Uncle Aaron, The Nephew, and The Bear

Our crowd from Texas all arrived safely in three different stages on Monday night.  What a relief to have them all here at last!

Except relief is not the word that Aaron would use to describe his feelings about this situation.  

His word choice would have been “dread.”  Dread mixed in with a little anger.

But Aaron reacts this way to any situation that threatens to up-end his ordered, predictable world.

Even on the day the family was to arrive, Aaron was still letting us know that he did not want to be Uncle Aaron and he did not want to have a nephew. 

He was asleep when the last travelers arrived at 10:30, with Ryker (the nephew) in tow.  Poor little Ryker was tired of traveling and scared of all the sudden new surroundings until he was able to finally stretch his legs and do some exploring.  Then there was no stopping him!

Ryker was awake early the next morning, and so was Aaron.  Aaron walked in the room where Ryker was staying.  Andrea had just changed his diaper.  I saw Aaron’s eyes dart to Ryker but then quickly look away.

“There’s Ryker, Aaron,” I softly said.

But Aaron was very nervous, and I knew not to push.  Aaron focused solely on Andrea.  He began talking about and showing her the box for his new Batman game.  He was in his comfort zone, and it was best to leave him there.

Andrea and I went downstairs with Ryker, where Aaron soon followed, still focusing only on Andrea as he talked about games and movies…anything but “The Nephew.”  Ryker just looked at Aaron, certainly intrigued, but Aaron still refused to acknowledge his presence.

After some time, Aaron thumped back up two flights of stairs to his bedroom.  Soon we heard him coming down again.  I thought that Aaron would have a new game box to show Andrea.  

But no.  Instead, he was carrying a stuffed bear.

This wasn’t just any stuffed bear.  34 years ago, while we lived in Germany, our third child was born…Andrew.  Aaron was five years old, and he did not welcome his tiny little brother into the world.  Instead, he was uncomfortable around baby Andrew and kept his sullen distance when they visited us in the hospital.  We attributed it to normal adjustments that many children have with a new sibling.  

When we brought Andrew home from the hospital, we were concerned about how Aaron would react to his brother actually living with us.  As soon as we walked inside, Aaron looked at us and then ran back to his room.  Soon he returned carrying his favorite stuffed bear, given to him when he was born. 

“Here,” he said as he held his bear out to us.  “Andrew can have this.”

That was his way of accepting his new brother.  And for the rest of his years at home, that bear was Andrew’s bear. 

Andrew grew up and moved away.  The bear was in his closet.  One day, Aaron saw the bear and asked if he could have it.  Andrew, of course, said yes.  So, for all these years that special bear has been Aaron’s bear again.

Over this past year we have watched 39-year-old Uncle Aaron exhibit the same unaccepting behavior toward his new baby nephew as he had shown toward his new brother.  

But then…

Aaron held the bear out toward Ryker.

“Here,” he said to Andrea, “Ryker can have this.”

I was blown away as my mind wrapped around the significance of this moment.

I was taken back all those years ago to our military quarters in Germany, little Aaron handing his favorite bear to Andrew.  And now handing that very significant bear to The Nephew.  To Ryker.

I could never have orchestrated a sweeter, more meaningful way for Aaron to show his acceptance of Ryker.

Oh, thank you Lord!  

And thanks to all of you have prayed over this past year for Aaron to accept and love Ryker.  All of you have a part in the miracle we have seen over the past three days.  

Aaron has been sharing food and toys and stuffed animals with his nephew. 

But nothing he shares can surpass that first thing he shared…the little brown stuffed bear with such a story to tell of love and acceptance.

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Author: Patty hesaidwhatks

I'm Patty and I write about our adult son who has Epilepsy and Autism, who still lives with my husband and me, and who is a package full of many surprises and joys and challenges and TALK! Lots of talking, which creates laughter and some other reactions as well. I also write about how God shows Himself to me in everyday life.

37 thoughts on “Uncle Aaron, The Nephew, and The Bear”

  4. Praise the Lord Patty! What a sweet outcome to the ongoing saga of Uncle Aaron! The best part is that no one could have imagined or planned this better than God. It is as if in the poker game of life, God every so often tips His hand so we can see His cards, and He gives us a glimpse at the wisdom of His plan.

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  5. The love given to Aaron has come full circle. He receives the stuffed bear as a baby and gifts Andrew not only with the bear but full acceptance. Now for the new generation, Ryker, the love symbolized by the bear continues. Love always wins, no matter the difficulties! Thanks for sharing. Patty. God’s love for all us shown by answered prayer.

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  6. Oh my word! Did you cry while writing this? I’m crying happy tears while reading!! Bless the LORD Almighty for this uniquely special gift of love and acceptance. Way to go Uncle Aaron! Look how happy you made Ryker. Patty, I’m so thrilled (and admittedly relieved!) for you and your family! Praise to God!

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  8. Oh my goodness Patty! This made me cry happy tear. In the excitement about your daughter moving closer to you, I had completely forgotten about Aaron’s reticence at being an uncle. I’m so glad that Ryker and Aaron will be able to grow together with a bear gluing them together. The picture of Ryker looking up at Aaron is absolutely precious.

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  10. Patty, that is a precious moment indeed. This moved me to tears of joy as that bear symbolizes Grace. Aaron gives unconditional love and His best to “the nephew” like God reaching to earth and saying, “Here you can have Jesus.”

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  11. Had to read this as soon as I saw the title in my inbox. Praise God that Aaron warmed up to Ryker so quickly! I have a feeling they’re going to become best-buds. God certainly has answered our prayers!

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  17. Well said! Patty, you have painted a beautiful portrait of the struggle Aaron has had and his genuine, though tentative, acceptance of Ryker. God has moved in this situation and given Aaron the comfort he needs to show inclusion to his nephew.

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