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A very unpleasant and unattractive trait of Asperger’s Syndrome is the tendency to be very egocentric.  Dear old Aaron shows this side of himself every single day…………some days and some situations more than others.  His inability to manage his emotions and his self-focus can be extremely frustrating at times.

Mom!  I’m hungry!
Mom!  I’m tired!
Mom!  I’m bored!
Mom!  I’m sleepy!
Mom!  I’m curious!
Mom!  I’m awake!
Mom!  I’m cold!
Mom!  I’m hot!

It can be wearying sometimes for Gary and I.  We often try to bring Aaron’s attention to the needs of others and to how someone other than himself is feeling.  Aaron is rarely affected by this attempt………..but when he does show concern for others, and especially for Gary or me, it certainly does touch our hearts.  I’ve written about that when I talked about the hug he gave me one night when I was sick or the bandaid he brought me when I hurt myself.  Those moments are all the more precious to us because we know that they come from a place deep inside Aaron that we rarely see.

Last night we did not see a very caring attitude.  I had come upstairs to get ready for bed.  Aaron got very excited about a video from You Tube that he wanted to show me.  Even though I was tired, I agreed to watch the video, which was an old music video of Billy Joel’s song Uptown Girl.  Aaron loves this song and he was as tickled as he could be to share this video with me.  He giggled and clapped and kept turning to look at my reaction as we watched this video.  He really was hilarious with his reaction and I was laughing along with him, but not for the same reasons that he was laughing.  We even watched another video of a second song.  It was a fun way to end our day.

Just as Aaron turned the video off, Gary came up the stairs………..also very tired and walking slowly because of his aching back.  Of course, Aaron wanted to show Dad the Uptown Girl video and of course Gary just really wanted to go to bed.  But Gary came back to Aaron’s room and stood there through the whole video, aching back and all, enjoying the moment with us and laughing as I did at Aaron’s delighted reaction.  Then it was time for goodnights and sleep well and love you, Aaron…………..except not for Aaron, who wanted Dad to also watch that second video.  But Gary said no, and explained that it was late, even as I was telling Aaron that Dad’s back really was hurting and that he needed to go on to bed.

Aaron didn’t care at all about our tiredness, or the lateness of the hour, and certainly not about the fact that his Dad’s back was hurting.  His full focus was on that second video that he wanted Gary to watch.  We went on our way to our bedroom, but I came out later to answer a question of Aaron’s and found that he was escalating upwards in his anger.  According to Aaron, Dad didn’t care and Dad was mean………..even as I calmly reminded Aaron that Dad had watched the video that Aaron really wanted to show him and that Dad had laughed and that Dad had answered Aaron’s questions about the video…………yet none of this mattered to Aaron.  He was focused on what Dad had NOT done instead of what he HAD done.

Then I explained to Aaron that Dad’s back was hurting and that he needed to lay down, but Aaron actually said these words, “Why should I care?”  As I reminded Aaron of who had upgraded his computer recently and who had gotten him a new chair and who had done this and done that for him……….I could see Aaron softening a little but still being belligerent because his immediate desire had not been fulfilled.  His selfishness was on full display, ugly as it was, but in Aaron’s unfiltered world it was out there for all to see.

This whole scene reminds me so starkly of my relationship to the Lord.  How self-serving and demanding I can sometimes be with the One Who loves me so much!  God gives me blessing after blessing, but how often do I focus on what I don’t have or on what I perceive as unanswered prayer?  How many times do I not stop to thank Him for what He has done in so many areas of my life personally or in this world in general?  Do I praise Him and acknowledge His faithfulness and His power and His love?  Or do I whine and complain and stay self-focused?  God has dealt with me over the years about these very issues……..about the importance of praise and worship in my prayer life………of seeking His will in my requests and not my own will………..of the attitude of gratefulness that we are reminded of so often in scripture.

Even as we try to patiently understand and continually work with Aaron on being less “it’s all about me”, so I know that God looks down in love on Patty and must sigh at my self-centeredness.  When I see Him in that light, I feel like His child for sure and I am very thankful that He is a long suffering and loving Father to me.

We’ll keep working with Aaron………….and God will keep working with us.

