My spirit was heavy yesterday as I went about my getting-ready-for-the-day routine. Fresh on my mind was the night before. Most of the day before, actually.
Aaron. Anger because we said no to a game. His hovering presence as he told me not to write his name on our Christmas cards. Escalation from him and then finally from us.
Guilt. Regret. Failure.
There, in the heaviness, one of my very favorite Christmas songs came on Pandora.
Haul out
The holly
Put up the tree
Before my spirit
Falls again
Fill up
The stocking
I may be
Rushing things
But
Deck the halls
Again now.
I’ve loved that song since I was a child. Back then, life was simpler. Now, putting up a tree does not really keep my spirit from falling.
The day before, Aaron and I found out that one of our dear Meals on Wheels clients had suddenly died. His dog, Buster, was Aaron’s favorite. As we sat in the van, talking to the man’s daughter on the phone, Aaron was as shocked as I. He bent over and put the two dog bones he was going to give Buster back in the box. The look on his face broke my heart.
But Santa, dear
We’re in a hurry
So climb
Down the chimney
Turn on
The brightest
String of light
I’ve ever seen
Slice up
The fruitcake
It’s time
We hung
Some tinsel
On that
Evergreen bough.
The trappings of Christmas just aren’t cutting it right now.
Santa…lights…tinsel…definitely not fruitcake!
Not for me…not for my friend just diagnosed with breast cancer…not for our friends just home with their Speedy from yet another hospital stay…
For we need
A little music
Need
A little laughter
Need
A little singing
Ringing through
The rafter
And we need
A little snappy
“Happy ever after”
Need a little
Christmas now.
A little snappy “happy every after” is not what our friends at the funeral home needed to hear from us the other evening as they deeply grieve their son who took his life.
The next song began playing.
O little town of Bethlehem
How still we see thee lie
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by
Yet in they dark streets shineth
The everlasting light
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee tonight
Oh holy child of Bethlehem
Descend to us we pray
Cast out our sins and enter in
Be born to us today.
Certainly not a peppy, fun song.
But there is the real light that we need! Our hopes and our fears…our pain and sadness…our disappointments…
All are met in Him!
Jesus came to be our Savior, not to be the afterthought of all our Christmas decorations and gifts and food.
O morning stars together
Proclaim thy holy birth
And praises sing to God the King
And peace to men on earth
O hear thy sacred angels
As faith holds wide the door
Then darkness wakes, the glory breaks
As Christmas comes once more.
Jesus was born to be the answer to all of life’s hurts…hurts that can’t be ignored even at this special time of year.
No amount of fevered activity can relieve our sorrows.
We can’t manufacture a festive answer that truly lasts. What are we left with when the lights are taken down…the food is eaten…the gifts are opened?
We’re left either with a hollow void waiting to be filled again with our feeble attempts at happiness.
Or we’re left with Jesus.
HE is the light of the world. He wants to be your Savior.
Jesus has the answers that truly last amid life’s struggles.
Thank God for His unspeakable gift, the only gift we really need.
He Said What?! 
So true Patty. So sorry to hear it has been such a difficult week (or two). Thank God, as the song tells us, He is the light that shines in our dark streets.
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Thank you, Pete. We are truly blessed by the gift of Jesus.
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Christmas Hymns are full of meaning because they focus our attention on Jesus while the secular songs focus on the holiday
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You’re so right, Matt. I love the Christmas hymns so much.
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Patty you have captured these thoughts perfectly. I’ve been thinking the same. Friends with cancer. Families struggling. The tinsel and trees seem hollow. All we need, all we ALL need, is Jesus. Blessings to you and your family!
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Thank you, Jo. And I so agree with what you said. All we ALL need is Jesus. Amen! Blessings to you and yours as well.
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Beautifully said Patty as I have my first Christmas without my dear husband, Steve. It is Jesus who is holding my hand and relieving me of my sorrows during this foggy, numbing journey.
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You are in my prayers so often, Barbara, especially in this Christmas season. I am thankful that Jesus is near and giving you peace. I’m so sorry for this pain, though. I love you.
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Hugs and prayers to you, dear Patty.
Thank you for your faithful, authentic blog posts. Thank you for pointing your readers to the One true Answer, Jesus!
Love and prayers
Sindy Brown
Sent from my iPhone
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Thank you, Sindy. May God richly bless you.
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Patty, you captured it all with your post. Our circumstances seem difficult and painful. Jesus, however, shines light and casts out the darkness, bringing hope. May the Lord bless you, and keep you. May his face shine upon you and grant you peace. ❤️⭐️🎼
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Thank you, Hazel. Praise God for being our light in the darkness! Have a blessed Lord’s Day!
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You’re welcome, Patty!
