A Ruined Heart

I’ve written before about the special relationship Aaron has with Carl, one of our Meals on Wheels clients.  Carl has taken a special liking to Aaron and loves to give him things.  Sometimes Carl will even give me a small gift like a flower from his yard, or a picture. 

Carl loves to see Aaron’s delight and Aaron loves BEING delighted.  Carl asked me once if he was doing too much.   I told him that he doesn’t need to give Aaron things every week.   Yet most weeks Carl does have a little something for Aaron.

Today Aaron took a bag of dog treats that he wanted to give to Lucky, Carl’s dog.  I love it when Aaron wants to do the giving, so I agreed.  When we got to Carl’s house, he invited us in so that Aaron could give Lucky her treat.  Feeble old Lucky hobbled over to Aaron and happily took the dog bone from Aaron’s hand.  Aaron handed the bag of treats to Carl, happy as he could be that Lucky liked the bone and that he could give her more.

I could tell that Carl didn’t have anything for Aaron, and that was perfectly fine.  But then Carl reached down beside his chair and picked up a shopping bag in which was a can of Maxwell House Coffee.  He asked me if we like coffee and then wanted me to take the bag.

I did not want him to give me that coffee so I thanked him but said no.  I told him that I had just bought coffee, which was true, and that he needed to keep his coffee. 

Surprisingly, Aaron was quiet during our exchange.  He and I left, but as we walked to the car Aaron spoke very quietly to me.

“You ruined his heart,” Aaron softly said.


That almost stopped me in my tracks.

Aaron kept saying that to me over and over as we made our last two deliveries and then headed to lunch.  We talked a lot about it and I believe that Aaron understands why I did not take the coffee. 

But still, Aaron felt so bad that Carl wanted to give us something and I said no.  Aaron wasn’t concerned about the fact that he didn’t get any gift today.

No.  He was worried about Carl’s heart…about hurting Carl’s feelings.

He knows that giving a gift is a good thing for the giver more than the one doing the getting.

I’m pretty blown away by that perception on Aaron’s part.

Blown away by the very insightful way that Aaron verbalized his thoughts.

Aaron loves to give things away, but I never realized that he has empathy and understanding toward others who are doing the giving.

He knows that the joy he feels when giving is also felt by others who are giving to him.

I can also see that the kindness of Carl…and of others like him in Aaron’s life…is causing kindness to blossom in Aaron.

Sometimes Aaron can be the very opposite of kind, quite honestly.  We talked some about how his words can ruin hearts.  But whatever is going on with Aaron and with his words and behaviors, I hope that I will pause and remember Aaron’s words.

You ruined his heart.

May that never be what I do to anyone, and especially not to this special son that God has given to us. 

Author: Patty hesaidwhatks

I'm Patty and I write about our adult son who has Epilepsy and Autism, who still lives with my husband and me, and who is a package full of many surprises and joys and challenges and TALK! Lots of talking, which creates laughter and some other reactions as well. I also write about how God shows Himself to me in everyday life.

19 thoughts on “A Ruined Heart”

  1. Ah Aaron continues to give us life lessons. I wonder how many ruined hearts I have caused as I have robbed the giver of giving.

    The Lord bless you and be gracious to you and give you peace. 🙏🏽


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Aaron had an aha moment when he felt you ruined Carl’s heart. Like all of us, it is easy to see what someone else does to someone, than what we do in our relationships. Aaron is a precious one! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow Patty. Just unbelievable for Aaron to put things together like he did. He never fails to amaze with his way of thinking. I think about how excited he is to bring a gift to Victoria (or anyone else) and how crushed we know he would be if it was turned down. But for him to be able to empathize with Carl that way. Well just Wow. You go Aaron!

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    1. It really has opened my eyes to some ways Aaron thinks- ways I had never seen before. I think God gives me those glimpses so I can understand Aaron better, and also see the amazing ways that God created his brain. Today was…like you said…wow!


  4. Wow, Patty, this post was powerful. Here’s my take-away. We never know how our words or actions influence others until, like Aaron, they verbalize it. Many people will never share things like that like Aaron does, so we, parents, grandparents, teachers, pastors, must be so careful to care for the hearts of those in our sphere of influence. Thanks so much for sharing and being vulnerable. God bless you all!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love the stories that you share about Aaron. He knows how to hit the mail on the head, doesn’t he? I have done the same thing to people many times when they would try to give me something. You can bet the next time I am given a gift, I will say, thank you, and try very hard not to ruin their heart.
    God bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ahh this too has been a tough thing for me…love love love giving but I’m funny about receiving…when I went through cancer last fall a friend brought over food and snack several times and reminded me to not worry and to not rob God of the blessing…good truth-lesson.

    Liked by 1 person

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