Last night my West Virginia Mountaineers were playing football. It was televised here so I was looking forward to settling in for a night of football. Of course, starting mid-afternoon, Aaron began asking his daily question: “Mom, can we do something tonight? You know, maybe play Skip-Bo or do our backs?” We take turns tickling each other’s backs with a back scratcher. I told him that I was watching WV play football, and naturally he invited himself to join me.
And so WE settled in for a night of football – Aaron in the big easy chair that he loves, with his blanket over his lap like a nursing home patient; his digital clock that also shows the outdoor and indoor temperatures; tortilla chips; water; napkins; toothpicks; tootsie rolls; and possibly more food hidden under the blanket that I wasn’t aware of and chose to ignore. So off we go:
“Mom, did you know that the temperature outside is 74 degrees? Is that cold?”
“What does LSU stand for?”
“Which color is WV wearing?”
“There’s another referee in that jail costume”
“Why do football players have long hair?”
“Mom, now the temperature is 71 degrees? Is that cold?”
“I notice that sometimes coaches look mad.”
“Do you think he can make a chance happen?”
“A BOY cheerleader? Now, that’s funny!”
“How does that guy get that paint off his face?”
“See, that coach looks mad!”
“So are there five or six rounds in football?”
“Why is that rope up in the air?”
“Those refs in the jail costumes move their hands funny!”
“Mom, now the temperature outside is 69 degrees. Is that because it’s fall?”
“Why does that referee in the jail costume have an L on his shirt?”
“See, that coach looks mad again!”
At last the game was over. Sadly, we lost. And the WV coach did look mad. The temperature outside was 67 degrees. Then Aaron asked, “So Mom, is there football on tomorrow?” I don’t know, Aaron. I think they cancelled all the games. And besides, my ears hurt!
He Said What?! 
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