Category: Devotional

My Tug of War

Two or three weeks ago, on a Sunday, I was having one of those days when my mind kept going to some incidents in our past…….hurtful, unresolved affairs that I find myself dwelling upon  more often than I should.  Much in the same way that I need to redirect Aaron on a bad day, I find myself at these times in need of redirection.  But when it’s me trying to redirect me, it just sometimes doesn’t work out so well.  If I’m not careful, I will become mired in my negative thoughts and in re-living all the events and feelings once again.   All the hurt and pain come bubbling up to the surface, not benefiting me one bit and not at all what the Lord wants me to be doing. 

On this particular Sunday, as soon as my mind started down that familiar path, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart in such a clear way that it was almost as if I heard an audible voice.  He spoke God’s Word to me……..one simple verse that happens to be my mother’s favorite verse.  “Be still, and know that I am God.”  (Psalm 46:10a)  This verse kept going through my mind on that early Sunday afternoon.  As soon as I could, I went to the desk where I keep my Bible and my study books.  I looked up the word “still” and I was very blessed by what I found. 

I know that my NIV Bible says, “Cease striving and know that I am God.”  That’s a correct translation of the phrase “be still.”  But what I saw first as I looked in my concordance under “still” was the word “slacken.”  Instantly my mind went to the game I played many times on the playground at Knob Elementary School when I was a young girl.  We would take a rope and choose teams, and then play Tug of War.  We loved that game!  Each of us would take the rope and then pull with all our might against the pulling of the opposite team.  We were determined to win, and the only way to do it was to keep pulling and tugging.  Letting go or letting up was not an option if we wanted the victory.


The tug of war I find myself in now, though, is quite different than the game I played as a child.  I am actually in a tug of war with God whenever I pick up that rope of my hurts, curl my fingers around the rough rope, and beginning pulling.  But there is no winning for me as I pull with all my might.  The more I think of my hurts, the harder I pull on that rope……….and in the process, the more defeated I am actually becoming.   God is on the other side of the rope, holding on with all His power………just waiting for me to slacken my end…….to quit struggling and pulling in this losing game.

In my Bible I have a note by Psalm 46:10.  I have written: “Take your hands off.”  Yes, there it is again…….that reminder to slacken the rope……….to loosen my grip…….to take my hands off.  And there is God, on the other side of the rope, waiting to pull me to Himself and to take me in His arms, reminding me of His might and His love. 

I wish I learned these lessons the first time, but I don’t.  I may slacken my grip on my thoughts and let God take over, but don’t you know it’s not long before I repeat the process…………over and over again.  Every time I start reviewing those hurts, I am picking up the rope.  Every time I start worrying about my children, I have bent over and am putting that rope in my hands.  Every time I become focused on the culture and the political climate, worrying about where it will all lead, I am curling my fingers once again around that rope.  Every time I question why God isn’t seeming to answer my prayers, I am jamming my feet into the ground and getting ready to pull.

What God wants me to do, however, is just the opposite.  When the worries and the thoughts and the hurts crowd my brain, and I bend over to pick up that rope, He wants me to instead just let it slacken.  Ease my grip, let the rope fall, and run to Him in prayer and reading His Word and dwelling on Who I know that He is. 

This verse says, “Be still (slacken that rope!) and know that I am God.”  That’s all.  Know that He is God.  That’s all I need to know………and that’s plenty, if I really stop to think about it.  In the knowing comes the trusting, because I do know that He can be trusted with all my worries and hurts and pains.  It’s time for me to put that trust into daily practice……..to slacken my hold on that rope………to take my hands off……..and let God win. 

And in the long run, when God wins, I win.  Every time.  

Day By Day

My last blog was about the meltdown that Aaron and I both had last week.  Wednesday evening was not a time that I want to re-live.  I’m very thankful for the fact that Aaron and I  have been able to move beyond it.  I’m amazed at both his ability to act like nothing ever happened, and his inability to stop the impulsive behaviors that cause him so much anguish. 

On Thursday, the day after all the mess, Aaron didn’t want to go to Paradigm.  Whenever he has a significant incident,  he doesn’t want to face the people or the place right away.  I know this about Aaron so it didn’t surprise me at all that he didn’t want to go to his day group.  I also know better than to try to force him to go.  He calmed down on that morning when he realized that I wasn’t going to make him go, even as he promised that on Friday he would go to Paradigm.  He and I went to our optometry clinic, where they tried to repair Aaron’s glasses but couldn’t.  However, they were able to order new frames under warranty so there won’t be any charge.  This was the beginning of a day of blessings.