I know I sound like a broken record……….very similar to Aaron, actually………..but I tell you, Aaron notices everything.  The tiniest details of the world around him rarely escape his attention.  And then he talks about what he has observed.  He also never seems to tire of noticing the same things over and over again, and talking about them over and over again.

For instance, I know that when we drive by the pasture near our house, Aaron will always look for the cows.  He will often ask if the cows are out and if they’re not out, then where are they?  He will also ask who we think the cows belong to?  The man in the white house or someone else?  A couple miles on up the road we always pass another field on our way to meet Aaron’s day group.  This field has big black bulls who sometimes are grazing where we can see them as we drive by.  Aaron is fascinated by the bulls.  One day we had an interesting conversation about the purpose of bulls.  Ahem.  He did NOT seem to notice how quickly I glossed over that answer!  Anyway, nearly every day as we drive by that field, Aaron will wonder if the bulls are out and if they’re not out……….and they often are not in sight………..he wonders where they are, and why they aren’t out, and where do they stay.  Recently we drove by the field and there they were, close to the fence, grazing happily.  Aaron exclaimed, “There’s the bulls!  They’re out of that farm cage thing!”

Um, Aaron, that’s a pasture…………..not a bull zoo.

On up the road we pass a dentist’s office.  Aaron loves their concrete parking barriers.  Why does he love those particular concrete barriers?  Because they are painted in stripes!  They stand out to Aaron as unique and he loves anything unique.  And how many times have I heard him say, “There they are, Mom!  Candy canes!!”

He notices the old car that’s always parked in some one’s driveway every day.  He’s fascinated with RVs…………..”Mom are they expensive because they’re portable houses?”  And yesterday he excitedly said, “Mom, guess what I saw on the way home?  I saw an RV towing its OWN car!  Is it OK for an RV to tow its own car?!”  I try to explain these important matters to him, even as I’m distracted with supper preparations or some other chore……..and he won’t leave until he’s satisfied with my answer.  Therefore, I know that I need to do my best to answer him or to explain things, or he will stay there until I do.  Or until I tell him to Google it!

Yesterday he was very enthused as he told me about the fun thing that someone made at Paradigm using Chex cereal and chocolate and this and that………but he couldn’t remember what it was called.  I told him it sounded like Puppy Chow and he said, “Yes!  That’s it!  And it was all covered with confectionate sugar!”  So I showed him some confectioner’s sugar, which he thought was wonderful, and then as he pointed out the white marks all over his shorts, he said, “That confectionate sugar is spready!”

Yep, Aaron………..looks like to me you spread it all over your shorts.

But he wasn’t through with the rundown of his meal at Paradigm.  “Mom, I ate some mustard potato salad.  And then I had some of those potato chips………you know, those RIGID potato chips!”

Ah, yes, ridged potato chips!

“Yeah.  I don’t like RIGID potato chips!”

What?!  You don’t like potato chips with ridges?

“No.  They look like they have speed bumps that are on the road.”

I would never, ever have thought that the ridges on potato chips look like speed bumps on the road.  But Aaron does……….because Aaron notices every RIGID ridge on those ridged chips………….and he notices every speed bump………..and he notices that they are very much alike.

Amazing!

Ruffles Have RIGID Speed Bumps!!  Buy some today!  But slow down and watch your teeth!

Aaron’s been hard to rouse out of bed for the past several days.  I keep the monitor on at night and haven’t heard any seizures so I don’t think it’s seizure related.  Maybe he’s staying up too late reading at night.  Or maybe it’s because we take his keyboard away at night and so he doesn’t have the excitement of a game to wake up to each morning.

He also wakes up talking about very tired he is.  Last week he said, “Mom, I slipped out of bed at 6:17.”

You slipped out of bed?    “Yes!  I was on the edge and then I just slipped out!”  I asked him if his sheets were slippery but he didn’t react to that like others might have.  Sometimes I think I’m quite funny but Aaron rarely thinks I’m quite funny……….which I also find to be quite funny, actually.  His lack of reaction to my jokes really is hilarious sometimes.

Back to his slipping out of bed…………..I said, “So you mean that you FELL out of bed?”

