballs.

But Aaron cannot set human beings aside into neat little rows when they don’t fit into his definition of acceptable.

He also cannot always keep his thoughts and frustrations about oddballs to himself.

Like the day years ago that he and I were eating lunch with someone Aaron didn’t remember, but she knew Aaron and was so excited to see him.  So excited that she kept leaning toward him to talk very happily with her exuberant voice and with her eyes very big. 

He finally leaned toward her from across the booth, opened his eyes as wide as he could, and exclaimed, “DON’T DO THIS!!!”

Oh dear.  I was so embarrassed.  This person works with special needs, and she understood, though she was taken aback.  But I knew that Aaron was getting very uncomfortable, so it was like watching a train building up steam before a wreck.

Then there was the time that we went with Aaron to parent night at his school.  He was to introduce us to each of his teachers.  At the last classroom, while waiting in the hall, we wondered why Aaron was beyond excited for us to meet this teacher.  We soon found out why.  She had a very pronounced spiked hairstyle, which Aaron found to be extremely interesting…odd, you might say.

“MOM!!  DAD!!  This is ______.  She looks like a HEDGEHOG, doesn’t she?!”

Well, well.

Gary and I were humiliated (although Aaron had a point 😊).  We immediately corrected him, and the teacher was immediately angry with Aaron…and it was not the finest of our parenting moments.

We have our times here at home, too, when Aaron sees us for the oddballs we are to him and he lets us know it. 

When one of us is talking to Aaron about something more serious and we change the shape of our eyes: “DON’T SQUINT YOUR EYES!!”

When I was talking to him one day and made a stirring motion with my hand, which upset him.  I asked why.  “I just see things you do are weird.”

When I was singing funny and could tell he didn’t like it, so I told him I was just having some fun: “I don’t like your fun.”

When I sniff and he is afraid that I’m upset: “ARE YOU CRYING???”  He really can’t handle crying from other people, especially me.

There are many more examples that I could include, but you get the idea. 

And if you hang around Aaron long enough you have a very decent chance of becoming an oddball, too.

But don’t worry.  You will be in good company.

Aaron, after seeing a picture of Shakespeare: “Shakespeare didn’t dress perfectly.  He dressed weird!”

As for Einstein in another picture seen by Aaron: “He has WEIRD hair!”

Maybe being an oddball isn’t such a bad thing after all, right?

Aaron’s Talking Points #14

It’s been WAY too long since I shared some of Aaron’s funny sayings that I have saved from over the years. Hope you enjoy some smiles!

Aaron saw me again with my spots of make-up on today. He brightly said, “Hey, Miss Camouflage!!” I do believe that’s better, though, than when he told me that I looked like I wore clown make-up.

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Aaron (aka Mr. Talks-A-Lot) has been up for over an hour and joined me in the kitchen. He has lived up to his name as he’s sucked all the air out of the room with his non-stop talking. He’s talked about the atmosphere, movies, mushrooms, dog treats, beagles, sump pumps, washing machines, propane, frogs, and I don’t know what else because my brain is being fried. Too early for this!!!!

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Our son, Andrew, works for an NHRA Top Fuel drag racing team. Aaron, for the first time in his life, is now an avid drag racing fan. He never misses a run or a race. He’s even learning some of the lingo, and amazingly enough, some of the driver’s names.

One of the Funny Car drivers is JR Todd. Aaron was focused on the television screen during JR’s run the other day. When it was over, Aaron wasn’t sure how JR had done.

“So,” he asked, “how did Junior Todd do?” 😃😃

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Aaron, eating his last pancake: “After I eat this one, I’m stuffed.”

Nothing like planning ahead. 😄

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Geography 101 according to Aaron: “You know, Mom, there’s New York City and then there’s regular New York.”

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Aaron was playing a war game on his computer and yelled out, “Mom! East is left, right?” Uh………well……and so I tried to explain before he said with great resignation to just never mind. Time for a map study, if I dare.

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Aaron has a cold. To him this is a big deal – and he thinks it should be a big deal to us, too. He gives what seems like endless updates on the progress of his cold. Just now: “Mom, now my right nose is stopped up!!”

No word on the left nose yet – stay tuned.

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Autism 101: Literalism

I took Aaron to the doctor today. The nurse was taking his info, and so she was trying to kindly focus her questions toward Aaron.

Nurse: Aaron, can you spell your name?

Aaron: Yes.

Silence.

More silence.

Aaron, in his mind, had answered her question.

“Yes,” he thought. “I can spell my name. Silly woman.”

Then the nurse realized her mistake, as the doctor and I sat on the sidelines chuckling.

