|Is it 12:08…..|
Ah, the time change of this past weekend has come to bite us. We knew it would be difficult for Aaron to accept this change. It nearly always is. He doesn’t mind it so much when we turn the clock back one hour, but this forward one hour business is not his cup of tea.
“What??!!” he exclaimed on Saturday during supper when we broke the time change news to him. No matter how much I tried to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal, it still was a big deal to Aaron. It was an even bigger deal at bedtime.
“Mom!! Come on! I need to say goodnight! It’s not really 10:00, it’s 11:00! Come on! It’s late!!”
“I don’t think I’m gonna read tonight. It’s late! It’s already after 11:00!! I’m just going to sleep! Do you think that’s a good idea?”
I told him it was a very good idea. And I wish that this morning had held some good ideas for getting him over the Monday time change hump, but good ideas were few and far between this morning. Add in the fact that Aaron didn’t go to his day group on Friday because of his meltdown on Thursday….and today was his first day back since that incident……and add in that I overslept today….and Aaron wouldn’t wake up today…..not a good morning.
He woke up grouchy. I had to keep speaking to him in order to wake him up, and my voice first thing on this kind of morning is not what he wanted to hear. Not even his mugs of coffee sitting beside his desk helped on this morning. Not even all the advice I’ve read, been given, or given out myself helped this morning. Aaron was grouchy to the bone.
This Kansas City Chiefs doll that Aaron gave me a couple years ago pretty much matched both my face and Aaron’s face as I drove him to meet his group.
But when we pulled up beside the Paradigm van, Aaron opened his door….and then closed it again, refusing to budge. I wasn’t going to fight it, so I apologized to his driver and headed home again with Aaron. I was deep down really irritated. Totally mad, actually. I had some strong words with Aaron as we drove home, and I wasn’t all cheery even when he apologized.
Straight upstairs we both went, Aaron to his room and me to my bedroom. It wasn’t long before I heard Aaron’s steps coming up the hall. He walked in my room and handed me something. It was a note that he had just quickly written.
Oh my goodness! How could I stay mad after I read this note? I am “preety?” And I am “sweat?” I took a shower this morning! HaHa!
And along with the “I love her,” Aaron quickly and sincerely gave me a huge hug. Any hugs from Aaron are rare and welcomed, but a huge hug is definitely a special treat.
Of course, my heart melted, even as I knew that Aaron might be yelling at me again tonight. But at that moment, Aaron was feeling terrible about not going to Paradigm, so he jumped at my offer to drive him there on my way to run my errands.
“Mom,” he said as he put his jacket back on. “I just thought I could write that note and make you happy to me, not rude like you were in the van.”
I was rude? But I didn’t want to argue and I didn’t want to take away from this special moment, so I just smiled and the two of us went on our way after picking out a new oldies CD to listen to during our drive. I was happy to him all the way there, and he was happy back to me.
He gave Barb at Paradigm a huge hug, too, and she and I talked awhile about the complexity of Aaron. How do we find what will make him calm….make him motivated…..make him polite to others? There are no easy answers, and there never have been. She showed me her latest notes from Aaron on her desk calendar. Notes like mine from today. Notes that we see and read, especially on Aaron’s grouchy days, to remind us that there is a side of Aaron that wants to be sweet and kind.
I’ll keep Aaron’s note on my desk, where I can see it, but where he can see it as well. I want him to realize that kindness from him is a quality that is worth holding onto and remembering.
I’m not sure yet if I’ll also try to clear up that “sweat” comment, or just take it that he meant I am sweet. Maybe I don’t want to know.