“Yeah, I slipped out of bed.  Have you ever slipped out of bed?”  Well, Aaron, I have slipped out of bed but not the way that you slipped out of bed.  I actually slipped out of bed whereas you actually fell out of bed, obviously, etc., etc., etc.  I had this conversation with myself, by the way – not with Aaron.  He would not have valued it like I did, believe me.

This morning he was snug under his covers and did not appreciate my efforts to get him up.  I was kind; I was soft spoken; I didn’t linger long or have many words…………in other words, I did everything possible to ease him into this cruel reality that he was going to have to get out of bed. When I have to go in and wake him up, he’s often grouchy.  When he gets up on his own terms then he’s usually in a better mood.    Finally, I walked past his bedroom and on my way downstairs I simply told him that I was going to pour his coffee and get him a bowl of his favorite applesauce.  Soon I heard him laboring down the stairs and as he walked into the kitchen, I tried to ignore him and be unaffected by his grouchy face.  It’s better to be low-key when Aaron is grumpy.  I fixed his applesauce, laid out his comics, and poured his coffee………..all while listening to him tell me once again about how tired he was and that he didn’t want to be bothered.

OK, Aaron, I’m going back upstairs to finish getting ready.  Off I went, knowing that he wanted to be alone…………or at least ACTED like he wanted to be alone.  He polished off his applesauce quickly, and soon I heard him laboring back up the stairs.  And Aaron, who wanted to be left alone and not to be bothered because he was so tired, walked into my bathroom where I was getting ready.  He was carrying his coffee, which he carefully placed on the bathroom counter.  He sat down beside his coffee, getting settled and comfortable in the room with the person that he didn’t want to be around, according to him.  He sat there looking at me as I just ignored him and kept getting ready.  I didn’t say a word.  He slurped some coffee.  He wiggled into an even more comfy position.  He slurped some more coffee.  He watched me closely and I just kept quiet, not acknowledging him in any way.

Finally he broke the silence and said, “I wish you would just leave me alone.”

Seriously, Aaron?  So why did YOU come up the stairs and why did YOU come in my bathroom and why did YOU sit down here and why did YOU settle here to slurp your coffee………..but you wish that I would leave YOU alone?  Oh, never mind.  Another conversation with myself!  I talk to myself a lot around Aaron, and he doesn’t even know it.

The fact is, he doesn’t really want to be left alone and ignored, no matter how much he tries to act like he does.   Leave me alone, Mom…………but don’t really leave me alone.  Don’t really ignore me.

And as he showed me once again this morning, even when I’m really trying to ignore him, he won’t let me!  He can’t verbalize like you and I can, but he does manage to get his message across.

I can get my message across, too.  Tomorrow I may just show him what it means to be PUSHED out of bed!

Those of you who have followed Aaron for a long time know that he talks a lot about his weight.  He makes many comments about losing weight, such as, “Mom, am I losing weight?”………..even as he’s cramming his fifth croissant roll into his mouth from the stash he bought at Wal-Mart.  Or, “Mom, have I lost weight?”……….as he turns to look sideways in the mirror.  Or one of my favorites:  “Mom, am I halfway losing weight?”  Many of us adopted that statement as our mantra when I first publicized it…………we’re all halfway losing weight!!

Aaron does love to eat, though, like most of us do – and so his desire to lose weight is offset by his desire to eat.  He makes excuses for what he eats, like the time I made Rice Krispie treats and he asked if he could have one.  Before I knew it, he was walking across the kitchen with a huge stuck-together Rice Krispie treat square.  “Wait a minute, Aaron!” I declared.  “What on earth are you doing?”   And he replied, “Mom, I was just trying to pull one off and it did this!”

So you couldn’t correct what it did, Aaron?  How convenient!

Or the time the staff at his day group fixed burritos and Aaron was excited to tell me all about it.  “Mom!  Today they fixed burritos!  They did this thing that if you ate one then you could have another one!”

Really, Aaron?  How many did you have?  He answered, very flatly, “I had four.”  FOUR?  You had FOUR burritos?  Good grief!

