Another Unkie Aaron Update

It’s been a minute since I wrote an update on Unkie Aaron and his “boy nephew,” as he calls Ryker.  And now we happily include his “girl niece.” 

And “Unkie” is still what Ryker calls Aaron…adorably so.

But first I want to begin with an object lesson from this morning.  Aaron asked me to help him straighten his stuffed animals after he got out of bed, and while I was at it to also help him get his covers in order. 

Aaron loves his Christmas blankets and wants to still have them on his bed.  He and I got his layers of sheets and blankets all straightened up just so.  He is very particular about their placement and careful to get as many wrinkles out as possible.  If I ignore this importance in Aaron’s life, I will pay with his frustration that often turns into full-blown anger.  But if I show him that I value his emphasis on what to me seems minor, his contentment is well worth the interruption that helping him has caused me. 

Sometimes this aspect of autism is very hard to remember and to value.  After all these years I still find myself rolling my eyes, sighing, and expecting Aaron to think as I think. 

Silly me.

We have had our precious grandchildren over to our house more often lately due to our son-in-law’s work schedule.  Initially, this arrangement did not go well with Aaron. 

It’s easy for us to want to say, “For crying out loud, what’s not to like?!”

Until we take a deep breath and think like Aaron thinks…or at least try to think like Aaron.

Aaron doesn’t like his routine and schedule to be disrupted any more than he likes his sheets and blankets to be jumbled and wrinkled.  A three-year-old and a one-year-old are, to Aaron, major wrinkles in his otherwise (mostly smooth) life at home.

Aaron doesn’t understand that they don’t understand what he wants and likes and needs.  It’s an enormous leap for Aaron to comprehend that Ryker thinks like a three-year-old.  Aaron has no idea what that even means. 

We can’t pick and choose what areas of Aaron’s life are affected by his autistic mind.  Every single corner of Aaron’s world is colored by how he thinks and feels and reacts, as is all of ours.

We’ve had bursts of anger from Aaron and some very trying situations. 

But we have also recently had a long stretch of Aaron looking forward to their visits. 

Aaron has been a fun buddy to Ryker more than he has been a grumpy Unkie. 

They have played fun games.

Eaten fun food.

Shot nerf guns together.

And Aaron loves for Ryker to join him in his nighttime routine of listening to sounds and watching videos of his “animal of the day.”

Aaron still examines Cora as if she is an unusual little creature to watch and learn about.

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And little Cora looks at him the same way.  We got such a kick out of her trying to mimic some of Aaron’s hand gestures.

Aaron loves to give her toys to play with, including some of our little garden creatures.

Our home is certainly not typical in many ways but in many other ways the uniqueness that Aaron brings, I do believe, will grow and shape Ryker and Cora into people who will have an innate understanding of special persons like Unkie Aaron.

They may someday be straightening Aaron’s sheets and covers while not being one bit surprised at how important this is to their Unkie Aaron.

And this ability taught to them by their Unkie Aaron will be a very rare and precious gift.

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Author: Patty hesaidwhatks

I'm Patty and I write about our adult son who has Epilepsy and Autism, who still lives with my husband and me, and who is a package full of many surprises and joys and challenges and TALK! Lots of talking, which creates laughter and some other reactions as well. I also write about how God shows Himself to me in everyday life.

13 thoughts on “Another Unkie Aaron Update”

  2. Agreed, Patty. Growing up with Unkie Aaron will give Ryker and Cora an enhanced understanding of those unlike themselves, and thoughtful ways to love them. Who knows how God might use the lessons they learn from their observations and interactions with Aaron!

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  4. AMEN! A great gift, indeed! I wish that every teacher everywhere, and every parent who has a child with autism, received your posts. First, for the Godly message you share. And second, because of your understanding about autism, which is amazing. God bless you and your sweet family, Patty! 🤗

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  5. Thank you for this. It’s precious that you can look beyond the moment when Aaron is frustrated and into the future of how God can use these things for good in the lives of your beautiful grandchildren.
    We also live with our adult son, who was tested for Autism as a young child. He’s not autistic, but has a communication disorder as well as some unnamed slow growth disorder which has always given him the appearance of being years below his age. Everything for him took longer to learn and he spent most of his childhood being bullied or treated like he was “special”. I don’t think of those things now. He’s a young adult with a small lawn care business which affords him the ability to focus on illustration, his gift and passion. Reading about your Aaron brought back so many memories. Our son used to have to have his shoes a certain way, his toys a certain way. Thank you for your transparency. May the Lord continue to grant you the ability to think like Aaron and the joy which comes from walking in your calling with gratitude. God bless you.

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      1. Yes! Many, many prayers answered in his life. He still struggles with communication and deals with people misunderstanding him frequently. His heart is gentle and most of his clients are elderly people who need help with their yards. He gets along with them very well and truly cares about them. Like your Aaron, God is using him in unexpected ways.

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      3. I just wanted to add how your journey with Aaron is such a beautiful reminder that every life is precious to God, for He created each one, and although we rarely have the perspective He does, it’s a wonderful opportunity to see how God loves through you loving Aaron.

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  6. There’s so much of this that reminds me of our dynamic with Brother (or Uncle( Jeff. My kids are much older than Ryker and Cora, but as teens boy they LOVE the unique treasure of having an Uncle Jeff. So do my much younger niece and nephew!!

    Also Jeff (too) has to have his bed made daily, JUST RIGHT, or else….And he has loads of stuffed animals perfectly placed on top, including a stuffed snake he named Tisha. Sometimes if he wants to rally up the kids he wears the colorful snake around his neck instead.

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