Aaron is nearing one week of living in his new group home. He has done amazingly well. Yes, he has asked if he could come home to stay. On Friday he called early to tell me that he didn’t want to go to his day group. He wanted someone to come and stay with him there. I told him he couldn’t do that and he was not very happy about that reality. But the wonderful house staff as well as the staff at his day group helped work him through it and he had a good day.
Our sweet neighbors went to visit him yesterday afternoon. Aaron was so surprised and happy. Today our daughter and her family went to see Aaron. He was super excited about that. Ryker and Cora got to see Unkie Aaron and his new room. Aaron was able to do his favorite thing – sharing snacks with Ryker and Cora.
Thursday Aaron and I went to deliver for Meals on Wheels. He got to tell all our dear clients about his new house. We went to WalMart and out to lunch. Aaron was happy that Dad joined us.
Back at home, he got one of Dad’s great haircuts and shaves, I trimmed his nails, and we watched Hudson and Rex.
When Aaron had gotten in the car that morning, the first thing he asked was if he could stay at home and not go back to his group home. But by the time his show was over, he was ready to go back to his new room and to see Victoria. We were so relieved and so very proud of Aaron!
Yet there are glimpses of sadness that he shows us as he adjusts to missing us and missing his home, his old life, his friends here in the neighborhood and in the stores we have frequented for years.
We got Aaron a phone and on the first day he had it a friend showed him how to FaceTime before we could do that. He’s loving it! He and I were on FaceTime last night.
“Mom,” he said. “You look old, like an old lady.”
Good old honest Aaron.
“Well,” I said as I laughed, “I am old, Aaron.”
“I wish you were young,” he flatly added. “Then I wouldn’t have to be here.”
That was a gut punch for me.
You see, for a couple years we have been trying to prepare Aaron for the fact that someday he would need to move. He didn’t like talking about that and would ask us why we would make him leave. One reason we gave him was that we were not getting any younger and wouldn’t always be able to care for him.
He knows how to touch the deep places in our hearts without really planning to do that. He’s just very honest with what he’s seeing and thinking.
And that one…that really hit hard.
I stumbled around saying something that I hoped was encouraging as I blinked back tears I didn’t want him to see.
I realize how fragile I am. Aaron, too. And Gary’s been hurting in a way that’s new to him.
He told me that even though we’ve known for all these years about Aaron’s handicap, now we see it differently and more clearly than ever. We see it in a way that shows how vulnerable Aaron is and how this huge change has rocked his stability and his comfort.
We feel responsible for that, but we also knew that this was a decision that would ultimately need to be made one day. It’s just that we’ve made sure Aaron was well cared for in every way for nearly 42 years. Now he sees us as being the reason he had to move and leave us and everything he loves.
That’s a heart wrenching load to carry right now. We know that all these feelings will ease with time for us, and we pray they ease for Aaron as well.
He really is happy where he is and we are very pleased with his progress this week.
But we can’t turn off our love for him and our concern that he knows we have not abandoned him. We have shown him perhaps in the greatest way ever how deep our love is for him as we have given him a future that won’t depend on us being around forever.
He’ll probably never fully understand that until the time we’re all together in heaven.
And guess what, Aaron?
I won’t ever be an old lady again!
He Said What?! 
What incredibly loving parents you are. Aaron is lucky indeed to have you. Aaron will adjust and so will you. It was so wise of you to place him in such a wonderful place while you help him adapt. Love to all of you.
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Thank you, Cindy. We show love in many different ways, don’t we? Tough love like this is hard. Friends like you encourage us SO much! Love and blessings to you today.
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Aaron really is making good progress but change is hard. You and Gary are adjusting as is Aaron. As far as transitions go, Aaron has really done well, in answer to prayer. Lifting you and Gary up as you also navigate a difficult transition.
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Your prayers are a gift and we thank you!
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My honor!
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As you said previously Aaron has a way with words. In Heaven we will be forever young!
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Aaron sometimes says what I wish I could, haha! But he can get by with it. And yes, being forever young will be heavenly, right? Thanks for reading!
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Transitions can be so difficult to navigate, can’t they, and yet it seems to be there are treasures to be found along the way — for you two, and for Aaron. 😊🙏🏻💖
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Yes, transitions are difficult, especially for ones like Aaron. And the treasures are there, beautiful and precious for all of us. Thank you for reading, Heather!
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Continuing to think of you all and lift you up in prayer for peace that passes understanding.
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God is giving us that peace. Thank you for praying!
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More tears here as I empathize with the emotional pain of this transition for you, Gary, and Aaron. But praise God he is adjusting, the staff are doing a stellar job of helping him through the process, family and friends are also supporting him, and he is actually happy!
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The first week is behind us and we are very thankful for how well he is doing. Your prayers are a blessing to us, Nancy.
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I think it is great how you all are helping him with the adjustment as it helps you both too. Him making that adjustment if it was sudden, not planned for, and without that support would be much harder!
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Yes, if this move was made under a tragedy of some kind then it would have been horrible for Aaron. God was so good to open this door for us when He did.
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Patty, I praise the Lord that Aaron is doing so well! I know it has to be very hard on you and Gary, but God loves Aaron, too.
It is a very good thing that Aaron is so open with you about how he is feeling. I know of a child who is really struggling right now, but no one knows what is going on in her mind. She is closed off from all those who love her. Our prayer is that she will share her feelings with someone so we can help her.
That’s one of the good things about people with autism. They are honest and can be blunt! That can be a good thing! You don’t have to guess about how he is feeling. God bless you and Aaron and your whole family as you walk through this challenging time. God is faithful!! 🙏
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I’m so sorry about that child you know who is struggling but is closed off from those who love her. I pray that she will share her feelings, like you said. Thank you for your care for her, and for our Aaron. You are a blessing, Cindy!
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Thank you, Patty. Blessings!
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Aaron has been blessed with wonderfully devoted parents. He may hurt, but you both hurt more. I will pray that as your family transitions, you continue to have uplifting moments of discovery, like FaceTime. God bless you all. 🙂
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Nancy, your prayers are making a huge difference and I thank you.
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You’re welcome, Patty. 🙏
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