How Do Pineapples Grow?

Aaron loves fresh pineapple, so he was happy to see the other day that I had bought a nice pineapple at Sam’s.  He also loves fruits and vegetables that have unusual appearances, and I do believe that a fresh pineapple would fit under that category.  All those spines and that odd, wild growth on top does nothing but stimulate Aaron’s curiosity.

This is why he came into the family room on Sunday evening carrying our pineapple.  “Mom!  I like this pineapple!”

Yes, Aaron, I know you do.

“When can we eat it,”  he asked?  So I told him that we would probably eat it the next day.  I was chilling out at that moment, watching football, and not in the mood to tackle a pineapple.

Aaron proceeded to go downstairs and have nearly the same conversation with Gary before returning to the family room, still carrying the pineapple.  “Mom, I asked Dad if pineapples grow on trees and he laughed.  So do they grow on trees?”

Well, pineapples grow…………uh, they grow………..I think they grow………….you know, I’m not exactly sure. And this is why you would have found Aaron and I sharing my tablet screen, looking at various pictures of pineapples and how they grow……….while Aaron excitedly rubbed his hands together and held his special fresh pineapple in his lap.

Yesterday morning, you can be assured that Aaron talked again about that pineapple……how it grows, where it grows, what it tastes like, and making sure that I had not forgotten that I had said we could have the pineapple that night.  Aaron returned from his group a little late and found me in the midst of cooking supper.  He talked a few minutes about his day before he went over and grabbed the pineapple, placing it on the counter in front of me………….to remind me that I had said we would eat the pineapple………..tonight!

I know, I know, Aaron!  But he was persistent.  “Mom, you said we’d eat the pineapple tonight.  Aren’t you going to open it?!”  I laughed and he continued, “So how do you open the pineapple?”

Aaron, you open the pineapple by cutting it!  And he once again urged me to open the pineapple as he scrambled up to his room.   He was full from his day of eating who-knows-what, but later as we played Skip-Bo, he had himself a nice bowl full of the pineapple that I had opened for him.  I had to remind him several times to chew with his mouth closed as he chomped that open pineapple.

This morning, he came into my room and began talking about the open pineapple, and how it looked rotten because of the color on the outside………….but it wasn’t rotten, right?………….and how good it tasted………..and could he have some for breakfast.  He managed to polish off the remainder of our open pineapple this morning, enjoying every bite.  Believe me, I know………because he carried his bowl up to my room, and chomped and slurped once again while I finished getting ready.

Aaron sure can take something as normal as a pineapple and make it into a very interesting experience.  We’ll have to open another one soon!

Lessons From the Window

It was a holiday weekend and Andrew was coming home.  Between college and his pit crew travels, we hadn’t seen him in 2 1/2 months.  We were excited to have him home!  I was busy doing the things that a happy mom does when her child is coming home after being gone for so long.  I was fixing some of his favorite foods; doing some vacuuming and dusting; cleaning bathrooms; and getting his room all ready.  We weren’t sure exactly what time he’d be home, so as I zipped from room to room I found myself repeatedly looking out the windows to see if I would find his blue truck pulling into the driveway.  My anticipation was mounting with each passing hour!  I couldn’t wait to hug him, to look at him, to talk to him, and to sit down at dinner together with laughter and sharing as we always do when we’re all together again. 
I was upstairs in his bedroom, changing his sheets and glancing out his windows every few minutes, when the Holy Spirit spoke very clearly to my heart.  It was as if He said, “Patty, I do wish you looked forward to seeing the Lord at His return as much as you look forward to seeing Andrew when he returns.”  I have given this much thought since that day and have been convicted over and over by my attitude. 
How many times have I spoken of the rapture and linked it to being rescued from a situation that I’m tired of?  So often I have commented that it sure will be wonderful when the Lord returns and we won’t have to face death and sickness anymore.  And won’t it be a blessing to be in heaven and see all of our family and friends that are there now?  Oh, and the world is in such bad shape that it will just be a joy to be rid of it all and be with the Lord.  No more having to make painful, long term decisions about Aaron; no more financial struggles; no more conflicts with people; on and on the list goes.