Then another meal at Paradigm featured some garlic cheese bread on the side.  Of course, we heard his assessment of that when he got home.  “Mom, we had some mushy bread at Paradigm today.  It had garlic and cheese on it.”  I told him that this bread sounded yummy despite the fact that he thought it was mushy.  He said, “Well, I didn’t like that mushy bread but I ate a bunch of it.”

Why does he eat a bunch of something he doesn’t like anyway?!

Aaron is specific about his food, such as when I was serving him some mashed potatoes.  “Mom, I want the gravy INSIDE the potatoes.”  It’s funny how well I understand him…………kind of scary, too.

So this morning Aaron strolled into my bathroom as I fixed my hair.  He had just showered and I was not prepared to see him walk in wearing only his underwear.  Modesty is not his strong point, no matter how often we stress that is should be.  As I said, “Well, Aaron!” ………..and he was totally unaffected by my exclamation………..I realized that he was on a mission.  I assumed we were about to have another “am I losing weight?” conversation, when instead he said, “Mom?  Am I getting muscles?”  He then bent his arm and flexed his muscles, and stood there waiting for my answer.

How on earth do I not laugh out loud when my grown son is standing there in his favorite striped briefs, flexing his arm and asking me if he has muscles?  Well, I did laugh and he smiled but still waited for my answer as he continued:  “Am I getting strong?  I wanted your opinion.”  I had no idea that Aaron ever thought about the manly trait of being strong.  I’m still wondering where this all came from.

In the meantime, Aaron, you want my opinion?   Yes, you are getting strong.  That’s why I had you carry the big bag of dog food out to the van for me on Saturday.  He was pleased with that answer, even as I was coming to grips with this new side of my boy who is really a man.

You want another opinion?  Please put your shorts on…….your carpenter shorts!  Spare me the sight of you flexing your muscles standing there in your underwear.

It’s enough to make me lose weight, and not just halfway!

Aaron asks lots of questions.  Some questions he asks over and over again, and we know that he will continue to ask them over and over again as long as the sun rises and sets.  Sometimes Aaron wants to talk things to death, on and on and on.  Yet when it comes to most of the questions he asks us, he simply wants a simple answer.  Concise and to the point.  Gary and I know this, but do we always follow what we know?  Of course not!  But Aaron will remind us, that’s for sure!

Yesterday Aaron was anxious to play a game on the computer.  We had taken the keyboard away for awhile as we do every day, and had also taken that particular game away because of behaviors the night before.  Aaron went outside to ask Gary if he could have the keyboard back and the answer was yes.  But then Aaron asked if he could have that particular game back, and the answer wasn’t so simple.

Gary wanted to emphasize to Aaron once again the reason we had taken the game away…………what we expected from him if we gave him the game back…………and several other points that were well worth making – except that Aaron was totally uninterested in this long answer.  He quickly became lost in all the words even as he tried to focus and to listen.  I heard Aaron take advantage of several pauses in Gary’s answer to ask again, “But Dad, can I play that game?”  And still the answer continued.  I listened, knowing exactly where Aaron was going mentally with all of this.

Finally Aaron had heard enough and he burst out, “Dad!  You’re not answering my question the way that I’m asking it!!”

Once again Aaron yanked us back to reality and made us smile.  How many times do we do that, I wondered, whether with Aaron or with others?  And I know there are times that I wish I had the freedom to blurt that statement out to someone who is not answering my question the way that I asked it!!

I won’t say that to Aaron, though, because so often in his random answers to our questions we learn so much about what makes his amazing mind function the way that it does.

This is the time of year when many moms and dads are experiencing what Gary and I have gone through this week – saying goodbye to an adult child who is going to college or moving away for a job or has gotten married or any number of other scenarios.  Our daughter, Andrea, was accepted into the graduate program at the University of North Texas Health Sciences Center and will pursue her master’s………….and probably PhD……….in Forensic Genetics.  Can you tell that we’re proud of her?  She has been so patient to wait on God’s timing for this big decision, and in the past six months He definitely opened some amazing doors in order for her to move in this direction now.

