I hope that all of you have read my former blog about Aaron and Rosie so that you will have some background about their special relationship. Every now and then Aaron will still mention how someone teases them about being boyfriend/girlfriend. We continue to encourage the friendship aspect of their relationship, and I feel sure that Rosie’s mother would agree. It really is sweet to hear Aaron talk about her, though, because he always speaks of her with a kindness and a tenderness that he never offers to anyone else………..including me or Andrea, the other two very important females in Aaron’s life. It’s not that Aaron is never tender or kind to us, but ongoing tenderness? Nah! Not with Aaron and his short fuse that we often light.
Some of Aaron’s day group staff may correct me, but it doesn’t seem from what Aaron shares with us that he teases Rosie or gets frustrated with her like he does with his other friends there. Lately, Aaron has given us further insights into his friendship with Rosie. One day he matter-of-factly told me that he let Rosie wear his watch. He wondered if I would mind him doing that, so I was careful as I talked to him to not make him get defensive. I wanted to know more about this new kindness that Aaron was extending to Rosie without making him feel like it was something that I wouldn’t approve of or understand. Over the next few days, from what I could gather, he explained that Rosie didn’t have a watch and that she wondered what it would feel like to wear one. Therefore, Aaron said he let Rosie wear his watch in Wal-Mart. Then he later said that he lets Rosie wear his watch every day at Paradigm when they’re not going anywhere but are at the office.
“Mom, Rosie always gives it back. Is that OK to let Rosie wear my watch?” I told him that this was fine, all the while feeling like a mother with a 13 year old who is trying to maneuver this new world of male/female relationships…………what is acceptable and what is not? Aaron gave Rosie all of our crayons………and markers…………and colored pencils. I hope he’ll just let her borrow the watch and not eventually give it to her. Maybe she can teach Aaron how to wear his watch on his wrist and not pushed halfway up his arm the way he does now! Or maybe Rosie thinks that’s the correct way to wear a watch, so she has it pushed up her arm, too. Who knows?
|Check out the watch!|
Today I noticed a bag on the kitchen table as we were getting ready to leave for Aaron’s group. I peeked inside and saw three DVDs before Aaron took the bag away. When I questioned him about it, he reluctantly said, “Those are for Rosie.” As I asked him more questions, he told me that he had his three Shrek movies in the bag. “Rosie doesn’t have them so I’m taking them to her.” I broached the subject of Rosie returning the movies, but Aaron was through talking about it. He doesn’t want to hear me say that she can’t borrow – or have – the movies. I’ll need to address that later, but for now I let it drop. He’s showing another kindness and I hesitate to discourage that. We already tell him not to spend money on Rosie, yet we know he does. There is a balance to this business of teaching kindness yet also being careful about the over-extension of it. Aaron has always had a tendency to give people money and he has done just that with Rosie. When we told him to stop giving her money, he did for awhile…………but then told us that he wasn’t giving Rosie money anymore – he was buying her things instead. Oh Aaron.
Yesterday’s conversation, though, was the best. Gary and I took Aaron with us out to eat. We had a long wait for a table and then for our food. Aaron occupied himself by cramming peanuts in his mouth as fast as he could shell them. Finally, he burped – quietly – thankfully! This reminded him of something to tell us………everything reminds Aaron of something to tell us. He said, “Sometimes at Paradigm I kind of burp.”
I said, “Now Aaron, how do you KIND of burp? You either burp or you don’t burp.”
And knowing Aaron, it would be a very loud burp. So Aaron laughed and agreed that he did indeed burp.
Then he continued, “Rosie said to say excuse me.”
So did you say excuse me, Aaron? And he said that yes, he did say excuse me. This is very surprising. I had to ask him………..Aaron, would you say excuse me for anyone else?
He replied, “No………only for Rosie.”
Only for Rosie. That spoke volumes to Gary and me.
Only for Rosie………..will he share his money, and share his Number 52 Slurpee, and share his popcorn, and share his watch, and share his crayons and markers and colored pencils and even a pencil sharpener, and share his DVDs.
It truly is sweet to see this caring, sharing side of Aaron…………..even amidst the burps.