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Thanks Patty. I’ll always appreciate the way you share your heart. Christmas does seem much different from what it used to be years ago. I’m thankful Jesus remains the same. May we find joy in Him. So sorry to hear about your losses.❤️
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Thank you, Dawn. We are so blessed, aren’t we, that as you said – Jesus remains the same. No wavering or changing with Him! Have a very blessed Lord’s Day!
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I’m so sorry it’s been such a difficult week for you and your friends! And you’re right, the trappings of Christmas do nothing to address those very real and deep wounds. But our faith does and knowing that God is with us even during our darkest hours is the only thing that really helps. If we can focus on the real meaning of Christmas, Jesus being born to save very broken world, then the holiday helps. Thanks for putting that so eloquently! My guess is your post will help others who are also struggling this year.
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Thank you, Ann. Christmas is always such a difficult time to be going through “hard stuff.” I do pray that others will be encouraged to look to the Light of the world during their dark days. Have a blessed Lord’s Day!
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What a difference when we look toward Jesus in our difficulties..he is the answer to all of life’s troubles. Prayers over your family, Patty.❤️
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Thank you, my friend! ♥️
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Hi Patty, Thank you for sharing! I’m sorry it’s been such a challenging time but we thank God for the gift of Jesus.
Jesus does go through it all with us.
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And the truth that Jesus goes through it all with us is SUCH a gift! Thank you for reading!
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Patty, you so beautifully let the Light shine where it is needed most and where it shined on that Holy night of Jesus birth- in the darkness and the hard, painful, lonely places on this earth.
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Thank you, Beth. Jesus did, and still does, shine brightest in the darkness. Blessings!
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Patty, what you wrote in this post stuck with me through the evening. It brought to mind a scripture that in turn bloomed into a scripture photo. With your permission, I would love to share that scripture photo this week on my blog and include a quote from you with a link back to this post. Would that be ok with you?
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I would be honored, Beth. Thank you.
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I too am sorry that the joy of Christmas is shadowed by sorrow for you and your friends. And yet. You point the way toward peace and joy in spite of grief–toward Jesus. He IS the light of the world and Savior to all who come to him. HE does have the answers that truly last amid life’s struggles. Amen, Patty! And thank you for this honest yet hope-filled post.
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Thank you, Nancy. Aren’t we so tremendously blessed to know the Light of the World? Praise God! Have a blessed week, Nancy.
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Beautiful post! The most important thing we open at Christmas has nothing to do with anything under the tree. We open our hearts to receive our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. You are right. He is the only light we need, and it is the only light that shines in the darkness. Praying for you, your family, and your friends!
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Thank you, Linda, for your comment and your prayers. Blessings!
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Especially at this time, though it would be so helpful for me any time of the year, your words are so helpful for me today when I’ve been tempted to go the pressure to have everything ‘just right’ … (By the way, I “found you” through Beth Alisan”s latest blog.)
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I’m so glad to “meet” you, Heather. I do appreciate Beth sharing my blog. I’m like you in that I tend to want everything just right, especially for the Christmas season. This year is very different for us and though it’s for good reasons, it can also be sad. I often need to discipline myself to look to the Light of Bethlehem, the baby in the manger, to get my priorities and focus corrected. I look forward to checking out your blog.
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Our household sure knows of what you speak. I remember sitting in a waiting room hoping our daughter would make life’s fight again for the 4th time. I remember turning to my wife and saying “Merry Christmas dear” and we prayed again together.
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Gary, you and your family have walked the dark road and you know full well that the light of Jesus that we should be celebrating at Christmas is truly what we need. Thank you and may God bless you.
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Hi Patty, I’m sorry you have had so much sadness around your Christmas this year. I will pray for you to find comfort and joy through our Lord. It is His love for us that gets us through tough times.
What a beautiful post… Your tree is so beautiful! I may have told you this before, but I’ll repeat it. I have the exact same manger seen as yours. I’ve had it for many years since my adult children were small. My son would put his Darth Vader action figure in the manger scene and when my daughter would find it she would scream and cry (his intended reaction)! This started when she was about 4 and he was 10 and continued for years. If he can find one, I’m sure he will sneak it over here for Christmas Eve! Of course, I still have the same manger scene and always will. Have you had yours for many years, too?
Lord, I pray that Patty and her family and friends will find comfort and joy this holiday season. I pray that they will experience times of laughter which is your medicine. Bless them and keep them. In Jesus’ name, I pray.
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Thank you so much, Cindy, for your kind words and prayers. It seems that so many are going through hard times right now. Those times just make the light of Jesus shine even brighter. And yes, I have had that manger scene for many years, too. I LOVE the Darth Vader story! What a fun family memory! Let me know if your son does bring Darth Vader again this year. 🙂 Blessings, Cindy.
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Merry Christmas, sweet friend!
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