Aaron was fairly somber that morning, so I took that opportunity to talk to him again about his actions that sometimes get him in trouble.  As we began to talk, he asked, “What is my problem?  What do I do?”  He wanted to know what it is that he does that causes him such trouble with others at times.  His honest question surprised me.  I told him about the way that he likes to poke, pinch, and hit others.  Aaron thinks that this is funny, but no one else likes it.  Or they may tolerate it for awhile but then erupt in fury, such as happened the day before. 

Aaron listened, and then told me that he had talked to Melinda, one of the staff, about how he likes to hit and poke people.  He said, “I told Melinda that I think it’s fun.  Tomorrow I’m going to tell her that it’s not fun to me.”  There it was…………another glimpse into Aaron’s mind.  He really wants to be able to make himself quit thinking that this behavior is fun.  He rationalizes that if he tells Melinda it’s not fun, then maybe it really won’t be fun to him…….and maybe he can stop himself from this annoying behavior.  This will be easier said than done for Aaron, I know, but for then I encouraged him to keep on thinking this way. 

I had plans on that day to meet my good friend, Atha, for lunch.  I can leave Aaron for a period of time and so I decided to go ahead with our lunch date.  However, I still felt very tired from the bad time the night before.  I knew that time with Atha would be good for me, though, and so I looked forward to lunch.  I got a text from Atha that morning telling me that she had invited her friend, Joyce, to join us for lunch.  I wasn’t sure I was up for that, but off I went to eat lunch with my friend and to try to summon the energy to meet someone new. 

As we ate lunch and as I was getting acquainted with Joyce, I learned that she was widowed last year………but that God had brought a wonderful man into her life and she was going to marry him right after Christmas this year.  The three of us women, of differing ages and situations, shared stories and laughter and yes, tears, as we ate our lunch.  I was relaxing and I was thankful that I had come, and that I was getting to meet this sweet woman with a story of her own pain and joy.  I sat there fully aware that somehow God had ordained this day.  Another blessing was mine in that Applebee’s booth.

I heard my phone jingle, signaling me that I had a text.  I looked quickly to see what it was, and saw that Barb from Paradigm had sent me a message.  She told me that the staff had met, and that they had some plans concerning Aaron.  A therapy dog had been approved, so they were going to start the process of finding a puppy for Aaron and the other clients to love and enjoy.  They are going to set up a safe mulch area for Aaron so he can have some mulch time in which to calm himself.  They plan to schedule staff for small outings that Aaron might enjoy more than some of the big outings………like taking him and Rosie for walks at the YMCA.  She ended by saying, “We love him and we won’t give up on him!!”  Tears slid down my cheeks as I read the message to Atha and Joyce.  A third blessing!

As I was getting to know Joyce, I learned that she was an accomplished pianist and accompanist.  I told her that I would love to hear her play someday.  As our lunch ended, Joyce asked Atha and I if we would come to her house so that she could show us her newly painted peachy pink garage.  I told Joyce that I would come if she would play her piano for me, which she happily agreed to do.  But then Atha said that I must sing…..and I was not so sure.  I haven’t sung in several years and though I wanted to sing that day, I wasn’t sure if I could or if I would just stand there and cry. 

But there I stood by Joyce’s piano, after we had seen the peachy pink garage and been given a tour of her home……..and I held a hymnal and I sang parts of two hymns as Joyce so beautifully accompanied me.  It was a personally significant moment for me on several levels.  I didn’t cry, but I was deeply touched by God’s gift of this moment for me.  He knew that I wasn’t sure I wanted to meet someone new on this day.  He knew that I was tired and discouraged.  But He orchestrated this day for me……and for Joyce…..and for Atha.  It was no mistake that Joyce had called Atha that morning, lonely and wanting to see her.  It was no mistake that Atha and I already had plans on this day after my meltdown with Aaron…….and that I was very tired and in need of encouragement.   God prompted Atha to invite Joyce to lunch, and each of us was especially blessed because Atha obeyed.  God brought smiles and joy and some healing to each of us on that day, in just the ways that we needed.  A fourth beautiful blessing!

The last song I sang that afternoon was Day by Day.  This song so well describes our day by day with Aaron.

Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find, to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
He whose heart is kind beyond all measure
Gives unto each day what He deems best.
Lovingly, it’s part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Every day the Lord Himself is near me,
With a special mercy for each hour;
All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me.
He whose name is Counselor and Power.
The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
“As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”
This the pledge to me He made.

Help me then in every tribulation
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord.
That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation
Offered me within Thy holy Word.
Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
Ere to take , as from a Father’s hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till I reach the promised land.

The perfect words to end a perfect afternoon.