Aaron finally spelled his name when she rephrased her question.

Nurse: Will you spell your name for me, Aaron?

And he did.

Some days it’s so much fun to be on the sidelines, watching Aaron work his magic.

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Aaron, tonight at supper: Dad, can you pass the tomato ketchup?

Who on earth says, “tomato ketchup?”

Aaron does, that’s who!!

It’s what the label says, people! 🤣🤣🤣

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Aaron loves wearing his “long pants pajamas” – as he calls them and as opposed to his “short pants pajamas” – to bed at night, even in the summer. He struggles with making the change from long pants pajamas to short pants pajamas. He will also keep the same covers piled on his bed, including his weighted blanket, even while wearing his long pants pajamas in the summer.

Therefore, we often have the same conversation on many summer mornings, just as we did this morning when he first got out of bed and found me sitting on the patio.

Aaron: Mom, I wore my long pants pajamas to bed last night.

This as he stood there in his long pants pajamas, waiting for my response.

Me: Yes, Aaron, I see that you did.

Aaron: Well, now I sweated and they feel wet.

Me (trying to move further away): Aaron, you don’t need to wear your long pants pajamas when it’s summer. Now go shower.

I resumed my position when he left to take his shower.

Later, as I put the load in the washing machine that held his sweaty long pants pajamas, he watched me carefully.

Finally: Mom! Where are my sweating pajamas?!

EWWWWWW!!!!! 🥵🥵😝

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I just walked past Aaron with my hair still wet. “Mom, your hair ran into me and it’s wet!”

 Quick! Catch my hair! I need it today!

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I took Aaron to the lab this morning for routine blood work. The lab tech asked him if he had plans for today and he told her that we were going to Burger King for breakfast. Then she asked him what else he liked to eat at Burger King and he said, “I like their suppers and their lunches, too!”

Well, that about covers the entire menu, don’t you think?!

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Aaron’s had some seizures the past two nights. He woke up very hungry.

“Mom!! When I got out of bed, my stomach felt skinny!” 😃😃

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On our way home from Paradigm, Aaron and I finished listening to our Neil Diamond CD.

Me: So let’s listen to the Judds next.

Aaron: No! I want to listen to Oprah Whitney!

Holding laughter in, as I’ve said before, can’t be healthy – but I did it. I did not laugh.

I have no idea, but it sounds like we’ll be listening to a singing talk show maybe?

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Aaron likes to crack his knuckles. A couple days ago he hurt his hand, so tonight he said, “I noticed that I can’t crack my fingernails anymore! I’ve lost my talent for doing that.”

I really need to watch him more closely!

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Background:  I was jolted awake last night by sounds coming from Aaron’s room, magnified by the monitor we use to listen for seizures.  I finally got out of bed at 11:11 (Aaron appreciates time precision), went into Aaron’s room, and found him propped up in bed reading a Garfield book and chomping on a HUGE wad of bubble gum.  I was irritated as I told him to put the book up and go to bed while I held his trash can under his chin and made him spit out the gum.

Aaron walked into the kitchen this morning after taking his shower.

“Mom, I wrote in the steam on the mirror.  I wrote, Patty Repent.” 

And indeed, he did. 

🤣😂

Till next time!

Pharaoh Aaron

I see lots of people are putting up their Christmas trees and listening to Christmas music, and here I am just now finding a little time to write about Aaron’s Halloween.  Story of my life.  I’m usually a few days late and lots of dollars short!  😊

But I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to share about Aaron’s very happy day, so here goes.

About a month before Halloween and based on his ongoing up-and-down obsession with everything Egyptian and King Tut and pharaohs, he decided to browse through Amazon where he found a pharaoh costume.  We were easily talked into buying it and Aaron was over-the-moon excited at the thought of wearing it to his day group’s Halloween party.

The fact that Aaron would even wear this costume was a miracle.  He doesn’t like how unusual clothes feel on his body or the attention he gets from others if he dresses differently, but for some reason he was totally pumped about this costume.  Just look at him!

He did say he wanted people to bow to him so that might partly explain his enthusiasm.  We quickly nipped that idea in the bud, however…and also refused to give him a staff to carry.  Multiple scenes of forced homage played through our minds as we gave him a determined, “NO!”

Aaron was very excited about wearing his “uniform,” as he called it, on the morning of the party.  I wondered what people thought as I drove down our city’s main highway with a pharaoh in the front seat…especially one that kept rubbing his hands and fingers together the way our Pharaoh does.   😊

Aaron was pretty nervous, though, as we parked at Paradigm.  I had reminded him several times that everyone would love the costume and would make lots of comments, and that he needed to be nice.  Aaron doesn’t like such attention even though he does plenty to deserve attention that has nothing to do with dressing as a Pharaoh.