While all of these factors are legitimate reasons to want to be with Jesus, I have often missed the real and most important goal.  It hit me with such force as I compared the reasons I wanted to see Andrew compared with the reasons I wanted to see Jesus.  I wouldn’t run up to Andrew when he returned and say, “Oh, Andrew, I’m so glad you’re here because I’m tired and need a break from things here.  Thanks for what you’re going to do while you’re here to relieve me and refresh me.”  No!  I just wanted to be with him, to talk to him, to enjoy his fellowship and love. 
So while it’s natural to want freedom from our trials and stresses and to be with Jesus, I want to think more about Whom I will be with rather than what he’s rescuing me from.  I want to look forward, as Paul said in I Corinthians 5:8, to being absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.  I want to anticipate time with Jesus, talking to Him, enjoying His fellowship, basking in His love, and praising Him.  In John 16:22, Jesus said to the disciples, “……but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you.”

I look forward to being taken away from this old earth and all the junk that goes with it.  But may I look forward even more to glancing out my windows some day and seeing Jesus come to take me to heaven, where I can sit at His feet and talk to Him and praise Him forever! 

Tattoos and Enchiladas and……….

On Thursday, Aaron had his Epilepsy doctor appointment.  I was very relieved to be called back rather quickly from the waiting room.  Aaron was way too fascinated by the dad who was sitting there, arms covered in tattoos.  “Mom, look at his tattoos!” Aaron whispered………except Aaron doesn’t really whisper………’s more of what we would call a normal voice but to him is quieter than his usual loud voice.  Then I whispered for him to hush and he wanted to know why and I was hoping this man didn’t hear or at least that he was kind and understanding.   It was very nice to escape that situation!    Aaron’s seizures and his medicine levels are stable, so there wasn’t much new there.  However, we love time with the nurse practitioner, Keith Trevolt.  He is a lay pastor as well as a very knowledgeable health care provider,  and our visits with him are always uplifting, informative, and fun.  He seems to have all the time in the world to listen to Aaron, and as Aaron got wound up, Keith had lots to listen to……….mostly about (drum roll)………..Battleship!!!!  Aaron would have replayed every scene and every conversation and every alien move had I not finally intervened.   I rescued Keith, and Aaron and I went on our way to the next destination……….the real reason Aaron wanted to come, which was lunch, of course.

I had suggested that we eat at Carlos O’Kelly’s.  Aaron was happy about this choice because it’s a place he has been to rarely, if ever.  We were thankfully ushered immediately to a booth and so began this serious eating-out process.  I told Aaron to first decide on his drink……….and of course, he immediately spotted the margarita selection on the back of the menu.  “Mom, is that a beer?”  His fascination with beer continues, of course, so I had to try to quickly explain the difference and then urge him to confirm his choice – iced tea, thankfully.   

Aaron and menus have become a very time-consuming combination.  He wants to look at and read every item.  I tried to suggest various food choices and his response, invariably, is to say, “Let me see it.  What’s in it?”  He wants to see a picture and get a full description of each choice, which takes forever, so I finally strongly suggested an enchilada……….and then we had to face the selection of sides………..and determine what the soup of the day was………..and let him ponder that while the waitress had her pen poised………and Aaron had more questions……….and needed a picture…………JUST ORDER, AARON!!!!!

His Tortilla Soup arrived in a very tiny bowl, with a glob of sour cream on top.  As soon as Aaron methodically cleaned the sour cream swipe on the side of the bowl, he proceeded to spill much more of the soup down the sides of same bowl as he tried to scoop soup out of a much-too-small bowl.  He managed to eat most of the soup, completely soaking the cute little napkin under the soup but thankfully not getting too much of the soup on the table or his clothes.  He’s a little shaky and so soup can be difficult, but I ignore the mess so he won’t feel badly about it. 