But she is still our little girl in our hearts in many ways, even as we’ve seen her mature and assume major responsibilities over the past few years.  She went straight from college into a job as an EMT in an inner city emergency room, handling all sorts of traumas and stresses with her quiet strength.  Then she spent a calmer year as an assistant to a Sports Medicine doctor in a normal clinic setting.  And for the past six months, she worked as a Microbiologist in a pharmaceutical lab.  All of these experiences helped confirm to her what she felt like God wanted her to do………which was none of the above!  Her acceptance into grad school came at just the right time in very many ways, and we are all very pleased and thankful.

It was still heart wrenching to drive away from her this past week and watch her walk back to her apartment while we traveled back home without her.  She has lived an hour away for the past six months, and that was good preparation for her and for us.  But now she’s far enough away that those weekend visits won’t happen like they used to.  Distance and the demands of school will make our visits far fewer and farther between than we’ve ever had before.  I know that we appreciate technology now, too, more than we ever have before!  She and her brother Andrew are only a text or a Skype session away………but still…………

All this leaving business leaves me drained………fragile………unbalanced.  And very emotional.  But truly, as I knew it would, the feelings are becoming easier to manage.  I remember when Andrew left for college.  For his first year, he was only 40 miles away but as I said goodbye to him I cried as if I was leaving him in Alaska.  He awkwardly patted me as we hugged and he said, “Uh, Mom…….I’m only 40 miles away.”  Kids just don’t understand a mother’s heart!  I smile now, and I so remember the actual physical dizziness I felt for several days after he left.  When our children leave, we seem to lose part of our purpose and our routine, and the hole left in our heart makes it hard to stand up straight and breathe.  But we must breathe and we must go on and we must function.  Somehow we do.  God is faithful that way as he enables us to go forward in His strength.

And then Gary and I have Aaron.  Good old blunt Aaron.  Not just blunt, either………..but verbalizing this whole goodbye process as he tries to come to grips with the fact that his sister has moved so far away.  Distance is relative to Aaron.  He can’t touch it or see it, so it’s hard for him to grasp.  When Andrea lived an hour away, he was used to her coming home on Saturdays and spending the night.  Still he would often ask, “Mom, is Andrea coming over on Saturday?”

The other day, after we had returned from taking her to Texas, Aaron asked his familiar question.  “Mom, is Andrea coming over on Saturday?”

No, Aaron.  She isn’t coming over on Saturday.

“On Friday is Andrea coming?”

No, not on Friday, either.

He persisted.  “But can’t there be any other days that she can visit?”

I reminded him of the map we had examined and that her new home is now too far away for many visits.

And the final reality.  “No more coming to visit?  Is that it?”

Oh Aaron.  I managed to keep from crying and I assured him that we would see her………….just not as often………..and he walked away with not another word, trying to absorb this new part of his life.

I can’t wait for his first Skype experience with his sister……….to see and hear how he’ll react.  Knowing Aaron, he’ll just laugh uncomfortably and then launch into the kinds of things he launched into at breakfast with Gary and I.   It’ll be all about him and his interests, but that’s what we expect and that’s what makes us laugh.  As he told me this morning, “Mom, I was watching a Looney Tunes video last night before bed and I was laughing so hard my eyes became watery!”

I know, Aaron.  My eyes are watery lately, too!  And it’s not always because I’m laughing, but it’s OK.  I’m breathing and I’m thankful for all of my children…………and I’m very much looking forward to the next time that they can come over for a visit!!

This past weekend found us moving Andrea out of her apartment an hour from here as we prepared to take her down to Texas to begin her new life as a graduate student.  Andrew got home late Friday night and on Saturday, with the help of wonderful friends, we got the U-Haul loaded and ready for the trip to Texas on Sunday.  I was dreading all the “lasts” that accompany a time like this and was trying hard not to dwell on them.  Saturday’s supper around our table was one of those “lasts” that I was going to be facing and I was praying that I would stay composed and not get emotional.  I should have known that having Aaron eat with us was the answer I needed.  Oh, he can raise our emotions for sure……………just not the kind that I was dreading.  Thankfully, on this “last supper for a long time” together, Aaron had us laughing.  He had no idea what a relief he brought to us that night!