Lessons From the Garden Shoes

We had finally received some much needed rain here in this very dry and hot Kansas summer.  It was more than just a few disappointing drops, too.  We actually had enough rain to drip off the leaves on the trees and in our flower and vegetable gardens.  Enough rain that I had a reprieve from my watering duties and could let nature do her work for a few days.  Enough to more than just settle the dust – we actually had some mud amongst the vegetables.  The cooler temperature, the damp smell of the earth, and the grass greening up a little were all very welcome to every two and four legged creature around as well as to every struggling plant. 

I allowed a couple days to go by after the rains before I walked out to the vegetable garden to check on things there.  Sure enough, the rain had done her good work.  I stood there looking at the cucumbers, squash, and okra that needed to be picked.  Then I looked at the soil, still dark and wet from the recent moisture.  I slipped on my garden shoes and decided to give it a try.  Stepping over the wire fence, I gingerly put my weight down on the soil as I stood inside the garden.  Not too bad, I thought, and so I walked carefully over to the cucumbers to pick the ones that were plump and ripe.  Next, the squash – not many there but a few.  Time for the okra, in the very back of the garden.  As I walked I noticed that the garden was muddier than I thought.  “Well, I’m already in here,” I reasoned, and so I continued on.  It can’t be that bad.  But with each step I noticed that my shoes were feeling heavier and heavier with the buildup of mud, and I could see my footprints that I was leaving behind in the soft soil.  I told myself that I would get out soon, after I picked the okra, and so I trudged on through the mud.  When I finally stepped back out onto the grass, the bottoms of my shoes were covered in mud that needed to be cleaned off.  There was no mistaking where I had been, and the mark that my decision left on my shoes was messy and ugly indeed. 


Our lives are full of decisions in so many areas.  Many times the way that we should go is very clear and other times we’re just not sure.  Whether it’s an actual place or event, or if it’s an attitude of the heart, our prayer should be as David’s was in Psalm 143:8 when he said, “……teach me the way in which I should walk.”  Before we realize the danger, we can easily step over that fence and venture out into the messy areas of life or thoughts that will only mire us down.  What may have even appeared to be right or to be justified soon turns into a trap that weighs us down.  Wrong friendships or relationships; ungodly entertainments and activities; carnal or impure thoughts – all will leave a residue in our lives that builds up until finally we are having to bear the consequences of our decisions.  Our friends and family can without doubt be able to tell where we have been because the effects are so evident in our lives and in our attitudes.  Thankfully, God will clean us up as we ask for His forgiveness but often we will still bear the messy marks of our decisions.  So the next time we stand at that fence in our lives and have some decisions to make, may we say with the prophet in Hosea 14:9:  “…….for the ways of the Lord are right and the righteous will walk in them.”  Show us Your ways as we seek Your face, Lord, and keep us from venturing out into the muddy messes that are all around us.


What a Day May Hold

Yesterday morning I was able to sit out on our patio for a few minutes before the rush of the day started.  It was such a beautiful morning!  The sun was bright, the moisture sparkled like small diamonds on each stalk of grass, the birds were chirping and happy, and the flowers were stunning in the sunshine.  I only wished that I could have stayed outside longer, soaking up the beauty of the morning.

Today was a far different story.  We had several periods of heavy rain along with some storms that came through.  The scene out on the patio was entirely changed.  The sun was hidden by the thick rain clouds, the moisture came beating down in sheets of rain, the birds were nowhere to be seen or heard, and the flowers were bowing under the weight of the rain.  It was not a morning to stay outside on the patio at all because the wind was blowing the rain onto the place where just yesterday I had sat in peace and beauty.  I was quickly driven inside by the pouring rain.


Isn’t that just like life?  One day we’re enjoying peace and beauty.  Things are going along smoothly and happily…………life is good.  Yet how quickly the scene of our lives can change!  How rapidly things can go from good to bad!  We’ve all experienced it in one form or another.  I thought of Aaron this week.  He went to bed Monday night just being typical Aaron, and within a few hours he was having hard, scary seizures.  Thankfully, he’s fine now……but it was another reminder of how quickly our lives can change.

I know several friends who are facing the imminent death of someone dear to them.  I know of some who are dealing with chronic illnesses, either their own or sadly watching someone they love  who struggles daily.  I know of some who are facing financial hardships and have had to make very difficult decisions.  We never know if we’re going to go to work one day and get a promotion or a pink slip.  I know of parents who are struggling with a child who isn’t living their life in ways that honor God.  I know of those who are living in pain because of unresolved hurts, broken friendships, ruined marriages, and having to start over in various ways.

