Aaron decided to watch some basketball with me on Sunday. I was very surprised by this because he doesn’t really like basketball. I think he just wanted an excuse to sit on his chair, cover his legs in his favorite blanket, and eat tons of peanuts while he carefully crunched the peanut shells in his peanut bowl. But he was happy, so I was happy.
Until I got excited and started acting weird……….according to Aaron. I mean, this is the person (Aaron is) who yells and has ear-splitting claps, as well as various other strange noises and phrases……and he’s telling me I’M weird? My friends who call me on the phone can vouch for who the weird one is in this house. On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t go there. But they can hear Aaron in the background with all of his loud noises. Sometimes it sounds like we live in a zoo!
Back to the game. I don’t remember if it was when I enthusiastically said, “All right!” or when I semi-yelled, “Woo-Hoo!” that I heard Aaron say, “I can’t wait to tell Barb what my Mom has done on Sunday.” Barb is one of the managers at Paradigm, and Aaron adores her.
I looked over at Aaron and asked, “What are you telling Barb that I have done?”
“You’re acting weird,” he replied. “I will tell Barb that you’re acting weird.”
I laughed, and then informed Aaron that I was NOT acting weird.
“Yes you are, Miss Woman Who Talks Weird,” he answered.
OK, so now Aaron had given me a title. That means that he is bothered. It’s his way of telling me that he is bothered……Miss Woman Who Talks Weird.
Soon it was time for a commercial break during the game. The announcer said, “We’ll come back after these words.”
“My mom has weird words,” Aaron flatly said as he crunched open another peanut.
I just ignored him, but I wanted to laugh……….as I so often do.
There on the screen then was a trailer for the next Batman movie that’s coming out. This caught Aaron’s attention, so he stopped mid-peanut and stared at the television. Hoping to get his attention away from Miss Woman Who Talks Weird, I said, “Look at that! A new Batman movie! Would you like to see it, Aaron?”
He answered, “I don’t know if I want to see it, Miss Weird Voice Lady.”
Oh, a second name. This was getting more serious. If a first name doesn’t work, and Miss Woman Who Talks Weird is still talking weird, than a second name is in order.
Miss Weird Voice Lady just smiled, and tried to curtail her weirdness. But it was a tight game and weird things happen during close games like that.
“Dad?” Aaron said, “Mom says weird stuff. Like woo-hoo.”
He said it so flatly, with no emotion, that it sounded extra funny. Not WOO-HOO!…….. but for Aaron just woo-hoo.
However, laughing at Aaron would have brought out more frustration from him, so Gary and I just chuckled behind Aaron’s back like the good parents that we are…….woo-hoo.
Soon Aaron set aside his peanuts and his peanut bowl full of crushed shells. He was ready to quit watching basketball. He had seen enough basketball and heard enough weirdness from Miss Weird Voice Lady……….or was it Miss Woman Who Talks Weird?
“Aren’t you going to watch more basketball, Aaron?” I asked as he got up to leave.
“No,” he said. “Basketball is not my favorite, Miss Weird Voice Lady.”
And he thumped up the stairs to his quiet room and away from Miss Weird Voice Lady.
Two nights ago, Aaron and I were watching a show. At the very end of the program the dad was be-bopping around as a one-man band for his daughter’s birthday party. Sure enough, Aaron reacted.
“Stop it!” he said. “He’s quite weird!”
Oh brother! Not again with the weird business. This time I gathered MY things up and left the room.