As always, he talked and talked and talked some more to us, his captive audience.  He does know how to seize the moment when we are all together and then monopolize the conversation.  I don’t remember all that he talked about………….we never do………….and there are times that we try to forget what he said, trust me.  He was very excited about the fact that we were leaving because that meant that Krysten was coming to stay with him………….and that meant eating out and getting pizza and renting movies and having one-on-one time and attention that perfectly suits his “it’s all about me” mind set.  He was looking forward to a break from old Mom and Dad.  Little did he know how much we were looking forward to a break from old Aaron, too!  Ha!

As always, he talked about his latest movie that he’s watching and Handy Answer Religion Book that he’s reading.  He talked about the dog and the weather and what he’s done lately at his day group.  Talking about his day group, Paradigm, reminded him that Brandy, Paradigm’s owner, apparently had some of her family visit………..except that Aaron didn’t refer to these people as Brandy’s family.

“Hey!  Yesterday some of Brandy’s ancestors came to Paradigm.”

We knew right away what Aaron meant.  He continued, “I think they were 5.”

Hmmm……….pretty young ancestors she has.

“So why did she bring her ancestors to Paradigm?  I don’t get why she had her ancestors there.”

So we discussed Brandy’s ancestors coming to Paradigm and how they are actually called relatives and why they might have been there……………and all the while, Aaron kept calling them ancestors.  And he always will.

I had fixed Lasagna for supper, so as Aaron talked we watched him meticulously separate the meat from the cheese.  This was quite a process as Aaron hunched over his plate and scraped and separated, never missing a chance to talk in the midst of this serious food re-arrangement.  Then suddenly he remembered it…………a billboard he had seen while driving with his group.

“Mom!  I saw a sign!  You know, one of those big signs on the road.”

Yes, Aaron…………a billboard.

“Yeah, a billboard!  You know what it said?”

He paused for us to answer………..for us to tell him that we did not know what it said.  He loves this part.

“It said – cornstalk powder for butts!!”

Cornstalk powder for butts?  So now we were all cramming the lasagna in our mouths in an effort to keep from bursting out laughing, as I told Aaron that I bet this was actually cornSTARCH powder.

“Yeah!  Cornstalk powder!  And it’s for butts!  What’s that for?!”

So we had a discussion at this our “last supper together for awhile” about cornstalk powder which is really cornSTARCH powder and why it’s good for baby’s butts.  This is a place I didn’t expect to be during this meal, but I have to say that it did keep my mind off the fact that Andrea was leaving.  And instead of holding back the tears, we were holding back the laughter.

Thank you, Aaron.  You do have a way of diverting us from the reality at hand.  Do you ever!  But finally the subject of Andrea’s soon departure did arise.  Aaron came to attention and we wondered what he was getting ready to say.

“Andrea!  Look what I bought the other day!”  He got up from the table, went into the kitchen, and came back carrying the three…………yes, THREE……….bags of Reese Cups that he had bought at Wal-Mart.

And he said, “Here.  You can have this to take to Texas.”  He handed her a bag of unopened Reese cups.  Normally she would not want them, but she saw his heart and his real message of love.  She accepted the Reese cups and thanked him warmly………….and he was very pleased.

The next morning she went up to his room before we left.  He was sitting at his computer and she gave him a hug and said goodbye.  He just mumbled an unconcerned “OK” and “See you later” and kept playing his game.  She smiled when she came downstairs.  We know and understand Aaron so well.  Anything BUT the mumbled response would have been very surprising.

But there in her little apartment in Texas, as we helped her unpack on Monday, lay that bag of Reese cups.  There lay tangible proof of Aaron’s love, each piece tightly wrapped, waiting to be opened and enjoyed.  Just like our Aaron…………..opening himself in his Aaron way for us to see his heart.

See you later, Andrea!  Enjoy the Reese cups!

In a few days we will move our daughter, Andrea, down to Fort Worth so she can begin graduate school.  Aaron is very attached to Andrea and sees her more as a mother figure than a sister.  She’s lived an hour away for the past 6 months, and every weekend Aaron asks if Andrea is “coming over to see us.”  He knows that she is moving to Texas, and has once again asked if she will “come over to see us” when she moves.  I’ve told him that she won’t be able to come over as often now.  He hasn’t acted upset at this outwardly, but has been quiet when I’ve told him that fact.  He’s processing all of this, as he always does.