I also know that the God Who sends the sunshine is also the same God Who sends the rain.  We need them both……..the sun and the storms.  It may be easier to trust God during the pretty days, but it’s absolutely vital to trust Him in the rainy times as well.  He’s the same God on both days and He can be trusted the same.  To do less would be to doubt His very character…….His love and His faithfulness. 

God has a plan to grow us and to bless us, and it takes both sun and rain to accomplish that plan.  Most of the time we won’t see the complete picture until we’re with Him, and then we’ll understand it fully.  But when we put the pictures side by side, we’ll know His plan and we’ll see His love.











For now, we trust and we thank God every day for what He allows in our lives.  He is faithful in the sunlight and He is faithful in the storm. 

Lessons From the Little Salvia

In my front flower bed that runs along our sidewalk, I have two Purple Salvia plants that have grown there for several years.  Being perennials, they return every year to please us with their pretty purple flowers.  However, I have noticed for a couple years that they are quite different from one another in their size.  The one on the left of the bush that separates them is large and full.  The salvia on the right is much smaller. 

This spring I watched them and saw that the same thing was happening.  In fact, I wasn’t sure for awhile that the salvia on the right was even going to make its appearance.  One day, though, I saw little green salvia shoots that were pushing through the soil and the faded mulch.  It seemed to take forever for any significant growth to emerge.  Yet there it came, slowly pushing upward from the soil. 

I watched the process continue.  The poor little salvia was faithfully staying alive, but its sluggish growth could not be compared to the rapid, beautiful growth of its fellow salvia.  The small salvia was just no comparison to its large companion.  Seeing them nearly side by side, only separated by a small bush, only exaggerated their differences.  The one salvia was full and healthy, exhibiting such pretty blooms that attracted bees and our attention alike.  The other……….well, it was so puny and small that I stood one day staring down at it in pity………pondering whether I should just pull up the pathetic thing and plant a whole new salvia there. 

But something stopped me from replacing the struggling little flower with a new one.  I saw that even though the growth was stunted, it was at least still growing.  This slight salvia was persistent, not surrendering……….so how could I give up and just yank it from the ground and replace it with one that I deemed more beautiful?  And as the days progressed, so did this meager salvia continue to grow.  Then one day I saw them……the petite beginnings of blooms!  Not only was my tiny salvia living, but now it showed the promise of flowering.  Sure enough, it did just that.  One morning I walked over to my little plant and found pretty purple blooms.  How exciting! 

Oh, if I stepped back and compared the two plants to one another, the left salvia was still far more lovely……….all showy and bright.  It was indeed an eye-catcher, whereas the right salvia was puny and unimpressive.  Yet it was the lesser of the two plants that taught me the most.  I realize that the ups and downs of my life…..and probably yours as well……can often be compared to that small little salvia.

Sometimes we are that salvia on the left……….full of life and vitality in every area.  We are effective and bright, useful in the lives of many people as we see the evidence of our gifts being used. But then comes a time when we find our effectiveness seemingly dwindled down to a bare minimum.  For whatever the reason, we see ourselves and our service being replaced by others who shine brighter now.  We have become that salvia on the right……..smaller and struggling……yet not without hope, because there is still life!

So do you feel rather small today?  Do you feel stuck in the corner or put on the back burner, while nearby there are those who are full of usefulness and beauty?  It’s OK!  God loves small!  He brings us to these lesser times in our lives in order to teach us some very valuable lessons. 

Moses went from the palace to the desert; Daniel went from royalty to the lion’s den; David went from the king’s side to hiding in a dark cave; Job went from wealth to a time of unimaginable loss; Paul went from prestige to prison.  And the most important example is Jesus Himself.  Jesus did not think that his position as the Son of God was something to be grasped, so He took upon Himself the form of a servant (Philippians 2:5-8). 

Jesus……the Son of God…….royalty indeed……was born to a little virgin girl from the dismal town of Nazareth.  Jesus……born in a dirty cave with animals all around and a trough for a bed.  Jesus……..taken by Joseph and Mary to live in Egypt for several years of anonymity.  Jesus……then raised back in Nazareth, that town of no reputation.  Jesus…….a humble carpenter by trade.  He walked the dusty roads and ministered to the least of these, not garnering a huge and faithful following…….but faithfully following the call of His Father.  And He willingly suffered the most humiliating death of all……..the death that even Roman criminals were not made to endure………..the cross.  A death so awful that it was performed outside the city.  Jesus…….taking upon Himself our sin and being forsaken by God as he suffered our punishment.  And then He walked out of that tomb, alive and victorious!