His enchilada had been delivered and he dug into that next, very carefully smoothing out that dollop of sour cream on top so as to cover the entire enchilada.  This took some time as he smoothed and smoothed again that sour cream, as if he was painting the top of his enchilada.  But then his fork was covered in sour cream and this was a problem………..because Aaron will not put the fork in his mouth to clean it.  No, no, no…….Aaron will only clean his utensils with a napkin.  So he took a napkin and wiped his fork off in it, watching me to see if I objected.  I was thankful that the waitress had brought extra napkins earlier.  How did she know?  Next Aaron carefully removed the jalapenos and put them on his little soup plate. 

Now it was time to seriously eat.  He observed his plate and then began to eat the garnish first.  Aaron eats one item at a time, and he considered the little pile of onions and spices to be an item to eat……….not an item to put onto his enchilada.  The enchilada was all smooth with his sour cream and was not to be further disturbed.  After finishing the garnish, he tackled the rice.  His waitress kindly offered to get him a spoon and as she walked away, Aaron asked, “Can I have a knife?”  Because with every meal, even if it’s cereal, Aaron must have multiple spoons and at least one knife and one fork.  She didn’t hear him and somehow he survived without a knife for this meal. 

My meal didn’t take long to eat, so I spent the majority of my time sipping my Pepsi and watching Aaron and of course, listening to Aaron.  I listened to Aaron clap his very loud clap, telling him to stop, and then listening as he tried to quietly slip in a clap here and there………or clap under the table.  I listened to Aaron as he talked about everything around him.  “Mom!  Look!”  He was pointing behind us, to the bar.  “Look at those levers.  They turn them and beer comes out!”
I asked him if his food was spicy.  He thought for a second and then said, “Well, half of it was and half of it wasn’t.”    There he goes with that half business again!  He saw the waitress  bring me a take-out box for the remainder of my lunch, so he asked me if we could take the chips home.  As the next waitress passed our table………..not our waitress……..Aaron saw her and said, “HEY!!”  She stopped and thankfully she smiled and thankfully she understood and thankfully she brought Aaron a nice bag in which he could thankfully take home those chips. 
Finally, four napkins and two spoons and one fork and a bag of chips later, we were ready to leave.  We made a quick run into Target, where Aaron asked if he could go find some Mike and Ikes……….and I reluctantly agreed.  He promised to come back quickly and meet me where I was checking out some sale items.  He took longer than I thought he should and of course, I should not have been surprised to look up and see Aaron lumbering toward me with this:
He was very happy to have found this wonderful pillow.  As I placed the pillow in the cart, he then pulled 3 boxes of Mike and Ikes out of his pockets.  Thank you, security guys, for not questioning my son about why he was stuffing Mike and Ikes into his pockets.  Good grief, Aaron! 

It was nice to arrive home, in more ways than one, and to have Aaron lay down for a nap.  My brain needed a break, not to mention my nerves. 

And I was thankful for the either deaf or patient tattooed dad;  our kind nurse practitioner;  pleasant, understanding waitresses; and either blind or unobservant security personnel. 

It’s all part of a day with Aaron.

The Spitting Farmer

So now that you’ve read the title, I may as well just get on with the story.  Last night Aaron and I were playing Skip-Bo.  He was doing his usual……..eating……….talking……….and trying to cheat whenever my eyes turned away for more than 5 seconds.  I can control the eating………I am keeping baggies of sliced cucumbers in the frig  as a healthier snack option.  Of course, he must have a bowl into which he dumps the cucumbers……….he will NOT eat out of the baggie – but at least he’s eating cucumbers and not Skittles.

I can also control the cheating by not letting my eyes stray onto my tablet or phone, or by not leaving the table.  Even then, I have to be very alert.  Aaron is a quick cheater.  I like to think of him as being very smart instead of being a very big cheat.  I am his mother, you know.