One of the first facts that he processed involved the state of Texas itself.  Aaron loves maps and flags and always wants to know where places are located geographically.  One day as he talked about Andrea’s move to Texas, he said, “So Texas is underneath Kansas.  It’s the place of cowboys!”

More or less, Aaron, on both counts.

A couple weeks ago, when Andrea had “come over”, we were eating supper and suddenly Aaron looked at Andrea and said, “Andrea, I can give you a movie to take down there.”    Aaron has quite a collection of DVDs and he loves them, so this was a very generous offer…………..or so we thought.  Until he added:

“You can get it from the shelf on this side of my desk.” –  as he made a hand motion indicating which side he was talking about.   “Those are the ones I don’t like.”

Um……….well………..thanks, Aaron.

One thing you can always count on is that Aaron will be honest……….totally, unashamedly honest.

Aaron was quite pleased with himself and didn’t know why on earth we were laughing.  Later, when Andrea went up to his room, she teasingly asked him if she could take some DVDs from the other side of his desk……….from the large bookshelf full of DVDs that he DOES like………….and that he did not offer to her.  He thought for a few seconds and then told her that, yes, she could take some from that shelf.  And added, “You tell me which ones I don’t like.”  Huh?

Dear honest Aaron.  As is so often the case, we have to sort through what he says or does and still see his heart.  He does love Andrea and to him he was showing that love.

But only on THIS side of his desk!!

Aaron loves Handy Answer Books.  He will read a few pages of one of his Handy Answer Books every night before bed.  Only before bed, mind you.  Aaron will not read at any other time because……….well, because in Aaron’s world there is only one time for reading and that time is right before bed, after his teeth are brushed and all his pillows are placed just right and his back scratcher is positioned beside him in the perfect position and his lamp beside his nightstand is on and the nightstand is pulled right over to where it touches his bed and he and I have said goodnight and hugged and he makes sure that I am going to turn the hall light off and he has asked whether or not it’s going to rain.  I think that’s it.

There are many different Handy Answer Books on topics such as weather, dinosaurs, math, geology, etc.  Right now Aaron is reading the Handy Answer Religion Book.  Some day I will write a blog about Aaron and religion.  He has some interesting insights into this sensitive subject.  Anyway, this Handy Answer Religion Book has been eye-opening to him as he has read about some religions that he had never heard of before.  For instance, Daoism was fascinating to him.  We heard many facts about this unusual religion.

Last night Aaron had a meltdown over not being able to play Spiderman on his computer.  Gary put on another game, Shark Tales, that Aaron could play but Aaron’s Spiderman behavior keeps us from allowing that game.  Therefore, Gary and I were mean and didn’t care and were some other things that Aaron chose to call us…………..and he slammed and banged and generally upset us all – even the dog.  Aaron is like a balloon letting out air at times like this and we usually have to be sure that he lands safely.  And he did finally land…………in the big easy chair in the family room, with a bag of tortilla chips and the TV tuned in to the Olympics.

As we sat there, Aaron completely calmed down and acted as if nothing had even happened.  He was happy and talkative and at ease.  It’s always somewhat amazing to see the change in him – how quickly it happens and how he’s able to pick up like nothing was ever amiss.  Gary and I are still licking our wounds, but not Aaron.

Aaron began talking to me about the new religion that he’s reading about in his Handy Answer Religion Book.    He was struggling to say this religion correctly.  “Mom, I’m reading about a new religion since I finished Daoism.  This new religion is Con…..”  Then he stopped and soon picked it up again.  “It’s called Con…..fus…..”   And finally, “It’s called Confusionism!”

Confusionism, huh?  

“Yes!”  he answered.  “It’s a religion I’ve never heard of called Confusionism!”

After the very confusing up and down day that I had just experienced………………and the confusing up and down meltdown that Aaron experienced………….the religion of Confusionism sounded perfect to me!

On most days, actually, I think I could write the whole chapter on Confusionism in Aaron’s Handy Answer Religion Book!!