Jesus humbled Himself, and so He often asks us, in our walk with Him, to be humbled.  There are so many lessons to be learned during the time of smallness in our lives.  It is often a prolonged time as God speaks to us and teaches us the particular things that He has ordered just for us.  Yet what a time of growth it can be, if we don’t become impatient at the slowness of our progress.  Just wait, and one day you will see a bloom…….a flower……..the promise of usefulness still ahead.  Don’t compare yourself to the others who seem to be so much more beautiful and useful than you.  Thrive in the place where God has put you, and bloom in the way that He has allowed.

I’m so thankful that I didn’t pull up and toss away my scant and unimpressive salvia, for from that little meager plant I have once again learned a huge lesson!

Do You Know Shiphrah and Puah?

If you had asked me this past Saturday who Shiphrah and Puah are, I would have responded, “Uh………you know, as familiar as those names sound, I’m just not remembering Shiphrah and Puah right now.”  Perhaps some of you know of these two women, but I would have drawn a blank.  Not now, though.  Yesterday’s message at church from Exodus 1 reintroduced me to these two women, and I’m very thankful for that privilege.
For a little background, the people of Israel had traveled to Egypt under the rule of Joseph.  Jacob’s family grew and grew, filling the land of Egypt and becoming mighty.  All the original Israelites had died, including Jacob and Joseph, as well as the Pharaoh who knew and loved Joseph.  A new king arose over Egypt who did not know Joseph.  This king became fearful of the numbers of Israelites who lived in the land, thinking that if there was war then the Israelites would join with the enemy and overtake Egypt.  Therefore, this king made the Israelites become slaves……….but the more he afflicted the people of Israel, the more they multiplied and spread out.
Seeing that Plan A wasn’t working, this Pharaoh moved on to Plan B.  He ordered the Hebrew midwives to kill all the boy babies that were born, thinking that this barbaric form of birth control would limit the growth of the Israelites and thus eventually rid Egypt of the Jews.  This is where Shiphrah and Puah come in.  They were midwives……….probably two chief midwives.  Pharaoh instructed them to kill the boy babies that were born to the Israelite women but to keep the girl babies alive.  Simple enough, right?
But Pharaoh didn’t count on one complication.  Exodus 1:17 says, “BUT the midwives feared God…….”  This fear of God forced Shiphrah and Puah to make a decision.  Verse 17 continues, “……….and did not do as the King of Egypt had commanded them, but let the boys live.”  So sure enough, Pharaoh found out that Shiphrah and Puah were not killing baby Israelite boys………and he called these two midwives to come in for a little meeting.
I don’t know how Shiphrah and Puah felt at this point, but I imagine they were more than a little scared.  This is Pharaoh, who had no qualms about killing innocent baby boys and other Israelites as well.  From everything that was going on around him………….everything that he had initiated concerning the Jews…………..this Pharaoh seems more than a tad bit brutal.  I wish we knew all that was said at this appearance before Pharaoh.  I love thinking of the bravery of Shiphrah and Puah!  Yet it goes far beyond being brave.
Shiphrah and Puah were obedient to God, first and foremost.  I imagine that they feared Pharaoh………..but they feared God more.  This is the fear of God that involves reverence OF Him, and trust IN Him.  It’s the fear of God that Peter and the apostles had when they were given strict orders by the authorities not to teach about Jesus anymore………and Peter answered in Acts 5:29, “We must obey God rather than men.”
So back to Egypt.   I had never paid much attention to the fact that in verses 20 and 21, God lets us know that He was “good to the midwives.”  Verse 21 clearly says that “…….because the midwives feared God, that He established households for them.”  God blessed them and was good to them because of their obedience.
I really like Shiphrah and Puah.  I love the example they have set for me…………an example that is both profound and yet very simple.  Obedience to God comes first, in every single area of my life.  Obedience takes many different forms for each of us, but in whatever area that God is requiring obedience to Him, it’s best to obey.  Solomon said it so well in Ecclesiastes 8:12, “Although a sinner does evil a hundred times and may lengthen his life, still I know that it will be well for those who fear God – who fear Him openly.”
Shiphrah and Puah probably wondered if they would have their heads cut off……….or worse………..as they stood before the king and declared their loyalty to God.  I don’t know what my obedience to God will cost me, but obey I must.  I do know that God promises it will be well for me if I obey.  His blessings take various forms, and some we won’t see until eternity.  But we can take God at His word and know that it will be well for us when we fear Him, and fear Him openly.
Shiphrah and Puah are amazing!  Not because they were women, or because they stood up to mean old Pharaoh, or because they saved babies………all of which are important…….but they are amazing because they obeyed God above anyone and anything.  That’s the kind of amazing I want to be, every day, through good and bad.  Whatever the pressure……whatever the decision………whatever the pain……….whatever the outcome………

 

Fearing and obeying God!