As for the talking – we have yet to find a way to control the talking.  A captive audience is Aaron’s favorite, and since I can’t leave the table when playing Skip-Bo with Aaron, I am a captive.

As I sat there, captivated by his non-stop chatter in his mostly monotone voice, I was captively listening to his usual talk of his day and his friends and his activities and his food choices and his games, etc., etc., and etc.
Then he said it.

“Mom, Dad caught me doing something and he made me stop.”

He paused as he often does, for effect.  I was bracing myself for what Aaron might have been doing that Dad had to make him stop doing……….and wondering why Gary had not told me about this thing that Aaron was doing that he had to stop doing.

Then Aaron finished with, “I was trying to be a farmer and spit on the steps.”

Those of you who know me, or who have read my blog for awhile, know that I often withhold laughter in front of Aaron when it means that I am laughing at Aaron.  I don’t want to make Aaron feel bad for being laughed at, or I don’t want to encourage poor behavior by laughing in front of Aaron.  I try to wait until the time that I can laugh behind his back.  However, there are those times that withholding my laughter is very unhealthy for me……….and last night was one of those times.  I chose my good health and I laughed.  I laughed very loudly……..while Aaron blandly went on with his Skip-Bo move and his monotone talking.

He then demonstrated the way that he tried to spit……..minus the spit, thankfully………but the little ppfftting sound he made was even more hilarious.  Oh my goodness!  Now I have some questions about this behavior on several levels.

Number One:  Why does Aaron think that farmers spit?

Number Two:  If Aaron wants to emulate a farmer, why didn’t Aaron instead put a piece of hay in his mouth from the “hay barrels”, as Aaron calls them, like farmers routinely do.  Right?

Number Three:  Why didn’t Aaron say that he tried to spit like a baseball player?  Baseball players spit!  A lot!

Number Four:  Since when do farmers……or even baseball players…….spit on steps?  Carpeted steps?

I helped Aaron carry his coffee up to his room this morning.  As we walked up the steps, with Aaron behind me, he said, “Mom, this is where I tried to spit on the steps.”  I quickly looked down, glad that I had on shoes.  I reaffirmed to him that he should never spit on the steps……….and knowing Aaron, he should never spit anywhere.

I have also decided that it’s been way too long since I vacuumed those stairs.  Maybe all the dirt on the carpet confused Aaron and brought out his spitting instincts.

Don’t try to call for several minutes.  I can’t hear the phone over the vacuum.

The Green Pepper Gift

Earlier in the summer, when our garden was producing pleasant vegetables, I often had a variety of our produce on the kitchen counter.  Sometimes I would let Aaron take a few cucumbers or squash or peppers to some of the staff at his day group.  He especially liked giving these treats to Barb, one of the staff there with whom he has formed a close bond.  Barb is a mom herself, soft-spoken and kind, so Aaron responds well to her.  She is patient with Aaron, and even allows him to get on her computer……….so this has propelled Barb way up on Aaron’s list of favorite people.

It’s been awhile since we had any fresh produce to share, as our garden has become very unpleasant……..dried up and brown and ugly.  Therefore, yesterday I bought some cucumbers and some bell peppers at Aldi.  They were laying on the kitchen counter this morning, waiting for me to find a place for them in the frig.  Aaron and I were busy getting ready this morning.  He was more hyper than usual, bouncing from his movie that he was watching…… my room to talk to me……….to the kitchen to drink his coffee……..back up the stairs to talk to me some more………… his room……….

I knew that he had bagged up some of the croissants that he bought yesterday at Wal-Mart (Yes!  More croissants!), but as he got his shoes and socks on in the family room, I noticed an extra bag.  I asked him about it and he did NOT want me to look at it.  I asked him what was in the bag and he bristled.  Earlier he had been telling me about a character in his Star Wars game and he said, “Mom, she did a fuss with somebody!”

