The Thanks I Get?

Yesterday Aaron and I delivered roses to his day group friends at Paradigm.  Our local Dillon’s store and our sweet friend Jody organize this special treat every year. The smiles and excitement are so much fun to see.  

Last night Aaron was cleaning out the bag he takes to Paradigm.  He came running into the kitchen holding…something.

“MOM!” he excitedly said, “this is for you!”

He held out…this.

“Victoria wanted me to give you this to say thanks for the rose today!” he explained.

It was so hard not to laugh.  

This…was an old, mangled, broken candy cane, complete with food crumbs stuck in the open spots.

Now, I know Aaron and I know with a fair degree of certainty that Victoria did NOT send me that worn out candy cane.  Aaron found it in the bottom of his messy bag and impulsively came up with what he thought was a solid story whereupon he could gift me with…this. 

Aaron’s love language is giving gifts.  

He just needs a little work sometimes on the choice of gifts he gives.

We’ve been having some rough times with Aaron.  He’s been struggling with some things that make him respond with anger toward us.  

A trait of autism is a focus on oneself because they want their world to operate in the order that gives them peace.  Interruptions to that order can cause lots of anger, taken out on me and Gary at home.

Then there’s the care that Aaron requires on so many levels, care that often ties us down and intrudes upon the way we sometimes want OUR world to go.

I’m not complaining and I hope I don’t sound selfish.  These are just the facts.  Parents of children are caregivers, and having our adult Aaron still with us is like having a child still at home.  Special needs then compound the situation a lot!

It’s easy to get mired down in the daily and to feel like all I do for Aaron is unrecognized by him, which is often true.  

Like I’m left holding onto more broken when I’ve had enough, thank you.

But one morning I was especially encouraged when I read the words of Nehemiah 5:19:

“Remember me with favor, O my God, for all that I have done for this people.”

Caregiving is so often self-sacrificing, but it’s a walk of life that honors God.  I don’t always have the right attitude, and I have anger issues sometimes, too.  

Yet so many times, during the mundane or dirty work, when I am tired and feeling very unappreciated, I remember that I am remembered. 

I am remembered by God.  He sees me.  

And everything I do, I really am to do for Him.

There are many of us working day after day after day to care for someone in our lives.  We are not on a public stage, sought after and held in high esteem.

But we are noticed by God, whom Hebrews tells us will not forget our work and labor of love we have shown for Him by helping His people.

And this…this is a promise I can hold on to when the serving is hard.  

It’s like the biggest and best thanks ever!

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Author: Patty hesaidwhatks

I'm Patty and I write about our adult son who has Epilepsy and Autism, who still lives with my husband and me, and who is a package full of many surprises and joys and challenges and TALK! Lots of talking, which creates laughter and some other reactions as well. I also write about how God shows Himself to me in everyday life.

14 thoughts on “The Thanks I Get?”

  3. Yes indeed, God sees; yes indeed, God will reward. And I’m certain it’s going to be something extra-wonderful! You are a God-honoring care-giver, Patty–even when discouragement wants to bring you down. You still carry on, doing what needs doing. That alone is HUGE.

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    1. Thank you, Nancy. God does give grace every day and His mercies are new every morning. It’s funny how we have categories for what serving the Lord looks like, but so often we don’t include the nitty gritty of our service to our families. Knowing I am serving God foremost is sometimes what keeps me going.

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  4. Doing it for the least of these – yes He knows! When I worked with a group of special needs adults, it was the most rewarding and yet, hardest thing trying to keep them all on a similar page. All ages, and varied types of things they were dealing with. It was the caregivers to me that made the difference. They do know at some level, deep down even when it doesn’t show, just how much love and care is spent on and with them. It is tough and its usually taken out on those they love and who love them the most.
    One day and moment at a time. ~ Rosie

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    1. Bless you, Rosie, for working with our special needs adults. Not everyone can do that, for sure. It’s very challenging. I’m so thankful for those who do have that calling and that understanding. I stand in Aaron’s day group and am just amazed at the variety of needs and how much it takes to work with them. God bless them!

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      1. It was I who received the blessings, little did I know I would need some of that basic care and be on the receiving end – not easy on either side. It helped by using what they taught me when it was a struggle for even the simplest daily life activities. Hives you a new perspective on the world and people around you.

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  5. Patty, I have been reading your posts for a few years now. I appreciate each time you share the struggles of caring for an adult child you also share how God meets you there in those struggles. Many times it is from His Word which you are faithful to go to yourself and point your readers to as well. Thank you and may God continue to uplift you and renew your strength. Hugs! 🤗

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