SURRENDER

Have you ever found yourself in a place in your life where you never thought you would be found?  Sometimes it’s very dramatic, such as receiving an overnight medical diagnosis or facing the sudden death of someone you love.  Other times it’s a slow occurrence of situations that pile up but yet inevitably bring you to that place………that place you never imagined yourself having to face.  Many times, no one except our family or closest friends even know that we are in that place.  Their prayers and their love are invaluable, yes, but still we may feel alone.
 
Over the past five years, I have faced the loss of some things that I love.  As I talked to a good friend last night, the word that came to me was the word “adrift.”  I feel, and many of our friends feel, adrift……….not certain of where we will land……….trying to find our moorings…….just hanging on some days.

This morning, as I have been reading and studying the book of Matthew, I found myself in chapter 26.  Reading this scripture, and then the Gospel of Matthew expositional commentary by James Montgomery Boice, challenged and blessed me in the way that I truly needed today.  Sandwiched between two terrible acts of betrayal………the plotting of the chief priest and elders against Jesus, as well as the treachery of Judas…………is the tender story of Mary and her sacrificial love for Jesus.

This Mary is the sister of Martha and Lazarus, and is the one who was always sitting at Jesus’ feet.  She sat at Jesus’ feet and got to know Him as she listened to Him and talked to Him and worshipped Him.  Here she was, not far away from the time that she would watch her Master die a brutal death, and for one last time she approached Jesus with her final gift.  John and Mark also tell us that Mary broke the vial that she was carrying and out of it she poured a very expensive perfume, or oil, on Jesus’ head and then on His feet. Mary understood even more than the disciples about what was to soon take place.  She gave this most important gift of hers to Jesus as an expression of her love for Him, and of thankfulness for His gift soon to be hers as He would die on the cross for her sins.

I’m sure that Mary shared the same uncertainty and fear that the disciples felt.  Their world was about to crumble.  Jesus was going to die.  He kept repeating that fact to all of them.  On one hand they had the corrupt, conniving chief priests and elders……and on the other hand, there was the thief Judas betraying their Lord for a mere few pieces of silver.  Christ’s followers were surrounded by hopelessness and evil from individuals, religious leaders, and the government.  In the midst of it all, Mary gave Jesus all that she had as an evidence to Him of her complete trust and devotion.  She didn’t ask for answers or reasons or direction or blessing.  She just broke her vial and gave all to Jesus.

So my thoughts today have been of the past few years and of how many parts of my life Jesus has whittled away while I’ve inwardly tried to hold on tight.  Even some seemingly good things…….some productive parts of my life………have been taken away.  I don’t necessarily understand it or like it or even approve of it.  But in it all, I know that Jesus wants me to sit at His feet and learn from Him.  He wants me to trust Him totally.  He wants me to break that vial that holds my valued treasures and pour them out for Him……….to be willing to let them go in an act of worship and obedience.  Without answers or reasons………just trust.

My tears may mingle with the perfume that I pour on Jesus’ feet, much as I imagine that Mary’s did, but the sweet smell of that sacrifice will bring honor to God and will bring peace to my heart.

All to Jesus I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Humbly at His feet I bow.
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now. 

LESSONS FROM THE ICE STORM

We’ve had a very cold spring, with periods of snow and ice that are not very welcome at all.  People here in Kansas have gardens to plant, and flowers to nurture, while the farmers are cautiously eyeing their wheat crops for damage.  A few weeks ago, in April, we had a threat of severe weather one day that lasted into the night. It was no surprise, then, when we went to bed and heard the distant sound of thunder and saw the sky fill with bright lightning.  But as the night wore on, I awakened to hear the unmistakable pinging sound of ice hitting the bedroom window.  All night long, as I drifted in and out of sleep, I was aware of the nearly constant sound of that cold wind blowing and the ice tapping on the window. 

The next morning, as soon as it was light enough to see outside, we were met with quite a surprise.  Everything was coated with a thick sheen of sparkling ice.  The ice was coating every limb and twig, every little bloom and every little blade of grass.  I went upstairs to open the bedroom blinds in order to get a good look at the back yard and was met with windows that were thickly sealed with ice.  The beautiful view of the back yard was totally blocked by the layer of ice.
 