Well, Aaron did a fuss with me at that point!  I could tell that he might do a big fuss with me, but I insisted on knowing what was in the bag, so he sharply told me that he was taking Barb some…………green peppers.  Yes, green peppers………….that I had bought at Aldi………..all three of my new Aldi green peppers!  He had my green peppers in the bag for Barb.  I explained that these were not garden green peppers – that these were store bought green peppers – from the store – that I had paid for – that I needed – and that Barb probably did not need – my green peppers.

Aaron would have none of that.  For some reason, he really wanted Barb to have these peppers………really, really wanted Barb to have these peppers.  So out to the van we went, Aaron holding his bag of croissants………and the bag of green peppers………my green peppers………from the store……..that I had bought……

We were silent on the way to Quik-Trip to meet his group.  He knew that I was frustrated.  I knew that he and I would do a big fuss if I said much more.  As we drove, and listened to the Supremes, Aaron softened and tried to talk.  I remained mostly silent.  Finally, we pulled up to Quik Trip.  Aaron reached into the bag that had the green peppers………my green peppers……….and quickly broke the plastic wrap and pulled out one large, pretty pepper.

“Mom, can I take Barb just one pepper?” he asked as he opened the door to make his exit………..with the one green pepper……….my green pepper.  I mumbled a yes and he settled into Cody’s car, with his bag of croissants and his bag with the one green pepper.

We got through this episode without doing a big fuss, as Aaron would say.  And again I must weigh the pros and cons of Aaron taking this strange gift to Barb………..the green pepper gift…… green peppers from Aldi……..and I mentally scratch my head.  Who can know what prompted him to grab this unusual gift for his special friend?  How can I encourage his kindness and generosity but teach him wisdom………..about giving away our food.  What will it be next that he decides to stuff in a bag and give away?  I don’t mind giving people things at all………but Aaron will take freedoms with this that we never intended.  He always does.

And I imagine that Barb scratched her head as Aaron handed her the bag……….with a green pepper………….from Aldi.  Aaron said that she laughed.  I should probably call her and explain………and hide the cucumbers tonight.

Only For Rosie

I hope that all of you have read my former blog about Aaron and Rosie so that you will have some background about their special relationship.  Every now and then Aaron will still mention how someone teases them about being boyfriend/girlfriend.   We continue to encourage the friendship aspect of their relationship, and I feel sure that Rosie’s mother would agree.  It really is sweet to hear Aaron talk about her, though, because he always speaks of her with a kindness and a tenderness that he never offers to anyone else………..including me or Andrea, the other two very important females in Aaron’s life.  It’s not that Aaron is never tender or kind to us, but ongoing tenderness?  Nah!  Not with Aaron and his short fuse that we often light. 

Some of Aaron’s day group staff may correct me, but it doesn’t seem from what Aaron shares with us that he teases Rosie or gets frustrated with her like he does with his other friends there.  Lately, Aaron has given us further insights into his friendship with Rosie.  One day he matter-of-factly told me that he let Rosie wear his watch.  He wondered if I would mind him doing that, so I was careful as I talked to him to not make him get defensive.  I wanted to know more about this new kindness that Aaron was extending to Rosie without making him feel like it was something that I wouldn’t approve of or understand.  Over the next few days, from what I could gather, he explained that Rosie didn’t have a watch and that she wondered what it would feel like to wear one.  Therefore, Aaron said he let Rosie wear his watch in Wal-Mart.  Then he later said that he lets Rosie wear his watch every day at Paradigm when they’re not going anywhere but are at the office. 