Just as soon as we got out of the van, there was one of his staff in the parking lot. 

“Aaron!” she exclaimed, “I LOVE your Pharaoh costume!  You look awesome!!”

“Shut up,” he softly replied.

And there we go, I thought. 

Another lecture from me and inside we went, with me more nervous about it all than Aaron at that point.

Aaron had said he only wanted to stay for a few minutes and then go back home with me.  But once inside, as he heard everyone’s excited comments about his costume, he started to relax and enjoy himself. 

He finally decided to stay for the party, so I eased out and drove home, fully expecting to soon get a call from him begging me to come pick him up.  But that didn’t happen!

Instead, when I picked him up later that afternoon, several of his friends came running to the van.  All of them said the same thing.

“Guess what?!” they said, “Aaron won first place in the costume contest!!!”

It was so touching!  There they were, most of them in their own costumes, genuinely thrilled that Aaron had been the one to win first place. 

If anyone wants to see some amazing examples of true friendship, come with me to Aaron’s day group and I can show you plenty.

Finally, Aaron made it to the van – a HUGE smile on his face. 

“MOM!!” he almost yelled, “I won FIRST place, and I got THREE dollars!!!” 

It may as well have been a million dollars.  To him, it was! 

And to me, there was no dollar amount that could be placed on the joy I felt to see him so happy, and to see his friends so happy FOR him.

But his happy day wasn’t quite over.  I had to pick up a few things at the grocery store.  I offered to take Aaron home to let him change first, but no, he wanted very much to go inside Dillon’s and show everyone his costume.  I, on the other hand, was more than a little hesitant to go inside with Pharaoh Aaron.  Regular Aaron attracts enough attention.  Pharaoh Aaron…well, that puts the “Wow, look at him!!” stares I knew we would be getting on a whole new and very high level.

But hey, I’ve learned to just smile and enjoy the ride as much as possible so off we went.  Pharaoh Aaron and I marched in the doors like it was just another day in ancient Egypt.

And yeah, we got plenty of looks.  Aaron laughed and rubbed his hands together all the way through the store.  He saw and talked to Jody first at customer service…then turned to see Harold at self-checkout bowing to him (absolutely perfect!!)…ran to the pharmacy where Marc and Greg and most of the staff laughed and where Marc talked to Pharaoh Aaron like always…then all the way across the store to the deli where Cassandra and Blake were appropriately impressed…

 He did hear several people say, “Good job!” or “You look great!”   But most of the time he was blissfully unaware of the many stares and huge smiles left in his wake.

But I was very aware, and so very happy that I had decided to let Pharaoh Aaron go with me into the store.  I imagine he brightened the day for lots of people. 

And for those who just stared at him as if he had landed on earth from Mars…silly people. 

I should turn Aaron loose on those people.  He could most definitely educate them on both Mars AND Pharaohs. 

There are no Pharaohs on Mars!

But we sure enjoyed our day here in Kansas with Pharaoh Aaron!

The Happy Uncle Aaron

Aaron has difficulty understanding family relationships.  He understands Mom and Dad, and brother and sister.  He struggles, though, with titles outside of our immediate family.  Sometimes his given titles for family members can be hilarious.  Such was the case when his sister, Andrea, was engaged to marry Kyle.  Aaron thought that Andrea would no longer be his sister, and this thought was intolerable to him.  One day we tried, yet again, to explain that he would not lose his sister but would instead gain a brother. 

“Well, I don’t NEED a Grandbrother!!” he angrily declared.

We waited to laugh until Aaron had left the room.

Other times, Aaron’s descriptions of family relationships can be suspicious.  This happened one recent evening as Aaron was trying to tell me something about Kyle.  You know…Kyle.  Aaron’s Grandbrother.

“Kyle,” Aaron said, “who lives with Andrea.  Dad said he’s the brother-in-law.”

“He is to you,” I replied.

“So Kyle,” Aaron continued, “Andrea’s father…..”

“No!” I interjected, “he’s her husband.”

“So Kyle,” he began again, “Andrea’s father-in-law….”

Please, if Aaron is ever trying to explain our family to you, come to us for clarification before you ever repeat what you think you have learned.

But Aaron’s new position as UNCLE Aaron has taken root in Aaron’s mind.  I’m still not sure he grasps exactly why he is the uncle, which is based on the fact that he is Andrea’s brother and as such then he is automatically the uncle of their soon-to-be born baby boy.  All of this gets pretty complicated to him.

Yet he has taken on the mantle of The Uncle as if it is his new designated title…something like The Duke or The Earl. 