It was amazing to step outside into the bright twinkle of the ice as it was hit by the sun’s rays.  As the day wore on, the warmth of the sun melted the ice. Soon the ice lost its cold grip on the limbs and the high electric wires, and came crashing down to the ground.  In a couple days, things seemed to return to normal.  We picked up some scattered small limbs in the front and side yard, and were thankful to not see any major damage.  However, a different story could be seen as we walked farther out in the back of our property.

There we found more damage than we could initially see from a distance.  Limbs were bowed down…….some were broken………and then even farther away we found an entire half of a tree that had completely broken off and fallen down.  All along the tree line we found large branches that were laying on the ground. The incessant ice that had fallen during that stormy night had piled up and taken a definite toll on many of our large bushes and trees. The longer the ice fell, the more damage that was inflicted. 

Just the other day, Gary and I took a walk around this same area.  We noticed some interesting things.  Some of the branches that had been bowing over with the weight of the ice were slowly regaining their former upright position.  Other limbs, though severely damaged, were growing new leaves and hanging on to the life that was provided to them from the main tree that was still firmly rooted.  There was life where we least expected to see it.  We were hopeful that some of the branches could be saved, and we were refreshed by the green signs of life that we saw.  Other areas, such as the large tree that had fallen, would forever bear the scar of this tragedy.

Sometimes we face prolonged storms in our lives.  We listen to the endless sound of falling ice and finally get up to find our view of life blocked by the cold effects of the situations around us.  And even when the sun comes out, and our circumstances improve, we realize that irreparable damage has been done.  The build-up of events and decisions has caused our lives to be forever changed.  Sometimes the damage can be corrected and the sagging limb will rebound.  Other times the damage is more permanent, and a scar will forever remain.
 
On-going trials can certainly wear us down.  It may be lengthy health issues, wayward children, recurrent temptations or the effects of yielding to sin, hurtful situations, those refusing to reconcile relationships……….so many areas of life are affected by icy storms that continue and that build up over time to the point of breaking.  Yet God is so merciful and so faithful, especially during those times when we are weary and are burdened.  
Listen to David in Psalm 66:8-12:  “Bless our God, O peoples, and sound His praise abroad. Who keeps us in life and does not allow our feet to slip.  For You have tried us, O God.  You have refined us as silver is refined.  You brought us into the net.  You laid an oppressive burden upon our loins.  You made men ride over our heads.  We went through fire and through water, yet You brought us out into a place of abundance.”

God will see us through the icy storm.  He will not allow our feet to slip.  He directs the storms of our lives in order to refine us.  Yet He brings us to a place of abundance when the storm is over!  There is still life………there is still growth……there is still potential, no matter how deep the scars.  Sometimes it’s hard to move on beyond the hurt and the pain, but we must.  Step by step we move forward, and we find that one day we really can smile again and serve God again.  
  
And we can say, “Bless our God, and sound His praise!”  

Milk and Manure

I have never lived on a farm or on a ranch, so I won’t pretend to know much about the subjects of barns or cattle.  And this post has nothing to do with the fact that I have borne the nickname of Cow Patty for many years………thanks to an old song and a family with a wonderful collective sense of humor.  Even when I pick up prescriptions at our pharmacy, there in bold black letters on the paperwork stapled to my little bag are the first three letters of my last name…….MOO.  So I know that God also has a sense of humor.

I give you this history to explain that maybe this is why I first noticed a verse I found as I was reading one morning in Proverbs.  Proverbs 14:4, to be exact.  Now I know the verse uses the word “oxen”, but oxen are close cousins to cows………and I relate somehow to cows, as you read above.  I mean, even my daughter calls me “Moo.”  Seriously, she does………with respect.    Anyway, as I pondered this verse, the truth it taught jumped out at me even more than its bovine contents.  This verse says, “Where no oxen are, the manger is clean; But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox.”

I can imagine a pretty barn, much like this beautiful red barn not far from our house.  I have no idea what the inside of this barn is like, but I know that if a barn is full of cattle, there will inevitably be messes.  Some very big messes, if you know what I mean.  And there will be the hay and the dust and the tools and all the other implements necessary in order to raise these farm animals.  Now if you decided that you want a clean barn…….a clean barn all the time………then you’re going to have to get rid of the cows.  There’s just no other way around it, because where there are cows there are going to be piles…….of mess. 

So as this verse says………sure, when the cows are gone then the barn is clean.  BUT………where there are cows, there is revenue.  Whether the revenue is from milk or from meat……….or as in Bible days was also from the oxen pulling the plows in the fields…………you gotta have the cows if you want the cash. 

I love the note that is in my Bible in reference to this verse.  It says, “There is no milk without some manure.”  I love that word picture and the lesson that it teaches!  The note continues by saying, “Some disturbance is the price of growth and accomplishment.” 