“Mom, Rosie always gives it back.  Is that OK to let Rosie wear my watch?”   I told him that this was fine, all the while feeling like a mother with a 13 year old who is trying to maneuver this new world of male/female relationships…………what is acceptable and what is not?  Aaron gave Rosie all of our crayons………and markers…………and colored pencils.  I hope he’ll just let her borrow the watch and not eventually give it to her.  Maybe she can teach Aaron how to wear his watch on his wrist and not pushed halfway up his arm the way he does now!  Or maybe Rosie thinks that’s the correct way to wear a watch, so she has it pushed up her arm, too.  Who knows?

Check out the watch!
Today I noticed a bag on the kitchen table as we were getting ready to leave for Aaron’s group.  I peeked inside and saw three DVDs before Aaron took the bag away.  When I questioned him about it, he reluctantly said, “Those are for Rosie.”  As I asked him more questions, he told me that he had his three Shrek movies in the bag.  “Rosie doesn’t have them so I’m taking them to her.”  I broached the subject of Rosie returning the movies, but Aaron was through talking about it.  He doesn’t want to hear me say that she can’t borrow – or have – the movies.  I’ll need to address that later, but for now I let it drop.  He’s showing another kindness and I hesitate to discourage that.  We already tell him not to spend money on Rosie, yet we know he does.  There is a balance to this business of teaching kindness yet also being careful about the over-extension of it.  Aaron has always had a tendency to give people money and he has done just that with Rosie.  When we told him to stop giving her money, he did for awhile…………but then told us that he wasn’t giving Rosie money anymore – he was buying her things instead.  Oh Aaron.

Yesterday’s conversation, though, was the best.  Gary and I took Aaron with us out to eat.  We had a long wait for a table and then for our food.  Aaron occupied himself by cramming peanuts in his mouth as fast as he could shell them.  Finally, he burped – quietly – thankfully!  This reminded him of something to tell us………everything reminds Aaron of something to tell us.  He said, “Sometimes at Paradigm I kind of burp.”

I said, “Now Aaron, how do you KIND of burp?  You either burp or you don’t burp.” 

And knowing Aaron, it would be a very loud burp.  So Aaron laughed and agreed that he did indeed burp. 
Then he continued, “Rosie said to say excuse me.”

So did you say excuse me, Aaron?  And he said that yes, he did say excuse me.  This is very surprising.  I had to ask him………..Aaron, would you say excuse me for anyone else?

He replied, “No………only for Rosie.”

Only for Rosie.  That spoke volumes to Gary and me. 

Only for Rosie………..will he share his money, and share his Number 52 Slurpee, and share his popcorn, and share his watch, and share his crayons and markers and colored pencils and even a pencil sharpener, and share his DVDs. 

It truly is sweet to see this caring, sharing side of Aaron…………..even amidst the burps.  

Happy Labor’s Day!

Yes, as Aaron says – “Happy Labor’s Day!”  As always, he puts a different little twist on our familiar sayings.  I guess “labors” in the plural is really more appropriate, because we all certainly have more that one labor in our lives.  But a very special thank-you to those who work so hard every day to keep our nation moving and the gears turning in this great country.

Our travel plans for the weekend didn’t work out and so I’ve been fighting the blues.  A mother’s heart is always drawn to her children and when time with them doesn’t work out……….well, it just stinks.  But God has a bigger plan, which I well know, and so I move on.  And with Aaron, there is always something else to move on toward.  Life is not still with Aaron around!

I ran him down to Great Clips yesterday evening just before it closed.  Sure enough, there was no waiting.  This is the perfect arrangement for Aaron!  He immediately walked up to the counter and began removing his glasses………..then began to remove his ring…………until I stopped him.  Poor girls behind the register, with eyes big as they probably wondered what he was getting ready to remove next.  These girls, though, were happy and relaxed and understanding with Aaron as he plopped into the chair.  The one who cut Aaron’s hair went above and beyond, even shaving his cheeks and trimming his eyebrows.  He loved the extra attention!  I had to remind him, though, to quit talking while she trimmed his mustache.  He literally talks every minute that he is in that chair, so it was hard for him to be quiet.  And of course, can you guess what he talked about the most?  You win if you guessed…………..Battleship!!!!