Aaron is The Uncle.

Here is a typical conversation that Aaron might have with people.  Literally, with anyone he encounters, even strangers. 

“My sister is having a BABY!” he exuberantly declares.  “And I’m The UNCLE!!”

He makes this declaration loudly while bending over, rapidly rubbing his hands together, and grinning as broadly as he can possibly grin.

To say it’s surprising to all these random recipients is putting it mildly.  Yet it’s also endearing and precious.  Most folks respond with a huge smile and congratulations.  Bless them.

Time for me to insert a couple pictures taken last week when I was in Texas for Andrea’s baby shower.  😊

As you can see, the time is getting closer for Baby Boy to arrive.

And it seems that Aaron is getting a little nervous about what is expected from him in his new role as The Uncle.

“I’m not sure I want to be The Uncle,” he sometimes says.

“I’m scared to be The Uncle,” he has also said.

“I don’t know what to do as The Uncle,” he adds.

We assure him that being The Uncle simply means that his job will be to play with Baby Boy.  To love him.  To read to his nephew.

Oh wait.  We haven’t used that term yet…nephew.  Let’s not push these concepts too far.

After Andrea sent us her latest sonogram pictures, I shared them with Aaron.  He especially loved seeing Baby Boy’s foot…

And his hand.

Not long after, as we talked to our neighbor, Aaron remembered what he had seen.

“Andrea sent more pictures of the baby and I saw his hand and his foot!!” he very excitedly said.

“Oh Aaron,” Amanda replied.  “That’s so wonderful!”

“YES!!” he declared as he bent over and rubbed his own hands together.  “And now I’m HAPPY to be The UNCLE.”

There was that grin, huge and so cute!

Aaron will most assuredly have his fluctuations about all this business of his new title, The Uncle, being bestowed upon him.  As long as he continues to talk to us about his feelings then all should be well.

And most assuredly, he will continue to do just that. 

A Donut With a Side of Autism

Yesterday our friend, Karlea, tagged me in a FB post from our nearby donut shop.  Paradise Donuts was reminding all their customers that it was National Donut Day, and that they were giving everyone a FREE donut.  Karlea just knew that Aaron would love stopping in for a donut.  Soon I was explaining National Donut Day to Aaron, asking him if he wanted to stop on our way to his day group for a donut.  YAY!!

NOT yay.

I must backtrack a bit to explain.  Nearly every day at Paradigm (Aaron’s day group), Antoine or another staff will take Aaron to the nearby QuikTrip.  I send money with Aaron, and he is able to buy something to eat and drink.  He absolutely loves this small outing.  His QuikTrip visit is ingrained into his routine now.

Back to yesterday.

Me:  Aaron, today is National Donut Day.  Paradise Donuts is giving away a free donut to everyone that comes in.  Would you like to stop there on our way to Paradigm?  We can get a free donut!

Aaron:  No.

Me:  What?  You don’t want a donut?  A FREE donut?!

Aaron (a little more emphatically):  No!

Me:  Why don’t you want a donut?

Aaron:  I want to go to QuikTrip.

Me:  I’m still sending money and you can still go to QuikTrip.

Aaron:  I like Antoine taking me to QuikTrip for food.

Me:  Antoine will still take you to QuikTrip for food. 

Aaron:  I like QuikTrip food, NOT a donut!

Me:  But you like donuts.  Just a few days ago you were happy that we stopped to get donuts.

Aaron:  I like Antoine taking me to QuikTrip more than you taking me for a donut!

These conversations usually lead to personal insults as Aaron attempts to drive home the fact that on Paradigm days…almost always…QuikTrip is what he does and where he goes for food and fun. 

Nothing will deter him from his routine. 

Not even a donut.

Not with Mom.

I dropped it like a hot donut and took Aaron to Paradigm.

Later, when I picked Aaron up, he told me about his day.

Aaron:  Mom, they had donuts at Paradigm for donut day.

Me:  Oh, that’s fun!  Did you eat one?

Aaron:  No.

Me:  You didn’t eat a donut?!

Aaron:  No.

Me:  Why not?!

Aaron:  I didn’t want one.  I wanted to go to QuikTrip.

I decided to just drop it.  Aaron didn’t see me shaking my head.

After a few moments of silence:

Aaron:  Antoine took me to QuikTrip!

Me:  Good!  What did you buy today?

Aaron:  I bought two donuts.

There are not enough letter combinations in the English alphabet for me to form enough words to voice what I was thinking and feeling and wanting to say at that moment.

Just as well.

Laughter is far better than lectures during these times.

BUT I WANT A DONUT!!!!!