You know what?  Life gets messy.  Marriage, children, friendships, even ministry………they all get messy sometimes.  I can live in a clean barn if I want……….protect myself from hurt by never putting myself out there and never letting myself get close to people or even my family.  I can choose to stay away from being a part of other’s lives in ministry by just sitting on the sidelines and refusing to get involved.  I can close my heart to God, citing examples of how His children aren’t even exempt from life’s crushing blows.  I can have the cleanest and most pristine barn on the block.  Clean……empty………silent……….lifeless.

Or I can choose to fill my barn with cattle and then get busy taking care of them, all the while cleaning up the messes while I pocket all the blessings that I will gather.  The blessings outweigh the messes anyway, in the long run.  Any follower of Jesus is going to suffer.  Jesus taught that and exampled that to us while on this earth.  His was not a secluded life free of conflict and hurt……and mine will not be, either. 

When I see the pile of mess, I need to thank God for it………..because each predicament means growth in my life.   I learn from it but I don’t leave it there……….and I certainly don’t wallow in it.  I do my best to clean it up………and what I can’t clean or others won’t let me clean, I give it to God for Him to handle. 

As much as I may sometimes want a clean barn, I really do relish the life and the activity of a barn full of cattle……….messy though they are.  But I’ll also have buckets of milk lining my barn, evidence of the life and the growth there……as well as the profit.   As I walk this earth and live this life, I know that I will have discouragements and great hurt along the way.  There will be messes that break my heart…………but that likewise cause me to grow and fill me with countless buckets of blessings! 
  
God’s keeping the books, and the profit I receive will be eternal and everlasting! 

Remember…………No Manure, No Milk!

MOO!

 *Thanks to Beth Hite for the pictures from Hite Farm and Faye Farm.


The Testimony of Katy

A few months ago, someone on Facebook sent me a friend request.  Her name is Kiki Davis (Katy) and I soon learned that she was the daughter of our college friends, Leroy and Cathy Davis.  As I read her posts and comments, I also learned that Katy had been away from the Lord but had recently given her life to Christ again.  I also learned, just a short time ago, that Katy had a serious blood disorder that prevented her body from being able to fight infections. 

Like I said, I didn’t know Katy well – but here is what I do know from the short time that Katy has been my friend.  I knew that she was very thrilled to be walking with the Lord again.  She posted many exuberant statuses about her love for God and her desire to be where – and what – He wanted her to be in every area of her life.  She admitted her weaknesses, her fears, her frustrations…………but also repeatedly gave these areas to God for Him to handle.  She felt that God was calling her to something great and she was stepping out in faith and in submission to fulfill this great calling that He had placed upon her. 

This morning God fulfilled His purpose for Katy.  He did call her to something great.  Early this morning, at 5:55, He called her to heaven.  I knew that Katy was in the hospital and that she was fighting pneumonia.  I didn’t know how very sick she really was.  Her body could not fight the infection and so she passed on into heaven this morning.  I was shocked to read the news.  But something soon came to my mind as I remembered how excited Katy was to realize that God had placed a call upon her life.   I’m fairly certain that she had no idea what that call would entail, but she was willing.  And I am also certain that in her death, many will be reminded of what it means to be God’s child and to be sure of that fact.   I’m sure that Katy would want all of us to know that we know that we know that we are ready to step out into the eternity that awaits each of us. 

And I think that Katy would want us to be willing to let God use us, even if it’s in death, to point us to what is important.  Only a life lived in and for Christ is of any value.  Katy knows that now more than ever!  Her life – and now her death – are a testimony to that truth.  Katy wanted to be a testimony and to give testimony.  She spoke of this often on Facebook.  Now she is a testimony that cannot be ignored, in a way that I’m sure she never dreamed she would be called to do.
 
I saw that Katy had posted these verses on Facebook on March 22.   “And this small and temporary trouble we suffer will bring us a tremendous and eternal glory, much greater than the trouble.  For we fix our attention, not on things that are seen, but on things that are unseen.  What can be seen lasts only for a time, but what cannot be seen lasts forever.”  (2 Corinthians 4:17-18  GNT)


Katy’s troubles and sufferings were temporary, and she had learned that lesson.  She knew that what can be seen and experienced on this earth lasts only for a time………and what cannot be seen lasts forever.  Now she is enjoying a tremendous and eternal glory!  My short time of knowing Katy has enriched me and she has been that testimony to me that she so wanted to be in this life.  I’m sure that she has been that same testimony to many others as well. 

Thank you, Katy, for letting God use you……….more than you knew and in a way that you probably never expected.   Now bask in God’s glory on this Easter!