I gave this sweet girl an extra tip and off we marched to Papa Murphy’s for a pizza for supper.  Aaron loves the pizza there………..but doesn’t care for the dinging of the door each time it opens………..and the way it dings even when it’s not opening.  “Would someone tell that door to stop dinging??!!”  Aaron doesn’t like broken dinging doors…….I don’t like the extra stares……….so I was glad to take our pizza and leave!  Aaron helped me throw newspapers in the recycle bin on our way home.  Of course, he quit suddenly to walk over to something his eagle eyes had spotted nearby…………that I had totally missed.  It was a small, bright  squeeze ball that he picked up over my protests and that I made him discard.  His room would be totally full of that kind of junk if he had his way.

This morning, I heard his floor creaking and his bedroom door opening……….then he thumped downstairs to where I was sitting.  “I woke up now,” he informed me.  Really, Aaron?  He immediately wanted to know if I would plug his keyboard in while he showered, and so forth and so on as he finally got up to take his pills.  As he said one day, “Mom, I’ve taken my pills and dranken my water!”

I heard him in the shower, happily and loudly singing as he often does.  Today it was his funny made-up song that consisted of   “A pom-pom-pom and a bee-bee-bee!”  Over and over and over he sang his song……..the pom-pom-pom in a higher pitch than the lower bee-bee-bee.  I hoped he was washing as well as he was singing!  He likes his current body wash………the one that he one day breathlessly told me, “Mom!  My shampoo has confetti in it!!”  Only Aaron.

He’s busy in his mulch right now.  The day is before us.  Maybe a little shopping, maybe eating out, maybe not.  Aaron will certainly be using his keyboard as much as possible, and if we open the car door to go anywhere then he will certainly be there to jump in and go with us.  Unless it’s clothes shopping………..Aaron doesn’t do clothes shopping.

And as for laboring on this Labor’s Day, he will labor as little as possible, too. Same for Gary and I, I do believe.

So Happy Labor’s Day, everybody!  Enjoy time with your family, doing what you love.  We plan to do just that!

Battleship and Blood Pressure

Aaron has been counting down the weeks and then the days until his latest mega-movie was out on DVD.  He usually googles a favorite movie on the very day he gets home from seeing it on the big screen in order to find out when it’s coming out on DVD.  Why do producers wait so long to put a movie on DVD?  They must not have an Aaron, who begins the countdown the minute that he gets that info from the internet.  He reminds Gary and I repeatedly about when the movie will be in the stores, so that when it does become available we are worn down and ready to just buy the movie so that Aaron will be quiet.  Another instance of throwing the parenting books out the window, which we did long ago.

Anyway, we were hoping to make a road trip this weekend and take Aaron with us, so the key to getting Aaron to go on this unexpected trip was to employ the Battleship movie as an incentive to sit in the van for hours of riding.  Well, the trip didn’t work out and so my plans backfired.  This is why you would have found me last night sitting in our family room watching Battleship with Aaron.  I promised him that I would do this, so it was best to fulfill that promise as soon as possible in order to have a peaceful weekend.  Well, sort of.  First I had to endure endless previews of the movie before we watched it and now it’s endless reviews of the movie after we watched it.

Battleship is a decent movie and is most assuredly a far better movie than Sharktopus or that awful Vortex movie (the German movie dubbed in English that didn’t match the actor’s mouth movements and was incredibly dumb……REMEMBER??!!).  We settled in for our movie, with Aaron in his usual chair with his usual multiple snacks with his usual multiple bowls for the multiple snacks with his usual water bottle nearby and his usual blanket and his usual stolen remote control so that HE can control the sound.  He was all settled, so I thought, and then he popped out of his chair again so that he could go get his usual napkins that he forgot……….so the entire usual process of his settling-in began again.  All that wiggling!  He was like a worm on a hot rock!!

Finally it was time to start the movie.  “Mom, there are eight things before the movie starts so you can skip over those.”  Aaron means that there are eight movie reviews before the movie starts.  He knows this because he has already been sneaking peeks at his new DVD and has memorized these important elements.  So I skipped those eight things and came to where the movie was to start, but before I hit “Play” we had to watch this exciting preview of Battleship……….because Aaron ALWAYS watches this part of the DVD……….over and over and over.  Thankfully, we just watched it once and then it was time to endure…..I mean, watch…….our Battleship mega movie.

Aaron immediately had questions about this and that in the movie.  I reminded him that he had already seen the movie and I had not, so he should know the answers………….and he reminded me that it was back in May that he had seen the movie……… he had forgotten.  I doubt that.  We watched a few minutes and then Aaron said, “Oh Mom!  This is near the part where he gets zapped!”  

Don’t tell me that, Aaron!  I want to be surprised!  Besides, how do you remember that if it was SO long ago that you watched it?

Aaron can’t be quiet for long and soon he had more questions, which prompted me to remind him that he had seen the movie before.  He replied, “Mom, stop saying that!  I haven’t seen it since May 2012!!” 
Aaron continued to give me movie insights as the movie progressed, and to ask many questions………….such as, “Do you want him to be the senior officer?    I wouldn’t!  He’s quite clumsy!”  Really?  I thought the whole movie was becoming quite clumsy and quite corny and very definitely quite unbelievable………..just like Aaron loves his movies to be!  And between the screeching of metal and explosions and alien ships and battleships and fighting and way too much drama……….and Aaron’s clapping and yelling and input and questions………….I was exhausted.  Plus I truly think this whole event raised my blood pressure.  I was scared to check it, hoping that a good night’s sleep was awaiting me where my body would return to normal. 

For Aaron, though, the ending of a movie is just another beginning.  Now he has the freedom to talk and talk and talk about every aspect of the movie that is imprinted on that brain of his.  And so it started, as he cleaned up his napkins and his bowls and his water and his snacks………..and asked me to put the movie in the case and slip the case in the box, because the case always goes in the box………the endless questions and comments were just beginning. 

How did the missile from the plane kill them?  Why did they have knives in their hands?  Were the Martians on the mountain arming missiles or something?  Could they talk?  Why did the sun hurt their eyes?  Were they trying to call in other Martians? 

This did not help my blood pressure.  This did not help my tired, over-stimulated brain.    I have discovered that “I don’t know” is an answer that he easily accepts, yet keeps him moving right on to the next question. 

I slept well.  This morning Aaron lumbered downstairs to inform me that he had also slept well.  Within 60 seconds, as expected, he launched in to more movie commentary and questions.  As I fixed breakfast and as we ate, it continued.
Are the Martians strong or half-strong?  Are the Martians dumb?  The Martians didn’t even care about his fake legs.  How come they can’t tell metal on a person?  I just wondered what’s so different.  You know what I thought was so dumb?  They didn’t kill all the people! 

We prayed over our breakfast and as we looked up he didn’t miss a beat.  Oh Mom, did you know that Martians can suck up human electricity?  You know that fish ship can suck up electricity?  I like their legs.  They’re skinny.  It’s neat how you could see the inside of the Martian ship.  That guy was dumb because that one Navy said this wasn’t a good idea but he did it anyway – he woke the Martians up.  That ship looked like a fish.  It jumped out of the ocean.  Fish do that, right?  How come they wanted an X-ray computer vision mind?  I like how the aliens talk – they don’t really talk.

Whew!  Aaron finally went outside to relax in the mulch as he loves to do.   I took a deep breath and tried to clear my mind.  Now I’m thinking of his last comment:  “I like how aliens talk – they don’t really talk.”

This confirms what I have suspected about our Aaron all along…………he is not an alien.  He may be very different, but he is not an alien.  Maybe one day I’ll have the answer.